Effective Presentations - handout

Effective Communication

in Meetings & Business Presentations

Effective Business Meetings & Business Presentations

Nov 2013 2

Learning Through Various Means

Learning Is About Developing Competences

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edilmektedir


Nov 2013 3

Pre-and-Post-Test - Instructions: Please circle the number that best represents your viewpoint.

1. My knowledge level of what Coaching is and is not is: Low 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 High 2. My skill at connecting well and at Establishing Rapport with Managers in my Ministry is: Low 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 High 3. My skill with Active Listening is: Low 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 High 4. My skill with Effective Questioning is: Low 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 High 5. My skill at assisting others with Problem-Solving steps is: Low 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 High 6. My skill at spotting signs of Resistance to Change is Low 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 High 7. My skill at Structuring a conversation within a set amount of time is: Low 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 High 8. My skill at providing Effective Presentations in front of management is: Low 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 High 9. My skill at conducting Effective Meetings is: Low 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 High 10. My motivation to be a Strategic Management Facilitator is Low 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 High

Optional 11. What is your age? ____ 12. What is your name? ___________________________ 13. What is your gender? F M 14. What is your highest level of education?


Nov 2013 4

Before Training – Assess The Person

What is the preferred mode of operation of the student? – the TMI type

How you relate to the world and recharge

your batteries

How you see reality What information you

take in

How you make decisions

How you organise the world around you

Introvert Extravert Practical Creative Analytical Thinker

Beliefs & Emotions

Structured Flexible

What is the student’s learning style?

ACTIVIST REFLECTOR THEORIST PRAGMATIST

Activists involve themselves fully in new experiences.

• They like new problems and opportunities from which to learn.

• They engross themselves in short “here and now” activities.

• They have a lot of limelight and high visibility.

Reflectors like to ponder experiences and observe.

• They watch, think and chew over activities.

• They think before acting and to assimilate before commenting.

• They review what has happened and what they have learned.

• They reach a decision in their own time without pressure and tight deadlines

Theorists integrate observations into logical sound theories.

• They explore methodically the associations and inter-relationships between ideas, events and situations.

• They set structured situations with clear purposes.

• They question and probe basic methodology, assumptions or logic behind something.

• They like being intellectually stretched.

•

Pragmatists are keen on trying out new ideas and see if they work in practice.

• There see the link between the subject matter and problem or opportunity on the job.

• They need techniques for doing things with obvious advantages currently applicable to their jobs.

• They concentrate on practical issues.



edilmektedir Assessing the individual

Grumpy Expert

I can do it

but I don’t WANT to

EXPERT I am able, eager

and willing

OK if I do OK if I don’t

I could do it but I don’t see WHY

Can’t Do Won’t Do

Eager Novice I want to do it

but I don’t know HOW

Will

Ski

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Nov 2013 5

After The Training, Evaluate The Results



edilmektedir Assessing blocking factors

29

Awareness Do they know that they need to change?

Desire Do they want to change? What is in it for them?

What are the consequences for them of not changing?

Knowledge Do they have the required knowledge? How can they acquire tit?

Ability Are they able to apply skills and knowledge?

Is coaching/support required?

Reinforcement What happens when they do (or do not) display required

behaviour or way of working?

Is there positive reinforcement when they do?

Are there negative consequences when they do not


Nov 2013 6

What Type Of Relationship Do You Want?

The Elevator Pitch About YOU

I am… from…

I am responsible for… I report to…

I stand for … (working together – being aligned) About WHAT YOU WANT THE PERSON TO REMEMBER

My mission is…

This is how I do it…

The result will be



edilmektedir Conversational Transactions

29 October 2013 51


Nov 2013 7

The Telephone Pitch

Be upbeat: No one likes to talk to a dull voice.

Have a concise agenda and stick to it: Get to the point simply and quickly so that the person on the other end of the line is immediately sure why you are calling and what you need from them

Soothe yourself: Drink a hot beverage first. You do not want to feel or sound hoarse

Make sure you can be heard: Keep distractions to a minimum by using a landline and make sure there is no interference

Don’t speak too quickly: Take a deep breath before making a phone call. Be aware of the pace of your speech.

Listen more than you talk: Defer attention to the person rather than talk about yourself

Make sure there are no distractions: Be sure to keep background noise to a minimum by closing your door

About YOU

I am… from…

I am responsible for…

I promise… I value… (working together – being aligned) About WHAT YOU WANT

The purpose of my call is…

I / we have a problem & I would like to offer a solution

I would like you to… / I need from you…


Nov 2013 8

Introducing Yourself in Any Situation • Who are you? Name - reporting line - dpt – what you are responsible for

• What is the purpose of your call/ intervention? What is the reason of your call/meeting/intervention – say it upfront

• What is your objective? To move the relationship forward

• What do you promise? What’s in it for them? Satisfaction – Profits – Benefits - Convenience – better ROI

• What do you want the person to do concretely? Call for action Remember:

• How do you want the person to feel afterwards? Good – connected to you – concerned - engaged

• What do you want the person to remember afterwards? Why they should work with you


Nov 2013 9

To Be Influential….

• Make your plea relevant to the audience

• Find a common point with the other party

• Pay attention to the clues and cues people give you

• Identify people’s sensibilities and primary mode of operation (logical, detailed oriented…)

• Appeal to people’s emotions

• Refrain from presenting your needs as unique or more important that others’

• Find out what moves the other party

• Make sure that your body language is in sync with what you say

• Adopt a body language and an affect of engagement

• Tap into what you already know (how do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?)

• Be clear, precise, to the point

• Be convinced of your point of view so as to be credible

• Only use arguments that are relevant

• Do not compete with your opponents: make a case for yourself

• Speak a language people can understand

• Know what you want, not just what you don’t want

• Be persistent

• Identify and listen to potential clients before moving to persuade and convert them.


Nov 2013 10

Influencing Tips • Talk less, listen more People are less likely to resist when you show them that you understand their concerns. Listen to their

feelings, worries and make sure your solutions include them

• Make them like you – Be charming It is hard to say NO to someone you like. We tend to like people who share our background and

interests, so play up similarities. Flattery works – be sincere.

• Do a favour Doing something for someone gives you influence. Everyone understands the need to repay later what

another person has given them (ex: win-win – giving free candies with the bill in restaurants)

• Adjust your heart beat to theirs To be influential with someone, you need to be on the same wavelength, in sync, aligned,

connected. Mimicking & mirroring are important techniques of engagement. Only when your hearts beat as one, can you truly negotiate a win-win solution.

• Promise satisfaction No matter how tense the conversation, promise that something good will come out of it for all

involved.

• Be clear of what you want – ask for it Many people are willing to comply but they don’t know exactly what they should do… Tell them. Making comments, giving hints or hoping that people will read between the lines is

counterproductive.

• Always give the person a choice People are more likely to agree with you when they have the option of saying NO. The more freedom

you give people after you explained what you expect of them, the more they will submit to your will. Resistance often comes from the lack of choice.

• Call for action Plan for the next step.

• Always thank the person for their cooperation, time, attention, etc. Make the person feel good about themselves. They might not remember what you said but they will

remember how they felt.


Nov 2013 11

Offer Counter Arguments – Don’t dilute your point of view

- May I offer another point of view?

- May I play the devil’s advocate?

- May I bounce another idea off you?

- May I counter your argument?

- One hand this, one the other hand that

- Some people think that A, other think B. I would like to defend C (The rule of 3)

- I believe differently and I would like to explain why

- I have a different view on the topic; may I explain it?


