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HAZELDEN MEDITATIONS

[Today’s Gift]

SEPTEMBER

Today's [10 Sep 2002] thought is:Somewhere along the line of development we discover what we really

are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible.-Eleanor Roosevelt

Many of us have begun to reexamine our lives and our values. Am I

proud of how I act? Of what I do? Will this decision be in my bestinterest? Do I have strong, interacting relationships?

A likely result of this examination might be that we fool ourselves lessnow and that we don't try to fool others. The discovery of what we

really are and of what is important to us urges us toward greater honesty. We are freer to make amends to friends and family membersfor things we've said or done. We hesitate less in asking for help and in

telling others when we feel wronged. Best of all, we've rid ourselves of

our old victim mentality and have taken responsibility for our lives.

I will begin happily to make responsible decisions today.

The thought for[11 Sep. 2002] today:

I always entertain great hopes.--Robert Frost

In our honest journey, we must admit life is often difficult and painful.But these facts do not describe all of life, and they do not determine how

we respond.

The sun rises warm and bright after a cold and dark night. The open,

generous smile of a small child reaches into the soft part of us all. To

be strong and hardy on this spiritual path, we must be truthful aboutthe pain and unfairness in life while holding firmly to a belief in all

the generous possibilities.

Surrendering to despair, we trade the uncertainty of options for the

certainty of gloom. Then we might say, "At least I'm never disappointed

this way." Life isn't filled only with difficulty and pain. It is also filled

with people whose dignity and spirit rise above their circumstances.These are situations when great sacrifice or love and wisdom turn a

problem into an opportunity and a strength. If we look at what has

happened in our own lives and in those of others, we have amplereason to hope.



Today's [12 Sept.2002] thought is:

Cherish your own emotions and never undervalue them.- Robert Henri

Emotional awareness is the ability to identify when you're experiencinga feeling and then to allow yourself to feel it. Emotions can drive our

behavior at work, so awareness of our emotions can be essential to our

competency at work.

When Robin learned that her senior team partners wanted to restructure

the company, she resisted. She told Bert, a team member and friend,

that she did not see a need for change. She rigidly opposed all theoptions on the table. Bert finally asked her what she was afraid of.

Robin denied any fear, but Bert saw through her. When Bert softly told

Robin it was okay to be afraid, tears ran down Robin's cheeks. Bert wasthe catalyst, helping Robin become aware other emotions regarding the

restructuring. With this information, Robin could begin exploring her

fears and then join the discussion.

Just for today, I will focus on how aware I am of my emotions, When I

have strong feelings, I will try to name them.

Today's [13 Sept. 2002] thought is:

There is no happiness; there are only moments of happiness.

- Spanish proverb

How happy we are right now may hinge on dinnertime - whether it is

just before or just after. It may also depend on whether we are

examining ourselves to see if we are happy or not. There's nothing likea little introspection to convince a person of the futility of life. Just

asking the question, "Am I happy?" can be enough to put us into a

blue mood.

Moments of happiness, like creative thoughts, pass before us all the

time. If we want to enjoy them, it's up to us to reach out and take themwhen they appear. The opportunities are boundless, and they all come

dressed up like other people. No one has ever been happy for long in

isolation. We are not, by nature, solitary creatures. God gave us people

to be with. And as an incentive to be kind to one another, God madeeach of us a source of happiness for others.

If there's anybody around, I won't have to look far for happiness today.

Today's [17 Sep 2002] thought is:

What would it be like if you lived each day, each breath, as a work of art in progress? Imagine that you are a masterpiece unfolding, every

second of every day, a work of art taking form with every breath.

- Thomas Crum



So many of us avoid living in the present moment. We regret getting

into debt and worry about how our debt affects our future.

Daydreaming and pondering are necessary in moderation, but we try to

stay in the present moment for most of the day. To do this, we return to

the most basic element—our breath. We concentrate on taking deep breaths. Barring a respiratory disorder, breathing is simple. When we

return to the simplicity of breathing, we automatically simplify our life

by focusing only on what's happening to one part of our body in one

moment in time.

Today, when I have trouble living in the present, I will concentrate on

my breathing.


The ebb and flow of will is like the movements of the tides.... If we

cease our vain struggles and lamentations long enough to look awayfrom the personal self ... we realize life is going well with us after all.

- Charles B. Newcomb

Everything in nature changes. We can trust the sun and moon will rise

and set, the tide will ebb and flow, and the seasons will change.

Because we can trust these things to happen, we can learn to trust thefact that extremes in nature are normal.

So it is with people. We laugh and cry, work and play, we are young

and we grow old. There will be extremes with us, just as there are innature. And as nature finds its natural flow, even after the worst

disasters, so can we find our natural flow.

There is a rhythm in life that leads us to awaken and one that guides us

to sleep. Tonight our natural rhythm will lead us to peace and

relaxation. If we can flow with that rhythm, we'll give the quietcalmness a chance to revitalize us for tomorrow. Now is the time to

follow nature's rhythm and sleep in peace.

Can I rest tonight in quietness of mind, soul, and body and trust I will

find my natural flow?

Today's [19 Sep 2002] thought is:Saving a time for quiet appreciation ...

An aesthetic life, in the broad sense, is a spiritual life. Couples canstrengthen their partnership and enrich their lives by making aesthetic

experiences daily events. Saving time for quiet appreciation of the good

things in our lives—communicating with each other and with friends,

playing and relaxing, reading to children, cooking and eating tasty,nourishing food—these are some ways to bring beauty into each day.

We can also put attractive pictures and interesting things in our home to

make it a place that comforts and pleases us; we can read interesting books, notice a striped caterpillar on a milkweed or the splash of stars



in the night sky, relish the sensuous pleasure of a warm, soapy bath, see

a good movie, listen to music, grow plants.

We live spiritually when we make a place for beauty and when we slow

down to enjoy the beauty that already surrounds us. We may wonder

what good that may do us. The answer is that these spiritual gesturesadd meaning to all the other parts of our lives.

Take a few minutes now to appreciate something beautiful. Make a

plan to bring some beauty into this day.


God did not make us to be eaten up by anxiety, but to walk erect, free,unafraid in a world where there is work to do, truth to seek, love to

give and win.

--Joseph Fort Newton

Today stands before us with promise. It invites us to fully participatein experiences. That we are alive, that we stand present facing thisday, guarantees that we are qualified to handle every challenge that

snags our attention. And we need have no fear. The world and all

that's in it is spirit-full. We are safe and secure if we'd but believe it.

When we look toward the day with confidence, we tap the inner

strength that is ever-present. The more frequently we turn to this

strength, the less often we are haunted by pangs of anxiety. Our trustin that strength heightens our faith and our understanding that all is

well—always and forever all is well.

Giving up fear offers a freedom that will exhilarate us. Faith, trust,

confidence will ready us for any challenge, all experiences.

Nothing needs to make me fearful today. I am here. Therefore, God is

here too.

Today's [21 Sep 2002] thought is: New feelings may seem uncomfortable at first. I may be used to feeling

afraid and anxious, or depressed and alone. In my new life, I may beginto feel joy or happiness, or peace and calm. These new feelings aresigns that I'm changing and learning how to accept my new way of

thinking. Feeling peaceful means I'm healing from all the crises in my

past. If I confuse feeling peaceful with feeling bored, I need to remindmyself that the absence of fear or crisis takes awhile to get used to. I

am glad to welcome my new feelings and emotions; they are one way

to know how well I'm doing.




Reflection for the Day

It's still not exactly a "piece of cake" for me to accept today's

occasional pain and anxiety with any great degree of serenity, but I'mincreasingly able to be thankful for a certain amount of pain. In The

Program, we find the willingness to do this by going over the lessons

learned from past sufferings — lessons that have led to the blessingswe now enjoy. We can remember how the agonies of addiction — and

the pain of rebellion and bruised pride — have often led us to God's

grace, and thus to new freedom. Have I thanked my Higher Power for

the miracle of my life this day?

Today I Pray

When I was helpless, I asked God for help. When I was hopeless, Ireached out for His hope. When I was powerless over my addiction, I

asked to share His power. Now I can honestly thank God that I was

helpless, hopeless and powerless, because I have seen a miracle.

Today I Will Remember

From powerless highs to a Higher Power.


Pride is the mask of one's own faults.

—Hebrew Proverb

Fear has many disguises. Sometimes it puts on sexy clothes and talks in

the voice of lust. Sometimes it wears the mask of anger or greed or

envy. And sometimes fear pretends to be pride. "I'm smart and strong,"we say to ourselves. "I don't need help. Whatever I have to do, I can do

alone." These are the kinds of things we say when we refuse to join a

group or put off asking someone to be our sponsor or even confide in afriend.

But is it pride or fear talking? Pride takes the illogical stand that in spiteof the pain we've lived with for so long we really are better than others.

Fear, on the other hand, whisperingly suggests that others may be better

than we are, so we'd be safer to hold back so they'll never know.Reaching out for any kind of help would make us vulnerable.

But no one grows as well without support. Strength and pride aside, we

need other people's input, insights, and encouragement. We need people we can trust to hold us accountable. We need to hear about their

struggles and successes. When we insist on going it alone, it's usually

not because we're more independent and self-sufficient than other people. It's because we're afraid.

I need a community of peers for support.


I can hear music...sweet, sweet music.

--Brian Wilson



We often find it helpful to think about the role music has played in our

lives. Sometimes, it has been a problem for us: time spent listening to

loud, blaring music was a time of physical and emotional isolation,usually under the influence of drugs.

In recovery, we may find ourselves drawn to a different kind of music,that speaks to our changing way of life. Perhaps it is more soothing or

relaxing. Perhaps it is a new artist.

Whatever type of music we choose, we find it is much more than a pastime for us. It is an appreciation. Our favorite artists, our favorite

songs; some never change, some do.

Our relationship with music is growing and changing. In recovery we

find music engages our minds and relaxes our bodies in a new way.

Music lifts our spirits, too. We are grateful that music is part of our lifeand that we now have a chance to think about it and perhaps even

develop some new interests. Music is an excellent way to get to know

other people, helps us unwind after a hard day, and adds a new

dimension to our enjoyment of life.

Today I thank You for music. Help me to love and appreciate it even

more now that I am sober.


Practicing principles

Reading, discussing, studying, thinking, or any other form of

intellectual pursuit may play a role in helping us find our Higher

Power. But we don't experience our Higher Power unless we put our principles into action. When we practice our principles, we set

ourselves free so that our behavior does not stand between us and our

Higher Power.

The insights we get from reading, discussing, studying, thinking, and so

on, are healthy food for thought. But, to gain the freedom that comes fromfeeling our Higher Power, we need to practice the principles.

Have I stopped intellectualizing about God?

Higher Power, remind me that insight is not freedom and help me do

what is necessary to find and to know you completely.

I will put my principles into action by ...

God help me to stay clean and sober today.


A man of courage is also full of faith.

-- Cicero



Faith and courage walk hand in hand. Courage empowers us to act in

favor of what we believe, but cannot know. Courage is animated by the

vision of faith. It doesn't take any faith to perform an action that doesn'trequire a risk. Only when the outcome is uncertain, and the effort itself

a feat of daring, must faith and courage come on the scene together to

get the job done.

To reach out to another, if we have known frequent rejection, is to act

courageously in spite of an uncertain outcome. To stand firm in a

decision, if we have always given in and given up, is to back our faithin a most daring and courageous way.

Many recovering people, who never think of themselves as spiritual,are excellent models of faith because they continually reach out for

what is not common in their lives. Because they believe, they're willing

and able to take the risk.

Today, I can do what I believe I can do.

Today's [29 Sep 2002] thought is:Instead of concentrating on why we can't do a thing, we would be wise

to change our "Yes, but . . ." attitude to a more positive one. Saying

"yes" means I really do want to change my life for the better.--Liane Cordes

We truly can do these things that are our "hearts' pure desires."

However, most of us look at the whole task and feel overwhelmed. Weneed, instead, to look at the task's many parts. One part at a time, one

day at a time, we can accomplish any goal we set for ourselves. I know

a recovering woman who wrote a 300-page dissertation, the finalachievement to obtain her PhD. When asked at a meeting how she ever

did it, her reply was, "One word at a time." That's wonderful advice. No

matter how many goals were missed or plans dashed when we werestill using, now that we are recovering, each of us can do whatever is in

our hearts--if we do it little by little, not all at once, today.

Today, I will do one small task that will contribute toward the

achievement of a life goal.

Today's [30 Sep 2002] thought is:Today is the day in which to express your noblest qualities of mind and

heart, to do at least one worthy thing which you have long postponed....

