From Anger to Intimacy

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From Anger to Intimacy - slides by LamB

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  • 1. From Anger to Intimacy
    Chapter 1 You Dont Have To Live That Way Anymore
    • Anger: A God-give Emotion
  • 2. Event Emotion Anger Sin

Chapter 2 Recognize: Identify Where Anger Appears

  • Stuffing, Spewing, Studying (3 Ss)

Chapter 3 Halt: Breaking the Cycle of Anger

  • Buttons from Men and Women form a Anger Cycle

3. Either one of us can already break the Anger CycleChapter 4
Own: Taking Responsibility
4. Own: Taking Responsibly
Three Expressions of Anger (3 Rs)
Repay, Replay, Resolve
Five Tactics To Resolve Anger (5 Cs)
Call a Time-out
Cry out to God
Commit to Forgive your Mate
Choose a Different Reaction
Create Judgment-Free Zones
Expectations Towards Resolution (3 Es)
Expect Problems and Misunderstanding
Expect that youll need a Lot of Patience
Expect a Lot of Trial and Error
5. What does it look like the most?
6. Answer:Your another hand
7. You and your spouse are a PAIR
PAIR SAME
A Lot of Similarities
A Lot of Differences
Have you ever complained your left-hand for not holding chopsticks?
DO NOT complain your spouse you can train your spouse, but not complain.
What should the expectations be?
8. Another story about complaint
W: Why cant you turn off the light after using the kitchen? How many times do I need to tell you again?
H: Whatever
9. Behind the story
Fact 1: H turned on the kitchen light because he wanted to be nice and cut an apple for W.
Fact II: H forgot to turn it off after that.
10. Why did they get angry?
W was REPLAYING Fact II, and turning blinded on Fact I.
H was REPAYING, because he was not recognized for Fact I, and turning blinded on Fact II.
11. REPLAY
Are you a Replayer? (Page 102 103)
What can be replayed? What cant?
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is notable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such things
Philippians 4:8
Counting the fault from your own, not from others.
Counting the grace from others, not from your own.
LamB 2:8
12. REPAY
Got hurt Protect yourself Repay
Fact I: Repay can hurt your spouse.
Fact II: Repay cannot protect you.
Fact III: Repay can form a cycle.
13. REPAY is a Double Blade
You only see the wound on your own.
You cant see your spouse also got hurt when he/she hurt you with a double blade.
Healing: it takes time but God can do it.
14. RESOLVE
Call a Time-out
My dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen [and] slow to speak.
James 1:19
Slow down your Own
Take time to understand your spouse first, rather than rushing yourself to reflex with a [bad] response.
LamB 8:2
15. RESOLVE
Cry Out to God
But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
James 4:6
Humble your Own
God, thank You for my wife. She has just pushed my button. I appreciate that so much, God. Shes a great tool that You are using in my life to help me mature with You.
From Anger to Intimacy: page 109
16. RESOLVE
Commit to Forgiving Your Mate
Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God, through Christ, has forgiven you.
Eph. 4:31-32
Untie your Own
When you choose to forgive, on the other hand, you untie the knots put into a relationship by letting go of the offense. And the moment you forgive someone, God unties your own tangle.
From Anger to Intimacy: page 90
17. RESOLVE
Slow down your own
Humble your own
Forgive your mate
Untie YOUR tangle
18. RESOLVE
Choose a Different Reaction
After looking at himself goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.
James. 1:24
Find out your Own
Many people approach the Bible as a man approaches a mirror. They just glances inside like a man glances in the mirror, and then they are gone. Yet if you spend time in the Scriptures, you not only discover who you are, but you also discover who you are created to be.
From Anger to Intimacy: Page 93
19. RESOLVE
Create Judgment-Free Zone
First take the plank out of your own eye then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers eye.
Matt. 7:5
Recognize the big log in your Own
In a judgment-free zone, your spouse can share all of her deepest insecurities. He can share his deepest fears and doubts. He or she can share without fear of being rejected, abandoned or mocked. Judgment-free zones are one of the hallmarks of a secure marriage.
From Anger to Intimacy: Page 95
20. Summary
LamB 2:8
21. Exercise
22. Exercise
Henry
Brian
Nui Nui
Cecy
Joyce L
Roy
Sunny
Joyce Y
Mandy
23. Exercise (page 88 -89)
Count 3 Graces from Your Spouse
Count 3 Faults from Your Own
Pray with John 15: 1-5
Thanksgiving and Forgive Each Other