Habit – 4 Think Win/Win

Principles of Interpersonal Leadership

Habit – 4 Think Win/Win

President and lack of Cooperation

– Lack of cooperation, resistance, defensive & selfishness

– Overdrawn Emotional Bank Account– No rewards for not cooperating– Racehorse – who will be 1st to finish line to Bermuda?

• What do you think? Have you seen this “paradigm of Competition?

Six Paradigms of Human Interaction

• Win/Win • Lose/Lose • Win/Lose • Win • Lose/Win • Win/Win or No Deal

Win/Win

• Agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial• • It’s not your way or my way; It’s a better way, a

higher way.

• Cooperation NOT Competition

• Let’s work together

Win/Lose

• Authoritarian approach

• Paradigm of the race to Bermuda

• Use of:

– position – Power– Credential– Possessions– personality to get one's way.

• “If I’m better than my brother, my parents will love me more.”• Normal Distribution curve at some colleges!• PTA meeting and son and daughter differing in class

The win/lose mentality is dysfunctional to interdependence

Use of Competition not cooperation is utilized

Exercise

• Think of where cooperation is effective?

• Think also where competition is effective?

Lose/Win

• Lose/Win people are quick to please or appease. • Capitulation -- giving in or giving up.

Go ahead. Have your way with me!

Step on me again.

I’m a loser

I’m a peacemaker

Win/Lose love Lose/Win people

They can FEED on their weaknesses.

Have you ever felt like this? Share?

Lose/Lose

• Result of encounters between two Win/Lose individuals. – Stubborn, determined, egoistic

– Philosophy of war and conflict

– Divorce case where husband sold car for $50 and gave $25 to wife

Win

• Win at all costs. Other people don't matter.

• The most common approach in everyday negotiation.

• Doesn’t matter if you win or lose as long as I WIN!

Which Option is Best?

• From the five paradigms discussed which option is the most appropriate the majority of the time?

• Discuss?

.

Win/Win or No Deal

• If we can't find a solution that would benefit both parties, we agree to disagree.

• Most realistic at the beginning of a relationship or enterprise.

• Art of Negotiation tip! No Deal! Surely one can agree to a win/win compromise!

• Software president signs contract to a bank $84k.The bank president leaves and a new bank president revokes contract for a No Deal. Software president accepts and loses contract. However, 3 mths later gets $240k contract

Five Dimensions of Win/Win

• Character• Relationships• Agreements• Structure and Systems• Process

Five Dimensions of Win/Win - Character

• Character - The foundation of Win/Win

– Integrity. The value we place on ourselves.

– Maturity. The balance between courage and consideration.

– Abundance Mentality. There is plenty out there for

everybody.

Five Dimensions of Win/Win - Relationships

• Courtesy, respect and appreciation for the other person and his point of view.

• High Emotional Bank Account • High Trust• With Win/Lose people focus on the circle of influence

to gain trust – Make deposits until win/win

Role play a situation where you are dealing with a win/lose person to a win/win situation.

Five Dimensions of Win/Win - Agreements

• Win/Win Agreements:

– Desired results – Guidelines – Resources – Accountability – standards of performance – Consequences

Win/Win Management training

• Bank wants to train graduates in 6 months at cost of $750k. Asked to improve upon.– No goals– Low salary – No on the job training

• Recommended learner-controlled instruction by empowering trainees with objectives and incentives

• Took 3.5 weeks to finish!

Five Dimensions of Win/Win - Performance agreements

• Daughter 16 driving car with mutual agreement and consequences otherwise

• Performance evaluation meetings and objectives

Five Dimensions of Win/Win - Supportive Systems

• Reward systems must reflect all.

– Saudi Arabia 1st year 40 out of 1000 get recognized– 2nd year 800 out of 1000 get rewards

Five Dimensions of Win/Win - Processes.

• The route to Win/Win:

– See the problem from another point of view. – Identify the key issues and concerns involved. – Determine what results would constitute a fully

acceptable solution. – Identify possible new options to achieve those results.