Social Skills Training & Frustration Management

Jed Baker, Ph.D.

www.socialskillstrainingproject.com

Overview• Understanding challenging behaviors in social

communication disorders

• Overview of behavior management and frustration skills

• Components of social skills training

• Peer sensitivity

• Strategies to teach social skills

• Assessment for groups/classes

• Sample skill lessons

Autism Spectrum Disorders1. Social Difficulties

– Initiating and Reciprocating

2. Language Difficulties– Semantic and/or Pragmatic

3. Repetitive Behaviors/desire for sameness

Associated issues: – Learning Issues – Motor Issues– Sensory issues: Tactile or noise sensitivity– ADHD, OCD, Tourettes

Difficulties of Individuals with Social-Communication Disorders

• Difficulty with abstract thinking & perspective-taking. – Misbehavior is often unintentional! Teach

perspective more than discipline. • Inflexibility: Preference for static versus fluid Systems

– Learning facts is more enjoyable than socializing.– Preparation and expanded problem solving avoids

meltdowns.• Low Frustration Tolerance: Difficulty with Thinking-

Feeling Connection. – Concept of Emotional Hijacking– Prevent Rage and Distract when in rage.

Behavior management• Step 1: Relationship Issues

– Feeling Competent– Avoid power struggles: Validate feelings and

solve together versus you do what I say

• Step 2: Crisis management– Distract, bend a little the first time– Make a behavior plan to prepare for next time

• Step 3: Repeat behavior problems– Assess function of behavior

• Interview• Observe & and keep an ABC journal

– Develop a good behavior plan

Components of a Behavior Plan1. Modifications to Work/Setting 2. Teach a Replacement Skill: Break down by function:

– Escape: Trying When Its Hard, Dealing with Mistakes, Ask for a Break, Negotiate, Cope with Fear, Initiation

– Attention: How to Get Attention In Positive Ways, Starting a conversation, asking to play

– Retaliation: Dealing with Teasing, Accepting Consequences

– Tangible Reward: How to Wait, Accept No– Self-Stim: How to Soothe without Disruption– Displaced Anger: How to Deal with Source of Anger

3. Reward System: Grandma’s Rule & Charts 4. Maybe Loss System

Frustration management/anger control?• Modifications to setting or demands• Replacement Skills: put on cue card or chart

– Keeping calm (calming after your angry)– Dealing with Triggers (avoid getting angry)

• Trying when its hard, Dealing with mistakes• Dealing with losing• Accepting correction• Accepting no for an answer• Transitioning (stopping a favored activity)• Compromising• Dealing with teasing• Accepting criticism

• Rewards/loss, Visual aide to support new skills

Individual Daily Behavior Chart Name: _____________________ Date: _______________ Please rate this student in each target area for each period using the following scale:

1 = try harder2 = good3 = excellent

   Target Behaviors 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Tries When Its HardTries it, Asks for help, Ask for 1 min. break, Tries again.

               

Accepts ImperfectionDoes not get mad if corrected or gets something wrong

               

“Social Skill of the Week” 

               

 Average daily points earned during baseline: ___Points needed to earn basic privileges: ___Points in savings needed to earn special privileges: ___

Loss System• Use when student knows alternative, and

experiences some level of competence.• Time out: Magic 123

– Warning, Warning, Time Out or Loss of Privilege

• Warning Chart– Define behavior clearly

Warning

Loss of:10 min

Simpsons

WarningLoss of:snack

Loss of:20 min

Simpsons

Loss of:30 min

Simpsons

• Lifeline Rules– You can use 50:50, Ask a Specific Person, Poll

the audience.– You may use lifelines more than once, but as a

group you have only three lifelines.

The rule of thumb regarding dealing with a full blown meltdown is:

A. Try to reason with the youngster when he is upset.B. Do not bother to reason with him, instead try to take away privileges while he is upset.C. Try to distract him while he is upset, and then when he is calm, develop a plan to deal with the problem if it happens again.D. Use promises or threats.

For $8,000

Lifelines

Is that your final answer?

For $1,000,000

Lifelines

Is that you final answer?

