HHT Manual v2014

CFC Singles for Christ HOUSEHOLD HEADS TRAINING

_____________________________________________________________________________________________ SFC PFO. March 10, 2014. 104 pages

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HOUSEHOLD HEADS TRAINING

Manual v.2014



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS TRAINING Table of Contents

Chapter 1: Overview of the Training

A. About the HHT B. Goals of the HHT C. Qualifications of the New Household Leaders D. Conduct of HHT

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3 3 3

3-4

Chapter 2: Household Heads Orientation

A. About the HHO B. Conduct of the HHO

C. The Sessions and Workshops D. Suggested HHO Schedule

E. Notes on the HHO F. Proposed Scheduling of HHO and HHTS

G. Expanded HHO Talk Outlines Talk 1 - Being a Servant

Talk 2 - The Household Talk 3 - Building Relationships

Talk 4 - Zeal and Single-mindedness for God

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6 6

6 6-7

7-8 8-9

10

14 30

37

Chapter 3: Household Heads Teaching Series

A. About the HHTS

B. Conduct of the HHTS C. The HHTS Sessions

D. Suggested HHTS Schedule E. Expanded HHTS Talk Outlines

Talk 1 - Brotherly Love

Talk 2 - Prayer and Intercession Talk 3 - Faith in God and Humble Leadership

Talk 4 - Good Example and Evangelistic Headship Talk 5 - Correction and Encouragement

Talk 6 - Evaluation

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48

48 48

48

49

53 60

69 77

85 Chapter 4: Annexes

A. HHO Workshops Workshop 1 - Conducting One to ones

Workshop 2 - Leading a Prayer Meeting Workshop 3 - Worship Leading --- In the House

of the Lord

90

91

94 99



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CFC-SINGLES FOR CHRIST

HOUSEHOLD HEADS TRAINING (HHT)

Attention to the Chapter Leaders

The past 20 years of CFC Singles for Christ is God’s affirmation of His great love for us

and the ministry. We are thus entrusted with the great and essential task of paving the way for the next 20 years of our ministry’s life and mission. Your role of training

our new Household Heads is vital in making sure that all our members will experience the same love that will nourish and form them to be future bearers of God’s light. We honor you for saying ‘YES’ in leading this training. This manual will be your guide to the new SFC HHT.

About the HHT

This training is catered for SFC members who were chosen and discerned to be

potential household heads. They should have finished at least the SFC Covenant Orientation Weekend.

Goals of the HHT

1. Equip the members with the knowledge and skills they will need as household heads.

2. Educate the members on their roles and responsibilities as well as the culture

they should help build in their areas as household heads. 3. Empower the soon to be household heads to carry out their anointed role

relying on the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit

Qualifications for new Household Heads

1. He or she must be an active member of SFC for at least one (1) year.

2. He or she must have attended already the Covenant Orientation Weekend (COW).

3. Candidates are recommended by their existing Household Heads for the approval of the Chapter Leaders before undergoing the training.

Conduct of the HHT

1. The HHT is to be conducted at the chapter level led by the SFC Chapter Leaders.

2. The HHT has two parts: Part 1 - Household Heads Orientation and Workshops



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(HHO), and Part 2 - Household Heads Teaching Series (HHTS).

3. The Household Heads Orientation (HHO), consisting of four talks and three workshops, is given prior to the Household Heads assuming their positions.

4. The Household Heads Teaching Series (HHTS) is composed of 6 talks. Ideally, these are to be given in 6 separate monthly sessions. Thus the whole HHT will

be completed within six months. 5. Members who have completed the HHT do not automatically become

Household Heads or Facilitators in the next CLP. If serious character concerns and issues arise, they can be removed from the list of potential household

heads. 6. The SFC Unit Heads will be the service team together with the SFC Chapter

Leaders to facilitate more leaders’ interaction within the chapter. Existing Household Leaders may also help as part of the service team but at the same time experiencing the Sessions and Workshops as a refresher.



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Household Heads Orientation (HHO)



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION (HHO)

About the HHO

The Household Heads Orientation (HHO) aims to set the hearts of the newly

discerned leaders for the task ahead and to equip them with the basic leadership knowledge and skills that are needed.

Conduct of the HHO

1. The HHO is a 1 whole day (or 2 half days) activity conducted on a Chapter level. It is recommended that this is done during the last quarter of the year.

(see related Table 1 on page 8) 2. Chapter leaders will facilitate the HHO with the help of the Unit Heads and

the existing Household Heads. 3. After the HHO, the Household Heads Training Series (HHTS) should follow

immediately to support the continuity of their formation and growth.

Sessions

A.1. Household Heads Orientation (HHO) Talk 1 - Being a Servant

Talk 2 - The Household: Purpose, Dynamics and Leadership Talk 3 - Building Relationships Talk 4 - Zeal and Single-mindedness for God

A.2. Household Heads Orientation Workshops

Workshop 1 - Conducting One to Ones Workshop 2 - Leading a Prayer Meeting and Giving a Talk Workshop 3 - Leading a Worship

Suggested whole day format of the HHO

8:00 AM Arrival & Registration

8:30 Opening Worship 8:45 Ice Breaker

9:00 Talk 1: Being a Servant 9:45 Talk 2: The Household

10:30 Snacks/Energizer



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10:45 Talk 3: Building Relationships

11:30 Workshop 1: Conducting One to Ones 12:15 PM Lunch

1:00 Team Building/Energizer 1:15 Workshop 2: Leading a Prayer Meeting and Giving a Talk

2:15 Workshop 3: Leading a Worship 3:15 Snacks/Energizer

3:30 Talk 4: Zeal and single-mindedness for God 4:30 Open Forum

5:00 Closing Prayer Optional half-day format:

Day 1 12:30 PM Arrival & Registration

1:00 Opening Worship 1:15 Ice Breaker

1:30 Talk 1: Being a Servant 2:15 Talk 2: The Household

3:00 Break / Team Building Energizer 3:15 Talk 3: Building Relationship

4:00 Workshop: How to Conduct One to One 5:00 Closing Prayer

Day 2

12:30 PM Arrival & Registration 1:00 Ice Breaker 1:15 Workshop: Leading a Prayer Meeting 2:15 Workshop: How to lead the Worship 3:15 Snacks / Team Building Energizer

3:30 Talk 4: Zeal and single-mindedness for God 4:15 Open Forum

5:00 Closing Prayer

Notes on the HHO

1. The worship may be led by an SFC Unit Head or an SFC Household Head.

2. The talks are encouraged to be given by an SFC Chapter Leader, SFC Unit Head or an SFC Household Head.

3. The workshops may be given by an SFC Chapter Leader or an SFC Unit Head. 4. The open forum is handled by the SFC Chapter Leaders.

5. Creative activities (e.g. ice breakers, energizers, team-buildings, etc.) are included in the program to facilitate ample interaction among the leaders



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within the chapter.

6. Workshops are included as well to train the incoming Household Heads on some of their technical duties such as leading a worship, giving a talk,

conducting one to ones and leading a prayer meeting. 7. An open forum is suggested to be conducted at the end of the HHO to

entertain and address clarifications/questions from the trainees.

Table 1: Proposed Scheduling of HHO and HHTS with respect to our yearly Calendar.

Month Activity

January CFC Conference Evangelization Training HHTS

February SFC Icon CLP Training for Batch 1

March CO Weekend for Batch 2

CLP Batch 1

April

CLP Batch 1

May CLP Batch 1 ANCOP Global Walk

June

CFC Anniversary Week

July ReCon CLP Training

August ReCon CO Weekend for Batch 1 CLP Batch 2

September ReCon

CLP Batch 2

October

CLP Batch 2

HHO HHTS

November CLP Batch 2 HHTS

December HHTS

Christmas Party

Legend:

CFC Activity CLP Batch 2 SFC Activity Proposed yearly schedule of HHO and HHTS CLP Batch 1



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Notes on the HHT Scheduling

For the SFC International Missions

HHO and HHTS implementation follows the recommended template as shown above.

Variables to be considered are the schedule of the Regional/National Conferences.

The HHTS sessions may be adjusted to accommodate event/conference preparations.



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION TALK No. 1 : BEING A SERVANT Expanded Outline A. Introduction.

1. In order to be better Christian servants, we need to understand the nature of

Christian service.

a) We need to ask ourselves:

Why do we serve?

Who are we as servants?

How do we serve?

b) In order to answer these, we need a vision of reality that can clearly point out to us the whole approach to service that we are to take. We need to see the reality in the world around us not in the way that the world sees it, but in the way God sees it.

2. There are two basic realities that we need to see.

a) There are two kingdoms opposed to one another, the kingdom of darkness

under Satan and the kingdom of light under our Lord.

Satan has real spiritual power (Ephesians 6:12). He has forces under his control which are opposed to God and His followers.

Our enemy is not principally social problems, human weakness, lack of education, etc., but a whole kingdom. Our battle is a spiritual one.

Thus anything we do that involves taking someone from the dominion of Satan into the kingdom of light will involve us in this battle for the

hearts and minds of men. Any Christian service is automatically spiritual warfare.

b) Man is in sin and bondage and needs to be redeemed.

The fundamental problem of the world is not social ills (this is just the manifestation of the problem) but sin.

Man needs to be reconciled with God, and only Jesus is able to do this.

We are the instruments that God uses to bring other men back to Him.



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c) The above two realities should form our vision for our Christian service.

3. Christian service is not simply what you do, but who or what you are as you

do it.

a) The emphasis is on being a servant rather than on doing service. b) Luke 10:38-42. The story of Martha and Mary.

B. There are three important New Testament passages that we will examine in order

to clarify our understanding of what it means to be a servant.

1. Luke 17:7-10. The duty of a servant.

a) We have lost touch with the real meaning of the word "servant" as understood in Jesus' time.

During those times, a servant (or slave) was someone who was another person's property and had no rights whatsoever.

Thus Jesus' story must have been amusing to his listeners. They could not comprehend a situation where the servant is served by his master.

b) We are the Lord's servants. We have been bought at the price of his blood. We no longer own ourselves. We are to be men and women who serve the Lord without regard for ourselves.

2. Philippians 2:5-8. The identity of a servant.

a) Christian service is not just another avenue for self-fulfillment. We have no basis for insisting that God give us work to do that suits our personality,

interests or personal gains.

b) The Christian doesn't seek to serve himself. Rather, he humbles himself and puts himself at the disposal of everyone else.

Jesus' example.

3. Hebrew 5:8. The obedience of a servant.

a) A requirement of the lordship of Jesus and our own servanthood is obedience to his authority.

Obedience cannot be halfway or half-hearted. Either Jesus is Lord of

all areas of our life, or our ascription of master and Lord to him is meaningless.



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C. Obstacles to obedience.

1. Natural disinclination to being a "servant".

a) We think of "servants" as lowly, doing menial work, unable to become

better on their own.

b) Solution: Correct concept of being the Lord's servant.

2. Natural disinclination to think of other people first instead of ourselves.

a) We often think first of what is good for us, what will fulfill us.

b) Solution: A fundamental reorientation of our lives.

Realize that a servant of the Lord never goes into a situation for

himself, but always looking out for how he can serve others.

3. Human rebelliousness.

a) Our fallen nature is inclined to say "I will not serve".

b) Solution: Repent, and resolve to obey.

4. Lack of trust (in the Lord, our heads, our brothers and sisters).

a) If I obey, will they take care of me? Can I rely on them?

b) Solution: Have faith!

Realize that God calls us to serve Him and will care for us as a loving Father.

Realize that God puts other people in headship position over us and He works through them.

Realize that God has called us into SFC to experience brotherhood and sisterhood in the Lord.

D. Growing into maturity as Christian servants.

1. The Lord does not just want us to be enthusiastic and willing servants, but he wants us to be mature Christian servants. He wants people he can truly count on.

2. Some signs of maturity:



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a) Christian wisdom and teachings are being applied to your lives.

b) Relationships (both with the Lord and with one another) are strong and full.

c) Faithfulness characterizes your lives.

Daily personal prayer.

Attendance at meetings.

Fidelity to service assigned.

d) You are men and women of your word. You can make commitments and stick to them.

e) You are working on the various obstacles and shortcomings in your lives as

Christians.

Every new day should be taken as an opportunity to become more

Christ-like.

f) You are servants who can serve without having to be acknowledged,

appreciated or rewarded.

Though God and SFC do appreciate your efforts, our motivation is not

reward or recognition. We simply serve out of our love for God and neighbor.

E. Conclusion.

1. The cost of servanthood. 2 Cor 11:23-28.

a) Perhaps none of us would ever have to go through Paul's experiences. But being God's servant will involve some hardship and suffering.

b) All the difficulties involved with being a servant will produce joy for us. There is a purpose for the difficulty.

2. Our lives are like a grain of wheat. Jn 12:24-26.

a) To be fruitful we must fall into the ground and die.

We die to our self-interest.

We put the Lord first.

b) Our dying to ourselves is life-giving to others.

3. We are all privileged to be the Lord's servants.



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION TALK No. 2 : THE HOUSEHOLD Expanded Outline I. THE HOUSEHOLD

A. Definition

A household is a grouping of singles who meet regularly during the week for personal sharing and for mutual support and encouragement in the Christian life. As such, the household is the basic unit in the pastoral structure of CFC

Singles for Christ (SFC).

B. Purpose

The purpose of the household group is to build an environment for the support of the Christian life of singles and to provide a means of encou raging and hastening growth in the Christian life. As such, the household:

1. Builds faith and provides for mutual encouragement through the

sharing of life experiences and God’s practical wisdom. 2. Provides friendship and brotherhood/sisterhood, without which our

Christian life lacks joyful expression. 3. Provides support for each other’s needs. 4. Helps people overcome obstacles to growth in the Christian life.

C. Composition

A household is composed of four to seven (4-7) singles including the household head. The household is comprised of singles who finished the Christian Life Program (CLP) and who have made their commitment to the covenant of the CFC Singles for Christ. The household is set up immediately after the end of the CLP. In succeeding years (at least, after one year), there would be occasions when households would be reorganized. During these occasions membership will be changed and redistributed to other households, units and chapters.



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D. Necessity of Household Membership

Every SFC member is to belong to one household as one of its members. SFC leaders (Household Heads, Unit Heads, and Chapter Leaders) all belong to households for their own personal support in the Christian life. Thus, every SFC leader participates in two households, one which he leads and the other where he in turn is led.

E. The Household Head

1. Definition

The household head is the SFC brother or sister appointed to take care of a household.

