Title: A quantitative and qualitative assessment of

mature passionate love

Anne J. Woodward BA (Hons.) in Psychology

Swinburne University of Technology

Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for Professional Doctorate in Counselling Psychology

Date: February 2003

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Love is not an "affect" but an active striving, the aim of which

is the happiness, development, and freedom of its "object". This passionate affirmation is not possible if one's own self is crippled, since the genuine affirmation is always rooted in strength. The person whose self is thwarted can only love in an ambivalent way (Fromm & Funk, 1997, p. 186).

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Table of Contents

Title i Quotation ii Table of Contents iii List of Tables x List of Figures xii List of Appendices xii Declaration xiii Acknowledgements xiv Abstract xv Execute Summary xvi CHAPTER ONE: Introduction 1

Initial definitions 1 Why Study Love? 2 The Study of Love - Current Status 3 The Current Study 4 Domains of interest 5 The process of the current investigation 5

CHAPTER TWO: Conceptualisations of Love and Passionate Love 7 Psychoanalytic Theorists 7 The Early Theorists 7 Freud 7 Major ideas 7 Evidence 10 Strengths and weaknesses 11 Jung 11 Major ideas 11 Strengths and weaknesses 12 Evidence 13 Reich 13 Post Freud 14 Erikson 14 Fromm 15 Humanistic Psychologists 15 Rogers 16 Maslow 16 Major ideas 16 Strengths and weaknesses 18 Evidence 18 Conclusion 18

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Table of Contents (Continued) CHAPTER THREE: Empirically Based Love Theorists 20 Rubin 20 Tennov 21 Sternberg 21 Hazan and Shaver and Attachment Theorists 23 Lee 25 Criticisms of Lee's approach 26

Hendrick and Hendrick 26 Major theoretical ideas 26 Strengths and weaknesses 27 Evidence 28 Hatfield and Her Colleagues 28 Distinctive characteristics 28 Definitions 29 Major theoretical ideas 29 Evidence 30 Strengths and weaknesses 31 Conclusion 34 CHAPTER FOUR: Passionate Love Research 36 What is passionate love? 36 Definitions 36 Ambivalent Findings on Romantic and Passionate Love 38 Incidence of Mature Passionate Love 39 G-factor 42 Biology, Hormones and Attraction 43 Love as an Attitude Involving - Emotions, Behaviour and 44

Cognitions Love and the nature of emotion 44 Love and behaviour 45 Cognition and love 45 Conclusion 45 The influence of Culture and Gender 46 Culture 46 Gender 48 In sum 49

Companionate Love - Non -Sexual Elements of Loving Relationships 49 Companionate Love - An Appropriate Term? 49 Affection and Enthusiasm 50 Openness/Trust and Communication 51 Engagement 53 Caregiving 54 Conclusion 55

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Table of Contents (Continued) CHAPTER FOUR (Continued) Personal Maturity 55 In Sum 57 Eroticism, Sexual Arousal and Sexuality 58 Sexuality 58 Attraction 61 Passion and Intimacy 62 Eroticism 63 In Sum 64 Spirituality and Mysticism 64 Definitions 65 Religion 65 Spirituality 65 Mysticism 66

Spirituality and Religiosity in Intimate Relationships and Marriage 66 Sexuality and Religion 68 Passionate Love and Mysticism 69 Sexual Mysticism 70 In Sum 71

Conclusion 72 CHAPTER FIVE: The Theories of Erich Fromm and David Schnarch 73 Erich Fromm 73 Relationship of Fromm's Theory of Love to Previous Love Theories 73 Main Theoretical Constructs 74 Love and its relationship to Western capitalism 74 Neurotic love 74 Mature erotic love 75 The link between love and spiritual attitudes 76 Strengths and Limitations of Fromm's Theories 76 The relationship between the types of love 76 Rich theoretical base 76 Love and sexuality 77 Writing Style and Evidence 77 Conclusion 79 David Schnarch 80 Relationship of Schnarch's Theory of Passionate Marriage to 80

Previous Love Theories Major Theoretical Constructs 81 Passion and eroticism 81 Intimacy 82 Spirituality 83 Wall socket sex 84 Interdependence 86 Strengths and Limitations of Schnarchs' Theories 86

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Table of Contents (Continued) CHAPTER FIVE (Continued) Evidence Regarding Schnarchs' Conceptions of Love 87 Conclusion 87 Integrated Analysis of Fromm and Schnarch 88 Statement of a positive goal state 88 Specification of processes that lead towards the attainment of a goal state 88 Explanation of love/relationship strengths and deficiencies in individual and societal terms 88 Sufficient domains 89 Agreement between theorists 89 Conclusion 90 CHAPTER SIX: Study One 91 Overview 91 Generation of the Item Pool 92 Measurement Format 92 Content Adequacy 92

Preliminary Testing 93 Expert Opinion 93 Assessment of Mature Passionate Love 93 In sum 97 Administration of Survey 1 97 Participants 97 Religiosity 98 Materials 98 Passion self rating 99 Qualitative questions 99 Religiosity 99 Social desirability 99 Data collection 100 Snowball 100 Students 100 Media 100 Internet 100 Response rate 101 Item Reduction and Refinement 101 Preliminary Screening 101 Screening Data 101 Sexual activity 101 Normality of the data 102 Factor Analytically Based Item Removal 103 Phase One of Factor Analysis - Item Removal 103 Example 105 Rotation 106 Reliability 106

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Table of Contents (Continued) CHAPTER SIX (Continued) Phase Two of Factor Analysis - Refinement of the Item Pool 107 Extraction 107 Rotation 107 Number of factors 107 Results and Discussion 108 Factor Analysis Phase One 108 Indices of the Strength of the Factor Analytic Solution 112 Factor Analysis Phase Two 114 Data Screening for Multivariate Outliers 120 Uniformity of Sampling 120 Relationship Among the Variables 120 Construct Validity 122 Qualitative Data - What is Mature Passionate Love ? 122 Qualitative Data - Peak Experiences 125 Companionate love type experiences 128 Transcendent/mystical peak experiences 130 Sexual/passionate peak experiences 131 Folk theory versus the theories of Schnarch and Fromm 132 In sum 132 Limitations 133 The 62 Item Version of the Assessment of Mature Passionate Love 133 Conclusion 135 CHAPTER SEVEN: Study Two 136 Overview 136 Validity 136 Method 138 Participants 138 Religiosity 138 Return rate 138 Measures 139 Mature passionate love 139 Qualitative measure of peak experiences 139 Positive and negative emotions 139 Love styles 139 Passionate love 140 Maturity of love 140 Religiosity 141 Relationship generosity 141 Relationship health 142 Personality 142 Psychological adjustment 143 Sexuality 143 Social desirability 144

