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Day #5 of 8

What is grief?Part 2

Day #5 of 8

What is grief?Part 2

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The Psychology of Love & Loss“What is Grief?” Part 2

Day #5 of 8

Loss & Change:The impact on one’s identity

(John Stephenson & Erik Erickson)

The effects of life-change related stress

(Thomas Holmes & Richard Rahe)

• John Stephenson: Phases of GriefPhases of Grief

• Erik Erikson: Identity FormationIdentity Formation

Readjustment Due toLoss of & Change in a

relationship:The Impact on One’s Identity

• Reaction

• Disorganization & Reorganization

• Reorientation & Recovery

John Stephenson’sPhases of GriefPhases of Grief

• Shock• Numbness• Bewilderment

in particular to the newsin general to the universe

• Crying• Strong and quick mood

shifts

REACTIONREACTION

• Despair

• Unfocused thoughts

• Former patterns of behaviorexamined, abandoned, changed

• Loss of a sense of self, loss of one’s identity, loss of one’s mind

DISORGANIZATION DISORGANIZATION & &

REORGANIZATIONREORGANIZATION

• Activities are reorganized• A change in the relationship

with the deceased• New avenues for creative living• A new identity independent of

the relationship once had with the deceased

REORIENTATION REORIENTATION & RECOVERY& RECOVERY

Erikson’s Two-Erikson’s Two-StepStep

Identity FormationIdentity Formation• Crisis: actively exploring alternative ways of being

• Commitment: selecting one way as part of one’s identity and excluding all others

Identity StatusCrisis Commitment

Diffused No NoForeclosed No Yes

Moratorium Yes NoAchieved Yes Yes

Erikson’s Two-Erikson’s Two-StepStep

Identity FormationIdentity Formation

Identity StatusCrisis Commitment

Diffused Reaction & Disorganization

Foreclosed Reaction

Moratorium

Reorganization

Achieved Recovery

ERIKSON & ERIKSON & STEPHENSONSTEPHENSON

Review one year of your life in terms of

Holmes & Rahe’s43-item Social Readjustment Rating Scale (SRRS)

OUR “NO HOMEWORK”

Life Change Event# of times in the one

yearX the LCU’s

Retirement  X 45

Change in health of family member

 

X 44

Pregnancy  X 40

Gain of a new family member  

X 39

Business readjustments  

X 39

…and the camel’s back, next.

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THE RESPONSE OF OTHERS

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THE RESPONSE OF OTHERS

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THE RESPONSE OF OTHERS

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The Narcissistic Response

“Ring Theory”…from The Los Angeles Times

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Page: A26

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TWO BOOKS FROM OUR LIST

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41. Stephenson, J.S. (1985). Death, grief, and mourning: Individual and social realities. New York: Free Press.

This work is the primary resource for information regarding the phases of grief, and these three phases take up only 10 of the 290 pages. John addresses the topics of death, grief and mourning with reference to academic research, diverse theories, literary descriptions, and first person accounts. This is a weighty work, but accessible, and it offers the type of understanding that increases acceptance.

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21. Kelly, L. (2000). Don't ask for the dead man's golf clubs: What to do and say (and what not to) when a friend loses a loved one. New York: Workman Publishing Company.

The title of this one allows you to reliably judge this book by its cover. Lynn has done a great service with this work – a copy of which I once loaned out, and I trust it is still changing hands somewhere even today. One woman whose husband had recently died found this book to be a great comfort in coming to terms with some of the distressing visits she received.

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The End.

May all our hearts

enjoy the benefit of

tender loving care.