- Grenville Kleiser

Volunteer work. There are volunteer jobs for people with every level of

ability. The main qualification is to care about others. Each day offers

us the opportunity to make a difference in someone else's life. We maychoose to sing in a community choir or to play in an amateur band. Or

we might offer to read stories to or write letters for people with limited

vision.



Volunteer work. What's remarkable are the benefits we will reap from

the simple act of sharing our abilities. our lives, our caring. These acts

affirm the bond that exists between us. They help us move out of a preoccupation with ourselves and our limitations, and they put us into

the mainstream of life.

Today, I will share my abilities and talents with others.

OCTOBER

Today's [2 Oct 2002] thought is:"There is no change without loss."

—Harry Levinson

Renowned psychologist Harry Levinson says that corporations need to

grieve their losses. Much of the dysfunction or "stuckness" in the

workplace comes from the buried emotions of unresolved grief. How

do we handle our feelings when a whole division of our company is

shut down, moved to another city, or sold? How does this connect with previous losses in our lives? Many leaders in the field of addiction

argue that unresolved grief lies at the core of addiction. It is importantthat we recognize our need to grieve—work losses as well as personal

losses. When we acknowledge our personal and shared losses at work,

rather than unknowingly dragging our loads of unresolved grief withus, we feel spiritually alive.

When a large computer parts company laid off thousands of workers,the company brought in professionals to hear their feelings and help the

workers write resumes. This gave the employees an opportunity to both

grieve and focus on a new beginning.

Just for today, I will reflect on my losses—both old and new— and

allow myself to feel them.

Today's [3 Oct 2002] thought is:We find that as we become more centered within the Higher Power part

of us, our ego becomes less real, less threatening, less compelling.

-Jerry Hirshfield



It's a struggle at times for us to remember that our Higher Power never

moves away. God is as close as our breath, awaiting our invitation to

take charge. Frequently this strikes us as new information. But eachtime a friend or a particular reading triggers our recall, we relax,

because we know that God is taking over. Once again we trust that all

is well.

It's our ego that fights giving up control during the early stages of many

of our troubling experiences. We are frustrated again and again as we

try to force what we think is the best solution; again and again, in theend, after we've finally given up the struggle. God smooths the path.

This program guarantees us a smooth trip every step of the way. All wehave to do is give up control to God who is always waiting for us to

turn our attention from our problems to God's presence.

I will feel peace and joy throughout today because I'll remember my

Higher Power presence.

Today's [04 Oct 2002] thought is:We can ask our Higher Power for the gift of willingness.

When we tried to use willpower to control what we ate, we got stuck, because some part of us was resisting. It's as though our will was

divided, pushing in one direction while at the same time pulling in the

opposite direction.

Step Three suggests we turn our will over to an integrating force that is

stronger than we are. We give up self-will, and in exchange we are

made willing to trust a Higher Power.

Willingness leads to healing. It allows us to follow the directions we

receive from the quiet voice inside that speaks to our best interest.Willingness softens our old rigidity and erases can't and won't from our

vocabulary. Willingness puts us in harmony with our spiritual

prompting and in rhythm with the dance of recovery.

Today, I ask for the willingness to move to the rhythm of recovery.

Today's [5 Oct 2002] thought is:…praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry

that out.

— Second half of Step Eleven

Step Eleven teaches us how to pray. We pray for God's will to replace

ours. Our will got us in trouble. God's will guides us to simple serenity.

We pray for power to live a spiritual life. This is important, for it takesmuch strength and courage to live a spiritual life.

The sober path is not always easy. It takes self-discipline. We have tosay no to our self-will. We follow God's will for us. The rewards are



great. We get sobriety. We get serenity. We get friendship. We regain

our family. We get a deep, loving relationship with a Higher Power

who wants peace and joy for us and for the world.

Prayer for the Day

Dear Higher Power, I pray the words of Step Eleven. I pray to knowYour will for me. And I pray that I have the power to carry out Your

will.

Action for the DayI will examine my life. I will look to see how my will gets in the way of

God's will.

Today's [06 Oct 2002] thought is:

My humble beginnings have made me very grateful today.

JIM BURNS

Gratitude doesn't depend only on humble beginnings, even though

that's the case for Jim. Rather, it's a mind-set. It may not be automaticto many of us; however, it can be cultivated. For starters, we can take amoment to remember all the friends and family members who are still

present in our lives. Calling them to express our love, dropping them a

note of appreciation, or walking into the next room to give them a hugwill trigger it. Gratitude always takes willingness on our part and a little

effort.

Those of us who have had seemingly horrendous experiences may findit hard to be grateful. And there are lots of us in this category, but we

must be seeking another perspective or we wouldn't be holding this

book right now. That, in fact, is the miracle of gratitude. It happenswith just a tiny bit of effort, just like the effort we're making right now.

Perhaps we can acknowledge that we're grateful that we still have sight

or the strength to hold this book. That's a beginning, and that's all that'snecessary

I have many things to be grateful for today, even if they don't comeimmediately to mind. Just looking around this room will offer some

examples.

Today's [7 Oct 2002] thought is:Spiritual growth is more of the nature of proceeding

from hunch to hunch than from conclusion to conclusion.

--John Fortunato

Faith and trust in some kind of Higher Power can grow

like a tree from a seed. It doesn’t have to leap into our

lives full grown.

All that faith needs is a small opening, a crack to slip

through. We don’t have to be sure; we don’t have to believe with all our mind and heart. A hunch will do ,



a simple hunch that there is more to this world than what

we might think.

When we allow for the possibility that there is some force

beyond our ego and we whisper, “I can’t do this alone,

please help me,” change begins. The seed takes root inour heart. That’s all we need for a miracle.

Each time we follow our hunches or listen to our

intuition, we water and fertilize our faith. Our trustgrows stronger and the world seems safer. And even

if we don’t have clear, logical explanations for

everything, it doesn’t matter. We’re living from our heart and that feels right.

I cultivate my intuition and watch my faith grow. I shinemy attention on my hunches, like the sun shines on

newly sprouted plants.

Today's [8 Oct 2002] thought is:Our spiritual life is on the same plane as our everyday relationships. It's

not just something within our mind or feelings, and it's not just lofty

and in the clouds. Spirituality is between people and in all relationships.Its growth depends on the way we relate to each other as intimate

partners. We find it in our relationship to ordinary things like the bread

we eat and the water we drink. Spirituality is found in the ways we

honor our body with food and touch, work and rest, and in the ways wehonor each other.

As a couple we jointly extend our spirituality through relationshipswith others. As we become friends with others or as we welcome

people into our home, we receive them with hospitality because God is

found in each of them. When we reach out to others or receive them asguests, they in turn enrich and bless our lives. This spiritual practice of

hospitality has ancient roots all over the world. It teaches us to relate

with generous hospitality to all guests who appear at our door.

Do something generous for someone today.

Today's [9 Oct 2002] thought is:The universe is transformation; our life is what our thoughts make it.

—Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

It's awesome, the power we each wield in the life that unfolds before

us. The inclination of our thoughts invites that which we encounter,

which is that which we expect to find. What we can become or

experience is limited only by our imagination. Our dreams shine like beacons in the dimness of our minds.

Just as our thoughts can nurture positive experiences and outcomes,negative episodes might be drawn to us, too. We can be sure, though,





I am willing to give to others what I want in return today. Their efforts

will match my own.


When a man is deprived of the power of expression, he will express

himself in a drive for power.

--Jose Arguelles

If we are to grow in recovery, if we are to break out of our isolation, if we are one day going to learn to give back some of what we have

received, we must find out what our gifts are. That means making art,

whether by painting or welding or parenting.

Many of us used to think art was luxury; art was for a highbrow elite

and had nothing to do with us or how we lived. But we also used to

think that way about prayer or about God, and now we find both at thecenter of our days.

Art is not about making a product to buy or sell. And it is not aboutsuccess or failure. Whatever we make is a mirror. It's feedback. Art is

about connecting with nature and God and joining them in their

continual act of creation. Art has the power to center us, to stop us inour tracks and make us see.

We've found isolation from other people to be a death, an act of

isolation. So, too, is the refusal to express ourselves. Through art wecan find out what our gifts are, and learn to give them with joy.

Today help me take one step toward finding out what my gifts are.


Recovery is civil war, but it is a war that can be won.

—Sister Imelda

How often do we hear people say, "Sure, I know it's the right thing to

do—but it's easier said than done!'' But "it," whatever "it" is for each of us, is actually easier done than not done. As hard as it is to turn our will

and our behavior toward recovery, failing to recover is much harder.Ultimately, any price we pay for recovery is far less than the cost of giving up everything we've gained.

Some of us have a very difficult time making phone calls. Others arescared to death of speaking at meetings, talking to strangers, or

admitting that we have feelings. But the alternative has simply been too

painful. Whatever we have to do is worth it. The payoff is immense.

How many of us, when we did attend that meeting that frightened us,felt an enormous surge of self-confidence and happiness? How often,

when we have stood our ground and found it did not kill us, have we

felt that we could lick the world? The payoff is that we learn to likeourselves more, and that is as good as it gets.



I will make sure today that I am not forgetting the benefits of recovery

and only considering the price of recovery.


Whoever thinks a faultless piece to see, Thinks what ne'er was, nor is,

nor shall be.

—Alexander Pope

Perfectionism is complex and subtle. Out loud, few of us would say,"Perfection is my only acceptable standard," but in the privacy of our

own minds, many of us talk out of the other side of our mouths: "I must

always give 110 percent." "I must never fail a friend." "For winners,there's really only first place and no place."

Setting a high standard and holding yourself to it is certainly admirable

behavior. No one who shoots too low accomplishes very much. Butthere is a big difference between striving for a high standard and

expecting yourself to achieve it every time out. No one can "always" put out a 110 percent effort; there are days when we only have 80 percent to give. No one "never" drops the ball or bungles an

opportunity; even world-class performers have their off days. And first

place is only as sweet as it is because it's not a permanent position—notfor anyone. In life, there is no such thing as a perfect score.

Impossible demands on self make self-esteem impossible, too. If our

approval is only won by superhuman feats, we won't have much tocheer about. How much healthier and happier we will be when we

eliminate words like always and never from our inner code of conduct.

We need to hear more applause.

My opinion of myself must not rest on words like always and never.

Today's [15 Oct 2002] thought is:Action carries us in the direction we choose.

Recovery involves doing — going to meetings working our program,reaching out to others. We don't get a job by sitting at home thinking

about it, and we don't get a degree by looking at college catalogs.

It's true that we need to reflect; we need quiet times when we pray for

guidance. There comes a point, however, when action is called for,

when we use the power we are given to carry out our Higher Power'swill for our lives to the best of our understanding.

By our actions, we forge new patterns of behavior. We put into practice

the wisdom of the Twelve Steps. Your action today can be somethingas simple as walking out of the kitchen when it's not the right place for

you to be, or something as complex as embarking on a training program

that will prepare you for a new career.



One action leads to another. Doing what we need to do to be abstinent

today adds twenty-four hours to recovery.

Today, I will act on my best understanding of my Higher Power's will

for me.


Edith and I try not to take ourselves too seriously.We laugh a lot at ourselves.

- HARRY BARTHOLOMEW

We'd all benefit if we followed Harry's suggestion. What does it take to

shrug one's shoulders and smile rather than nervously frown at all theexperiences that seem to hinder us? Really nothing but the willingness

to accept that whatever befalls us is no big deal. In the total scheme of

one's life, no single misfortune is truly paramount. In fact, if we've

cultivated humility, we'll quickly see how irrelevant most of our mistakes are.

Laughing over our many experiences, even those that troubled us at thetime they happened, is good medicine in our old age. We can never

laugh too much, some would say. Respected physicians have been

known to say laughter can change the out-come of an illness. We maynot understand just how this works, but we have all experienced how a

good laugh changes the way a situation looks to us. Could it be that

illness is a product of the mind? Might our physical health actually be

in our hands?

We don't need to accept this idea wholly for it to have a positive impact

on our lives. And since we're still here, reading these pages, let's do our part to "see" whatever comes at us today as worthy of a smile, if not a

belly laugh.

I am as happy as I decide to be today.


Information is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we knowwhere we can find information upon it.

- Samuel Johnson

Knowledge is power. The more information we have, the more

empowered we feel. The unknown can be scary. We don't know what

we're getting into so we don't act at all. When we know our legal rightsand obligations, we start making decisions we feel good about. We can

confront difficult situations with confidence instead of fear.

We can get information about our legal rights concerning debt anddivorce or debt and collection agencies by visiting the library, a lawyer.