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Table of Contents (Continued) CHAPTER SEVEN (Continued) Procedure 145 Data Collection 145 Results 147 Data Screening 147 Descriptive Statistics 147 Multivariate Outliers 147 Practice Effect 147 Reliability of Other Measures 148 Factor Analysis of the Passionate Love Items 150 Item Removal 150 Transformation of Items 151 Factor Solution Comparisons 151 Transformation of Outliers and Skewness of the Derived Factors 152 Sample Differences 154 Gender Effect 155 Factor Analytic Process and Results 155 Reliability of the AMPL2 156 Cronbach's Alpha 156 Mean Interitem Correlations 157 Test Retest Reliability 158 Validity of the AMPL2 158 Convergent and Discriminant Validity 159 Incremental Validity 162 Social Desirability 165 Other Results 165 Sample Skew 165 Relationship of AMPL2 to Demographic Variables 166 Relationship of AMPL2 Factors to Measures of Spirituality 167 Replication of Factors Between the Studies 168 Peak Experiences 169 Correspondence 172 Social Desirability and Idealisation 175 Maturity of Love 177 Conclusion 177 CHAPTER EIGHT: General Discussion 180 Rationale for the Study 180 Insufficiencies of Scales Developed So Far 180 Lack of Empirical Work on Longer Term Love 180 Love and Passionate Love Theory 181 The Theories of Fromm and Schnarch 181 The Research Process 182 Preliminary Work 182 Study One 182 Study Two 183 Quantitative Findings 184

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Table of Contents (Continued) CHAPTER EIGHT (Continued) Reliability 184 Validity 184 Construct validity 184 Incremental validity 185 Qualitative Findings 186 Folk Definitions of Mature Passionate Love 186 Peak Experiences 186 Spirituality, Religion and Sexuality 188 Integration of Qualitative and Quantitative Findings 189 Findings Relevant to Schnarch and Fromm's Theories 190 Methodological Issues 192 Limitations 194 Skew 194 Social desirability 194 Heterocentrism 195 Measurement Difficulties 195 Measuring differentiation or maturity - an elusive process 195 Threatening construct content 196 Extreme nature of the construct 197 Sampling Difficulties 197 Reluctance to be involved 197 Skewed data collection process 197 Further Limitations 198 Incomplete scale development 198 Further Development of the Scale 198 Future Research 198 More samples 198 Comfirmatory factor analysis 199 Longitudinal research 200 Application of the Scale 200 A Comparison of Current Findings and Conceptualisations to Bergner's Theories 201 In sum 203 Other Research Needed 199 What is Mature Passionate Love? 200 Findings so far on the Nature of the Construct 200 Limitations of the Hatfield Model 204 In sum 206 Relationship Relevant Summary of Findings and Theoretically

Based Propositions 206 Final Definition 207

Conclusion 207 References 210 Appendices 232

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List of Tables STUDY ONE 1. Principles of Passionate Love from the Work of Fromm and the Item Numbers Generated for Study One 94 2. Principles of Passionate Love from the Theory of Schnarch and the Item Numbers Generated for Study One 95 3. Descriptions of Hypothesised Domains 4. Origin and Frequencies of Returned Questionnaires 101 5. Results of Factor Analysis for Affection Factor 108 6. Results of Factor Analysis for Differentiation Factor 109 7. Results of Factor Analysis for Engagement Factor 109 8. Results of Factor Analysis for Enthusiasm Factor 110 9. Results of Factor Analysis for Eroticism Factor 110 10. Results of Factor Analysis for Openness/Trust Factor 111 11. Results of Factor Analysis for Transcendence Factor 111 12. Results of Factor Analysis for Social Desirability Factor 112 13. Factor Analysis Results for Eight Factors 112 14. Intercorrelations Among the Factors 113 15. Large Phase Two Factor Analysis Results 116 16. Reduced Phase Two Factor Analysis Results 118 17. Meaning of the Derived Factors 119 18. Reliabilities and Correlations Between the AMPL1 Factors 119 19. Correlations of AMPL1 and Derived Factors with Demographic Variables 121 20. Married Once Versus Married Twice Bias Demonstrated on AMPL1(Total) and Passionate Love Factors with Means, Standard Deviations and Independent t-tests 122 21. Defining Characteristics of Mature Passionate Love from Qualitative Questions 123 22. Qualitative Peak Experiences Categories and the Numbers Endorsing Them 126 23. Peak Experience Bias Demonstrated on AMPL1(Total) and Passionate Love Factors with Means, Standard Deviations and Independent T-tests 127 24. Significant Differences Between Peak Experience Groups Found for AMPL1(Total) and Its Factors 128 25. Post Hoc Tests Showing Significant Differences Between Reported Peak Experience Categories and Those Not Reporting Peak Experiences 129 26. Items Used for Study Two 134 STUDY TWO 27. Summary of Scales and Sub-scales 145 28. Origin and Frequencies of Returned Questionnaires 146 29. Means, Standard Deviation, Range and Reliability of Scales and Sub-scales 149 30. Factor Loadings for Five Factor Solution of the AMPL2 153 31. Descriptions of Five Derived AMPL2 Factors 154 32. Means, Standard Deviation, Range, Skew and Kurtosis for the AMPL2 and its Factors 154 33. Intercorrelations Among the Factors of the AMPL2 156

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List of Tables (Continued) STUDY TWO (Continued) 34. Reliability Among the Factors and the AMPL2(Total) 157 35. Correlations of AMPL2(Total) and Derived Factors with Existing Measures 160 36. Correlation of AMPL2(Total) and Derived Factors with Demographic Variables 166 37. Correlations of AMPL2 with Measures of Spirituality 168 38. Peak Experience Categories with Examples 170 DISCUSSION 39. A comparison of Current Findings and Conceptions to Bergner's Theories 202 APPENDIX STUDY ONE 40. Table of Means and Skew 249 41. Sub-sample Bias Demonstrated on Passionate Love Factors with Means, Standard Deviations and Independent t-tests 260 42. Correspondence Between Qualitative Concepts of Mature Passionate Love Described in Qualitative Answers and Passionate Love Items 261 STUDY TWO 43. Factor Loadings for Three Factor Solution 300 44. Comparison of Three Factor Solution with Other Measures 301 45. Factor Loadings for Two Factor Solution of the AMPS 303 46. Reliability Among the Factors and the Full Scale of the AMPS 303 47. Intercorrelations Among the Factors of the AMPS 303 48. Correlations of the AMPS and Derived Factors with Existing Measures 304 49. Derived Passionate Love Items for Further Research 311

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List of Figures 1. The Kinds of Loving as Different Combinations of the Three Components of Love 22 2. Scree plot of overall factor solution 114 3. Representation of passionate love constructs and measures, with reference to personal strength and personal deficiency 164

List of Appendices A. Study One Questionnaire 232 B. Facets and Domains of Passionate Love 242 C. Study One Articles 245 D. Table of Means and Skew 249 E. Computer Printout of Three Factor Analytic Solution with 42 Items 254 F. Sample Comparisons 258 G. Comparison of Qualitative Characteristics of Mature Passionate Love and AMPL Items 259 H. Study Two Questionnaire 263 I. Media Coverage - Printed Version Only Study Two 285 J. Three Factor Solution 300 K. Two Factor Solution 302 L. Five Factor Solution Computer Printout 305 M Comparison of Samples 310 N. Items For Further Research 311

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Declaration I declare that this report does not incorporate without acknowledgement any material submitted for a degree in any University, College of Education, or other educational institution; and that to the best of my knowledge and belief it does not contain any material previously published or written by another person except where due reference is made in the text. I further declare that the ethical principles and procedures specified in the Swinburne University Psychology Discipline's document on human research and experimentation have been adhered to in the preparation of this report. Name: Anne J. Woodward Signed_____________________

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Acknowledgements

I was extremely fortunate to have two superb supervisors. Both have been generous,

skilled and helpful. Dr Bruce Findlay is always a terrific sounding board when I am

nutting something out. He is good on the stats and has a broad knowledge of

relationships research. He has been extremely patient, especially with my

innumerable factor solutions. Professor Sue Moore has a vast knowledge and

experience which have been a great resource for me. Sue is an inspiration. Both

were very kind when the going got tough and I thank them both sincerely.