2. The Role of the Household Head

a. The Household Head is the designated leader over a group of

singles and is responsible for all the activities of the household and for the good order of the household meeting.

meeting

sharing/discussion

honor and respect

b. The Household Head acts as an older brother/sister to the group.

Establishes strong personal relationships with his members.

Gets help for them whenever it is available.

Gives direction and listens completely to his members. Ideally, at least, once a month through one-to-one sessions.

c. He/she gives pastoral support through household meetings done at

a minimum of two (2) times a month.

d. He/she also encourages his/her members to receive additional pastoral support as they take part in the monthly Chapter Prayer Assembly and Chapter Teaching Assembly as scheduled by the Chapter Leaders.

e. He/she helps each member to be fully integrated into the household and into CFC Singles for Christ.



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f. He/she has no authority over members’ lives but exercises concern

for their lives, especially in the areas of righteousness and good order.

g. He/she supports the life in SFC and the decisions of its elders.

Does not use the household meeting to ventilate

disagreements with SFC, CFC or its elders. In case of such disagreement, he/she takes this up with his/her Unit Head.

Supports fully any decision on movements of singles from one household to another, and helps these members make their movements with ease and with minimal difficulty.

h. Raises up and recommends potential new household heads to

undergo the Household Heads Training (HHT) which is under the supervision of his/her Chapter leaders.

3. Qualifications of a Household Head

The household head is selected based on the following criteria:

a. Availability

b. Formation

growing spiritually

good order in personal life

a good appreciation of the vision, mission and culture of SFC

faithful to SFC commitments

has taken the COW

c. Personal Characteristics

emotionally stable

able to accept correction and direction

has a good reputation

d. Skills

ability to handle a group discussion

good listening and communication skills ability to provide adequate directions to members regarding

SFC commitments

e. An active member of SFC for at least one year.



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F. Attitudes of a Household Head

In order to properly function in a way that would truly be helpful to the members of the household, the household head needs to have some basic

attitudes, to wit:

1. He/she must have the mind and heart of a servant. Just like the Lord Jesus, he/she must come to serve rather than be served. His/her service

should be an expression of love for the Lord. He/she should be humble in service and put the interest of his/her members first. He/she should be obedient to the Lord and to those whom the Lord has put in charge of his/her service.

2. He/she must look upon the singles under him/her as being given by the Lord, to be cared for adequately. He/she has the responsibility to look

after their spiritual welfare, a charge coming directly from the Lord.

3. The household head must love them as brothers or sisters. They are not just good friends, but family.

4. He/she must serve with gladness and joy. No matter what one’s

difficulties are, how badly the day went, how strained one’s relationships with his/her family and friends are at the moment. The household head

needs to have the joy of the Lord, the joy of serving Him, the joy that transcends all earthly difficulties. How he/she conducts himself/herself

will provide a living example to those who have been put in his/her care.

5. He/she must serve in trust and confidence. He/she needs to realize that since the Lord has called him/her to do His work, then the Lord will equip him/her with the wisdom and guidance necessary to be an effective

instrument of His will.

G. Some Areas of Challenge

The household head is not expected to exercise pastoral headship over

his/her group, but he/she would normally encounter certain pastoral challenges which he/she cannot avoid or should not avoid, but for which

he/she should prudently seek help from the elders.

The household head should refer all serious pastoral concerns to his/her Unit Head, who is the pastor of the members of the unit, which includes the

household. Of course, the Unit Head can direct the household head to handle the situation himself/herself, with some input from him/her. But ultimately it



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is the responsibility and concern of the Unit Head. Putting it within the

context of a family (which a household is), the household head is the big brother/sister while the Unit Head is the father/mother.

Some examples of issues that need to be referred to the Unit Head are:

1. Serious relationship problems within the single’s family.

2. Issues which pastorally affect the unit or across units, e.g., financial borrowing without proper consultation and clearance.

3. Unfaithfulness of members to meetings, requiring a decision to retain or drop a member from SFC.

4. Slander or gossip which erodes relationships within the household/unit or across units.

5. Serious wrongdoing.

6. Moral and theological questions, such as taxes, bribery vs. extortion, penance, the sacraments, etc.

7. Proselytizing and ecumenical relationships.

H. Practical Considerations

Some of the concrete things the household head can and should do are:

1. Handle the practical concerns for household meetings.

a. places of meetings b. topics for discussion/sharing

c. regulating an over-sharing member d. how to stop gossip in the meeting e. bringing the discussion to the agenda and keeping it on course

2. Know each member well. Keep notes on each one.

3. Be prayerful.

a. Pray for each member regularly during his own personal prayer time. b. Spend time praying before the household meeting and entrusting it

to the Lord. c. Pray over members when appropriate (birthdays, anniversaries,

when sick, for inner healing, etc.)

4. Be prepared and have an agenda. In other words, rely on the Lord, but also do your part.

5. Focus on spiritual growth and God's power rather than on problems.

However, be sensitive to personal problems.



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6. Get the group to make agreements and account to one another

regarding: a. time of meeting, punctuality

b. right way of speaking about others c. negative humor

I. Others

1. Always work on the faithfulness of members. Attendance at the household meetings is part of a member's commitment and is a must.

2. Refer all frequent absentees to your Unit Head. Together you can discuss

the particular situation and decide on a course of action. Remember: the

strength of the body will depend on its members' faithfulness and commitment.

3. Always be on the lookout for potential leaders (CLP discussion leaders,

speakers, and household heads) and inform your Unit Heads or Chapter Leaders about them. We want to identify them early, chart their

development and at the opportune time let them serve. Remember that SFC can only grow in number to the extent that our leadership resources

allow.

4. Study and read, especially the books we publish. Keep ahead of your members.

5. Don't use the household meeting to ventilate your own personal

problems, nor seek help for such problems from the household members under you. Rather, bring these to your Unit Head and to the unit household of which you are a member.

6. If for any reason you feel you cannot do the job as a household head

adequately, discuss this with your Unit Head so that appropriate action can be taken. Don't just let it go, with the result that your household

members suffer.

II. THE HOUSEHOLD MEMBERS

A. Attitudes of Household Members

In order to reap the full benefits to be offered by participation in a household

group, its members have to foster some basic attitudes, such as:



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1. Openness – One has to be open to what the Lord wants to give through

the household group. One should realize that this is part of God's work and in conformity with His plan for each person, and should therefore be

expectant and desirous of what is in store for him/her. Concretely, one should share about his/her personal life and relationship with the Lord in

a spirit of openness.

2. Confidentiality – Household members are encouraged to share of their personal lives, including their concerns and difficulties, in the meetings.

And this can be done only in an atmosphere of confidentiality. Whatever is shared in the meetings should not be shared outside with anyone else.

a. Note: The Household Heads may share concerns to their service

head or Unit Head, who are extensions of their service and care for

household members. This is not a breach of confidentiality.

b. The prohibition on sharing with outsiders excludes the positive factors in one's life. These in effect can be shared by the members

outside the household meeting whenever there is an appropriate opportunity so that others can also be built up and encouraged.

3. Faithfulness – One has to make the twice a month household meeting a

priority in his/her life and be regular in attendance. Only with continuity and one's personal commitment can the purpose of household groups be

achieved.

4. Participation – Each member has to come to the meetings prepared both spiritually and practically, and have the attitude of wanting to make a contribution to the life of the meeting. Think not only of what you can get out of the meeting but of what you can impart to the brothers and sisters. This is done by active participation in worship, in sharing and

discussion, and in fellowship. It is important that each member supports the good order of the weekly meeting and relates to everyone in the

group with honor and respect, especially to the household head.

5. Love – The idea, after all, is to foster active concern and commitment to one another. One has to look on the other members of the group as not

just so many new friends, but as brothers and sisters in the Lord, among whom mutual love is the common denominator.

B. Attendance

1. Each member is expected to attend the twice a month meetings faithfully, and indeed this is part of one's commitment to the covenant of



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SFC. Of course, certain obstacles will come up, such as sickness. What is

important is that one should accord top priority to these meetings and really desire not to be absent from them.

2. Since attendance is part of one's commitment and since the very purpose

of household groups would be defeated by frequent absences (indicating a lack of interest), such absences form sufficient ground for one's

separation from SFC. Household heads should follow up on absent members and try to renew their interest and commitment. If

unsuccessful, the matter should be referred to the Unit Head for appropriate action.

3. The household head has no authority to grant leaves of absence to his

household members. Any such requests should be referred to the Unit

Head.

III. THE HOUSEHOLD MEETINGS

A. Frequency

1. Households meet twice a month for household (the other two is

dedicated for Chapter Prayer Assemblies and Chapter Teaching Assemblies), on the same day of the week as mutually agreed on by the

members. Less than once a week would not provide enough contact to have adequate support and encouragement in the Christian life. More

than once a week may take time that is more properly allocated to work, family, personal needs or Christian service.

2. The household head cannot skip or cancel any meeting, except as

provided for below, or as approved by the Unit Head due to a serious

reason.

3. If the household head cannot be present at a scheduled household meeting (of course for a valid reason), he/she should not cancel the

meeting. Rather, he/she must refer the matter to the Unit Head. Together, they will agree on a replacement, either one of the

brothers/sisters from the household or another brother/sister from the unit.

4. Exceptions to the weekly household meetings are the following:

a. During the weeks when the monthly Chapter Prayer Assembly and

Chapter Teaching Assembly are held.



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b. During special times such as Holy Week and Christmas break.

4. When a whole household serves in a CLP, the household will still meet

for their regular prayer meetings at a minimum of twice (2x) a month.

Continuing to meet is essential so that the members continue receiving personal life support, and not just meet for service, which is

the CLP.

B. Venue

The household meeting is to be held in the home of one of the members of the group. The meeting place is rotated among the homes of each member. Having the household meeting in the homes of the household members has the following values:

1. Worshipping the Lord in our homes makes the truth that the home is a small church a concrete reality. And God's blessings will surely descend

upon the home where God's people can be found, worshipping Him together and growing in their faith together.

2. The people in our home – our brothers and sisters, maybe our parents,

our household help, the people who are closest to us and whom we love – will be aware of what we are involved in and what we do every week. To them we will become people who are living their Christian faith openly and powerfully.

3. What we do in our homes can be an effective tool for evangelism,

especially to our residential household, to our neighbors and to other relatives and friends.

C. Ingredients of a Household Meeting

A typical household meeting would involve three indispensable ingredients:

(1) worship and prayer,

(2) a time of sharing or teaching or discussion, and (3) sometime for fellowship.

All three are very important and none should be skipped or simply glossed over.



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1. Worship.

a. The worship portion should include all the necessary ingredients:

singing

praising

thanksgiving prayers of petition

intercession

Every member should become familiar and comfortable with our way of worship and praise, and the household head shows the way.

b. A typical format for the time of worship could be as follows:

come before the Lord (may be a short period of silence and/or a

short exhortation from the leader) sing a lively song of praise

simultaneous vocal praising

sing another song, then more praising sing a worship song

singing in tongues, followed by a short period of silence bring forward words from the Lord (prophecy, inspired Scripture

verses, exhortations) individual prayers of thanksgiving

individual prayers of petition and intercession

closing prayer by the leader

c. Members should be exhorted by the head to participate actively in the singing, praising and prayers of thanksgiving and petition. They should also be encouraged to exercise the spiritual gifts of prophecy, inspired Scripture reading and exhortation.

d. The household head leads in the worship. As a general rule, he/she

should not delegate his/her responsibility to the others. However, every once in a while (not too often), he/she may ask another

brother/sister to lead, for the purpose of training. But most if not all the time, he/she leads.

e. Ideally, someone in the group should play the guitar. A piano or other

musical instrument would be alternatives, if available and practicable. If no one can play, then it would be advisable to make use of our song tapes/cds, where songs have been arranged in groups of three precisely for use in household worship.



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f. The worship is done standing up for the whole duration. Exceptions

would be sick or weak members.

2. For the time of sharing, teaching or discussion, SFC households are designed to have separate meetings for the male households and the

women households.

Some advantages of this arrangement are as follows:

a. Members are more free to share, especially of their difficulties, when members of the opposite gender are not around.

b. Practically speaking, there would not be enough time (at least quality

time) for everyone to share.

c. It's an opportunity for the men to be supported by the brothers as

Christian men and the women by the sisters as Christian women.

Note that joint households occur ONLY in the Chapter level. As such, the time for sharing, teaching or discussion in such

occasions can be also joint or separate. This arrangement depends, of course, on what is to be taken up at the discretion of

the Chapter Leaders.

On very, very special (and rather limited) occasions, a male household and a female household from two different units may have a joint household upon the request of their household heads. This arrangement DEPENDS on the purpose of the joint activity, the topic to be taken up, and upon the permission and approval of the Unit Heads and Chapter Leaders.

Other than that, the male and female households would meet separately. Anyway, interaction among the households occur twice (2x) a month during the monthly Chapter Prayer Assembly and Chapter Teaching Assembly.

3. The last part, fellowship, is the time for socializing.

a. The host of household meeting usually prepares a very simple snack.

Here it must be kept in mind that the food is incidental to the

fellowship, rather than the fellowship being centered on the food. Furthermore, no member should be burdened by the snack's cost or

needed time for preparation, nor should any host ever be pressured in "keeping up" with a fellow member's extravagance.



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b. The host says the grace before the meal.

c. Absolutely no alcoholic beverages are to be served for this part of the

household meeting.

4. The evening ends with a short closing prayer by the Household Head.

D. Duration

1. Ordinarily, the household meeting is held after dinner on a weekday.

However, other mutually acceptable times are possible. The whole meeting would typically run for about 2 1/2 hours, as follows:

Worship – 30 minutes Sharing/teaching/discussion – 60-90 minutes

Fellowship – 30-60 minutes

Of course, there is some flexibility and there could be variations on the above time frames.

2. As much as possible, household meetings should start at the agreed time,

even if not everyone has arrived. The household head should not wait for everyone. He/she should not make the meeting and everyone else a

captive of someone else's lack of commitment to punctuality. Besides, this may be the only way to get chronic latecomers to mend their ways.

So if necessary, the household head should start the worship even if only he/she and the host are around.

3. The meeting should not end too late, say, not later than 11 p.m. If the

meeting can start earlier, so much the better. If the meeting goes beyond

11 p.m., this should be the exception rather than the rule.

E. Social Night

1. The household may decide to have a social night on occasion. A social

night is a time devoted to fellowship, with no formal worship, discussion or sharing.

2. It is recommended that a social night be held once a quarter, on the

month where there is a 5th week. If the members want to have a social night more often, then it should be done outside the time allocated for

regular household meetings. Some possibilities: meet during the Chapter



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Prayer/Teaching Assembly week; or have a Lord's Day celebration

together.