Debtors Anonymous meetings, financial advisers, and nonprofit

consumer credit agencies.




I want my family to accept me

When I first got sick my family didn't know what was happening. They

got angry. They implored, "What's wrong?" They said "Straighten up!"

They didn't know how difficult their demands were. They didn't know

about addiction or mental illness and that both need treatment andsupport. I think they were very afraid, for me and for themselves.

Of course, I didn't know the whole picture at first either. But through

treatment, I am learning a lot about my illnesses and about myself. I am

slowly coming to accept the way I am right now and my road torecovery. I believe that the more I accept myself, the more others will

accept me.

I will pray for willingness to accept my family, as they are, and ask myhelpers to bring us closer together.

Today's [19 Oct 2002] thought is:When I am lonely, I try to think of angels.

—Betty MacDonald

We need comfort when we feel lonely Loneliness is often coupled withfear. We wonder, Can I handle what faces me today? Often we think

we can't. But we don't ever have to face any situation alone, or handle

any painful relationship in isolation. The "angels" who guide and

protect us are as close as our thoughts.

Twelve Step programs give us the freedom to define our Higher Power in any way that suits us. Believing our Higher Power is an angel

satisfies our need to have someone watching over us, protecting us

wherever we are, loving us despite our failings.

We are nurtured or harmed by the thoughts we carry in our minds.

Imagining an angel or a ring of angels to walk us through each day

relieves our loneliness and dissipates our fears.

I have a friend in my Higher Power. We'll be together throughout thisday.

Today's [20 Oct 2002] thought is:Reflection for the Day

Prayer can have many rewards. One of the greatest rewards is the

sense of belonging it brings to me. No longer do I live as a stranger in



a strange land, alien in a completely hostile world. No longer am I

lost, frightened and purposeless. I belong. We find, in The Program,

that the moment we catch a glimpse of God's will — the moment we begin to see truth, justice and love as the real and eternal things in life

-we're no longer so deeply upset by all the seeming evidence to the

contrary surrounding us in purely human affairs. Do I believe that Godlovingly watches over me?

Today I Pray

May I be grateful for the comfort and peace of belonging — to Godthe ultimately wise "parent" and to His family on earth. May I no

longer need bumper stickers or boisterous gangs to give me my

identity. Through prayer, I am God's.

Today I Will Remember I find my identity through prayer.

Today's [21 Oct 2002] thought is:Anger helps straighten out a problem like a fan helps straighten out a

pile of papers. —Susan Marcotte

Some of us have temper tantrums. Like black clouds, we threaten an

outburst at any moment. Other people learn to check us out for stormwarnings. They want time to clear out or at least to put on a protective

covering. We've caught them by surprise before, and they didn't like it.

Now they've learned to watch out—to stay on their toes when we're

around. Intimidating people, making them glad when we're not aroundso they can relax is a poor way to relate to others.

And what do the outbursts do for us? Is there a cheap sense of power or control for a few minutes? Are we advertising to the world that we're

short on coping skills? Or do we tell ourselves that letting off steam is

necessary once in a while, conveniently forgetting the steam blasting inother people's faces?

No tirade ever solved a problem. Anger is not a strategy. We don't havethe right to rain on other people's parades. Our program can teach us

better ways to deal with our anger—with honesty and fairness to

ourselves and others.

Today, I ask my Higher Power for a peaceful and honest heart

Today's [22 Oct 2002] thought is:Aging is not easy, but what's our alternative?

- HELEN CASEY

The kind of attitude we developed over our lives determined how wesaw every detail of each experience. Even now our attitude holds us

hostage. The misunderstanding that many of us have is that we think

we can't really change how we see our world. Nothing is further fromthe truth. We can make a large or small shift in our perceptions



instantly. The outcome is that everything about our lives changes from

that moment forward. Thus, how we perceive the aging process is

controlled by our willingness to look at it again.

Helen has aged gracefully. At eighty-six, she still finds time for making

new friends, three bridge clubs a week, daily mass, and frequentcommunication with her children and relatives. She carries a positive,

hopeful attitude with her wherever she goes, which inspires others,

young and old.

It wouldn't appear that aging has been hard on Helen. But the truth of

the matter is that she has suffered many losses. What she has managed

to hold onto though is her faith in God and her willingness to see every"glass as half full."

How lucky we are that we can "tinker" with our attitude for as long aswe're alive, and if we aren't completely happy, we have work to do. As

Helen says, there is no alternative to aging, except death. What happens

now is up to us.

I am only as old as I decide to feel today

Today's [23 Oct 2002] thought is:If unmanageability strikes again, it's time to review Step One.

Many of us take Step One again and again. That does not mean the

program is failing for us. It means we are aware of the times when our recovery is precarious, and we know what to do when that happens.

Unmanageability may appear in various guises. We may bite off morethan we can chew in terms of activities — we can binge on work,

parties, even worthwhile community service projects. Our lives easily

become unmanageable if we don't allow sufficient time and space for relaxation. Emotions become unmanageable when self-will runs riot, or

conversely, when we don't take reasonable care of our own needs. And

we know only too well the chaos that ensues when we lapse back intoovereating or restricting.

Step One is there for us, a touchstone when events and feelings threaten

to get out of hand. We can let go of the attempt to do everything,manipulate our emotions, or control other people. By admitting and

accepting our areas of powerlessness and unmanageability, we become

ready to receive help.

Staying close to Step One today will keep me safe.

Today's [24 Oct 2002] thought is:God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,And the wisdom to know the difference.



—Reinhold Niebuhr

Some things I cannot change: my age, who my relatives are, my eyecolor, my height, my childhood experiences, my inborn talents, my

nature, someone else's abuse of alcohol or other drugs, whether the sun

will shine, my job history, what I will inherit, how my parents feel,yesterday's lost opportunities, how long I will live, who forgives me,

how my parents treated me, how much I am loved, the past.

Some things I can change: the youthfulness of my spirit, who myfriends are, my hair color, my weight, my adult experiences, my

achievements, my character, my reaction to someone else's use of

alcohol or other drugs, whether my eyes will shine, my job possibilities, what I will bequeath, how I feel, my ability to act on

today's opportunities, how well I will live, whom I forgive, how I treat

my own children, how much I love, the future.

I thank God for my growing ability to choose.

Today's [25 Oct 2002] thought is:When we really understand the fact of separate realities, we will stop

spending so much time and energy trying to change the reality of

others.-Jane Nelsen

What makes us want to control others, not just their actions but their

opinions too? Do our personal views need the validation of everyonefor us to feel adequate?

Coming to believe that we all have valid perspectives on everyexperience is akin to coming to believe that there is a Higher Power in

charge of our lives. It takes willingness to suspend our assumptions and

adopt the principles of this program.

It's liberating, even exhilarating, to realize that we all see situations a

bit differently. It's like going from a black-and-white picture toTechnicolor. Our experiences are enriched as we view them with new

attitudes.

How I see my experiences today is up to me; how my friends see theirsis up to them. My view may complement theirs, but it's mine, solely.

Today's [26 Oct 2002] thought is:I feel we have picked each other from the crowd as fellow-travelers, for

neither of us is to the other's personality the end-all and the be-all.

--Joanna Field

We must look around at the people in our lives today, and know that

we have something special to offer each of them, and they to us. We do

travel separate paths together. We may need to learn tolerance; perhapsa friend's behavior pushes us to be more tolerant. Impatience may be



our nemesis, and everywhere we turn are lines, slow cash registers,

traffic jams. Our experiences with others aren't chance. Fellow

travelers are carefully selected by the inner self, the spiritual guide whounderstands our needs in this life.

We are both the teachers and the pupils. We need both our friends andthose we may label our enemies for what they can help us learn.

I will carefully look about me today with gladness at the travelers I've

selected to learn from.


To give and to receive are one in truth.-A Course in Miracles

Giving our love away, honoring someone in need by giving our full

attention, will usually bring kindness and concern in return. Andunkindness and neglect on our part are likely to result in the same

from others. We will usually elicit that which we've so thoughtfully or thoughtlessly given.

Not many elements in our life are so fully in our control as how we

choose to treat other people. There are few among us who aren'tmoved by another's expression of pure, unconditional love. We are

humbled by it and feel valued. We can honor the existence of our

fellow travelers by our open, willing love for them too.

We need to feel appreciated. And yet, to express appreciation is such a

simple act, one that has profound effects for all concerned. Acts of

kindness multiply very quickly; we contribute to a world favoring our true humanity when we give out loving thoughts even as we receive

them.

I will extend the hand of love to a friend today and thus help to make a

better world

Today's [28 Oct 2002] thought is:Reflection for the Day

If I believe that it's hopeless to expect any improvement in my life, I'mdoubting the power of God. If I believe I have reason for despair, I'mconfessing personal failure, for I do have the power to change myself;

nothing can prevent it but my own unwillingness. I can learn in The

Program to avail myself of the immense, inexhaustible power of God-if I'm willing to be continually aware of God's nearness. Do I still

imagine that my satisfaction with life depends on what someone else

may do?

Today I Pray

May I give over my life to the will of God, not to the whims and

insensitivities of others. When I counted solely on what other peopledid and thought and felt for my own happiness, I became nothing more



than a cheap mirror reflecting others' lives. May I remain close to God

in all things. I value myself because God values me.

Today I Will Remember Stay close to God


Keeping my mind active through good, intellectual discussions is

important to me. Talking over golf scores doesn't take us very far.Louise Jerome

Small talk is what engages us much of the time. There's nothing

shameful about that. Many of the individuals we're in the company of

are strangers to us. Inconsequential discussions seem safer then. Yet,keeping our minds active through thoughtful discussions about the

world expands our knowledge and awareness. This exercises our minds

in important ways. Just as muscles atrophy when unused, so do minds.

Many people shy away from in-depth discussions. Maybe we

frequently do that, too. Oftentimes it's because we feel inadequate toothers. Maybe we assume they are better educated. Fears of inadequacyare familiar to most of us. Will we ever learn that we are and always

have been all that we've needed to be?

One of the good things about growing old, for some of us at least, is

that we've lived long enough to realize that most worries don't

materialize, most situations aren't as serious as we anticipate, and most

people are more approachable than they first appear to be. Taking risksto share our thoughts gets easier the more we practice it. Let's not shy

away from this today.

I'll dare to share my opinions today.

A good discussion can energize me.


Don't miss out on today's learning experiences.

They won't come again. We will never have another day exactly liketoday, so let's take advantage of the lessons we're offered.

We don't like to make mistakes, and we don't like to be in situations

that are fraught with stress, but mistakes and distress seem to go alongwith being human and alive. Both can be turned into sound learning

experiences.

We don't learn if we try to deny or ignore the situation we don't like or don't handle well; nor do we learn if we try to fix unpleasant

circumstance with over- and undereating. How much better if we can

accept the difficulty, see how we have contributed to it, and arrive at a positive course of action. And how often it helps to talk about the



problem with someone else instead of pridefully insisting on muddling

through alone. Very likely, we will discover that today's richest

learning experiences are those we share with others.

I will accept the lessons today offers and share them with someone else

so that we both can grow.

Today's [31 Oct 2002] thought is:A crisis is an opportunity to rely on our Higher Power.

When we came to this program, we were told right away that a Higher

Power is watching out for us and that we can look to that Power

whenever we want guidance or peacefulness. Let's not resist thisinvitation.

Most of us had daily crises before turning to this program for help. Our

attempts to control other people caused many of these crises. So didour reactions to the natural ebb and flow of human existence. Now we

have to take the plunge and begin to rely on our God, however weunderstand God, to show us the way to handle every experience that's part of our Divine unfolding.

I will look to God today, and every experience will make sense in thewhole of my existence.

NOEVEMBER

Today's [01 Nov 2002] thought is:

The cause is hidden, but the result is known.

- Ovid

We know it's coming before we do it. Our boyfriend dumps us and we

devour the ice cream. We don't get the promotion so we head for the

bar. We have a fight with our spouse and treat ourselves to a new



leather jacket—at his or her expense. We decide that because we're

feeling bad anyway, we might as well take full advantage of it. We

figure the worse we feel, the more entitled we are to the indulgence.

This type of behavior starts a cycle. The worse we feel, the more we

want to self-destruct. Let's face it - our actions are usually premeditated.

We think about the ice cream, the drink, or the leather jacket until we

can get to it. During the planning stage, we can shift gears. We think it

through. We know we have a choice. We decide to do somethinghealthy instead of destructive.

Today I will make only healthy choices for myself.


