NAMI Tri-County Illinois is a legal entity separate and distinct from NAMI, Inc.

Fi n d H e l p . F i n d H o p e

P.O. Box 10167 Peoria, IL 61612 Phone information line 309 693-0541 www.namitri-countyillinois.org Facebook: Nami Tri-County IL

Announcements Newsletter topic: Benefits of Kindness

No December Education Meeting

January 6, 2022 Education Meeting, James Bryson, Stop Tripping Over Your Own Feet

February 3, 2022 Education Meeting: TBA

Thank you to Karen Rose and Beth Law-rence for assisting with this newsletter

Even if you receive the print version of the Family Forum, you will benefit from going online (namitri-countyillinois.org) and read-ing some or all the links to Internet sites. The pictures are also sharper.

The NAMI Tri-County Illinois Family Forum is a quarterly publication. With common use of the Internet, members and friends can find meeting and activity information on our web site as well as on Facebook. We also send out regular email blasts regarding our activities. Contact information:

**Web: namitri-countyillinois.org (click on Contact us at this site to be added to the email blast) **Facebook: Nami Tri-County IL

NAMI Dues Structure:Household $60 (one vote) Individual $40 Open Door $ 5

Joining NAMI includes National, State, and Local organizations and all the publications and resources available from each.

Use Random Acts of Kindness to Improve Your Holidays

During the holidays we’re more likely to reach out to one another in service and love.

hearts might not swell with good will as we try to figure out just how to get through the season, let alone how to make a difference as we do.

Although it’s always fun to hear magnificent stories of generosity during the holidays, that kind of service isn’t always possible or needed. You don’t need to buy Christmas gifts for an entire family, leave a hundred-dollar tip for your waitress, or invite the entire neighborhood over for a holiday party. But there are small things you can do to get yourself in the holiday spirit and improve the holidays for you and those around you. These small acts of kindness are easy to do—and they’ll brighten the lives of everyone around you in small ways and help get you in the holiday spirit.

Ideas for random acts of holiday kindness Compliment someone you don’t know.

Shovel snow for a neighbor before they wake up.

Donate food to the food pantry.

Help a busy mother in the grocery store (or anywhere else!).

Let someone move ahead of you in line.

Bake cookies for someone. Bonus: Give them to someone who has to work on Christmas.

Send a letter or card to a military member who’s deployed.

Send a card (or visit) someone who’s sick or in a rest home.

Donate pet supplies to your local pet shelter.

Offer to take someone’s shopping cart back inside or to the cart drop-off.

Smile at someone you don’t know.

Express appreciation to a co-worker or friend.

Offer to help a neighbor care for their pets or home when they leave town.

Give blood.

Offer to watch your friend’s kids so she can do some holiday shopping.

Help an elderly neighbor bring in their groceries from the car.

Donate books or toys you no longer need.

Take your family caroling.

Help your neighbor put up their Christmas lights.

Pick up litter in your local park.

Leave a gift or letter of appreciation for your mailman.

Volunteer to help a busy friend wrap their Christmas gifts.

Buy lunch for a homeless person.

Volunteer to read holiday stories at your local library or nursing home.

Remember, little things can make a differ-ence in someone else’s life this holiday sea-son—and by doing small acts of kindness, you can get yourself in the holiday spirit without maxing out your time, money, or energy

December 2021—February 2022 Page 2

Educational Opportunities

Though it has not yet been scheduled, we hope to

offer a Family to Family Class in the spring

NAMI Family to Family Class Please call to register for the next class

NEW—8-week format

Parents, spouses, friends, or adult children of people with mental illnesses are invited to participate in the next 8-week class. There is no charge for this NAMI signa-ture program. Participants will learn valuable infor-mation to help them understand and support an ill rela-tive while maintaining their own well-being. Please call 309-360-6972 or 309 693-0541 for information or to register for this upcoming class.

NAMI Peer to Peer Class This class is currently not offered in our area.

NAMI Basics Education Program Please call to register for the next class

This six-session course is for parents and caregivers of chil-dren and adolescents with mental illness. Basics is taught by parents who have lived similar experiences with their own kids and have received training to teach the course. The class co-vers the biology of mental illness, treatment, school interven-tions, and the latest research as well as the trauma of brain disorders for the child and the family. In addition, it covers preparation for crisis situations and the importance of caring for yourself. If you are interested in this class, please call 309 251-5830 or 309 693-0541. The class is free of charge, but registration is required.

Also, check out www.NAMI.org "Basics" video on You Tube for further description of the course.

~~NAMI Basics is now also available online through NAMI Basics OnDemand~~

The OnDemand program is also guided by parents and family members with lived experience but is self-paced and available 24/7. OnDemand offers the flexibility of participating in the course on your schedule. Both formats provide identical infor-mation, strategies and the opportunity to connect with other parents and caregivers.

Inside this issue Random Acts of Kindness ................................... 1

Announcements ................................................... 1

...................................... 2

President’s Letter ................................................. 3

Meeting Announcements ..................................... 3

Support Groups; Thank Yous .............................. 4

Sympathy; Meeting George Goodlow ................. 4

Education Meeting Reports—Sep, Oct, Nov ....... 5

Important Contact Information ........................... 5

Calendar ............................................................... 6

NAMI Board, Phone Numbers ........................... 7

B ........................................................ 7

Benefits of Kindness ........................................... 8—11

Membership Form ............................................... 12

Countdown to 9-8-8

In the Spring 2021 issue of NAMI’s national publication, NAMI Advocate, Angela Kimball, National Director, Advocacy and Pub-lic Policy at NAMI, writes: “We need to demand that people experiencing mental health, substance use and suicidal crises are: • Treated with respect and dignity • Kept out of the justice system • Given the best treatment possible with health equity in

mind • Engaged in services and supports in the community • Responded to compassionately regardless of who they are

or where they live.”