Nov 2013 12

Before A Presentation – Do An Assessment Of The Situation Who?

Who wants me to speak?

Who is my client? Do I know exactly what my client wants?

Who is the audience? Who will I speak to?

What is their level of expertise?

In which stage of change are they? What will I talk about? Strategic Management – what exactly? What skills are you going to develop? Pre and post training testing Why?

To inspire – Raise Awareness: Do they know that they need to change?

To increase a Desire to change: What are the consequences for them of not changing?

To provide Knowledge: How much of the required knowledge do they have? How can they acquire it?

To increase Ability: Are they able to apply skills and knowledge? Is coaching/support required? What are the blocking & enabling factors?

To Reinforce: What happens when they do (or do not) display required behaviour/way of working? How can we provide positive reinforcement when they do? How can we increase negative consequences when they do not?

How?

One to one session

Staff meeting

Formal presentation

Group meeting

Lunch

Informal conversation? When? Pick the best appropriate time, given the context of the organisation Who can help? Are you making full use of the resources available to you? Mavens Colleagues from this group SDUs Connectors Teammates from sub groups Your manager Salespeople Technical Working Team A colleague from a different


Nov 2013 13

Stages Of Change ( Prochaska and DiClemente)

Attitude Influencing

Stage I.

PRE-CONTEMPLATION

No problem No need to make a change. No need to improve Happy with Status Quo

Raise doubt and provide information to increase employee's perception of losing opportunities and risk if maintaining Status Quo.

INFORM RAISE AWARENESS

Stage II.

CONTEMPLATION

Considers change & rejects it. Realizes the need for growth and improvement. Realizes the resources available and not tapped into

Tip the balance – -evoke questions about change- -risks of not changing; -strengthen the employee's resolve -doubt the self-efficacy if working the old way, alone, but no action yet.

ACKNOWLEDGE THE AMBIVALENCE

Stage III.

DETERMINATION

Window of opportunity When an employee considers change and slowly develops a commitment to it.

Help employee determine the best course of action to start being part of the change Plan, strategize, prepare Remove obstacles

SOLVE PROBLEMS

Stage IV.

ACTION

The employee is functioning Change is taking place. Employees need to solve problems and to implement the solution or plan.

Help employee take steps towards change and take action to meet higher expectations.

SET GOALS ACHIEVE GOALS

Stage V.

MAINTENANCE

Develops new behaviours to maintain the recent changes, look at the solutions that have been adopted, and continue to support growth.

Identify and use strategies to maintain the change and prevent a break up or regression to old patterns

FOLLOW UP


Nov 2013 14

Assess The Occasion Where will I speak and at what date and time? Get exact directions and if you are unfamiliar with the location do a test run at approximately the time of day you will speak. Check out actual travel time. Also, BE SURE to get a telephone number of a reliable contact person (for early notice) and a number for a phone in the facility (for last minute notice) should you be unavoidably detained. What is the physical layout of the space in which I will speak? Is it an auditorium with fixed seating, a large meeting hall with moveable chairs and tables, or a casual meeting room? Will you be allowed to arrange the room to your own style? (A "circle" suggesting equal participants and an interactive meeting, straight lines of chairs suggesting an informational style presentation etc.) What are the logistics of presenting? Will you have a blackboard, an overhead projector for illustrations, and other means of using visual aids? Will you be speaking in a room in which there is no needs to amplify the speaker’s voice or will you have a microphone and public address system? Will you have a lectern on which to place your notes? Will audience members have tables at which to write? Will your speech be tape recorded or videotaped? Will I be the only speaker or part of a program? Will there be a meeting before your presentation or will you have the entire time? How much time has been set-aside for you? Does your time include a question and answer period or will that be additional? If you will be speaking after dinner, see what steps are being taken to avoid kitchen or wait staff noises. If you will be part of a program of speakers, where in the pecking order is your slot? (Last speeches tend to be more difficult because audiences might be bored or antsy.) You might want to suggest a 'seventh inning stretch' or be more humorous or outrageous to hold members' attention. Who will be my contact person and/or helper whom I can rely for help should I need it? If you don't know him or her, write the name of this person on the front of your speaking file for easy access. You may want to contact the person ahead of time for suggestions and a convenient meeting. If your topic will be a controversial one you will want to know what that person will do to assist you should there be hecklers or situations, which you deem 'out of control.' The helper should help you to distribute handouts if you bring them and get you water or anything else you may need. In case the person forgets his/her role it may be prudent for you to say, "Thank you in advance for helping me, this is what I will need…" Will I be introduced? By who? Always carry a 3x5 card with minimum information, such as name, job title (if relevant,) and affiliations (if relevant.) Its best to avoid university degrees, published papers, and other honoraria, unless you're speaking to a group of scholars. Make it short, sweet, even humorous if you'd like and have it on hand to give to an unprepared MC.


Nov 2013 15

How am I going to present myself? DO NOT EVER SAY, "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know why I was picked to speak tonight, I'm not really an expert in the field, but I'll do my best to enlighten you about some things…” "Ladies and gentlemen, I didn't really have time to prepare for this speech but I thought of a few things…” "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm not a public speaker, I have no oratory skills, but…” Many speakers start their speech by apologizing, or by down playing their skills or ability to speak. By doing so, in one sentence they diminish their credibility, tell the audience they are not worth much, and/or tell them they didn't care enough about the audience to prepare for the presentation. Why would anyone be motivated to give that speaker his or her undivided attention? Do I have a text copy of my speech? Are you are speaking from a written text or an outline with bullet points?


Nov 2013 16

Determine Your General Purpose Who asked me to do this presentation? What do they want out of this presentation? Why am I making this presentation as opposed to someone else? What do I want to accomplish by making this presentation? Do people know who I am and what my job function is? Why should people want to hear me? Am I an expert in this area? Do I really have something to say? Do I believe in what I am going to say? Do I believe that what I am about to say is of interest to the people who are in the audience? TIPS: Do Not Assume That: people know who you are and why you are making this presentation. they know why they are attending the presentation they are on your side they understand your purpose they are interested the topic is relevant to them they are in the right room Always ask yourself: Is any other possible answer (to the above questions) than the obvious?


Nov 2013 17

Analyse Your Audience How many persons will be in attendance? (The answer may dictate special needs, such as whether you will need a microphone) What time of day is my presentation? (Attention spans may vary at different times of the day) How will that affect the interest of the audience for the topic? Will my audience be a highly specialized one? (If so, you may choose to use language or terminology specific to that group) How much does my audience already know about this topic? What can I tell them about this topic that they do not already know? Will this topic interest some audience members more than others? What can I expect the attitude of the audience to be toward my subject? Does the audience know about my views? If I take a stand on this issue, will my audience agree with me? If they do not agree, what interest or needs do they have that I might use to change their minds? What is the average age of the audience? What is their gender? What are their occupations? What is their socio-economical status? What is their education level? What is the cultural background or makeup of the group?


Nov 2013 18

TIPS: If you don’t know the make up of the group, ask people to stand or give a show of hands in order to identify themselves. “How many physicians do we have? How many nurses? How many technicians, any social administrators?”

If you expect resistance, bring up the opposition’s point of view right away.

“Many of you probably think that….and I respect that. I have a different point of view and I would like to explain it to you. “

Ask people to list the misconceptions others might have about your point.

“How can we address those misconceptions…”

When there is a discrepancy between people who are already well informed and people who are not, ask the experts to explain briefly the notions you don’t want to repeat; this will engage them.

