GOD SPEAKS YOUR L VE LANGUAGE

It is an universal need Every person of any age in every culture

needs it Every person needs food and water for their

physical well being Every person needs this thing for their

emotional well being

UNIVERSAL NEED NUMBER ONE

THAT IS LOVE!The Number One Need of every human

being is TO BE LOVED.

LOVE!There are different ways to express love

and to receive love.

THE L VE LANGUAGES

Dr. Gary Chapman, Christian counselor and author of The Five Love Languages, writes about the importance of being able to express love to people around you, such as your spouse, children, or friends in a way that they can understand and feel loved.

He calls this type of communicating love using the five love languages.

This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, how great the dinner tasted, or how nice your friend was to you.

These words will also build your mate's self image and confidence or your friend’s.

1. Words of Affirmation

Mark Twain once said:

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

Words of Affirmation

Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.” 

Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that shirt,” “You must be the best baker in the world! I

love your oatmeal cookies,” “You are such a sweet person,” “Thanks for always being there for me,” Words of affirmation are sometimes all a

person needs to hear to feel loved.

Words of Affirmation

Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement. 

Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic, sending a card, making a phone call, praying.

If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

Words of Affirmation

Some spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. If this is your partner's love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one another some undivided attention.

2. Quality Time

Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on somebody.

A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Quality Time

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.

A good mate and a good friend will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their friend they are truly listening. Many people don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

Be careful with the cell phone when having interaction with people. The way you deal with it can send an opposite signal.

Quality Time

An important aspect of quality conversation is self-revelation. In order for you to communicate with your mate or friend, you must also be in tune with your inner emotions.

It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with somebody else.

Quality Time

Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many people feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do.

Spending time together will bring a couple closer, will bring people together, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can recollect about in the future. Whether it’s sitting on the couch and having a brief conversation or playing together, quality time is a love language that is shared by many.

Setting aside focused time with your mate will ensure a happy marriage and a good relationship.

Quality Time

It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don't have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love.

Spouses who forget a birthday or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.

The same may happen with friends and relatives, especially if “receiving gifts” is their first love language. That will certainly happen with children. This is considered to be a more childlike type of love language.

3. Gifts

Receiving GiftsSome people respond well to visual symbols of love. If you speak this love language, you are more likely to treasure any gift as an expression of love and devotion.

People who speak this love language often feel that a lack of gifts represents a lack of love from their mate or friends.

This love language seems to be the easiest to learn.

Gifts

If you want to become an effective gift giver, you may have to learn to change your attitude about money. If you are naturally a spender, you will have no trouble buying gifts for your mate or friend.

However, a person who is used to investing and saving their money may have a tough time adjusting to the concept of spending money as an expression of love. If that is you, please understand that you are investing the money not in gifts, but in deepening your relationship with your mate or friend.

Gifts

The gift of self is an important symbol of love. Sometimes all your mate or friend desires is for someone to be there for them, going through the same trials and experiencing the same things. Your body can become a very powerful physical symbol of love.

These gifts need not to come every day, or even every week. They don’t even need to cost a lot of money. Free, frequent, expensive, or rare, if your mate or friend relates to the language of receiving gifts, any visible sign of your love will leave them feeling happy and secure in your relationship.

Gifts

Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse or friend will require time and creativity.

These acts of service like vacuuming, running some errands, baby sitting, giving a ride, groceries shopping for somebody, etc., need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love.

4. Acts of Service

Sometimes simple chores around the house and the House of God, can be an undeniable expression of love.

Even simple things like laundry, taking out the trash, cleaning up, fixing the place, require some form of planning, time, effort, and energy.

Acts of Service

Very soon in a marriage both spouses will have to learn the Acts of Service Language. It comes with the marriage package. However, it is very important to understand what acts of service your mate most appreciates. Even though couples are helping each other around the house, couples will still fight because there are unknowingly communicating with each other in two different dialects.

