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Teens & Texting

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Teens use their cell phones to text their friends and their significant others; In the chapter almost every teen used a cell phone to communicate with each other.

The chapter mentioned how significant others may pay for their girlfriend/boyfriend’s cell phone; however that usually comes with rules for the phone usage, as it does with parents paying the bill.One of the boyfriends mentioned in the book who paid the bill, reportedly wanted his girlfriend to answer his calls at all times, even if she was busy and explain either that she was busy or that she could talk. He also expected her to tell him who she was texting whenever they were hanging out.

To me, that seems borderline controlling, but luckily most teens just use their phones to communicate with each other and it doesn’t cause many issues.

TEENS & TEXTING

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Sometimes however, bad things can happen with cell phones. The teens talked about how occasionally an embarrassing photo of them at a party or something would get around school through the use of cell phones.

http://admintell.napco.com/ee/images/uploads/gadgetell/teens_cell_phone_3_thumb.jpg

Image retrieved: http://blog.dialaphone.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/seduce4_26_02_08.jpg

Teens use their phone to communicate with each other. Whether through texting or voice conversations.

FLIRTING ONLINE

Many teens would flirt online, however many expressed hesitancy doing so in person.

Upon reaching University, Bob stated “you actually saw them and didn't say anything... the game was over.” (pg. 126 - 127)

Image retrieved from: http://images.askmen.com/dating/doclove_400/468_doc-love-shes-flirting-online_flash.jpg

"It's a lot easier to flirt digitally than it is in person 'cause there's no awkward silence. You can't say something you don't mean 'cause you could sit there at one comment on a person's profile and spend a half an hour making sure that everything is right. Like some words are lowercase on purpose. The punctuation's just the way... I want it to look sloppy, but it really has this, you know, acute meaning to it. (Sims, Rural, and Urban Youth)" Bob, (pg. 143).

http://pad2.whstatic.com/images/thumb/4/42/Flirt-With-a-Girl-on-Facebook-Step-1.jpg/550px-Flirt-With-a-Girl-on-Facebook-Step-1.jpg

CONFIRMING RELATIONSHIPS ONLINE

To confirm a relationship some teens would put the date of the start of their relationship on their online profile; things like 11/2/10 <3 or 4.5.2012 forever, baby, or even things like 6.24.2013 J.C. + R. W. sometimes even in their name or headline on MySpace.

Some teens would put their significant other’s picture on their profile (in the days of MySpace & HTML). Or perhaps they would take a picture together and have it as their default picture on their respective social media site.

Other teens would sometimes just post silly things in comments on MySpace or wall posts on Facebook. Things to make them smile, think about them, or just so others know that they are in a relationship, therefore they are taken and not interested in anyone else.

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Will Ferrell image retrieved from: http://img.pandawhale.com/post-3297-Facebook-relationship-status-W-16dr.png

CONFIRMING RELATIONSHIPS ONLINE

Image retrieved from: http://womencyclists.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/ready-change-facebook-flirting-ecard-someecards.jpg

“Joan, a first-year student atthe University of California, Berkeley, said,“Yeah, I have friends [who] have confirmed they have gone official with their boyfriends through Facebook, which is ridiculous. I have known people that are dating and they’ll get a request “so and so said that you are their girlfriend.” They pushed the button and they are like, “Oh my God, we’re official.” (Finn, Freshquest)” (pg. 131).

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http://blogs-images.forbes.com/kashmirhill/files/2011/03/Mark-Zuckerberg-in-a-relationship.jpg

ENDING A RELATIONSHIP ONLINE

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The interview done by Danah Boyd outlining Amy & Michael’s relationship, in Box 3.1 pages 133 – 135. She briefed that in the beginning of the interview, Amy was in a relationship with Michael. However only a week later, she was dating a new guy named Scott. One month later, Amy was dating yet another new person. Not to say that this is necessarily bad, but it is obviously frequent. Danah Boyd also mentioned how Michael had deleted all of the information about her and if anything replaced it with offensive things. A month later, when Amy was dating yet another new person, and Michael had deleted his friends and all of his information.

Image retrieved from: http://sepiabrown.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/facebook-relationship-status2.jpg

Image retrieved from: http://thesouthernnews.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/facebook-relationship-status.jpg

UTILIZING INSTANT MESSAGING (IM’ING) PROGRAMS

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Image retrieved from: http://pennalumniblog.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/aim-chat.gif

“I get out of the shower, get dressed, go to my PC, log on to MSN, and talkto Alice,” said Jesse about his girlfriend Alice and is morning routine. (pg. 117).

