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Power: dictionary definition
“the ability to do something or act in a particular way, especially as a faculty or quality”“the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events”
Personal Power: Wright definition
“Personal power is the unique power that manifests as a person becomes more authentic himself or herself”
Personal Power: Wright definition
Personal power:❖ is not a force❖ it is not a positional power
It is the power that results from the authentic and genuine presencing of the emerging self in the moment.
Drama Triangle
Blocks to Personal Power
Drama Triangle: Roles
Persecutor
Rescuer
Victim
Blocks to Personal Power
Drama Triangle: Where can I find it ?
Blocks to Personal Power
Persecutor
Rescuer
Victim
relationshipsmarriagemoviesschoolfamilywork
Drama Triangle: in social interactions
Victim
Persecutor
Rescuer
Blocks to Personal Power
Drama Triangle: Belief System
watch your character for it becomes your destiny.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson
Watch your thoughts for they become words,
watch your words for they become actions,
watch your actions, for they become habits,
watch your habits for they become your character,
Drama Triangle: Victims beliefs
PersecutorRescuer
Victim❖ “I am helpless”❖ “Circumstances have power over me”❖ Blames others❖ Absolves self, of responsibility❖ Didn’t see it coming.
Drama Triangle: Rescuer beliefs
Persecutor
Victim
Rescuer❖ “I am a fixer, savior”❖ Avoids own work & pain❖ Desires to feel good &
appreciated❖ Feels little, self-worth❖ “My needs are not
important!”❖ “You poor victims! Let me
help you to feel good about myself”
Drama Triangle: Persecutor beliefs
Rescuer
Victim
Persecutor❖ Feels justified, in blaming and
shaming others❖ Holds others, entirely
responsible for every situation❖ Numb their own pain, by
hiding behind a facade of pride and uncaring detachment
❖ Views world as a harsh and unforgiving place
❖ “I am always right”❖ Like to bully others
Drama Triangle: Cost
Persecutor
Rescuer
Victim
❖ Stays dependent on others❖ Avoids learning to take responsibility❖ Constant complaining and whining
❖ Keeps victims stuck, prevents their growth
❖ Ignores own work❖ Seeking victims to
rescue❖ Often feels taken
advantage of and bitter as a result
❖ Feels lonely, looks for connection
❖ Inability to change❖ Dissatisfied with
others
Assignment : Drama Alert!❖ Turn on the drama tracker for Drama Alert !
❖ Identify and write down roles you and others play in relationships❖ Actively track the role you are playing when interacting with others:
➢ Victim➢ Persecuter➢ Rescuer
❖ Consciously identify and record your feelings each hour:➢ Fear➢ Hurt➢ Anger➢ Sadness➢ Joy
Fixed vs Growth mindset Carol Dweck, Professor of Psychology at Stanford
Fixed vs Growth mindset (continued)
Core Mistaken Beliefs: about MySelf
I’m❖ not enough❖ too much❖ no good❖ not good enough❖ insignificant❖ not OK as I am❖ not lovable❖ not worthy❖ not OK❖ alone and on my own❖ a burden
❖ I have to earn love❖ There’s something wrong with me❖ My feelings are bad❖ My needs are bad❖ I don’t matter
PersonalPOWER
Zappers
Core Mistaken Beliefs: about World
There aren’t enough:❖ resources❖ time❖ money
❖ The world is hostile❖ The world is out to get❖ The world is dangerous❖ People want the worst for me❖ There isn’t enough love to go around
Power blocker: BSJ
Blame Shame
Justification
What’s next ?
Learn about:
★ Types of personal power★ Blocks to personal power
○ Stinking thinking○ Blame, Shame, Justification
★ Individual coaching sessions
Saym Basheer@xerionsoft
References:● Wright Living. http://wrightliving.com● Wright Graduate University. http://wrightrad.edu● http://www.lynneforrest.com/articles/2008/06/the-faces-of-victim/● https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ear2psj1WNo● http://www.karpmandramatriangle.com/● https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ear2psj1WNo ● Disney’s Hercules● Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck● TED Talk: http://www.ted.com/talks/carol_dweck_the_power_of_believing_that_you_can_improve● Matrix movie