A.A. Thought for the Day

When I came into A.A., I learned what an alcoholic was and then Iapplied this knowledge to myself to see if I was an alcoholic. When I

was convinced that I was an alcoholic, I admitted it openly. Since then,have I been learning to live accordingly? Have I read the book,Alcoholics Anonymous? Have I applied the knowledge gained to

myself? Have I admitted openly that I am an alcoholic? Am I ready to

admit it at any time when I can be of help?

Meditation for the Day

I will be renewed. I will be remade. In this, I need God's help. His spirit

shall flow through me and, in flowing through me, it shall sweep awayall the bitter past. I will take heart. The way will open for me. Each day

will unfold something good, as long as I am trying to live the way I

believe God wants me to live.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be taught, just as a child would be taught. I pray that Imay never question God's plans, but accept them gladly.


We don't need crutches.

We are unique and wonderful people. We have weaknesses, yes, andwe also have strengths beyond our imagining. We can meet the daywithout the prop of food we don't need or an overly restrictive diet. We

can put away these crutches and just be ourselves.

Perhaps we needed a crutch at one time. We got used to it, and even

though it was in our way and slowed us down, we were afraid to

venture forth without it. Gradually, the crutch began to control our

movements and take over our life. We became its slave.

Then we were invited to consider the possibility of a Higher Power that

would eliminate our need for a crutch. Intrigued, we began to practicerelying on this Higher Power in concrete ways on a daily basis.



We are learning how to walk again. Scary sometimes, without the old

props, but Step by Step we're on our way to recovery.

Just for today, I will put away the crutches I no longer need and rely on

my Higher Power.

Today's [04 Nov 2002] thought is:Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

—Step Six of Alcoholics Anonymous

Readiness is the key to all-important passages in life. Until we're ready

to know something, the mystery is not revealed. Until we're ready to dosomething, the power is not mobilized. Until we're ready to receive a

gift, even if we trip over it, that gift will not be ours. It may not even be

recognized as a gift.

The Sixth Step talks about our readiness to have the obstacles to our

happiness removed. These obstacles are our character defects. Untilwe're ready to let them go - boxed up, on the porch, waiting for pickup,so to speak - they will be left with us. It's that simple.

The Sixth Step is also very specific about who will take them away. For all our intelligence and willpower, we're not the ones who do the

removing. When we're ready to admit the power of God into our lives,

and only then, we will be ready for freedom.

The experience of my fellows has empowered me to have faith in

renewal.


Celebrate your life and hear your spirit sing.

- Elisabeth L.

"What's to celebrate?" some people ask. We all get our fill of the

cynics. Their negativity can weigh down our spirits. But we don't have

to let them control how we see our lives or theirs. To keep our own perceptions positive, it helps to detach from the naysayers. We will

improve our chances if we consciously focus on gratitude for even thetiny blessings rather than on whatever might be wrong.

Becoming grateful is the strongest, safest means of feeling good now

that we are abstinent. Not only does it readily alter our mood, but itchanges our perspective on every detail of our lives. To be thankful

rather than "thankless" is a small price to pay for unqualified happiness

coupled with serenity.

We've all known people who radiate a singing spirit. They love life,

themselves, and others. We seek out their company. We can be like

those people for the travelers sharing our journey. Let's do it!



I will practice gratitude today and be a blessing in everyone's life.

Today's [06 Nov 2002] thought is:There are as many ways to live and grow as there are people. Our own ways are

the only ways that should matter to us.

--Evelyn Mandel

Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have themlive, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the

goal we are seeking in this recovery program, in this life.

We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden.

Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job. Learning to behaveresponsibly takes practice. Most of us in this recovery program have

behaved irresponsibly for much of our lives. Emotional immaturity is

slow to depart, but every responsible action we take gives us the

courage for another--and then another. Our own fulfillment is the by- product of the accumulation of our own responsible actions. Others'

actions need not concern us.

Today, I will weigh my behavior carefully. Responsible behavior

builds gladness of heart.

Today's [ 07 Nov 2002] thought is:Retirement makes it possible to do what you've never had time to do.

- Fran Coyne

It's an all too common refrain: "If only I had more time." That's onewish that has probably come true for all of us now. But how

appreciative are we of the extra hours? Do we squander them;complaining about the imperfect world we inhabit? Let's consider an

alternative, if that's the case. Let's take a few moments right now to

note the blessings we've experienced over our many decades. Let's

recall, too, the good fortunes that have been bestowed on friends andfamily. Now let's allow ourselves to dream a bit about what we'd like to

experience next in our lives.

We'll change our perspectives on the past as well as the present if we

do this exercise. Generally, that's all we need to do to realize just how prolific our many opportunities for new experiences really are. It has been said that any worthy, reasonable idea for action that comes to us is

not by chance but rather a suggestion from our divine inner voice.

Whether we believe that or not right now, let's "go along." What can ithurt to follow through on a suggestion that isn't going to infringe on

another person? We just may discover that we are finally doing what

we've been waiting to do all these many years.

If I'm not sure what I want to do today, I'll take a moment to fantasize

about the possibilities. One of them will seem right.



Today's [08 Nov 2002] thought is:If we see only ourselves, it's a very lonely world.

We can learn the difference between taking care of ourselves positivelyand being so negatively self-centered that we are forced into solitary

confinement, where we dry up for lack of genuine interchange.

We should know who we are. But we should also know who our neighbor is, and our friend, sister, boss, or child. To know other people

and see beneath the exterior they present, we need to be comfortable

enough with ourselves so we can relax and look and listen. We alsoneed to be humble enough to realize we can learn from someone else

and benefit from the gifts she or he brings to the relationship.

With recovery comes new empathy and sensitivity. As self-will loosens

its grip, we are open to the intuitive knowledge that enhances our

interactions with those around us. Since our vision is less clouded by

the problems of addiction, we can see others more clearly andunderstand them better. Recovery offers us a way out of loneliness into

companionship and community.

I will use my empathy to deepen my understanding of those who cross

my path today.

Today's [09 Nov 2002] thought is:When we walk to the edge of all the light, we have to take the step into

the darkness of the unknown, and we must believe that one of two

things will happen. There will be something solid for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly.

- Patrick Overton

Have you ever quit a job? At times, such a move is quite appropriate.

Because of the amount of travel required for Leonard's job, he seldomsaw his four-year-old son or his wife. At one point, he felt that his

relationship with his wife was becoming distanced. On a long flight

back from Europe one day, he decided that he had to quit. Leonard's

wife, Nancy, supported him in his decision. He began looking for jobswith less travel, but he also wanted to take his time and choose well.

When his boss asked him to go on another four-week trip, Leonard

trusted his instincts and resigned, on the spot, without the security of having another position lined up. Within two months, Leonard realized

that quitting had been the right decision; he was grateful for his trust.

During this time he did find a new job.

Just for today, I will ask myself whether my work sustains me.

Today's [10 Nov 2002] thought is:A.A. Thought for the Day



When temptation comes, as it does some times to all of us, I will say to

myself: "No, my whole life depends on not taking that drink and

nothing in the world can make me do it." Besides, I have promised thatHigher Power that I wouldn't do it. I know that God doesn't want me to

drink and I won't break my promise to God. I've given up my right to

drink and it's not my decision any longer. Have I made the choice onceand for all, so that there's no going back on it?


In silence comes God's meaning to the heart. I cannot judge when itenters the heart. I can only judge by results. God's word is spoken to the

secret places of my heart and, in some hour of temptation, I find that

word and realize its value for the first time. When I need it, I find itthere. "Thy Father, who seethe in secret, shall reward thee openly."

Prayer for the DayI pray that I may see God's meaning in my life. I pray that I may gladly

accept what God has to teach me.

Today's [11 Nov 2002] thought is:With abstinence, we feel both joy and sorrow more acutely.

We can dull our feelings by overeating and numb them by undereating.Both are ways in which we anesthetize our emotions.

Most of us would probably rather not feel pain, but the price of shutting

down our feelings is high, since we miss having delightful feelings aswell as unpleasant ones. Many of us were so accustomed to concealing

our emotions that we weren't sure what it was we were feeling or if we

were feeling anything at all!

Once we are eating normally, we begin to experience more deeply how

it feels to be angry or sad or afraid. We develop a greater capacity tofeel joy and happiness. We find we can ride out emotional ups and

downs and learn from them. It is as though we are waking up to a full

range of emotions, which are ours to feel and express.

Today, I will not hide from my emotions — they are part of me.

Today's [12 Nov 2002] thought is:What I said never changed anybody; what they understood did.

- Paul. P.

How often have we given our all to change somebody else? How

frantically have we tried to force a loved one to see the light? How

hopelessly have we watched a destructive pattern - perhaps a pattern

we know well from personal experience - bring terrible pain tosomeone who is dear to us?

All of us have.



We would do anything to save the people we love. In our desperation,

we imagine that if we say just the right words in just the right way, our

loved ones will understand.

If change happens, we think our efforts have succeeded.

If change doesn't happen, we think our efforts have failed. But neither

is true. Even our best efforts don't have the power to change someone

else. Nor do we have that responsibility. People are only persuaded by

what they understand. And they, as we, can understand a deeper truthonly when it is their time to grow toward deeper understanding. Not

before.

Today, I will focus on changing myself and entrust those I love to the

Higher Power who loves them even more than I do.

Today's [13 Nov 2002] thought is:I believe that true identify is found . . . in creative activity springing

from within. It is found, paradoxically, when one loses oneself. Womancan best re-find herself by losing herself in some kind of creativeactivity of her own.

--Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Creative activity might mean bird watching, tennis, quilting, cooking,

painting, writing. Creative activity immerses us fully in the here and

now, and at the same time it frees us. We become one with the activity

and are nourished by it. We grow as the activity grows. We learn whowe are in the very process of not thinking about who we are.

Spirituality and creativity are akin. There is an exhilaration rooted deepwithin us that is a lifeline to God. Creative activity releases the

exhilaration, and the energy goes through us and out to others. We find

ourselves and our higher power through the loss of our self-consciousselves while creating--a picture, a sentence, a special meal.

Creativity is a given. It is another dimension of the spiritual presenceguiding us all. I'll get out of its way today.

Today's [14 Nov 2002] thought is:Learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks.- Isaac Watts

We marry for better or for worse, we expect some ups and downs, butonce we feel we've been betrayed, we are lost.

If we've been lied to so many times we can no longer think straight, if

we've been fooled into thinking we are at fault for an impossiblefinancial situation because we don't work, don't earn enough, or

because we spend too much, if we've been manipulated into believing

that by co-signing a loan all our problems would disappear, or if our spouse has credit card bills delivered to a post office box or to another



address, we've been betrayed. The person we thought we were

supposed to trust and to turn to for emotional support is not being

trustworthy or supportive.

Getting through betrayal is a long process, one that both parties must be

willing to commit to in the most profound way. If one party isunwilling to be consistently trustworthy and the other is unwilling to

forgive, the cracked foundation only crumbles further.

Today I will understand that trust is a core component of anysuccessful relationship, and I will know that I deserve a trustworthy

partner.



Have I turned to a Higher Power for help? Do I believe that each man

or woman I see in A.A. is a demonstration of the power of God tochange a human being from a drunkard into a sober, useful citizen? Do

I believe that this Higher Power can keep me from drinking? Am Iliving one day at a time? Do I ask God to give me the power to staysober for each twenty-four hours? Do I attend A.A. meetings regularly?

Meditation for the DayI believe that God's presence brings peace and that peace, like a quiet-

flowing river, will cleanse all irritants away. In these quiet times, God

will teach me how to rest my nerves. I will not be afraid. I will learn

how to relax. When I am relaxed, God's strength will flow into me. I will be at peace.

Prayer for the DayI pray for that peace which passes all understanding. I pray for that

peace which the world can neither give nor take away.

Today's [16 Nov 2002] thought is:Wisdom is knowing what to do next.

- Herbert Hoover

We've all heard stories of people who've been denied credit because of

faulty credit reports. The potential for error is great, especially if we'vegone through divorce.

Just as we want to be informed about how much money our IRA is

making or how much interest a credit card charges, we want to knowwhat the various credit agencies have on our file. Three agencies

currently disperse credit reports. We're wise to contact each one to be

assured that the files are up to date.

Today I will arrange to get copies of my credit reports.




Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.- Joe B.

Oh, how we hate pain! Doesn't everyone? And it isn't true that pain isennobling or in some other mysterious way "good for you." The only

people who say that are those who have gotten by, so far, without much

pain. But sometimes things have to get worse - more painful - before

they get better.