My dear husband has been my greatest teacher of passionate love. Thanks for all the

encouragement and support during the doctorate, for sharing your life with me, and

for the flowers and perfume over the 26 years - you old romantic. Thanks to my

splendid children for their patience and encouragement - and sorry about the topic.

My dear friends Sally Carless and Helen Morton have been wonderful. Special

thanks Sal for the advice on psychometrics as well. Also thanks to Malenka

Polkowski, Irene Gerrard and George Matalanis for helping me through all this -

where would I be without you?

My counselling clients have taught me an immense amount about relationships, life,

love and loss, it is a great privilege to do this work. The teachers at Swinburne

University have been knowledgeable, helpful and approachable. Also my

counselling supervisors have been tremendously encouraging, wise and

understanding.

I would like to thank all those who answered the questionnaire and shared their very

private stories with me. It has been a real privilege and I am deeply grateful. I

would also like to thank the people who distributed questionnaires for me, especially

Ann Park and Christine Borgeest. The academics who advised me, the neighbours

and the friend who helped with the pilot, and many others have helped in large and

small ways. Without the selfless efforts of all these people, none of this would have

been possible.

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ABSTRACT

The theories of Fromm (1962) and Schnarch (1991, 1997) were used to

develop items for a scale measuring mature passionate love, the Assessment of

Mature Passionate Love (AMPL). Passionate love was conceptualised as involving

the seven qualities of affection, differentiation, engagement, enthusiasm, eroticism,

openness/trust and transcendence. In study one, 187 participants gave qualitative

descriptions of the important characteristics of mature passionate love and this

provided support for these seven- hypothesised domains. Items representing these

seven domains were factor analysed separately. Then, these items were pooled for

factor analysis, fielding a three-factor solution: Affectionate Engagement,

Transcendence and Eroticism. The second study involved factor analysing data from

298 respondents to produce a 31-item version of the scale (AMPL2) which included

the factors of: Affection/Arousal, Differentiation, Sexual Openness, Trust and

Transcendence. The AMPL2 was reliable and its correlation with other passionate

love and relationship scales provided evidence of validity. Respondents reported

mystical peak experiences in love and sex in both studies, which were consistent

with Schnarch's (1991, 1997) and Maslow's (1970) theories and case studies. This

research challenged Hatfield's (1988) notion that passionate love usually gives way

to companionate love, a more friendship based love. The AMPL2 measure was

developed with a sample that was extremely in love, limiting its generalisability.

Therefore, the scale would benefit from further development with a range of

samples. However, preliminary evidence suggests that passionate love can usefully

be conceptualised more broadly than it has been in the past, by including non-sexual

and transcendent sexual qualities. This broader conceptualisation may better

represent qualities valuable to longer term and older lovers. The place of mature

passionate love in relationship resilience and satisfaction could then be researched

and discussed and constructive models of mature love developed.

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EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

The line from the song Nature Boy: "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is

just to love and be loved in return" suggests how fundamental loving another is, to

human fulfillment. Yet despite its importance, how love and passionate love unfold

over time, and their influence on the resilience and quality of long-term relationships

is poorly understood.

This research project involves an exploration of the nature of mature

passionate love, and the qualitative and quantitative measurement of it. Schnarch

(1991, 1997) and Fromm (1962) provided the most satisfactory theoretical basis for

this research since their work emphasised emotional, sexual, and passionate

connections and a comprehensive understanding of the nature of mature love. Items

were generated for a measure of mature passionate love on the basis of these

theories. Expert opinion and feedback from a small pilot sample led to refinements in

the items produced, resulting in a 153-item scale.

Two studies were then undertaken. Data collection was similar in both

studies - involving snowball sampling, requests through the media and students from

Swinburne University. In the first study, only mature lovers, between the ages of 26

and 75 were involved. Of these, 68% were women. The respondents were on

average 45 years old and in a relationship for 21 years. The respondents of the first

study (N = 187), described peak experiences in love or sex and the important

characteristics of mature passionate love. Secondly, they responded to the 153 items

based on the theories of Schnarch and Fromm. Seven domains were hypothesised to

constitute mature passionate love and these were: affection, differentiation,

engagement, enthusiasm, eroticism, openness/trust and transcendence. Items thought

to represent these domains and a number of relationship social desirability items

were reduced in number using factor analysis as well as conceptual and empirical

criteria. The seven derived factors and the social desirability factor were each

reliable and unifactorial and totalled 61 items. In the second phase of factor analysis,

the items of the derived factors were pooled. A three-factor solution was the most

satisfactory, with Transcendence and Eroticism maintaining their factorial

independence. The other factors of Affection, Engagement, Enthusiasm, Openness

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/Trust combined into a large Affectionate Engagement factor and the Differentiation

factor cross loaded and tended to have very weak factor loadings. Without the Social

Desirability factor and the low loading and cross loading items, a 42-item scale

labelled Assessment of Mature Passionate Love Study One (AMPL1) was produced.

However, it was decided that all 61 items plus one filter item (which asked whether

people were sexually active) should be retained for the second study because the high

mean inter-item correlation indicated the chosen items may have been too similar in

content. The domains of mature passionate love derived from the qualitative data

were largely consistent with the seven-hypothesised domains. The peak experiences

surprisingly included mystical experiences in love and sex, consistent with

Schnarch's (1991, 1997) notion of wall socket sex (a mystical sexual experience) and

Maslow's (1970) concept of the sexual peak experiences of highly developed people.

In study two, 298 independent respondents graded the 62 items and other

related measures in reference to their intimate relationship, in order to assess the

reliability and validity of the derived measure. This sample was more broadly based

than the sample in study one, and comprised participants aged 17-82 and in a

relationship ranging between a few weeks and 57 years. Respondents were 36 years

old and in a relationship for 12 years on average. Seventy percent were women. The

responses indicated that participants were generally extremely passionately in love

with their partners (even more so than in study one). This degree of skew was

problematic for scale development since the questions did not discriminate well

between people. Factor analysis along with statistical and empirical criteria was used

to reduce the number of items. The most satisfactory solution in terms of content

was a five-factor solution: Affection/Arousal, Differentiation, Sexual Openness,

Transcendence and Trust. This was a 31-item measure labelled AMPL2. The

derived factors generally demonstrated alpha, mean inter-item and test retest

reliability. The AMPL2(Total) ( the sum of the five factor values) and its factors

were moderately correlated with the Passionate Love Scale (Hatfield & Sprecher,

1986), the Eros factor of the Love Attitude Scale (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1990) and

the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (Spanier, 1976). These findings provided evidence of

construct validity. This research operationalised passionate love more broadly and

the AMPL2 was more strongly related to personal maturity and sexual arousal than

previous passionate love measures. However, because of the strength of the skew

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and a degree of instability in the factor solution, it was decided that the 31-item

solution may not represent the final definitive solution. A further study with a more

heterogeneous sample is recommended prior to undertaking research with this

measure. The qualitative data again included a number of mystical experiences

which were significantly more likely to occur among older respondents and those

endorsing Transcendence than those who did not report any peak experiences.