She goes on to say, “Last year, we took a significant step in a positive direction with the enactment of the National Suicide Hotline Designation Act, establishing 988 as a nationwide number for suicide prevention and mental health crises, which will be available across the country by July 2022. The calls will be routed through the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline to local crisis call centers.

“NAMI members have a unique opportunity to speak up and demand a mental health response to mental health crises,” says Ms. Kimball She encourages NAMI members and others to share their ‘real-life experiences’ about the care they or others received “during a crisis call.”

Share your story now at nami.org/crisisstories.

December 2021—February 2022 Page 3

Letter from the President

Dear NAMI Members and Friends,

Welcome back! To welcome in-person audience members back to meetings at ICC has been a renewed privilege. An alliance calls allies together! After 18 months since our March 2020 education meeting, it was a pleasure to greet old friends and meet new ones when we started back in October. Thank you for complying with the vaccine docu-

mentation requirement.

As this issue highlights the benefits of kindness, I’d like to mention a kindness I overheard and one my family experienced. The one I overheard was simple and thoughtful, “Hey Friend, your mask looks a bit ragged, can I offer you another?” Offer accepted. In our NAMI classes we say that as opposed to other physical illnesses, mental illnesses aren’t casserole illnesses. Friends and even family members don’t act the same way to-ward us. A loving and creative friend of my family knew just what she could do when one of my family members was strug-gling at this time of year. She practiced stealth under the cover of darkness. One morning a single Christmas ornament glittered in the sunshine beneath the branch of a tree in our front yard. A couple days later there was another. Every few days, a small reminder said. “I’m thinking of you, and you matter to me.” A small puzzle, a few packets of hot chocolate and finally a can-dle to burn and remember. I’ve never forgotten her kindness!

Are you familiar with the NAMI Llama? The llama has had a surge in popularity. What started in Southwestern Illinois has gained the attention of a gifted cartoonist and a geek squad at NAMI Headquarters. Llamas are domesticated relatives of South American camels raised for their meat and wool and used as pack animals for centuries. Each llama can carry 25 – 30% of his body weight for up to 8 miles. They are social animals and live in herds. The concept in NAMI use is to let NAMIans help carry the bur-den you bear on your path of illness and re-covery. Affili-ate members have brought live llamas to fundraiser walks and used small stuffed llamas as gift draws at dis-plays. Meet a NAMI llama.

It is COVID awareness that has eliminated our usual holiday party once again. Our education meeting and support groups will not meet in December. We hope for good weather and plan to meet in January.

Wishing you Holiday Blessings and optimal health!

Beth Lawrence

Please visit https://nami.org/Home for resources and announcements of and links for meetings.

Enjoy the holidays

Topic: “Stop Tripping Over Your Own Feet”

Speaker: James Agbara Bryson, President of New Millennium Institute

Mr. Bryson will discuss self-handicapping behaviors and be-coming culturally competent and equipped to recognize the unique needs and mental health concerns of people of color and to provide community awareness of available mental health resources and services.

January Education Speaker Although James (Agbara) Bryson lived in public housing, he is an award-winning educator, national trainer, author, and consultant who, specializes in self-handicapping behav-iors. He is the founder of the New Millennium Institute and its nationally recognized Life Skills Job Readiness Bootcamp and Illinois Central College’s “Harvesting Dreams African American Male Retention Program.”

He is involved with local high schools to pro-vide professional staff development as well as his Stop Tripping program to high school sen-iors who are at-risk of not graduating.

As a result of COVID, Mr. Bryson has become acutely aware of the growing mental health crisis. Recently, he became a certified Mental Health First Aider, and founder of the Community Mental Health Educators. He provides workshops, seminars, and trainings to educators, businesses, community members and organizations on how to become culturally competent and equipped to recognize the stigma and unique needs and mental health concerns of people of color and to provide community awareness of available mental health resources and services.

Members speak out . . .

9/24 & 9/25, Beth Lawrence, Roger Mohn, John Mayfield, Karen Rose, & Lila Gammon staffed a display at The Popup Demonstra-tion in Downtown Peoria, encouraging healthier lifestyles.

10/4, Sam Wheeler spoke about overcoming adversities at the Hope Group which met at the Tremont Apostolic Church.

10/19, Karen Rose shared information about NAMI and mental health services at Limestone High School.

11/13, Beth Lawrence was a panelist at City of Refuge Church for “The Panel to Combat Gun Violence.” Roger Mohn, Karen Rose,

and John Mayfield also attended.

December 2021—February 2022 Page 4

Thank You! Monetary Donations

Abbvie Your Cause, multiple donations Mary English Renaldo and Peggy Jacques Paula Prutsman Ken & Janet Schrock

In Memory of Ruth Mayfield John & Patty Hession

In Memory of Matthew Roberts Lila Gammon Colleen Koehler Karen Rose Sonia Sullivan & Connie Ramsay

When: Third Thursday of all months except December

Time: 7:00 to 8:30 p.m.

Where: Illinois Central College, Peoria 5407 N. University,

What: Connections—individuals participating in

recovery, Room 127 Family Support Group—family and friends of

people with mental health conditions, Room 132

The weekly online support group meetings, available through NAMI Illinois, welcome participants from across Illinois and other states. Register by 4 p.m. on that day. Meetings are free of charge.