We feel painful conflict when we start to recover After all, we have

lived in certain systems for many years. And these systems are self- perpetuating—they always seek stability. Sparks fly when we move in

on our systems and start to change the rules. There is always

confrontation when we act instead of react. And confrontation meanschallenge. In the midst of conflict and confusion, the pain of forging on

can be almost unbearable. It would be so easy to throw in the towel and

surrender. But sometimes there's just no way out but through. The

rewards of discovering that path are great and will stay with us for alifetime.

Today, I pray for courage to persist. If there has to be pain, let meaccept it now, get on with it, and through with it.


I want, by understanding myself, to understand others. I want to be allthat I am capable of becoming . . . This all sounds very strenuous and

serious. But now that I have wrestled with it, it's no longer so. I feel

happy--deep down. All is well.--Katherine Mansfield

All is well. In the midst of turmoil, let us remember, all is well; in themidst of the pain of self-awareness, all is well. The struggle of the

turmoil, the pain that accompanies the lessons of self-awareness, are

preparing us for becoming all we are meant to become. We each have aspecial gift to offer in this life. We will come to understand those gifts

and be able to give them as we grow with the pain of self-

understanding. All is well. Deep down happiness ripples, it's rippling to

the surface of our lives.

My lesson for today is understanding, of myself and others. Happiness

is the grade I earn each day of my "becoming."


[Suicide is] the severest form of self-criticism.

- Leonard Levinson

When we feel hopeless and despondent, suicide can seem like the best,

the easiest, and the fastest solution.



If we're feeling hopeless and despondent because of our financial

situation or an addiction or both, we need to get help. Suicidal thoughts

are more common than we might expect. Those who live to tell abouttheir thoughts will tell us how grateful they are for getting through—

rather than abruptly ending—the pain. In retrospect, they realize that no

loss or pain is worth ending our lives over.

We think it through. Our religious beliefs may tell us that suicide is a

sin, that our souls will suffer in purgatory. Or maybe we believe in

reincarnation and envision coming back into this world only to have torepeat the pain—to get through the lesson—so that we learn what our

Higher Power has put us here to learn.

Today I will know in my heart that life gets better; life can be

cherished. The deeper my pain the greater the joy to come.

Today's [20 Nov 2002] thought is: Nothing ever succeeds which exuberant spirits have not helped to

produce. —Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

How frequently do you see life energy at work? Life energy is a

powerful, vibrant, positive force that can lead people in new directions.And it is contagious.

Recently, I used guided imagery when helping a group of managers on

their visions of upcoming management changes. Todd, the assistantstore manager, was negative. He saw himself driving a school bus

loaded with passengers who were all asleep. Todd said, "I am doing all

the driving and I have to get them where they are going." Todd'scolleague Jack replied, "Well, I see us as a group of climbers,

ascending a not-too-steep mountain. We are all roped together,

assisting one another up toward the summit." "And with enthusiasm,"he quickly added. To this, Todd replied, "Well you have a lot more

hope than I do!" Jack said, "I'll carry the enthusiasm and hope initially

if you will carry it when you see us making progress!" "Sure, I can dothat," replied Todd. Within months, all of the group members were on

their new climb; Jack's energy had ignited them. Todd joined in, with

hope. They climbed successfully and gradually implemented the

changes.

Just for today, I will allow my exuberance to shine. I will not

apologize for my life energy.


What is strength without a double share of wisdom? Vast, unwieldy,

burdensome proudly secure, yet liable to fall. —John Milton

What do we mean when we say someone is strong? That they have bigmuscles? Can endure anything without getting tired, let alone giving



up? Do strong people never bend? Never break?

Some of us are afraid to show weakness of any kind. We take our supposed strength as the central fact of our lives. Over time, we may

even come to think of ourselves as indestructible. We imagine that

everything—people, places, and things—can be pounded into place if we come on with enough force. One man at a meeting shared that he

had been confined to a hospital bed after a serious heart attack. Since

he had been forbidden exertion of any kind, he said he made himself

get out of bed, walk across the room, and pick up a scrap of paper from the floor. Just to prove that he could, he said.

Many of us are more like this man than we care to admit. May we,like him, become willing to accept our strength as our weakness, if

that is the case.

Today, let me accept my very real and human limitations.

Today's [22 Nov 2002] thought is:In a culture where approval/disapproval has become the predominantregulator of effort and position, and often the substitute for love, our

personal freedoms are dissipated.

--Viola Spolin

Wanting others to approve our efforts, our appearance, our aspirations

and behavior is perfectly normal, certainly not unhealthy. However,

needing the approval in order to proceed with our lives is.

In early childhood we are taught to obey others and to please them. We

confuse love with approval, and we begin to march to someone else'sdrum. Then we get even more approval. But soon we get out of step

with ourselves; we neglect our personal needs and become puppets.

Giving away our power to the whims of others weakens our Spirit.Personal freedom means choosing our own behavior; it means acting

rather than reacting. It also means allowing ourselves the full adventure

of living, of meeting each moment wholly, of responding in a pure,spontaneous, personally honest manner. Only then can we give to life

what is ours to give.

Each of us has a unique part to play in the drama of life. And we needto rely on our higher power for our cues, not on those whose approval

we think we need. When we turn within for guidance, all the approval

we could hope for will be ours.

I will be free today. I will let no one control my actions. I will let God

give the only approval that counts. Aligning my will with God's willguarantees it.


Reflection for the DayI must never forget who and what I am and where I come from. I have



to remember the nature of my illness and what it was like before I came

to The Program. I'll try to keep the memory green, yet not spend my

time dwelling morbidly on the past. I won't be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to others, so others will give to

me. Can I ever afford to forget what it used to be like, even for one

minute?

Today I Pray

May I never forget the painful days of my addiction. May I never forget

that the same misery awaits me if I should slip back into the old patterns. At the same time, may such backward glances serve only to

bolster my own present strength and the strength of others like me.

Please, God, do not let me dredge up these recollections in order tooutdo or "out drunk" my fellow members. Like other; who are

chemically dependent, I must be wary of my desire to be centerstage in

the spotlight.


I do more when I don't 'outdo.'


Hitch your wagon to a star.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Millions of people are sober and have peace of mind

through the Twelve Steps. Like the stars, the Steps are

always there. At times, clouds block our view of the stars, but we know they’re still there. Let’s view the Twelve

Steps in the same way.

It is said that the stars are the gate to heaven, that we pass

through their beauty to get ready to enter heaven. The

Twelve Steps are the gate to spirituality here on earth. Wetravel through their beauty on our way to a spiritual

awakening. Hitch your wagon to the Steps, and get ready

for the ride of a lifetime!

Prayer for the Day

I pray to remember that the Steps keep me sober. I pray

that I will follow where the Steps take me.

Action for the Day

I’ll look at the stars tonight. I’ll think of them as symbols of my life touched by the Twelve Steps.


It is often the fear of rejection which makes us afraidto give of ourselves. The person who is reluctant to share

at a meeting may be holding back because of this fear.

To share is to reveal who we are and where we are. If wefeel inadequate, we do not want to expose this imagined



inadequacy to other people.

If our self-image is too grand and inflated, we cannot possibly live up to it in reality. Expecting ourselves to be

perfect sets us up for frustration and fear, since we know

deep down that we do not measure up to our image of perfection.

With humility comes the willingness to give of what

we have and what we are right now, without waitinguntil we are more eloquent or more accomplished. What

we have to share is what someone else needs to receive.

By focusing more on the needs of others and less on theimaginary concept of ourselves, which is our ego, we

learn to overcome our fear of giving. What we have to

give now is enough for today.

May I not be afraid to give.

Today's [26 Nov 2002] thought is:One day, my son brought a gerbil home to live with us.

We put it in a cage. Some time later, the gerbil escaped.

For the next six months, the animal ran frightened and wildthrough the house. So did we – chasing it.

“There it is. Get it!” we’d scream, each time someone

spotted the gerbil. I, or my son, would throw downwhatever we were working on, race across the house, and

lunge at the animal hoping to catch it.

I worried about it, even when we didn’t see it. “This

isn’t right,” I’d think. “I can’t have a gerbil running loose

in the house. We’ve got to catch it. We’ve got to dosomething.”

A small animal, the size of a mouse had the entirehousehold in a tizzy.

One day, while sitting in the living room, I watched the

animal scurry across the hallway. In a frenzy, I startedto lunge at it, as I usually did, then I stopped myself.

No, I said. I’m all done. If that animal wants to live inthe nooks and crannies of this house, I’m going to let it. I’m

done worrying about it. I’m done chasing it. It’s an

irregular circumstance, but that’s just the way it’s going tohave to be.

I let the gerbil run past without reacting. I felt slightly

uncomfortable with my new reaction – not reacting – butI stuck to it anyway.

I got more comfortable with my new reaction – not



reacting. Before long, I became downright peaceful with

the situation. I had stopped fighting the gerbil. One after-

noon, only weeks after I started practicing my new attitude,the gerbil ran by me, as it had so many times, and I barely

glanced at it. The animal stopped in its tracks, turned

around, and looked at me. I started to lunge at it. It startedto run away. I relaxed.

“Fine,” I said. “Do what you want.” And I meant it.

One hour later, the gerbil came and stood by me, and

waited. I gently picked it up and placed it in its cage, where

it has lived happily ever since. The moral of the story?Don’t lunge at the gerbil. He’s already frightened, and

chasing him just scares him more and makes us crazy.

Detachment works.

Today, I will be comfortable with my new reaction –

not reacting. I will feel at peace.


Hitch your wagon to a star.--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Millions of people are sober and have peace of mind

through the Twelve Steps. Like the stars, the Steps arealways there. At times, clouds block our view of the stars,

but we know they’re still there. Let’s view the Twelve

Steps in the same way.

It is said that the stars are the gate to heaven, that we pass

through their beauty to get ready to enter heaven. TheTwelve Steps are the gate to spirituality here on earth. We

travel through their beauty on our way to a spiritual

awakening. Hitch your wagon to the Steps, and get readyfor the ride of a lifetime!

Prayer for the Day

I pray to remember that the Steps keep me sober. I praythat I will follow where the Steps take me.

Action for the DayI’ll look at the stars tonight. I’ll think of them as symbols of

my life touched by the Twelve Steps.

Today's [28 Nov 2002] thought is:Come, ye thankful people, come,

Raise the song of Harvest-home;

All is safely gathered in,Ere the winter storms begin.



--Henry Alford

Those who celebrated the first Thanksgiving wereisolated, needy people who barely had a toehold in a

strange land. They knew that the battle was just

beginning, that they were looking down the long barrel of a bitter winter.

They didn’t wait to give thanks until they had won.

They gave thanks for the success of survival--theywere still alive. They gave thanks for the possibility

of what could be, not that they had been spared

enormous suffering and effort--because they hadn’t.

As we sit in our easy chairs, smell the turkey

roasting in our self-cleaning ovens, and wait for thefootball game on television, we might meditate for a

few minutes on the original thanksgiving. It may

put us in touch with the true spirit of the day.

Today, I give thanks for the chance to give thanks.


“And if not now, when?”

--The Talmud

It’s so easy to put things off. Sometimes we’re like

Scarlet O’Hara, who hoped and dreamed for a better

life by saying, “There’s always tomorrow.” But isthere always a tomorrow? If we live too many of

our days counting on tomorrows, we may find

ourselves putting off achievements and growth now.

What if tomorrow never came? What if all of our

time to do what we wanted was put in the hours leftin today? We’d be scurrying around like mice trying

to cram as much as we could into this short period

of time. But today, not having such a deadline, we

believe our time is endless and no goal or task is soimportant that it can’t be put off.

The time to achieve is now. The time to live is now.For as long as we believe tomorrow will come,

we’ll be living for tomorrow. If we don’t believe

today is the greatest gift we could receive, we’llnever know how to live for today. Everything we

want to achieve, to learn, to share can begin today.

If we don’t live the best we can right now, then

when?

Higher Power, help me learn to use my time wisely.

Help me avoid putting things off.




“Laughter is as good as jogging for our heart, lungs,and brain.”

--Gail Grenier Sweet

Laughter is good for our self-esteem, too. Wise

people throughout the ages have told us thatlaughter is the best folk medicine there is for

whatever ails us. Some studies have even shownthat laughter seems to alter our brain chemistry and,

thus, our immune system. The well-known

publisher Norman Cousins’ laughter-poweredrecovery from devastating illness is a convincing

case in point.

But scientific proof isn’t even necessary. Just look around you. Don’t the light-hearted, playful people

you know seem to get more out of life thaneverybody else? Laughing is fun. And when we’rehaving fun, it’s hard to be down on ourselves, think

negative thoughts, or in any other way sabotage our

prospects for success.