3. Various activities are possible. Members may have dinner together, at a home or outside, or go out somewhere together (at a party or disco, go

bowling, etc.), or even decide to have a whole-day outing. There is a lot of flexibility, and the idea is just to enjoy each other's company socially and

become intimate friends as well as brothers or sisters in the Lord.

IV. TOPICS FOR MEETINGS

A. For the first year (for the new members right after the CLP), the household meetings are used to follow up on the topics in the teaching formation.

Thus the first year would look like this:

Year 1 Teaching Household Topics 3 months CLP 3 months COW Introduction to new Household

3 months COW Follow-up topics

3 months KT/PD KT/PD Follow-up topics

In the second year and beyond, the topics of the household meetings are also a follow up of the SFC teaching formation (Topics can be found in the

Household Heads Manual) or it could either be any of the following:

Personal Sharing Bible Sharing

Topical discussions

Aside from the household meetings, the members will still have their regular monthly Chapter Prayer Assembly and Chapter Teaching Assembly.

The above cycle provides enough variety so as to make household meetings always interesting and life giving. Of course, the household head is free to

deviate from this cycle as he/she sees fit.

B. Personal Sharing

Personal sharing is telling our brothers and sisters about what has been happening in our lives for the past month, with a particular focus on what the Lord has been doing in our lives. Personal sharing is an essential element in



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building up our relationship with our brothers and sisters. As we open up our

lives to them and they become an intimate part of our lives.

1. If the household head opts for personal sharing, it can either be done by just encouraging the members to share as they are led, or by using a set

of questions which can guide the members in their sharing. As a framework to provide shape and direction, questions can be an effective

means to lively personal interaction. One can develop and use one's own questions, just so long as they suit the needs of the members and can

effectively draw out people. 2. Sample questions are as follows:

a. How have you grown in your relationship with the Lord? Have you

come before the Lord faithfully in personal prayer?

b. In what ways were you aware of the Lord's presence or action in your life during the past week/month?

c. What has the Lord been telling you in your prayer time or Scripture

study this week/month? How have you responded?

d. Have you conducted yourself righteously in thought, word or action?

e. In what ways has the Lord used you to serve others this past week/month?

f. What change has the Lord been asking you in order that you might

grow in loving your brothers and sisters?

C. Bible sharing

Bible sharing is a way for us to be more familiar with the Word of God, as we share about it every month. Bible sharing is not Bible study as such, but a way

of drawing insights from the Bible and allowing God to speak to us personally through His written Word. Various methods of Bible sharing could be utilized.

We however recommend the "7 step" method of Bible sharing.

1. Invite the Lord

2. Read the text 3. Pick out words and meditate on them

4. Let God speak to us in silence 5. Share what we have heard in our hearts



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6. Discuss any task which our group is called to do

7. Pray together spontaneously

Note: See detailed process of 7 Step Method of Bible Sharing in Household Heads Manual Annexes.

D. Topical discussion

This is a time for formal discussion of a Christian topic. These topics could be anything that has to do with the Christian life, which would be profitable for our members to gain greater understanding. Especially recommended are those topics that have to do with the life, mission, covenant and culture of SFC.

1. For example, such topics are:

a. Personal daily prayer time

b. Daily reading of the Bible c. Living fully the Christian life

- avoidance of wrongdoing - good order in private life

- participation in Church life d. Living as a good Christian in our family

e. Christian manly and womanly character f. Christian courtship

g. Christian service h. Christian fellowship i. Priority setting/weekly schedule j. TV and media k. Spiritual gifts

2. Furthermore, certain publications, sharing or teachings may be used

as a household meeting topic, to wit:

a. Teachings contained in our newsletter. b. Topics contained in the various books that we publish.

c. Articles of interest in "God's Word Today" or other similar prayer or Scripture guides.

d. Teachings or exhortations given at the monthly prayer meeting. e. Taped talks or teachings by renowned personages.

It should be noticed that this cycle of topics for the second year and beyond

is such that there is no burden on the household head to be always thinking up of what to take up during the household meetings.



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1. For personal sharing, the household head would simply moderate the sharing and keep the interaction active and life giving.

2. For the Bible sharing, the household head merely chooses the particular verses to be taken up.

3. For the topical discussion, the household head chooses the topic, taking from the vast array of materials available to him/her. Thus he

simply moderates the discussion. Thus the household heads are not burdened by "technical" preparation for the meetings, but can focus

more on "spiritual" preparation.

This cycle is something the household head is free to follow or not. The household head has a good amount of flexibility as to how to handle the household meeting and what to take up. The important thing is that the

conduct of the meeting contributes to the achievement of the stated purpose of our having households and that is to build an environment of support for

the Christian life of our members.

V. GROUP ACTIVITIES

A. Aside from what has been taken up as proper to the activities of a household

group, there are many other things that can be done as well. It is up to the household head to discern the needs of his/her members individually and as

a group, and to act accordingly. These other activities may be in lieu of the normal household activity (with approval of the Unit Head) or in addition to

it. Some such activities are:

1. Healing sessions/praying over 2. Intercessory prayers 3. One-to-one

4. Video sessions 5. Socials (sports, outings, picnics, etc.)

6. Lord's Day celebration

B. Other activities are welcome so long as they make a positive contribution to

the support and strengthening of the Christian life of single men and women, within the context of SFC.



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION TALK No. 3 : BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS Expanded Outline A. Introduction.

1. You are all called to do God's work in SFC.

a) This is very important work. You are leaders of cell groups which make up the basic support structure for CFC members.

b) You need to respond humbly and fully.

2. You are all new to this kind of pastoral leadership. God is doing something

new.

a) Do not feel unworthy, for God Himself Who calls you will also empower you.

b) You are all learning and growing in your ability to serve in this new way.

Look to growing in confidence and capability each new day.

3. You yourselves are all under pastoral care, not only for your personal lives but also for your service.

a) We leaders in SFC are not serving in isolation from one another, but rather as a network of pastoral leaders serving together.

Encourage one another. Learn from one another.

Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit.

b) Just be open to those over you regarding any aspect of your service.

B. How should you relate to your Unit Head?

1. Understand your relationship with him/her.

a) He/she is committed to you and the members of your group. You can call



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on him/her anytime for support, advice or prayers. He/she is for you.

b) His/her desire is to see you develop and grow in your service and in your life and to see your members grow in the Lord.

c) Don't hold back from telling him/her your problems in leading the group.

Don't think that you've always got to give a good report. We are looking for a realistic assessment to see God's will regarding your group.

Don't protect your members from him/her.

2. What to talk to your Unit Head about?

a) The Household.

Are your members relating to one another well?

Are they free to share with one another?

Do they worship freely together?

Do they ever do anything together outside of the household meeting?

How is their general attitude towards SFC?

b) Individual members.

How are they growing in Christ?

Daily prayer?

Relationship with their family?

Relationship with authority? Yours and overall SFC?

Problems if any.

c) Developing a pastoral vision for the household.

Have some goals in mind for the whole household and discuss them with your Unit Head. What do they need?

Have some goals for the individual members in your household. What does each one need? Do not be ruled by what each member wants.

In both, pray and seek God's will.



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d) Your time and service.

Do you have enough time for yourself, family, romantic relationship, job and service?

What are the extra demands of your household that pulls you down?

How are you experiencing your service? Are you growing in confidence? Do you need more help?

C. Note that your role as a household head is not just to relate to your unit head.

1. You are to reach out also to your members and help move them on in their relationship with the Lord and as brethren in CFC.

a) It involves continuing evangelization.

b) It is based on a personal caring relationship.

2. Being household leaders involves the exercise of what we call "evangelistic headship".

D. Elements of evangelistic headship. 1 Thessalonians 2:7-12.

1. Gentleness (v.7).

a) Do not come down too hard on your member's shortcomings.

Do not be abrasive or inflexible.

b) Be like a "nursing mother".

Be loving and gentle.

But be firm if there is a need. Even a mother corrects.

2. Personal concern (v.8).

a) It is not just a functional relationship.

You need to be friends.

Take an interest in their interests.

- Ask about their family, romantic relationship, work, personal

problems, etc.



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- Keep a journal so you can keep track.

Behind it all is setting your heart on them to love them.

b) We are all part of one body. We share a common life.

State your commitment to them and communicate your desire to serve them.

Make clear the relationship is one of brotherhood and service to them.

3. Diligence and perseverance (v.9).

a) Always be reaching out to them. It is a battle to change people and it will not just happen easily.

Exercise pastoral patience.

b) Be open and available. Let them have access to you.

But teach them to be reasonable in seeking you out (e.g., not in the middle of the night, except if there is a real emergency).

c) Meet outside regular meetings.

When the opportunity presents itself (or make your own opportunities), visit them at home or at work.

Have recreation together.

4. Integrity (v.10).

a) You must be a person who is beyond reproach.

b) It is not just a question of not sinning, but of not doing anything that can

subject you to criticism.

E.g., Borrowing money from your members. Lording it over them.

Being critical of SFC, and CFC as a community.

5. Encouragement (v.11-12).

a) Just like a father/mother to his/her children.

Provide encouragement, comfort, support.

b) Help them to know themselves.



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Say helpful things about difficulties.

Give them insights on why they do the things that they do.

Observe and notice them (how they pray, how they behave at meetings, how they handle their daily life, etc.) and give inputs from time to time.

c) Keep in touch with their concerns (family, health, school, occupation, love

life, etc.).

Communicate to them that you are aware of these.

Let them know that you are not just concerned about what you want them to do but also about their concerns.

d) Be able to laugh and cry with them. Identify with their joys and sorrows. Empathize.

When someone first opens up, be able to hold them up with your support.

They should not experience their life changing just independently, but rather, you carry them in your heart, and this is sometimes expressed

to them.

An important and interesting note: Notice that the above involves the whole range of caring that happens within a family. The household heads in certain ways act out the roles of mother, brother, sister and father to their members.

E. The effect of evangelistic headship. What is the desired response from the members?

1. Love

a) This is the call to every Christian. We are all to love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ.

b) But the caring relationship should reinforce and strengthen the members'

love for their leaders.

2. Confidence

a) This frees them to give themselves over to your headship.

They can let go of their self-protectiveness. They can put down their defenses.

It frees them to give of their whole selves.



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b) This opens them to receive advice and wisdom from you.

They become more ready to hear God's word coming from you. It does not become necessary to question all you say.

c) As you experience them putting more confidence in you, you become more free to give them more that you yourself have learned.

3. Respect

a) It is not enough to be loved. You need to be respected, if you are to be effective in helping them to change.

b) How do you earn respect?

Show them you respect them.

- Don't put them down. - Listen carefully.

Be straightforward and honest.

- Don't beat around the bush.

- Let them know what your mind really is. - Give them a fair and honest evaluation.

Be able to be firm when something needs to change.

- Be willing to take a stand, even though sometimes you can make concessions.

- You don't just give out love, advice, etc., but you also need to correct and admonish when necessary.

Don't be a know-it-all.

- You don't know everything and you can't solve all problems. Be willing to say "I don't know".

- Don't bluff. It will boomerang and you end up with even less credibility.

If the above desired response from members happens, then the result is

that they become more open to the word of God through you. They become more open to the work of the Holy Spirit. 1 Thessalonians 2:13.



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F. Conclusion.

1. You have the privilege to guide new SFC members in their new life in the

Lord.

a) Take this responsibility seriously.

b) Put your faith in Jesus.

2. People grow in confidence as they see you grow in holiness and in Christian

character.

a) 1 Timothy 4:12-16. You need to grow yourself.

Be an example and a model to others.

b) They must know that you can take them as far as God has taken you.

Be able to say: "Imitate me as I imitate Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1).



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION TALK No. 4 : ZEAL AND SINGLE-MINDEDNESS FOR GOD Expanded Outline

A. Introduction.

1. We must be men and women who passionately want to promote God's kingdom on earth. Thus, our hearts should be troubled whenever we find

anything that is not right with God.

2. Our "goodness" could be measured by the extent to which we feel a pure and growing hatred for evil.

B. Four kinds of "good" people.

1. Those who do no evil, yet do not devote themselves faithfully to doing good.

a) They lack other, more positive virtues.

b) Just like baptized infants.

2. Those who refrain from evil and also devote themselves to frequent good deeds, yet, while they do not neglect to do what good they can, they see no need to do more than that.

a) Just so much prayer, service, almsgiving, etc., are enough for them. They do not burn with a desire for a more complete holiness.

b) They remain quietly content with this spiritual level, and abandon higher things to others.

3. Those who detest and avoid wrongdoing, fervently commit themselves to

whatever good they can do, and desire greater personal holiness, yet lack equal concern for the holiness of others.

a) They eagerly desire the spiritual and internal virtues --fondness for

prayer, intimate knowledge of God, experience of divine love.

b) However they are not inflamed with fervent zeal against the vices of



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others or the dangers of their sins. They want everyone to be good and

live in grace, but feel no wound of sorrow when they see the opposite.

c) They remain intent upon God and themselves. They might put off caring for other people in order to preserve their own peace.

4. Those who avoid wrongdoing, practice virtue, are afire with zeal for personal righteousness, and have zeal for winning souls.

a) They obtain no comfort from progress toward their own salvation

unless they are also leading others to God.

b) Jesus' example: Although he always had complete joy in himself, he was not content only to possess glory, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, in order to lead many others into glory with him. Philippians 2:7.

c) As household heads, we should be this 4th kind of "good" Christian.

These make the best persons for leadership in SFC, given our evangelistic mission.

C. Zeal for righteousness stems from the very basis of our Christianity, namely, love of God and of neighbor.

1. A person who loves God not only desires to enjoy his goodness and be close to him, but loves to see his will accomplished, his worship carried out and his honor exalted. He wants all people to know, love, serve and honor God more than anything else.

2. A person who loves his neighbor desires not only health and prosperity for

him, but even more, eternal salvation.

3. Love of God and neighbor should cause us to mourn if God is dishonored or disobeyed, and if others are not in right relationship with Him.

4. Although all Christians should love their neighbor, this love for others is

especially necessary for those who are leaders.

a) Their position demands that they act on God's behalf. Thus their hearts should be as much moved by love of righteousness and hatred of evil as is God's heart.

b) Psalm 45:8. "You love justice and hate wickedness; therefore God, your

God, has anointed you..."



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D. Areas of concern (exercise of zeal) in our own lives and in the lives of our household members.

