Introductions · 2020-02-04 · The Drama Triangle • Persecutor: criticizes, finds mistakes, ”attacks” • Rescuer: over-helps; makes (lets) others be dependent on him/her,

Introductions

copyright 2020, Developmental Associates, all rights reserved

Table Groups:1. Introduce yourselves2. Identify one thing you would

like to get out of this workshop

ACTIVITY: Most effective leader

Objectives1. Understand the different El skills and how they predict

success.

2. Understand your strengths to leverage and skills that need development.

3. Practice development of at least 7 El Skills.

4. Apply El Skills to Workplace Scenarios.

5. Commit to 1-2 changes that will improve your El.



WHAT IS EMOTIONAL

INTELLIGENCE?

IQ EI

IQ vs EI


The ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.

• Evaluate data effectively• Develop effective plans• Understands and evaluates

complicated information• Understand what they don’t know• Curious and want to learn

• Interview with Goleman

The ability to recognize, understand and manage own emotions and recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others.• Trust building behavior• Controls emotions rather than being controlled

by them • Assertive, tactful, diplomatic• Effective communicator• Self-aware• Establishes effective personal relationships• Listens and responds to people’s concerns• Composed under pressure

IQ EI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTmPyhfY7FQ

I’m Smart…isn’t that enough?


YOU?

Intellectually Smart

And

Emotionally Smart

High Emotional Intelligence

Correlates with Positive

Outcomes

Emotional Intelligence

Function Effectively in Career

Positive Job Performance

Mental and Physical Health

Interpersonal Drama

Cooperative with others

Open to NewExperiences

Manage and Cope with Stress

Rash Decisions

AMYGDALA HIJACKINGStrong emotions registered in the limbic system must be dealt with by the rational brain Otherwise, an Amygdala “hijack” can occur.

• Freeze (cannot think straight, cannot take helpful action)

• Flee (avoid, withdraw, leave)• Fight (argue, blow up, lose control)

To reverse a hijack, engage in a cognitve task that re-engages the rational brain

To avoid hijacks (e.g., Sully Sullenberg), we must PRACTICE a calm response


How many emotions does a typical person experience each day?A. 10B. 35C. 100D. Over 300

Paul Eckman Atlas of Emotions–

http://atlasofemotions.org/

Healthcare and Leadership Research: A

Few Highlights


Return on Investment and EI


United States Air Force

• 50% of recruiters turned over within a year

• Most successful recruiters identified by EI characteristics; new recruiters then selected based on successful EI profile

• USAF saves $3 million annually (1992 DOLLARS) using EI tool to select recruiters

• Turnover reduced by 90%!as cited in Stein & Book, The EQ Edge, 2011


Center for Creative Leadership

Purpose:To evaluate key EI characteristics that define high performing leaders (agents).

Results:Evaluated 302 leaders and senior managers, some successful and others who were struggling as rated by VPs. Participants were tested for EI. High performers consistently scored higher in most EI characteristics.

Nursing Success (Codier, 2010)• Nurses wrote stories about encounters with patients (not given

instructions to include El skills); stories evaluated nurses’• Professionalism• Performance• Nursing “Intuition”

• Higher professionalism positively correlated with emotional self-awareness, empathy, social responsibility, interpersonal relationships, problem solving and stress tolerance

• Higher performance positively correlated with empathy, social responsibility, interpersonal relationships, problem solving and stress tolerance

• Presence of intuition in stories rated yes-no by nursing experts; Intuition positively correlated with empathy, interpersonal relationships, and emotional self-awareness

Health Care Professional Success & EI• Talarico et al. (2012) – anesthesiology residents showed higher

performance with higher El

• Beauvais et al. (2010) – El correlated with measures of better nursing performance

• During clinical placements undergrads with higher El (Lewis, Neville & Ashkanasy, 2017) also • Buffered stress better

• Had reduced anxiety about end-of-life care

• Were better communication

• Were higher performers

El, Retention, and Job Satisfaction• Michelangelo (2015) – nurses with higher El performed better

and had higher job satisfaction and retention

• Higher patient satisfaction with doctors correlated with the doctor’s level of happiness (Wagner and colleagues, 2002)

• Hong and Lee (2016) – higher El is associated with• Lower emotional labor

• Less job stress

• Less turnover intention


Your Current EI Skills

THE EQi 2.0 ASSESSMENT


Total El, 5 Composite Areas, 16 Scales• Mean = 100• Sd = 15

Score Ranges• High = 110 and above• Middle = 90 – 109• Low 89 and below

Out-of-Balance: Scores that differ by 10 more points; negative consequences

Choosing What Areas of EI to Improve

When you are deciding where to focus your energies for improvement, consider the following factors:

• If Emotional Self-Awareness is lower than other skills• Lower primary skills that impact Wellbeing – Self-Regard, Self-

Actualization, Interpersonal Relationships, Optimism• EI skills that you know from experience you need to develop• El skills that are required in your job

Self-Perception

Self-Perception Subscales


•Self-Regard – inner strength and confidence; knowing and being okay with your strengths and limitations

•Self-Actualization – goal oriented; continuous development of self and “pursuit of meaning”

•Emotional Self-Awareness – understanding my emotions, understanding the triggers for my emotions, AND understanding the impact of my emotions on others.