Laughter lightens the soul, makes friends of

enemies, and plugs us into the heart of God--who

wants nothing so much for us as happiness. All of the above are marvelous for our self-esteem.

I have as much reason to laugh as I do to scowl



DECEMBER

Today's [01 Dec 2002] thought is:

We honor the spirit in other people when we listen

to them.

God’s messages surround us. The twenty-four hours before us are special, never to be repeated. The

people we share the day with carry our lessonswithin their words and actions. Let’s be vigilant in

our attempts to listen.

We have so much to learn, and that’s why we’re

here. Our lives have purpose, even though we might

fail to grasp it. Remembering that God is trying toreach us in even the most mundane of

circumstances keeps us attentive to everyone in our

lives. Our attention to others triggers their lessons



too.

The cycle is never-ending. We are not here byaccident, we are here by design. The role addiction

plays in our lives is part of the design. We can learn

our lessons and fulfill our purpose only byacknowledging the spirit, the presence of God,

within each person God has ushered to us.

I will pay special attention to the people in my lifetoday. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing they are

part of God’s plan for me.


“To affect the quality of the day--that is the highest

of the arts.”

--Henry David Thoreau

We are the sculptors of our day. We can mold itcreatively into a wonderful masterpiece. We controlthe amount of moisture we mix into our clay. We

pound it, shape it, stroke it, love it. Others can offer

suggestions, and we gain new perspectives fromtheir advice, but it is finally our own creation. Our

knife may occasionally slip, or our mixture of earth

may be too dry. Any great artist suffers temporary

setbacks. Besides, imperfections in art make it allthe more interesting.

How creative can I be in my life today?


“One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the

beach; one can collect only a few, and they aremore beautiful if they are few.”

--Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Being selective in choosing activities, in choosing

friends, in choosing material possessions fostersunexpected appreciation. Too much of any onething negates whatever specialness might have been

realized. If we surround ourselves with

acquaintances, we never fully share in knowing afew people well. If we surround ourselves with

“toys,” we never learn how we really want to spend

our time.

When we don’t take life slowly, piece by piece (one

shell at a time), we avoid the greatest discovery of

all, the person within. When our attention to persons, places, things is deliberate and steady, the



beauty within the object of our focus shines forth,

and we, too, are made more beautiful in the process.

Today, I will take time to smell the flowers.


“People have always wanted to talk to me about

their problems. I guess I’m a good listener. Maybe Ihave something to contribute after all.”

--JoAnn Reed

No one is without value in this life. Maybe we

haven’t discovered our unique purpose or specialgifts, but we each have a place in the universe or we

wouldn’t be here.

Each of us can offer friends a valuable gift everyday--we can listen. Messages from our Higher

Power often come through the words of others. We perform a wonderful service for our companions bylistening and by sharing our own experience and

advice.

Rapt attention--giving it and receiving it--is perhaps

the most valuable contribution any of us can make.

Let’s never underestimate the sacredness of

listening.

I will keep my own mind quiet if a friend wants to

share her concerns today. That way, my heart may be able to offer her the wisdom she needs.

Today's [05 Dec 2002] thought is:Your Life Is Your Art

A short time ago, a friend handed me the followingcredo. It read:

This is the artist’s dream:To receive the inspiration to create,To share that creation with others,

And to be totally supported in the process.

I asked him to explain further. “It all begins with

inspiration,” he said, “an inspiration that calls us to

create. Once the inspiration is received, then we can

bring that vision into the world as a song, painting, book, invention, new business--or any other

tangible form.

“After the creation is born, it needs to be shared



with others. No one creates in a vacuum. It is only

when the vision is successfully communicated to its

intended audience that it truly comes alive.

“Finally, the artist needs to be supported for what he

does. If he has made a positive connection with hisaudience, the support will come--financially and

emotionally. And while it may not always be there

immediately, it will ultimately arrive. This is where

the artist needs to trust and be patient.”

This dream is not just the artist’s dream. It is our

dream as well. Through work or play, job or family,vocation or avocation, you can experience the joy of

creating, sharing, and being acknowledged.

Experience this creative process and you will never grow old in spirit. Have you ever known an artist or

dreamer who “retired?”

Today's [06 Dec 2002] thought is:As the soft yield of water cleaves obstinate stone,

So to yield with life solves the insoluable;

To yield I have learned is to come back again.--Lao Tsu

Water is a symbol for the feminine side of

ourselves. Though society usually associatesfeminine with weak and masculine with strong, the

reality is the female part of ourselves makes us very

powerful. Like the moon that controls the oceans,like water that wears away mountains, the yielding,

flowing, intuitive self that we all possess gives us

great strength.

In the past, we thought we had to do it all alone and

that to yield was to give up. Now, in partnershipwith others, we know we don’t have to do it all

alone. We don’t have to have all the answers, and

we don’t have to fight all our battles today. Instead

we have the option to relax and let go. We can letour Higher Power take over. As we do, the

blockages, the difficulties, the barriers, and the

battles disappear, dissolve, or become moremanageable.

I pray for constant contact with my water self, myintuitive feminine self, my inner knowingness--my

guide and my strength.

Today's [07 Dec 2002] thought is:“Art is not a thing; it’s a way.”



--Elbert Hubbard

We have all known people who lived with the flowof life. They didn’t try to control every outcome of

their circumstances. They refrained from making

decisions for others. They took each experience asan opportunity to collect new information and

adjust their perspective on the possibilities for

change and growth. They were good role models

even though we didn’t imitate them.

We can see now that they lived “artfully.” They

didn’t fight every decision; they didn’t resist everychange; they didn’t seek people to join their side

against the opposition. They saw no opposition, in

fact. They simply were. They simply lived.

Now we can simply be, too. Joining the flow is akin

to appreciating the balance in a wonderful painting.

Our eyes move from one side to another, taking inthe shadows along with the highlights. And we are

satisfied. Moving through the day can be just as

satisfying.

Every day creates its own rhythm, and I can join the

dance.


“Set your sights high, the higher the better. Expect

the most wonderful things to happen, not in thefuture but right now.”

--Eileen Caddy

Miracles are not ordinary. They are commonplace

events that happen at the perfect moment. Small

daily miracles are like flowers that bloom for us to pick and cherish. We can develop a talent for

recognizing miracles and be introduced to wondrous

gifts.

Even something as small as looking up into a winter

sky and seeing the stream of a falling star not only

leaves us awed by a moment in time, it is a miracleand we are part of it. Unexpectedly meeting a dear

old friend on a day when nothing went right feels

like sunshine after a storm. Other miracles might beopening the mailbox and getting a check on the day

when we needed it the most, or feeling stuck in a

problem and suddenly recognizing the solution, or

getting a hug from a child when we’ve gotten tooserious.

These are reminders that we are part of a larger



plan, and if we keep alert and expect miracles, we’ll

see them happen right before our eyes.

Today, let me see the world through my positive

glasses.


“Every child is an artist. The problem is how toremain an artist when you grow up.”

--Picasso

To be an artist is to be tuned in to and turned toward

the new, saying yes to life in all its diversity andrichness. Healthy children face life with openness

and creativity. They make things, play make-

believe, and create a world of beauty and delight.

We are still children if we dare to welcome the

creative force within us and relate it back to thespontaneity and newness of our childhood. Theremay be shadows and even darkness to overcome,

but if we are brave we can rediscover that childlike

energy and freshness.

Picasso went on creating for over ninety years. He

kept the child alive in himself for our delight. Even

if we do not have his talent, we can be inspired byhis example--to bring to life the creative child in us

again.

I am glad to begetting in touch with the creative

child who is still alive within me.

Today's [10 Dec 2002] thought is:“We have our brush and colors--paint Paradise and

in we go.”

--Nikos Kazantzakis

We find in our experiences and in our daily reveries just what we anticipate. If we greet the day wearinga smile, confident that we are needed and able to

make a contribution, we’ll discover that the day

holds great promise. What we need to understand isthat every day holds just as much promise as we’re

capable of expecting. We carry within ourselves the

image of the picture we’re creating.

Since the choice to find happiness rather than

sorrow and regret is our own, why does the latter

even attract us? For no other reason than we fail to believe that we’re deserving of happiness. We know



our own shortcomings; we’re aware of the details in

our lives for which we feel shame. We think only

the pure of heart deserve happiness. But we’rehuman. And this means mistakes are normal and

expected. With wisdom comes full understanding of

this fact. In the meantime, we can trust thathappiness is our birthright. All that’s requested is

our belief in it.

Today will offer me all that I truly desire.Happiness attracts itself.

Today's [11 Dec 2002] thought is:Empowerment

You can think. You can make good decisions. You

can make choices that are right for you.

Yes, we all make mistakes from time to time. Butwe are not mistakes.

We can make a new decision that takes new

information into account.

We can change our mind from time to time. That’s

our right too.

We don’t have to be intellectuals to make good

choices. In recovery, we have a gift and a goal

available to each of us. The gift is called wisdom.

Other people can think too. And that means we no

longer have to feel responsible for other people’sdecisions.

This also means we are responsible for our choices.

We can reach out to others for feedback. We can

ask for information. We can take opinions into

account. But it is our task to make our owndecisions. It is our pleasure and right to have our

own opinions.

We are each free to embrace and enjoy the treasure

of our own mind, intellect, and wisdom.

Today, I will treasure the gift of my mind. I will do

my own thinking, make my own choices, and value

my opinions. I will be open to what others think, but

I will take responsibility for myself. I will ask for and trust that I am being guided by Divine Wisdom.




How do we feel when someone says, "I love you"?Do we feel a rush of warmth throughout our bodies?

Do we walk a little taller? Do smiles come more

easily to our lips? Words of love are inspirational.They bring out the best in us; perhaps they even

encourage us to move in new directions, set new

goals, attempt the unfamiliar.

Loving and being loved soften the hard edges of

life. No stormy day is really bleak when we share it

with a loving friend. No formidable challenge is toooverwhelming when a loved one is nudging us

forward, certain of our capacity to succeed. And the

mirror reflects brighter eyes and fewer lines whenwe carry the knowledge that we're loved.

Let's share this knowledge with someone else now,

and spread the beauty around us.


Lost warriors have only to open their eyes to findthe right and good path.

--Chief Red Mountain

We all carry a fountain of joy inside. This joy is notsomething special given to only a few of us. An

abundance of joy, happiness, and peace is our right.

Our hearts were meant to be full of love andlaughter.

We have been promised that our lives will get better. Even the worst situations will be made right.

As we walk the path of recovery, our lives do get

better. When we think we have reached our limit of joy and happiness, something else happens. We get

happier! Life will not be without troubles, but joy

and gratitude will heal all wounds and shine through

all problems.

Today let me accept, without fear, the new joy I

feel.


Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.

--Faith Baldwin

Each stage of life brings its own gifts. Each stage

gives us a chance to examine where we are rightnow. When we were young, many of us insisted that



we could change the world. We even thought we

could change people. The next stage in life may

have given us the gift of seeing that we could onlychange ourselves.

Whatever stage we are in right now is the perfect place to reassess our priorities again. It has become

obvious to us by now which things we cannot

change, and we are busily accepting the truth.

Time itself alters us and our expectations. The time

we have lived has already created change, and the

passing of time will create more. The alterations wemake today can help us accept this stage in life as

being the best place to be.

Now is the time to alter my expectations of myself,

to tailor them to my current needs.

Today's [15 Dec 2002] thought is:Reflection for the Day

I can attain real dignity, importance and

individuality only by a dependence on a Power which is great and good, beyond anything I can

imagine or understand. I will try my utmost to use

this Power in making all my decisions. Even though

my human mind cannot forecast what the outcomewill be, I will try to be confident that whatever

comes will be for my ultimate good. Just for today,

will I try to live this day only, and not tackle mywhole life problem at once?

Today I PrayMay I make no decision, engineer no change in the

course of my lifestream, without calling upon my

Higher Power. May I have faith that God's plan for me is better than any scheme I could devise for

myself.

Today I Will Remember God is the architect. I am the builder.

Today's [16 Dec 2002] thought is: Never doubt that a small group of committed

people can change the world.

--Margaret Mead

We are on a path of change. None of us has become

perfect, but we have made significant progress. We

are less the victims of old obsessions andcompulsions. We're no longer weighed down by



such low self-esteem. We have begun connecting to

ourselves and our Higher Power. We've made

worthy commitments. We're learning to trustourselves.

Today, we are freer to rock the boat. We do nothave to accept the status quo, either in our own lives

or in the community and world around us. We can

begin to engage in the revolutionary act of

becoming fully ourselves, living our values,accepting our own power to help in the creation of

understanding, love, peace, light, and brotherhood

and sisterhood in the world. We can cooperate withothers who share our ideals.