“Let’s imagine we are a group of aliens, could you briefly summarize XYZ for us”

Speak to both sides. Express both points of view. Speak to the Democrats as well as to the Republicans.

“On one hand…. On the other hand….”

When someone disagrees, acknowledge this person and ask others in the audience to respond.

“It’s a valid point of view… would anyone care to respond?” The worst audience is not an audience that disagrees, but an audience that is asleep. People who challenge your views or opinions are attentive and thinking. Utilize this energy in the room to make your presentation more powerful.


Nov 2013 19

Focus on Your Specific Purpose The specific purpose statement is a single declarative sentence in which you state as clearly as you can exactly what you want your listeners to know, believe, think, or do by the time your presentation is over. If you had to make a presentation to introduce your department and it’s services to an internal client, what would be your specific purpose statement for this presentation? Scenario: Sarah is a Manager at ACME Corporation. She has been asked to give a presentation to the Senior Mangers and the Director of her Department to explain the numerous errors that are occurring in her area. Sarah believes that the errors are unavoidable given the current software that the Department is using to track orders. Sarah has researched another software package that she thinks will resolve the errors. What could Sarah’s purpose sentence be for this presentation? Be clear, concise, to the point. Don’t’ assume that people know why they are attending this presentation Some examples are: 1. To inform my local parent association about potentially dangerous traffic conditions near the school and suggest a course of action. 2. To alert the staff of my hospital about a change in hospital policy regarding emergency patients and be certain they understand the importance of following policy. 3. To commend Bill Watson on 35 years of company service by tracing the changes that occurred in that time, thereby also raising worker morale and loyalty. 4. To inform a student and parent group about the opportunities for scholarships awarded by a private company 5. To persuade a community group to challenge the proposed legislation which would eliminate payments to families for the second or more children born. 6. To commend the students who participated, the benefactors who funded prizes, and the volunteers who worked to make this year Art competition possible. 7. To persuade members of my department that more transparency in the money allocation practices will ensure more customer satisfaction and make their jobs easier, on the long term.


Nov 2013 20

Research Your Topic

Be accurate when using numbers or statistics Use the exact name of the person whose quote you are using Give credit to proper people for their work Learn about the opposite view of your argument Be up to date with the latest trends in your industry Fact: is an event or truth that is known to exist or has been observed (strongest for backing accuracy of statements) Statistics: collections of facts stated in numerical terms (used to present facts in percentages, rank order, or averages) Testimony: is the quoting or restating of another person’s opinion to support a point. Narrative: is supporting material in the form of a story, either real or imaginary. (Often used to help make a point that has or will be supported by facts or statistics) Examples: are specific instances or occurrences of a situation or principle you are attempting to describe Humour: Used at the beginning of a speech humour makes speaker and audience comfortable. It relays the message to your audience: 'listen up! This will not be a dry boring presentation.' Used in the midst of speeches it eases tensions or 'fact overload' and gives audience members a reason to get a little verbal ("ha-ha") and a little physical (who can laugh without shoulder shrugs and a stretch if needed.) Be careful. Should your audience come to think of you as a comic, a funny-man, you loose your ability to do the job you were asked to do---relay information in a credible, responsible way. The humour you use should be 'politically correct' and not offensive to ANYONE! Keep subjects such as religion, politics, marriage, and ethnic/cultural references out of your humour. Stay away from self-deprecating humour. You want to increase your standing with the audience, not plant the seeds for questions! Quotes: Choosing a quote to integrate into your speech is much like choosing humour. It needs to be audience appropriate and topic appropriate. Use a book on quotes. The person you quote could be well known to your group. For the general audience, Eleanor Roosevelt or Mae West may have said interesting things on many topics. However, for young adults choose quotes from current political figures (as gleaned from newspapers,) perhaps the lyrics to current popular songs, or paraphrase a commercial. It is important that the quote makes sense to the audience and that it be an observation upon which you'd like to expound. Anecdotes and Stories. These should be personal, if possible. If not, keep your senses alert for stories that are topic related. You might find these on the evening news, in a magazine article, or in your day-to-day life. Use Parable Speech to make a dry topic more lively and relevant to the audience. Help people visualize a situation. Give names to the characters you describe.


Nov 2013 21

Set a Structure and Draw an Outline

THE OPENING The opening of a presentation should do three things: Grab Attention Research shows that most people form an opinion about someone in the first 30 seconds of contact. The first few minutes of a presentation are critical. Start with a flash. Command people’s attention. Tell Them Where You Are Going Secondly, your opening should tell the audience what you are going to talk about. No one likes sitting in a room not knowing what is going to happen. People like to have signposts that say, “This is where we are heading”. By reviewing what you are going to talk about, you can draw your audience into the subject and create a sense of anticipation. Sell Them Thirdly, your opening should sell the audience on why they should listen. It should tell them what is in it for them in order to establish relevance. The following are some suggestions for opening a presentation: Simply state the purpose of your presentation. Make a strong controversial statement and then clarify it. Define a problem for which the balance of your presentation will prescribe a solution. Ask a real question requiring a show of hands or an answer from the audience. Use a quotation, but not a common one or a cliché. Tell a story relevant to the audience to create empathy. Tell a joke. This is risky, but warms up the audience. Get the audience to do something such as stand up and engage in an exercise. This can be difficult to control, but it is an effective stimulant and icebreaker.

THE MAIN BODY It is important to structure your main body into sub-sections. A main body of 20 to 30 minutes should be comprised of three to five sections. These sections could be the three, four or five main points that you want to make. Breaking your main body into sections makes your job as a presenter easier. It is nearly impossible for any presenter to remember one long 20 or 30-minute dialogue. Breaking it into discrete parts enables you to remember only three of four minutes of your presentation at a time.


Nov 2013 22

When you finish each part, you can glance at your notes to remind yourself of the next point you want to discuss. Make sure your points are tied together and flow. Add interest or refresher points to recapture audience attention every four or five minutes. Plan a refresher between each section break, where you can tell a story, ask a question, or use a visual aid. Break your presentation into sub-sections because it is easier for people to understand and retain smaller chucks of information. The main structures commonly used for arranging materials and breaking them into key points are: Chronological: arranged in the order of occurrence. This is an ideal structure for describing a process. However, it does not necessarily cover your points in the order of importance. Spatial: presents points and ideas as they relate to one another. You can begin with the general and move to the specific. Another variation is the theory/practice model that presents the theory and then moves to discuss its implementation or vice versa. Logical: several patterns can be used in a logical sequence. Points may be discussed by region or area. You could present problems followed by their solutions, or cause and effect. Topical: also known as the qualitative structure. Deals with points in order of their significance. Points can be arranged in ascending or descending order of importance.

THE CONCLUSION A conclusion should do two important things. 1. Wrap-up The opening words and the conclusion are the most important part of any speech. Competent speakers memorize both. The conclusion of your speech should wrap up your ideas; inspire audience action/reaction, or promote your hopes for the future of an issue. 2. Call for Action Tell people specifically what you expect them TO DO as a result of your presentation You may want your audience to approve a proposal or to utilize new information in their operation.


Nov 2013 23

Worksheets: The outline of your speech

INTRODUCTION About the speaker: say a few words about your background: Humour or anecdote: Specific Purpose Statement:

THE MAIN BODY Key points: 1. 2. 3.