If you are asked to attend 10 more hours of this workshop, you should:

A. Cancel your evening plans.B. Refuse, go home, and don’t answer the phone.C. Call your union, scream, and change your name.D. Ask for a huge raise from your job.

Behavior Plan Form

• Define problem behavior• Typical triggers or antecedents• Typical consequences• Hypothesized function (reason) for behavior

• Modifications• Replacement skills• Rewards or loss programs to support skills

Motivation

Pre-verbal

Reasoner

DTT-Lovaas

Adult directed, reward not necessarily related to response

PRT – Koegel

VBT – Sundberg

Reward is naturally related to response

Floortime DIR – Greenspan

Follows lead of child in play

RDI-Gutstein, activity pulls for attention

Verbal Reasoner

Behavior charts and token systems where rewards promised for target behaviors

Link behavior to student’s goals

Increase self-awareness of strengths prior to weakness

Have students teach others

Make interaction fun

External/contrived Internal/naturalistic

Components of social skills trainingFor Targeted Students:

1. Skills lessons: Defines learning objectives • Class Format: Skill lesson early in week; practice

daily

• Small Group & Pairs Format: Talk time, skill time, activity time, reward.

• Individual: To cover prerequisite attending skills, social phobia, or to address frustration skills for a behavior plan.

For Targeted Students:

2. Generalization: Key is practice in natural situations• Prime the skill

• Verbally cue the skill• Visually cue the skill: Assignment sheet, cue card

or behavior chart• Facilitated opportunities for practice

• Create activities that require use of skill: baiting• Decide where, when, how often, and with whom• Coach skill use as it happens

• Provide feedback about skill use• Classroom Marble Jar• Individual reward chart• Social autopsy

Components of social skills trainingFor Typical Peers and Staff:

3. Sensitivity/kindness lessons for typical peers and staff.-Include those who are left out-Stand up for those who are teased-Offer help if someone is upset

4. Generalization of kindness: -Classroom milieu: The marble jar-Lunch Buddy Program-Lunch Bunch Program

Overview of Peer Sensitivity

• I am here to talk with you about a student in your class. He is the same as you and different.

• How are we all the same and different?

• We are also different in the way we sense things?

What are the five senses?

Sense Difficulty

• Seeing Blindness

• Hearing Deaf

• Touch Touch Changes

• Taste Taste Changes

• Smell Smell Changes

The Sixth Sense: The Social Sense• 1. Knowing what to do and say in social

situations. – Starting Conversations– Asking to Play

• 2. Reading body language

• 3. Easy to make friends.

Hey. How’s it going?Can I play too?

Social Blindness: Problems with the Social Sense

• 1. Trouble knowing what to do and say in social situations. – Starting Conversations– Asking to Play– Off the topic

• 2. Trouble with body language.– Little Eye Contact

• 3. Hard to make friends• 4. Trouble with Sports.

?

John’s Difficulties: Social Blindness• 1. Trouble knowing what to do and say in

social situations. – Starting Conversations– Asking to Play

• 2. Hard to read body language• 3. Hard to make friends• 4. Difficulty concentrating around a

lot of people.• 5. Easily upset or fearful of:

– New things.– Difficult work. May try to avoid.

John’s Strengths and Talents

• 1. Intelligent even though new work may upset him.

• 2. Great artist. Great at drawing, clay modeling.

• 3. Excellent memory for facts

• 4. Good at Video Games

• 5. Caring Person – If he does something to upset others, it is

usually not on purpose. It may be because he is upset about his work.

Famous People with Social Blindness

• Albert Einstein - Physicist– Social difficulties,

Learning Disability

• Bill Gates - Founder of Microsoft– Social Difficulties

Famous People with Social Blindness

• Thomas Edison - Inventor– Social difficulties,

Learning Problems

• Wolfgang Mozart - Composer– Social Difficulties

Group Exercise

1. Five Students to leave for a moment.

2. How to Join the Millionaires Club-Everyone gets one million dollars & snacks

How does it feel when you do not know how to join in?

• Frustrating

• Unfair

• Angry

• Sad, lonely

How can we help John?• Invite him to join in conversation and play

during lunch/recess and other times.

• Stand up for him if he is teased.