Acts of Service

For example, a wife may spend her day washing the cars and walking the dog, but if her husband feels that laundry and dishes are a superior necessity, he may feel unloved, despite the fact that his wife did many other chores throughout the day. It is important to learn your mate’s dialect and work hard to understand what acts of service will show your love.

The same rule applies to friends and other types of relationships.

Acts of Service

It is important to do these acts of service out of love and not obligation. Anybody can see when a person does chores and helps out around the house out of guilt or fear. In that case he or she will inevitably not be speaking a language of love, but a language of resentment.

It’s important to perform these acts out of the kindness of your heart.

Acts of Service

Demonstrating the acts of service can mean stepping out of the stereotypes.

Acts of service require both people to humble themselves into doing some chores and services that aren’t usually expected from their gender. However, these little sacrifices will mean the world to your mate or friend, and will ensure a happy and lasting relationship.

Acts of Service

Sometimes just stroking somebody’s back, holding hands, giving a hug, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need.

5. Physical Touch

In a marriage relationship, many mates feel the most loved when they receive physical contact from their partner. For a mate who speaks this love language loudly, physical touch can make or break the relationship.

Physical Touch- for married couples

It is important to learn how your mate speaks the physical touch language. Some touches are irritating and uncomfortable for your mate. They can be big acts, such as back massages or little acts such as touches on the cheek or a hand on the shoulder.

It’s important to learn how your mate responds to touch. That is how you will make the most of this love language.

Physical Touch- for married couples

All marriages will experience crisis. In these cases, physical touch is very important. In a crisis situation, a hug can communicate an immense amount of love for that person.

A person whose primary love language is physical touch would much rather have you hold them and be silent than offer any advice.

Physical Touch- for married couples

It is important to remember that this love language is different for everyone. What type of touch makes you feel secure is not necessarily what will make your partner happy. It is important to learn each other’s dialects.

Physical Touch- for married couples

Honor, admiration, appreciation, worth, Recognition of the value and the

significance of others Giving value and importance to whom the

person is and to what he or she represents Hold in the highest regard and express it

and show it

6. Respect

How do you show respect to someone? You appreciate the person, her time, her work, her

attitudes, You give proper attention when you are around

the person You listen in depth her words and what she means You express her significance in your life You obey if they are your parents, husband, a

Governmental authority, a boss, a spiritual authority

Express and show consideration for her feelings, ideas, and needs

Respect

Respect is the number 1 relationship and marriage keeper

Love is absolutely necessary for you to get married.

Respect is absolutely fundamental for you to keep married.

Respect

Your own love language may very well been expressed through your mouth.

“The mouth speaks from what is in the heart.”

Since you may be speaking what you need, you can discover your own love language by asking yourself these questions:

Determining Your Own Love Language

How do I express love to others?

Determining Your Own Love Language

What do I complain about the most?

Determining Your Own Love Language

What do I request most often?

Determining Your Own Love Language

How do I feel I want to be loved?

Determining Your Own Love Language

What kinds of expressions of love I enjoy receiving?

Determining Your Own Love Language

LOVE IS NOT AN “ABOUT ME” FEELING

IT IS AN “ABOUT OTHERS” PASSION

Speaking in someone else’s love language probably won't be natural for you.

Dr. Chapman says, "We're not talking comfort. We're talking love. Love is something we do for someone else.

"We're not talking comfort. We're talking love.”

This ASSESSMENT is NOT 4 You!

This ASSESSMENT is 4 someone else!

HOW to recognize real LOVE?

Where Our Love Comes From

“We love because Jesus loved us first.”

John, the Apostle1 John 4:19

HOW to recognize real LOVE?

DECISION

“It’s better giving than receiving.”

Jesus Christ

“This is how we know what love is:

Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives

for our brothers.”1 John 3:16

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions

and in truth.1 John 3:18

HOW to show LOVE:

Jesus replied, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal,

do not give false testimony, 19honor your father and mother,' and 'love

your neighbor as yourself.'“Mat. 19:18,19