10 Simple Ways to Strengthen Friendships for a Lifetime - Goodlife Zen

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10 Simple Ways to Strengthen Friendships for a

Lifetime

A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you

have become, and still, gently allows you to grow. William Shakespeare

If it wasnt for friends, I would have never survived some of the most difficult moments in my life.

When I was going through one of the most challenging and painful events in my life after a divorce, it was

friends old and new that came to the rescue and saved not only the day but my sanity!

Friends were there to give me advice and a perspective on my life. Friends were there for strength and

courage. They were also there for laughter and encouragement. I now realize that friendship is tested during

lifes tough moments and become strengthened when facing and overcoming adversity.

While I am not seeking more problems in my life merely for the sake of nurturing friendships, Ive found that

we can always deepen and strengthen our relationships with others.

Here are ten ways to encourage stronger relationship with your friends:

1. Be more conscious of your friendships

Sometimes we are so busy with life and family that we forget that we have friends. We need to be aware that

the friends in our lives wont be there forever. Although they may be just a neighbor or classmate today, it

mple Ways to Strengthen Friendships for a Lifetime - Goodlife Zen http://goodlifezen.com/2013/03/04/10-simple-ways-to-strengthen-f

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doesnt mean they will be tomorrow. Be aware that the people you spend time with as friends is the first step

in building stronger relationships.

2. Dont take friendships for granted

Dont forget that friendship is a choice, not an obligation. If you dont value your friendships, theyll

eventually disappear.

In todays hectic world, we are constantly on the go. If we ignore our friendships, they drift away until oneday we wonder what happened to the people who were so important in our lives.

3. See how you can help a friend in trouble.

Theres no better time to be a great friend than in times of hardship and trouble.

You dont have to solve the problem but you can be a shoulder to lean on, someone to share a meal with or

help with an errand.

Often, friends who are experiencing hardship dont reach out for fear of imposing on others. I was fortunate

that many of my friends made the effort to reach out to me and ask how they could help.

4. Find ways to make their lives better

You dont have to reach out to friends only during times of hardship. Find ways to add value to their lives. If

theyre busy with a project and could use some babysitting time, offer to help. If they work long hours, drop

off or pick up their children, run errands or surprise them with a home-cooked meal.

Find ways to help your friends and they will be truly grateful but even more appreciative of your

thoughtfulness.

5. Spend time with friends

This may seem like a no-brainer but when was the last time you spent some quality time with your friends?

Again, this goes backs to taking friendships for granted in our lives.

Understandably, the demands of work or family consume most our time. Our daily lives may be an endless

to-do list but it is always possible to set time aside for friends. Block off time or day of the week for friend

time!

6. Communicate with them regularly

In addition to not allocating enough time to spend with friends, lack of communication also affects your

friendships.

In a world where technology makes it so easy to communicate, reaching out to a friend nowadays requires

only a quick text message, brief email, phone call or visit.

Be proactive in keeping in touch even its just to say hello and see how theyre doing.

7. Encourage their dreams.


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When friends are lost, confused or seek your advice, listen and help guide them. Many people in life are quick

to shoot down someones dream or passion, but without goals or dreams our lives become a meaningless

existence.

Share your passion to inspire others and see what a difference it makes to your life and theirs. If youre

seeking to strengthen a friendship, try to provide valuable and constructive advice.

Even if you think your friends ideas are a little out there, help them navigate the pros and cons of their dream

without shooting it down.

8. Make friendship a priority

We spend time on the relationships that matter to us. Never having enough time is not an excuse. When you

say you dont have enough time, what it really means is that you dont have enough time for friendship.

We are burdened with often too much in our lives but if friendship is important to you, make it a priority.

When you make friendship a priority, you empower yourself to say no to other less important things in your

life and elevate the value of friends in your life. Always remember that jobs, issues and problems come and

go. Its always friendships that transcend the routine of daily life.

9. Overlook their shortcomings

Friends might upset you or anger you because of their characteristics, mannerisms or behavior. If they are a

good long-term friend and you value the relationship, overlook their shortcomings.

Regardless of race, color or creed, people are people. We all have our positive and negative qualities.

As difficult as it may be sometimes to overlook an annoying or unpleasant shortcoming, learn to accept it for

the sake of your long-term friendship with the person you value.

10. Limit expectations

Many times when friends anger or upset us, it is usually because of unrealistic expectations.

We expect friends to thank us for kind gestures, to call us on our birthdays or remember our important events.

In the real world, however, friends make mistakes and dont always do what you think they should.

The easiest way to ruin a friendship is to allow this kind of attitude to get out of hand. Stop expecting people

to behave the way you expect. In fact, reducing expectations or demands of friends will reduce potential

disappointment in them.

