Amedned Mr Restless

8/11/2019 Amedned Mr Restless

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STORY OF MR. RESTLESS

By

CHINU

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STORY OF MR. RESTLESS

PREFACE,

Yes, an autobiography. If I call it as my story it will infringeupon the brandMY STORYby Kamala Das in English-the famous

rebel writer had penned hundreds of short stories and poems in

both the languages as well as a few novels. o that is not a title

freely available.

!here are so many autobiographies around and therefore not a

good title to use. "y E#perience is the autobiography of "ahatma

and that title could not be pic$ed up by another, much less by an

ordinary person. o let us $eep it a Story of Mr. Restless. %hile

writing this narrative story, I stumbled upon the following poem

which compounded to my confusions and swinging moods as to

whether I should ma$e this attempt , will it be possible for me,

ma$ing my tas$ more difficult.

I

I walk down the street.There is a dee hole in the sidewalk

I fall in.

I a! lost ... I a! helless.

It isn"t !y fa#lt.

It takes !e fore$er to find a way o#t.

II

I walk down the sa!e street.There is a dee hole in the sidewalk.

I retend I don"t see it.

I fall in a%ain.

I &an"t 'elie$e I a! in the sa!e la&e

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'#t, it isn"t !y fa#lt.

It still takes a lon% ti!e to %et o#t.

III

I walk down the sa!e street.

There is a dee hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in ... it"s a ha'it.

!y eyes are oen

I know where I a!.

It is !y fa#lt.

I %et o#t i!!ediately.

I(

I walk down the sa!e street.

There is a dee hole in the sidewalk.

I walk aro#nd it.

(

I walk down another street.

-A#to'io%rahy in Fi$e Short Chaters )y Portia *elson

o how and where to begin' (f course from the beginning. %as

the beginning from self or parents or even their parents i.e.

ancestors. )ichard Daw$ins has written a boo$ titled

*A*CESTORS+ TALES+. !he tales start with the present day

humans and goes bac$ stage by stage to millions of years,

somewhere up to + million when it was assumed that the first

signs of life appeared on primordial oceans. ut I have not learned

anything about my own parents and still less about the grand

parents. /othing is $nown about generation past.

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Even what is $nown is confined to geographical area called

!irunelveli, Kala$ad 2attamdai village . 3s per popular fol$lore,

the name Kala$ad was due to one of the following4

1. !he place was a forest full of 5$alaa5 6!amil word7 tree8&. It was a battlefield or 5$alam5 6!amil word78

0. It was the capital of 5$alapirars5 who ruled !amil /adu from

this place.

In istory of Tra$an&ore fro! the Earliest Ti!es, 2. 3.

an$unny "enon mentions-ala&a#dinstead of Kala$$ad. 3 few

battles between the !ravancore Kings and the ritish at this place

are recorded. 9oannes de :annoy, the only son of Eustachius De:annoy;, was $illed in battle of Kala$$ad on 1+ eptember 1uent struggles

from in late 1uivalent of a

fort, in this area, though no traces of it are found today.!oday it is all sprawling rice fields, tiger reserve and hundreds of

villages and a few townships. !he village of Kala$$ad has several

streets, running around the athyavageeswarar temple. ?enerally

the streets were inhabited by people of specific castes, though

these days one can find a mi#ture of people in all the streets. !he

village is surrounded by lush green paddy fields, with the %estern

?hats at the hori@on. "any small and beautiful waterfalls can be

seen in the distant mountains.Maalai 1arland0 ar#$inear can be

seen from a distance of almost A $m. !here are several othertemples for M#thara!!an, Isakkia!!an, S#adalai!adan and

Ayyanar in the village. Pari (ettai and -odai (i2ha are annual

festivals which are celebrated in these temples. !he forest areas

have been declared as a protected tiger reserve - Kala$$ad

"undanthurai anctuary.

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eustachius_De_Lannoyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eustachius_De_Lannoyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puli_Thevarhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eustachius_De_Lannoyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eustachius_De_Lannoyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puli_Thevar


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E(E*TS CO**ECTE3 4IT -ALA-A3

(ur parents in their early days were residents of this remote

village. !here is one smaller village a little south nearer to

mountain slop going south almost up to the end of the land,separating !amil /adu and Kerala. "y own birth place, was

2athamadai or 2attamadai a couple of miles north $ala$ad.

2attamadai is apanchayat town in !irunelveli district.2athamadai

is the birthplace of Divine :ife ociety Bounder Cimaya 9othi. ri.

wami ivananda araswati. 62oorvasrama /ame. Dr. 2..

Kuppuswamy7. It is famous for ma$ing beautifully crafted floor

mats called il$ mat orPatt# Paimade out of special-oraigrass,

which reminds me of naps at my $ala$ad house. . 3t occasions, Iheard from mother that father use to wal$ down to tiger reserve

forests ,Chen%altheriwhere is a old 3mman temple to do pooas ,

invo$ing the deity to do good for all in the village and collect

herbs , and e#periment use of herb at house. During those days

they were staying in that area. I remember something of that

location as if in a dream. "y old cousin sister aged F& now at

Kala$ad told me, after my grandfather too$ Samadhithere were

long enmity, ve#atious property dispute among their family whichresulted in disintegration of the oint family.

!hereafter my father planned to go to inagpore and even too$

passport photographs and filled up the formalities. ince mother

wept, he changed his plan left the village to see$ employment and

came to "umbai in search of employment and finally got his

assignment in Asthika Sa!a5 , Mat#n%a as first priest of that

temple. !o my $nowledge all thru my conscious childhood and up

to the end of elementary school, father was always away from us

and was coming to our rented house at 2attamadai for a few daysin a year. Ce brought biscuits, coloured , slate pencils to us. In

those years mother gave shelter to my uncles and close family

friends from Kala$ad who came to 2attamdai in pursuance of

good education ,which was available at )amasheshiar Cigh

chool at 2attamadai . "y father used to send remittances by
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panchayat_townhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tirunelveli_districthttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panchayat_townhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tirunelveli_district


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money order once a >uarter and therefore my mother was

managing monthly fees for school, rent of the house, maintenance

of the family, ta$ing recourse to then prevalent barter system and

through her measly savings.

Ce came home for a few days, too$ his brother also to "umbai towor$ a priest in Canuman !emple in 3sthi$a ama, "atunga

!hey were $nown as )am and :a$shman in the family and in the

social circles. . It was a bac$ brea$ing ob, as routine starts at +

a.m pooa to 11 p.m. !hey were well educated in edic ritual,

!amil, ?rantam6&7 and ans$rit languages.

3s per information, mother was also from Kala$ad had several

cousins male and females. he belonged to the generation of

woman for whom sacrifice came before self. !he %orld %ar IIgeneration is often hailed as the greatest generation in recognition

of the enormous sacrifices the men and women of that era were

as$ed to ma$e. .

*AMI*1 CIL3RE* I* FAMILY6

I come bac$ to the story about which we are concerned. Earlier

I mentioned about father wandering around southern !amil /adu

and even to ingapore, in search of ob as a edic preist. !he firsttrip might be an$aran Koil in !irunelveli . It is home to the

famous an$ara /arayanan temple. It is situated at !irunelveli

District and = $m away from !hirunelveli Gity. :i$e every other

temple, an$aran$ovil has its own interesting story. (nce the

devotees of :ord Cari 6or ishnu7 and :ord hiva >uarreled with

each other to determine whose god is powerful. !hen :ord hiva

appeared as an$aranarayanar to mar$ his devotees to understand

that both Cari and hiva are one and the same. o it is held sacred

by aivites and those Cindus who believe that iva and ishnu area single deity one in one and accordingly, desire to worship the two

gods into one form. rivaishnavites of !amil /adu who worship

:ord ishnu only, have not accepted the mingling of iva and

ishnu thus, and therefore, they reect this deity of this temple

which depicts the concept of Cari and Caran being one ?od. It

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houses the deity by the name an$ara /arayanan, which is half -

:ord hiva and the other half - :ord ishnu.!he deities of this

temple are ri an$areswarar, ri ?omathi 3mman and ri

an$ara /arayanar. an$aran$ovil is also said to be home to the

deity named 3vudai 3mbal.!he general belief is that the Colyand H2uttrumannH 62uttru 3nt Cill, "ann and7 that one gets

from this temple is capable of curing all the diseases. Devotees

believe that an$aran$ovils /agasunai 6sacred tan$7 have been dug

by serpent $ings named 2aduman and angam which has a

miraculous power to heal those who bathe there.

?enerally among Cindus the first boy is named after his grand

father, the second after /ana. imilarly, the first girl is named aftergrandma and the second after /ani .ut in our family their first son

was christened an$ara 3iyah after temple deity 6iva7. !heir first

daughter was named ?omathy another deity of the temple and

temple became our k#la de$ta. !he second son and second

daughter ac>uired the maternal grandfather and maternal grand

motherJs name. I was born at 2attamadai where there is only one

temple of rnivasa 2erumal 6alai7 and hence I ac>uired the name

rinivasan.

O7R O7SE

(ur ancestral house which around 0 years old today at

Kala$ad village was almost at the centre. It was a traditional type

called /alu$ettu comprising + main areas. In front a long

veranda6thinnai7 then a wide passage to go in. (n the side were

two grain or other strong area constructed in wood. !hen the

mittamL an all purpose area open to the s$y in the centre. %ater is

stored around here. eside it is a hall where all functions are held,guest accommodated etc. !here is another store room with a

window to the veranda. !he first passage, wood fitted and the other

storey with window are on the same line and there is an upper

storey where used utensils and grains are stored. !he upper part is

accessed thru a wooden stair case on the side of mittamL. !he


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stair reaches a low ceiling area from where a door opens to

bedroom 6machel7.

3dacent to the mittamL is the wor$ place are where the grains

are threshed, ground etc. 2arallel to it is a $itchen that is accessed

from the hall. ehind the wor$ area and $itchen is a low verandawhere various house hold implements are $ept for ready use. !here

is a *"()IJ as well where utensils are cleaned. %ater storage

vessel of various si@es are $ept in that area. (utside of these is

open $itchen garden with coconuts, neem, muranagai -Morin%a

oleifera tree, vegetable patches. /ot all homes had wells. !here

was one in ours. 3ll other house holds in that street got water from

a common village well a few feet away. In our house the well had

water throughout the year. 3t the end of the $itchen garden therewas a cowshed. !here were a cow and calf in my memory.

FIRST SCOOL 3AYS4

:et me go bac$ once again and try to recapture the childhood

days. I remember my first day at the elementary school at

2atamadai -)amashsheshiar Elementary chool. I went to the

school along with my elder sister. Instead of going to 1std, I went

to the +

th

std along with sister and too$ seat for the whole day muchto amusement of other students and teachers.It was an elementary

co-education school from class one to si#. !he classes were not

separated but conducted in one hall. %e had a te#t boo$ to study

and slate and pencil to write. /o paper or note boo$. !he school

was situated ne#t to the row of houses at the southern end. !he

medium was !amil. !here was nothing spectacular to the school

life. !here was an anniversary celebration when students competed

in several games and winners given pri@es. 3ll the cultural

activities were confined to school anniversaries where pupilsenacted some or other scenes from $nown dramatic plays, s$its

fancy dress and Kolattam 6traditional !amil dance7 by girls. I

donJt remember having received any. Yes, there was one pri@e for

being first in class &ndor 0rdbut not sure. !he pri@e was an empty

in$ bottle.

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3nother event that comes to mind was a magic lantern show,

precursor to film show. 3lmost the whole village was there to

witness it. (therwise it was an uneventful school life.

!he main village deity is lord,2erumal . !he temple was a small

structure right at the ban$ of a rivulet. 3ll in and around thevillagers too$ bath in the stream. In the rainy season water flowed

full swift and fast. !here used to be a temporary mud and thatch

dam to trap water for summer. !he dam gets breached by rain

water. It used to be reconstructed yearly thereafter. !here were

separate bathing ghats for rahmin males and females and other

castes as well

Bour festivals were celebrated in the temple, the F days

/avratri, the inaya$a Ghaturthi, Krishna ayanti and chariotfestival in Dec-9an 6on 1thday of Dhanu month7. !he first was too

modest. !he village streets are divided into F sections and house

holds in each will be contributing to the pooa and offerings for the

evening. !he offerings are both in snac$s and sweets. !hey get

distributed to devotees coming to the temple. (n inaya$a

Ghaturthy it is one common preparation. During the Krishna

9ayanti children go for door to door collection of !il oil 6gingelly

or sesame7 and hand it over to the temple. !he chariot festival isan elaborate one when temple deity is ta$en on a procession. !his

lasts for an hour or so. !hen the deity is transferred into an

elaborately festooned chariot. 2eople drag the chariot. !he chariot

will be stationed at the south end of the village street. !hen after

bursting some fire crac$ers and show of fire wor$s the deity ta$en

down the temple sanctum for last pooa.

(n the festival day a good number of people of all castes and

religion assemble in the village premises, devotees, visitors, traders

peddling wares and entertainment groups etc. ince these peopleare believed to pollute the village and the deity also, a ritual

purification is conducted in the morning after the festival. !hen the

deity is ta$en down to be bathed in the stream before it was ta$en

and installed in the sanctum of the temple.

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OTER E(E*TS I* TE (ILLA1E6

(n another occasion ust days before the chariot festival many

got affected with s$in infections a number of malignant eruptions

all over the body ma$ing impossible to cover by cloth. Cerbal oil

and hot herbal bath every day and confinement at home na$ed.!hus we missed the celebration on that season.

(n those days small po# was common. It is considered to be the

result of curse from goddess "ariamma 6 In "aharashtra the name

is "ari 3ayi7. !here are small temples some with a roof and many

without. Bamilies of affected visit and offer prayers at the shrine.

!here used to be no medical care e#cept a bed of neem leaves. !he

afflicted is left alone in the care of one or two low caste puaries

who invo$e the goddess thru special songs to the accompanimentof hand held drums6-han5ira.7 !his ritual goes on all day till the

patient regain health or passes away. .In our village for that mater

in any village in !amil /adu Kalior Kali 3mman was considered

as the causative force for cholera and "ariwas considered as a

causative force for smallpo#, chic$en po#, mumps and measles

."aari in !amil means rain. ince the rainfall cooled the otherwise

hot area and protected people from summer sic$nesses li$e viral

infections, people started worshipping the rain goddess as "aari3mman.

%henever a small po# affliction is $nown, the house hold and

all others in the entire street vacate them to stay with others, a little

distant from the location. I remember such an occasion when a

whole street on the way to school was barred for wal$ing thru. %e

too$ a long circuitous route, three or four times long.

3t sometimes an official medical team visit the village for sign

of any infectious disease. !hey also vaccinate small childrenagainst po#. elf also was vaccinated ma$ing a couple of round

incisions on each arms. !he vaccinated area swell and body

temperature goes high for a couple of days. !he lacerated wound

ta$es more days to cure and dry out. "odern methods are much

more different and easier.

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AT -ALA-A3

3t my parents village Kala$ad the two events very ha@y is

lingering in memory. (ne was an earlier event, when self along

with the others of family visited an isolated farm house with apond nearby. !he occasion was some auspicious celebration in that

house. I donJt recollect any names or their relation to us. !he place

was a big coconut grove with a lot of other fruit trees. !he house

was big and tiled and had wooden grilled long veranda on two

sides. 3lso there was a parrot in a spacious wooden cage. 3ll other

details are missing from memory.

!he second was again a visit to a smaller farm house. !here

were coconuts and other trees and one hut with thatched roof.!here was a stream flowing on one side of estate and water was

lifted to water the trees and shrubs. 3t a little distance was a shrine

beside a pond with stone steps on all four sides. !he name of this

location eludes me.

!he !amil calendar is punctuated with festivals. In no other

month does the festival mood spreads unbro$en over one full

month li$e "arga@hi. Bestivals li$e inaya$a Ghaturti, Krishna

9ayanti, Dusserah and $anda hashti is of unlimited durationduring the other months.!he month of "arga@h in December is

uni>ue. !he entire atmosphere of our village is suffused with

religious fervour and sanctity that draws people from different

sections of the community. M3mong the months, I am "arga@hi,5

said :ord Krishna in the ?ita. %rapped in shawls or bare bodied,

people oin bhaan groups and go round the streets, unmindful of

the cold and nipping air. %omenfol$, particularly in villages and

small towns, decorate the front yard and the streets with stri$ing

$olams made of rice flour. 6/ow-a-days lime powder is thesubstitute for rice flour7

In the month of "argha@hi, on the day of !hiruvadirai star and

new moon coincide 6also $nown as 3rudhra7 in the !amil month of

"argha@hi 6DecemberN9anuary7, is one of the two stars that have

the prefi# !hiruL signifies arrival of !hiruvadirai,. (n this day of

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!hiruvadirai star, we celebrate the cosmic dance of /ataraa or

hiva. . (n this day all the people worship :ord hiva, the

destroyer of !amasic or evil forces within us and the %orld to

enoy peace and bliss.During 2rayers 63arthi7, haans and

devotional songs, particularly !hevaramL, !hiruvasagamL and!hiruvempavaiL, are ointly sung by all family members. It is a

must that all family members visit a iva !emple, particularly in

the late evening and see pecial 3bishe$am being done to :ord

/ataraa

!his Shai$ate festival *Thir#$atiraiJ is an auspicious day

throughout south India. It is something special in our homes. 3part

from visiting hiva temples the day is celebrated with songs anddance, mainly confined to ladies. !he day comes in the month of

Dhanu i.e. Dec-9an. !he natives prepare and put up swings in their

house compounds. ?irls sing while swinging on them. It is called

Thir#$atira Patt#.!hey train and rehearse for days in advance of

the auspicious day. ?irls and women go singing at very early

morning to have their bath in the rivulet. !his goes on for certain

days. !his apart a special preparation called Thir#$atirai kali,

Thir#$adirai Adai 8simple food made from cereals and 9aggery,with Thlaka -h#2h#!'#8 a type of Kootu made from seven

vegetables,is made ,which is very delicious.

Kala$$ad is home to an ancient temple dedicated to

athyavageeswarar 6:ord iva7. !he other principal deity is

?oddess ?omathi.!he temple is a symbol of anti>uity.It was built

by emperor eeramarthandar.!he )aa$opura of this temple is one

of the highest landmar$s in 3sia, with a height of 100 feet.3ninteresting fact about this temple is that during &,&1,&& days of

"arch and eptember, sunlight will directly fall at the prominent

god of the temple, lord athyava$eeswarar.

1&
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shivahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parvathihttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shivahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parvathi


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3part from male gods, !amil rahmins in village worshipped

goddesses 3mman or 3mbal meaning mother. Every one before

entering the village will give their offerings to theIssaki A!!'al8

a %odess e!owred with ShaktiO a small temple in the road side.

Burther there are Cero stones 6/adu$$al or eera$$al7 . these

stones provided for the males who sacrifice their life for good

causes. ati stones are the stones provided for females who

sacrificed their life for certain specific purpose, especially for

chastity and purity. !his category includes people who lived and

lost their lives for their community and hence their community

members still remember them and worship them. !his group also

includes persons who were $illed by inustice and hence wereworshipped in order to save the village from their wrath. !he

worship for the fallen brave warriors is one of the popular forms of

worship in our village. !he portrait of the hero is often decorated

with peacoc$ feathers. !hese nadu$alsL are now called as 3yyanar

shrines.

!he government or the administration in those days was

represented in the village by a hereditary rahmin officer named3dhi$ari. !here were two uniformed sepoys under him. illagers

report all births and deaths in their family to the 3dhi$ari. It seems

that law and order also was under his urisdiction. "y eldest cousin

sister aged F& still residing there , whom we meet very often ,

says in those days there were no reports of thefts, fights, dacoits or

murder in or around our village. uch reports were from far off

places. In those times marriages were conducted for four days.

!here was such a marriage function at 3dhi$ariJs family and somegovt officers came to attend it in motor cars. !hey were curious

e#hibits to the village children. %e hovered around it all day. 3part

from this one occasion no car came to the village in my memory.

!he village was too close to forests on the slop of southern hills

and one or twice spotted tigers visited the village. 2eople $ept

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themselves indoors after dar$. !here were no street lights around

the vicinity. In monsoon floods in the rivulet people used to see

small forest animals or reptiles struggling to get out of the water.

"any were ust dead bodies. I have not seen any. (nce a python

escaped from the water and too$ refuge in a cow shed. It was $illedand carried away by the 3dhi$ariJs men. It is reported that they

peeled its s$in for selling and collected the fat to brew oil. It was

supposed to be medicinal. !hey call it 23"I/ /EIYL 6sna$e

ghee7 !here were elephants in the forest but not too many. 2eople

were e#tremely superstitious in those days. !hey believed in witch

craft and resorted to it in order to bring bad luc$ or harm to ones

adversaries. "ay be it was considered a law and order problem and

dealt accordingly.

Kala$ad is also famous for lion tailed mon$eys, elephants and

water falls. 6Bondly called as-ar#n%al kasa! and The%ai #rali.7

%omen members in our family were not allowed to go there

because it is located in the forest @one. 3fter my marriage, me, my

brother in law, cousin brothers, and my wife went by bicycles to

!hengai Prali. !his location is a scenic beauty surrounded by

Tha2ha!'# shrub6Kevadaa , Keta$i, Keora in Cindi, crew 2ine

in English7 with its fragrant flowers. "y daughter was fortunate

that right from her infant days she oined me to !hengai Prali

water falls. %e have to go by bicycle for around 0 $.ms from our

house , halt the vehicle in a adoining village and wal$ for half an

hour through the dense forest and thereafter for another fifteen

minutes through a rivulet with $nee deep 6 hi dee to shorter

eole like !e7 waters to reach there. . "y daughter was fortunate

enough see this place as I used to ta$e her when ever I was at

Kalal$d especially during 9une to 9anuary , or during the onset ofmonsoons. %hen my daughter was seven years old , we pluc$ed

!ha@hambu flowers from there and decorated her braided hair,

with it in traditional9adana%a!style and photographed her in a

local studio. !ha@hambu in rahma5s story as a cursed flower.(ne

of the sayings of Ghana$yastresses its pleasant smell4 O ketki

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrubhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahmahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chanakyahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrubhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahmahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chanakya


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flower: Serents li$e in yo#r !idst, yo# 'ear no edi'le fr#its, yo#r

lea$es are &o$ered with thorns, yo# are &rooked in %rowth, yo#

thri$e in !#d, and yo# are not easily a&&essi'le. Still for yo#r

e;&etional fra%ran&e yo# are as dear as kins!en to others.

en&e, a sin%le e;&ellen&e o$er&o!es a !#ltit#de of 'le!ishes#i$alent to 1a''er Sin%h of fil! sholay0 .,will ta$e me.

"y image of Poo&handi had been, one who had matted hair,

brownish, with un$empt beard red eyes and dressed in rags, some

$ind of a cannibal delighted on human meat. 3nother character

whom I was afraid of was 1#d#%#d# Pandi.In my childhood days

I have seen 1#d# 1#d# Pandi8a terrorising loo$ing beggar withlong beard and turban who used to visit every house in the early

morning with an odd instrument in his hand which made sound

li$e *%#d# %#d#+. I was always afraid of this man and when ever I

heard%#d#8 %#d# sound I remained indoors. . I wondered why he

comes in early morning. !he villagers had a belief that he visits

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graveyard in the mornings and comes with magic powers of atan.

If we donJt give him clothes, he will curse us and do harm to us. It

too$ some time in me to get rid of this fear. In those days people

had fear of different $inds. 3ll in good faith but superstitious acts.

!here is nothing more I could recollect about life in these villages./o friendship were $ept and followed in later days. ome times in

ombay I was introduced to individuals from the village. "uch

later I heard of an organisation in ombay made up of people from

the village in my occasional tal$s with my elder brother. y

sentiments he got connected to it. 3ll that is said about earlier will

show that life in the village was uneventful. Everything went on as

per schedule and predictable.

(E3A PATASLA AT -ALA-3

ruti and mrithi are the two authoritative sources of the

Cindu philosophy. ruti literally means what is heard. ?reat

)ishis are said to have heard the eternal truth and left a record of

them for the benefit of the future generations. !hese records are

called the edas. !hey are said to be delivered by the :ord

himself. !his is considered as the primary authority as against the

mrithi which are secondary. !he teachings as well the methodof teaching are uni>ue. It has stood the test of time and ages.

!hese teachings are 3nadi, without a beginning.

In the ancient days students were taught edas by their gurus,

in what was $nown as ?uru$ulavasa. tudents were re>uired to

stay with the ?uru for a few years and learn the edas. edas as

well $nown are mainly for in numbers, namely, )ig eda, Yaur

eda, ama eda and 3tharvana eda. !hese edas are very

elaborate and re>uire a lot of time for a student to learn. )ig eda

re>uires about years, while Yaur eda re>uires about < years ormore to learn. Cence, )ig eda, the most popular eda was ta$en

up initially. !his was followed by Yaur and other edas.

3gama sastras e#plain the procedures and methods of

performing various temple rituals and pooas. 3t the end of the

1=


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th year or so a student became well >ualified in eda as well as

3gama sastras.

In tune with this conviction a eda patasala was established

by my elders with the funding of local philanthropists at

Kala$ad .."y Periyaa fathers eldest 'rother0 and otherlearned edic scholars taught several students edas in that

school. . Young boys in the age group of < to 1 years from the

village and adoining districts were selected and enrolled as

students. !he selected candidates were taught in the traditional

manner. !he course was residential one. /o fees of any nature

were charged by the Patashalafor imparting this study. 3fter

completion of the course a student were re>uired to wor$ at main

temple as part of their practical training. During this period thecandidates were taught other scriptures such as agawad ?eeta

etc

Every day in the evening the villagers mostly rahmins meet

and chant ishnu sharanamman. 3part fromPrasads at the end

the main head of the 2atshalaa used distribute 1N+paise coins. I

remember faintly to have received the same.

!he last one to teach there was my co brother who died of

cancer, Ce taught scorers of students free edic educations , manyof whom are well placed in India and abroad . In these serene and

sylvan surroundings, the chants of edas used to reverberate

throughout the day. In modern times the concept of teaching has

changed rapidly. %ith the influence of the ritish culture and

education systems, this age old scheme of study has become

e#tinct, with the result very few students ta$e up these studies. !his

is purely due to lac$ of creation of proper logistics for the teacher

as well as the students for imparting this great traditional

$nowledge. It has become very difficult for any guru to ta$e up thiscause individually, as maintaining a team of students has of

economic implications. It is difficult to locate students, who are

interested in learning and also there are very few dedicated and

good teachers. 3bove all most of the rahmins in our village have

migrated selling their land and properties and are into other

1


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professions Cence this noble structure today it is being used for

religious functions and meets.

MY PARE*TS

K.. 2arvatham 3mmal died at the age of


19/102

would have been dismissed by her right away even if it did occur

to her.

"y maternal grand mother was the epitome of strength8 her

contributions in educating her sons were noteworthy. /otwithstanding the trauma, pain of arthritis and rheumatism, which

crippled her movements, she managed to educate all her three sons,

who were the first in our family structure to ac>uire a degree. 3s

has been the tradition my mother, the eldest in the family too$ care

of domestic chores. he was e>ually responsible for motivating,

encouraging and supporting her brothers to pursue higher

education though she herself was a primary school drop- out.

3t age of 10, she married my father a edic priest with greataspirations and even greater talents. "y father migrated to ombay

along with his younger brother and was wor$ing as a chief priest of

)am "andir at "atunga, acting as the sole breadwinner of not

only my family but also his brotherJs family. In 1F0, with the

blessings of Cis Coliness 9agadguru ree an$aracharya wamigal

of Kanchi Kama$oti 2eetam, the 3sthi$a sama !emple attained its

full-fledged status by installation of idols of :ord ree

)amachandra, itadevi, :a$shmanan and Canuaman in a speciallycreated ?arbagriha. !he big anyan tree outside the temple is

believed to having fulfilled the desires of the devotees.

ac$ at a time when even a rupee went a long way, his measly

salary as temple priest had to travel that e#tra mile to provide for

1+ people 6me, my & brothers, & sisters, 0 uncles, his brothers

family of 0 persons and 0 of my mothers brothers7 "y mother

managed the family budget with the remittances he made and

managed her family of children meticulously, without resorting

to regular borrowings. . he bought a rental house at 2attamadai sothat her children and her brothers could pursue higher, >uality

education where renowned )ama esha Iyer Cigh chool was

located. he also accommodated two of her family friendJs sons

who had come to ta$e high school education in that house.

1F


20/102

2rior to this, my mother assumed the eldest daughter- in- law of

the oint family, responsible to the fulfillment of the needs and

welfare of her husbandJs parents, some of his siblings and their

children as well. !his role and the new reality that came with it O

she accepted graciously. In return she earned the love and respectof every one in her new family. !he warmth and $indness were

e#tended to her side of the family as well.

!hrough these initial years of hardship this young woman

stood solidly8 encouraging her brothers and all her children to

pursue modern education. 3t the same time she managed to

maintain e>ual chord and harmony in holding closely the ties with

her elderly in-lawsJ at Kala$ad. 3ll this of course, did not mean that she was a mee$ woman.

"y mother was a woman of grit which was particularly evident

during trying situations when $ith and $in became ill and needed

care. he was not the $ind who would be afraid to ta$e care of

several tas$s at once. he never winced at wor$, her own or that of

others, thrust on her. %ith the stewardship of an army general,

marshalling her measly resources, she ran a large house hold of her

own that at times included the e#tended family of relatives andfriends as well.

In the early fifties when my eldest brother completed his :G,

she directed him to shift to ombay, and search for a ob.

3rdent devotees of the )am !emple, who had profound respect for

the Ghief priest 6my father7, helped my brother in getting a

mediocre ob. "y brother was unable to cope up with the tedium,

poise, the stress and strain, of urban life. /or did he e#ude

confidence in his ob. "y father use to receive complaints fromhis bosses who are also devotes of the temple that his son his bland

in his ob. Emaciated, weather beaten, unable to overcome

persecution with confidence my brother returned to 2atamadai. "y

mother continued her sincere tireless, purposeful mission of

arranging for a ob to my brother. he wept at the shoulders of all

&


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and sundries at 2attamaadai, imploring them to arrange for a ob to

his son. . )ecogni@ing, the ordeals of my mother and respecting her

sincere mission, her close friend "rs. 2ahi mami represented my

brotherJs case to her husband "r. Ghellappa Iyer who held a

managerial post in a multinational ban$ at ombay. Ce arrangedfor a servant pass to my brother for underta$ing the ourney to

ombay. "r. Ghellappa Iyer not only used his clout to arrange for

a decent ob to my brother in a multinational an$ but also ensured

that he is at peace with his wor$. In a months time my brother

lived up to the e#pectations of his superiors and his confidence

with the ob made satisfactory progress ,resulting in he being

confirmed into the services of the ban$. %ith the additional

income, of my brother supplementing the family, and sigh of reliefof his confirmation in the ban$ ob my father conserving his

savings dared to buy a tenement under the ombay Cousing oard

allotment scheme at an obscure suburb called Ghembur.3 little

about the then situation at Ghembur. Ghembur was not part of the

city. !here was single line rail connection from Kurla but it was

not connected to main line. !here was no govt. mil$ supply. /o

E! service.

ut still my mother decided to shift her family to ombay.Brugality was a way of life for her. he shifted the entire household

articles, including the *3mmiJ and *3ttu$alJ 6grinding stones7,

carrying me 6the youngest child of the family7 in her arms from

2attamadai to ombay underta$ing the tiresome third class steam

engine travel. In spite of the fact that it was her maiden trip to

ombay she made us at ease through out the ourney. During the +-

day travel, not even a single naya paisa was spent on buying food

from outside as she managed to pac$ home made foods to last the

entire ourney.

In ombay too her day would typically be filled with chores she

did or supervised8 supplying endless cups of freshly brewed coffee

to visitors who came to our house, sending fresh, home coo$ed

brea$fast, lunch and dinner to ust about anybody $nown to her 6if

&1


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they were in need7 and my father. he was always being prepared

to offer food and a variety of snac$s at a momentJs notice to a

stream of visitors, guests that included relatives and my friends.

)ight from cleaning the washbasins, toilets in the early morning,

brooming and mopping the floors, arranging for my fatherJs pooamaterials, cleaning the pooa room, ma$ing Idli batter for ne#t day

in a hand grinder, to sprin$ling bleaching powder in $itchen sin$

and bathroom at night was single handedly carried out by her. In

addition to this her outdoor chores included daily procurement of

>uality vegetables and provisions from the mar$et bargaining for

the *fair priceJ, she decides. he carried the vegetable and

provisions load without escorts or coolies. he developed her own

Cindi-"arathi-!amil dialect with vendors and she was verypopular with them. %henever I used to cross the mar$et along with

her most of the vendors will greet her as *A!!aL. he was a true

intrepid human dynamo, who never ever whispered the word tired.

Cer greatest talent was that she could coo$ a variety of delicacies

for more than 1 people without any assistance during functions

and festivals. Even while attending functions of friends Nrelatives

she would radiate cheer and trespass into their $itchen sei@ing the

initiative from them and with Qlan and ease finish the preparationof food mar$ing that occasion, before the scheduled time. he was

a source of comfort to many families and friends in this regard.

Cer manner was direct. he spo$e her mind. %hen it came to

e#pressing an opinion- and her opinions were sought fre>uently O

her single pointedness came clear. !a$ing on the welfare of others

was rather a second nature to her. In a 0-s>ft asbestos-roofed

housing board tenement she provided space, time, comfort and

inspiration to, my uncles, my cousin brother 6who she insistedshould oin her in ombay for his ob placements7, me and my

siblings and also other relatives. 3ll the members of the large but

closely-$nit family were treated uniformly with e>ual love and

care for each.

&&


23/102

During these years through his own remar$able tale of hard

wor$, tenacity and winning ways without stri$ing compromise on

principles, my father saw that fortunes of my family rose

meteorically as he managed to arrange for a decent ob for my

elder brother also, e#erting his divinely influence on men inresponsible position who can throw their weight.

alancing the saving in the ban$ account he decided to buy an

ownership flat at Ghembur and we moved to spacious house. Even

though her life now was much more comfortable, my mother never

forgot where she came from and remained the same simple,

selfless person that she had been earlier. 3nd this forgiving and

giving spiritL of hers helped many in the community. !ogether withmy father she became a nurturing and guiding force for a new

generation of my nieces, nephews who continue to cherish fond

memories of her.

"y father had an athletic build and countenance that e#uded a

sublime charm and teas. 3 rudra$asha mala around his nec$, a

deep ermillion tila$ on his forehead and a sprawling long $udumi

made him loo$ divinely intense and *teaas. !he family membersand his friends hugely respected him for his sage advice on various

issues and fair pronouncement in matters of dispute.

2rotesting against the frea$ish behaviour, under the guise of good

managements by the managing trustees , who e#ercised disguised

hegemonic control and e#hibited e#pansionist designs in hiac$ing

the serenity of this place , commerciali@ing it ,by planning

installation other idols , against the basic tenets of its founding

obects , to satiate their own greed and personal power "y father>uit the temple ob. Ce loathed commerciali@ation of temple by the

ama authorities. Ce often lamented for performing, *archanasJ,

of the hundreds of devotees in a specified morning and evening

hours against his conviction as he had to ta$e often short cut

routes to please them for he could not chant the full *shlo$asJ of

&0


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repeating each devoteeJs *?othramJ and *na$shtramJ and in whose

name he had to perform. /or did he prefer to earn underta$ing

ritualistic tas$s of the community even though he was much sought

by well-wishers and religious heads in our community, as he hated

commerciali@ation of edic profession. Ce was a great ans$ritscholar, mastering the *?rantham scriptsJ and all edas, slo$as and

hastras. ut he never believed in astronomy and man gods.

During the time my father wor$ed for the temple he too used to

visit home only once in two to three days, as there were no

transport services from Ghembur to "atunga in those days at

0.a.m, which was the time he would return home after performing

the ?anapathy pooaL. Even if he did come home braving allodds, it was too late in the night when he would reach home. 3t

that hour of the day I used to be asleep. Even when he would leave

the ne#t day to resume his duties at the temple, it used to be too

early in the morning for me to be up. Ce would leave early enough

to catch the crowded first 3mbernath local to "atunga, wal$ing all

the way from chembur to Kurla station 60 $.m wal$7 following the

railway trac$ and all the while I would still be asleep. "y father

having been somewhat a rebel himself saw no point in preachingconformity nor did he e#pect from me.

;;;;;;;;;;

I am the youngest of their children. Goming of age in the

*opinion filledJ 1F=Js8 my ideas were shaped by the so called

)adical 6'7 2hilosophiesL. I for one often loo$ed things

differently from my mother, father, brothers and sisters.

?eneration gapL, a catch phrase bac$ then, defined our relation. I

fought to have my way in every thing. I got a decent ob oncompleting my degree 6first in my family7 I pursued trade union

philosophy instead a building a career in the an$. I was mostly

away from home and I used to visit my parents as per my sweet

will and desire. !o my surprise my mother never opposed

vehemently, my life style but was worried that I missed good home

&+


25/102


26/102

tree. I am told that theJ thottil+6cradle7 which had swinging cribs or

"thooli"6 - a hammoc$ that5s hung from the ceiling rather than a

stand. to help the baby sleep, also called in India as ?hodiyu or

ghodiya pronounced it as H?od-yuH7was swinging continuously

li$e oneJs heart beat or as the a%niof that sacred, serenea%nihothri+s house for many years. !hat his last son completed his

?raduation in Birst Glass Conors brought the much awaited cheers

in their otherwise not so blissful life. Ce came to ombay in search

of a ob and got a good placement because of their blessings in a

multinational pharmaceutical firm. Ce stayed with us till his

marriage to my 2eriyappaJ first sisterJs6 my ?Athai


27/102


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yo#r life than !o#rn yo#r assin% away@ Yo# will &onstantly

re!ain in !y tho#%hts@ I will !iss yo# tho#%h Ma ?

(n the occasion of the first death anniversary of my close friend

harmaOa friend par e#cellence, while inaugurating the "adhuram3pplam factory, which he launched, designed and wor$ed for it

wherein harmaJs mother 6a replica of my mother7 , a native of

!hrvaiyar , the place where the carnatic classical maestro

!hyagaraa was born and lived. O participated, shared the dias,

overpowering her emotions and tears, a new reali@ation was

dawned on me, as I &o#ld see !y !other in her. 6

Though the merciless fire consumes mortal remains, the

intrinsic, inane, human qualities and love of a mother andtheir memory engraves in our heart for eternity- as

Mothers do not expire. They inspire.

3fter my mother death my father went through bouts of

depression for a prolonged period. %ith me migrating to /erul

separating from the oint family soon after the marriage, others in

my house employed, he felt too lonely in the house. i# years after

my mother death i.e. during 9anuary 1FF& he died of paralyticstro$e li$e my mother. I was with him through out his period of

hospitali@ation doing three shifts, as I did to my mother, and he

died, before my eyes li$e my mother, with none of my family

members around. Ce was very happy and proud that I was

nominated as the Director of the ban$ representing wor$men by

the ?overnment in 1FF1. ecause of this elevation, seeing me

dropped by the an$sJ vehicle during oard "eetings, finally, he

appreciated my consistency in union wor$. . During the period of

his hospitali@ation before going to coma stage he was in profusepraise for the principles I hold in union and social life. , above all

being helpful to others in times of need, albeit the fact remains, I

did not raise to his e#pectations neither spiritually nor materially.

OTER MEM)ERS OF MY FAMILY

&A


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"y eldest brother was the first oin my father at "umbai.

taying in theAsthika Sa!a5temple premises itself along with my

father and my uncle he was fortunate enough to get a decent ob in

a multinational ban$ with the contacts of my father. Ce is thefatherly figure to all us, a perfect disciplinarian, and too$ care of us

very well. Ce had good handwriting and was good at map

drawings. Ce had a penchant to diari@e important facts and events,

such as salaries handed over by my uncles, and co-brother who

was staying with us, monthly budgeting for provisions etc,

including recording our mar$s in the e#aminations in his diary. Cis

map drawings in my primary school days were treated as models

by the class teachers. Ce is today retired from his services and wellsettled.

"y elder brother had a singular privilege of continuing his

studies at 2attamadai and Kala$ad. %hile all of us came together

to "umbai as e#plained earlier, he refused to get admitted in

"umbai schools. oon after his high school studies he got a ob

through my father Sa!a5 contacts in a ?erman petrochemical

comple# . !oday he is retried and well settled. Ce has ta$en tospirituality and does our traditional morning and evening pooas.

"y eldest sister did not complete her high chool. ut a the end

of every academic term during my primary school days, she copied

notes of my close friend and that of 6they were in different

sections7 my sister who were two years senior to me in her

beautiful handwriting and offer to me in silver platters for me to

mug in advance before the commencement of the ne#t year. During

every monthly test or >uarterly e#aminations she used as$ me>uestions form her written notes and test my proficiency in studies.

eing the first marriage in our family, her marriage was

performed with pomp and grandeur with the a!a5 se$aks

swinging into action in reverence to my father. ut she had a

&F


30/102

disturbed married life. 3nd her children and she stayed with us

away from my brother in law for many years. 3fter my schooldays,

reconciliation was struc$ and my brother in law constructed a

house at Ghennai. eing a victim of bad traits succumbing to the

temptations of becoming rich overnight he lost his fortuneincurring huge debts and he wal$ed into debt trap from which he

could not e#tricate himself and his family. I was constrained to

buy their house through my staff housing loan scheme to bail them

out and my three nieces who were in their school days. I renovated

and constructed a first floor with great passion,with my ban$ loan

ta$ing two months leave , staying with my close friend at

Kalpa$$am , nearly 1 $.m from the site. I use to ta$e up the

first bus around +.a.m from Kalpa$$am, after supervising theconstruction wor$, and arranging for bric$s and other constructions

materials, paying the contractor his dues, use to return bac$ to

Kalpa$$am mostly ta$ing the last bus from Ghennai by

11.p.m..%hen brother-in-lawJs debts reached astronomical levels

and he plunged his family into debt trap, soon after my three nieces

completed their college studies, I brought them bac$ to my house

at "umbai, selling my house at Ghennai, where they lived for a

pittance in 1FAF. !hereafter all my niece got a decent ob. I andmy brothers arranged for marriage of two nieces. (ne niece fell in

love with person of other caste, her office colleague and I too$ the

responsibility of performing her marriage, when she was ostraci@ed

by other member of my family for deciding to get married to a

person from other caste, daring all odds. !oday they are well

settled. %hen the news regarding my brother in lawJs death

reached us, none went to conduct his last rituals. I too$ the flight to

Ghennai, along with my last niece and after performing the

obse>uiesJ of my brother in law, I went to the lodge he was staying.I stumbled upon a ?ovt. 2ension 22( and with my contacts

ensured pension for my eldest sister. . Brom there on she has been

drawing a decent pension, with revision after every pay

commission at Ghembur, I( branch and leads contended life

today.

0


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"ost of my schooldays were spent with my elder sister. !hough

she completed her =th std. at our native place, she was admitted to

+th standard by the school at "umbai. he found it e#tremely

difficult to cope up with English, Cindi and "arathi, being broughtup in !amil medium in the native place. he used wor$ed very

hard in her studies, along with the household chorus of assisting

my mother. I remember up to my F th standard she used to comb

my hair, put vermillion on my forehead, smear my face with

powder , and carry my bags to the school bus,despite the fact that

she was only three years older than mine. he preferred ob after

her school days though I was goading her to continue her college

education soon after I oined the college, citing e#amples andsuccess stories of many who attended to morning 3rts colleges

along with their wor$. Bortunately I could wor$ out alliance for her

with my own office colleague. !oday she is well settled. (ne of her

daughter is married and the other one has lucrative ob in a private

an$ and is in the verge of getting married.

MY SOCIO8 POLITICAL E37CATIO*

%ell supported by my best friend from my school days who

was wor$ing as a 9unior cientific (fficer at ))G , Kalpa$$am in

pursuance of our social mission, I wor$ed with villagers in

Ghengalput district , tribes of /ilgiirs, and with the te#tile wor$ers

at "umbai, setting up various organi@ations along with my

progressive li$e minded close $nit friends .. !hrough periodic

discussions which often stretched to late nights, our thin$ing

became radicali@ed and e#panded its hori@on. . "uch of my earlier

understanding on literature, culture, heritage, tradition, religion,society and politics were upset forcing me to review them. I was

also attracted to attend political meetings held in and around

"umbai. 3t the wor$ place I had a radicalised well read colleague

with communist leanings. I became active in all political

movements in "umbai at that time attending all the programmes.

01


32/102


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on between communists and Kuomintang. )anadiveJs thesis

envisaged and advocated a similar civil war in India. 3ll these

brought govt action banning the party in several provinces but not

in ombay 2rovince. till the party was not wor$ing so openly. /o

meetings could be held e#cept on "ay Day and /ovember < i.e.(ctober )evolution in )ussia. 3nd finally another communist

party emerged out of a division within the Gommunist 2arty of

India6G2I7, in 1F=+. During Kerala :egislative 3ssembly elections

of 1F= the party had adopted the name 5Gommunist 2arty of India

6"ar#ist75 in order to obtain its election symbol from the Election

Gommission of India. (nce again in 1F=< the G2 further split and

6G2I-":7 was formed which gained a strong presence among the

radical sections of the student movement and intellectuals. 3llthese reading had a profound effect on me.

ecause of the concern shown by te#tile activists to their ust

cause and also combined with my own convictions, I too$ more

and more interest in not only in te#tile stri$e actions of 1FAJs but

in communist ideology as well. ut me and my close friends did

not ta$e membership of any factions of G2. 3 few leadings

activists of many mass organisations in "umbai used to meetusregularly at first but some of them became defunct a little later due

to no programme of activities. "eetings became occasional and

informal. 2eople connected with all these activities recognised me

as a mature activist. I was able to e#press my thoughts both in

English and Cindi though haltingly. "ost of my e#perience was in

spea$ing to small groups of people and not in a meeting where

people of other persuasion may be present. !hough, mass meetings

were held from time to time I myself refrained from spea$ing due

to difficulties with language. (nly after getting involved in tradeunion activities, I started spea$ing to bigger audience.

MY MARRIA1E 6

ecause of my association and identification with communist

party activities, my family people were concerned that I going out

00
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communist_Party_of_Indiahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communist_Party_of_Indiahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communist_Party_of_Indiahttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communist_Party_of_India


34/102

of the folds of the rahmanic traditions and he might bring home

some or other non-rahmin bride. 3t that time i.e. in early AJs I

was not thin$ing of contracting any marriage rather I was $een to

get more $nowledge of ideology and activities to bring social

changes. Cowever, there were irritating moments in my relationwith family members at home. !o resolve the tension I offered to

my parents that they are free to find and contract a girl of their

choice, whom I will marry. !hen I went to Kala$ad on leave. I

found a girl of my choice from our own orthodo# family. I did not

worry about any thing at all and spo$e to my parents who approved

the same.

!he marriage too$ place on (ctober 01, 1FA= 6 Indira ?andhiJs

assassination day 7 at my own Ghembur residence and food wasserved at my close friends residence in the adoining lane - a place

which I can rightly call it as my first house , where I spent prime

of my life. !he arrangement was to economise to the utmost.

(nly members of the two family, countably finite close friends

participated. !he two families reached the place a night before the

day and ceremonies were over by afternoon ne#t day. 3ll too$ a

train two days later to go bac$ home. "y eldest maternal uncle, - a

post graduate in "athematics and ans$rit, a rebel in :IG ,renowned for e#posing :IG *s policies in pseudonym names in

news papers, was $ind enough to ta$e my relatives to ombay

sight seeing. oon after my marriage I separated from our oint

family at Ghembur to $ic$ start life at /erul , that time an obscure

developing place at /ew "umbai, much to the an#iety and

disappointment of my parents especially my mother. I remember

the day I decided to brea$ away from oint family, ust carrying

an old utensil of my mother for memories sa$e and buying a pair

of mats and pillows while catching the bus to /erul in the night .)est of utensils and other need based household items , gas,

cupboard , mi#ers, grinders, !, etc and furniture were met by me

from my measly savings and staff loan scheme of the ban$ over a

period. .

0+


35/102

3 little about the then situation at /erul at that time. !here was no

rail connection. /o E! service. 3s more and more wor$men

came to stay at /erul and they started mingling the idea arose to

organise a association to demand railway line and E! services. .

%hen ma$ing connections with people in the formationassociations, it was found that among those who came forward,

many were inclined to fight for common causes, irrespective of

their political moorings. 3 few were committed activists in various

mass movements. (ur demands were heard with sympathy and

action was promised.

It might be in order if I ta$e pause to summarise my life e#perience

up to that time."y brahmanical bac$grounds and beliefs were more or less intact

during my school and college days Cowever, all daily rituals li$e

sandhya vandanam and gayatri apam were discarded not

voluntarily but out of circumstances. isiting temples on

auspicious days continued, lasted for a few days. I was orthodo#

enough with no thoughts of >uestioning it. !he >uestioning came

to mind as I went on reading all $inds of boo$s. (ne of the boo$s I

read was philosophical wor$ by GE" 9oad a ritish socialist of thetime. !he title I do not recollect today. It discussed e#tensively

about god the (mnipresent 6sarvavyapi7 (mnipotent 6sarva

sha$tan7 and (mniscient 6all $nowing7. (ur own concept was

same. 9oad e#tensively analysed almost the entire implications of

those concepts and thru logic and reasoning refuted them all. !here

were no need for churches, mos>ues and temples if the god is

omnipresent. !here should not be any calamities or evil if the god

is omnipotent. !here are no needs for prayers and rituals since, the

god is all $nowing. !here were much more arguments and detailsin that boo$. I was impressed by all these. !his gave a new insight

to my ans$rit readings and thin$ing on it. pecifically the /yaya.

!he /yaya philosophy does not recognise a god as such.

Everything was considered as a matter of consisting of 3nu, earth,

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water, air and space. /yaya also recognised eda as one authentic

evidence along with other cognitives.

"ore and more of such thin$ing turned mind from gods,

religions and rituals. %henever, I read articles or boo$s affirming

god and religion, my response was to thin$ reasons for theirrefutations. "an should depend upon himself to attain anything in

the process of living. 3ll men and women are e>ual and the

difference in religion, castes and gender is illogical and false. (ne

should overcome all such differences and cultivate the approach of

e>uality. 3ll my later encounters and understanding of communist

ideas or ideology were in conformity to my denunciations of god

and religion. In due course of time I was able to e#press those

ideas in discussion with others. I never thought that my thoughtsand $nowledge are complete or sufficient and therefore I went on

collecting a number of boo$s as well as lot of oviet, Ghinese

publications in English. I went on reading more and more on

social-political >uestions, history, science topics and classics.

ome are namely )amayana, "ahabharata, hagawata boo$s on

Ppanishads and philosophy. I was reading "ar#, EngelJs, :enin

and talin and a lot of communist literature.3long side I went on

to red glimpse of !he Cindu philosophy which has si# separatebranches or systems in 1. "imamsa. &. an$hya. 0. /yaya-

aisheshi$a. +. Yoga. . edanta and =. :o$ayata. /one of them

recognise a god as popularly conceived and accepted. In "imamsa

the idea of an 3purva that is not e#actly a god. !here is a good lot

of "imamsa literature that argued against the vedantha. am$hya

has a 2urusha that is e>uated with god or 2aramatma by later day

philosophers. /yaya-aisheshi$a accepted veda but not the

thoughts of edanta. till later day philosophers brought it in line

with edanta. edanta has no god as such but an all pervading3tma or 2aramatma. Yoga has no philosophy as such but later day

commentators made it an adunct to edanta by ma$ing yoga as a

way to e#perience spirit or atma. :o$ayata is in denial of all the

earlier five but we have no authentic wor$s in e#position of this

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philosophy e#cept for bits and pieces >uoted by opponents of

lo$ayata.

!hough many of my mass organisation activists as$ed me to leave

my ban$ union ,so that I can be resourceful devote full time andbe active in the union for unorganised formed by us, as a precursor

to oining G2 faction, I did not do so.

MY 7*IO* ACTI(ITY6

(n 1A.0.1F


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many battles for them. %ith this bac$ground, many in my union

were loo$ing forward to me as one dedicated and true comrade

who can ta$e the fight to the other camp.

During the !rivandrum conference, in 1FA&, when one of theactivists in the opponents camp was hit by the ceiling fan in the

train and was profusely bleeding , I pulled the chain, ran ahead of

the engine , shouting slogans and stopped the train in motion and

ensured that he as given first aid by the railway authorities. !his

act of mine tilted four more votes in my favour and I went on to

become 3sst. ?eneral ecretary of the union and continued in that

position till 1FF1. In 1FF1 I was co-opted as ?eneral ecretary

6acting7 in the vacancy arising due to resignation of then ?eneralecretary and in 1FF& was elected as ?eneral ecretary in the

first conference I presided over and submitted my first ?

report. . !wice I was nominated by our Pnion on oard of

Directors to represent wor$men. 61FF1 and &07.

%ith sheer determination, guts and honesty my team in

nascent days in "umbai gave new dimension to the definition of

leadership. I ac>uired basic $nowledge of an$ing, :abour :aws.%e had the tenacity, capacity to wor$ for hours together and

never say die attitude. %e made others comfortable to wor$ with

us. 3nd even when things didn5t go the right way, our sangfroid

saw it through. "y commitment to application came with an

altogether different dimension of emotional capacity Oempathy

for fellow men.

%hile not engaged in trade union wor$ and political activities, I

loved to tal$ out problems with my colleagues , followers, andclose friends , be they domestic, office or any others cropping up in

society and the community. Gric$et, Bootball, Coc$ey in outdoor

ports, huttle adminton, !able !ennis, Garrom in indoor sports,

!re$$ing, ?ardening, Goo$ing, short story writing, other writings,

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researches in specific subect from time to time, surfing net

continues to hold my interest.

!he multitude of papers presented by me in international

seminars was acclaimed by the participants. .Gontrary to otherunions report I use to wor$ very hard to come with, informative

circulars and voluminous ?eneral ecretary5s reports in every

conference which has reaching impact on the trade union map of

our country

%hen I loo$ bac$ at the path that I have had to traverse all these

years in the union I feel immensely satisfied that we have been

able to contribute, though in a very small measure, to the healthygrowth of the trade union movement in our ban$, under the banner

of 3ll India (verseas an$ Employees5 Pnion. !he ourney that

started in "umbai in the year 1F


40/102

In Ghennai I found an understanding, caring companion in

Gom.:.alasubramanian, who successfully steered our union out

of the difficult period of early nineties. I had long innings with

him. %e have batted together in all weather foul or fine. %e

endured the test of time. %e have been comrades in armsrecogni@ed as $aria'les '#t inseara'les. %e have tried to be

discipline soldiers. %ith our hands free, with no fetters, observing

self discipline was all more important for us. . Ce has been a true

inspiration and a role model for me. ut for his un>ualified

support I would not have had the measure of success in the

discharge of my duties and responsibilities as the ?eneral

ecretary. %e girded our loins, printed our weapons and sallied

into negotiating tables often and imbibed again again of thedynamic law governing strategies and tactics and the chemistry of

victory, while redressing grievances of members at ban$ and

industry level .

/ot withstanding the pangs of hunger , the wrac$ing torment of

the bodily pain due to fre>uent trips and tours, relative

discomforts of lodges and ourneys, away from my sweet hearts at

the family all the time, the ferocity of my burning soul, livid at theinustice of the absurd situations of I3N ?overnment combine in

vice grip of I"BN% directives who e#ercise remote control of

wage free@e, down si@ing, outsourcing etc. in every negotiations,

I undertoo$ strenuous tour of all southern states and some in then

north, east ,west north east , despite my frail health and our

organi@ational preoccupation. I addressed meetings in my own

style, drawing rapt attention of the overflowing members in all

occasions and built confidence among the general ban$ employees.

I have the privilege and distinction visiting over !""" ranches in

I#$ in the length breadth of the country, a good record, and

could establish contact with union wor$ers at the grass root level ,

in the process was fortune enough to $now understand India *s

heartlands and its toiling people.

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I was adept in handling domestic en>uires, defended scores of

employees in the disciplinary proceeding, pic$ing holes in the

charge sheet, drawing strategies in cross e#aminations , referring

to scores of court cases in law ournals and carved out niche that

a case entrusted to me is life restored and well insulated in thecomity of unions and ban$ employees.

"any people believe in courage of their connections, but I believe

in the courage of ones convictions. 3nd this courage of ones

convictions theory alone propelled me and superlative confidence

alone sustained me in the dar$est moments.

efore I bring the shutters down of my union wor$, I would li$eto reproduce what )avi ubramanian, the author of *I ought the

"on$Js BerrariJ, shared with his readers, which touched his heart.

It was written by his colleague, who on reading his first boo$, If

?od was a an$erL, came up to him and pulled out a crumpled

paper from the depths of a folder she was carrying. he said to him

that she had written this poem a few days into her first ob.

ometimes in my mind, a thought does dwell,Cow does one live life well'

)eligion, status, money and fame,

Is one taught to play this game'

%ith scruples to $ill, for all that is nice,

Does honesty really pay a good price'

affled, IJm sure, you may feel,

!his winding road to get uphill.

Conour and pride are all yesteryearJs charms,

/ow it is one after the other, out to harm,

Cumanity for sure has ta$en a turn,

I bet, ?od himself is saying %hat have I done'L

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Each one is out to beat the rest,

%ith morals and values put to test,

Cow much is true, who is to tell,

?odJs heaven on earth is turning into a hell.

ut life is short and its end is certain,

ItJs all in the rise and fall of a curtain,

3nd, when it is time for you to pass,

2repare for the >uestions that Ce might as$.

- /eomi :obo

!his poem, however, is a sad commentary on what people

actually end up doing in their pursuit of success. Engulfed in our

desperation and dauntless enthusiasm to ac>uire name and fame,

we often tend to pay no heed to scruples, conscience, morals,

values, honour, prideR the traits that ma$eth a human. uccess at

the cost of humanity is not worth fighting for. It is not something

which you deserve and it will not stay with you forever. 3t some

point or the other, it will desert you and you will never again get anopportunity to own one in your entire life.

!he most derogatory thing about time is its infinite capacity to

generate the moment. !he most profound thing about time is also

its capacity to reconstruct the past. Every thing in my life as a

trade union leader in particular is a $aleidoscope of time,

inspiration, memories, pains, e#hilarations, e#altations and

ecstasies, achievements and failures all brac$eted as nostalgia. I

will be approaching the @ero hour of union activities shortly. Ipropose to dawn new avatar, bac$ to teaching college students up

to graduation level "aths to $eep me preoccupied. . If I had not

already left a message, by my thought and deeds, dedication and

devotion all through my 0 years in the union movement to my

members Othen I have no right to leave a message today which

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could come from my heart at the fag end of my trade union life. .

!he greatest tribute my union could pay me and our fraternity is to

maintain healthy traditions and continue to march.

I note with satisfaction that our union has today grown byleaps and bounds, and is in the vanguard of every struggle

launched by ban$ employees. "any things have been done by our

union for betterment staff .but w had loo$ed beyond the normal

portals of union world of immediate demands and issues of

members alone and has strived to contribute for the betterment of

society underta$ing community development proects and social

proects form time to time. 3mong many things we have done for

members and society, I will considerone lactree planningprogramme which we undertoo$ in five southern district spending

)s+N- la$hs partnering with IC3 foundation,- 2roect-?reen

Cands, commemorating unionJs diamond ubilee, and

regulari@ation of over one thousand casual laborers engaged by

he ban$ for prolonged period with low adhoc wages, into

permanent employment through a historic settlement I will

consider as significant.

%e have had a generation of men and women who founded a,

nurtured and nourished this organi@ation in its inceptive days from

whom we have come to enoy the use of vast hoard be>ueathed to

us and transmit to future I( men that hard augmented by fresh

ac>uisitions. %e and our predecessors have in the process met

inevitably many trails and tribulations but enoyed the fragrance of

success and happiness. 2erformance and insight and vision of our

predecessors have stood the test with our signing praise of them

whenever we meet our goal and perspective in the union isalways geared to this end. %e have dared and while daring we

have ta$en songs and sorrows with e>uanimity, not resigning to

static happiness of human fossils who have succeeded in avoiding

unhappiness and pain it is our tradition ageless and eternal. I am

indebted them. I owe my success to them.