• Family Support Group: Wednesdays, 7:00-8:30 p.m. and the second & fourth Saturdays, 1:00 p.m.—For family members of any relationship to an adult with a mental health diagnosis

• Connection Group: Mondays & Thursdays, 7:00-8:30 p.m.—For anyone who personally experiences a mental health chal-lenge

• Parent Support Group: First & third Fridays, 7:00-8:30 p.m.—For parents of children or teens experiencing mental health challenges

• LGBTQ Support Group: Tuesdays, 7:00-8:30 p.m.—For LGTBQ individuals experiencing mental health challenges

Here's the link to the landing page about the groups; it's the same landing page regardless of the type of group. Once you're on that page, select the group for which you want to register:

https://namiillinois.org/online-support-group-registration-information/, or enter NAMI IL support groups in a browser

Crisis Intervention Resources Youth: CARES (Crisis and Referral Entry Services for Medicaid Card Coverage);

1-800 345-9049 CARES is Statewide and will assess eligibility for SASS (Screening and Assessment Referral Services)

24-hour crisis lines: Nat’l Suicide Lifeline: 1-800 273-8255 Peoria County ERS: 309 671-8084 Tazewell & Woodford Counties: 309 347-1148

Dial 2-1-1 for a non-emergency number that connects people with essential com-munity information and services: food, shelter, counseling, mental health, employment, elderly, children & families

If the individual is at risk: Contact the police department and ask for a crisis intervention-trained officer for an initial response. The police will contact ERS when the situation is secure.

If individual safety is not a concern: Contact ERS at 309 671-8084 ~ TTY Line: 309 671-3566. You will be asked for some brief information to assist their response.

Medical Detox: 309 689-3080

With Sympathy We extend our sincere con-dolences in the passing of

Patricia Lindberg to her husband Carl “Charlie”

Lindberg, their children and grandchildren. Pat

passed away on November 1, 2021. She was a former NAMI Tri-County Illi-

nois board member and officer as well as a Basics in-

structor. She and Charlie were supportive of our fundrais-

ers and other activities. Pat was a speech-language pathologist and a person who cared deeply for people with

difficulties.

Our sincere sympathy goes to Linda and

Richard Lakin and their family in the passing of their grandson Matthew Roberts

on October 31, 2021. Linda is an active member of NAMI Tri-County Illinois.

Meet New Board Member George Goodlow

George Goodlow was welcomed in October as an appoin-tee to our NAMI Tri-County Illinois Board of Directors.

George is in the thick of developing a more formalized and coordinated system of care to meet the needs of mental health for our youth and adolescents as Project Director of Children’s Mental Health Initiative Grant at UnityPlace. Prior to this position, George has held several positions in Foster Parent programs through Lutheran Social Services and the Children’s Home. George has become aware of NAMI’s mes-sage of achieving mental wellness

and wants to help NAMI empower all those needing cour-age to improve their mental health. George said,” It only takes one to care and make a difference.”

December 2021—February 2022 Page 5

Report of Education Meetings in September, October & November

September—presented by Zoom In September, Brandon Hayes and Mary Jennifer Meister high-lighted the offerings of Heartland Health Services (HHS). Brandon, Marketing and Development Specialist, said Peoria houses six health centers and an administration building. Three additional locations are in Pekin. The Community Engagement team assists patients and part-ners with other agencies. Certified community health workers help individuals apply for health care coverage and many other benefits. Mary Jennifer, LCSW, talked about the behavioral health care availa-ble at HHS. Three therapists, either a LCPC (licensed clinical profes-sional counselor) or a LCSW (licensed clinical social worker), are on staff at Peoria’s Carver and East Bluff sites. Patients also have access to a child psychiatrist (Knoxville location in Peoria) and a telehealth psychiatrist (Garden office in Peoria). Individuals (age 8 and up), cou-ples, and families can tap into mental health services. HHS also offers Medication-Assisted Treatment (MAT) in combination with counsel-ing/therapy for those experiencing substance use disorders. Payment sources accepted include Medicare, Medicaid, private insurance, and self-pay. For a patient without insurance, a payment plan is created. A pharmacy discount program is also available. Patients may be able to save money on their prescriptions. For more information, contact Heartland Health Services at (309) 680-7600 or go to the website at https://hhsil.com.

October—In-Person Event In October, Cheryl Parks, Executive Director of Jobs Partnerships

Peoria, detailed the program’s many offerings. In 2000, Jobs Partner-ship came to Peoria through the efforts of Heaven’s View Christian

Fellowship. The agency’s mission is “…to provide employment train-

ing, financial mentoring, and support services to all people who are

unemployed, underemployed, or retraining after a change in career, including those that are transitioning out of incarceration.” Cheryl

explained that a 12-week Jobs Partnership Core Curriculum is availa-

ble to community members and to individuals who are incarcerated.

The faith-based coursework is taught by community members from many professions/walks of life. Upon completion of the course, partic-

ipants receive a certificate. The not-for-profit also offers an 8-

component program called JP-Fresh Start during which participants learn life skills designed to yield a “fresh start.” Open to all Tri-

County residents is a Financial Opportunity Center where persons

learn how to reach financial stability. LISC Central Illinois (Local

Initiatives Support Corporation) helps support this endeavor. Lastly, Jobs Partnership Peoria administers 4 weeks of soft skills training as

part of the Illinois Central College’s Solar Pipeline Training Program

AND provides job coaching/other supports to students accepted into

the technical skills training. For more information on any of these pro- grams, contact (309) 404-9095 or go to JP Partnerships on Facebook.