There is hope for the world as long as we all know that we're capable of continuing to grow

and change.

Today, I help to create positive change in myself and in my world.


Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

--Carl Jung

We are all a little wacky. When we enter a crowded

room and hear someone giggling, maybe we think

it's at our expense. If we hear of a friend's illness, perhaps we check our own symptoms. If someone

fails to return a phone call, we may think he or she

is mad at us. Maybe we lose the thread of aconversation wondering what the other person

thinks of us. Perhaps we are a little unbalanced. But

who isn't?

In our program, acceptance comes from just being

ourselves, warts and all. We have learned that God

accepts us and loves us just the way we are.

Today, God is my key to sanity.



I have faith. That thing that makes the world seem

right. That thing that makes sense at last. Thatawareness of the Divine Principle in the universe

which holds it all together and gives it unity and

purpose and goodness and meaning. Life is nolonger ashes in my mouth or bitter to the taste. It is



all one glorious whole, because God is holding it

together. Faith--that leap into the unknown, the

venture into what lies beyond our ken, that which brings untold rewards of peace and serenity. Have I

faith?


Keep yourself like an empty vessel for God to fill.

Keep pouring yourself out to help others so that

God can keep filling you up with His spirit. Themore you give, the more you will have for yourself.

God will see that you are kept filled as long as you

are giving to others. But if you selfishly try to keepall for yourself, you are soon blocked off from God,

your source of supply, and you will become

stagnant. To be clear, a lake must have an inflowand an outflow.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may keep pouring out what I receive. I pray that I may keep the stream clear and flowing.

Today's [19 Dec 2002] thought is:Thought for the Day

If you can take troubles as they come, if you can

maintain your calm and composure amid pressing

duties, you have discovered a priceless secret of daily living. Then even if you must go through life

weighed down by some inescapable misfortune, you

have succeeded where most people have failed.Have I achieved poise and peace of mind in my

daily routine?


Take a blessing with you wherever you go. As you

have been blessed, so bless others. Such stores of blessings are awaiting you in the months and years

that lie ahead. Pass on your blessings. Shed a little

blessing in the heart of one person, who is cheered

to pass it on to another. So God's vitalizing, joy-giving message travels on.

Prayer for the DayI pray that I may pass on my blessings. I pray that

they may flow into the lives of others.

Today's [20 Dec 2002] thought is:Attitude is everything!

Today will be what we make it. Regardless of theweather, the kinds of work to be done, the



personalities crossing our paths, we'll feel joy and

peace if that is our choice.

Agonizing over circumstances that aren't to our

liking or dwelling on our failure to control other

people, whether friends or foes, has robbed us of thehappiness that is always ours to experience.

Depression, anger, fear, and frustration shadowed

our steps because we didn't take control of the only

thing that's ever been in our control absolutely--attitude.

It's so easy to blame others for every wrinkle in our lives. But as we grow accustomed to the idea of

taking full responsibility for how we think and feel,

we'll be empowered. No longer will our sense of self feel diminished. And, as Abraham Lincoln is

credited with saying, we will be just as happy as we

make up our minds to be.

Nobody can mess with my attitude but me!

Today's [21 Dec 2002] thought is:Who is making our decisions?

Nothing external to us has any meaning except what

we bring to it. Therefore, if a problem arises, wehave to look solely at ourselves. The advantage is

we need look only to ourselves if we want to change

our lives. Playing the waiting game, as many of ushave done--waiting for people to change, waiting

for circumstances to change, waiting for

expectations to change--need not detain us anylonger. If we want anything to be different, let's get

moving!

Making changes is not complicated, unless it's

another person we want to change. That's an

impossibility. However, we will discover how

changed they will seem when we make a change inourselves. Whatever we see in others depends on

how we look at them, and which inner eye we look

through. This principle is set.

Who we put in charge of how we see today will

determine everything: the situations that arise, theactions we take, and the decisions we make. It's a

monumental choice.

I will be thoughtful about my choices today. If Iwant a good day, I'll rely on the Holy Spirit.




When action grows unprofitable, gather information; when information grows unprofitable,

sleep.

--Ursula K. LeGuin

Sometimes we need to turn away from what's

troubling us. Turn it over, says the Third Step.

Hanging onto a situation for which no solution isimmediately apparent, only exaggerates the

situation. It is often said the solution to any problem

lies within it. However, turning the problem over and over in our minds keeps our attention on the

outer appearance, not the inner solution.

Rest, meditation, quiet attention to other matters,

other persons, opens the way for God to reveal the

solution. Every problem can be resolved. And no

answer is ever withheld for long. We need to beopen to it, though. We need to step away from our

ego, outside of the problem and then listen fully to

the words of friends, to the words that rise from our own hearts. Too much thinking, incessant

analyzing, will keep any problem a problem.

I will rest from my thoughts. I will give my

attention wholly to the present. Therein will come

the solution, and when least expected.


Sharing our experiences with other people gives

them hope.

Most of us used to feel desperate, overwhelmed

with fear, about our lives or someone else's life.Our worry was incessant, and we doubted we'd ever

be free of it. But the darkness began to recede when

people in the program shared how they had handled

a similar situation. Hearing the traumatic times aresurvivable gives us the strength to continue our

journey. From other voices we hear hope, and we

realize that we'll be okay.

Giving away what we have learned continues the

miracle of hope. In this way we are the keepers of our brothers and sisters. Making the journey

smoother for someone else lightens our own

struggle every day.

Helping someone by sharing a part of my life today

will help me remember the lessons I have learned.



Today's [24 Dec 2002] thought is:He is Father. Even more, God is Mother, who does

not want to harm us.

--Pope John Paul I

God is many things to different people. Some call

God "Father," others "Mother," still others "Higher

Power," "Inner Light," "Deeper Self," and"Supreme Being."

It doesn't matter what name we use. No one name isever fully adequate, and each of us has our own

private way of trying to understand that which we

can't ever understand fully. We give God nameswhich attempt to express what God means to us

personally, what God does for us as individuals, and

how we see ourselves in relation to God.

Could it also be true that other people can't be

labeled and put into one box? Doing so limits them

to one particular way of being understood, and itlimits the ways we can get to know them. If we are

all made in God's image, then we all deserve the

freedom to be seen differently by different people.

How does God look to me today?

Today's [25 Dec 2002] thought is:The Holidays

Sometimes, the holidays are filled with the joy weassociate with that time of year. The season flows.

Magic is in the air.

Sometimes, the holidays can be difficult and lonely.

Here are some ideas I've learned through personal

experience, and practice, to help us get throughdifficult holidays:

Deal with feelings, but try not to dwell unduly onthem. Put the holidays in perspective: A holiday is

one day out of 365. We can get through any 24-hour

period.

Get through the day, but be aware that there may be

a post-holiday backlash. Sometimes, if we use our

survival behaviors to get through the day, thefeelings will catch up to us the next day. Deal with

them too. Get back on track as quickly as possible.



Find and cherish the love that's available, even if

it's not exactly what we want. Is there someone we

can give love to and receive love from? Recoveringfriends? Is there a family who would enjoy sharing

the holiday with us? Don't be a martyr; go. There

may be those who would appreciate our offer toshare our day with them.

We are not in the minority if we find ourselves

experiencing a less-than-ideal holiday. How easy, but untrue, to tell ourselves the rest of the world is

experiencing the perfect holiday, and we're alone in

conflict.

We can create our own holiday agenda. Buy

yourself a present. Find someone to whom you cangive. Unleash your loving, nurturing self and give in

to the holiday spirit.

Maybe past holidays haven't been terrific. Maybethis year wasn't terrific. But next year can be better,

and the next a little better. Work toward a better

life--one that meets your needs. Before long, you'llhave it.

God, help me enjoy and cherish this holiday. If mysituation is less than ideal, help me take what's

good and let go of the rest.

Today's [26 Dec 2002] thought is:When you cease to make a contribution, you begin

to die.

--Eleanor Roosevelt

We need to take note, today, of all the opportunities

we have to offer a helping hand to another person.We can notice too the many times a friend, or even

a stranger, reaches out to us in a helpful way. The

opportunities to contribute to life's flow are

unending.

Our own vibrancy comes from involvement with

others, from contributing our talents, our hearts, toone another's daily travels. The program helps us to

know that God lives in us, among us. When we

close ourselves off from our friends, our fellowtravelers, we block God's path to us and through us.

To live means sharing one another's space, dreams,

sorrows; contributing our ears to hear, our eyes tosee, our arms to hold, our hearts to love. When we

close ourselves off from each other, we have

destroyed the vital contribution we each need to



make and to receive in order to nurture life.

We each need only what the other can give. Each person we meet today needs our special

contribution.

What a wonderful collection of invitations awaits

me today!

Today's [27 Dec 2002] thought is:Without prayer, I should have been a lunatic long

ago.

--Mahatma Gandhi

How can we make our prayers more satisfying and

fulfilling? One of the best ways is to see and hear

ourselves as we pray, as if we were getting a bird's-eye view of what we look like and how we sound

when we pray.

Seeing from above in this objective way gives a

good overview of the strength and the meaning of

our prayers. Are we whining and fidgeting as we pray? Maybe we aren't really praying but instead

are asking to get our way. Do we sound angry, with

fists clenched? Maybe we need to work on letting

go first before we pray.

This is how our Higher Power sees and hears us.

Our Higher Power knows which prayers are serious,meaningful conversations and which are filled with

self-pity, resentment, and anger. Tonight we can

hear ourselves pray and learn whether we are truly praying or merely taking time for self-centered feelings.

Before I pray tonight, let me run through the things I want to say. Help me keepself-centered feelings at a minimum and true sharing and communication at a

maximum.

Today's [28 Dec 2002] thought is:How magnificently you tossed away this God who

plagues and helps man so much! But you did not

and could not toss out of your heart that part of youfrom which the God notion had come.

--Richard Wright

Each of us accommodates "the God notion" in our own way, but we all have it. Although we may not

all worship a great Mother or Father figure, our

spiritual dimension makes us all kin.



To deny our spiritual selves will bring us unrest; our

life's journey is always toward serenity, and

serenity means finding peace within, answeringthose searching questions of the spirit. Some of us

will seek answers in many forms, in different

languages, but our quest is as real and as simple if we stay at home and explore within ourselves.

When we're honest with ourselves, we find this

radiant truth: an authentic search for spiritualwholeness can be successful.

Let me honor "the God notion" and never use itagainst myself or any fellow being.


The proper function of man is to live, not to exist.I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

--Jack London

We are on a remarkable journey that holds

wonderful possibilities. Sometimes people who

have undergone a crisis think they have arrived atthe end of the journey. The excitement of living

decreases each day.

Surrounding ourselves with loving, caring peoplegives us the greatest chance of coming out of the

depression caused by our problems. Also, treating

ourselves gently can improve our outlook. When weshow loving care for others and ourselves, we will

once again be moving back into the mainstream of

life. We will be filled once again with theexcitement and joy of the journey that lies ahead.

I owe myself the excitement of each day to come.Today, I will savor my life.

Today's [30 Dec 2002] thought is:Telling the truth is a pretty hard thing.--Thomas Wolfe

Lying can be like sailing in choppy waters. Themore we lie, the higher the waves get, and the

harder the sailing. When we lie, we feel we've

failed ourselves and others. We have to work hard

to cover up our lies, and the fear of someone findingout is always with us.

If we ask God for courage to tell the truth, we can be like the sailboat on a clear and calm day. We can



enjoy the small waves and the light warm breeze

we've given ourselves. Honesty is a good habit, and

is easy. With a little faith in our own worth, we canchoose the calm waters of honesty and apply our

creativity to new, growth-oriented activities instead

of covering up old mistakes.

How can I smooth my water right now?

Today's [31 Dec 2002] thought is:In the process of growing to spiritual maturity, we

all go through many adolescent stages.

--Miki L. Bowen

Progress, not perfection, is our goal in this recovery

program. And many days we'll be haunted by the

feeling that we've regressed. We will display old behavior. We will feel unable to change, to go on,

to make gains once again. But these periods will pass, and soon progress will be evident again.

We must be wary of our need for perfection. It's

this need that makes normal progress seem not goodenough. And yet, that's all we're capable of--and all

we'll ever need to be capable of. The program, its

Steps and the promises offered, provide the tools we

have lacked, yet need to use in order to acceptourselves wholly and imperfectly.

Daily attention to our spiritual side will foster thespiritual and emotional health we long for. Prayer

and meditation, combined with honest inventory-

taking, can show us the personal progress needed,the personal progress made. However, we will falter

on occasion. We will neglect our program some

days. But it won't ever be beyond our reach. Andeach day is a new beginning.

