Where does courage come from? It comes from a child’s belief in himself – a belief that he is a lovable, capable person who has a good chance to succeed. And when he doesn’t succeed, he looks inward for a belief that he is much more than just his achievements – that there is something worthwhile and special about him just because he is himself. This belief – his self-esteem – helps motivate him to continue to work hard for good grades even after he has received a low one. It also gives him the confidence to say “no” to his friends when they pressure him to smoke.

When we have high self-esteem, we think we have a good chance to succeed, and we know that all is not lost if we don’t. This confidence gives us the courage to take reasonable risks.

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UNFORTUNATELY, THE OPPOSITE ALSO IS TRUE.

When we think poorly of ourselves — that we are unlovable and not capable — our self-esteem drops. This low self-esteem produces discouragement and fear.

Kids with high self-esteem have the courage to take positive risks, while those with low self-esteem don’t bother to take risks, or they take unwise ones because they don’t value themselves.

A CHILD WITH

MORE LIKELY TO:

Risk making mistakes in school by working hard and trying his best.Do what she knows is right even if she loses friends in the process.Cooperate with parents, even when he doesn’t always get his way.Find positive ways, such as sports and other healthy activities, to achieve goals and challenge themselves.

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Start with an event. When

PARENTS AS ENCOURAGERS

When your child is discouraged, you will want to help her break out of her failure cycle. When she’s encouraged, you’ll want to help her continue to thrive in her success cycle. To do both requires a skillful blend of encouragement and discipline. In this booklet, we will look at developing our encouragement skills.

Four ways we sometimes discourage

Focusing on mistakes and weaknesses .If someone important to you spends more time pointing out your faults than your strengths, you may come to believe there is much more wrong with you than right. If that important person yells or sounds disgusted with you, it hurts even more. If he calls you names and attacks your

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character, you may begin to believe you are as bad as he says. Improvement begins to seem impossible. This is how a child feels when his parent constantly points out the mistakes he makes.

Expecting the worst or too little.If you don’t believe in your child’s abilities, he probably won’t believe in them either. Parents don’t always express these low expectations overtly, but kids get the message loud and clear.

Expecting too much.On the other hand, if you expect more from your child that she is able to give, she may gradually stop trying. No matter what she accomplishes, she will never satisfy you. Or so it seems to her. She may decide to stop trying and turn to excelling in negative ways, such as smoking, drug abuse, unhealthy sexual activity, or violence.

Overprotecting and pampering.If you are constantly telling your child how dangerous the world is and preventing him from taking even reasonable risks, he may begin to believe he can’t handle things for himself. He may become extremely dependent on you and expect you to take over all his decisions. Alternatively, he may rebel and take reckless risks just to show that you can’t run his life.

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1. Focus on mistakes and weaknesses

2. Expect the worst or too little

3. Expect too much

4. Overprotect and pamper

these ways of discouraging children can be turned into powerful forms of encouragement.

DO

DON’T

1. Build on strengths

2. Show confidence

3. Value the teen for who he or she is

4. Stimulate independence

TURNING discouragement

INTOencouragement

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Courage allows them to say no when their peers are participating in

dangerous activities. Self-esteem will make it much less likely that they

will want to harm their bodies by smoking cigarettes. I know parenting

can be a challenge, but with knowledge and experience, it becomes

easier. We all want to raise healthy and self-assured children. Hopefully,

with some of the information I’ve shared with you, this task will seem

less daunting. The simple fact that you have taken time to read this

shows that you are committed to active parenting. I know you are a

great parent. Keep up the good work.

PREVENTINGKIDSEVENcigarette

FROMTRYING

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