November—In-Person Event In November, Peoria County Mental Health Court Team

keep people out of jail and in the community. Peoria County residents who are eligible for Mental Health Court enter voluntarily after plead-ing guilty to offense(s) committed. (Please note: Persons who have committed crimes of violence involving great bodily harm are prohib-ited from participating in this court.) The group asserted that mental health court involvement requires “lots of work.” However, successful completion results in case dismissal, “the reward at the end,” said one presenter.

Judge Sean Donahue, an associate judge who presides over Mental Health Court, is joined by the following professionals each with his/her own expertise:

Important Contact Information

Local NAMI Information 309 693-0541

www.namitri-countyillinois.org

NAMI IL – State Headquarters 1-800 346-4572

http://namiillinois.org

National NAMI Helpline 1-800 950-6264 http://nami.org

UnityPlace Access Center UnityPoint Health—Behavioral

Health Human Service Center

1 888 311-0321

Unityplace.org

Heartland Community Health Clinic

309 680-7600

Hult Center for Healthy Living 309 692-6650

www.hulthealthy.org

OSF Behavioral Health OSF Silver Cloud—digital therapy

program for home use

309 308-8150 833 713-7100

osfhealthcare.org/silvercloud

Children’s Home 309 685-1047

National Suicide Hotline 24-Hour Hotline

1-800 273-TALK

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

212 363-3500

Survivors of Suicide 309 697-3342 309 208-3027

Police – all counties Emergency Response Service:

Peoria County

911

309 671-8084 309 347-1148

VA Suicide Hotline 1-800 273-8255

Chelsea Lewis and Frank Zammuto, Human Service Cen-ter/UnityPoint-UnityPlace, recovery specialists

Dan Morse and Jessica Durbin, Peoria County Probation Department

Jason Ramos, Assistant State’s Attorney, Charging Divi-sion

Steve Glancy, Peoria County Public Defender’s Office

Judge Donahue explained Mental Health court participants meet weekly with this team. The team approach works well, he says, as does the non-confrontational and welcoming environ-ment. Describing Mental Health Court as “unique,” Judge Do-nahue said he wears no robe and celebrates successes in the courtroom for all to see.

C. Lewis, F. Zammuto, D. Morse, S. Donahue, J. Ramos, S. Glancy

December 2021—February 2022 Page 6

NAMI TRI-COUNTY ILLINOIS CALENDAR OF EVENTS

December 2021, January & February 2022

December 2021

December

January 2022 Thursday, January 6, 7:00–8:30 p.m. Monthly Education Meeting. Speaker: James Agbara Bryson, President of the New Millen-nium Institute, Topic: “Stop Tripping Over Your Own Feet.” ICC Peoria, 5407 N. University, Poplar Hall, Room 127 (see p. 3 for details)

January 20 7:00–8:30 p.m. Monthly Support Groups, ICC Peoria Campus, Poplar Hall Family and friends of people with mental health conditions. Room 132. For further information call 309 693-0541 Connections—individuals participating in recovery. Room 127. For further information call John 309 472-5907

February Thursday, February 3, 7:00 8:30 p.m. Education Meeting. Speaker and Topic: To be announced; ICC Peoria, 5407 N. University, Poplar Hall, Room 127

February 17 7:00–8:30 p.m. Monthly Support Groups, ICC Peoria Campus, Poplar Hall Family and friends of people with mental health conditions. Room 132. For further information call 309 693-0541 Connections—individuals participating in recovery. Room 127. For further information call John 309 472-5907

NAMI Illinois Online Support Groups—Support Groups are available for NAMI Family, Nami Connection, NAMI Parents, NAMI LGBTQ+ Connections Recovery, and NAMI Frontline Wellness. namiillinois.org/online-support-group-registration-information/ (see p. 4 for details)

NAMI at Princeton Illinois has cancelled all support group meetings until further notice.

Heart of Illinois Narcotics Anonymous: Due to the Covid-19 crisis, we have an ever-changing meeting list which includes both zoom and in-person meetings. The most accurate list of the Peoria area can be found at http://heartofillinoisna.org/meetings/. We are doing our best to update the meetings page in our area and region; however it is difficult to maintain an accurate list.

Mental Health Challenges Surrounding Childbirth: Melissa Millinger, a certified perinatal mental health specialist, said that in place of Moms Matter (not currently meeting), a mental health support group for moms around the time of childbirth, there is a two-step Facebook chat option. Start on Facebook page Climb out of the Darkness, see a link to We Climb Together to participate in a chat group.

Survivors of Suicide will have no in-person meetings until further notice. Rev. and Mrs. Hinrichs invite phone contacts; please call 309 697-3342 for support or questions.

Brighter Days Ahead 513 NE Madison Peoria, Illinois 309 222-2012

“Brighter Days Ahead” offers a positive and uplifting environment for people 18 years of age or older who have experienced a mental illness. Its purpose is for members to have a safe place where they can socialize, receive support, and be part of fun, recovery-oriented activities while envi-sioning the brighter days ahead. Numbers are limited due to social distancing.

Hours of Operation (Pandemic hours) Monday - Thursday from 8 a.m.–4 p.m. Friday & Saturday from 8 a.m.–7 p.m. Sunday from 12 noon–5 p.m.

If you have any additional questions, we would be happy to talk either by phone 309 222-2012 or at recoverycenter@fayettecompanies.org

Survivors of Suicide - Peoria http://www.afsp.org/coping-with-suicide/find-support/find-a-support-group/illinois/survivors-of-suicide-peoria

Contact: Rev. Eimo Hinrichs or Mrs. Pat Hinrichs, 309 697-3342 Meeting Place: No in-person meetings until further notice

When possible, Meeting Day(s)/Meeting Time: 1st and 3rd Tuesday, 7:00 p.m. Facilitated by: Peer/Professional Charge: None

Mood Challenge is no longer meeting due to lack of leadership. They contributed their remaining funds to Nami Tri-County Illinois. We know

that Mood Challenge was helpful to many of our members; we are sad-dened to learn they disbanded but thankful for their generous donation.

