Be the captain of your table -Communicating Effectively

Be the Captain of Your Table

By

Andrea Nierenberg

1

The deepest craving of human nature is the need to feel valued and valuable. To be a great conversationalist–make others feel important.

22013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com

Be the Captain of Your Table

• Create conversation chemistry.

• Get your point across.

• Keep the conversation going.

• Incorporate the 3 ways we communicate for any social situation.


Visual & Non-Verbal

Body Language and What We Silently Communicate• What impression are you really making?

• What are the body signals that show you’re:


• What are the insights detected by others as you speak?

– Attracted?

– Intimidated?

– Want to get away?

– Excited?

– Bored?

– Interested?

Verbal

The secret to telling a good story:

• Prepare & Plan ahead!


– Know your audience and try to find out who you’ll be meeting.

– Keep it SHORT!!!– Organize a beginning, middle

and end.

GREAT Communicators

The mysterious qualities that make one person charismatic and likeable and another less so have been contemplated by philosophers and business people throughout the years.


Seven qualities that the finest communicators always possess:

1. Confident and secure in their curiosity and charisma factor

2. Appreciate those who help them

3. Nurture relationships consistently–focus on the other person


GREAT Communicators

GREAT Communicators

4. Tenacious in going around obstacles

5. Excellent listeners

6. Rebound quickly and completely from rejection–don’t take it personally

7. Friendly and approachable.


The Five A’s

How to be extremely interesting and memorable:

• Accept Others As They Are – refrain from criticizing or critiquing unless asked

• Appreciation – making someone else feel good–often by sincerely saying “thank you”

• Approval – “babies cry for it” – “adults die for it”–look for ways to give praise

• Admiration – Abraham Lincoln “Everybody likes a compliment’”

• Attention – showing value and being present creates chemistry


Ways to Win


People to Your Way of Thinking —Dale Carnegie

Avoid arguments.

Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never tell someone they are wrong.

If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

Begin in a friendly way.

Start with questions the other person will answer yes to.

Let the other person do the talking. 112013 Nierenberg Consulting Group www.nierenberggroup.com

Let the other person feel the idea is his/hers.

Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.

Sympathize with the other person.

Appeal to noble motives.

Dramatize your ideas.

Throw down a challenge.


Getting People to Your Point of View

• Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

• Call attention to other people's mistakes indirectly.

• Talk about your own mistakes first.

• Ask questions instead of directly giving orders.

• Let the other person save face.

• Praise every improvement.

• Give them a fine reputation to live up to.

• Encourage them by making their faults seem easy to correct.

• Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.


Session Summary


• COMMUNICATE with Confidence; CONCENTRATE

• RELATE to the other person; RAPPORT to RELATIONSHIP

• Focus on the other ‘YOU’

• SMILE, Stay flexible

• TALK less, listen more

• ASK open-ended high gain questions; ATTITUDE is everything, Pay ATTENTION

• LISTEN to words, thoughts, and emotions behind the message

• CLEAR Communication and Conversation

• RESEARCH, REFLECT

• UNDERSTAND

• INVOLVE the other person.

• STAY aware

• Know when to EXIT and END the conversation

Technology

Be the captain of your table -Communicating Effectively