1. Growth in love for God and for neighbor. Selflessness.

2. Active participation in the life of the Church. Frequent reception of the sacraments.

3. Faithfulness to the covenant of SFC.

a) All SFC members have freely and willingly made their commitment to the Lord and to the body. They should live up to it.

b) Deuteronomy 23:22-24.

4. Areas not essential for salvation but desirable for making spiritual progress.

a) Faithfulness to and punctuality in meetings.

Household leaders show the way. If you have no enthusiasm, neither will your members.

b) Exercise of spiritual gifts.

Charismatic dimension. SFC's brand of spirituality.

c) Financial support for the CFC community.

This is not part of our covenant, but it is part of being a good

mature Christian. The money is used for evangelization, thus for winning souls.

d) Submission to headship.

Authority is a gift from God which is given to us as a means/help to move us on in our spiritual lives.

e) Avoidance of a critical spirit or attitude.

E. Two specific applications: Correction and Encouragement.



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Correction

1. At the heart of scriptural appreciation for correction is a hatred of sin, and a realization of human fallibility.

a) Psalm 141:5.

b) Thus zeal + love of neighbor = correction.

2. Deal with the wrongdoing of members.

a) Be simple and straightforward. Luke 17:3.

b) How?

Do not condone any wrongdoing nor concede that any wrongdoing

is acceptable. Do not allow any wrongdoing to remain unrepented of or

uncorrected.

Do not remain silent and pretend to know nothing when you ought to speak out.

Be in touch with your Unit Head.

c) Be authoritative.

Your authority comes from God and is to be exercised in the community where we have committed ourselves to.

Look to correction as a pastoral tool for growth.

3. Your accountability as head to correct.

a) You are God's representatives. You have been given responsibility over God's people. Your members look up to you and obey you because you

have the Lord's place.

Do not allow vices and bad practices to grow.

Do what you can to overcome wrongdoing.

b) If you neglect your duty, you will be accountable to God.

You would be guilty of neglect for not doing what your duty called for. Wisdom 6:4-5.

You would bear the guilt for the faults of your subordinates, in that you could and should have corrected them but didn't. Ezek. 33:8.

This is not to scare you, but to show the seriousness of your work.



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Encouragement

1. You also have a duty to encourage.

a) Not just correction (look at wrongs) but encouragement (look at what's right).

b) Not just criticism, but praise.

2. At the start of Jesus' ministry, God encouraged him.

a) Matthew 3:17.

Again at transfiguration. Matthew 17:5.

b) God is the source of all encouragement. Romans 15:5.

We follow His ways.

3. "Encourage" is a compound of two words": "en" = to put in or into, and "courage" = confidence, strength.

a) Thus literally, to encourage means to put courage into someone.

An encouraging person builds up and strengthens people by his presence and words.

He supports, not weakens.

b) How to encourage:

Comfort.

Support (situation where one cannot cope). Through words, advice, prayers or just presence.

Urge on/exhort. Motivate. Not so much comfort, but challenge.

Praise. E.g., honoring.

4. There is plenty of bad news around and unfortunately, people quickly respond to discouraging news.

a) God looks for eternal optimists, who can share that spirit with others.

God's news is good news, not bad. We are to bring the good news of liberty, joy, release, hope, comfort, etc.

b) We cannot encourage enough.

Many people have low self-esteem. They need to be affirmed.



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Our encouragement helps people to discover themselves, to appreciate who they are.

c) Thus, our basic attitude as household leaders needs to be one of encouragement.

Not always correcting, but kindness, encouragement, rejoicing over

what the Lord has already done.

Love them so they move on.

5. A fruit of encouragement is growth in perseverance. Perseverance is a Christian quality especially needed to overcome problems, obstacles and trials. We need to be persevering as we desire to FOLLOW Jesus as leaders of our households.

F. Two men on the road to Emmaus. Luke 24:13ff.

1. They seem to have given up. They were disappointed because of wrong expectations (v.21).

2. On the positive side, they went back to the disciples after breaking bread with Jesus.

G. Lessons from the Emmaus story.

1. We need to examine our reasons for following Jesus.

a) The wrong reason can easily lead us to change course. John 6:26-27, 66-69.

b) John the Baptist condemns superficial and opportunistic "repentance". Matthew 3:7-10.

c) Looking on Christianity as a problem-solver. Results of such an outlook:

Disappointment if the problem is not resolved.

Turning away from Jesus once the problem is resolved because there is no longer any need for him.

Inability to accept Jesus' hard teachings.

2. We need to open up our hearts and let the word of God burn in our hearts. This way, our motivation becomes pure.

a) The proper attitude: Philippians 3:8.



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Everything else is garbage compared to Christ.

b) We can only be single-minded for God if our vision is clear, if we know

the place of Jesus in our life, if we have a right relationship with him, and if we know where we are going.

H. How can we be single-minded for God?

1. "Burn your boats".

a) Anecdote about a beleaguered army having to make a decision on whether

to flee out to the sea in their boats or to stand and face the advancing enemy. The commander had their boats burned, thus eliminating the

choice.

b) Practical application:

Many of us come into a new life in the Lord, but we keep our boats in reserve, so that if necessary we can return to the world.

We need to forego all other options. In our new life, there should be no turning back.

2. Learn to persevere and be patient.

a) Prepare for the long haul. Moving on in the Christian life is the task of a lifetime.

b) Some Scripture passages.

Hebrews 6:11-12. Sometimes one starts off very zealous in the Christian life, then grows lazy and takes things for granted. But we

are to show the "same zeal till the end". 2 Thessalonians 3:13. Sometimes doing good can be tiring. But we

just need to continue doing what is right. Philippians 3:16. Whatever spiritual state or level we are in, we are

to go on. We can never be fully mature. There's always more that the Lord wants for us.

Galatians 6:9. Some come into a life in the Lord, then get tired and finally turn back to their old ways. We need to persevere, knowing

what awaits us. 1 Corinthians 15:58. Sometimes the problem is that we do not see

the fruit of righteous living. Righteous living might even seem like such a burden. But the fruit is there. God is pleased. We will reap

the harvest.



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3. "Take up your cross and follow me".

a) Jesus did not promise that if we followed him there would be no more problems.

b) In fact, the Christian life is a life of embracing and loving the cross of Christ.

I. How can we grow in single-mindedness for God?

1. Set a goal in personal virtue.

a) Growing in single-mindedness for God is connected with righteous living. Thus we need to acquire desirable virtues.

Without personal virtues, we cannot be single-minded for God.

There will always be some distractions that are too attractive.

b) Ask the Lord to show what virtue you can grow most in. Some examples:

Steadfastness. Tobit 4:5-6. Humility. Philippians 2:3-4.

Obedience. Jesus' example.

Courage. Kindness. The example of Mother Teresa.

- Mother Teresa: "Love begins at home, it is not how much we do but how much love we put in the action that we do. To God Almighty, how much we do does not matter, but how much love we put in that action. How much we do to him in the person we are serving. And let us all meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. Let us keep that joy of loving Jesus in our hearts and share that joy with all that we come in touch with"

- The most villainous person she has met is described by her as "Jesus

in a very distressing disguise".

2. Seek to suffer a little every day for God.

a) There are many opportunities that present themselves:

Denying ourselves too much of the pleasures of life.

Forbearing in relationship difficulties.

Giving things up like more sleep in favor of more prayer.

b) These help us to focus less on ourselves and more on God.



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3. Detach yourself from your desires and plans.

a) God has the best plan for our lives.

Jeremiah 29:11.

b) We need to let go of our preconceived notions of what is best for us. We need to approach the Lord without any preset agenda.

4. Seek consolation only from God.

a) This is not only the proper attitude, but a practical and realistic one. Every one else can fail us, but God never will.

In the midst of difficulty, especially from those closest to us, God is

our consolation.

b) It is only God Who can truly comfort us.

Matthew 11:28-30.

5. Pray for God's will to be done in your life.

a) We should not only be resigned to God's will, but actively and eagerly pray that His will come to pass in our life.

But be careful. God delights in such prayers, and will grant them.

b) Have faith that our Father knows best.

Even when we cannot see beyond the difficulty of the moment.

J. Conclusion.

1. There are four types of good people.

a) Household leaders should strive to be the 4th type.

Because this is ideal for headship.

This is an assurance that all household members will be helped to

move on.

2. God uses our zeal for righteousness to help other people.

a) Through evangelization, bringing God's life to others.

b) Through caring for members of SFC.



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3. Our zeal for God grows into perseverance for God’s call to righteousness is

very difficult. It entails us to serve Him with utmost dedication and commitment.

4. We can only move on in these areas as we become more and more focus on the Lord and our life and mission in Him. Let us be single-minded for God.



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Household Heads Teaching Series (HHTS)



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS TEACHING SERIES (HHTS)

About the HHTS

After conducting the Household Heads Orientation (HHO), the Household Head

Teaching Series (HHTS) should be immediately scheduled to follow up and sustain the growth of the incoming Household Heads.

Conduct of the HHTS

1. The HHTS should be conducted on a Chapter level for a more intimate set of mentoring sessions of the soon to be SFC Household heads. Logistical

requirements will not be demanding since it will be like a household meeting set up only.

2. Chapter leaders will facilitate the HHTS with the help of the Unit Heads. 3. Sessions must be finished within 6 months from the time the HHO was

conducted, ideally, one session per month.

The HHTS Sessions

Talk 1 - Brotherly Love Talk 2 - Prayer and Intercession Talk 3 - Faith in God and Humble Leadership Talk 4 - Good Example and Evangelistic Headship Talk 5 - Correction and Encouragement Talk 6 - Evaluation

Suggested HHTS Format

Opening Worship - 30mins Session Proper - 45mins

Sharing - 30mins Announcement/Closing - 15mins

120mins (at least 2 hours)



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS TEACHING SERIES TALK No. 1 : BROTHERLY LOVE

Speaker’s Outline I. Introduction

A. Our task is to take care of God's people; those entrusted to our household.

1. 1 Peter 5:2a

2. Our example is Jesus Himself. John 10:11

B. We can see how important is this service that we do.

1. It is not just an assignment, a task, or a function.

2. Love is its very essence. As brethren in the Lord, one very important

quality of our work is brotherly love.

II. How do we express brotherly love?

A. Attitude of Service Love

1. Mark 10:45

a. In CFC Singles for Christ, the leader is the servant.

b. We give of ourselves willingly so that those in our care will

experience the life and salvation of Jesus.

2. It was Jesus Himself who called us to serve. He is the Chief Shepherd.

Thus the right way to serve is to serve according to His example.

B. Attitude of Humility

1. Mark 10:35-44



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There is a marked difference between service in the world and service in the kingdom.

- Rather than lord it over, we serve.

- Rather than glory in our importance, we serve in humility.

- Rather than be first, we serve ourselves last.

2. Ambition and self-focus are obstacles to Christian service.

Like James and John, we may be good disciples and be sincere in following Jesus, but we could still get sidetracked in our motivations for serving.

III. Concrete Qualities of Brotherly Love

A. As Expressed by Jesus

1. Concern for the practical needs of others

a. Illustrated in the wedding at Cana (John 2:1-11) and in the feeding

of the multitudes (Matthew 15:32-38).

b. We cannot just have a spiritual approach to love.

James 2:14-17

1 John 3:17-18

2. Availability to our people

a. Jesus invited the children to come to Him despite the disciples' concern for His rest (Mark 10:13-16).

Jesus was also available to the sinners, to the sick, and to the

relatives of His disciples.

b. We are to be big brothers (older sisters) to our people.

3. Expression of affection

a. Jesus expressed the human emotion of affection.

He wept when he visited Lazarus' tomb (John 11:35-36).



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In the case of the rich young man who asked about everlasting life, Jesus looked on him with love as he gave his answer (Mark 10:21).

b. We too need to love those in our care.

Laugh and cry with them.

Care for them not just as a duty but as beloved family members.

B. As Expressed by Other Scripture Passages

1. Patience and forbearance

a. Romans 15:1

Our work is continuing evangelization. We need to take people where they are and draw them deeper into a new life in the Lord.

We need to realize that different people may have different paces in spiritual growth.

b. But this does not mean pampering or coddling sinfulness or

non-performance.

We are also called upon to strengthen others and to correct them if necessary.

2. Encouragement

a. Isaiah 35:3-4a

Often, a word of encouragement from one's leader is enough to make a critical difference.

We need to be able to convince our people that they can move forward in the Christian life and overcome their

problems, if only they would persevere.

b. For leaders, not to do this would be spiritual negligence. Ezekiel 34:4-5,10

We would not only disappoint the Lord, but could also incur His wrath.



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3. Going the extra mile

a. We need to serve beyond the normal call of duty.

It is easy to go the first mile, but you need God's grace to go

the extra mile.

2 Samuel 23:14-17. Example of the initiative and sacrifice of King David's men.

b. We will experience God's grace as we volunteer to do more to

serve the people placed under us.

The satisfaction of having served thus will be beyond measure.

IV. Conclusion

A. We are all brothers and sisters in SFC. And you are all called upon as household leaders to serve the rest.

B. In this service we need the quality of brotherly love.

1. Our model is Jesus Himself. Even now, He continues to love and serve

us all, His brothers and sisters.

2. The brotherly love required of us is not from the spring of our own hearts but from God's. Let us tap into His own heart – the true wellspring of endless love.



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS TEACHING SERIES TALK No. 2 : PRAYER AND INTERCESSION

Expanded Outline

I. Introduction

A. Prayer is crucial to the life of a Christian.

1. It is our direct communication link to God.

2. It is a key to being victorious against temptation.

3. It lies at the root of all personal godliness.

B. Prayer also puts us into proper posture before God.

1. The essential nature of sin is independence. But we need to live in total dependence on God, a dependence marked by prayer.

The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever; but

we cannot begin to enjoy God until we spend time with Him.

2. Prayer keeps us trusting God for everything.

3. Prayer opens the way for the Holy Spirit to transform us into the image of Jesus.

II. The Characteristics of Effective Prayer

A. Humility

1. We cannot approach God's throne until we have confessed all known sin.

Thus an examination of conscience and the attendant repentance

are important.

2. Prayer is a humble response to God's initiative, where in His great love for us He gave us His Son and sent His Spirit into our hearts.

We need to submit our lives to God's will and bow to His

sovereignty.



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3. Prayer is not insisting on our own way, but we must believe that God's way is perfect and that in everything He works for our good.

God is far more willing to bless us than we can imagine. But we can

frustrate His will for us by rebelling.

4. We are to delight in the Father's love, just like little children.

Luke 18:15-17

B. Honesty

1. We do not have to pretend before God.

a. God knows all about us anyway.

b. And God wants us to share every part of our lives with Him. That includes our fears and failings, our moods and emotions, our

thoughts and anxieties.