The notion that passionate love is largely replaced by companionate love

(Hatfield, 1988) was challenged. The sense of passionate engagement, eroticism,

passion and attraction was strong, even in some of the very long-term relationships.

This passion was virtually unaffected by age and length of relationship. The

companionate model of mature love is somewhat bland and asexual and seems to be

inaccurate for some older lovers. It is suggested that such descriptions may have

destructive effects on relationship expectations and ultimately on relationship

behaviour.

General support was found for the theories of Schnarch (1991, 1997) and

Fromm (1962). Long term passionate love was clearly valued. The incidence of

mature passionate love was higher than Fromm suggested and higher with life

experience - a notion that fits better with Schnarch's (2002) more recent conceptions.

Qualitative findings were consistent with Schnarch's concepts of wall socket sex and

his idea that it is more likely among older people (1991, 1997). The embeddedness

of sexuality within the emotional relationship, and an association between

differentiation and mature passionate love was found and was consistent with both

Schnarch (1991, 1997) and Fromm (1962).

Despite deficiencies in the generalisability of the current study, and the fact

that the participants tended to be very passionately in love, it represents an important

attempt to fill in some of the many gaps that exist in the understanding of love and

passionate love. The findings of the current study suggest that the purported

decrement of passion in relationships over time may not necessarily occur. In fact,

the experience of older, longer-term lovers may be one of profound gratefulness,

eroticism, oneness, and possibly spiritual closeness. Understanding more about long

term passionate love and long term passionate sexuality may provide constructive,

uplifting and much needed models for people within long-term relationships and

those hoping to establish them..

CHAPTER ONE

Introduction

"You, and you alone are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

You are so very admirable, attractive and desirable to me. You are someone

whose well-being is of vast importance to me, and I will act in whatever way

needed - I will give my utmost- to see to it that your aims and desires are

furthered, that your failures and unhappinesses are minimized, and that no

harm will come to you. I want to be your dearest friend, your soul mate, your

sexual partner, the person with whom I share everything. I want you to be the

person with whom I build my life, with whom I create and raise a family,

with whom I have fun. You are the most important and supremely valuable

person in the world" (Bergner, 2000, p.4). Thus, Bergner described the

loftiest aspirations of long term lovers.

The generous perspective of a long term passionate love can indeed be the

most powerful affirmation an individual receives in their whole lifetime. It is a core

element in a fulfilling life (Bergner, 2000). Despite its glory, long term passionate

love has been deemed largely non-existent (e.g., Hatfield, 1988) or virtually ignored

in the psychological literature (see Tzeng, 1993 for a review of the gaps in the

understanding of love).

The current study explored passionate love to better understand its elements,

and to attempt to quantify and compare it to other relationship characteristics.

Participants' opinions about the characteristics of mature passionate love and their

peak experiences in love and sex, were gleaned. The combination of qualitative and

quantitative methodologies and new research domains (e.g. peak sexual experiences)

meant that passionate love in long term relationships was examined from a fresh

perspective. With more comprehensive passionate love theories and better

measurement instruments, better quality research can be conducted to understand the

place of long term love and passionate love in relationship resilience and well being.

Initial Definitions

The focus of the current study was passionate love in long term relationships.

The two components to passionate love - passion and love - are explored to provide a

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preliminary definition. Love encompasses a broad range of affectional bonds,

depending on the relationship of the lover to the beloved. An initial broad definition

is that: love is an attitude with behavioural, emotional and cognitive components that

involves "caring, helping, establishing a bond, sharing, feeling free to talk,

understanding, respect and closeness" (Fehr & Russell, 1991, p. 434).

Many types of relationships, loves and activities can have a passionate

component. Passion implies enthusiasm, engagement, and intensity, even to the

point of obsession with the object of passion. Passion in human relationships often

includes elements of sexuality, attraction and eroticism. The capacity to maintain

passionate love beyond the infatuation stage and into the long term was explored by

the current research. Mature passionate love then, is an enthusiastic, open, trusting,

engaging, involvement with the beloved that includes sexual attraction, eroticism and

when possible, ardent sexual engagement, which can be expressed throughout the

course of a relationship.

Why Study Love?

The term love covers a broad range of emotions, thoughts and behaviours, as

well as a plethora of love objects including grandmothers, pesto sauce and fast cars.

Perhaps because it is overused there is at times a reluctance to employ the term love

in professional psychological enquiry (e.g., Schnarch, 1997). However, the power of

the experience and its salience in people's lives suggest the importance of attempting

to describe its varying forms and manifestations and distinguishing between them.

It was suggested that loving represents an ideal behaviour which guides

people towards living from their highest ideals so they act generously and nobly.

Long term loving is a yardstick, it is an important measure of the quality and

meaning of a person's life. Whether a person can sweep the sadness, pettiness and

disappointments aside and risk all in this commitment to this somewhat flawed other,

is also shown by the quality of the loving. It represents a deep longing and need

which may be biologically based to some extent, according to attachment theorists

(Hazan & Shaver, 1987).

3

The Study of Love - Current Status

In many respects the empirical study of love is in its infancy. There are large

gaps in the understanding of love. Most love research is conducted on white,

middle-class, young, US, university students. Some evidence suggested that this

research does not necessarily generalise to US black, Hispanic populations - let alone

people in long term relationships or from vastly different cultures (Holmber &

Veroff, 1996). The little research that has been undertaken on love in long term

relationships has suggested that perceptions of being in love are important for the

well being of a relationship (Contreras, Hendrick, & Hendrick, 1996; Grote & Frieze,

1994; Grote, Frieze, & Sone, 1996; Willi, 1997) and the individuals within it

(Cancian, 1987). Hence, the experience of love in long-term relationships needs to

be better understood.

Clinical research has tended to focus on long-term relationship patterns, what

makes marriages work and the efficacy of marital therapy (Tzeng, 1993) rather than

the meaning and experience of loving. No doubt research on love in long-term

relationships is more difficult because it may not be experienced as obsessively as it

is in the falling in love stage. It is also mixed in with a number of other relationship-

relevant qualities like trust, commitment, and intimacy and thus it may be hard to

decipher. As Hendrick and Hendrick note: "Love is simply too unruly to be

categorized… easily. It means different things to different people in different

relationships at different points in time. Only with open-minded exploration of

several of the current approaches to love will we have any possibility of developing

the overarching theory of love that still eludes us" (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1989, p.

793). Love theorists themselves categorise love as a style (e.g. Lee, 1998),

something with components (Sternberg, 1986), as socially and/or biologically driven

(Hazan & Shaver, 1987; Tennov, 1998), as something that can express our most lofty

impulses (Maslow, 1970) and as a type of emotion (Shaver, Morgan & Wu, 1996).

Further, love theorists use love and sexuality related words in different ways (Tzeng,

1993) - there is not yet a common language in the study of love.

In sum, preliminary evidence suggested that mature passionate love has

important implications for the well being of relationships and the individuals within

them. The research to date has been insufficient and suffers from inconsistencies and

differences in definition and language. Also the phenomenon itself is complex.