4. Key point 1: Facts: Anecdote or story: Quote:


Nov 2013 24

Key point 2: Facts: Anecdote or story: Quote: Key point 3: Facts: Anecdote or story: Quote: Key point 4: Facts: Anecdote or story: Quote:

THE CONCLUSION Summarize what you just covered YOUR CALL FOR ACTION - Your hope for audience reaction:


Nov 2013 25

` Write your Script and Notes People will not be reading your presentation but rather listening to an experiencing it. Don’t write, speak. Write your script the way you would talk. It should be clear, smooth and have a natural flow. Use shorter sentences. Longer sentences might cause you to stumble. You can be a little flexible about sentence structure and you do not need to strictly follow the rules of grammar.

Rehearse Your Presentation It is important to practice and rehearse your presentation out loud in full, the exact way you intend to deliver it, at least three times. You should also rehearse in front of others (colleagues, family or friends) and get some feedback. This will help you to get used to the flow of the presentation and it will allow you to estimate the timing. By practicing out loud you can discover those words or phrases that cause you trouble and which may need to be rewritten. You must hear how your presentation sounds, not just how it reads. Memorize the first two to three minutes of your opening to make a good start. Having your opening committed to memory will allow you to start strong and maintain confidence. This will make a positive first impression on your audience and allow them to capture their attention. It is usually best to transfer the contents of your presentation outline on to note cards. These note cards should contain the headings for each key point (bullet points) of your presentation with accompanying subheadings expressed in the form of single words or brief phrases. In addition to the key points, the note cards should contain all of the statistics, examples and quotations used in your presentation. Make sure to number the cards or even attach them to each other with a string.


Nov 2013 26

Voice Analysis Feedback As you listen to public speakers or to a taped version of your own speech, pay attention to the following points. Focus on the points that were done particularly well and those that could be improved. Pace the speed of delivery Volume the loudness of the voice Pausing hesitation or delay between words Tone the highness or lowness of voice Emphasis stress placed on a word or words Enunciation clarity of words (pronunciation) Filler Words avoidance of "hum," "uh," etc. Endings completion of each word Variation avoidance of monotone, boring intonation Enthusiasm liveliness of voice


Nov 2013 27

Tips For Using Positive Body Language Eye Contact: Don’t look at the floor or the ceiling during a conversation. You can use eye contact to seek feedback from your audience. Are they attentive and interested or distracted and bored? Look directly at the person to whom you are speaking. Maintain direct, extended eye contact without seeming intimidating. This is seen as sincere and direct. People tend to not trust a person who cannot look them “in the eye”. Look directly at one person for 5 seconds and then move to another person. Finish one sentence or thought while looking at one person. This engages people and personalizes the presentation. Too little eye contact is interpreted as impolite, uninterested or unconfident while too much eye contact can make people feel uncomfortable. Look at all the people in the room. Speak to everyone with equal attention, Do not just focus in on one person for your whole presentation, or on one gender, or on decision makers or the people with the most power or authority. Start by finding a friendly face in the audience and then move on. Posture: Confidence is transmitted when you stand up straight instead of slouching. Stand comfortably with weight evenly balanced. Feet slightly shoulder width apart and toes forward. Avoid fig leaf positions. Stand as close to your audience as possible. Walk around the room. Lean forward slightly, hold your head erect. Avoid excessive hand and arm gestures. However, use your body language to support your presentation. Gestures should be natural and represent what you are feeling and thinking at the moment. Your audience will appreciate sincerity verses rehearsed robotic gestures. Negative or closed gestures: Hands on the hips can be perceived as judgmental and authoritative. Hands in pockets indicate that you are nervous or complacent. Hands clasped behind you (reverse fig leaf or regal position) imply that you are hiding something, may cause distrust. May also be a symbol of nervousness. Hands clasped in front (fig leaf) convey tension. Crossed arms may portray you as defensive and unopened.


Nov 2013 28

Positive or open gestures: "At ease stance" (feet about shoulder width apart with toes pointed forward). Gestures should be appropriate and flowing, not quick and jerky. Vary your gestures so that you don’t bore the audience. Palms open show that you are non-threatening. Appear natural by matching your words, thoughts, and feelings to your gesture. Facial Expression: Be extremely aware of your facial expressions. Do your facial expressions convey a different meaning than what you are thinking or feeling? Or, are they conveying exactly what you are thinking or feeling (i.e. tiredness, boredom)? Always remember to smile at the audience. A good time to do this is when people are first coming into your session. Greet them with a smile. This will help relax you and help the audience warm up to you before your formal presentation. It is easier to give a presentation in front of a relaxed and inviting crowd rather than a cold and judgmental one. Avoid compulsive or nervous smiling or frowning. Make sure your expressions agree with the message and the content of what you are saying. Avoid creating your own non-verbal distractions-coin and key jangling, or chewing gum.


Nov 2013 29

Pay Attention To Non Verbal Communication Movement: Stride to the podium or your proper place in the room with assurance and eagerness. Take command. A purposeful stride with your head held up creates a good impression. Avoid swaying back and forth or “dancing” when you talk. Pacing is distracting however; showing a visual by moving back and forth may be warranted. Space: Be aware of the imaginary bubble that surrounds your interlocutor. Cultures determine the appropriate distance between the speaker and the interlocutor. Personal Space: 0-18 inches I Intimate Space: 18in - 4 feet Social Space: 4 -12 feet Public Space: beyond 12 feet Gestures: Mirror the person you are talking to. Mirror the gestures and the rhythm of speech. Synchronicity between both parties is engaging. Strive for natural movements, gestures, facial animation, and body expressions. Talking to one person at a time will promote this. Overcoming Speaking Anxiety in Meetings and Presentations According to research the fear of speaking in public is the #1 fear of all fears. The fear of dying is listed as #7. If you have a fear of speaking in public, you are most definitely NOT alone. Remember, no one has ever died from stage fright, although surveys indicate that many people would rather die than give a speech. The best way to deal with anxiety is to first acknowledge that this fear is perfectly normal.


Nov 2013 30

Reduction of Anxiety 10 STEPS TO REDUCE YOUR ANXIETY Know the room – Become familiar with the place in which you will speak. Arrive early and walk around the room including the speaker area. Stand at the lectern and speak into the microphone. Walk around where the audience will be seated. Walk from the place you will be seated to the place where you will be speaking. Know the audience – If possible, greet some of the audience members as they arrive and chat with them. It is easier to speak to a group of new friends than to a group of complete strangers. Know your material – If you are not familiar with your material or are uncomfortable with it, your nervousness will increase. Practice your presentation and revise it until you can present it with ease. Learn how to relax – You can ease tension by doing exercises. Sit comfortably with your back straight. Breathe in slowly, hold your breath for 4 or 5 seconds, then slowly exhale. To relax your facial muscles, open your mouth and eyes wide, then close them tightly. Visualize yourself speaking – Imagine yourself walking confidently to the lectern as the audience applauds. Imagine yourself speaking, your voice loud, clear and assured. When you visualize yourself as successful, you will be successful. Realize that people want you to succeed – All audiences want speakers to be interesting, stimulating, informative and entertaining. They want you to succeed – not fail. Don’t apologize for being nervous – Most of the time your nervousness does not show at all. If you do not say anything about it, nobody will notice. If you mention your nervousness or apologize for any problems you think you have with your speech, you will only call attention to it. Concentrate on your message – Not the audience. Your nervous feelings will dissipate if you focus your attention away from your anxieties and concentrate on your message. Turn nervousness into positive energy – The same nervous energy that causes stage fright can be used as an asset to you. Harness it, and transform into vitality and enthusiasm. Gain experience – Experience builds confidence, which is the key to effective speaking. Most beginning speakers find that their anxieties decrease after each speech they give.