• Offer help if he is upset.

• Marble jar

• Lunch buddies

Social Skills Training Strategies Informal (Talk and Play Time)

• Incidental Teaching (All the time, most important) Formal (Skill Time)

• Structured Learning (groups or individual)– Explain, Model, Role-Play, Practice

• Social Skill Picture Books (groups or individual)• Cognitive-Picture Rehearsal (individual)• Social-Stories (individual)• Video Review (groups or individual) • ABA: Discrete Trial, PRT, VBT, (For prerequisite skills:

following instructions, action /object identification & basic language concepts) – Cue, Prompt, Response, Reinforcement

Incidental Teaching• It is experiential rather than a didactic skill lesson

• It is coaching social interaction as it is unfolding naturally. It involves:– Pointing out the perception/feelings of others in the

moment.– Highlighting non-verbal cues.– Correcting misperceptions (e.g., accidents vs. malicious

actions). – Prompting conversation, play, & emotion management

skills as they are needed

• Social Autopsy is an important component.

Structured Learning• Didactic Instruction of skill steps• Model correct way, and maybe wrong way• Role-play with feedback until proficient• Practice and Generalization

– Steps go home to parents, teacher or aide who• Quizzes• Models & Role-plays• Prompts• Reinforces with praise, reward, or token

economy.• Need a gimmick for Role-play or instruction!

Listening Position

1. Make eye contact.

2. Quiet hands and feet. Stay still.

3. Quiet mouth. Don’t talk while others are talking.

Example of Picture Books Accepting No for an Answer

1. Sometimes parents and people say “No” when you ask them for something.

2. Say, “Okay” and do not get mad.

3. If you accept no, then the other person will be happy and may let you do something you want to do later.

1. Sometimes people say “No” when you ask them for something.

No. Do this work first.

Can I play this game?

When the boy asks to play the game, the teacher says no and tells him to do his work first.

2. Say, “Okay” and do not get mad.

Wrong WayThe boy gets mad and does not accept no for an answer.

Right WayThe boy says okay and does not get mad. He knows he will get to play the game later.

Okay.

I am happyhe accepted no.

No. I want to play now.

No. You must go sitand do your work.

3. If you accept no, then the other person will be happy and may let you do something you want to

do later.

Wrong WayThe boy still can’t play because he would not accept no and wait to play.

Right WayThe boy now gets to play because he waited until he finished his work.

Now that you finished your work, you

can play the game.

GoodMorning.

I am happy I waited. I am angry that I stillhave to do work and

can’t play.

Cognitive Picture Rehearsal

• Antecedents: Triggers to problem behavior

• Behavior: Appropriate behavior or skill

• Consequence: Rewards, not punishments.

Matt is playing at the computer.

The teacher tells Matt to get off the computer.

Time to get off the computer.I feel mad.

Matt remembers what will happen if he gets off the

computer.

Time to get off the computer

If I get off,the teacher will be happy

and let me use the computeragain. She will also give

me a point towards my reward.

Matt decides to accept that he must get off the computer.

Thank you for stopping.

Okay. I will stop.

I am so happy and proud of Matt. He did a great

job listening.

The teacher rewards Matt for getting off the computer.

You get a point on your reward chart.

Okay. I will stop.

Later that day, the teacher lets Matt use the computer again because he did such a great job getting off the computer earlier.

You can use the computer again becauseyou got off the computer earlier.

Thanks!

Social Stories• Create a narrative, written in the first person, to

increase understanding of target social situation.• Start with child’s perspective of a target situation and

expand it to include others’ perspectives. Give choices and show positive outcome.

• Use 2-5 descriptive and perspective statements for every directive statement.

• Use language that makes sense to child.• Read 3-5 times per day and just before target situation.

Video Review

• Video natural or structured situation.

• Start with Child’s perspective and expand.