Unfortunately, there will be no holiday party due to Covid.

December 2021—February 2022 Page 7

N A M I Tri-County Illinois (309) 693-0541

Officers President ............................. Beth Lawrence Vice President Secretary .................................. Karen Rose Treasurer ................................ Roger Mohn Editor .................................... Lila Gammon

Directors Tahari Allen Pat Edwards David Gonzalez George Goodlow Kirsten Guiliano Eymarde Lawler

John Mayfield

Family Support Group Facilitators Lila Gammon Gay Knapp Beth Lawrence Marjorie Schwebel

Larry Fordham Dean Harris Eymarde Lawler John Mayfield

Family to Family Class Instructors Dianne Geiss Roger Geiss Gay Knapp Rachel Knapp Bruce Leman Kim Modglin

Roger Mohn

Peer to Peer Class Instructors Larry Fordham Dean Harris

Becky Dorman Beth Lawrence

For any subject matter of interest or suggestions, please call Beth 309 251-5830 or Lila 309 648-5420

Book Reviews

Random Acts of Kindness by Rachel Greco and Dete a Meserve, 2019

A disabled veteran in Oregon opens his front door to find that an anonymous Good Samaritan has left him a brand-new riding mower.

In Oklahoma City, a woman who has just lost her job is amazed when a stranger swoops in and pays for her groceries.

In snowy Boston, warm blankets mysteriously ap-pear on park benches throughout the city with a note: "These blankets are not lost! If you are cold, without shelter, and looking for comfort, then they are for you. Enjoy, and know that you are loved."

The true, inspiring tales in Random Acts of Kind-ness spotlight ordinary people from age nine to one hundred who have found unique ways to show

will warm your heart and make you laugh; others will make you smile; and a few might make you cry—in a good way—with the joy of knowing there

is so much goodness and generosity in the world.

From the author of the bestselling novel Good Sam (a motion picture on Netflix worldwide) and award-winning journalist Rachel Greco, these uplifting stories will fill you with hope and gratitude, restore your spirit, and give you faith in the power of kindness to transform you and the world around you.

The Kindness of Strangers: How a Selfish Ape Invented a New Moral Code

by Michael E. McCullough, July 2020

A sweeping psychological history of human good-

ness—from the foundations of evolution to the

modern political and social challenges humanity is

now facing.

How did humans, a species of self-centered apes,

come to care about others? Since Darwin, scientists have tried to answer this question using evolutionary

theory. In The Kindness of Strangers, psychologist Michael E. McCullough shows why they have failed

and offers a new explanation instead. From the mo-ment nomadic humans first settled down until the

aftermath of the Second World War, our species has confronted repeated crises that we could only survive by changing our behavior. As McCullough argues,

these choices weren't enabled by an evolved moral sense,

Today's challenges—climate change, mass migration, nationalism—are some of humanity's greatest yet. In revealing how past crises shaped the foundations of

human concern, this book offers clues for how we can adapt our moral thinking to survive these challenges as well.

www.nami.org/—National Alliance on Mental Illness

nimh.nih.gov/—National Institute on Mental Health

mentalhealthtreatment.net—Mental Health Treat-ment articles

Www.afsp.org—American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

samhsa.gov—substance abuse & mental health services administration

psychcentral.com—getting help for a variety of mental illnesses

Choicesinrecovery.com—guides for recovery strat-egies

http://mentalhealthchannel.tv/ https://www.columbusrecoverycenter.com/help-teen

-with-mental-health-issues/—teen mental health mayoclinic.org—many medical issues including

behavioral health

December 2021—February 2022 Page 8

Not so Random Acts: Science finds that being kind pays off

Acts of kindness may not be that random after all. Science says being kind pays off. Research shows that acts of kindness make us feel better and healthier. Kindness is also key to how we evolved and survived as a species, scientists say. We are hard-wired to be kind.

Kindness “is as bred in our bones as our anger or our lust or our grief or as our desire for revenge,” said University of California San Diego psychologist Michael McCullough, author of the July 2020 book Kindness of Strangers. It’s also, he said, “the main feature we take for granted.”

Scientific research is booming into human kindness and what scientists have found so far speaks well of us.

“Kindness is much older than religion. It does seem to be uni-versal,” said University of Oxford anthropologist Oliver Curry, research director at Kindlab. “The basic reason why people are kind is that we are social animals.”

We prize kindness over any other value. When psychologists lumped values into ten categories and asked people what was more important, benevolence or kindness, kindness comes out on top, beating hedonism, having an exciting life, creativity, ambition, tradition, security, obedience, seeking social justice and seeking power, said University of London psychologist Anat Bardi, who studies value systems.

“We’re kind because under the right circumstances we all bene-fit from kindness,” Oxford’s Curry said.

When it comes to a species’ survival “kindness pays, friendli-ness pays,” said Duke University evolutionary anthropologist

Kindness and cooperation work for many species, whether it’s bacteria, flowers or our fellow primate bonobos. The more friends you have, the more individuals you help, the more suc-cessful you are, Hare said. For example, Hare, who studies bonobos and other primates, compares aggressive chimpanzees, which attack outsiders, to bonobos where the animals don’t kill but help out strangers. Male bonobos are far more successful at mating than their male chimp counterparts, Hare said.

McCullough sees bonobos as more the exceptions. Most ani-mals aren’t kind or helpful to strangers, just close relatives so in that way it is one of the traits that separate us from other spe-cies, he said. And that, he said, is because of the human ability to reason.

