Graduate Students With FamiliesGraduate Students With Families

Baylor University

Graduate Student Orientation

August 15, 2007

Baylor University

Graduate Student Orientation

August 15, 2007

Read 100 pages by tomorrow… Have dinner with the family… Finish that annotated bibliography… Help get the kids to bed… Oh, and it would be nice if you were able to go to

church with the family… And did you forget your T.A. duties?

HOW DO YOU FIND THE TIME??

Read 100 pages by tomorrow… Have dinner with the family… Finish that annotated bibliography… Help get the kids to bed… Oh, and it would be nice if you were able to go to

church with the family… And did you forget your T.A. duties?

HOW DO YOU FIND THE TIME??

Who am I to talk?Who am I to talk?

First and foremost - a fellow sufferer on the same journey

Grad school, version 1.0 (“Just Married!”) Wife’s MBA Grad School, version 2.0 (balancing work

and school) @ Baylor (on the tenure track)

First and foremost - a fellow sufferer on the same journey

Grad school, version 1.0 (“Just Married!”) Wife’s MBA Grad School, version 2.0 (balancing work

and school) @ Baylor (on the tenure track)

What Have I Learned?What Have I Learned?

#1 - Communication is Key Lack of it can seriously affect your family

Schedule Study Times & Set Realistic Deadlines

Keep a Family Calendar To make sure everyone’s on the same page and

knows what to expect And update it regularly! And check it regularly, too!

#1 - Communication is Key Lack of it can seriously affect your family

Schedule Study Times & Set Realistic Deadlines

Keep a Family Calendar To make sure everyone’s on the same page and

knows what to expect And update it regularly! And check it regularly, too!

At Busy Times… (they’re all busy times, but some are busier than

others) It’s the little things…

A note Keep the kids in the loop, too Give the kids a prize to work towards

At Busy Times… (they’re all busy times, but some are busier than

others) It’s the little things…

A note Keep the kids in the loop, too Give the kids a prize to work towards

During Family Times… be present -- don’t cheat! schedule studies around meals and kid-times

(i.e., after they go to bed). know your own level of obsession remember your spouse’s pressures

During Family Times… be present -- don’t cheat! schedule studies around meals and kid-times

(i.e., after they go to bed). know your own level of obsession remember your spouse’s pressures

Communication, #2Communication, #2

Expectations vs. Reality Big area of tension in marriages

My wife’s mental arithmetic

Less time than expected Learn to schedule your study times Be flexible Take advantage of times apart

Expectations vs. Reality Big area of tension in marriages

My wife’s mental arithmetic

Less time than expected Learn to schedule your study times Be flexible Take advantage of times apart

OverallOverall

Look for the positives You may have flexible time

allows you to have lunch with your spouse and/or kids, be available for school functions, etc.

Breaks between semesters allows time to reconnect with family

Look for the positives You may have flexible time

allows you to have lunch with your spouse and/or kids, be available for school functions, etc.

Breaks between semesters allows time to reconnect with family

Some Specific SuggestionsSome Specific Suggestions For keeping your sanity…

Email each other about scheduling issues Marriage Counseling 101; Communicate your needs clearly:

“I need…

…a break. …more sleep. …some quiet. …to work. …you to take a child someplace. …more time with you (or as a family). …some grace… some prayer… some help…

There is simple power in these words when spoken to a spouse

For keeping your sanity… Email each other about scheduling issues Marriage Counseling 101; Communicate your needs clearly:

“I need…

…a break. …more sleep. …some quiet. …to work. …you to take a child someplace. …more time with you (or as a family). …some grace… some prayer… some help…

There is simple power in these words when spoken to a spouse

Some Specific SuggestionsSome Specific Suggestions

A date night (make a habit of it!) (even if it’s just doing something special

together at home after the kids go to bed) Take a walk (away from work & phone) Go to a park

don’t try this in July & August Go out for coffee Go to “Place 2BU” events

A date night (make a habit of it!) (even if it’s just doing something special

together at home after the kids go to bed) Take a walk (away from work & phone) Go to a park

don’t try this in July & August Go out for coffee Go to “Place 2BU” events

Family Time SuggestionsFamily Time Suggestions

SLC (pool, climbing rock, etc.) Pool parties!

Mayborn Museum (Discovery Center) Cameron Park Zoo Waco Lion’s Park/Kiddieland Bear Habitat Simple things:

have your spouse bring the kids over to campus for lunch at the SUB

Chick-fil-a, Ninfas, Quiznos, and more -- kids love having a choice, and you get to spend a little time together

SLC (pool, climbing rock, etc.) Pool parties!

Mayborn Museum (Discovery Center) Cameron Park Zoo Waco Lion’s Park/Kiddieland Bear Habitat Simple things:

have your spouse bring the kids over to campus for lunch at the SUB

Chick-fil-a, Ninfas, Quiznos, and more -- kids love having a choice, and you get to spend a little time together

This is a season…This is a season…

Seasons pass… Focus on maintaining your relationship with

your family (and getting good grades, too)

Remember what’s important -- remember what will last…

Seasons pass… Focus on maintaining your relationship with

your family (and getting good grades, too)

Remember what’s important -- remember what will last…

Your familyYour family

Also…Also…

Remind yourself of all of this often…

I certainly have a tendency to forget!

Remind yourself of all of this often…

I certainly have a tendency to forget!