• Can use rating form as aide to rehearsing skills. For example:– Eye contact -Talked Briefly– Distance -Shift Topics – Waited for pause appropriately– Started Conversation -Ask & Tell on-topic– Avoided Sensitive Topics

Assessment of Social Skill Training Needs

• Data from functional assessments: Interview with parents, teacher, & child (ABC diary)

• Social skill menu from Baker’s Social skill menu from Baker’s manualmanual

• Assess joint attention through interview or observation with peers

Menu of Skills by Topic Area

• Prerequisites to learning from others:– Joint Attention– Basic receptive language

• Core Conversational Skills (Responding and Initiating)• Playing with Others• Frustration Skills• Understanding Others Feelings• Friendship Management• Employment Skills• Dating

Activities that promote Joint Attention• Discrete trial: Adult directs. Cue and prompt attention at

person or object and reinforce.

• VBT and PRT. Induces child to direct. Create situations in which they need help or show favored toys, food, or actions and wait for them to ask for it or prompt them to request.

• Floor-time, RDI (promising, but limited research as to effectiveness):

– Freeze game

– I lost my voice

– Red light green light with faces

– Follow my eyes to the prize

– Look at my face to find the prize

– Imitation games

Ask Tell

Who?

What?

Where?

When?

Why?

How?

What else?

I like ____.

I also _____.

I am going to ____.

I went to _______.

Maintaining a Conversation

Starting Conversations with Classmates, Teachers, and Family

1. Greet the person.Say “Hello” the first time you see them during the day.

2. Ask about what they are doing in the present situation.“What are you [doing, playing, reading, eating?]”

3. Ask questions about the past. “How was your [week, weekend, vacation, holiday]?”

4. Ask questions about the future.“What are you going to do for the [week, weekend, vacation, holiday, after school]?”

5. Ask questions about their routine or interests.“How is [soccer practice, class, religious school, work, chess club] going?

Knowing When to Stop Talking

1. Look for signs to see if the other person is interested.

2. If the other person looks bored or has to leave, ask “Do you want to hear more?”

3. If the other person does not want to hear more, then stop talking or ask, “What do you want to talk about?”

Shifting Topics

• Ask a follow question or make an on-topic comment before asking to switch topics

• Ask to switch topic: “Do you mind if I talk about something else?”

• Or use a linking phrase like: “Speaking of . . .” or “that reminds me . . .”

Getting to Know Someone New• 3 minutes to find out what you have in common.NAME What’s your name? Mine is _____.

SCHOOL Where do you go to school? What grade are you in? What are your favorite subjects?

NEIGHBORHOOD Where do you live? What’s it like there?

INTERESTS What do you do for fun? What games do you like? What TV shows do you watch? What kind of music do you like?

FAMILY Do you have a big family? Do you have brothers and sisters? Do you have any pets?

Activities to Generalize Conversation – Choral/classroom Activities:

• Show & Tell• Mystery bag• Guess who• Game show format to review• Freeze game

– Naturalistic conversations:• Facilitated dyads

– Conversational tennis– Speed dating: rotating brief dyads

• Facilitated group conversations– Tokens for asking and telling on-topic

Sample Cooperative Play/Work Skills

• Prerequisites: Learning how to play

• Joining In

• Compromising

• Dealing with Losing

• Working in a group

Prerequisites: how to play

• Learn to manipulate toys, games, art• Learn to share space: parallel play• Learn to share materials• Learn to interact with adults then peer dyads:

– Functional use of toys (e.g., catch a ball)

– Early pretend play (direct imitation of real life routines) like vacuuming, caring for baby, shopping

– Co-creation of pretend play (the pretend play is negotiated between partners) like making up a story

Joining In

1. Decide if you want to join others who are playing.

2. Walk up to the person and wait for a pause in their play.

3. Say something nice about what there are doing. “You guys are good at that.”

4. Ask if you can play. Say “Can I play too?”

or “Can I help?” or slowly join the play.

5. If they say no ask someone else to play.

1. Find out what the other person wants to do.

2. Tell the person what you want to do.

3. If you want to do different things, then compromise: offer to do some of what they want and then some of what you want to do.

4. Do some of what they want and then do some of what you want to do.

Compromising

What do you want to play?

I want to play . . .

Compromising

This Both That

1. Think to yourself, “It’s only a game, there will be other games.”

2. Think, “Even if I lose the game, I can win a friend if I do not get mad.

3. Say good game.

.