Humans realize that there’s not much difference between our close relatives and strangers and that someday strangers can help us if we are kind to them, McCullough said.

Reasoning “is the secret ingredient, which is why we donate blood when there are disasters” and why most industrialized nations spend at least 20% of their money on social programs, such as housing and education, McCullough said.

Duke’s Hare also points to mama bears to understand the evolu-tion and biology of kindness and its aggressive nasty flip side. He said studies point to certain areas of the brain, the medial prefrontal cortex, temporal parietal junction and other spots as

either activated or dampened by emotional activity. The same places give us the ability to nurture and love, but also dehuman-ize and exclude, he said.

When mother bears are feeding and nurturing their cubs, these areas in the brain are activated and it allows them to be gener-ous and loving, Hare said. But if someone comes near the mother bear at that time, it sets of the brain’s threat mechanisms in the same places. The same bear becomes its most aggressive and dangerous.

Hare said he sees this in humans. Some of the same people who are generous to family and close friends, when they feel threat-ened by outsiders become angrier. He points to the current po-larization of the world.

“More isolated groups are more likely to be feel threatened by others and they are more likely to morally exclude, dehuman-ize,” Hare said. “And that opens the door to cruelty.”

But overall our bodies aren’t just programmed to be nice, they reward us for being kind, scientists said.

“Doing kindness makes you happier and being happier makes you do kind acts,” said labor economist Richard Layard, who studies happiness at the London School of Economics and wrote the new book Can We Be Happier?

University of Califor-nia Riverside psychol-ogy professor Sonja Lyubomirsky has put that concept to the test in numerous experi-ments over 20 years and repeatedly found that people feel better when they are kind to others, even more than when they are kind to themselves.

“Acts of kindness are very powerful,” Lyubomirsky said. In one experiment, she asked subjects to do an extra three acts of kindness for other people a week and asked a different group to do three acts of self-kindness. They could be small, like opening a door for someone, or big. But the people who were kind to others be-came happier and felt more connected to the world.

The same occurred with money, using it to help others versus helping yourself. Lyubomirsky said she thinks it is because people spend too much time thinking and worrying about them-selves and when they think of others while doing acts of kind-ness, it redirects them away from their own problems.

Oxford’s Curry analyzed peer-reviewed research like Lyubo-mirsky’s and found at least 27 studies showing the same thing: Being kind makes people feel better emotionally.

But it’s not just emotional. It’s physical. Lyubomirsky said a study of people with multiple sclerosis found they felt better physically when helping others. She also found that in people doing more acts of kindness that the genes that trigger inflam-mation were turned down more than in people who don’t. And she said in upcoming studies, she’s found more antiviral genes in people who performed acts of kindness.

Benefi ts of Kindness

December 2021—February 2022 Page 9

I recently was talking about kindness to a young client who asked if I wanted them to get on the ark. I asked what that meant. The client said, "Acts of random kindness." That was a great response from a young person. How about you? Are you willing to get on the ark?

Finally, I'd like to leave you with this quote: "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." —Dalai Lama

Steve Siegle is a licensed professional counselor in Behavioral Health in Menomonie, Wisconsin.

How to create Happiness

It may seem hard to believe, but there is a lot of truth behind the idea that happiness is a choice. Although genetics and life circumstances play a role in your level of happiness, there are steps you can take to help increase your enjoyment of life.

It's unrealistic, of course, to snap your fingers and decide to be happy. But if you bring consciousness, gratitude and even fri-volity to your day, you'll likely feel more joyful.

So how can you do that?

Take a few minutes to reflect on these questions to find ways to boost your happiness: • What are some things that you might be able to reconnect

with that bring you joy? • How might you stay focused or engaged on tasks at hand

when life continues around you? • How might you find novelty in everyday life? • What would it look like if you put yourself first instead of

making everyone and everything else a priority? When is the last time you spent time immersed in nature?

Now make a commitment to yourself to find happiness in each day. Use this list to get started:

• Make a list of activities you used to enjoy but have given up in recent years. Choose one to reconnect with, and dedi-cate at least two weeks to it. See if this activity makes you happier, and consider making time for it again.

• Spend at least 10 minutes a day outside. Pay attention to the trees, grass, water, breeze or whatever else surrounds you.

• Consider things that have made you happy and unhappy in the past. Make a list, and let it help guide your path to happiness.

• Download and print questions and activities to help boost your happiness.

Sissy Yang is a nurse practitioner in Family Medicine in Faribault, Minnesota.

The Art of Kindness

Kindness is more than behavior. The art of kindness means harboring a spirit of helpfulness, as well as being generous and considerate, and doing so without expecting anything in return. Kindness is a quality of being. The act of giving kind-ness often is simple, free, positive and healthy.

Good for the body Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy and compassion, and improve mood. It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a stress hormone, which directly im-pacts stress levels. People who give of themselves in a bal-anced way also tend to be healthier and live longer. Kindness can increase your sense of connectivity with others, which can directly impact loneliness, improve low mood and en-hance relationships in general. It also can be contagious. Looking for ways to show kindness can give you a focus ac-tivity, especially if you tend to be anxious or stressed in some social situations.

Good for the mind Physiologically, kindness can positively change your brain. Being kind boosts serotonin and dopamine which are neuro-transmitters in the brain that give you feelings of satisfaction and well-being and cause the pleasure/reward centers in your brain to light up. Endorphins, which are your body’s natural pain killer, also can be released. Discover ways you can cre-ate happiness.