Self-Regard


LOWER SCORES

• May be too hard on self• Blames others for failures• May not make good use of

abilities due to a lack of confidence

• May get others to do work for him/her

• May brag or appear cocky

HIGHER SCORES• Feels good about self and

understands and accepts both strengths and weaknesses

• Accepts responsibility for failures and recognizes success

• Enters unfamiliar situations with confidence

• Will delegate, apologize and share credit

• Does NOT brag

Self-Actualization


LOWER SCORES

• May be burned out or lack passion for work

• Avoids challenging goals• May do just enough to get by

or meet basic job responsibilities

HIGHER SCORES

• Sets high goals that go beyond job responsibilities

• Enjoys work; has passion for it• Strives for self-improvement,

learning and growth• ACTIVITY

Emotional Self-Awareness…


Accurately understanding your emotions , understanding the triggers for your emotions, AND understanding the impact of your emotions on others.

• EI starts here• You cannot manage emotions you are not aware of or mislabel• “Leaders” set the emotional tone for the group or interaction

To improve your Emotional Self-Awareness1. Mood meter app – researchers at Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence

– designed to help users identify their current disposition and reasons for it.

2. Know your triggers! (Hot buttons)

Not Anger or Frustration But…Anger and frustration are often NOT your root or primary emotion!

Instead, consider these ROOT emotions

1) Sadness

2) Fear/Anxiety/Worry

3) Hurt/Embarrassed

4) Contempt/Disgust

Example: A student who is worried about his/her grade may present as angry by 1) complaining about the professor, 2) criticizing the need for the course, or 3) acting inappropriately in class or with the professor (e.g., answering texts in class, challenging the professor in a harsh way, etc.)

Recommended Book: It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle

Emotional Self-Awareness:What Are Your Triggers “Hot Buttons”?

Think about your “hot buttons” and answer the questions on the ACTIVITY sheet.Strategies for getting “UNHIJACKED”1. Do a cognitive task (e.g., name all of the US

capitals, count backwards by 100, do other work that demands your attention!)

2. Withdraw until you calm down; take NO action!

The Drama Triangle

• Persecutor: criticizes, finds mistakes, ”attacks”• Rescuer: over-helps; makes (lets) others be

dependent on him/her, hurts others’ confidence• Victim: blames others; helpless -- wants others to

fix things, “woe is me”DISCUSSION: What emotions cause you to go into each role? What people elicit different reactions from you? Tip: Skills you will learn later will help you avoid the Drama Triangle!

Self-Expression

Self-Expression Subscales


•Emotional Expression –constructively saying how you feel; congruence with non-verbal expression; helps others to understand you better & motivates them to collaborate

•Assertiveness –standing up for yourself effectively; stating opinions; setting boundaries; helps with addressing conflict

•Independence – standing on your own two feet; not needing reassurance to make a tough decision

•UNC campus police example

Practice Assertiveness! “I” Messages

• ”I”

• Insert emotion word

• Describe what happened in factual, neutral ways

• Describe the impact on you

I was embarrassed when you pointed out my mistake in front of the whole group and it makes me tentative to participate when you are around.

I’m concerned that our group project will not be completed well or on time because you have cancelled our last 3 meetings. I need to meet with you tomorrow or will be forced to involve the professor.

COMPLETE THE WORKSHEET!

Patch Adams I want to leave

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKl8s0EO5T4

Interpersonal

Interpersonal Subscales


•Interpersonal Relationships –developing and maintaining good relationships; result is trust

•Empathy - recognizing and appreciating how others feel; understanding their views

•Social Responsibility - contributing to society or the team without expecting recognition; doing your fair share

•Penny's stuck key

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoHJbSfgyYk&feature=player_detailpage

Don’t be Sheldon! Tune in and CareIncreasing Empathy:

• Ask open-ended neutral questions to learn more!

• Summarize what you have heard the person say and his/her emotion to ensure you understand

• Challenge negative assumptions (e.g., person who is late for work is lazy, doesn’t care, etc.)