Today is before me, and I can make progress. I will

begin with a quiet prayer and a moment of meditation.



JANUARY

Today's [1 Jan 2003]thought is:Reflection for the Day

In the old days, I saw everything in terms of forever. Endless hours

were spent rehashing old mistakes. I tried to take comfort in the forlornhope that tomorrow "would be different." As a result, I lived a fantasy

life in which happiness was all but nonexistent. No wonder I rarely

smiled and hardly ever laughed aloud. Do I still think in terms of

"forever?"

Today I Pray

May I set my goals for the New Year not at the yearlong mark, but oneday at a time. My traditional New Year's resolutions have been so

grandly stated and so soon broken. Let me not weaken my resolve by

stretching it to cover "forever" -- or even one long year. May I reapplyit firmly each new day. May I learn not to stamp my past mistakes with

that indelible word, "forever." Instead, may each single day in each

New Year be freshened by my new-found hope.

Today I Will Remember Happy New Day.

Today's [2 Jan 2003] thought is:

Every human being brings something very special to the world.

When our lives were wracked by our close association with people

suffering from the disease of chemical dependency, we lost a sense of

who we really were. Seeing ourselves through the behavior of others

cancelled out our positive qualities, and our self-esteem plummeted.



The program, particularly the Steps, helps us regain the knowledge of

who we are. And through that process we discover the qualities wehave that we can share with others. The willingness to "take inventory"

of our behavior, our thoughts, and our values is the place to begin.

Accepting that every individual is endowed with a special talent that is

unique and necessary to the whole of humanity helps each of us,

especially on the days we'd rather hide under the covers. We do have

something to give everyone we meet today. How we thought of ourselves in the past as the result of the alcoholism around us can't

block us any longer. We are free and our talents are needed.

Every situation I meet today will be affected by my presence. I have

something to give that only I can give.

Today's [3 Jan 2003] thought is:Even though time be real, to realize the unimportance of time is the gate of

wisdom.-- Bertrand Russell

Most of us measure the realities of life by time. Without our even being

aware of it, the context of time directs, defines, channels, and limitsmost of our thought patterns. Concepts like past, present, and future

divide our lives as neatly as three acts divide a play: One begins where

the other ends, until the play is finished. That is the outer world.

But clock ticks and calendar pages don't control the action in the inner

world. As we develop the inner awareness that develops self-esteem,

we get in touch with a different reality. In the kingdom of our ownminds and hearts we discover a self that is neither old nor young,

neither beginning nor ending, but just being. In this world there is no

such thing as before or after, on time or late. There is only the peaceand serenity of now -- the now that was, is, and will be.

The healthiest people have dual citizenship: They live in both worlds.When they are saddened that some prized and precious time is passing

by, they are also comforted by knowing that the richness of human

experience is timeless. All that was good lives on in the inner world -- not

lost, not wasted, not past. In the soul there is only the eternal present.

Soul making has nothing to do with time as the world measures it.


Should you shield the valleys from the windstorms, you would never

see the beauty of their canyons.-- Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Time teaches us about the twofold connection of suffering and wisdom.For every loss, we've gained something new. We are learning that our



pain makes us wise over time, but while we are in it’s midst we often

feel alone and entrapped. We sometimes can make no sense out of our

suffering -- neither its depth nor its seeming unfairness -- and we mayeven turn our backs on our Higher Power. We've only survived the

darkness by stumbling through it each day. But in recovery we have

gradually allowed ourselves to accept comfort from others, and their words help us in times of desolation.

We are learning that some pains can't be healed, but instead must be

endured until they run their course. Sometimes the only hope we haveis the deep knowledge that our Higher Power will give us no more than

we can handle today. With His help and comfort, we can endure and

find peace.

Today let me trust that -- even though it may feel painful -- my recovery

has begun.

Today's [5 Jan 2003] thought is:I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.-- Charles Schulz

Living one day at a time is a big project. Most of us have just enoughfaith, patience, and courage to last 24 hours. We all seem to be in need

of a daily refueling.

Living in today helps keep our lives balanced and simple. At first, wemay need to practice staying in the present. We may find that we need

to keep bringing ourselves back to today from yesterday or tomorrow.

There is nothing that will happen today that we can't, with God's help,

manage.

Today let me keep my feet firmly planted in the bedrock of the present,

my only reality.

Today's [6 Jan 2003] thought is:If you shut your door to all errors, truth will be shut out.

-- Rabindranath Tagore

Since so much of the world remains mysterious, how can we rule out

new possibilities? It's very human to want to cling to the little bits of

truth we're sure of; but we mustn't use those bits of knowledge to keepus from the possibility of further discoveries.

True wisdom includes the humility to acknowledge what we don't

know. The careful scientist and the experienced physician are humble before the immensity of what they don't know.

New experiences, new relations and connections can reveal more andmore, if we are open to them. Once we decide we know something --



and close our minds to the possibility that we don't -- we're keeping

ourselves willfully ignorant. Filtering out life's richness robs us of our

birthright -- experience. Nothing is true that can't stand to be testedagainst life's flow.

Even welcome visitors can only enter through a door I've opened.

Today's [7 Jan 2003] thought is:. . openly expressing our affectionate feelings . . .

Men and women often have different needs and find different meaning

in their sexual experiences. One partner might emphasize the emotional

connection over the physical connection; the other partner mightemphasize the physical connection over the emotional connection. How

do we deal with the difference? We start by accepting that we both

want connection. We recognize how our partner wants connection and

we try to be understanding. We don't have to give up what we need for ourselves. But if we insist that our partner change to meet our needs,

we will most surely become unhappy, disappointed, or lonely.

Connection is what we both want. How can we make it happen? Simply

and openly expressing our affectionate feelings at any time of the day

builds our union. We need to touch base with each other often to affirmour relationship. When we do, our sexual and emotional

communication grows as an important part of one whole, intimate, life-

giving experience.

Tell your partner how you feel about your sexual and emotional

contact.


What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other.

-- George Eliot

Always seeing our struggles as the fault of others is a good indication

that we need an attitude adjustment. There is no better place to get one

than in this program of recovery, The women around us and the Stepsthat guide us can help us discover the joy of cultivating a new attitude.

Trying to determine the grand purpose of our lives can beoverwhelming and anxiety-provoking. As alcoholics, we gravitate

toward complicating the simple. That's why one of our slogans is

"Keep it simple." We can apply this to all our relationships. Askingourselves what we can do to help someone else, at every opportunity,

defines our purpose in life quite clearly. Moment by moment, we'll

never doubt what to do next.

My purpose is to help someone else today. If I think someone is

causing me a problem, perhaps I should address my attitude.



Today's [9 Jan. 2003] thought is:When you can't stand criticism you learn to be a perfectionist.

--Anonymous

It's human to make mistakes and to feel incomplete. Perhaps if we were

all smooth plastic printouts we could expect perfection of ourselves.

Each man is actually a process. We are not things, but events--happenings--and the events are still unfolding.

These are our creativespiritual adventures.

We have somehow learned that openness to criticism is dangerous.Perhaps we thought someone would not like us if we were wrong, or

that we would get hurt or belittled. When we live with a relationship to

our Higher Power, we can stand up for ourselves. A man has a right tomake some mistakes! We grow more if we allow ourselves the leeway

of simply being in process.

I will not ask to have the power of perfection. I will only ask that I not be alone in the process of living my life.

Today's [10 Jan. 2003] thought is:"Ambition, if it [is] to be savored, let alone achieved, [has] to be rooted

in possibility."

Many of us grew up with the message that it is not all right to beovertly ambitious. Many of us have often strived unconsciously, setting

goals and reaching for that next rung, yet at the same time never

thinking we were ambitious. I recall my first rock-climbing trip, duringwhich I stood very frightened at the edge of a cliff over the water. The

leaders had trained us in rock craft skills; I was physically secure. Yet,

suddenly I felt tears streaming down my face. After asking myself whatmy fears were about (was it height, trust, falling?), I sputtered, "I'm

afraid I won't achieve." I was dumbfounded at this discovery. While

our culture gives men permission to be ambitious, it trains women todeny their ambitions. Perhaps this lies in Merriam-Webster's Collegiate

Dictionary's definition of ambition: "an ardent desire for rank, fame, or

power." Yet, Webster's also defines ambition as a "desire to achieve a

particular end." I think the latter is the definition that can motivate bothmen and women.

Just for today, I shall stay focused on the big picture of where I amgoing, knowing I can climb toward my goal, a step at a time.

Today's [11 Jan. 2003] thought is:

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol. . .-- From Step One of Alcoholics Anonymous

In Step One, we accept our powerlessness over alcohol and other drugs.But we are powerless over many parts of life. We are powerless over



other people. We are powerless over what our Higher Power has

planned for us.

Before recovery, we only believed in control. We tried to control

everything. We fought against a basic truth, the truth that we are

powerless over much of life.

When we accept this truth, we begin to see what power we do have. We

have the power to make choices. When we're lonely, we have the

power to reach out to others. We have power over how we live our ownlives.

Prayer for the DayHigher Power, help me to know that it's You who is running my life.

Help me to know that power comes from accepting I am powerless.

Action for the Day

I am powerless over much of life. Today I'll look to see how this is

true. I'll look to see what I really have control over and what I don't.


It is as important to relax our minds as it is to concentrate them.

-- Charles B. Newcomb

After a day of activity, our bodies naturally need to slow down. We

yawn, our muscles stiffen, our eyes want to close. Yet our minds can be

racing at top speed. How do we learn to slow down our thoughts andrelax? We first need to realize we don't have to do it all ourselves. We

can ask for help from a book, a relaxation tape, a class or workshop, a

movie, or music. And we can learn how to unwind from others.

For most of our lives, we learned how to be tense. Now we need to

learn how to relax. Just as we didn't learn our tension in one night, wealso won't learn relaxation in one night. But we can begin tonight to

find some methods that will work for us. We can try, a little bit at a

time, to become familiar with how it feels to have a more relaxed mind.Tonight can be a beginning.

Am I willing to unlearn my tensions? What resources can I use tonight

to help me relax my mind?


Reflection for the DayBefore I came to The Program, I hadn't the faintest idea of what it was

to "Live In The Now." I often became obsessed with the things that

happened yesterday, last week, or even five years ago. Worse yet, many

of my waking hours were spent clearing away the "wreckage of thefuture." "To me," Walt Whitman once wrote, "every hour of the day

and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle." Can I truly believe that in

my heart?



Today I Pray

Let me carry only the weight of 24 hours at one time, without the extra

bulk of yesterday's regrets or tomorrow's anxieties. Let me breathe the blessings of each new day for itself, by itself, and keep my human

burdens contained in daily perspective. May I learn the balance of soul

that comes through keeping close to God.


Don't borrow from tomorrow.


If we embody the principles taught in the Twelve Steps, our lives will

get better.

Whether our first Twelve-Step meeting was last week, last year, or five

years ago, we all have one thing in common: We have discovered hope

and our lives are getting better. The good feelings seem almostcontagious. Perhaps they are. We have learned from other people's

examples, and all of us have found life's pitfalls easier to navigate sincewe began relying on the slogans, the Steps, and the principles of the program.

Many of us came into this program quite certain that it wouldn't helpus. Our troubles were far too serious. And some of us resisted the help

that was immediately offered. It couldn't be that easy. Stewing a bit

longer and hanging on to the pain were choices we made.

Now we are seeing newcomers who are like we were. It makes us

joyful to know just how much we all have to look forward to.

How grateful I am that I gave up my resistance. My life will be as

joyful as I make it today.

Today's [15 Jan. 2003] thought is:Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

- "The Desiderata"

Self-esteem is not static. Within boundaries, depending on the ebb and

flow of the tide of our lives, our sense of well being naturallyfluctuates. Many of our low points, however, have not so much to dowith a particular problem as they do with the state of mind we bring to

that problem.

We may not always have control over certain fears. If we were once

badly burned, for example, we may always have a residual overreaction

to fire - and there are, of course, many kinds of fire. But we do have

control over the fatigue and loneliness that set us up for fear attacks. Of all the efforts we may make to bolster self-esteem, avoiding such

fatigue and loneliness may be the most important.

Is it always necessary to work as hard as we do? Can we never take a



break or a little nap? When was the last time we took a vacation? And

how often do we set aside time for a good long conversation with a

friend? Sometimes "alone" is not a healthy place to be. Especially if we're also tired. Those are times when our fears find us most

vulnerable.

I will avoid getting too tired to feel good about myself.

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