4

The Current Study

Two studies were conducted to explore the characteristics of mature

passionate love. Initially items for a measuring instrument were developed which

were designed to represent the ideas of Schnarch (1991, 1997) and Fromm (1962)

regarding passionate love in long-term relationships. Seven domains were

hypothesised to underlie the construct of mature passionate love - affection,

differentiation, engagement, enthusiasm, eroticism, openness/trust and

transcendence. These domains are described in detail in Table 3, in the introduction

to study one, in chapter six. A measure of relationship social desirability was

devised and its properties tested in both studies. In study one, a pool of 153 items

was administered to 187 individual participants who were more than 26 years old and

in a relationship of at least 7 years. In phase one of factor analysis, empirical,

conceptual and factor analytic considerations were used to reduce the number of

items in each of the seven passionate love domains and the social desirability domain

down to 61. A qualitative component of study one involved asking participants to

describe the important characteristics of mature passionate love and these responses

were used to guide item selection as well. The passionate love items were then

pooled for the second phase of factor analysis, and the highest loading and

significant items, called Assessment of Mature Passionate Love Study One (AMPL1

- 42 items), were included for measuring the relationship between the factors, and

demographic variables. Respondents were also asked about their peak experiences in

love and sex. In the second study, 61 mature passionate love and social desirability

items were compared with other relevant relationship and individual measures to test

for validity and reliability. Again, a conceptually and empirically informed factor

analysis was undertaken with a sample of 298 individuals who were currently in a

sexually intimate relationship. A 31-item AMPL2 scale was produced. Further

reports of peak experiences were obtained.

The current research is distinctive firstly because it investigated mature

passionate love, an area where very little research has been undertaken. The

predominant theory (Hatfield, 1988) has been that the intense roller-coaster ride of

passionate love quietens down to the more friendship based companionate love, in

longer-term relationships. Whether this necessarily happens was investigated by the

current research. Secondly, Schnarch's theories (Schnarch, 1991, 1997) which are

5

becoming increasingly important in couple therapy were investigated empirically,

possibly for the first time. Thirdly, this research investigated mystical sexual

experiences. Peak experiences have been found with some consistency (Breed &

Fagan, 1972; Davis, Lockwood, & Wright, 1991; Ebersole, 1972; Hoffman, 1998;

Kokoszka, 1992-1993; Mathes, Zevon, Roter, & Joerger, 1982; Wilson & Spencer,

1990). However, research into mystical sexual experiences is virtually non-existent.

Lastly, a measure of mature passionate love was developed, which was used to

explore the construct and attempt to measure it more comprehensively and accurately

than existing measures. The available measures of passionate love are either small

subscales of larger scales (e.g. the Love Attitude Scale, Hendrick & Hendrick, 1990)

or directed at young lovers (e.g. Passionate Love Scale, Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986).

A strength of the research was that both qualitative and quantitative measures were

used.

Domains of interest. When studying mature passionate love in reference to

various authors, the domains of interest were: love (especially passionate love),

sexuality, personal development, transcendence and spirituality. Personal

development was included because the love being discussed is long-term, and it is

necessary to explicate what maturity is and how it influences the experience and

expression of love. Transcendence and spirituality were included: (a) because of the

purported overlap between passionate and spiritual experience in the literature (e.g.

Brehm, 1988; Person, 1988); (b) because of the connection made between love,

maturity and spirituality (Fromm, 1962; Jung, 1961/1983; Maslow, 1968, 1970;

Schnarch, 1997); and (c) in order to understand peak experiences and their relation to

the possibilities of the passionate love experience (Barbach, 1984; Maslow, 1968,

1970; Schnarch, 1991, 1997).

The process of the current investigation. In chapter two, the ideas of

influential theorists like Freud, Jung, and Maslow are examined. The distinctive

contribution of some of these authors, their major theoretical ideas, the evidence (if

any) to support the theories and the strengths and weaknesses of the arguments are

described. Chapter three involves examining empirically based theorists and some of

the properties of the existing love and passionate love measures. In chapter four,

research relevant to the current study and the components of mature passionate love

is discussed. Chapter five describes the theories of Fromm and Schnarch to develop

6

items to measure passionate love for the current study. In chapter six, the process of

study one - the reduction of a 153 item scale measuring passionate love down to a 62

items scale using factor analysis and empirical criteria - is described. A qualitative

research component explores the nature of mature passionate love and peak

experiences related to passionate love. The exploration of peak experiences is then

continued in study two (chapter seven). Again factor analysis and empirical and

conceptually based data reduction were undertaken. A 31-item measure is derived

which demonstrated satisfactory reliability and validity. The sample was generally

very passionately in love, so the data are very skewed. Hence, a cautious use of the

derived measure is recommended. The final chapter (eight) involves a general

discussion and drawing conclusions from the data. Limitations of the research and

suggestions for future research are given.

A broad understanding of the scope and purpose of this research has been

given. In the next chapter, the ideas of the early theorists about love, passionate love,

personal development and spirituality are presented.

7

CHAPTER TWO

Conceptualisations of Love and Passionate Love

This chapter provides a theoretical and historical background to the current

study of love. The discussion includes the theories of the early psychoanalytic

authors and the humanistic psychologists, whose contributions to the current study of

love were more philosophical and conceptual than empirical, although they were

often based on therapeutic experience and case studies. During the discussion social,

intellectual and historical background to the development of theories of love is

provided.

Psychoanalytic Theorists

The Early Theorists

The early psychoanalytic theorists emerged from societies that were still

inclined to be rigid and moralistic. Charles Darwin's theory of evolution was an

important element in a developing new liberalism which explained biological

phenomena in purely scientific (rather than religious) terms. Coupled with that, the

philosophers Schopenhauer (1788-1860) and Nietzsche (1844-1900) both proposed

that human nature is to some extent driven by irrational drives and unconscious

forces (Liebert & Spiegler, 1994). These new ideas were to provide an important

intellectual stimulus for the nascent discipline of psychology.

The following discussion presents aspects of psychoanalytic theories which

have some bearing on mature passionate love related domains. The theories are not

presented comprehensively.

Freud

Major ideas. It is probably difficult to overstate the significance of Sigmund

Freud's influence on the development of psychological practice and theory in general

and his ideas on human sexuality in particular. He founded the process of

psychoanalysis, and for the first time explained in scientific terms (a) the notion of

8

human unconscious motivation, (b) the purpose of dreams, and, (c) the organisation

and development of personality (Liebert & Spiegler, 1994). While many subsequent

psychologists argued with and extended his ideas, he provided the groundwork by

giving an initial understanding of the nature of human psychology. His ideas

revolutionised how human nature was understood and deeply influenced the thinking

in other sciences (including sociology, political science, and anthropology) and

literature (including the works of D. H. Lawrence and Franz Kafka according to Gay,

1995).

Freud believed personality was comprised of three interacting components.

The first was the id, or pleasure principle described as hedonistic, childlike and

existing at birth. This aspect of personality is illogical, unreasonable and has no

moral code, according to Freud. The second aspect of personality was called the ego,

operating, according to Freud, on the reality principle since it suspends id's

gratification for the sake of reality. It enables individuals to solve problems, create

strategies, protect their health and safety and represent the external world. The

superego acts to meet the needs of social convention and morality, and internally

represents the values of the parents. It includes conscience and is concerned with

ideals (Freud, 1923/1995).