Increasing Empathy -Give ‘em a Break

•Reappraise – what are situational factors that could have contributed to a behavior? •Remind yourself of a time

when you felt strongly, were worried or made a similar mistake•Have some humility

Decision Making

Emotions and Decision-Making


Decision Making Subscales


•Problem Solving - understanding how emotions impact decision making; using a systematic process despite strong emotion

•Agitators – act too quickly because of strong emotions; lack careful analysis

•Avoiders – strong emotions (e.g., fear) keep them from addressing problems

•Reality Testing - seeking facts and information; responding objectively to such rather than letting personal bias, fears or hopes impact objectivity

•Impulse Control - resist or delay an impulse; remain patient; delay gratification

• Marshmallow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX_oy9614HQ

Not So Good Impulse Control


Good Impulse Control or Poor Reality Testing?


Increasing Reality Testing & Problem SolvingReality Testing

1. What information is relevant to this decision?

2. How much information do I need to make the decision?

3. What emotions do I have about the relevant information or the decision that may lead to bias or a less effective decision?

Problem Solving

1. What is the surface issue? What is the root or source of the problem?

2. Who do I need to include?

3. Do I tend to be a. An agitated problem solver? My

emotions drive me to take quicker action and not use an effective problem solver

b. An avoider? My emotions of concern, sadness, etc. are so strong that I avoid addressing the problem


Stress Management

Stress Management


•Flexibility - adapting emotions and actions as needed to changing situations

•Stress Tolerance - ability to withstand stress without falling apart

•Optimism - remaining hopeful and resilient despite setbacks; positive and persistent!

Stress Management


LOWER SCORES• Struggles when faced with change -

Flexibility• May often feel anxious or stressed – Stress

Tolerance• Has difficulty with focus, attention or

fatigues – Stress Tolerance • May be rooted in tradition; resistant to

change - Flexibility• Pessimistic about the future - Optimism• Gives up easily when adversity hits -

Optimism

HIGHER SCORES• Calm and works well under pressure

– Stress Tolerance• Resilient; draws from multiple coping

strategies - Optimism• Optimistic about the future -

Optimism• Copes well with the emotions

associated with change and stress -Flexibility

• Adaptive; views change as a positive thing - Flexibility

Feeling resilient n the face of adversity and armed with an arsenal of coping strategies heightens feelings of self-security, confidence and a deeper understanding of oneself and one’s strengths.

Increasing Stress ToleranceReduce Your Reactivity!

1. 10-10-10: How important will _____ be (whatever is stressing you) in 10 hours, 10 days, 10 weeks, 10 months or 10 years? Make sure your level of reactivity matches your answer!

2. Use your Reality Testing – What is the likely outcome? (rather than imagining the worst).

Pursuit of Happyness Intern Interview

Use Available Resources to Cope

1. Time - for example, can you reduce an hour meeting to 30 minutes?

2. Other people – can someone help you?

3. Money – can I allocate budget dollars to help with this?

4. Planning ahead – what can I do to avoid this stressor or to ensure I react better if it occurs


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHXKitKAT1E

General Well-Being

General Well Being


• HAPPINESS (this subscale does NOT factor into total EI score)

• Satisfaction with life

• Enjoy the company of others

• Pleasant to be with

• Happiness related to

• Self-actualization

• Self-regard

• Interpersonal Relations

• Optimism

Happiness Strategies1. Remember whence you came – be

nostalgic, put up pictures of happy times, sentimental objects

2. Don’t dwell – mulling over past failures is good if you are looking for insights, but don’t ruminate – can lead to a downward spiral of emotions.

3. Spread the wealth – giving away money makes you happier than spending it, pick up a cup of coffee for a colleague, or a treat, tip generously

4. Eat a snack around 2 pm – that’s when levels of serotonin, brain chemical that regulates mood can take a nosedive. Choose one that contains mind-boosting nutritional powerhouses, like B vitamins and complex carbohydrates

5. Get a move on – high intensity exercise 3Xs for 30 minutes can provide the same benefits as some of the most powerful medications

6. Limit your options

• Considering everything that is available can be overwhelming – stressful and anxiety producing

• Quickly try to whittle your way to a few options , then make a choice and move on

7. Do something that occupies 100% of your attention while you are engaged in it

• Sports, social club, hiking

• Activities that you engage in for their own sake rather than an outside reason

8. Make your bed

• People are happier when everyday tasks in their lives are completed

Choosing What Areas of EI to Improve

Application: Review Scenarios!

• Choose an El skill you want to improve.

• Develop 2-3 specific strategies to improve that skill.

• Report the skill now to your partner.

• Check in with each other in 2-3 weeks about progress.

QUESTIONS?


For more information contact [email protected]

“There is within the human heart a quality of intelligence which has been known to surpass that attributed to the human mind.”― Aberjhani, Splendid Literarium: A Treasury of Stories, Aphorisms,

mailto:[email protected]

http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/237360.Aberjhani

http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/44151722

Documents

Introductions · 2020-02-04 · The Drama Triangle • Persecutor: criticizes, finds mistakes, ”attacks” • Rescuer: over-helps; makes (lets) others be dependent on him/her,