Preparation

and Reheral

Breathing

Techniques

Mental State

75%

15%

10%


Nov 2013 31

Tips For Controlling Nervousness Know your material well. PRACTICE! Practice your presentation several times in front of others (colleagues, friends or relatives). Work hard on your introduction; it sets the tone for the rest of the presentation. Learn participant’s names and use nametags or cards. Establish credibility early. Use eye contact. First look for a friendly face and initially focus on that person. Secondly, look at everybody and make a connection with everyone before you start. Check the facility and equipment in advance. Relax before you speak. Use positive imagery and statements. Prepare an outline and follow it. Dress comfortably and appropriately. Get a good amount of rest. Use your own style and your own words. Be yourself! Audiences tend to be sympathetic. Assume that they are on your side. Practice responses to tough questions. Speak from your diaphragm and breathe through your nose. This will help to keep your voice from shaking. Remember that nervousness feels worse than it looks. You are your own worst critic and as a result, your own worst enemy.


Nov 2013 32

TIPS FOR HANDLING SPECIFIC SYMPTOMS OF NERVOUSNESS Symptoms Solutions Trembling hands and Use 3” x 5” cards. Place them on the lectern rattling manuscript and slide each card to one side after it has been used.

Use you hands to emphasize your points. Take the nervous energy and put it to use. Stumbling over words- Deliberately slow down your speaking rate until the problem getting “tongue twisted” disappears The feeling that you Speak slowly. Take longer pauses between sentences. cannot catch your breath Breathe from your diaphragm and through your nose. Unwillingness to look at In the beginning, do not look directly at individuals. the audience Instead, look just above their heads or slightly to one side of their faces. Later, pick the friendliest face in the audience and look first at that person Excessive perspiration Ignore it. Do not call attention to it by wiping your hands or forehead. Cold hands and feet Make some platform movement and gestures. Hoarse or squeaky voice Before a speech, tape record your rehearsal sessions and concentrate on eliminating vocal problems. If this problem occurs during a speech, ignore it. Dry mouth Speak slowly to avoid getting tongue-tied.

Do not lick your lips in front of the audience. Have water available. Tense muscles Use platform movements and gestures. Cramps, butterflies in Remember that the audience is ordinarily not aware of such symptoms stomach Ignore them as much as possible. Wanting to return to Resist this feeling at all costs. The best way to control stage your seat fright is by having more, not less, experiences with public speaking. Feeling inferior Try dressing for the speech in the outfit that makes you look your best.

Naturally, it must be appropriate to the audience and occasion. Send yourself positive messages. Instead of telling yourself, “This is going to go horribly wrong, I’m going to blow it.” tell yourself “I can do this, this is going to be great!”.


Nov 2013 33

The Question-Answer Session When you hear a question, it is important to first LISTEN TO THE QUESTION. If you did not hear the question have it repeated. If you do not fully understand the question ask for clarification. You have to get it clear in your mind before you can answer it. You will also hear the tone of the questioner and will get the opportunity to assess his/her agenda. Next, REPEAT THE QUESTION. Not all audience members will have heard it and repeating it gives you the opportunity to solidify it in your mind. If the questioner used terms or words and you are unsure of his/her DEFINITION of those terms ask, 'WHEN YOU SAY, "______" I KNOW WHAT I MEAN WHEN I USE THAT WORD, BUT WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY IT?' If you don't CLARIFY the meaning of terms, you may be answering another question entirely! RELATE THE QUESTION TO YOUR MAIN SPEECH. Sometimes a questioner may not have understood the point you made in your speech. Restate your comments, briefly, and clarify the misunderstanding. If your questioner is ARGUMENTATIVE, and persists despite your attempts to MOVE ON, put some humour into it! "We could have a verbal duel at sunrise if you'd like, but I think the rest of the audience might like to move on…next question, please." Or, "I see our differences on this point are basic, but lets agree that the sun will rise tomorrow morning!"


Nov 2013 34

Answering Difficult Questions

THE CONCEALED OBJECTION These questions can begin with phrases such as “but won’t your new guideline cause more problem tan there is…” Response: You should not be defensive. These questions should be handled in the same way as an objection, which involves restating your key points. “This is an important point and I would like to clarify this”, “Good, lots of people bring up this objection, let me clarify”.

THE TEST QUESTION The audience member who wants to probe your knowledge and expertise often asks this type of question. Ex: “Could you tell me the exact figure of….”? Response: The golden rule for handling this type of question is to refrain from bluffing. Also, don’t apologize for your ignorance. If you don’t know, state that clearly, but offer to get the information and supply it to the questioner and keep your promise. “I will verify the exact figure and get back to you on this point”

THE ATTENTION SEEKING QUESTION Someone who really does not want to ask you a question asks this type of question. They want to tell the audience how much they know about the subject. Ex: “In my experience, reform only works if management really supports it….” Response: If there is no real question and the provided statement is correct, state, “Yes that is correct. Thank you for the comment”.

THE CHALLENGING QUESTION This type of question arises when someone in the audience feels that you have encroached into their area of expertise or responsibility. Ex: “So are you telling us how to write our own financial statements!”? Response: It is usually wise to retreat or correct any impression that you are attempting to comment over someone else’s expertise. “I am in no means an expert in this area and I did not mean to give this impression”.

THE DEFENSIVE QUESTION People who may be affected by what you are proposing ask this type of question. This is another form of objection. Ex: “So you are telling us that we never did anything right in Turkey ….” Response: Be prepared for a spirited defense if you are challenging an entrenched system and are proposing a new way of doing things. Often turning questions back on a questioner will help. For instance: “Do you feel that the current system is fool proof, and does not require any modification?


Nov 2013 35

OFF THE RECORD QUESTIONS Ex: “Off the record, don’t you think this is excessive?” Response: Don’t answer a question in a public place with a statement that is off the record. If you answer a question in public, it is on the record. Ask to speak to the person after the presentation

YES OR NO QUESTIONS A questioner who asks for a simple “Yes” or “No” response is often aggressive and trying to manipulate you. Ex: “Just tell me if Yes or NO, Strategic Management is a good idea?” Response: You do not have to accept this approach. Answering questions with a carefully thought out stand alone statement is the best policy. “I’m sorry but your question calls for more than a Yes or No response”.

“NO WIN” QUESTIONS You could be asked: “Is your advice supposed to remedy poor management in the Ministry or poor planning by the Government? If you speak about management, you face the choice of either blaming the Ministry or perhaps blaming the Government representatives in the audience.

Response: “Neither, there are other elements involved in this situation.”