2. We have Biblical models of honest prayer.

a. The psalmist. Psalm 13:1ff.

b. Jesus at Gethsemane.

c. Paul spoke of his weaknesses many times.

3. As we are honest with God, He will work gently in our lives to mold us more and more into Jesus' likeness.

C. Compassion

1. Compassion means "suffering with" someone, trying to enter into their pains and problems.

a. We need to be moved with compassion as we see the enormous

needs of sinful, suffering people.

b. Such compassion, especially in our inability to give practical help, naturally leads to prayer and intercession.

2. Compassionate prayer is positive prayer.

a. We do not need to pray about all problems in detail. We end up

being conscious mainly of the problems.



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b. Rather, we focus our mind on the Lord, thinking of those aspects

of His nature, or particular promises He has given, which are relevant to the problems.

c. Negative thoughts, filled as they often are with fear, unbelief, anxiety, anger or bitterness, may hinder God's working in our

lives.

3. Compassionate prayer will also have breadth in its dimens ion.

a. We do not pray only for our circle of friends, our SFC activities or evangelistic programs.

b. We need to be concerned as well about social injustice and needs – unemployment, poverty, discrimination, the homeless and oppressed, the sick, the lonely, etc.

D. Expectancy

1. When we ask for something in prayer, we should start looking for the

answer and expect God to work.

a. Ephesians 3:20

b. Mark 11:24

2. Biblical models of expectant faith.

a. Mary. When promised the gift of a son, she began to praise God that it was now true, saying "God who is mighty has done great things for me". Luke 1:30-49

b. Jesus. About to raise up Lazarus from the dead, he prayed "Father, I thank you for having heard me." John 11:41

3. To help us pray with expectant faith, we need to know and claim the

promises of God in the scriptures.

a. Through these promises, we know the will of God, at least, in general terms.

b. 1 John 5:14

E. Persistency

1. We can become careless and lazy in our prayer.

a. We may neglect it altogether.



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b. We may give lip service to it by mouthing off a few familiar

phrases, but our heart and mind may wander in many directions.

2. Though God may answer even our casual prayers, normally He waits until our whole being is concentrated on Him.

a. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees. Mark 7:6

b. Jesus taught about persistence. Luke 18:1-5

c. In God's wisdom, He sometimes delays in answering our prayers to see how much we really want something for His praise and glory alone.

F. Forgiveness

1. We must first know God's forgiveness by confessing every known sin, repenting and asking for His cleansing.

a. We must distinguish between the Spirit's conviction and the

devil's nagging.

b. We must ask the Spirit to search our hearts, and not allow the devil to rob us of God's peace.

2. Then we must forgive one another.

a. Mark 11:25.

b. An unforgiving spirit can easily spoil our relationship with God and with one another.

c. If we hold on to sin in our hearts, God will not listen to us.

d. It is only when we forgive others that God can forgive us. And it is only when God forgives us that we can pray at all.

III. God always wants the best for us and He wants us to come to Him to ask for

these things.

1. Matthew 6:32b-33

2. Jesus tells us to come to Him in times of difficulty and He will refresh

us. Matthew 11:28-30.

It is a clear invitation. He does not say, "Evaluate your needs and then if you think it is reasonable, come to me and we can talk."



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3. The reason we can come and approach God with confidence is due to

our special loving relationship with our Father in heaven as His children through our baptism.

4. When we pray, say: "Your will be done." It is most important that

God's will takes place in our life, our family, and in the lives of the people we care for.

IV. Intercession

As we accompany our members in their Christian life we couple it with prayers to guide them in their journey. Thus, it is our part to intercede for them.

A. Intercession is prayer for God's will to happen.

1. It is to see God's viewpoint in various situations, then go before the

Lord with boldness and confidence to ask that He acts.

2. An intercessor is one who seeks the mind of Christ. He does not pray just for the "obvious thing" or the "good thing", but to pursue God's mind on the situation.

3. The prayer that God wants to answer is the prayer for His will to happen.

B. Intercession is part of God's plan.

1. 1 Timothy 2:1-4. Through Paul, God is saying that intercession is a

means for His plan/will to happen.

2. As leaders, God expects us to intercede.

Ezekiel 22:29-31. This is a situation where leaders and priests were

involved in extortion, robbery, and oppression. The Lord looks down and looks for at least one man who would intercede; then He would be predisposed to withhold His wrath. But God found no one; no one intervened to prevent God's wrath from happening.

C. An intercessor mediates between God and man.

1. He brings man's needs to God for action. He represents man to God.

a. Exodus 17:8-13 tells of Moses interceding for God's people during a battle with Amalek. As long as Moses kept his hands raised up

interceding, Israel had the better of the fight, but when he lets



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down his hands to rest, Amalek had the better of the fight. Moses

mediated between God and the Israelites.

b. We intercede not only for general things like world peace, peace

in our country, economic recovery, etc., but for very specific situations.

2. He pleads for God's mercy and benevolence for man.

a. Moses prayed for God's mercy for the Israelites who worshipped

the golden calf.

b. Jesus prays, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing".

c. Let us intercede for our people: "Lord, forgive them for they do not honor their commitment to you; their prayer life is not

regular; they are not forgiving one another; they are not gracious in their speech, etc."

3. He is a conduit of God's love, grace, and will. He represents God to

man. He works with God.

a. Moses cooperated with the Lord. He did his part. He took responsibility to put the people on the right path.

b. Jesus spoke the mind of God and taught his disciples.

c. Go to your people and speak God's word to them. Do your part in

correcting and in strengthening them.

D. We are to intercede with faith and confidence.

1. Genesis 18:20ff. Things were happening in Sodom that invited the ire of God. Abraham bargained and haggled with God. God finally

destroyed Sodom but not before Abraham did his part of interceding for his people.

2. We have a basis for confidence. 1 John 5:14; John 14:14

3. The lessons we can learn from these are:

a. We should intercede seriously and with confidence. God entertains that kind of haggling.

b. We can have confidence that God pours out His blessings so that we may be able to do our mission; we know that we need God's

power and provision and we know that we ought to be interceding.

c. God will act on our prayers. He has no limitation of power and we ought to expect results when we intercede.



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V. How to become more effective intercessors.

A. Have great love for the people you intercede for. Be ready to offer practical assistance to meet the needs for which you intercede.

B. Have great faith that God could do things like what He did to Sarah, that

he could part the waters of the Red Sea, that He can and will do the same things for us in whatever difficult situations we find ourselves in.

C. Strive to be holy. James 5:16b-18 D. Look for opportunities to intercede and use the power we have to

intercede.

1. E.g., Boring homily of the priest. Instead of complaining, intercede for

the priest so that his homily may come alive and touch the lives of the hearers.

2. Do the same for insensitive boss/leaders, crimes, unfaithfulness of members, etc.

E. Make a habit of regular intercession.

1. Make this a regular part of your daily life and service.

2. Pray for your people, for more pastoral and material resources, and for more intercessors.

VI. Conclusion

A. Prayer is crucial to our personal life as a Christian. It is indispensable to our growing in holiness.

B. Colossians 1:9-12. Paul intercedes for the people in his charge unceasingly. Let us pray for the people under our care in the same way.

C. As household leaders, we would see much more fruit in our service if we

use with discernment this powerful tool of intercession that God has given us.

D. Prayer is crucial to the life and mission of SFC. We are all part of God's

army, needing to receive our instructions from our Commander-in-Chief each day.



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS TEACHING SERIES TALK No. 3 : FAITH IN GOD AND HUMBLE LEADERSHIP

Expanded Outline

I. Introduction

A. We are to be men and women of faith.

B. Two meanings of faith:

1. Belief in the existence of God.

Even demons share this type of faith. James 2:19

2. Trust that God is true in His dealings with mankind.

This is what is important in our Christian life and in our service.

II. The Faithfulness of God

A. God reveals Himself as faithful.

1. Exodus 34:6-7

2. 2 Timothy 2:11-13

B. God proves Himself faithful in His actions.

1. Through centuries God was faithful to His people.

a. Adam's disobedience and His merciful response.

b. Saving Noah from destruction and making a covenant with him.

c. Calling Abraham and establishing him as the father of nations.

d. Training and protecting Jacob.

e. Providing for the Israelites in Egypt through Joseph.

f. Faithfulness in spite of grievous sins in the wilderness.

g. Driving out the enemies of Israel.

h. The period of the Judges.

i. The period of the Kings.



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2. Then God gave the messiah, despite the knowledge that He would be

rejected and put to death by those He came to save.

3. Then came 2,000 years of Christian history, during which time the Church often went astray. But God continued to call it back.

C. The history of the human race is a constant spurning of God's grace. We

have been a most faithless race.

1. Yet still God works, and is faithful to His people.

Romans 3:3-4a

2. God has proven Himself faithful over the course of thousands of years, and amidst intense provocation.

D. Our faith is founded on the faithfulness of God.

III. Responding in Faith

A. Examples of a response of faith.

1. Abraham. Genesis 22:1-17.

He trusted in God's faithfulness, and God made him the father of many nations.

2. Noah

He trusted in God's faithfulness, and God saved him.

3. Gideon. Judges 7:7

a. He began with 32,000 soldiers and ended with 300, facing an

enemy force of 135,000 (Judges 8:10). This seemed like foolishness for a military commander.

b. But he trusted in God's faithfulness, and God gave him victory.

4. Mary. Luke 1:38

a. Becoming pregnant with no husband would destroy her

reputation, perhaps even cost her life.

b. But she trusted in God's faithfulness and God provided a husband

for her, and made her mother of the Messiah.



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5. Jesus. Luke 22:42-44

a. He was frightened at the prospect of the cross and sought to avoid it if he could.

b. But he trusted in the Father's faithfulness and despised the shame of the cross, and God highly exalted him.

B. A Personal Application

1. All of us have given up something, some of us a great deal, to serve

the Lord and to be here right now.

a. What guarantee do we have that it will all be worth it?

b. What do we have to counter the arguments of friends and family who so reasonably show us the seeming folly of our direction in

life?

c. We have no guarantee but the faithfulness of God.

2. In and through SFC we are attempting to build the worldwide family of CFC, to do something significant for the cause of Christ.

a. What guarantee do we have that SFC or CFC will survive another

10 years; that this ark we are building is going to be of any use; that this is a worthy work to engage in at the expense of family, of career, of personal preferences?

b. We have no guarantee but the faithfulness of God.

3. Let us then be men and women of faith, seeing that God has proven Himself faithful.

a. Let us not look at our lives with human eyes or allow events to

distract or discourage us.

b. Let us be like Abraham with the knife at Isaac's throat, like Noah building his ark, like Mary abandoning all her cares to God.

c. Let us fully trust that He who began a good work in us will indeed bring it to completion on the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

C. Growing in faith.

1. Ask for faith.

2. Live your life based on the truth of God's faithfulness.

3. Act in faith.



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IV. Called in Faith

A. The Report of the Jordan Management Consultants (Annex A)

1. What looks good on the outside might not necessarily turn out so;

and vice versa.

2. Many of us would probably not have thought of ourselves as becoming leaders over God's people.

B. God is able to use anyone.

1. God looks at the heart, not on what appears outside.

a. A heart that sees the greatness of God.

b. A heart that sees the needs of mankind.

2. God looks for humility.

a. We are not perfect; let us admit it. In fact, we are sinful and are in dire need of God's mercy.

b. Example of Peter and Judas. We need to admit our mistakes, face Jesus again, and accept His forgiveness.

C. Various ways we can learn about leadership.

1. Look at Jesus' example.

2. Study Paul's instructions to leaders.

3. Look at how not to do leadership.

a. This is what we will study. Matthew 23:1-12

b. Note that we are still to follow the correct instructions of

designated leaders, even if they are bad examples. (v.3)

V. Pharisaic Leadership – the opposite of Jesus’ example of leadership

A. Jesus pointed to leaders who said the right things but did the wrong things.

1. They tell people what to do but do not provide the necessary help,

guidance and resources with which the people can move on. (v.4)



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2. They want to look good. (v.5)

Or some may try to be like someone else, trying to imitate another

leader's style.

B. All of us are learners, disciples. (v.8,10)

1. God wants to take active leadership over His people.

a. All have a direct pipeline to God.

b. The Holy Spirit is given to everyone, to teach and guide them.

2. But of course, there are teachers and leaders in SFC.

a. Purpose of leadership: not for the leaders to do all the services themselves, but for them to equip God's people.

b. Leaders/teachers are to get people in contact with the Father (v.9).

3. The one Source is God, not any leader or teacher.

The leader, being in touch with the Source, should help others get

in touch with the Source.

4. Two Extremes: Too Little or Too Much Responsibility

a. If too little, leadership resource is wasted.

b. If too much, leaders could burn out because they take on too much of the burden which belongs to God.

C. We are called to humble leadership. (v.11-12)

1. In God's Kingdom, the leader is the servant. This too is how it is in

SFC.

2. There is to be no jockeying for position, looking to be the best, etc.

VI. Distorting God's Gifts and Call.

There is a tendency in fallen human nature to bend the gifts and call of God to conform to the personal needs and ends of leaders. We need to beware of

the following:

A. Pride. Having too exalted an opinion of ourselves.



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1. This leads to arrogance, defensiveness, and lack of sensitivity in relating to others.

2. Like Paul, we ought to become fools for Christ (1 Corinthians 4:10).

B. Insecurity. Having a desire for recognition and approval.

1. This leads to defensiveness; pleasing man more than God.

2. We ought to be concerned only with pleasing God. And our recognition and consolation will come from Him.

C. Possessiveness. Possessing the work, identifying ourselves and our worth too much with our work.

1. This leads to over control, exalting ourselves, and being emotionally

dependent on success or failure.

2. It is OK to experience failure.

a. Jesus failed with one of the 12 he handpicked (an 8% failure rate!).

b. Paul experienced failure.

c. People rejected Jesus. But this is the mystery of free will.

D. Competitiveness. Competing with other leaders or other groups (in and out of SFC).

1. This leads to putting others down, being blind to different charisms,

and lack of cooperation.

2. Rather, we need to focus on what could best serve people and the building of the Kingdom.

We do not have to do everything. It might be better for another

group to do it.

E. Over reliance on our own efforts, abilities, and plans.

1. We presume we know God's mind and plunge ahead without consulting Him.

Such presumption can be linked to idolatry. 1 Samuel 15:23 (Note:

Refer to v.1-23.)