The sexual instinctual drive, or libido, was considered by Freud to be the

most important of the id's functions and one which spanned the whole lifetime.

Freud (1912/1977) strongly linked human behaviour and motivation to sexual

instincts and noted a tension between sexual needs driven by the id, and the demands

of civilization which are represented by the ego and superego. He was perhaps the

first notable Western theorist to acknowledge the existence of childhood sexuality.

He argued that poor management or resolution of infantile sexual instincts is a

common precursor to neurosis. Learning to tolerate sexual frustration was important

for human productivity and to promote erotic pleasure and desire.

A central component in the resolution of the sexual frustration and the

development of maturity was dealing with the Oedipus complex. Based on the

ancient Greek myth the complex revolved around the desire of young boys to possess

their mother sexually (because she is the first object of love) and rival the father.

The boy fears the father's punishment, which he presumes (incorrectly) will take the

form of castration (thus castration anxiety). This is eventually resolved by the boy

9

repressing the desire, identifying with the father (via the superego) and developing an

interest in a new love object. Freud considered this resolution important to avoid the

development of neurosis (Freud, 1925/1977).

The corresponding complex in girls is called the Electra complex and is not

as easily resolved as the Oedipal complex. Simply put, the little girl still loves the

mother as the first love object, but is disappointed to find that her father and other

males have a penis while she only has a clitoris (a phenomenon called penis envy).

She feels castrated and blames the mother for this and other disappointments and she

increases her love for her father. The paternal love is tinged with eroticism because

of her envy of his penis. She also fears losing her mother's love and she represses

her desire for her father. She then identifies with her mother (again via the superego)

in the resolution of the complex (Freud, 1931/1977).

Freud described love as being based on infantile reactions and longings.

"…Love consists of new editions of old traits and …..it repeats infantile reactions.

But this is the essential character of every state of being in love. There is no such

state which does not reproduce infantile prototypes. It is precisely from this infantile

determination that it receives its compulsive character, verging as it does on the

pathological" (Freud, 1915/1995, p. 385).

Freud linked love to the sexual instinct: "The genitals themselves have not

taken part in the development of the human body in the direction of beauty: they

have remained animal, and thus love, too, has remained in essence just as animal as it

ever was" (Freud, 1912/1977, p. 259). In describing erotic love Freud was very

much a product of his time - he expressed a disdain for men's sexuality and described

middle class women as puritanical. "There are only a very few educated people in

whom the two currents of affection and sensuality have become properly fused; the

man almost always feels his respect for the woman acting as a restriction on his

sexual activity; and only develops full potency when he is with a debased sexual

object; and this is in turn partly caused by the entrance of perverse components into

his sexual aims, which he does not venture to satisfy with a woman he respects"

(Freud, 1912/1977, p. 254). However, he also felt that sexual love was one of

humanity's greatest delights: "Sexual love is undoubtedly one of the chief things in

life, and the union of mental and bodily satisfaction in the enjoyment of love is one

of its culminating peaks" (Freud, 1915/1995, p. 386).

10

Interestingly, Freud considered most elements of the personality formed by

the time the superego developed during childhood, at the time boys resolved their

Oedipus complex. Many of the struggles individuals faced were to do with their

instinctual nature which he saw as animalistic. Also the fact that so much of his

work was focused on neuroses meant that there was little recognition of a higher

aspect of human nature. Hence, "growing up" did not necessarily extend beyond the

resolution of childhood sexual development conflicts (Freud, 1923/1995).

Freud was contemptuous of religion and religious thought, considering them

outdated and immature and more sensibly replaced by a scientific worldview. In his

lecture "The Question of Weltanschauung" Freud said: "If we attempt to assign the

place of religion in the evolution of mankind, it appears not as a permanent

acquisition but as a counter part to the neurosis which individual civilized men have

to go through in their passage from childhood to maturity" (Freud, 1932/1995, p.

788).

Evidence. The soundness of Freud's research methodology and whether the

processes of his theory development were in fact scientific has been questioned.

Freud only discussed 12 cases in detail. He developed his ideas about normal

personality using the retrospective memories of his troubled clients (which may not

have been based on historic truth). He also developed sophisticated ideas about child

psychology and yet never worked directly with children (Liebert & Spiegler, 1994).

At times psychoanalytic hypotheses were not testable (a notion that Freud was aware

of; Gay, 1995) and explanations could be used to fit any outcomes. Concepts were

sometimes poorly defined (e.g., the Electra concept) and prone to logical errors

(Liebert & Spiegler, 1994).

Freud's status meant that his theories have been the subject of a great deal of

research. There is evidence to support some of his ideas about the process of

personality development (including oral, anal and phallic stages e.g. Masling,

Johnson, & Saturansky, 1974; Masling, Price, Goldband, & Katkin, 1981).

However, the evidence gathered does not necessarily link childhood sexual

development to the specific events that Freud hypothesised had taken place. Fisher

and Greenberg (1996) in a recent review of a large volume of good quality research

on Freud's theories have concluded that his theories have received scientific support,

including some of his ideas about depression and paranoia.

11

Strengths and weakness. Freud's influence on psychoanalytic theory was

pivotal. He provided a starting point for other theorists and indeed many of his ideas

were later adapted (Arlow, 1995). To a degree Freud normalised and explained a

range of sexual behaviours and certainly introduced the notion of children's

sexuality. Freud's ideas on women's sexuality, particularly the notion of penis envy,

the perversion of homosexuality and the superiority of "vaginal orgasm", would

generally be considered disrespectful in today's Western gender climate. Such ideas

are dated since they reflect the more patriarchal societal structure that was to be

found in his lifetime. His other weakness was his limited view of the possibility of

personal growth and maturity. Also he tended to have a rather animalistic view of

human nature and disdain for the possibility of spiritual growth.

Jung

Major ideas. Carl Jung postulated that the basic human drives were

sexuality, self-assertion and spirituality, with the spiritual drive being especially

important after the age of 40. Jung's emphasis on spirituality, growth and balance

made his theories distinctive and positive in comparison with Freud's (Jacobi, 1973).

Jung's psychology aimed at developing a greater balance between opposite

intrapersonal forces - male and female, good and bad, matter and spirit, and

individual mind and universal mind. He proposed that during the second half of life

the four functions of consciousness: sensation and intuition (which represent

opposites), and thinking and feeling (which again are opposites), should be brought

into balance.

When that balance is not present, individuals are more susceptible to losing

themselves in loving relationships and falling in love. The hidden or underdeveloped

parts of the self (which may partly be represented by the contrasexual aspect of self,

the animus for women and the anima for men) are projected onto the partner and the

longing for wholeness is transmuted into a longing for the beloved. However, when

a greater balance of different aspects of the psyche has been achieved, a much more

profound, generous and mature love becomes possible. Jung proposed that this was

likely to take place after mid-life and only after considerable personal struggle. The

loving then becomes free from fetters because the beloved no longer has a magical

12

power over the lover who is more alone, yet also no longer in fear of losing his or her

individuality (Jacobi, 1973).

Jung maintained that in the first half of life, loving is rather physical,

extroverted and aimed at producing offspring. But in the second half of life the

orientation is more introverted and the individual needs to be more united with the

contrasexual part of the self and an external contrasexual intimate (Jacobi, 1973). At

this stage the development of a more mature love becomes possible "… when the

nature of unconscious motivations has been recognized and the original identity

broken down. Seldom or never does a marriage develop into an individual [or

mature] relationship smoothly and without crisis. There is no birth of consciousness

without pain (Jung, 1931/1954, para. 331, p.193).