As you listen to a question you should decide in your mind whether to: - Answer it; - Agree with it and treat it as a statement; - Refer it to someone else such as an expert colleague; - Defer it by asking the questioner to discuss it with you privately afterwards; - Admit that you don’t know the answer and ask to come back to the questioner with a researched response. - Throw it back to the audience


Nov 2013 36

CHECKLIST Seating Format What is the seating format? Do you want theatre, classroom, meeting, discussion, workshop or informal discussion style? Do you have any special requirements? Lighting Are the lights fitted with dimmers? Are there any lights that shine directly on the screen? Do these have separate switches so you can turn them off? Check the switches. Organize to have someone operate the lights if possible. Are there curtains to block sunlight if the room is too bright? Lectern Is there a lectern? Is the height adjustable? If so, check how it adjusts. Does it have a script light? Check that the bulb works. Does it have projector controls for slides? Check if the lectern is sensitive to the PA system. Are turning your papers or touching the lectern amplified through the PA? Microphone and PA System What type of microphone is available (i.e. on the lectern, separate stand, hand-held or neck microphone)? Is it permanently turned on, or do you have to turn it on? Is it set for the correct volume? Test it. Does it ‘pop’ or ‘hiss’ when you speak closely to it? If it does, ask for it to be adjusted. Does it screech if you speak closely? If it does, stand back, or ask for it to be adjusted. Screen Is there a built-in screen (e.g., wall-mounted or ceiling-lowered), or do you need to bring in a portable screen? Check the operation of the built-in screen. Ensure there are no cuts or tears and that the lowering mechanism works if applicable. Is it large enough for the audience? Screen Position Is the screen at no more than a 45-degree angle to any part of the audience so they can see it properly? Is it properly located in relation to the projector/s? Projectors Is there a projection box built in at the back of the room? Alternatively, will you reverse project? Ensure there is adequate projection length behind the screen if you plan to do this. Where will you place your projector if it is free standing? Is there a suitable aisle or area where it will not block the audience’s view and distract people?


Nov 2013 37

Control Switches Do you know where power switches are located? Are they close enough to your equipment? Do you need an extension lead? For overseas presenters, check whether it is 110, 220 or 240-volt power and ensure your equipment is compatible. Other Equipment Do you require any other equipment, such as a flip chart, whiteboard, overhead projector, pointer, extra carousels for slides, spare bulbs, table or stand for the projector, etc.? General Is there any outside noise that will disturb or distract your audience (e.g. a construction site adjacent or renovation work going on next door)? Ask about any work scheduled for the time of your presentation. Are there any pillars in the room, which will block the audience’s view? Are all cables taped down so they cannot be kicked out or dislodged, disconnecting your equipment? Masking tape will do a fine job of securing cables. Is there a technician in the venue? If so, introduce yourself and ask for his or her help. Technical people are usually only too happy to assist if asked. If you want a glass of water at the lectern, don’t forget to ask.


Nov 2013 38

Designing Power Point Presentations Considerations and Tips Your main goal when using a Power Point Presentation is to communicate, not to show off how much clip art you can cut and paste or how much information you can cram into a slide. Formatting and Visual Qualities Amount of Text Limit the text to no more than 6 – 8 lines per slide No more than 6 words in each line. The information on the slide is meant to highlight points not actually speak to the details of each. Avoid using more than 3 plain text slides in a row; integrate tables, graphs and pictures to break the visual monotony. Keep all text (and graphics) at least ¼” away from the edge or border of the slide. The rule of thumb is keep it simple, less is more. Font Size No text on a slide should be smaller than 18 points. Use 44 points for Titles 32 points for text 28 points for subtext A quick method to check the visibility of your font size is to hold a print out of your slide at arms length, if you can read all of it, the slide will be legible throughout the room you present in. Use no more than 3 different font sizes per slide Font Style Use no more than 2 font styles (or typefaces) in a presentation. To many different styles distracts the attention of the viewer away from the content and towards the aesthetics. Try to stick to Times New Roman or Arial whenever possible unless you are purposely looking to impact the viewer with another style. The fonts are the easiest on the eye and specifically designed for readability. Use of Colour Use 4 colours max per slide. Colour is great and can bring your presentation to life, just don’t over do it. Avoid conflicting colours. For instance, using red text over a blue background will result in a visual conflict. Both of these colours are of a similar value on the colour wheel, and therefore there is little to no contrast. The more contrast you have between your text and your background, the easier it will be to read. Use a colour for the wording that has a very high contrast to the background Light colours look great on dark backgrounds Bright colours make small objects stand out Don’t use more than 4 colours on a chart


Nov 2013 39

Use of figures and pictures Pictures, figures and graphs must always be relevant. Power Point has a huge clipart gallery, IGNORE IT! Everyone else is using the same clips. For a huge array of clip art and photos go to Microsoft’s Gallery at http://dgl.microsoft.com This site is huge and easily referenced and navigated. Simply type in a word which describes the type of picture or graphic you are looking for and wait. Using no pictures is boring but too many pictures can be distracting, find a balance, and be creative. Guidelines for Components and Format of a Presentation Components of a slide Header – Title Text – here use an outline format, bulleted points are best, clear and concise Figures and pictures Footer (optional but may contain date and place of presentation and company logo)

Presentation SkillsPresentation Skills

•• Click to edit Master text stylesClick to edit Master text styles

–– Second levelSecond level

•• Third levelThird level

–– Fourth levelFourth level

»» Fifth levelFifth level

July 2002 ‹#›

Header/Title

Text – No

smaller than 18

point font

Footer

http://dgl.microsoft.com/


Nov 2013 40

Components of a Slide Show Presentation Title Slide Title must be informative - the audience must know at one glance whether they want to listen to the presentation or not. Name and affiliation Date (for your information) Overview/Agenda A brief outline of the presentation Let the audience know what to expect No more than 1 page, 1 minute Introduction What are you presenting? Motivation and application - why is the work worthwhile? Any background information the audience should know (e.g. theory or previous research) Body Supporting facts Figures, pictures and graphs Procedures or actions to be taken Results and discussion This is the most important section of the presentation. Raw data and analysis Use graphical presentation and tables Conclusion A brief summary Future steps, actions and research Presenting - Short Cuts and Tips When running your Power Point presentation keeps the following short cut keys in mind: W blanks the screen white (repeat to unpause). B blanks the screen black (repeat to unpause). A shows/hides pointer. Ctrl+P changes the cursor from an arrow to a pen so you can write on the slide to highlight the points. Ctrl+A changes the cursor from a pen back to an arrow. To return to the first slide of the presentation, hold down both mouse buttons for 2 seconds.


Nov 2013 41

Dress & Professional Presentation Grooming should be impeccable -hair neatly combed. Shoes should be well polished. Wear discreet jewellery. Men and women should wear simple rather than flashy watches. Women should avoid loose necklaces that can bump a microphone. Avoid bulging pockets. Take bundles of keys, loose change, and other bulky items out. Your clothes will hang better and you will avoid jingling or rattling. Never dress down for an audience. A common mistake of presenters is to try and dress down into the style of their audience. Men giving presentations should wear clothing appropriate for boardrooms and executive offices. There is timeless acceptance of: Dark suits (navy blue, black or charcoal grey, either plain or with a fine pin stripe) White or subdued collared stripe shirt Quality silk tie (can be bright but not garish) Black well-polished shoes Dark, unobtrusive socks Plain leather belt with a simple buckle Consensus on executive dress for women is hard to find. However, generally agreed upon guidelines are: Businesslike, but feminine clothes such as a well-cut suit, dress, or skirt and jacket Choose solid colours Don’t wear bright distracting colours Avoid bold checks and prints Do not wear very short skirts or low cut blouses If you wear a lot of makeup, do not over apply


Nov 2013 42

Formal and Non Formal Meetings Coffee Table Sessions Open discussion about a sensitive topic Non-Formal Meetings Put in place the right setting

• Make sure that the space looks like a café

• Provide roundtables with 4-5 confortable chairs

• Provide paper and colourful pencils for participants

• Hang on posters and slogans to encourage participants to discuss

• Provide refreshments

• Relax participants with a soft music

Create the right atmosphere

• Set the context

• Create hospitable space

• Explore questions that matter

• Encourage everyone’s participation

• Connect diverse perspectives

• Draw, doodle and play

• Have fun!!! Format of the discussion:

Focus on what matters

Define the objectives

Contribute with your thinking

Speak your mind and heart

Listen to understand

Link and connect ideas

Listen together for deeper insights and questions

Reach a conclusion

«When a meeting, or part thereof, is held under the Chatham House Rule, participants are free to use the information received, but neither the identity nor the affiliation of the

speaker(s), nor that of any other participant,

may be revealed.»