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45/102

some of its finest leaders departed and will do so even without the

best of you. imilar shall be case with 3ll India (verseas an$

employees Pnion. :et no one mista$e it. IJve learned a lot along

the way from my peers, superiors, and subordinates ali$e. ome of

the best pearls of wisdom are the most simple and many came fromsome of unobtrusive members. Every one of my members has

contributed to who I am today. ecause of them, I have achieved

much more in life that I ever had a right to e#pect, and have

become much richer in spirit. !hey are also the reason that me and

my family that I loo$ forward to the ne#t chapter of our lives, with

no regrets and with every e#pectation that your nurturing

friendship will continue.

%e peopling the present at least some of us commit the error of

thin$ing and tal$ing of our inheritance from our forefathers. (ur

traditions and ourselves. :ittle do we reali@e that besides this we

have a commitment to stand before the bar of future as borrowers

from our children O posterity. once we reali@e this we would reali@e

also our responsibility to the future both immediate when we

ourselves would be reapers of what we do presently and distant

when our posterity will udge our performance as borrowers from

them I was conscious of this and not allowed myself to fettered

with fi#ity of views .

Goncluding I confess that I am unable to resist the temptation of

indulging in certain musings.

(ver the years I have passed in the union, the days we have

preserved together with good and evil fortunes without the

slightest wea$ening of our will power or division of our strength,over the days which we entered into without doubting the cause

and upon a single spontaneous impulse at the call of the hour, over

the days we strove and struggled at thereby. :oo$ing bac$ on the

insurmountable perils which we had passed through and at the

mighty as well as measly foes we met fought and laid low we are

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brimming with confidence that we have no fear of future. Buture is

chalice of opportunity. It bec$ons us. !he union shall march ahead

without flagging, flinching or swerving. !he union in its onward

march as hereto shall before e#pect no reward, see$ no profit,

stri$e non compromise. Its activities once again shall be udged byfirst its convictions and then by posterity.

(n the dar$er side, I nurse a feeling that I could not inspire,

develop any successors manifesting my thought my thought, deeds

and actions in the union. !he following unforgettable words of

)aya2id )ista!i8 a s#fi eot reminiscent of !y restless life is

echoing today in my hearts while I am planning to wither awayfrom my union activities shortly.

!he ufi aya@id says this about himself

?I was a re$ol#tionary when I was yo#n% and aI !y rayer to

1od was6

BLord %i$e !e the ener%y to &han%e the world.+uest hitch trips through lorries or other

vehicles in the highway to go my place . !here are times I have

wal$ed form ashi to /erul if I got a hitchhi$e upto ashi which

much developed . Even the stray dogs at /erul became friendly tome. on seeing me at late nights they started wagging their tails

follow me to my house and stopped bar$ing at me.

It all seemed natural to me at that time. !here might be other

reasons for her pose. Bear, un-certainty or other. Cowever, for too

long a time she did not show an inclination to $now what were my

public activities, their importance or significance. It might be

mutual. I did not ma$e any effort to initiate her to be a partner in

all activities. I have no clue today for what has turned out to be,considering the fact that I am ideologically convinced and

committed to gender e>uality and participation of women in all

public activities on e>ual footing. Even without an ideology as an

ordinary conventional husband I should have ta$en her into

confidence and instilled a $ind of confidence to $eep her

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communicative. /either I tried to find nor she showed any desires,

aspiration and or demand. %hat she tal$ed about were that of

ordinary domestic chores or occasional visits to relations. I

wonder today how she coped with tas$s of bringing up my

daughter through school and then college. /one were part of tal$sat home. he might be nursing strong grievances that I cared less

about how our daughter fared in their day to day affairs. %hen she

came, she was new to city. In the GIDG( condominium where we

stayed, the language of communication was mostly Cindi that was

foreign. ut I was ama@ed that she pic$ed up Cindi very fast and

was e>ually good in communicative "alayalam too which she

pic$ed up from my close, caring neighbours. During the late

eighties, we had our ?uarat conference. !hose days there were nowritten nominations for elections in advance - the concept we

introduced during our regime, and nominations were called on the

floor during the conference. %hen I came to $now that the

regional, parochial, political outfit which was in the power in the

state , had planned to stop me reaching ?uarat to facilitate their

mass organisation in the ban$ to capture power, by force, I too$ a

bus two days before our scheduled programme to ?uarat. %hile

opening the door, since our house was not inhabited for manyyears, till we stepped in, the door caved it. ut I left the house

informing the neighbours to ta$e care of her and she remained

without the main door in the house for wee$. 3t that time our

marriage was only + months old. !hat bespea$s of her grit as wells

her agony.

%hen my wife developed labour pain, fortunately I was in

"umbai. "y mother in law and my friend admitted her to the

nursing home in Ghembur .on receiving the phone call reached

there. "y wife was there in the labour room. "y mother in lawwas feeling nervous. !he doctor advised us that the delivery will

ta$e some time and we have to stay overnight. ince my mother in

law had trac$ record of two still born babies, one infant death after

three months, and three abortions, believing in superstitions

re>uested me to relive her.

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%hile restlessly waiting I was e#periencing butterflies in the

stomach. I was ittery too. I thought child birth happened ust li$e

in the movies. I even pictured myself standing outside the

(peration )oom while my wife gave birth. I thought the nurse

would come and show me my baby in the endL ut it turned out tobe an e#citing e#perience to me which I am mentioning in this

narrative . "y wife was very nervous in the labour room and

cried out my name for help. eeing her plight the doctor called me

to her cabin and told me husbands do have to ta$e an e>ual part in

child birth and bringing up babies and as per their nursing home

policies they allowed husbands in the labor and delivery room if

the wife desires for natural and cesarean deliveries. Cowever if

potential complications occur during the process , I may be as$edleave the labor room .Burther these encouraging words of my

doctor I donJt isolate wives during delivery, as it is a very

traumatic time for them. If you are a husband, you must support

your wife at this critical time and not be afraidLmotivated and

encouraged me

eing in the labour room with your wife is probably the most

important thing you can do for her. I will never forget the day my

daughter was born. It was an an#ious wait in the delivery room. I

believe it is very natural for every man to feel nervous when he

enters the delivery room not $nowing what to e#pect for the first

time. 3s for me, I too$ my wife to the hospital as soon as her water

bag bro$e. I had a lot of mi#ed feelings, being an#ious and happy

at the same time.

%hile waiting for our gynaecologist in the labour room, my wifebegan sweating and I could sense that her pain was becoming

intensely stronger. 3s an ine#perienced first-timer, I did not $now

how to help her. I held her hand and told her to stay calm and not

to worry. 3fter the doctor came in to chec$ my wife and unborn

baby, the nurses started to prepare the room. !he doctor gave

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specific instructions to my wife4 5Don5t waste your energy. Do not

simply push and waste your energy.5

I otted down in memory everything the doctor had said so I could

help her through labour. %hen my wife $ept shouting and tellingme that she was in tremendous pain, I tried to calm her down.

!hen, I noticed that her legs were sha$ing while she was trying to

push the baby out.

3t this point, I was afraid my wife could not withstand the pain, as

she had not ta$en any pain$illers. "y biggest fear was that she

might collapse or fall unconscious and this could lead to other

complications.

!hough it was chaotic, I wanted to be in the delivery room because

I wanted to support her. !he birth of my baby was definitely

something I wanted to witness because it was important to me.

Cowever, the biggest challenge was pretending to be calm in front

of my wife when I was actually feeling very tense the whole timeS

I $new I had to be calm and collected in order to encourage her tobe calm as well.

!here was such e#citement when I first saw my baby5s hair and

head. I $new she was going to be out soon. In my heart, I wanted

to hold her tight and to give her my first daddy $iss. It was an

ama@ing e#perience indeed. I could feel the power of life and hope.

!he proudest moment was when my daughter was born. I was also

very proud of my wife for all the hard wor$ she had put in as well.

In fact, it motivated me to wor$ hard for my familyS It was a verynovel e#perience for me. eing in labor room for the first time in

my life and seeing a baby com alive to this world was a

privileged e#perience me. I saw my daughterJs struggle to be born.

"y daughter was born on the iaya Dasami 6Durga 2ooa7 day, on

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0-F-1FA< e#actly one year after my marriage. ince she had

sharp, bright eyes we named herJ DivyaJ.

!hereafter to wor$ a common thread of commonality of mutual

interests, I started involving myself with subect of her choice.

3part form assisting her in the household chorus such as coo$ing,

washing utensils etc, we do regular oint readings during our spare

time in spiritual boo$s, and boo$s on yoga, acupressure and uo$

therapy 6 hand foot treatment 7. 3 huge collection boo$s I have on

these subects he did her diploma c

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Amedned Mr Restless