Be kind to yourself It is not just how you treat other people—it is how you ex-tend those same behaviors and intentions to yourself as well. I believe you can be kinder in your own self-talk and practice gratitude. People are good at verbally beating themselves up, and rarely does that work as a pep talk. Rather, negativity often causes you to unravel and may even create a vicious cycle of regularly getting down on yourself. You wouldn't talk to your neighbor the way you sometimes talk to yourself. This is what I call the “good neighbor policy,” which can be helpful. If you would not say it to your good neighbor, do not say it about yourself.

Simply asking "How am I going to practice kindness today?" can be helpful. For a homework assignment, I have invited some clients to pay attention and periodically document dur-ing the day their evidence of kindness to others and especial-ly to themselves. This positive focus is like planting positive seeds in your mind garden. Where focus goes, energy flows.

December 2021—February 2022 Page 10

On the other hand, the really good news is that by turning our attention toward helping others, we make everyone feel better —ourselves included. We find not only relief from our de-pression and anxiety, but also improvements in our relation-ships.

Taken together these two effects can trigger a "virtuous cir-cle" in which improved relationships lead to feeling better leads to improved relationships and so forth.

Practicing Compassion

The scale that measured compassion in the study above in-cludes seven techniques: 1. Being supportive of others. We can let the people we

care about know we're excited when something goes well for them, and that we hurt when they're in pain.

2. Having compassion for others' mistakes. We all mess up at times. A gentle response (e.g., "It's OK—you're hu-man") not only makes the person feel better but bolsters our relationship with them. It may also plant a seed for being treated kindly when it's our turn to mess up.

3. Making a positive difference in someone's life. Exam-ples include taking a friend out to lunch, making one's partner's day a little easier, or even graciously letting someone merge in front of you in traffic.

4. Making constructive comments to others. Our words are powerful, for good and for harm. Building others up with our words also builds our relationships with them. An add-ed bonus: We can't be saying destructive words at the same time that we're saying constructive ones.

5. Avoiding doing anything that would be harmful to oth-ers. Sometimes it's enough simply to avoid hurting other people. For example, maybe that means walking away during a heated argument when we know we're about to say something venomous.

6. Avoiding being self-centered. A preoccupation with our own well-being crowds out concern for others. High levels of depression and anxiety tend to make us turn inward and focus on ourselves, which probably explains in part why compassion for others can relieve both of these conditions.

7. Avoiding doing things that are unhelpful to others. We can take care not to do things that make others' lives more difficult, like leaving a mess for them to clean up.

Of course, we don't have to be anxious or depressed to do things that strengthen our connections to others. Investing in our relationships is the biggest key to our long-term health and happiness. And that sounds like a pretty compassionate way to treat ourselves.

Seth J. Gillihan, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and author specializ-ing in mindfulness-centered cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

References Crocker, J., & Canevello, A. (2008). Creating and undermining social support in communal relationships: The role of compassionate and self-image goals. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95, 555-575.

Dinger, U., Ehrenthal, J. C., Nikendei, C., & Schauenburg, H. (2017). Change in self-esteem predicts depressive symptoms at follow-up after intensive multimodal psychotherapy for major depression. Clinical Psy-chology and Psychotherapy, 24, 1040-1046. doi:10.1002/cpp.2067

Erickson, T. M., Granillo, M. T., Crocker, J., Abelson, J. L., Reas, H. E., & Quach, C. M. (2017). Compassionate and self-image goals as interper-sonal maintenance factors in clinical depression and anxiety. Journal of Clinical Psychology. doi:10.1002/jclp.22524

Leary, M. R., & Baumeister, R. F. (2000). The nature and function of self-esteem: Sociometer theory. Advances in Experimental Social Psy-chology, 32, 1-62. doi:10.1016/S0065-2601(00)80003-9

How Helping Others Can Relieve Anxiety and Depression

New research shows one more way that compassion is bene-ficial.

When we're depressed, it's hard to feel good about ourselves. We're quick to see our own limi-tations and slow to remember our strengths. For example, peo-ple with depression are more likely to: • Blame themselves when

something goes wrong. • Believe that other people

don't like them. • Feel a general sense of dis-

like for themselves. • Interpret their actions in the

worst possible light. • Remember the mistakes they've made.

Low self-esteem is a significant predictor of future depression. On the flip side, our view of ourselves improves as depression improves, and increases in self-esteem during psychotherapy can prevent relapse into depression.

Thus finding ways to feel better about ourselves would appear to be one way to lift depression.

A recent study examined two ways of trying to increase one's sense of self-worth in a sample of adults with depression and/or anxiety: 1. Self-image goals focused on "obtaining status or approval

and avoiding vulnerability during social interactions." Ex-amples included "getting others to notice your positive qualities" and "avoiding showing your weaknesses."

2. In contrast, compassionate goals were about "striving to help others and avoiding selfish behavior"—for example, "making a positive difference in someone else's life."

The researchers measured how much each participant focused on these goals, and also assessed their depression and anxiety symptoms and their degree of conflict with other people.

Analyses showed that a greater focus on self-image goals was linked with more relationship conflict and a worsening of symptoms during the 6-week study period. In contrast, compas-sionate goals were associated with lower levels of symptoms and less relationship conflict.

The research team carried out an important follow-up study, asking a significant other for each participant (a romantic part-ner, family member, or close friend) to rate that person's self-image and compassionate goals.

These ratings by significant others were also linked to relation-ship quality as judged by the partners or family members. Thus the important people in one's life also feel the effects of where we focus our energy when we're anxious or depressed.

These results are both good and bad news for people with anxi-ety and depression.