Nov 2013 43

Formal Meetings It is your chance to show leadership - You are in charge Define the objective of the meeting

For sharing information?

• What is the added value of meeting instead of communicating electronically?

For discussion?

• Do you have the right people in the room?

• How can you lead the conversation so it is structured

• Can you base the discussion on facts rather than just opinions?

For decision making?

• Are the participants the actual decision makers?

• Do they have all the facts? Be clear about the agenda

The purpose of the meeting is… o Examine facts o Explore options – discussion o Make a decision o Identify a proper communication plan for the people concerned o Organise & structure the plan of action o Examine what we have done and adjust accordingly

The outcome I expect is…

This is the issue…

I would like you to… / I need from you…

Who will do what, with which deadline? When to do What

Mode of operation Style Description

TELL This is what you must do You are the expert

SELL This will generate X You motivate – Tell what needs to be done to get ROI

BUY IN Look at what you will get out of this What are the benefits for the person

CONSULT What do you want/need? Effort to truly understand

COACH What can I do to help you? Respect for the person’s decision. Be neutral about the output



edilmektedir

15 October 2013 9

Meeting Date: /……/ Time:

Ex

am

ine fa

cts,

pro

s & c

on

s

Ex

plo

re op

tion

s

Mak

ing

ratio

nal

decisio

ns

Co

mm

un

icate

Co

nsid

er im

pact

Org

an

ise - P

lan

Stru

ctu

re

Eva

luate

Be

flex

ible

Tim

e N

eed

ed

Outcome Meeting Facilitator(s):

Time Keeper: Location:

Topic Objective

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Managing Meetings


Nov 2013 45

Leading Effective Meetings



edilmektedir

Explore

options

4 5

61

Examine the facts in details

2

3 Take rational

decisions

Communicate decisions +

Take into consideration the impact on people

Plan - Structure

Organise

Adapt

Improve

Be flexible

Keep the process of efficiency in mind



edilmektedir

Dysfunction - Left Brain Only

EXPLORE OPTIONS

BE CREATIVE

USE INTUITION

LOOK AT FACTS IN

DETAILS

MAKE RATIONAL

DECISIONS

PROPER COMMUNICATION

FOCUS ON EMOTIONS & BELIEFS

STRUCTURE

ORGANISE

FLEXIBILITY

ADJUST

Dysfunction

1

35

If Extraverts, making decisions too quickly and acting too fast

2

4

6



edilmektedir

Dysfunction - Right Brain Only

CONSIDER

POSSIBILITIES

BE CREATIVE

BE PRACTICAL

FOCUS ON DETAILS

ANALYTICAL

THINKING

PROPER COMMUNICATION

FOCUS ON EMOTIONS - BELIEFS & VALUES

STRUCTURE

PLAN

ORGANISE

FLEXIBILITY

ADAPT

Dysfunction 2

4

61

35


Nov 2013 47

Coaching Skills



edilmektedir Coaching Skills: a 5 step process 1. Building

rapport &

relationship

2. Structure of

a conversation

3. Focused

listening

4. Effective

Questioning

5. Constructive

Feedback

Beliefs we operate from



edilmektedir From being directive to coaching

I am a Directive I am Coaching

Some beliefs I operate from – ‘I am’

I expect to have solutions/make decisions

I am responsible for the actions of people

The skills I am using

Organise, solve problems,

make decisions, giving orders

What I am actually doing

Give instructions – tell the person what to do

Some beliefs I operate from – ‘You are’

Everyone can generate great solutions and

Is responsible for the results they create

The skills I am using

Focused listening, open questions, reflection,

Feedback, open observation, dialogue

What I am actually doing

Understand, challenge interpretations,

Encourage others to think

Coaching requires a change in mindset


Nov 2013 48



edilmektedir

Time

Mot

ivat

ion

- Per

form

ance

Panic zone

Boredom

Disillusion

Fatigue

Stimulation

Energy

Idealism

Excitement

Resilience

Stretch zone

Comfort zone

1 2 3 4 5 Coaching 6 7 8 9 10

10 9 8 7 6 Being directive 5 4 3 2 1

Illness

Exhaustion

Breakdown

Burnout

DEAD ZONE



edilmektedir

18

The coaching approach

I am directive- I tell what to do People direct themselves

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Dependence Guidance Sharing Support Delegation Encouragement Trust Independence

Directives Advice Opinions Suggestions Impressions Options Alternatives Possibilities


Nov 2013 49



edilmektedir Levels of Listening

Cosmetic Listening

Conversational Listening

Active/Attentive Listening

Deep Listening

Little effort/focus

Focused intention

‘If it looks like I’m listening, I’m not really, I’m kind of someplace else…’

‘I’m engaged in the conversation, listening, talking, thinking, talking,

thinking, again and again, etc.

‘I’m very focussed on what you’re saying, paying attention, recording

facts’

‘I’m more focussed on you than me, I’m getting a sense of who you

are.’



edilmektedir

50

Self - Awareness How do you feel?

What do you mean?

What exactly makes you upset?

What other words can you use to express how you

feel?

What else do you feel? Can you explain?

Self - Management What do you usually do when you are upset?

What have you done so far?

What worked, what did not work?

What can you learn from your past experiences?

Who/what could help you ?

What else could you do?

What other option do you have?

Awareness of others’ emotions

How do you think the other person feels?

What is the impact of your behaviour on other people?

How would you feel if you were in the same situation?

Have you discussed this with the other person?

Why not? What stopped you?

Managing others’ emotions How do you cope with people’s emotions?

What evidence do you have that the person will

respond negatively If you speak to him/her?

What can you do?

How can you approach the person differently?

What is stopping you? What are you afraid of?

What is the worst that could happen to you if…?

What would you do if you were sure to succeed? Source: Daniel Goleman

Coaching others to develop their your emotional maturity


Nov 2013 50

List of effective coaching questions ESTABLISH A CONTRACT

• What do you want to accomplish in this coaching session?

• Where do we need to be by the end of the session?

• How will you know you have succeeded? GATHER GENERAL INFORMATION

• Can you say more about this?

• What else happened? GATHER SPECIFIC INFORMATION

• What specifically is it that you don’t like? • Can you tell me what she actually said? • What was your reason for doing that?

SEEK TO UNDERSTAND

• Help me understand better…

• How do you feel? What is your level of frustration?

• Can you use a different word to say that? (Particularly when the person talks about low self esteem or feeling powerless)

• What is the real issue?

• What else could it be?

• What have you done so far?

• What else can you do?

• Why Now? HELP THE COACHEE REMEMBER

• What else do you remember? • What were you thinking / feeling /hearing at this point?

USE EXPERIENCE AS A RESOURCE

• Is this the first time you are in this situation?

• How did you handle it in the past? What worked, what did not work? CREATE A SHIFT

• What is the belief you operate from?

• What evidence do you have to support what you are saying?

• What would your role model do in this situation?

• What paradigm shift do you need to do to resolve this?

• What is stopping you from making that shift?

• Who can help?

• Let’s step back

• What would be a stretch for you there?

• What would you do if you couldn’t fail? CHANGE PERSPECTIVE

• 1st position = I – How do you see this situation?