“John, for instance, likes to flirt over IM because it is “easy to get a message across without having to phrase it perfectly” and “because I can think about things more. You can deliberate and answer however you want.”” (pg. 124).

“Joan, the Berkeley freshman, claims that she and her first boyfriend would talk online all the time, all the time. Like, we talked on the phone but then sometimes we talked on the phone and IMed at the same time . . . especially it’s like our parents was in the room and then we would talk to them and then if there is something that you don’t want your mom to hear you could type it and then you could talk about it. (Finn, Freshquest)” (pg. 138).

THE PROBLEM WITH GROUP CHATS

Robert's story exemplifies that the great part of instant messaging and group chats can also be very bad (pg. 144 - 145). He was starting to go on chat rooms after his parents went to bed, a gay chat room where he would talk and express himself to others. Eventually he said that he started to privately converse with others he met on the online chat group, and perhaps exchanging pictures or webcam chats. However, one day an adult sent him a picture he did not want at all and it scarred him a lot- he ended up deleting his MSN account and smashed his computer camera.

Image retrieved from: http://www.ipredator.co/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/internet-predators-are-real-ipredators.png

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Image retrieved from: http://www5.pcmag.com/media/images/281354-imo-network-group-chat.jpg

MEETING PEOPLE ONLINE

Dana said she met her boyfriend online through mutual friends, stating "he requested me 'cause he liked what he seen, and then my best friend talked to him about me and then because of MySpace we were goin' out... 'Cause if MySpace wasn't there, then I woulda not had him as a boyfriend. We talked on AIM and then we exchange the numbers, and then I met him. I seen him before, but I got him noticed on MySpace and now we're together. (Sims, Rural and Urban Youth)." (pg. 126). Dana eventually met him in a group setting with other friends, after conversing online for a while.

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However, some people like Grady say: "I'm not going to start a conversation with a girl on MySpace or text messaging. I'm going to start in person first. Then it's kind of like weird and geeky, you know?" (pg. 125-126). Some people find it geeky and would never do it.

MEETING PEOPLE ONLINE

Personally for me, I meet almost everyone I know currently online. I didn’t have many friends in high school, and my parents were great about driving me where-ever; so I made friends a few towns away. This started around the time I was 12-13 years old. My first friends online were Mikey and Zech, lived in Gardiner (I lived in Sidney, so at most 15 miles away), who then introduced me to my friends Josh (on the phone, and we then chose to meet in person), Rob, and Scott. I’m still friends with them and actually keep in good contact with them to this day.

My very best friend Michelle whom I’ve been friends since I was 12, I met entirely online and met in person the summer of turning 14. I did not tell my parents this…. But it all went well! I went all the way to California to meet her (with family). I’ve ‘met’ her 3 times now and I try to visit her every other summer.

My best friend Maiko I also met online; and I met him randomly when we were both in the same town and I thought he was my friend Mikey! I hang out with Maiko almost every weekend now, and I’m friends with nearly all of his friends, and he’s friends with nearly all of my friends.

I’ve had really good experiences meeting people online, but I understand that not everyone does. When I was younger and more naive I definitely could have made a lot of mistakes, but luckily my parents didn’t let me meet them. I still don’t meet everyone I know online; only the ones I have a real connection with. I think it all really depends on both people involved in the communication and the time they’ve spent getting to know eachother.

Me & my best friend Michelle last summer at a concert

CONCLUSION

This was a really interesting chapter and book, and it was funny how some things were explained as if it was written by an alien or written to explain these things to very, very old people. It was all in a very “scientific” and “research” type format. It was a great research and interview book regarding communication and teens. I think I learned a lot and it reminded me of various things I did when I was younger on MySpace: post pictures of meaningful people on my profile, top friends, ‘about me’, how so many people would be in and out of relationships. How there are things I would never personally do, like control my significant other’s phone use or ask for their password.

The chapter laid out the communication and media habits of teens in relationships. It did not mention sex or sex-related things much, as the researchers thought they were talked about too much in main-stream media and other research paper, and yet their communication habits online and through the phone were never talked about that much. This chapter fixed that problem with interviews and research, and really made the research worthy and well-founded. Now, there is research regarding teen’s communication habits.