2. To be a son of God is to be led by the Spirit. Romans 8:5-9,14



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3. We may have a tendency to rely more on our group, our leaders, our

movement, our way of doing things, etc., rather than on the Lord himself.

a. Our faith should not lie in our size, our success, our human

wisdom.

b. Our faith is not in the movement, but in the Mover of the movement.

VII. Humility in Leadership

A. We need to have a greater simplicity of goal.

1. We simply point to Jesus, helping people to find Him and to follow Him.

God's design is that the merest of children can understand and

come to Jesus.

2. It is Jesus who saves, who comforts, who fills with the Spirit.

3. Our global evangelization is aimed at making Jesus known.

B. We need to have a greater simplicity of means.

1. Like faith, hope and love.

Faith, not an organization, is what overcomes the world. 1 John 5:4

2. We need to focus on what is primary, and not get bogged down in

secondary things. Galatians 5:5-6

1 Corinthians 13:13

C. We need to have a greater modesty regarding the importance of our group (household, unit, chapter, etc.), or of the movement itself (SFC), or of ourselves (our talents, etc.).

1. What is important is that people follow Jesus, not necessarily that

they join our group.

a. Of course, we realize that joining us can be part of God's call to people.



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b. We readily accede and even rejoice when our members decide

that God is calling them to another ministry.

2. Jesus must increase; we and our group must decrease.

VIII. The Joy of Humble Leadership

A. A law of God's kingdom: He raises up the humble, but He cuts down the proud.

B. We can learn the ways and means of leadership, but most important and basic is to simply know Christ crucified.

C. There is great joy in humble leadership, living Jesus' way of leadership. There will be misery in pride.

IX. Conclusion

A. It is so liberating to know that we can rely on a faithful God. He called us, so He will empower us.

B. We need to have faith in God, is His mission for SFC, and in the call to us

to leadership. C. With our faith and God's faithfulness, CFC Singles for Christ can become a

very strong and effective instrument of God's action in the world.



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ANNEX A

To : Jesus, Son of Joseph

Woodcrafters Carpentry Shop Nazareth, 25922

From : Jordan Management Consultants

Dear Sir:

Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for management positions in your new organization. All of them have taken our batte ry

of tests and we have not only run the results through our computer, but also arranged personal interviews for each of them with our psychologist and vocational

aptitude consultant.

The profiles of all tests are included and you will want to study each of them carefully.

As part of our service and for your guidance, we make some general comments,

much as an auditor will include some general statements. This is given as a result of staff consultation and comes without any additional fee.

It is the staff opinion that most of your nominees are lacking background, education and vocational aptitude for the type of enterprise you are undertaking. They do not

have the team concept.

Simon Peter is emotionally unstable and given to fits of temper. Andrew has absolutely no qualities of leadership. The two brothers, James and John, the sons of

Zebedee, place personal interest above company loyalty. Thomas demonstrates a questioning attitude that would tend to undermine morale. We feel that it is our

duty to tell you that Matthew has been blacklisted by the Greater Jerusalem Better Business Bureau. James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddeus definitely have radical

leanings, and they both registered a high score on the manic depressive scale.

One of the candidates, however, shows great potential. He is a man of ability and resourcefulness, meets people well, has a keen business mind and has contacts in

high places. He is highly motivated, ambitious and responsible. We recommend Judas Iscariot as your controller and right hand man. All of the other profiles are self-explanatory.

We wish you every success in your new venture.

Sincerely, Jordan Management Consultants



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS TEACHING SERIES TALK No. 4 : GOOD EXAMPLE AND EVANGELISTIC HEADSHIP Expanded Outline

I. Introduction

A. We should be models for our household members.

1. We should be living witnesses to the new life in Christ.

2. The words we teach should be reflected in our actions.

B. Our own models:

1. Jesus made His life and words an example. John 13:15

2. Paul also pointed to the witness of his life. 1 Corinthians 11:1

3. Both recognized that actions speak louder than words.

4. They're no longer physically present. Now we're the ones on the firing line.

II. Four Aspects of Being a Good Example

A. Conformity of oneself to the observance of everything that makes up life in SFC.

1. The covenant of CFC Singles for Christ.

2. Our Christian culture in SFC.

a. faithfulness to meetings

b. punctuality

c. affection for brethren

d. speech

e. financial support

3. If we don't live out our covenant and culture, we can't expect our members to do so.

B. Humility. Be humble in conduct.



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1. Do not think too highly of yourself. Do not assume the airs of an

official.

a. Rather, assume the posture of a servant.

b. You have been given a position. But it's the position of a valet, not

a manager.

2. See to it that your household members have ready access to you.

a. Be available to them when you are needed.

b. Note: But teach them also to be reasonable as to time.

c. Be pleasant in speech; listen patiently.

d. Be more loved than feared.

3. Don't be a know-it-all.

Note: It is not expected of you to know everything.

4. Foster total dependence on God. Realize that without God we are nothing.

C. Maturity:

1. In personal conduct.

a. Don't act lightly. Be serious. Don't behave like a trifler. E.g.,

making silly jokes or antics.

b. While you want to be more loved than feared, there should also

be a certain amount of "fear" or reverence for you.

c. Be authoritative when necessary. Know that your leaders in SFC

are backing you up.

d. Don't play favorites. Do nothing to cause a member to feel that

you scorn him or that you arbitrarily prefer others. All should be able to trust you and confide in you as their best friend.

2. In attitude toward your work.

a. Be serious regarding your being a household leader. It's important to your members because the household you lead is where they

draw support for their Christian life.

b. Look on your work as an opportunity to move people on.



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c. Don't cancel any meeting. If you're unavailable, refer to your Unit

Head, who will assign or ask another person to handle your household.

d. Prepare for your meetings.

3. In judgment. Grow in wisdom.

a. The value of wisdom in Scripture. Proverbs 3:13-15. An ideal of life.

b. Wisdom is practical understanding that comes from God about living or doing something. It is not an academic or theoretical understanding. It is a useful knowledge of the inner workings of something.

Hebrew "chokmah" – skill of a craftsman.

Wisdom concerned mainly with the skill of successful living, e.g., Christian personal relationships, finance, speech,

relationship to God.

c. But not just wisdom about living, but household leaders need pastoral wisdom, a practical understanding of how to build up the

body of Christ, how to care for the lives of Christians.

d. How to acquire wisdom?

Basically be rightly related to God. Proverbs 9:10

Like Solomon, ask for it. Pray for it. James 1:5-6

Learn from the Scriptures.

Learn from SFC (teachings & elders). Proverbs 13:14-20

D. Integrity

1. Integrity is the refusal to justify, rationalize or excuse any motivation,

thought or behavior that is inconsistent with the commands and principles of God's Word.

a. Note: We are not talking of sinlessness (we all still fall into sin),

but refusal to justify, etc. In other words, we can make mistakes; but how do we handle these?

b. E.g., David. Psalm 78:70-72. The Lord chose David to shepherd his people "according to the integrity of his heart"

He didn't kill King Saul, because Saul was chosen by God.



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He didn't excuse his sin with Bathsheba when his sin was exposed by Nathan.

2. God is more concerned about integrity than perfection.

a. Justifying improper motivations is worse than the wrong motivations themselves. Rationalizing unchristian thoughts is

worse than the original thoughts. Excusing bad behavior is worse than the behavior itself.

b. Have you ever promised to do something you didn't do at all and then tried to excuse yourself? Rather than just admit your shortcoming?

c. Integrity is something that is in the very fiber of a man's being. It is of the very nature and foundation of God's kingdom.

d. A person can have skill, education, even God's anointing, but still

without basic integrity.

3. Integrity is manifested in the 3Ms:

a. Morals

Proverbs 11:3. We do not need to pray about, say, watching X-rated films, bribery, tax evasion, etc. These should be clearly

wrong.

We should not just keep a minimum standard of good conduct. Some people's attitude seems to be: how much can I get away with?

b. Marriage (For CFC members serving in SFC.)

A leader proves himself in the care of his wife and children. 1 Timothy 3:5

Do all things in your own family that you tell other men to do in theirs. Or at least, sincerely try to do so.

Give the same quality of care to your wife and children that

you give to others. At times we care for our household members but neglect our family. Never forget that CFC Singles

for Christ is family-oriented.

c. Ministry

Do not compromise on truth, on God's word, etc.

Say no to certain needs if our priorities require us elsewhere.



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Be open to brethren for scrutiny and correction (especially to your Unit Head).

Avoid competition with other household heads, units, and leaders.

Make decisions based on standards of God's word and the direction of the Holy Spirit, not what will please others or how

much difficulty you will encounter.

III. The Value of Being a Good Example

A. Good "masters" generally form good disciples.

1. People who see a better way of life exemplified by their household leaders often become better Christians and better integrated into the

life of SFC.

2. It's a new way of life for our people. Thus the terri tory is unfamiliar.

You're the one to show them how – as Christians and as SFC.

B. Verbal instruction alone is inadequate. It must be accompanied by active good example.

1. Many teachings are and will be given in SFC. But it is the household

head who sees to it that such teachings are integrated into one's life and fully lived out.

2. Conversely, a household head showing bad example will nullify

whatever value might have been received in a teaching.

IV. Aside from leading by example, our headship in SFC over people ought to be

evangelistic, not authoritarian or legalistic.

A. Often, new SFC members are not immediately eager about being under headship. This is a new situation for most. Most are used to answering to no one but themselves.

B. Thus you need to establish a good, personal relationship first.

V. Three Situations for Evangelistic Headship

A. New Members (after the CLP).



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1. They are often new to understanding what God is all about.

2. They do not as yet fully appreciate the vision and mission and culture of SFC.

B. Those with Questions, Reservations and Doubts

1. Some do not experience full conversion during the CLP. For many, it

will be a continuing process.

a. It will be natural and even healthy to have questions. You should encourage them to openly ask about anything.

b. Reservations and doubts can be normal too. Thus you need to draw them in and continue the process of evangelization.

2. It does not mean that such people are in a bad situation. They are just not used to their new life in the Lord.

C. Those who have been with SFC but have had past bad experi ences.

1. This is more difficult than the other two. It is not just a question of

drawing one into the new life, but first, of overcoming what are obstacles caused by past experiences in SFC.

2. You need to be able to take them where they are at and help them make a healthy transition.

VI. Elements of Evangelistic Headship

A. Emphasis on qualities like grace (vs. law), patience, giving others the benefit of the doubt.

1. Your members are going to forget things sometimes, or do things

wrong. Do not be hard on them.

2. Your understanding and patience will win them over.

B. Develop a relationship of trust and openness.

1. Take the position of a servant for them.

a. They need to know that you are for them. Express this openly and often.

b. Show that your role is not to run their lives, but to guide them as an older brother/sister.



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c. Be available to them when needed.

2. It may take a while. Patiently work at it.

C. Set lower standards and fewer standards.

1. Do not intimidate or force them.

2. Be basically concerned with standards of righteousness and good order. Focus on the necessary things.

D. Be a good listener.

1. Get to know your brothers/sisters first.

a. Make sure you know what they are like, what they need to hear.

b. Do not just jump in right away and start telling them what to do.

2. Listen to them.

a. Let them know that you are going to listen to them.

b. Don't jump to conclusions and always assume that you know what is going on.

c. Don't always have a canned answer.

d. Let them know you really understand what they are saying. Be

honest with them.

e. Acknowledge their good points.

f. You have been given two ears and only one mouth. Be more open to listening and not just talking.

3. Remember what they tell you.

a. Keep notes of their sharings, happenings in their life.

b. This takes effort. You have to decide to do it.

E. Offer more input in the form of brotherly/sisterly advice and wisdom

rather than more of direction and correction.

1. Do not correct too often (e.g., TV, lateness, drinking).

2. Do not be anxious, defensive and pushy.

a. Hear and try to understand what they are about.

b. Be confident that things can be resolved.



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3. You want your members to grow in confidence in your ability to help

them. Thus do not react as if their problem is too heavy.

F. With all the above, think about the particular situations of your members and try to piece together a better understanding of where they are at.

1. Ask yourself some questions:

a. What troubles them?

b. What are their strengths and weaknesses?

c. What are they like?

2. You should get to know them well enough such that you can get insights into their life, which they themselves do not have.

VII. Conclusion

A. The household leaders ought to commit themselves with special determination to forming their members according to the life of Christ. Lead them to imitate the Lord in every aspect of their lives.

B. Be a visible model of Christ's way of life. Galatians 2:20

C. What you are doing is breaking someone of his/her wildness,

rebelliousness and independence.

1. By a combination of patience, love and firmness.

2. Aggressiveness on your part is required.

D. Through your efforts, SFC members will more and more enter into their new life in the Lord and develop greater faithfulness to their life in SFC.



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS TEACHING SERIES TALK No. 5 : CORRECTION AND ENCOURAGEMENT

Expanded Outline

I. Introduction

A. In 2 Timothy 3:16, Paul mentions Scripture as a tool that is useful for

reproof, correction and training in holiness.

1. It is evident that correction is considered important in pastoral care.

2. It ranks along with training in holiness.

B. The experience in most cultures, however, is resistance of people to correction.

1. At the bottom of it is fear.

2. Some reasons why we are afraid of correction:

a. Experience of being laughed at because of our mistakes (sometimes being embarrassed in front of other people).

b. Society's expectation: We are evaluated in terms of what we know and have achieved. We try to demonstrate our knowledge and skills. It is painful to have our failures or shortcomings pointed out.

c. Correction is associated with rejection.

d. Secular society's expectation of self-reliance and independence

leads to hesitation in accepting somebody's opinion or judgment over us especially in case of weaknesses and failures being pointed out.

C. What do we do?

1. We hide our faults. We cover up.

2. We argue when corrected.

II. How should we regard correction?



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A. First, understand that the correction we will talk about here is in the

context of Christian personal relationships.

1. In SFC, we have a committed relationship.

2. Correction is not a sign of lifelessness and legalism in a Christian group. Rather it appears whenever Christians see one another as brothers and sisters.

B. Scripture says we are foolish to reject correction. Proverbs 12:1,15

1. At the heart of scriptural appreciation of correction is a hatred of sin

and a realization of human fallibility Psalm 141:5.

2. The psalmist is aware that we often don't see all the things in our lives

which need to change. Psalm 19:12-13

C. With God's help, we must overcome our dislike for correction.

D. Don't expect to be always corrected nicely.

E. Response to correction for something we have done wrong requires repentance, asking forgiveness and change. But correction for something done poorly requires only a resolve to do it better next time.

III. Practical Aspects of Correction

A. How to Correct

1. Correction should be simple and straightforward.

2. When giving correction, expect your brother to repent (or resolve to

do better).