The bad news is that trying to boost our self-image by avoiding vulnerability and seeking others' approval backfires in more ways than one: It leaves us feeling depressed and anxious, and also damages our relationships. These two effects can reinforce each other, leading to a downward spiral.

December 2021—February 2022 Page 11

was so moved by the experience of raising money to help one injured child that he went on to found the Against Malaria Foundation, which has raised over $140 million and is de-scribed as the world’s most effective charity.

In our work, we have interviewed dozens of some of the most extraordinary altruists in the world—people who have given one of their own kidneys to a stranger—and nearly all started out as blood donors and volunteers. To a person, they say that their donation brought them immense pleasure and that they would do it again if they could. As one altruist told us, "There’s a euphoria that accompanies the act of living

From a utilitarian perspective, it’s not crazy at all. It’s undeni-ably a good thing that giving feels good, as it motivates us to keep giving. But perhaps it really does make giving selfish. Andreoni and others argue that the emotional rewards of giv-ing rob the act of real virtue. Maybe those who give the most are actually the most selfish people just angling for a dopa-mine rush.

Or maybe not.

A recent review found that narcissists—who are genuinely selfish—are less generous than other people and that when they do give gifts, it’s only to impress or influence people, not because they genuinely care about them. This makes sense. If giving were just about feeling good, a truly selfish person would choose an easier and less costly way to get the same result—dopamine is also released by eating chocolate and having sex, after all.

Another possibility is that taking pleasure in helping others is what it means to be generous. Think of it this way: Would you consider someone who gives gifts begrudgingly to be more selfless than someone who takes joy in it? Of course not. As Buddhist monk and neuroscientist Matthieu Ricard argues, “The fact that we feel satisfaction upon completing an altruis-tic action presupposes that we are naturally inclined to favor the other’s happiness. If we were completely indifferent to others’ fates, why would we feel pleasure in taking care of them?”

Research in my laboratory has identified some of the brain processes that naturally presuppose us to take pleasure in helping. For example, in altruists who give kidneys to strangers, parts of the brain that support parental nurturing, like the amygdala and periaqueductal gray, are unusually large, densely interconnected, and responsive to others’ needs. Animal studies find that the release of the nurturing hormone oxytocin in these brain regions when caring for others is re-sponsible for subsequent dopamine surges. This suggests that it is our fundamentally caring nature that moves us to help others and that feeling good may be merely a lucky and fore-seeable outcome of giving, rather than its purpose—a critical distinction.

Abigail Marsh, Ph.D., is a Professor at Georgetown University and the author of the book The Fear Factor: How One Emotion Connects Altruists, Psychopaths, and Everyone In-Between.

Does Taking Pleasure in Giving to Others Make Us Selfish?

Recent research helps explain the warm glow of giving. If a single word could capture the feel of the winter holidays, it might be glow.

The word itself sounds snug and warm. It suggests candle-light, roaring fireplaces, and lights twinkling through boughs and brightening the darkest days of the year. It conjures the feeling that accompanies gift-giving, too. Giving gifts reliably creates such a cozy, pleasurable feeling that economists dub it the “warm glow” of generosity.

But much like the creeping shadows cast by even the cheeriest fire, the warm glow has a dark side. Economist James Andre-oni, who coined the term, claimed that the glow of giving makes acts of generosity ultimately selfish: If giving feels good, how generous can it really be? Maybe gifts are just an-other way of using other people to make ourselves feel good.

There is no denying the rush of positive feeling that accompa-nies the act of giving. When researchers give participants a little money, those who are randomly selected to spend it on someone else report feeling happier than those instructed to spend it on themselves. Even one- and two-year-old toddlers feel happier after giving cookies to a puppet than after receiv-ing treats themselves. And if you take away the warm glow by compensating people for a gift—which turns giving into a transaction—generosity declines.

Neuroscience research has linked the warm glow of giving to activity in a region of the brain called the nucleus accumbens, where the neurotransmitter dopamine is released, resulting in feelings of heightened well-being—and the desire to repeat whatever caused it. This makes dopamine a key player in ad-dictions—cocaine, for example, also causes dopamine to spike. It would be an overstatement to equate gift-giving with an addiction, but the warm glow of giving does tend to make people want to give more, leading to ascending spirals of gen-erosity and reward.

This positive feedback loop can drive generosity to awe-inspiring heights. The unforeseen rush of emotions that Bill Gates experienced during a trip to Africa in the 1990s to give children computers ultimately led him to create the mighty Gates Foundation. And a businessman named Rob Mather

In other words: Feel free to bask in the warm glow of gift-giving this holiday. That feeling you are enjoying is a hallmark of generosity,

not its absence.

December 2021—February 2022 Page 12

We provide education, support groups, and advocacy for families, friends, and individuals with mental illness in Peo-ria, Tazewell, and Woodford Counties.

Name(s) ____________________________________________________________________________

Address _________________________________________ Phone _____________________________

City ______________________ST ______ZIP __________E-mail _____________________________

Monetary Donation

$10________ $25________ $50________ $100________ $250________ Other $_______

Check enclosed for $______________ Donations are tax deductible

NAMI Tri-County Illinois Membership Form

An affiliate of the National Alliance onMental Illness

Membership dues also include membership in NAMI and NAMI Illinois

Household Membership $60 (single vote)

List up to 10 names with separate phone & email but

same address

Individual Membership $40

Open Door Membership $5

You may join online rather than by sending in this form:

http://nami.org Specify NAMI Tri-County Illinois

NAMI Tri-County Illinois P.O. Box 10167 Peoria, IL 61612 309 693-0541 www.namitr i -county i l l ino is .org

________________________

An affiliate of the National

Alliance on Mental Illness

________________________

Choose one: