Equilibrium Magazine 48

MAGAZINE FOR WELLBEING

SPR

ING

2013

ISSU

E 48

SPRING ISSUE 48

>> Mindfulness>> Arts & Reviews>> Hearing Voices Network>> Exercise (your self-control)>> An evening of Anti-Psychiatry >> News, views and opinions

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Equilibrium PatronDr Liz Miller Mind Champion 2008

Photo copyright remains with all individual artists and Equilibrium. All rights reserved. 2011

Equilibrium is devised, created, and produced entirely by team members with experience of the mental health system.

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Front cover:

Azure D Osborne-Lee: ‘Small Golden Blessing”

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contact usEquilibrium, Clarendon Centre, Clarendon Road, London, N8 ODJ. 02084894860, [email protected]. We are in the office on Friday afternoons 2.30-4.30, but you can leave a message at other times and we’ll get back to you.

Equilibrium is produced by service users. Reproduction in whole or in part is strictly forbidden without the prior permission of the Equilibrium team. Products, articles and services advertised in this publica-tion do not necessarily carry the endorsement of Equilibrium or any of our partners.Equilibrium is published and circulated electronically four times a year to a database of subscribers; if you do not wish to receive Equilibrium or have received it by mistake, please email unsubscribe to [email protected]

Despite the jack-in-the-box nature of this year’s spring (coming and going and taking us all by surprise!) hopefully our Spring issue of Equilibrium will channel some positivity in your direction, whether you’re browsing through it over breakfast in the garden or huddled up in bed in three blankets and a scarf! We hope you enjoy this season’s articles from both the team and guest writ-ers, and thanks to everyone who sent us their spring pictures for the front cover - we loved them all! Although it is a tempestuous time at the moment, with a new round of biting cuts taking effect, a picture of a lamb or two still puts a big smile on our faces.

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contributionsWanted: contributions to Equilibrium! Please email us with your news, views, poems, photos, plus articles. Anonymity guaranteed if required.

the teamFacilitator/ Editor: Kate Massey-Chase. Editorial team: Pumla Kisosonkole, Angela, Dev Chatterjea, Ian StewartGraphic design: Anthony Parké.

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LISTENING TO...

Kate: Dilemma on Radio 4, a panel show chaired by Sue Perkins, discussing moral conundrums; some great music suggested on the blogs Yes Miss Fox (http://yesmissfox.wordpress.com/) and Creativ-ise (http://creativise.wordpress.com/) – their ‘Tuesday Tunes’ and ‘Mid-week Melodies’, respectively, have been introducing me to some new favourites Anthony: Bollywood singing – we’ve broken the car radio and it’s stuck on a random station!Ian: Mark Knofler & Emmy Lou Harris’ new CDDev: ‘80s/90s disco, classical, Indian music – all sorts! I like to mix things up and swap between genres. Polly: A lot of baroque! Marcia: ‘Adorn’ by Miguel. At first I liked it for the soul sound, and now I really like the lyrics too.

GOING TO...

Kate: I’ve been going to yoga for about 6 months now and love it! I’ve also been for a weekend in Prague with my mum, and to the theatre loads – I’ve particularly enjoyed seeing Spymonkey’s Cooped, National Theatre’s One Man Two Guvnors, and Snuff Box Theatre’s Bitch Boxer. Anthony: Life-drawing classes. Lots of naked bodies, which I obvi-ously look at in a very objective and professional way. It’s nice to keep in touch with the basics. Ian: Group meditation, run by the Meditation Trust, where I’ve been discussing experiences of meditation and enjoyed the opportunity to meditate together with others, which can result in a more profound experience. Polly: Macbeth with James Macavoy and Claire Foy, and The Trial a site-specific journey in Shoreditch by Retz Theatre Company. Marcia: The cinema to see Django Unchained, which was really good.

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Summer/ Issue 38Summer/ Issue 38 www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium EQUILIBRIUM

WATCHING...

Kate: Call the Midwife, based on the memoirs of Jennifer Worth, set in East London in the 1950s. I love the combination of Jenny Agutter, Vanessa Redgrave, Pam Ferris and Miranda Hart, and also the fact that it’s so pro-NHS; I hope Jeremy hunt watches it!Anthony: I’ve been forced to watch Teen Mum and One Born Every Minute against my will, when I’d prefer to be watching Arnold Schwarzenegger! Ian: A range of arts programmes on BBC4, particularly enjoying the ones on painter’s lives. Pumla: Searching for inspiration, but finding it hard to settle with anything. Any recom-mendations for something to follow? Routine can be good for the soul!Dev: I like to watch a lot of comedy, from South Park and Family Guy, to The Two Ronnies. I recently watched a film called Sometimes in April, a historical drama about the Rwandan Genocide of 1994, which was very affecting. The only thing I can’t stand is horror movies – my brother made me watch The Day of Reckoning, which was really scary! Polly: The Challenger – a one-off drama about the enquiry into the 1986 space-shuttle disaster Marcia: I loved watching Mr Selridge – I couldn’t get enough of it! Lots of funny moments, affairs, secrets coming to light, and a bit of the history of the time.

READING...

Ian: Balthazar by Lawrence Durrell, the second book in the Alexandria Quartet. Anthony: Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for MeaningKate: Dostoyevsky’s The Idiot; also enjoy my free weekly copy of Stylist on the tube, and reading the satirical articles on The Daily Mash (current favourite: ‘Spring thinks it’s too late to start now’, http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/spring-thinks-its-too-late-to-start-now-2013040564772)Pumla: Bits of The Guardian I find on the 144 – beats the Metro!Polly: Gardens of Stone – cracking autobiography of somebody in the French Resist-ance. Marcia: Yesterday I read an interesting article in Mature Times, which is about issues that affect older people, about health risks for over 60s, including some information about Bowel Cancer Awareness Month. As more than 8 in 10 bowel cancer cases are in people over 60.

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Summer/ Issue 38EQUILIBRIUM Summer/ Issue 38Photo: AnthonyEQUILIBRIUM 6


In February, I went to an Anti-Psychiatry

evening at Nottingham Contemporary

Gallery, for a selection of excellent events

and discussion.

First, there was a film by Dora Garcia (The

Deviant Majority (From Basaglia to Brazil)

2010) flipping from Basaglia’s Triests/Gorizia

anti-asylum movement, to powerful thea-

tre sessions with ‘service users’ in Trieste,

punctuated by stark text-on-screen in the

film The Inadequate. There were interviews

with ‘70s protest leader Carmen Roll from

the SPK (Socialist Patients Collective, later

allied with the Red Army Faction). Strong

stuff. Anti-psychiatry then seemed to be

anti-asylum, anti-capitalism, grown from

the student protests and other protest

groups sweeping parts of Europe.

Then there was a fabulous discussion:

First John Foot, a UCL (University College

London) historian who has developed

a special interest in Basaglia, Turin and

Gorizia and the Italian movement to close

asylums (without much thought of what

would come after). Next, Howard Caygill

– a philosopher from Kingston inter alia –

who gave a powerful talk about a particu-

lar statue in Arezzo, Italy, commemorating

those with mental distress, closely examin-

ing where it was in the garden of the old

asylum, which way it faced, how it juxta-

posed against an old statue hidden in the

shrubbery. Next David Reggio – also from

Kingston – a Brazil expert. Well mediated

by Isobel Whitelegg.

To catch up with this and the night after

(Duncan Double and others at the core

of the critical psychiatry movement) go

to: http://www.nottinghamcontempo-

rary.org/event/anti-psychiatry-part-1 and

watch the filmed events.

An Evening of Anti-Psychiatry Nottingham Contemporary Gallery

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Polly Mortimer

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As a former professional athlete, and current service-user, my single most important piece of fitness

advice to other service users is abstinence and moderation.

The service-user community has a high level of social drug use, particularly nicotine and alcohol (as well as some prevalence of illegal drug use). Prescrip-tion medication is not yet sufficiently advanced to avoid the occurrence of debilitating – not to mention embarrassing – side effects. To overcome extrapyrami-dal side-effects such as tardive dyskinesia (involuntary movements), obesity and low mood, may I recommend or introduce service-users to moderate exercise, such as walking, cycling and low-resistance weight training, yoga, tai chi or similar; if you’re brave enough, not to mention young enough (I’m 52 years old in 2013) you can also try dancing. Mental illness can be considered to age service-users prematurely, so don’t forget the tried and tested rules of training for strength, stam-ina and suppleness (the 3Ss):

- Avoid excess in known hazardous – even socially acceptable – drugs, like nicotine and alcohol. - Maintain a well-balanced, high protein, diet, avoiding carbohydrates, the commonest source of obesity.- Try to enjoy well-prepared, regular meals; for further dietary advice contact the Institute for Optimum Nutrition (http://www.ion.ac.uk/) or speak to your GP or pharmacist.

Also remember, taking a little bit of what you like and simply enjoying eating does you good.

Vitamin supplements and secondary treatments, such as Chinese herbal medi-cine, massage, saunas, and maintaining the most achievable level of personal care in terms of clothing and self-presen-tation will also lift mood, especially if you enjoy shopping!

To end this piece, I offer this advice: if you can’t exercise your body, exercise your mind.

Image: totalhealthstartshere.wordpress.com

Exercise (your self-control)

Allan Malik Dennis-Smith is a former personal fitness instructor and employee at London Sports Forum for Disabled People.

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On 28th March, I joined a staggering

1000 other people at the Friend’s

House on the Euston Road for An

evening with John Kabat-Zinn. Famed for

bringing Mindfulness to the West, 35 years

ago, the evening was a celebration and

further investigation into this practice: ‘an

adventure into the art of conscious living’.

The event was run by Action for Happiness,

and introduced by their chair, Mark William-

son, an organisation whose prime concern

is to take action to try and create a happier

world. They do this by looking both outside

– calling on political leaders and those with

the power to change policy – and inside

at the self, in an endeavour to maximise

human wellbeing.

JKZ (as I shall call him, for ease) was

welcomed to the stage by Lord Rich-

ard Layard, the economist – and Labour

peer – who made the economic case for

IAPT (Improving Access for Psychologi-

cal Therapy) to the Labour government in

2006. I was thrilled to hear Layard had not

only been involved in JKZ’s mindfulness

course for parliamentarians (I wish they’d

make it compulsory in Whitehall!), but will

also be involved in a pilot study to reform

PSHE (Personal, Social, Health Education)

in schools, including adding mindfulness to

the curriculum. But, rather than going off on

a tangential rant about the need for cohe-

sive, consistent and relevant emotional and

social education in our schools (a matter

close to my heart), I shall try and stick to JKZ

and mindfulness for the moment – and mind-

fulness is all about the moment!

Mindfulness – a practice rather than a tech-

nique, as it is something you cannot simply

learn and store away somewhere, but more

a way of living in the world, ideally a way of

living that is practised and observed daily – is

drawn from the principles of Buddhist medi-

tation, and is essentially the act of being with

our experience as it is unfolding, moment

by moment. JKZ described it as ‘the aware-

ness that arises intentionally, in the present

moment, non-judgementally’. Or something

MindfulnessKate Massey-Chase

Photo: Sarah Lines

Summer/ Issue 38Summer/ Issue 38 www.haringey.gov.uk/equilibrium EQUILIBRIUMEQUILIBRIUM 11


like that – it was quite hard to be in the

moment, listen, and frantically scribble

notes all at the same time! But breaking it

down into its necessary components, it is:

Awareness: This is not ‘doing nothing’,

but ‘non-doing’: waking up to the world

around us; being present without an

agenda.

Intentional: Interestingly, he described it as

‘a radical act to wake up early and take

your seat every morning’, particularly in a

world where distractions seem everywhere;

intentionally being in the moment, rather

than the past or future.

Present: Right now, this very moment.

Non-judgemental: He talked about the

importance of cultivating an ‘affectionate

attention’; ‘putting the welcome mat out

for things as they are’.

Mindfulness is essentially being fully mind-

ful, physically, emotionally, mentally of the

now; my favourite thing he said was ‘Now

is the now. Check your watch – it’s now

again’. As a group of over 1000 individu-

als we all came together in a moment of

formal meditation, quite early on in the

evening, which JKZ instigated by rolling his

sleeves up and saying, ‘Let’s arrive’. Mind-

fulness is complex in its simplicity and very

hard to explain in a few

paragraphs or pages, and

thus actually doing it was

important to the discus-

sion. I found myself repeat-

edly trying to explain it in

my head throughout the

evening, knowing my part-

ner would ask when I go

home what it had been

about. And, pre-emptive

of her questioning, trying to

answer: But what purpose

does it serve? And, as I was

trying to be mindful, my

thoughts were going: Yes,

it’s all very nice to have some quiet time, to

reflect, but… although, hang on, we’re in

the now, aren’t we? So, we’re not reflect-

ing, we’re….what are we doing again? Oh

yes, trying not to think. Eek, I’ve ruined it:

I’m thinking. And now I’m worrying about

thinking. Which is even worse! Arghhh, I’m

really bad at this! So goes the mind chatter.

JKZ says: ‘We need to get out of our own

way, to the silence underneath and

between every sound’. But, as a rela-

tive novice, it’s hard not to want to shout:

‘How?!!’ Yet – and as an educationalist, this

is something I hold true for many things – he

says we should covet a beginner’s mind,

the place where we see things newly,

freshly, and non-judgmentally. He also

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repeatedly reinforced that

you can’t develop muscles

without resistance, so the

fact that trying to be a

human being, rather than a

human doing, is hard is part

of the process. And part of

why this is a practice, rather

than a technique. He used

the analogy of thoughts

as weather patterns in the

mind, drifting across, which is

a metaphor I find really help-

ful, and will certainly use to

calm my chattering mind.

I worried that it could be seen as ego-

centric and self-absorbed to dedicate

that much time to yourself (which is indic-

ative of both my own hang ups regard-

ing guilt over self-compassion, and that

I find any talk of ‘cultivating the garden

of the heart’ flips my sceptical switch

on). But – and really there doesn’t need

to be a ‘but’ to justify it, but I’ll slip one in

for other sceptics out there – mindfulness

looks out as well as in, and is also about

‘being in wise relationship with the suffer-

ing and happiness around us’, learning

self-compassion and compassion for

others. JKZ also highlighted the urgency

of it: destruction is woven into our human

nature, and we need to take action –

radical, sitting down in silence action it

may be – to transform the world we live

it. And although he told us, ‘You’re fine

the way you are’, none of us would be

worse for being mindful of the world in

which we live, at this moment, exactly as

it is and we are. Interestingly, in all Asian

languages the word for heart and mind is

the same thing; mindfulness is also heart-

fulness.

If you need more convincing to take a

quiet seat every morning and attune

yourself to the cosmos, there is also some

amazing sciencey stuff to do with epi-

genetics, biochemistry, enzymes and

things, which I’m probably not clever

enough to explain, so you might want to

google. Although the crux of it was that

daily practice of mindfulness leads to

greater emotional balance, caused by

more left than right brain activation in the

pre-frontal cortex, and greater anti-body

production.

If mindfulness is therefore an ‘act of love,

sanity and self-compassion’, which has a

positive impact on not just my emotional

but also my physical wellbeing, and

which also builds compassion for others,

then I’m sold. And you can do it sitting

down – brilliant!

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EQUILIBRIUM GALLERY SPACE: PHOTOS


IMAGES BY: Leigh Johnstone, Alyssa Grace Sorresso, Tom Leman, Sarah Lines and Emily.J.Barrow


A PORTRAIT OF JAMES A Submissions to the BP Portrait Awards, 2013 - AGAIN!

Anthony J. Parke

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I’ve always been interested in painting

people, mainly because I’ve always

been awe-struck by the capabilities

of so many portrait artists I’ve come

across over the years. My initial attempts

at portraits (reaching back some twenty

years or so), were what I harshly regard as

second-rate; but over the years I’ve gradu-

ally improved and this is mainly due to

researching a myriad of techniques until

I found one that suited. So with gradual

improvements I find myself entering the BP

Portrait Awards for the third consecutive

year (all previous submissions rejected).

On previous occasions I’d submitted quite

conventional portraits, usually female, look-

ing quite classical, and tightly cropped to

the head. I noticed what I took to be a

difference between my paintings and those

being selected. It was by no means some-

thing which appeared across the board,

but certainly in many instances: a) many

portraits had a narrative element, some-

times subtle, sometimes prominent, and

b) the portraits were usually three-quarter

length or full length.

The setup for the narrative was the environ-

ment, usually a living room, a work place,

an outdoor backdrop. It could be the

way the sitter was seated or standing, the

clothes they were wearing. In some way

these aspects added to the understand-

ing of the sitter, offered a gateway into

that person’s life. Of course this gateway

can be found by many other means too,

through the features (though I don’t believe

mine ever did), something about the way

the paint is handled, the colour, the line, in

fact the list is endless. But those two aspects

mentioned above, for me at least, stood

out.

Of course there are always exceptions

to the rule (and this may not even be the

rule!): notably Michael Gaskell’s tempera

portraits which are free of any narra-

tive element. One could hardly say that

anything in his exceptional portraits offered

an overt insight into the sitter’s psyche;

there is no narrative at play. However the

majority of submissions seem to me to both

carry a narrative and be three-quarter or

full length.

This is not an exact science, and nor should

it be. But considering these aspects at least

allowed me to come up with what I now

regard as my most successful portrait. (Am I

allowed to say that?)

This years portrait of my brother James is by

no means a choreographed painting solely

A PORTRAIT OF JAMES A Submissions to the BP Portrait Awards, 2013 - AGAIN!

kate wants inro how ot into paint-

ing

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cont.


designed to cynically meet some covert

criteria of the BP Awards. No doubt many

artists to some degree tailor their work to try

and ‘fit’ the awards. And why not. I simply

felt a narrative context and three-quarter

size pose would allow me a greater prospect

of selection. This is of course an international

stage for portrait artists, and commissions can

come off the back of exhibiting here.

I knew a portrait of James would generate an

image which would be striking, which would

have that narrative element; and of course,

I wanted to ensure it would be three-quarter

length. I also wanted it to be a painting which

represented the journey I’m currently on as

a painter, which is one of not limiting myself.

And having completed this submission I feel

my painterly toolkit is far broader than it was

prior to the submission.

My submission this year is of my brother,

James. Now James was diagnosed with a

severe mental illness at the ridiculously young

age of fourteen. He is now 51. Suffering from

Schizophrenia for that length of time, all

the various drugs that have been pumped

through his system, takes a toll, and that

history becomes evident and etched into

the features. His face stands out as being the

face that belongs to a life that has been less

than ordinary. But I guess it’s not enough to

paint a face that is different. It’s about paint-

ing that person’s life, sensing their life through

their features and posture and physical

context – and in doing so striving to come

closer to capturing a fairer, more rounded

representation that person.

Whether the portrait gets in this year is

perhaps not the important thing. Perhaps the

real award for this year’s submission has been

stepping outside of a very comfortable way

of painting portraits, and exploring some-

thing a little more provocative. It’s essentially

the difference between paintings done

for commission, and paintings which I may

choose to do for myself. I now have a clearer

understanding of what I might like to paint for

myself. Which is a small reward in itself.

cont.

Contact:www.parkepaintings.comwww.anthonyparke.blogspot.co.uk


Brain synchronicity and the Neanderthals

There is a theory that Neanderthals, ‘who flourished between

200,000 and 30,000 years ago and who share 99.84% of their

DNA with us’, may have had some sort of language which

they used to enable themselves to hunt together; indeed it

would have been difficult without it. Living in groups of four

or five and having to deal with the technology they had

of shaping stone heads for their spears or dealing with the

incidents of being injured during their hunting, communica-

tion would have been vital. They therefore could have been

exposed to ‘problems that modern humans face, such as

schizophrenia’. Interestingly, the theory ‘puts the disease

down to brain coordination problems between the brains

left and right hemispheres’ (The Inner Neanderthal: New

Scientist 14 January 2012). This draws an interesting parallel

with a point I picked up on in a previous article that illustrated the way that people who prac-

tise Transcendental Meditation techniques have shown increased brain synchronicity and a

decrease in stress levels. This in turn is an example of the utility of becoming more aware of our

individual evolutionary paths and how nature allows for a solution that helps man reach ever

upwards to the potential he has for greater happiness. Ian Stewart

Literature and the Brain

According to research, so an article in the Telegraph reports (Julie

Henry, 17/01/13), reading the classics can give the brain a boost in

terms of producing more electrical activity.

Reading more challenging subjects such as the poetry of Words-

worth or the work of Shakespeare caused the monitoring of brain

activity to light up, more so than less challenging material. An

English professor working on the study is quoted as saying: “Serious

literature acts like a rocket booster to the brain. The research shows the power of literature to

shift mental pathways, to create new thoughts, shapes and connections in the young and

staid alike.”

The research involving 30 volunteers showed that unfamiliar words caused brain activity to

peak and primed the brain “for more attention.” Later the researchers intend to try to under-

stand how psychology can be affected and whether or not there is any therapeutic benefit.

Ian Stewart

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A Funding Fog Kate Massey-Chase

From September to July last year,

CoolTan Arts, a charity run by and

for adults with mental distress, ran

a women’s poetry group which I facili-

tated. With a strong belief that mental

wellbeing is enhanced by the power of

creativity, their chief executive Michelle

Baharier identified two reasons in particu-

lar to set up a women’s poetry group:

“The cathartic nature of words and

because in a male-dominated society

women’s spaces remain important.” At

the end of the project they published

an anthology of the participants’ work,

a platform for the women’s voices and

recognition of their talent.

Since March 2011, however, CoolTan has

lost 100% of its service-level agreement

with the South London and Maudsley

NHS Foundation Trust in the wake of the

‘Personalisation’ programme of personal

budgets, introduced by the Department

of Health (DoH). Personal budgets are

an allocation of funding given to some-

one based on an assessment of their

needs, intended to help them design

a package of social care support so

that they gain more control over the support

they access. Rolled out in England since

2008, although the original target of having

all council-funded service-users on personal

budgets has now been pushed back from

April 2013 to 2015, personalisation remains

the future of social care funding. However,

although intended to empower those in

need of community care services through

greater choice and control, in practice it is

hard to determine whether personalisation is

triggering more service-user involvement or

estrangement.

Applying for a personal health budget can

be a daunting process - a 30-page assess-

ment form, with different criteria for eligibility

in different boroughs. Speaking to Edward

Omeni, a researcher from King’s College

London who ran a focus group on person-

alisation with CoolTan participants, he

suggested that the complexity of the appli-

cation process – and the problem of profes-

sionals still not knowing enough themselves

– has meant that service-users are trying to

be their own social workers, navigate the

system and ultimately lose services. As one

participant said in a podcast on the subject:

“God knows what it really does mean! With

all bureaucratic words you sometimes feel

that something is getting a bit worse or more

complicated.”

The women’s poetry group at CoolTan Arts

was partly funded by the Big Lottery’s Reach-

ing Communities fund as a provision for those

missing out on personal budgets. That has

now ended and the remaining poetry group

is only open to men and women who pay

for their participation from their personal

budget or other sources. Unfortunately several

women who attended our workshops last

year are not in receipt of this funding and are

not in a financial position to attend, despite

the benefits to their health and wellbeing.

Staying abreast of changes in policy and

provision is fundamental to preparing for

any arts work in the margins, in order to both

respond to the needs of participants and

map out where the furrows are in the ever-

changing terrain – holes and gullies through

which the vulnerable can fall, depending

on where they sit in the hierarchy of need, or

indeed which borough they live in. We know

that the arts can make a difference to the

lives of those who engage with them. After

her first workshop, one poet said: “When I

started the class today I couldn’t even read

the poem. And now, in two hours, I’ve not

only read and understood all of them, but

I’ve also written my own - and it’s going to

be published! I finally feel like the grey fog in

my brain has started to lift for the first time in

two years.” Her care support had not been

‘personalised’ by policy, and without alterna-

tive funding, she might still be in the fog.

First published by Arts Professional, in Issue

263, Thursday 11 April 2013

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Pastel Paintings by Dawn Laporte

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Created in the art class at the Clarendon Centre


Jacqui Dillon and the Hearing Voices Network

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by Polly MortimerAt the London Philosophy Club

Jacqui took to the little platform stage

and talked ad hoc for an hour to a full

house on a snowy January night in East

London. It’s hard to summarise the pindrop

atmosphere and attentive audience at her

feet.

Starting by name-checking the great Judith

Hermann and those Dutch pioneers of the

HVN, Marius Romme and Sandra Escher, she

took us straight to the heart – voice-hearing

makes complete sense.

In the wider world voices are seen as ‘symp-

toms’ with an 80% chance of a ‘schizophre-

nia’ diagnosis, and those hearing voices who

visit a psychiatrist will be given neuroleptics to

eradicate them. It’s said this ‘works’ for 33%

of these people, and 67% ‘benefit’. Before

psychiatry voice hearing was seen very differ-

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ently. It’s a common experience with up to

10% of people hearing voices. 2/3 of these

never see psychiatrists. Jacqui explained that

hearing voices is a reaction to extreme things

happening, (PM - or which have happened),

in people’s lives. The HVN is the polar opposite

of the traditional approach; they understand

and listen and enable survival. They support

people to listen and understand the voices.

Voices are on a continuum of human experi-

ence. This supportive and person-centred

approach has spread to 26 countries with a

US network kicking off – on a continent domi-

nated by profit-driven big pharma & the stran-

glehold of the insurance companies. Different

cultural backgrounds are much more accept-

ing of voice-hearing and hearers, far from the

taboo culture which equate voices with mad

to bad to dangerous to unpredictable.

The 180 or so groups in England provide,

above all, a safe space to share experiences.

Voice-hearers talk about their voices ‘know-

ing their Achilles Heel’ and their personal

taboos. Theses groups give expertise and

share expertise. ‘You are the expert in your

own experience’. It is a process of empower-

ment – divorced from the dominant ‘expert’

doctor and passive patient model. Those who

are labeled ‘psychotic’ are frequently those

who are overwhelmed by distressing life expe-

riences, which are uncomfortable for people

to hear, often abuse, racism and/or poverty.

People need to be asked ‘what’s your story?’

‘What’s happened to you?’

HVN is not pointing the finger at the psychi-

atric profession but creating alternatives and

moving beyond the status quo. Jacqui’s own

experience of voices has led her to feel they

are ‘communications from the unconscious’ –

they talk to each other and even dictate what

she needs to write. She hears many voices:

women, children, different accents. That begs

to question: what is the difference between a

voice and a thought?

Psychiatrists are quick to dub voices ‘misattrib-

uted inner speech’ and pathologies the expe-

rience. This does voices a disservice. The whole

‘thought’ and ‘voice’ area is a knotty one –

which is a thought, which is a voice? She has

heard voices telling her to kill, but does not act

on them; one is responsible for one’s actions.

Treatment reduces risk.

Threatening voices need to be heard more

about and engaged with. The hearer must be

kept safe.

Her definition of a good psychiatrist is one not

subscribing to DSM, someone who does not

pathologies and recognizes distress as an ordi-

nary human reaction. Someone who listens, is

humble and curious. They are more existential

– concerned with the meaning of life. Jacqui’s

cont.


voices used to tell her to cut herself; through

therapy she could untangle the cutting. It

was a shame, anger and rage release.

At the HVN meetings all explanations for

hearing voices are accepted. There is a

respect for all in the group – whether they

say their voices are aliens or neighbours or

anything. She has developed a working rela-

tionship with her voices and renegotiated

power, and punctured their omnipotence.

Where do ideas come from and what does

it mean metaphorically? She feels that those

on drugs who develop a psychosis ‘reveal’

through drugs rather than have the psycho-

sis ‘induced’. There are other things going

on that lead someone to take drugs – there

are reasons. Recovery is finding one’s own

knowledge and power.

So much has been done: creating safe

spaces, training professionals, allying with

academics and professionals, writing, speak-

ing, talking, tweeting. There is no need to

prove anything; she believes the evidence

is before our eyes. The evidence that

someone has recovered. The qualitative

evidence is the most important. ‘The Masters

tools will not dismantle the Masters House’.

The system is out of date and the training of

psychiatrists out of date. Everything needs to

be more humane.

This was such an inspiring evening and ques-

tions could have flown here and there for

hours. I greatly admire Jacqui and the work

she is doing. Here’s hoping HVN will go from

strength to strength.

As a young person, some girls are given

the talk about the facts of life (i.e.

‘Where do babies come from?’). What

I was told from home and school, emphasized

how not to have unwanted pregnancies.

At school there was a girl who got pregnant

at 15 years old. This young girl told a teacher

everything. All the teachers and children were

eventually told. She remained anonymous (they

did not say her name), but it was obvious who it

was. There was no objection to her returning to

school but she did not feel she could cope.

My best friend has a teenage daughter. When

she was about 14 the first thing I told her about

men, is not to bring an idiotic man to the house. I

also gave her a card that said ’When is the best

time to kiss a man? The card said WHEN HE’S

RICH!’ The whole family found it very funny. Is

this right or is this right? I wrote in the card ‘Make

sure you get a good man when you get big.’

Then I noticed what some black Divas were sing-

ing about men. A Diva is a celebrated female

singer. The term is used to describe a woman of

outstanding talent in the world of opera and by

extension in theatre, cinema and popular music

(Wikipedia).

There was a diva called Gwen Guthrie who sang

a song called ‘There ain’t nothing going on but

the rent’. This song is basically saying she does

not want a man with no money.

Divas

EQUILIBRIUM 25

cont.

Girly Talk


Gloria Gaynor sang a song called ‘I will

survive’, which is very famous. This song is

basically telling the man that she does like

anymore, to get out of her life. Alesha Dixon

sang a song called ‘The boy does noth-

ing’. This song is talking about a man who

does not do the housework. Janet Jackson

sang a song called ‘What have you done for

me lately? ‘Sunshine Anderson sang a song

called ‘Heard it all before’, which is saying

that she is fed up of her man’s lies.

The above Divas are talking about the rela-

tionships they’ve had with men that are no

good. Then I had to look at the other side of

the coin and told her about some positive

examples from Divas.

The first example I told her about was the

Tina Turner song called ‘Simply the Best’. It

is a beautiful song and I like the words. I am

surprised that she did not write a song about

her former husband Ike Turner. Maybe she

was too scared to sing about what she really

thought about him. Or maybe it hurt too

much.

Chaka Khan sang a song called ‘Ain’t

nobody loves me better’. She is basically

singing a song about a man that made her

very happy.

I would like my friend’s daughter to be

choosey when it comes to

having a relationship with the opposite sex.

It’s best not to rush into things you will later

regret, especially when you are young. I was

born in the 60’s (don’t tell anyone!). If you are

not careful love can be just a four letter word.

The UK has the most under aged pregnancies

in Europe, with 2.9 out of every 100 girls aged

between 15 and 19 giving birth every year

(‘UK tops league of teenage pregnancy’,

Steve Dougherty, Daily Mail). I think this is

quite negative for all concerned. Tina Turner

asks ‘What’s Love got to do with it?’ These

under aged pregnancies must be affecting

the economy because these young girls did

not get a career, and the government has to

support mother and baby.

Has the way that men treat women changed

negatively? Maybe it’s because women are

now more career-orientated. Have the roles

reversed?

Divas

EQUILIBRIUM 26

by Angela

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Girly Talk

Since the current government being

sworn in 2011, Haringey council has

made massive cuts to the mental

health services. Within the last two

years much needed centres like the 684

(day centre), Alexandra Road Crisis Unit

(a respite care centre) and other services

have been axed. This could be due to the

double-dip recession.

Presumably, the Clarington Centre will

be left to take on some members from

those centres. This means the centre staff

will have to take on and manage larger

numbers of members. Saying this, the

centre is turning into a wellbeing college

and a café from a day centre, so things are

changing anyway. Also, as it stands, some

people may not be able to access some

services because they don’t have ‘second-

ary support’ or have a personal budget.

When people say ‘Mental Health Problems’

they don’t mean that he or she is having a

mood swing or being moody, but is unable

to control their condition. This could be

a terrifying ordeal and have side effects.

One of the reasons why these services are

needed is because people with this condi-

tion need regular support and a place to

go where they can meet people with similar

problems and a safe place where they are

not judged as being mad or out of control.

With the cuts to the services, it makes it

more difficult to control or find places for

them to go for support on a regular basis. As

well as meaning ever-reducing support to

people with mental health conditions. This

could be due to ‘lack of service support’

and staff to handle these situations.

Haringey Cuts

The cuts and their impact on mental health services in Haringey.

Dev

EQUILIBRIUM 27

Sometimes at the emergency drop-in

centres where you come in desperately

to get help, you are sent back with some

stronger doses of medicine and assigned

to a ‘home care support team’. Sometimes

this does not work but makes it worse.

Saying that, some medicines do work and

help them feel calmer and may cause

some relief for the person or help some of

their symptoms.

According to Haringey council and central

government, GPs will have more control

over local services. To deal with mental

health conditions you would need trained

professionals, so I wonder: how would a GP

who deals primarily with physical health

deal with a non-physical condition?

The council has also suggested that other

members be involved in their care. In other

words you help yourself. This could work

two ways 1. Other people with same

difficulties help people with the same

problems, i.e. peer support. 2. Charities

might help. This might take some pres-

sure of the under-staffed and resourced

services. Charities, and any services like

Mind, Canning Crescent, provide valua-

ble support to people with mental health

problems.

I hope the existing services, including

charities, are able to support all those

who need them.

EQUILIBRIUM 28


Middle of the Storm

Alyssa Grace Sorresso


For me, 2010 was the year of The Risk. I

had uprooted myself from my home,

work and life in Chicago, Illinois to study

abroad for a year in London, England. I was

lost back in the states, not knowing who I was

or what I wanted, a result of several years of

job burn-out and multiple, drama-ridden rela-

tionships. Some of my friends had hinted that I

was actually running away from my problems;

but I knew that even if that were the case, I

wasn’t happy where I was. I had to risk every-

thing for my wellbeing or regret doing nothing.

And that attitude is what ultimately landed me

on a bike, cycling 280 miles in 3 days, in the

middle of a storm.

I am pedalling furiously on my bicycle on a

high bridge in the Netherlands. Rain is hitting

my sunglasses and soaking through the layers

of body armor and an all-weather jacket. At 30

mph, I have only one thought: do not fall.

32 other cyclists are in various positions and

speeds around me, all riding to raise money

for a non-profit theatre company called

Cardboard Citizens. I have worked for the

Citz as an intern to fulfil a requirement for my

Masters degree in London. At this moment, I

am supposed to be in London, holed up in my

flat, researching and writing my dissertation

that is due in two weeks. Instead, I have raised

£1500 to cycle to Amsterdam through a total

of 4 countries and 280 miles in 3 days. We are

on day 3. My breath is steady as I concentrate

through the droplets. I have never in my life

ridden this far on a bike.

A week before our departure, I started flip-

ping out. What the hell was I thinking? Leaving

in the middle of my dissertation for a 280-mile

bike ride? I couldn’t even conceptually under-

stand that number, much less imagine myself

completing the journey. My “training” had

consisted of cycling around London, visiting the

Notting Hill area once a week to go up what I

considered a really steep incline. I had missed

my only opportunity to do a long distance

practice ride due to illness. And despite taking

all precautions by purchasing absolutely every

item on our guide’s “to-pack” list, including 2

extra tubes of chamie cream, I was seriously

doubting myself and my sanity.

As Day 1 began, I started off in the “slow”

group (10-15 mph), as I wasn’t sure I could

keep up a higher speed. However, by the first

stop on our trip, I had moved up to the middle

or “fast” group (20-25 mph). As we travelled

down through southern England, I fought my

way up truly steep inclines that bitch-slapped

Notting Hill, and relished in the freefall of a

well-earned decline. I felt the actual purpose

Middle of the Storm

cont.


Now in Day 3, we are firmly planted in the

southern Netherlands. The weather is threat-

ening rain, but we are spared for the morning.

So we fly along the Noordzee Cycle Route,

topping 36 miles an hour. I receive the gift of

a tailwind and effortlessly sail along the path.

The sun peaks out and lights up the environ-

ment around me: rolling blue ocean backed

by opulent sand and lush prairie grasses. As

I pedal, I remove a camera from the back

pocket of my jacket, hold it at arm’s length,

and snap a picture of myself. My smile is

huge. I feel great. Here I am in the home

stretch, Day 3, almost to Amsterdam. I don’t

really care that I left in the middle of my

dissertation or that I double-packed all the

suggested items; nothing of that matters here.

I gaze up at some thickening clouds in the

distance and realize I am truly content.

Within an hour, the thickening clouds turn into

a downpour, and everyone is immediately

soaked to the bone. We break for a light mid-

morning snack, but it’s quick. Our guides say

we don’t want to stop for long, but rather try

and outride the weather. I huddle inside the

food van that follows us, attempting to dry

out a little before getting back on my seat.

As our group takes off, I realize that I hate

cycling in the rain more than anything.

Getting ahead of the weather starts to seem

like an impossible task. The showers won’t let

of energy bars, gels and drinks coursing through

my body, and swore never again to just eat them

because I was hungry at 3 p.m. By the end of the

first day, I was knackered, refusing to climb the

last hill in the middle of lush Dover foliage, instead

opting for a ride to our accommodations. But I

had made it through the first day of cycling about

80 miles. London and my doubts seemed so much

smaller.

Our agenda for the Day 2 was at least 100 miles

through three countries: starting in Dunkerque,

France (to which we took a ferry from Dover in the

morning), through Belgium, and ending in Middel-

burg, The Netherlands. The journey was expected

to be grueling, but the near-perfect weather

softened the miles. We cycled along Belgium’s

canals with a surprise pub stop by a picturesque

windmill. We sang Beatles songs while enjoying the

ease of our slipstreams. We even laughed at carry-

ing our bikes through the mud and darkness to the

hotel, where we finished off the last of our 120 miles

with wine and chicken dinner.

EQUILIBRIUM 31

cont.


up, and we approach a long stretch of a tram

bridge. The rain has made the concrete slick

like glass. Deeply embedded tracks run down

the middle of the bridge. I feel anxiety rise up

in my chest. I bring my concentration back

to pedalling and breath, settling into a tense,

meditative state. The rain starts coming down

harder as I work to keep pace. With each spin

of my feet I chant, Do not fall, Do not fall, Do

not fall.

Everyone around me is struggling. We should

stop, but there is no cover. One of our guides

has ridden further up and doubled back, shout-

ing to let us know that the rain is clearing near

the end of the bridge. Only a couple miles or so

to go. I register his words with a slight nod of my

head. I don’t want to chance any unnecessary

movement.

I watch our guide position himself in front to

lead our group to safety when I feel my handle-

bars twist sharply out of my hands. In mere

seconds I realize my front tire is caught in the

tram tracks, and that I am hurtling towards the

hard, wet cement. Then there is no more think-

ing. The left side of my body hits the ground,

chest first, with a jarring impact. The bouncing

of my helmet follows as I slide a few feet from

my bike and lay motionless.

I cannot breathe. My first coherent thought is

that I’m having a heart attack. The second is

that a rib has punctured my lung. I am para-

lyzed. Our guide and several other cyclemates

surround me, asking if I can hear them. I lie

there telling them I am having trouble breath-

ing and they say the doctor is on the way. They

tell me to stay with them, talking to me about

anything. I learn I was the first of four cyclists to

fall independently; we went down, one after

the other, like dominos.

The doctor comes. I am able to breathe a little

more easily, but still feel numb. Shock and disas-

sociation are strong, and I only respond with

mumbles and nods, staring up at the clouded

sky. Rain falls silently on my face and it is cold.

After a few minutes, my fellow cyclists carefully

move me to the side of the bridge where I can

sit and be further evaluated. The doctor finds

some bloodied scrapes on my legs and arms,

but not many. My layers of clothing saved my

skin from being shorn off. There are no broken

bones or unbearable pains when moving my

limbs. I just feel stiff and achy. The doctor says

EQUILIBRIUM 32

cont.


the worst thing I seem to be suffering from is

shock.

They put me in the doctor’s van and wrap

me in a blanket. I shiver violently, unable to

generate any warmth. Outside the van our

guide discusses the multiple accidents with

the doctor. The other cyclists are back on

their bikes – I was the worst fall of the four.

They decide the weather has cleared up

enough, and the group should continue on. I

am told to rest as much as I need, eat a lot of

sugar and drink water.

I ride with the doctor in the passenger side

seat. Eventually, I start feeling grounded

again, back in my body, but I am exhausted.

About 3 hours go by and we arrive at a

dock where we need to take a ferry into the

northern Netherlands. I get out of the van

and slowly walk to what looks like a nearby

restaurant to change my clothes. The restau-

rant turns out to be a combination casino

and strip club, but flashing lights and naked

women are the least of my concerns. I’m

focused more on removing my clothing

that I haven’t changed since the fall. In the

bathroom I begin to peel the layers of body

armour off my skin, inspecting the newly

formed bruises and abrasions. Along with a

dry set of clothing, I brought talcum powder

to soak up any wetness. The white powder

scatters all over the bathroom floor, spilling

out from underneath the door. A woman

enters, pushes the powder suspiciously with

her foot and leaves. She must have thought it

was cocaine.

Back in the van, I fall asleep as we cross

on the ferry. When I wake up, I feel tested

but resilient. I want to get back on my bike

and ride the rest of the way to Amsterdam.

The group is taking a lunch break while the

doctor checks me over and gives me his

approval. I wander back into my cycling

group, greeted enthusiastically by my

friends. Our guide hands me a peanut butter

sandwich and a banana, both of which I

devour immediately. The food makes me

feel somewhat human again. My friends are

concerned about me riding, but I assure

them it’s ok, that I can do it. I shake off the

last of my fall and push off with 32 other bikes,

32 other comrades who had stumbled, fallen

and gotten back up again just like me. And

when we end our ride in Dam Square that

night, I cheer with everyone, ringing my bell,

knowing the risk was worth the fall.

cont.

www.tactlessgrace.com

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Equilibrium Magazine 48