3. Give correction in a way that will help a person to change.

B. In Case of Disagreements

1. When a person fails to accept correction, the two parties concerned should ask a mature Christian to mediate.

2. In case there is still no apparent remedy or resolution, one of the parties may have to practice forbearance.

3. But if it involves something seriously wrong, the rule in Matthew 18:15-17 should be applied.



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C. Correction works differently in a variety of pastoral situations.

1. Where we don't have a pastoral responsibility for a person (i.e., not a

member of our household; or, in the case of a Unit Head, not a member of his unit), we still have a responsibility of love and care for

our brethren in SFC.

a. Correction here is offered in a spirit of helpfulness.

b. In serious cases, talk to his Household Head or Unit Head.

2. Where we have pastoral responsibility for someone, correction becomes one of many pastoral tools to help a person grow in relationship with the Lord and other people.

3. The pastoral nature of a relationship may allow the leader to probe

more deeply into the lives of people in his charge.

This is true of training relationships, such as parents with children, or a pastoral leader with a man who has placed himself under personal headship in order to be formed in character and service (this is not normally the case in SFC).

4. If the person we are correcting is in authority over us, we should give

our correction respectfully, leaving the final judgment about any change up to the other person.

IV. Strategy for Learning Correction

A. Look to our own behavior and attitudes.

B. Overcome fears about giving correction.

C. Learn to handle anger.

D. Be willing to learn.

E. Focus on the goals of pastoral care.

V. A common complaint of people is that they receive more criticism than praise.

1. In our secular environment, it is often that we hear lots of negative

humor and comments.



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2. As we grow in the Christian life, we will discover the importance of

giving praise and encouragement to others.

3. Often also, we take people near to us for granted.

We might be generous in encouraging the mailman or grocery clerk, but fail to encourage those close to us (spouse and

children for couples, parents and brothers and sisters for singles, SFC household members).

This needs to change. God himself was most encouraging with His own Son. Matthew 3:17

VI. Correction’s greatest ally: Encouragement.

A. Here’s an Encouragement Self-Test. Following is a survey to test your encouragement quotient ("The Secret of Encouragement" by Paul

Anderson, New Covenant, March 1983). If you can answer "yes" to at least 12 of the following 14 questions, you do not need to listen to this

talk, just keep up the good work.

1. Do my words of encouragement easily outweigh my words of correction or criticism?

2. Am I generally uplifting to be around?

3. Would my family consider me a basically encouraging person?

4. Do words of praise for others come easily to me?

5. Have I been careful to ask forgiveness of others when I have spoken in a negative or discouraging way?

6. Have I been diligent to encourage those who are under me – children, students, employees, wife, brothers, sisters, and fellow SFC

members?

7. Have I been diligent to encourage those God has placed over me –

teachers, employers, elders, pastors, church leaders, civil servants, governments leaders?

8. Do I pass along only the good news and swallow the gossip?

9. Does my conversation with friends generally build others up?

10. Do I think more about looking for opportunities to give praise than my need to receive it?

11. Do I have a genuine desire to grow as a person who encourages

others?



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12. Am I able to bring encouragement to those who have hurt me? Can I

bless those who have hurt me? Can I bless those who have persecuted me as Scripture admonishes?

13. Have I looked for creative ways of affirming my younger brothers and sisters (my children if CFC) so that they grow up loving themselves?

14. Have I recognized how encouraging God is to His whole creation? To me?

(Those who passed – "yes" to 12 out of 14 – may now leave)

B. Here's another survey from the book "Encouraging One Another" by Gene Getz.

1. Are you able to get excited about the good things that happen to

others? Are you able to tell them that you're glad? Can you enter into their joy? If you can, you are an encourager.

2. Are you living a committed Christian life? To what extent are you able to encourage others "to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts"? If you can, you are reflecting your own commitment to Christ. You are

an encourager.

3. Are you able to accept other people for who they are? Do you see the

best in people? Do you freely associate with people who are different from you? If you can, you are relatively free from prejudice and you

are an encourager.

VII. Encouragement is God's Gift

A. God's plan is to continue the work of His Son through the Holy Spirit. Thus, when Jesus left his disciples, he promised to send them this Holy Spirit – identified in the Bible as "counselor", "comforter", "helper".

1. The Greek word used is “parakletos”. Literally, paraclete. Frequently

translated "to encourage". Therefore, it is appropriate to identify the Holy Spirit's action and presence as that of encouragement.

2. William Barclay, a Greek Bible scholar, points out that in ordinary secular Greek, the most characteristic usage of parakletos (encourager) is in connection with help given in a legal trial. A paraclete then helps us when we are in trouble; when we are in a situation with which we cannot cope.



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B. Literally the word "encourage" is a compound of two words: "en"

meaning “to put in or into" and "courage" meaning strength and confidence.

C. How does God encourage us?

1. He brings comfort.

God is often pictured, especially in the Old Testament, as coming to the side of the needy and encouraging them. Psalm 23:4; Isaiah 40:1-2a; Isaiah 66:13

2. He stands by us.

a. While the disciples discouraged the woman who brought the

alabaster jar of ointment, Jesus gave her the kind of praise that made her gift a memorial.

b. Jesus came to the aid of the woman taken in adultery and forgave

her.

c. Jesus came to the side of many who were sick, dismissing the discouraging words of crowds and even of his own disciples.

d. When the disciples were mourning His death, Jesus came to them and strengthened them.

3. He defends us like a defense lawyer. Mark 13:11

4. He urges us on and exhorts us.

a. In classical Greek, the word was often used to refer to exhorting

troops about to go to battle. The word has a rallying call to it. It not only emphasizes, it motivates. It not only gives comfort, it

gives courage. It sends hesitant soldiers into war.

b. 1 Thessalonians 5:11-14; Hebrews 3:13; Hebrews 10:24

5. He opens doors for us.

Barnabas was a disciple of Jesus who secured the admission of the convert Saul into the fellowship of the Jews when other disciples were suspicious of the former persecutor. Often, God gives us an opening or entry for some work that is

important to us.

6. He provides a way back to Him. Sirach 17:19



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VIII. How does it apply to us?

A. Encouragement is an action of the Holy Spirit. He often uses people to

impart encouragement to His beloved. We must be open to being His channels.

1. There is very little encouragement taking place between and among

us. People are growing disillusioned, discontent and discouraged. God wants us to rise up to this hour of need.

2. For us in leadership positions, it ceases to be a mere option. It becomes a duty. To encourage our members is a duty in the Lord.

B. How do we encourage one another in SFC?

1. Consistent attendance is an encouragement to all.

Hebrews 10:25

2. Turn to Scriptures.

Without the message of Scripture we would not have much with which to encourage one another.

3. Pray for one another.

It is very encouraging to know that brothers and sisters are praying for you. In fact, that we are part of a worldwide

network of prayer.

4. Say a positive and encouraging word to one another.

Especially during times of problems and discouragement, but also on ordinary times.

5. Encourage each other to be faithful to our Christian duties and to our SFC covenant.

6. Avoid empty words of flattery and false assurances.

7. Listen to one another.

Listening is healing.



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IX. Conclusion

A. Correction is a very important pastoral tool:

1. For the spiritual life and direction of every Christian.

2. For the life of our community, for the sake of our mission in SFC.

B. Correction is something done out of love for the other person. We need to take it seriously as one very important aspect of loving our neighbor.

C. We do not have to look very far or worry too much about our task as

household leaders. Much can be accomplished by taking on the ministry of encouragement.

D. There is much in our new life to be encouraged and be joyful about. Let us continue to point these out to ourselves and to the people we lead.



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS TEACHING SERIES TALK No. 6 : EVALUATION

Expanded Outline

I. Introduction

A. Our goal in serving in CFC Singles for Christ is to be the best for the Lord

and for the people He has entrusted to us.

B. A process that will enable us to serve better is evaluation.

1. Experience is a great teacher, and regular evaluation helps us to learn from our experiences.

2. Evaluation enables us to avoid repeating mistakes.

3. Evaluation helps us to learn how to maintain successful elements of our service.

C. Our attitude should be that we want our service evaluated openly and

honestly.

1. We should not be afraid to be shown that we have committed a mistake.

2. We should desire to constantly learn and improve on our work for the Lord.

II. The Context of Christian Evaluation

A. Competitiveness and hostility in society make evaluation a fearful thing.

1. We are unconsciously trained to examine ourselves in comparison with others.

a. Grades in school can cause difficulties due to emotional and

psychological pressure.

b. In the business world, fierce competition affects salary and position.

c. Social competitiveness.

2. Being looked on as OK is always at the expense of someone else.



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B. For Christians, what comes first is our relationship as brothers and sisters.

1. How successful we are in our performance is not what determines love for and commitment to one another.

2. Poor functioning, failure to achieve, low performance levels, will not be reasons for rejection.

C. Our perspective: members of the body have different gifts and functions.

1Corinthians 12; Romans 12:3-8

1. All these gifts must work interdependently in order to achieve the common good of the body.

2. We do not compete with one another, but rather we work together as a team.

We try to help everyone else to achieve maximum effec-tiveness using their gifts.

3. We also need to affirm our brethren's gifts and achievements.

This helps people become more secure in their service.

III. Evaluation Occurs in SFC in Three Ways

A. Feedback

1. SFC members should be encouraged to have a sense of responsibility for how things go in our life and mission.

a. We are all in this together. Responsibility does not lie only with

the leaders.

b. The Lord speaks to every member and can use anyone to point things out.

2. Anyone can give feedback to the person responsible for a particular

task or area of service.

Subordinates can give feedback to those over them.

3. It is best to give negative feedback only to the person who has responsibility for the service.



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Expressing negative criticisms to just anyone can become grumbling, complaining, gossip or slander.

B. Evaluation Sessions

1. The whole SFC community should often engage in evaluation at different levels.

a. Households can evaluate how their meetings are going and how

relationships are developing.

b. The chapter can regularly evaluate how its evangelization is going.

c. The music ministry can evaluate how effectively they are contributing to communal worship.

2. Especially for major community events, there should be a time for

evaluating the events, so that lessons may be learned, and improvements for the future discovered.

C. Evaluation by Heads

1. Those with responsibility for different areas of service ought to conduct regular evaluation of the service and of the individuals who are performing it.

2. It is very helpful for a person to know from those who oversee his service how well he is doing.

This can result in freedom to serve more effectively and in a sense of security in working for the Lord.

IV. How to Give Evaluation

A. Follow a right order to evaluation.

1. First, set the context. Begin with an overall view of the situation or impression.

2. Then, concentrate on the positive before the negative.

a. Commend people for what they have done well.

b. Exchange ideas for improving what is basically a good situation.

c. Avoid the tendency, coming from a worldly understanding of evaluation, to pick out faults.



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3. Having noted the positive contributions, discuss areas that can be

improved and offer negative criticism.

a. Do not be afraid to give critical evaluation.

b. Give critical evaluation as specifically as possible.

c. Say it in a way that is helpful and can be accepted readily by the person concerned.

B. Be careful to give evaluation in a way that does not question the heart or

commitment of the individual or group.

1. Rather, we should recognize the stability of a person's commitment, while addressing what he has done wrong.

2. The one being evaluated, in turn, should not question our love for and commitment to him/her.

a. They should avoid being apologetic and trying to rationalize.

b. They should acknowledge mistakes right away.

C. We must be open and straightforward.

1. There should be no hinting, negative humor or manipulation.

2. We are responsible to inform people who are not doing well in order to allow them to change and improve.

We should not ignore a problem, or fear candor and honesty.

3. Real love seeks what is best for others, correcting them if necessary.

Hebrews 12:5-9

V. How to Receive Evaluation

A. We should be grateful to have brothers and sisters who care enough for us to give us evaluation.

1. Positive evaluation is important for our encouragement. Critical

evaluation is important for improvement in our service.

2. We should not question their love for and commitment to us.

B. We should be humble, knowing that we do not know everything. Proverbs 12:15



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C. We need to value constructive criticism.

1. The wise man appreciates being shown his errors. Proverbs 9:8-9

a. We should want to get things exposed and look at criticism as an

occasion to change, irregardless of how it is said or by whom.

b. We should set aside any defensiveness.

2. This frees us in our service, with the knowledge that we can count on others to point things out to us.

VI. Conclusion

A. We are sinful and worldly and we will continue to commit mistakes as we serve the Lord.

B. But God wants to use us in spite of ourselves, as long as we are open and

willing to learn from Him. C. Christian evaluation is an important tool for our growth in loving and

serving the Lord.



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ANNEXES



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION Workshop No. 1 : CONDUCTING ONE TO ONES

Expanded Outline

Introduction

One to one is a very important pastoral tool wherein the household head talks individually to each member to address concerns that cannot be brought up in the

household. It is also a venue where the household head can get to know each member in a deeper way. One to one is done, not only to address concerns but also

but more essentially, to help the household head guide and pastor his or her members.

On the minimum, one to ones should be done regularly once a quarter. If serious

and urgent concerns will arise, a one to ones should be done even if it is not in schedule.

A. Prior to the One-to-Ones

1. Schedule the one-to-one at least a week before the actual date.

2. Pray and discern God’s direction for the one-to-one.

a. Personal Life

b. Family Life c. Career Life

d. Prayer Life e. Love Life

f. Service Life

3. Give advice on the topic of the one-to-one so that he/she can also pray for leading, revelation.

4. Set up the one-to-one in an appropriate venue at an appropriate time.

Appropriate venue – a place where both parties can discuss with ease and comfort; a quiet, private place.

- preferably at home of either party. - free from disturbances, phone calls.



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Appropriate time – both parties free at this time, no pressing appointments that may disrupt free flow of discussion.

B. On the Day of the One-to-Ones

1. Leader conducting one-to-one should be at the venue 15 minutes prior or

exactly at the agreed- on time. 2. As soon as he/she arrives and settles down, leader should start the one-to-

one. 3. Have a short opening prayer, invoking openness, honesty and wisdom. 4. Then state the purpose/direction of the one-to-one; what the activity hopes

to accomplish; and how it will help you pastor him in his spiritual life. 5. Initiate the first question. But in the ensuing discussion, leader should be

more of a listener trying to absorb as much of what he/she is trying to say.

6. After every appropriate ending, leader summarizes points taken up and integrates them to points earlier discussed to assure continuity.

7. Leader should take note of pastoral issues that need to be discussed more

incisively. An action plan to address the pastoral issues raised must be discussed.

8. Leader summarizes points shared, including actions agreed on for pastoral

issues. He then asks if there are additional points that he/she may have missed and wishes to ask.

