SLRC T1 M1 Lecture - static.laylamartin.com

SLRC TRIMESTER 1

MODULE 1

LECTURE GUIDE

T1M1 Lecture Guide 2

Discovering the Power of Self Love

We start with love – it is the fundamental foundation that heals everything.

It is the source of all of life’s thriving, and human beings especially thrive with

love and self love.

Almost all emotional wounding and trauma is sourced from a lack of love or

the perception that love wasn’t there.

One of the greatest healing mechanisms is love itself. The mystical traditions

and modern therapy state that real transformation exists when it’s sourced

from a place of love. Both spiritual and personal development, as well as

evolution, are much more powerful and effective when they come from a place

of self love.

As a coach, holding a space of deep love for your client is one of the most

effective ways to transform them, and this is also recognized in modern therapy.

Through your own work with self love and making your self love real and

powerful, you allow yourself to truly love and hold space for radical and

transformational self love for your clients.

Loving yourself means loving ALL parts of yourself and your humanity!

It is so powerful and profound to stop fighting with yourself, internally and with

reality, and truly come to a depth of love.

Copyright 2018, Truth and Love Coaching, LLC - All Rights Reserved.


Key points

• You don’t have to shape every experience to be loving.

• You are not meant to go inside and transform all your thoughts into loving

thoughts.

• You are definitely not trying to get your clients to do this.

Coming from a space of radical self love means meeting every experience,

thought, sensation and reality with love, but not trying to control or change it.

Allow yourself to love it and allow the experience to have a flavor of love.

Therapeutic Principles

These are the principles that you will learn in the program to understand how

to use big concepts, for example like love, in a very practical way with yourself

and your client that supports lasting transformation.

Self-regulation and self-soothing

To be happy, thriving and healthy human beings we need to be able to:

• Self-regulate, meaning when something arises inside that’s intense, you can

naturally drift back into a state of health

• Self-soothe, meaning that when something really upsets you, you are able to

soothe yourself back into love and calmness

This is the ability to regulate your emotions and soothe yourself when you

encounter challenges to take you back into a state of alignment and health. We

know how to do this naturally when we are raised in a healthy environment.

But for a lot of people, this gets disrupted. If you learn that some parts of you

are not okay and you are not able to express yourself fully to then return to a

resting state that feels good, those experiences will disrupt your ability to self-

regulate and self-soothe. When these systems are disrupted, they create a

strong defense mechanism in a person, because a level of trust around caring

for oneself is replaced with a fear of situations and emotions that they can’t

control.



For example:

• If you learn that anger is dangerous or not okay to express, then when

someone makes you angry you won’t be able to self-regulate and you can go

into an uncontrolled rage.

Love is fundamental for the ability to self-regulate, self-soothe and to live from a

place of power and goodness.

The three part brain

The three main parts of the brain that we want to understand are:

• The primal brain.

• The place where your unconscious belief systems and memories are

stored, instinctive impulses are housed, and where a lot of the

subconscious lives - sensations and felt sense experiences. Some of the

deepest parts and structures of the brain that affect how you operate even

when you are not aware of it.

• The limbic system

• Houses your feelings, emotions and your experience in your body.

• The cortex

• Your conscious thought, your thinking and control of things. Planning and

visionary skills.

Through evolution, these three parts evolved gradually, the primal brain first,

then the limbic system and finally the cortex.

Understanding interruptions in the three part brain and how trauma creates

separation in the brain will allow us to re-integrate these three parts of the

brain, which is a key part to successful transformation and coaching.

How you love yourself and experience love affects all three parts of the brain

and your experience in life in different ways.



Top-down and bottom-up

In the course, we will work with two different approaches to creating

transformation:

• Top down, meaning that we work first on the cortical ability, for instance, to

love and how to treat the limbic system and primal brain (sensations) with a

loving compassionate container

• Bottom up, meaning that you begin with changing the way that the primal

brain and the unconscious experiences life, and that will affect and change

the emotional response and finally the cortical thinking response

The key to really restoring self love is to get all three parts of the brain in

alignment with love and the ability to experience reality with love.

Discharging shock from the nervous system

One of the reasons we freeze, close down or develop hardness in the heart, is

because we experience neuronal system shock, specifically to the heart, and

that affects our ability to connect and love so we aren’t fully able to express and

release.

Really deep therapy and coaching work will allow you and the client to

discharge shock from the nervous system.

Examples of shock:

• Your parents not attending to your needs as a baby

• Abandonment from a parent

• Heartbreak

• Not belonging or feeling ostracized from social groups

These experiences can create closure of the heart, fears and layers of hardness

around the heart, a hardening and rigidity and pain around the heart that

makes it hard to love or form deeply intimate relationships.

Certain shocks to the heart can also make it hard to feel love for someone that

you are sexually attracted to.



Felt sense

Understanding and working with the felt sense is the core principle of this

module.

The felt sense is:

• The sensations that arise moment to moment within you

• The sensations that you can feel that are alive inside of your body

• Sensations such as: tingling, contraction, expansion, warmth, sharpness,

smoothness, flow, etc.

The key question for the felt sense is:

• What sensation am I experiencing right now inside my body?

The felt sense is the key to all deep transformation, both in the Tantric tradition

and in modern science.

A therapeutic process is successful to the degree that a person learns to

connect with their felt sense, to know what they are feeling inside and to be

able to connect with it moment to moment.

There are lots of layers above the felt sense and you can mistake habitual

patterns for the felt sense. Learning to tap into the felt sense is an art that you

will master during the program this year.

Tapping into the felt sense will release shocks in the nervous system, either low

grade shocks or intense shocks, and the key to great coaching and therapeutic

work is to locate the shocks and help them safely release from the nervous

system in a loving and compassionate way.

Key points of working with the felt sense

1. Be careful to not re-traumatize yourself or your clients.

• Create a container of safety and self love for exploring the felt sense.

• Don’t push yourself into the felt sense until it feels safe.



2. Most of what blocks your felt sense are survival strategies.

• Survival strategies sit inside the body as areas of tension or numbness.

• Tapping into the felt sense also helps move survival strategies.

3. Gently encourage it.

• It takes courage and openness to open up to the felt sense, so gently,

repeatedly encourage it.

• Don’t judge or criticize it.

• If you can’t access it, create more safety and love until you can experience

it.

Sometimes, thoughts and emotions will arise, and you can let that flow but

always return to the sensations and the felt sense.


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SLRC T1 M1 Lecture - static.laylamartin.com