A Holiday Tradition...
12 Christmas Chuckles by Derrick Wood
www.foolishtimes.net2 December 2014 www.foolishtimes.net
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www.foolishtimes.netwww.foolishtimes.net 3December 2014
What the Bleep isFoolish Times?
Foolish Times is a free monthly tabloid publishing the best humor we can find (some months we search harder than others). The opinions or ideas expressed by contributors are not necessarily those of Foolish Times, its owner, advertisers, or associates, or their extended families, or their friends or neighbors, or their asso-ciated pen pals, up to and including cock-atiels. All articles, graphics, photographs, and what-not (especially the what-not) are copyrighted by the so-called writers" and "artists" who contribute them. Foolish Times uses invented names in all its sto-ries, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.
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List of FoolsChucklehead.......................Stevie P.Editorial Fool..........................Susie Q.Sales Fool..............................Hunter T.Art Fool..............................Morgan M.Resident Humorist............Larry Wilde
ContributorsBini, Lily Brun, Max Cannon, Ted Gargiulo, Debbie Harris, Dennis Hengeveld, Brian Iglesias, Daria
James, Rex Keyes, Richard Matranga, Stephen L. Millich, Quarlen Qurossman,
Chuck Scardina, Chuck Shepherd, Rosie Sorenson, Monty Truitt, Henry
Tunahuna, Derrick Wood
Foolish TimesP.O. Box 4046 Monterey, CA 93942
The Chucklehead SpeaksThere are two sides to every story. There is Yin and Yang, Laurel and Hardy and what goes up must come down. What Im referring to is the heat I took for dusting of the cover of last years December issue drawn by local icon Chuck Scardina and illustrated by our very Art Fool, Morgan M. and running it for the second time.
Pete and Repeat? I like to think of it as creating a tradition. A tradition is a behavior or action that you engage in again and again. Done correctly, it lends a certain magic, spirit and texture to our everyday lives. This is sounding more and more like an addiction to me. Never the less, we are starting a tradition and reusing this great piece of art on our December cover and to add to that, we also brought back the 12 Christmas Chuckles by cartoonist Derrick Woods.
To all of youembrace the old traditions, create new addictions and enjoy this wonderful Holiday Season. Thank you for supporting the advertisers, we couldnt bring humor into your lives without them. See you in 2015; its going to be a great year!
Stevie P. / email@example.com
Editors NoteAt the risk of sounding completely unoriginalI cant believe the end of the year is here. Twelve issues are behind us. What an incredible group of contributors and advertisers we have. Year-in-and-year-out we can count a them to be a part of the foolishness we create each month. They bring their good humor, funny insights and silly thoughts to help make this magazine one to laugh at. And we like that! Its a good thing!
Whatever your holiday plans this year, we hope youll find a place in them for Foolish Times. I envision dinner around the table and with family and friends reading a favorite joke or quote from a favorite writer. Thats my holiday wishthat you celebrate with laughter. Magic happens when we laughespecially when we laugh out loud! So have a good guffaw on us!
Susie Q. / firstname.lastname@example.org
4 December 2014 www.foolishtimes.net
Tony and Sta
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On The First Day of Christmas...
Jogging ShoesDeciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoes, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. Whats this little pocket thing here on the side for?
Oh, thats to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when youve jogged too far.
Say What?An elderly couple was driving across the country. While the woman was behind the wheel, the couple was pulled over by the highway patrol.
Maam, did you know you were speeding? the officer said.
The woman, hard of hearing, turned to her husband and asked, What did he say?
He said you were speeding! the old man yelled.
The patrolman then asked, May I see your license?
The woman turned to her husband again, What did he say?
The old man yelled back, He wants to see your license!The woman then gave the officer her license.
I see you are from Arkansas, the patrolman said. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman Ive ever seen.
The woman turned to her husband again and asked, What did he say?
The old man replied, He said he knows you!
On Your OwnMy husband retired, and for the first time in over 40 years I had to think about preparing midday meals.
Tired of it after several months, I said, I married you for better or worse, but not for lunch.
Fair enough. From now on Ill make my own, he replied.
A few weeks later he had to go downtown on business and invited me to join him afterwards.
We could have lunch at that Chinese place we both like, he suggested.
I happily agreed. At the restaurant the next day we were seated, and the waiter came to take our order.
My husband looked up, a twinkle in his eyes and said, Separate checks, please
5December 2014www.foolishtimes.net www.foolishtimes.net
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