Dealing with Losing

Working in a group1. Everyone assert their idea2. Select one idea: compromise, combine ideas3. Go with the group

• Group roles:– Leaders: keeps everyone on task, makes sure

everyone has a say. Does not decide for others.– Idea contributors: give ideas– Note-taker: keeps record of ideas

Generalizing Cooperation/Play Skills• Prime before playtime, coach during, then review. • Facilitate opportunities for play or group projects• Select activities to highlight certain skills:

• Simple games that require attending to others: Builder-architect, barrier games, follow the leader, matching rhythms, hide and seek, red light/green light, catch.

• Imaginary/pretend games: Family routines, shopping routines, dolls and animals, make a commercial or movie.

• Structured win/lose, take turn games: board games, sports, team sports where goal scores only after an assist and players can’t hog ball for more than 3 seconds.

• Cooperative school projects: commercial, stories, poster.

Understanding Your Feelings• Identifying Feelings:

– Mind-reading software Photos, Drawing, Mirror, Silent Movies, Charades with activities and feelings

• Identifying situation-thought-feeling connection– Journal of event-thought-feeling-coping strategy

Asserting Your Feelings• Use with someone who cares about your feelings.• Assertive is not:

• Passive (silent)

• Aggressive (words or actions that hurt)

• Looks and sounds like:• Eye contact, good posture, firm but calm voice.

• Non-threatening words to use (“I” message):I feel _________ (feeling word)

when you _________ (describe actions not person)

because __________.

What I want you to do is _____________.

1. Ask if the person is teasing you.2. Tell the person to stop in a firm voice.3. If they keep teasing, tell them you do not care

what they say.4. If they keep teasing, ignore them or walk away. 5. If they keep teasing, tell an adult.

• Rules for Role-play– Each person decides how they will be teased.

Dealing with Teasing

Sample Friendship Management Skills

• Avoid Sensitive topics

• Don’t Be the Rule Police

Avoid Sensitive Topics • These are often personal topics that are upsetting

to others. – Teasing about how someone looks.

– Physical disability or learning problem.

– How old an adult is.

– Comments about race or religion.

– A death of a family member or friend.

– Rejection by a girl or boyfriend.

• If a topic is sensitive:– It’s okay to think it, but don’t say it.

– Wait for them to bring it up, then you can ask about it.

Don’t Be the Rule Police 1. Do not tell others what to do or tattle on them, even when they do

something wrong.

a. If you tell others what to do or tattle on them, they will

feel annoyed.

2. You can tell others what to do or tattle on them when:

a. You are the teacher, boss, or put in charge.

b. When others ask what the rules are.

c. When others break rules that could cause immediate

danger to themselves or others.

d. If someone tries to hurt you.

Sample Skills for Dealing with Others’ Feelings

• Showing Understanding

• The “Make Me Happy Game”

Are you okay?

1. Look for signs that others are sad or angry.

2. Ask, “Are you okay? What happened?”

3. Ask if you can help.

4. If they say yes, do something to help.

Showing Understanding for Others Feelings

Are you okay?

Can I help?

What happened?

“Make Me Happy” Game • Make cards of upsetting situations• Take turns acting out the situations while others have to guess what

happened.• When someone guesses right, ask others to make a statement to make

make the person happy:– Show interest by asking about the emotional topic– Show sympathy. Say, “sorry that happened”– Share a similar experience– Validate their feeling. “It makes sense that you feel that way”– Contradict any self-defeating thoughts– Offer to cheer them up with something fun– Give them hope that things will get better – Offer help.

Sample Employment Skills• Begins with vocational interests/abilities evaluation

– Functional vocational assessment to assess ongoing needs for work setting

• Getting a job– Where to look, Making a phone call to inquire, Making a resume– Interview skills

• Maintaining a job – Knowing responsibilities, following directions, asking for help– Respecting the supervisor and asserting yourself– Getting along with coworkers

• Exiting a job

Dating Skills

• Who is a potential date– Who, where to find

• Getting to know them before dating• Reading the signs of interest• Asking them out• Respecting physical boundaries: Permission for

physical closeness and assertiveness to limit it• Reciprocity of interest in each other