Jung's theories demonstrated his deep understanding of (a) religion (both

Eastern and Western) and (b) symbols, legends and myths from many cultures and

from many periods in history (which he called archetypes and suggested were

common to all people, (Jung, 1958/1991). He gathered and synthesised diverse

sources of ancient and subtle wisdom in his writing which he used in the

interpretation of dreams (Jung, 1961/1983).

He encouraged a spirituality based on inner experience rather than dogma

(Jung, 1961/1983). In his autobiography Memories, Dreams and Reflections he

described his own mystical experiences (Jung, 1961/1983). Jung suggested the

possibility of profound spiritual awakening and enlightenment being possible when

people bring the different aspects of their psyche into balance (Jung, 1958/1991).

Strengths and weaknesses. One of the strengths of Jungian philosophy was

that it provided mechanisms which putatively enabled personal growth. He

emphasised personal work to bring about the growth and balance. He explained how

analysts could enrich the growth of their patients through dream interpretation and

the use of active imagination (a rather dream like creative process where "inner"

material is expressed, Jung, 1961/1983).

His ideas are used today without significant adaptation, partly because of the

richness of their cultural, mythological and spiritual content (Arlow, 1995). Yet the

denseness of his theories is perhaps also its weakness in that they are difficult to

understand (because they include so much esoteric information) and therefore to

represent with any degree of certainty or comprehensiveness. Also, because he saw

13

himself as a pioneer, his ideas were not presented in a systematic manner and were

very detailed at times. This was acknowledged by Jung himself in the introduction to

Jacobi's book (Jacobi, 1973) along with an endorsement of Jacobi's presentation of

his (Jung's) ideas.

Jung's sophisticated representation of the process of personal development

was a strength. However, he was relatively uninterested in development before the

age of 40 and so his theories about individuals before this age are not as well honed

(Jacobi, 1973).

Evidence. Perhaps one of the weaknesses of Jungian theory was that its

premises were not readily testable - except experientially. Yet this proposition was

acceptable to Jung. He was interested in the scientific method and in 1913 gave up

teaching to conduct research on the unconscious. His conclusion regarding the

testability of the growth of self-knowledge was that "everything about this

psychology is, in the deepest sense, experience; the entire theory, even when it puts

on the most abstract airs, is the direct outcome of something experienced " (Jung,

1943-1966, para. 199, p. 117). Furthermore, he freely admitted that his theories were

not rigorously evidence based. He said: "For me, scientific research work…… was a

struggle…… Hence not everything I bring forth is written out of my head, but much

of it comes from the heart also…Urged on by the need to help and to heal, one acts

as a path-finder, one must speak also of realities as yet unknown" (Jung, 1943/1966,

para. 200, p.118).

Some of Jung's ideas have found useful applications. For instance, Jungian

philosophy was an important basis for the development of the 12 step program used

for addictive behaviours (Naifeh, 1995). Also, Jungian theories of personality were

used to develop the Myers-Briggs type indicator and evidence supporting its

usefulness in business, research and counselling has accrued (Johnson, Mauzey,

Johnson, Murphy, & Zimmerman, 2001; Opt & Loffredo, 2000). However, the more

esoteric, and spiritual aspects of his theories remain essentially untestable.

Reich

It is difficult to discuss psychoanalytic perspectives on passionate love and

sexuality without briefly mentioning Wilhelm Reich. Reich (1970), also Freud's

contemporary, posited that the unnatural inhibition of the sexual instinct was

14

responsible for much of the neurosis experienced in western civilization at the time.

The prohibition of masturbation during infancy and adolescence was described as

creating sexual disturbance, leading to sexual impotence and eventually undermining

a joyful marriage. This damage was exacerbated by strict moralistic and ascetic

standards, according to Reich. Reich was expelled from the International

Psychoanalytic Society and later jailed in the United States for his unusual views and

practices. Yet he was at one time one of Freud's favourite pupils and he made

important contributions to the Viennese psychoanalytic discussions in the 1920s.

Further, his ideas remain of interest to somatic therapists today and spawned

Bioenergetic analysis (Lowen, 1995).

Post Freud

Psychodynamic therapists after Freud's death included two loose schools- the

ego psychologists and the neo-Freudians. Erikson was an ego psychologist and

accepted much of Freud's theories but asserted that the ego had a more constructive

function than the repression of the id. The neo-Freudians included Erich Fromm,

Karen Horney and Harry Stack-Sullivan and emphasised social influences and

interpersonal relationships. The theory of one representative of each school is briefly

described.

Erikson

Erik Erikson (1965) developed an eight-stage theory of psychosocial

development which spanned from birth to death. Resolution of the challenges of one

stage enabled resolution of later stages and produced contentment and adjustment.

Erikson proposed that emotional and sexual intimacy are based upon identity

formation. This process involves working with the strain of retaining a sense of self

while simultaneously developing closeness with another. The tension around the

potential for loss of self in a relationship can, if poorly handled, diminish the desire

for commitment.

"Where a youth does not resolve such strain he may isolate himself and enter,

at best, only stereotyped and formalized interpersonal relations: or he may, in

repeated hectic attempts and dismal failures, seek intimacy with the most

15

improbable partners. For where an assured sense of identity is missing, even

friendships and affairs become desperate attempts at delineating the fuzzy

outlines of identity by mutual narcissistic mirroring: to fall in love then often

means to fall into one's mirror image, hurting oneself and damaging the

mirror" (Erikson, 1968, p. 167). Interestingly, Erikson did not include

relationship and intimacy challenges in later life stage development needs. Rather,

he suggested that it was fairly exclusively the issue of young adulthood (Erikson,

1968). There has been qualified support for some aspects of his theories (Hannah &

Domino, 1996).

Fromm

Erich Fromm (1962) was an important post-Freudian psychoanalyst whose

work on love was conceptually rich and needs extensive explanation. He stressed the

role of culture, politics and society in shaping individual psychology. His theories

are discussed more fully below and are used in the development of the Assessment of

Mature Passionate Love scale.

Humanistic Psychologists

While psychoanalytic theories were evolving, the rather contrasting approach

of behaviourism was developing its independent branch of psychological theory and

practice. John Watson (1878-1958) founded behaviourism and his radical version

included the notion that only overt behaviour and the external stimuli that influenced

behaviour could be legitimately researched. Thoughts and feelings were considered

too subjective to be of interest (Liebert & Spiegler, 1994). Hence, love and

passionate love were thought to be inappropriate research topics during much of the

time when behaviourism was pre-eminent. The arrival of humanistic psychology,

described by Abraham Maslow (1968) as a "third force" in psychology (after

psychoanalysis and behaviourism), changed the face of psychology again and love

was investigated and discussed anew.

The humanistic psychologists were at their most influential in the post World

War II era when the western world was beginning to reexamine itself. The 1960s

generation was rejecting the ideas of their parents whose materialism and patriotism

16

had led to the terrible destruction of the wars, and bitter political and racial divisions

(Rogers, 1980). A new idealism (identified with the "hippy" generation) was

spreading which centred on the ideals of peace, freedom and love.