Good friends are hard to come by so value the friendships you do have and they will last you a lifetime.

What have you done to maintain your friendships? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

About the author

Vishnu writes about career, life and spirituality tips for his community of world-changers. For inspiration, sign

up to receive weekly posts atvishnusvirtues.com

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{ 2 trackbacks }

Link Salad Putting More Life in Your Day | Thriving is Better

March 10, 2013 at 5:33 am

Forget Forging New Friendships; Nurture the Ones You Got (a guest post)

March 10, 2013 at 10:29 pm

{ 32 comments read them below or add one}

1Tommy March 5, 2013 at 11:04 am

i like this post. With Social Anxiety i realized theres nothing worse then not having friends to encourage

and love.

Reply

2VishnuMarch 5, 2013 at 12:00 pm

Thanks Tommy. We all benefit from our friendships but nurturing and maintaining them, we

usually dont take the time to do. These are some of the ways Ive maintained my friendships

over the years.

Reply

3THANDIMarch 5, 2013 at 12:43 pm

i would like to thank mary about this 10 simple ways to strengthen friendship,there are no people like

your best friend who stick with you through thick and thin

Reply

4VishnuMarch 7, 2013 at 7:39 am

Thank you for reading. Yes, our friends are the ones who stand with us during lifes most

challenging moments.

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Reply

5Dr.P.Amrutha March 6, 2013 at 1:21 am

I am very happy to know many things. Thankyou very much.

Reply


Thanks for reading.

Reply

7Celeste SmuckerMarch 6, 2013 at 6:54 pm

For me this post is a great reminder not to take our friends for granted, and to make friendship a

priority. That means taking time to stay in touch, stopping by regularly for a chat, inviting them to join

me in an activity and/or remembering them on their birthday. It is so easy to just assume theyll be

there, or to call on them only when we have a problem or a concern they can help with.

Thanks Vishnu for your post.

Reply


Thanks Celeste yes, we take not only friendships but sometimes all important relationships in

life for granted. Making friendships a priority will ensure we work on those relationships that

really matter to us. And yes, with strong friendships, youll have the people in your life you can

call at 4 a.m.

Reply

9Chris AkinsMarch 9, 2013 at 1:51 am

Vishnu,

Great insights. Friends are indeed important, and its not about the big things you do for friends. Its

about consistently doing the little things that strengthen the bonds of friendship.

One of my best long time friends started our friendship by helping me move out of my house when I

was getting a divorce. I did not know him well at all at the time, though we were both officers in the

Navy and he had just joined the command. I was very appreciative of his help. But what sealed it for

me was that after the move, without me knowing, he went to his house and packed up a bag of


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groceries, and brought them over to me because he knew I did not have any.

From that day on we became great friends, and despite the fact I am in the US and he has been serving

overseas in Europe and now in Japan we are still great friends.

Chris

Reply


Thanks Chris thats an inspiring story about friendship and how a couple small acts of kindness can

spark a lifelong friendship. I think he made your life better and was there for you during a real time of

need.

The fact that you nurtured and continued that friendship is whats inspiring. Why make a whole lot of

new friends when we can appreciate and nurture the ones we already have.

Friendship is the gift that keeps on giving. Thanks again for sharing your story and highlighting theimportance of little things in strengthening friendships.

Reply

11HitenMarch 11, 2013 at 8:43 am

Hi Vishnu,

Wonderful post, indeed!

What you wrote in your post is spot on. I could definitely resonate with the point you made about

making effort to maintain and nurture our friendships. I also agree that not having time for friends is

really an excuse. Yes, we are busy people but we can always make time for our friends.

Im off to give a friend a call, now! Thank you.

Reply


Glad you enjoyed the post Hiten. It takes us some time to make the friends we do have, why not

try to keep them? Good friends are hard to come by. Yes, call your friend theyll be thrilled to

hear from you Im sure

Reply

13MiloMarch 11, 2013 at 11:50 am


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Wise words Vishnu, and an important reminder in the digital age where we are all connected, but it is

still somehow possibly to feel lonely and separate from other people, especially for those who work at

home or remotely.

I also think there is a rush to make new connections online but people often dont take the time to see

the real person behind the number and take time to get to know them in any depth.

Real friendship requires the willingness to be vulnerable and open, and in the midst of busy, demanding

lives it is not always easy to open ourselves up in this way to others.

Reply


Thanks for your comment Milo! I completely agree. Yeah, forget the numbers (online and offline

haha) Focus on the quality of the friendship, not the quantity. 100 people arent going to show up

to help you fix your bicycle tire when youve broken down on the side of the road 1 or 2 are

We do not realize that being vulnerable and open is really the key to strong friendships. IF welook at the ones in our lives, the strongest one are where we are the most open. Thats a good

additional tip on maintaining stronger friendships more vulnerability and openness. The people

who accept you for who we are are the friends worth keeping. Appreciate the comments and

your friendship Milo!

