Peaceful Problem Solving

throughPeer Mediation

October 2012

Let’s get to know each other!

(Activity 1)

What is Peer Mediation?

What is it for?

Peer Mediation

What does it do?• It’s a way of children helping their peers to

solve problems.• It provides children with certain skills to do

this.What qualities does a peer mediator need?Have you got these qualities? ( Activity 2)

Peer Mediation

The Skills:• Listening• Reflecting• Recognising two sides of any one conflict• Valuing opinions and feelings of others• Looking for solutions with a win/win outcome

How does it work?Mediation only ever involves two children!

Those children choose to go to the mediators if they are upset and have a problem with another child.

The mediators help both children to tell and listen to each side of the story.

The mediators help the children to think about each others’ feelings, and find a solution.

(Activitiy 3)

PROBLEMS!• Only low level problems can be mediated. Mediation can not take place if:• the children involved do not want to solve the

problem.• there is any ‘ bullying’ taking place • there is swearing used during mediation• there is any violence involved or threatening

behaviour• the children are not prepared to listen

When to Mediate

You can mediate if both children:• have asked you to mediate• are both talking calmly• are both ready to tell the truth• they both want to solve the problemYou need to let an adult know if:• anyone is making threats • anyone is getting hurt or is in danger

How does it work?The mediators use a script to work through to

reach a solutionOpportunities for each child to :• explain their side of the story• say how they each feel

• consider each others feelings• think of possible solutions• reach a win/win solution

Do you agree?

• The wolf shouldn’t have bothered the 3 Little Pigs.

• The wolf shouldn’t have tried to destroy their homes.

• The whole thing was The Big Bad Wolf’s fault.

Do you agree?

• The 3 Little Pigs should have shared what they had.

• 3 Little Pigs should have been friendly with the wolf.

• The Big Bad Wolf shouldn’t have eaten both pigs.

What do you think now?

So now you have heard the other side of the story……

……have you changed your mind at all?

Why?

Always see both sidesWe usually take sides with one person in an

argument, the one who seems most wrong, but there are always two sides to a story.

Even someone who has acted badly will have a reason for doing so.

Mediators never take sides, even if one party seems to be wrong.

The Big Bad Wolf goes to counselling!

The wolf was so upset by what happened that he needed to talk to someone.

Watch the following short scene and be prepared to say what you think about the

councillor’s listening skills!

Mediation- Stage 1Welcoming people and making them feel good.Mediators say: “Welcome to the mediation. Our names

are… (Give your name and ask theirs)”• “We’re glad you’ve come. Being here will help you to

solve your problem. Then you’ll feel a lot better.”• “We’re not going to solve your problem for you.

You’re going to solve it yourselves. Our job is to help you.”

• “We have a few rules to help us in the mediation”(Tell them the rules and get them to agree

to keep them).

The Rules of Mediation

• Respect each other• Only speak when its your turn• Be honest• If you tell us something serious we will have to

tell the teacher• You must want to solve the problem

Mediation- Stage 2Hearing each side of the story• Mediator: “We know there are different sides to

every story and we’re going to listen to each of them.”

• Mediator to first child: “So, please tell me what you think happened.”

• Mediator then repeats back: “So you’re telling me that…”

• Mediator to second child: “So, please tell me what you think happened.”

• Mediator then repeats back: “So you’re telling me that…”

Mediation- Stage 2• Mediator: “now we’ll hear how that felt to each

of you”• To first child: “How did that make you feel?”• Mediator then repeats back: “So you’re telling

me that…”• To second child: “How did that make you feel?”• Mediator then repeats back: “So you’re telling me that…”

Mediation- Stage 3Seeing other points of view• Mediator: “We are trying to understand how both of

you feel.”• Mediator to first child: “So, can you tell me how you

think that made….feel?” ”• Mediator then repeats back: “So you’re telling me

that…”• Mediator to second child: “So, can you tell me how

you think that made….feel?”• Mediator then repeats back: “So you’re telling

me that…”

Mediation- Stage 4Understanding what we need to do to move towards

a solution • Mediator : “Now we need to understand what each

of you needs to feel better about this.”• to first child: “So, please tell me what you need to

happen, so that you can feel better.”• Mediator then repeats back: “So you’re telling me

that…”• Mediator to second child: “So, please tell me what

you need to happen, so that you can feel better.”• Mediator then repeats back: “So you’re telling me that…”

Mediation- Stage 4• Mediator: “now we’ll see what we can do to solve

this problem”• To first child: “So what can you do to help solve this

problem?”• Mediator then repeats back: “So you’re telling me

that…”• To second child: “So what can you do to help solve

this problem?”• Mediator then repeats back: “So you’re telling me

that…”• Brainstorm ideas with other mediators “Can anybody

suggest any alternative solutions?”

Mediation- Stage 5

Making an agreement• Mediator “We’ll check what we’ve agreed” • to first child: “So you have agreed that…”• to second child: “Are you happy with this?”• to second child: “So you have agreed that…”• to first child: “Are you happy with this?”• Mediator: “Now, what might you do to solve

this problem in future?”