• 2nd position= THEM - What would the other person say?

• 3rd position = THE OBSERVER- What would a neutral party say if he/she were observing this conversation?


Nov 2013 51

REFRAME – THINK POSITIVELY

• What is positive in what’s happening?

• How might this situation actually benefit you?

• What other words could you use?

• Can we step back and look at this from a different angle?

• Can we look for a 3rd option?

• What will you get from sorting this out? HELP REFLECT ON THE IMPACT ON OTHERS

• Who else is affected by this? • How will this affect the rest of your team? your family? Etc.

PROJECT INTO THE FUTUR

• What are the potential consequences, if things don’t change?

• What would be a good outcome?

• Imagine one year from now and everything is OK, what would it look like?

• How would you respond to this situation if it happens again?

• How can you handle this issue differently next time?

• If you could change one thing, what would that be?

• What might stop you from doing that?

• What will be your challenge with that?

• If you do this, how will that affect / benefit the situation? WHEN THE COACHEE IS FACING A CHANGE Change is always uncomfortable

• Are you stepping IN or OUT of the situation?

• How do you feel about change?

• What are you leaving behind?

- How will you keep in touch?

• What are you stepping into?

- (-) What evidence do you have? Let’s imagine the worst scenario

- (+) What is your fantasy? Lets picture your fantasy…

- Have you checked with anyone?

• Have you experienced this in the past?

- How did you cope?

- What worked? How can you apply this to NOW?

- What didn’t work? What can you learn from this past experience/failure?

• Who/ What can help you?

WHEN THE COACHEE IS STUCK IN A DILEMMA I need to …. I should …but I want to…

• What kept you from doing this?

• What is stopping you now?

- Give feedback: You seem to be ambivalent…on one hand A ; on the other hand B.

• What are the consequences of not doing anything?

- Lets imagine 10 years from now. What would it look like?

• Lets’ imagine the 3 options: A or B or Status Quo – Not doing anything is always an option

• What are the pros (of change) and the cons of each option?

- How do you feel about each option?


Nov 2013 52

• What would help you resolve this ambivalence?

• What is the belief at the core of your dilemma?

• What paradigm shift do you need to operate? HELP THE COACHEE REACH A CONCLUSION

• What conclusion are you coming to now? What are your thoughts about this now? PLAN OF ACTION

• What have you decided to do now?

• What are you going to do next? What specifically are you going to NOT DO anymore?

• What will your process be then?

• What do you need? Who can help?

• What are the obstacles?

• What can you commit to now?

• How will you feel once you have done this?


Nov 2013 53

Identify people’s drivers – The SCARF Model This model is based on a study of the brain at MIT by Lieberman in 2007 (USA), which shows that social behaviour is governed by an overarching organising principle of minimising threat & maximising reward. Social needs are treated by the brain as the need for food and water (primary survival needs). This study discovered that five drivers activate either the primary reward or primary threat circuitry (and associated networks) of the brain i.e. a perceived threat to one’s status activates similar brain networks to a threat to one’s life and a perceived increase in fairness activates the same reward circuitry as receiving food or a monetary reward The 5 drivers are…

Status = relative importance – pecking order - seniority, being better

Certainty = ability to predict the future

Autonomy = perception of exerting control over one’s environment, a sensation of having choices

Relatedness = deciding whether or not to be in or out of a social groups. Sense of connection and belonging

Fairness = justice in exchanges When attempting to influence people or to solve a conflict …

Identify what motivates the other person

Maximise the increase of rewards,

Reduce the threats to those drivers

Use arguments that appeal to the person. Status: Let’s negotiate in the spirit of excellence We could do better, let’s improve our relationship Certainty: Let’s make sure that we are aligned; let’s clarify our objectives and priorities so we both know what to expect from each others Autonomy: Let’s define our responsibilities and scope of decision making Relatedness: We are in this together, we belong to the same organisation, same values, common objectives, Fairness: Let’s be fair and ensure that everyone is taken under consideration


Nov 2013 54

Tips to increase Status

How does it feel when someone puts you down in front of others? That horrible, deflating feeling comes from an attack to your status. Our brains are naturally drawn to things that increase how we feel about ourselves in relation to others, so here are a few tips for increasing one's status.

Openly praise and give positive feedback in front of others. 'Constructive' feedback should be useful and done in private.

Help people achieve more. In a work setting, help them break large projects down into smaller parts so that there is a sense of achievement. When we achieve, our feeling of status goes up.

Create a sense of 'importance'. Rather than give promotions to roles, which may be outside of someone's ability, try giving people special projects to work on that are based upon their skills set.

Focus on their learning and their development. When people feel they've learned something new and are 'better' their status goes up.

Tips to increase Certainty

When there is uncertainly looming in any area of our life, it can consume our thoughts. You may have been in a situation when your manager has been vague or ambiguous about you in your role, or what they expect from you. How did it feel to have that uncertainty?

When dealing with staff, communicate your expectations clearly up front, and allow the employee to ask questions that will give them 100% certainty of what you expect. Make sure you make it comfortable for them to ask questions.

Be as clear and specific as possible. If you have to speak about a challenging subject (either as a manager, partner or friend), don't create a sense of uncertainty a long time before the conversation will take place. For example, 'I need to have a discussion about your performance on this project, how does next week sound?' will negatively impact the performance of an employee.

Help people plan and organise their thoughts or work. Having a plan in place creates a sense of certainty, even when it may or may not be used.

Tips to increase Autonomy

We like to feel as if we are in control of the things in our life. Being in control means having choice. How many people do you know that have left a job because they were micro-managed? People leave jobs in the hope that they can have some sort of control over their work.

Don't micro-manage!

Give people options. Try the statement: 'Here's two different options, what would you prefer?'. You'll get a much better reaction than: 'Here's what you need to do'.

Give the perception of control over one‘s environment - in work, allow people to have flexibility around how they organise their day, their workspace, work hours can give employees a sense of control over their life.


Nov 2013 55

Tips to increase Relatedness

Relatedness refers to how connected we feel to someone or a group of people. Whether they're a friend - someone who 'gets' us and is on our side, or a foe - someone who you don't connect with, doesn't understand you or is in competition with you. No doubt, you would have encountered a lot of both varieties in your life! How does it feel when you really connect with someone? You're much more open to hearing their ideas and engaging with them in meaningful dialogue. You're also willing to give more.

Create safe spaces to increase relatedness with others and give opportunities for people to share their experiences/ concerns and use each other as resources. For example, water coolers, coffee areas, setting up buddies or mentoring and coaching relationships that are well defined.

Take the time to listen and really hear what people are saying. In a manager/ employee or salesperson/client relationship, it's important to ensure that your interlocutor sees you as someone who is on their side. You can do this by ensuring that you're listening to them and communicating with them in a respectful way.

Tips to increase Fairness

There is nothing more demotivating than feeling as if you have been treated unfairly. You see this commonly amongst siblings. If one feels that the others are being treated more fairly, it creates an intense away response. When you feel as if you are being treated fairly, you are more engaged in what you are doing.

Ensure that the same set of rules apply for everyone

Involve groups or teams in setting the rules, so that everyone feels included and agrees on what is considered 'fair'.

Establish clear expectations from the start so that people know what they need to set out to do and cannot argue that they have been treated unfairly if they haven't performed.

Jocelyne Rase HR Consultant

Tel: +32 477 923950 Email: [email protected]

Website: http://wwwSmarterNotHarder.be

mailto:[email protected]

http://smarternotharder.be/

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