9. Leader closes with a short prayer of thanksgiving and empowerment.

C. Post One-to-Ones

1. One-to-one dialogue between the Household head and the member should

be scheduled every quarter. The entire dialogue may take a maximum of two hours.

2. For succeeding one-to-ones, the Household Head should refer to outputs of

previous one-to-one.

3. Leader should follow through with the SFC member action points of the one-to-one in between the scheduled sessions.



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D. Tips for the Leader

1. Leader should coach/facilitate the SFC member to articulate/express him/herself. Practice active listening techniques – asking follow-up questions,

paraphrasing, etc.

2. Leader’s intent should be more about knowing the member better through what he/she is sharing, more than giving correction, reprimanding.

3. Leader should have a mental picture of the key points of the sharing,

especially those items with pastoral implications. 4. Writing down key points is NOT an option as this can intimidate the member

and affect the openness with which the sharing is being made.

5. Leader should take care that the discussion does not fall into a corporate vs. personal tone. This is still a personal dialogue, even if guidelines are given for

order and efficiency.

Workshop Proper:

1. Divide the participants into a group of three members. 2. Every member of the group will be assigned a specific role.

Member – the one who will act as the member who was invited for a one-to-one.

Household Head – the one who will conduct the one-to-one.

Observer – will take note of the good practices and things to improve on in the one-to-one that was conducted.

3. If time allows it, the group members can rotate roles to make them experience the other perspective as well.

4. The workshop facilitator will process and give more inputs as needed by the group.



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION Workshop No. 2 : GIVING A TALK / SHARING

Expanded Outline

I. Introduction During households, an atmosphere is created wherein the members receive learnings in the form of talks or teachings. After which, they are encouraged to open up and share about God’s messages to them as inspired by the teachings. Therefore, it is the Household heads’ important task to prepare and deliver effectively a discerned talk or topic and facilitate a healthy participation from his/her members in the sharing that follows.

This workshop aims to give the Household head a basic guide on how to deliver talks

or share a personal testimony that can be a source of learning and life for his/her members in the household.

II. Giving a Talk

A. Preparing for a talk

1. Begin with the end in mind.

a. Know what you want your members to hear and experience.

b. People can see if you believe in what you are saying. In this way you can come up with your own example. Your examples will be more effective because they are personal. (e.g. God’s love in your life)

2. Prepare your outline.

a. As you go through the outline, begin finding out ways to get across your message. What does my audience need to hear? How can I effectively bring that message across?

b. Imagery is important. Come up with examples, anecdotes, stories that might help illustrate your point.

c. Inject stories. People prefer hearing stories rather than theoretical teachings.



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d. Make your outline personal. Don’t preach---share. People

are not looking for teachers, but witnesses. People that they can relate with and where they see the work of the

Lord actually taking place.

3. Prayer

Let the Holy Spirit guide you. Ask the Lord what He wants you to say to your audience.

B. Presenting the Outline

1. Prayer

Pray as you speak. Listen to the Lord.

2. Speaking to the Audience

Communicate to the people, look at them, and scan.

Rapport- be able to generate good reaction from your audience. This is where jokes are useful.

3. Clarity

Your audience should have an idea where you are.

Number your points Speak clearly with enough volume and pitch. (e.g. use a

microphone/sound system if you need to.)

4. Tailor-fitting Your Talk (Speak in a way that fits your audience).

To particular age group: language and examples that your

audience can relate to. To the level of commitment of audience.

Never use green/ negative humor.

5. Posture

Be confident Avoid mannerisms (e.g. letting your hands play around)

Walk around. Use helpful gestures.

6. Dressing Decently



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7. Time

Be ready to adjust your talk depending on the time.

The ideal time for a talk usually ranges between 30 to 45 minutes. For a Household Prayer Meeting 15 minutes will

do.

8. Ending With a High Note

Challenge/ encourage your audience at the end of your talk.

C. Attitudes

1. Good speakers are made not born.

2. Trust in the Lord. God often allows us to experience this so

that it will allow us to pray.

3. It is the Lord’s work to save, not yours.

a. Don’t impress. Speak only what the Lord wants you to say. if you have prepared, you’ve done your part. The Lord

does the rest. b. Your goal is not to make the participants cry or to convince

them, but to tell the truth. “ The word of the Lord is never spoken in vain.”

c. Speak your best, because it is the Lord who is asking you ---Be a faithful mouthpiece of the Lord.

4. Love the people you are speaking to. As Christ allowed you to experience this love, He wants the people you are speaking to,

to experience it as well.

5. Remember that they need the Lord, and that’s why you are speaking to them.

6. Availability

a. Accept assignments to speak or share.

b. Not accepting would be tantamount to saying that God has not been able to do anything in your life.



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III. Giving a Sharing

A. How to Share your Personal Testimony

1. Personal Testimonies given after a talk is used to show that what is said in the talk can actually happen. These are stories of “bad to good” or “good

to better” situations in our lives.

2. The ABC’s of Sharing: A – Audible

B – Brief C – Christ-centered

3. Prepare your personal testimony/ sharing.

Choose one aspect in your life that the Lord is working in, one that is related to the talk being given. (e.g. resentment)

Divide your sharing into 3 parts: - Before: share what you were experiencing in that area of your life

before the Lord began to work. (E.g. I was resentful of my parents...)

- During: show what the turning point was. What did the Lord do?

(E.g. I found out the Lord forgave me so I should forgive...) - After: How has that area in your life improved so far. (E.g. Slowly

my relationship with my parents is healing. We can now talk to each other more...)

The ideal time for sharing your personal testimony is 3 to 5 minutes.

Make your sharing personal, concrete. This makes it real.

Stick only to what is true. Don’t exaggerate your sharing.

B. Attitudes

Be confident. It is good to note that nobody will disagree with your sharing because it’s subjective.

Whatever you are sharing, somebody out there needs to hear your story. Somebody will be able to relate with your experience.

As the Lord continues to work in new areas of your life, so will your

sharing evolve as well. Update your sharing.



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Workshop Proper:

1. Divide the participants into groups of four (4) members each.

2. Assign a leader who will act as the Household head of the group. 3. Sample household topics will be prepared and written on pieces of paper

(e.g. CLP talks, etc.) and distributed randomly to the assigned household heads.

4. The assigned household heads will be given 5-10 minutes to prepare a short talk/topic about it.

5. As the household heads prepare, the workshop facilitator will instruct all the group members to actively listen to their assigned household heads later.

After the talk of their household heads, their task is to give feedbacks/observations as to how their household head delivered his/her talk and sharing.

6. Once ready, the assigned household head will go to his/her group and then deliver the talk/topic like in a normal household and then give his/her sharing afterwards. Allot about 15 minutes for this.

7. After the talk, the group will now discuss among themselves their feedbacks

and observations. 8. The workshop facilitator will process and give more inputs as needed by the

group.



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HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION Workshop No. 3 : WORSHIP LEADING --- IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD

Expanded Outline

“I have asked the Lord for one thing, one thing only do I want: to live in the Lord’s house all my life, to marvel there at His goodness, and to ask for His guidance.”

Isaiah 27:4

I. Introduction

Household is about coming together as brothers and sisters, worshipping God,

communicating in prayer and sharing life-giving testimonies of realizations and experiences to each other. It is our basic venue to grow in faith and relationship

with God. It is important that we strive to make our households true to its purpose.

As household heads and leaders in our community, it is important for us to have

thorough understanding of worship, which is an integral part of our household

meetings. We use this tool for us to connect and experience God’s holy presence in our gathering. And as household heads we must know how to lead wors hip for our

members to grow closer to God.

II. Understanding Worship

It is said in John 4:24, “God is a Spirit and they that worship Him must worship

Him in spirit and truth.” When we come to God in worship, we put things in their proper perspective: Who is God and who are we? In doing so, we must understand

what worship really is and what it is for. In context, worship is:

1. The central point of our gatherings. It’s supposed to be inspiring. Worship should be nourishing and spirit-filled and must build up the body.

2. Coming into the loving, healing and mighty presence of God and eventually being in communion with God.

3. Paying homage to our King. Just like in the ancient times where people regularly pay “tribute or tax, etc” to their king, we come to God admitting everything we have is His and that He alone is worthy of our praise and

sacrifices.



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4. A foretaste of heaven. It is the time when we, in our “fallen, sinful, and human natures,” are able to connect to God in spirit—the way it was meant

to be before our sins made it impossible for us to continually be in God’s presence (as Adam and Eve were). It allows us a foretaste of the kind of

relationship we will have with God when we are made perfect in heaven.

When we say worship is putting things in proper perspective, it only means that we

acknowledge God’s greatness and marveling in His goodness - that He alone is worthy to be praised.

III. Levels of Worship

As we are taught in the community, there are three levels we usually go through when we worship.

1. The first is when we start speaking words of PRAISE – or what we might be

likened to as “introductions” in any audience. This is where we honor God and acknowledge His greatness

2. The second is WORSHIP – this is when we start saying how we feel and when

we begin to truly realize God’s greatness. In this level, people start to “offer” themselves to God saying “I belong to you…my life is yours”.

3. The third is GLORY – this is when we actually come into the holy presence of God. It is at this level that God speaks, we listen then we respond. This is

where we receive prophecies, visions, where we cry at the realization of God’s love and mercy, where emotional and “physical’ healing takes place.

All these levels are just phasing to the one thing that we wish to achieve:

communion with God; that in our fallen state, we can actually bask in God’s presence and experience heaven on earth.

IV. Sequence of Worship

1. Start the worship. Start by exhorting you members first .

a. Why do we need to exhort?

Exhortations can be liken to famous speeches in movies like Braveheart, 300, and Coach Carter. It is like giving a pep talk. It is about giving people reason to worship. It is done before worship because we need to get



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people ready to be in the Lord’s presence, and remind them why we

worship Him.

It is an act of encouragement; we encourage people to come to God. Exhortation is neither coercion nor manipulation; it falls into the area of

persuasion. To persuade is to encourage. We must understand that the people gathered came from different settings and different state of heart.

Some are happy and joyful but some are weary and tired. We must never assume that simply because people are gathered together in one place,

they are necessarily ready to worship. Through loving understanding, the leader should bring them to a state of readiness, a place of open surrender to the Holy Spirit.

b. How do we exhort?

An exhortation need not be long but should be encouraging and should

acknowledge God’s greatness in our lives. Three to five minutes of exhortation is more than enough. To exhort you can use a personal

sharing, a story or a bible verse as long as it is centered on God and will inspire your listeners to worship God.

Deliver your exhortation with confidence and clarity, remember your goal

is encourage if what you say is vague and confusing you will miss the point. Keep your exhortations simple and relatable but still inspiring.

2. Invite your members to worship and make the sign of the cross.

To formally engage in the presence of God make the sign of the cross. Through this we acknowledge that we are in God’s presence and we are ready to praise and worship him.

3. Sing songs; sing the two (2) fast songs first followed by the slow song. Do some simultaneous praising after each fast song and after the slow song

invite your members to sing in the Spirit .

In a household meeting we use a full worship format, wherein we sing two (2) fast songs and one (1) slow song. This is to enable our membe rs to reach

the highest level in worship (glory level). Singing less than three (3) songs may not be sufficient, singing more than three (3) songs may be too long and

dragging; three (3) songs are enough for you to reach the glory level in worship.



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In choosing your songs, choose songs that glorify/worship God and are

familiar to your members. Your members will have a hard time worshipping if they do not know the song and if the song is not suitable for worship. Choose

songs that are intended for praise and worship, avoid songs that are intended for contemporary/pop music.

Days before your household pray and discern for the songs you will use, as

much as possible they are in line with your exhortation. Songs are very important in worship because they act as vessels for us to worship fully. They

aid us in leading. That is why we need to choose the songs we will use carefully.

4. Listening and sharing God’s message.

After singing a lot an ample time for listening to God, exhort your members

to listen to what God is telling them and then share it to the group. As the leader, you can share a bible verse or gospel for the day or a personal

message from the Lord based from the leading of the Spirit.

5. Prayer proper

This is the part where you vocalize your prayers. You may follow the ACTS

(Adoration, Contrition, Thanksgiving, Supplication) format. Encourage your members to vocalize their prayers and express themselves in prayer.

Adoration It is the part when we sing Songs of Praises and the household head after the songs says praises and honor

to God acknowledging His goodness, power and faithfulness in our lives.

Contrition The household head says a short prayer for forgiveness in behalf of the group not pertaining to a specific

person.

Thanksgiving Starting from the head, every household member should participate in saying their individual prayers of

thanksgiving. (Members’ response after every thanksgiving: Yes Lord, We praise You and we thank

You.)

Supplication Here every member of the household mentions their

individual prayers of petition and intercession. [Members’ response after every petition: Yes Lord,

hear our prayer.]



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6. Concluding prayer. End by reciting Catholic Prayers (like the Our father, Hail

Mary and the Glory Be) as a sign of our faith.

V. Guidelines in Worship Leading

1. Be Sensitive and Lead Until the End

As a worship leader, you need to be sensitive in leading the worship session.

You don’t just lead to start and then leave them by themselves, guide them until the whole session ends. Know the posture of your group. Remember that your goal is to lead them to reach their highest level of worship. Be sensitive with your group’s needs and the leading of the Holy Spirit. (Note: The Speaker can give examples of his actual experiences in worship leading.)

2. Be a Model

Don’t expect your members to pray and worship hard if they cannot see it in

you. Human beings learn from example, be a model to your members. Be the first ones to sing and clap, to raise hands in worship, to vocalize a prayer,

especially when your members are new or shy.

3. Be Patient and Encouraging

Be patient with our members. Do not expect that they are in the same spiritual level as you are. But patience alone is not enough, you must also

learn to encourage and guide them. That way, they would know that you are concerned with their growth and you want them to genuinely experience God.

4. Persevere to improve

Have that desire to improve as a leader, keep on studying and learning how

to lead effectively. Read books and ask your leaders for tips. Observing other people will also help. We do this so that we will become the best leader for

our members and we will glorify God in the process.

VI. Conclusion

“And all of us, with our unveiled faces like mirrors reflect ing the glory of the

Lord, are being transformed into the image that we reflect in brighter and brighter glory; this is the working of the Lord who is the Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 3:18 (NJB)



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Like Moses, when people are brought into God’s presence, they are changed –

from “one degree of glory to the next”. This is the privilege we have as household heads and leaders of our community—to help people experience the pure joy

and ecstasy of God’s presence in worship. It should be our intention to always bring people into this level of communion and reconciliation with Jesus in spirit

and our own joy to see them somehow changed.

Documents

HHT Manual v2014