Reply

15RazwanaMarch 11, 2013 at 5:09 pm

Item 8 strikes a cord with me, and applies to everyone in my life. Making time for them as a priority isthe only way I can ensure the friendships that matter are being nurtured in the way they should be.

After all, we chose them to be in our lives, right?

Nice job Vishu!

- Razwana

Reply


Thanks for your thoughts Razwana. Interesting we do chose them to be in our lives but so many

people often dont prioritize them. Glad you do and glad you nurture the friendships that matter.

Friendship is the gift that gives for a lifetime!

Reply


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17Sandra PawulaMarch 12, 2013 at 4:58 am

I like the idea of encouraging your friends dreams! You have reminded me of the value of reaching out

and communicating with friends more regularly. Thank you!

Reply


Being there for your friends with their dreams and life ventures is a sure way to improve your

friendship with them. Yes, reach out and call a friend or two today

Reply

19JammieMarch 12, 2013 at 1:06 pm

Too often I have been guilty of #2, and havent done #6 and #8 enough. I often wonder why its easier

to keep in contact with/be nicer to the stranger you have just met than to your closest friends and

family. This article has been a great reminder to me of what I really should be doing. Thanks!

Reply


Hey Jammie yup, we all tend to take friends for granted sometimes. If we consciously think

friendship is something valuable and we want more of in our lives, we should spend more time onthem. Glad you found the article to be a good reminder. Heres to better friends!

Reply

21Ntathu AllenMarch 12, 2013 at 3:47 pm

What a breath of fresh air and such a timely reminder, to me, to nurture and reconnect with friends. As

a busy mum it is too easy to get caught up with our/my childrens lives and neglect caring for

friendsnow that my girls are olderyoung adults, I finding the time to reconnect and revisit

friendsand my life is definitely richer sharing it with my friends. Thanks

Reply


Glad you liked the post Ntathu and found it to be a timely reminder. Sometimes just consciously

thinking about friendship will help us become better friends with the people weve known a

lifetime. Yes, our lives are richer with friendship!


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Reply

23Galen PearlMarch 12, 2013 at 9:44 pm

I commented on your blog about two friendships I have lost to time, but maybe Ill just give one of

them a call right now and see what happens.

Reply


Hey Galen yes, do:) hopefully youll be able to rekindle these long-lost friendships. Thanks for

your comment.

Reply

25Wendy IreneMarch 13, 2013 at 3:09 pm

Vishnu, I loved this post about friendship. Life is busy and it can be really easy to neglect our

friendships. Ive been hosting a girls night every other month to keep close to some of my local friends.

With running in all different directions with our kids if we dont set aside time together life quickly

passes by. Thank you for your inspiration!

Reply


Glad you enjoyed the post Wendy and sounds like youre trying to keep up your friendships with

your girls nights. Its hard to maintain our friendships unless we prioritize them and put our time,

energy into them.

Reply

27JennieMarch 13, 2013 at 7:41 pm

Be a GREAT Listener. I am reminding myself this more than anything else. What I noticed about

people is the lack of listening skills. We have 2 ears but only 1 mouth and should use them

proportionately! Since you dont see your friends/family everyday when you get together LISTEN to

what they have been going through in their life. Take your time talking to people, connect with them,

and be sensitive to their feelings, wants, and needs. Be Engaged! Stop using your latest gadgets

I-phone, itouch, or crackberry etc

Reply


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Yes, listening can probably dramatically improve our friendships more than anything else. I think

the best friendships are when both people are able to express themselves to each other equally.

In addition, simply being more present and caring for them also will improve our friendships.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and adding to the discussion Jennie.

Reply

29Cathy TaughinbaughMarch 14, 2013 at 1:31 am

Hi Mary and Vishnu,

Wonderful post here! I love your list of tips. Life can get busy, but its those close friends who will be

there for you when the going gets rough. Time can get away from us, but good friends are worth the

effort.

Reply


Yes, they are Cathy! Friends are there for the good times but we really need them for the rough

patches along the way. Thanks for your comment.

Reply

31Corinne RodriguesMarch 14, 2013 at 11:36 am

Took a while getting here, Vishnu, but Im sure glad to have read this. I value intimacy allowing the

other person to see the real you in a friendship.

I love the part about encouraging your friends dreams. Great post!

Reply


Glad you made it Corinne and appreciate your feedback. Vulnerability and supporting a friend

are two key ways to have solid friendships.

Reply

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about mary jaksch

Mary:

I'm passionate about supporting people who want to lead a happier and more

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10 Simple Ways to Strengthen Friendships for a Lifetime - Goodlife Zen