Humanistic psychologists provided psychological theories consistent with

this idealism. The emphasis was not on neuroses but rather on optimising human

potential and creativity. The ideas are relevant to the current discussion because of

their focus on the possibilities of human growth. Further, the explicit investigation

of how spiritual and emotional development is expressed in intimate relationships is

of particular interest.

Rogers

Carl Rogers' contribution to psychological practice and theory as a whole was

considerable. A central tenet of his approach was respect for individuals and their

problem solving abilities. He believed doggedly that if individuals were given the

right support they were tremendously capable.

Rogers (1973) proposed that a relationship is enhanced by the separate

growth of the individuals within it. He noted paradoxically that: "It is almost like

saying that the more separate you become, the greater is the chance for a strong

union" (Rogers, 1973, p. 212). Developing this sense of individuality was

accomplished by discovering and accepting one's self, dropping the mask,

discovering one's own values while risking living by them and cherishing them. He

described some of the important ingredients of a happy marriage as: commitment,

deep communication, taking the risk of exposing vulnerability, allowing the

dissolution of roles, and enabling mutuality of growth.

Rogers viewed his ideas about the potential for human growth as being

consistent with Buddhism and he was convinced by research supporting "the mystic's

experience of union with the universal" (Rogers, 1980, p. 128). Further, he saw

psychotherapy as enhancing people's spirituality and creativity.

Maslow

Major ideas. Abraham Maslow (1968, 1970) was one of the foremost

humanist theorists to investigate human potential, claiming that psychology had been

too focused upon psychopathology. He examined the characteristics of highly

17

developed people and discussed how their behaviour, feelings and motivations were

different from ordinary folk. He suggested that highly developed people (or self-

actualized people as he called them) are capable of B-love or "being" love which is

spontaneous, highly enjoyable, mystical, intimate, honest and expressive and in

which roles, striving and defenses are dropped. Lovers "can be themselves without

feeling that there are demands or expectations upon them; they can feel

psychologically (as well as physically) naked and still feel loved and wanted and

secure" (Maslow, 1970, p. 185). In fact, he said that love can only be expressed

profoundly when there is an absence of threat. Then the lover can be natural, not

needing to modify himself or herself in any way. Further, he claimed that "sexual

pleasures are found in their most intense and ecstatic perfection in self-actualizing

people….[who describe]…them as mystical experiences….being swept away

completely by forces beyond their control" (Maslow 1970, p. 187). Maslow (1970)

suggested that sexual and relationship satisfaction increases as the relationship

lengthens for self-actualised lovers. Maslow (1968) contrasted B-love with D-love

or deficiency love. D- love was described as being based on deficiency, dependency,

need and selfishness, and was conceptualised as giving rise to anxiety and hostility.

Maslow's concept of B-love envisaged intensely intimate relationships arising

without needing labour, being generous and largely being without need. The

distinguishing characteristic between growth orientation and deficiency orientation

was the presence or absence of anxiety. However, unlike in Eastern spiritual

teachings, there was no enlightenment or orgasmic moment to work towards, rather a

desire for more of the same (Maslow, 1968). Maslow was quite against

institutionalised religion, according to his biographer (Hoffman, 1998).

Hoffman (1998) reported Maslow's 1959 address to the American

Psychological Association's annual convention in which he described peak

experiences. Maslow described these peak experiences as having the following

features: a sense of awe and wonder, loss of sense of space and time, "loss of fear

and defense before the grandeur of the universe. People typically mentioned that

polar opposites - like good and evil, free will and destiny - seemed transcended in

such instants; everything in the cosmos appeared connected to everything else in

dazzling and ineffable splendor" (p. 109). The experiences described serve as a

reference point for what is possible in human relationships and in human behaviour.

18

Strengths and weaknesses. Maslow's work opened up new vistas in

psychology. A new emphasis on adaptive, healthy functioning was spawned by his

work. One of his great contributions was the exploration of the notion of self-

actualisation and peak experiences. Research on highly developed individuals was

verging on heretical in his time and it took a long time for him to develop the

courage to acknowledge the research academically (Hoffman, 1998).

The advantage of research like this is that a consideration of it may encourage

individuals to reappraise their functioning, their perspectives and what humans worry

about and are capable of. Perhaps the difficulty of the research is that the material on

self-actualisation could potentially be discouraging to people who may go on to see

themselves as unacceptable in some way because they have needs and worries.

One criticism that could be made of his research methodology is that the

criteria for self-actualisation were somewhat subjective. However, when establishing

a new paradigm it can be difficult to argue objectively on the basis of past evidence.

Evidence. Maslow's theories have received mixed support (Mitchell &

Moudgill, 1976; Soper, Milford, & Rosenthal, 1995; Wahba & Bridwell, 1976).

However, there has been some evidence to support the notion of self actualisation

(Brennan & Piechowski, 1991; McClain, 1970; Wilson & Spencer, 1990) and a

significant number of studies reporting peak experiences (Breed & Fagan, 1972, N =

110; Davis, Lockwood, & Wright, 1991, N = 246; Douglas-Smith, 1971, N = 211;

Ebersole, 1972, N = 83; Hoffman, 1998 N = 250; Kokoszka, 1992-1993; Mathes,

Zevon, Roter, & Joerger, 1982, N = 833; Polyson, 1985, N = 162; Stewart, 1976, N =

48, Wilson & Spencer, 1990 N = 133; 31; Yeagle, Privette, & Dunham, 1989, N =

152 ). There has been very little empirical work on the sexuality of highly developed

individuals or on sexual peak experiences.

Conclusion

The current understanding of love and passionate love is informed by rich

and somewhat contradictory theories. Freud played the important role of revealing

the animal nature of human instincts, which are in tension with socialised morality

internalised from parents. His vision of the possibilities of passionate love was that it

is indeed one of our peak experiences, yet one that is not far removed from infant

19

impulses and animal drives. Jung's perspective was far more spiritual and growth

oriented, with mature passionate love occurring when individuals bring the different

sides of their nature into balance. Maturity in love was viewed as more likely to

occur after mid-life when lovers know themselves better and are more able to tolerate

aloneness.

Neo-Freudians, particularly Fromm, and ego psychologists developed Freud's

ideas, being more focused on the possibility of growth. Fromm's ideas are discussed

in a great deal more detail in chapter five. This growth orientation was extended by

the humanists who changed the direction of psychological enquiry away from

neurosis to investigating human potential. Maslow, perhaps the most famous

humanist, developed theories of peak experiences and a very pure mature form of

love which was not based on need.

The theorising and philosophising of the psychoanalysts, neo-Freudians, ego

psychologists and humanists was to provide a good basis for the empiricists. The

empirical investigation of the nature and experience of love is the next phase of

development in the understanding of love and passionate love and is described in the

following chapter.

20

CHAPTER THREE

Empirically Based Love Theorists

So far the ideas of some of the important psychologists whose ideas were of

relevance to the development of thought about relationships, love and sex have been

discussed. This section gives a description of theorists who have deeply shaped

current thinking specifically on love or passionate love. All the authors mentioned

have attempted to measure love quantitatively or qualitatively. The theories and

measures developed by Rubin, Tennov, Sternberg, and Hazan and Shaver are

discussed briefly. The work of Lee and its development by Hendrick and Hendrick

and also the work of Hatfield and her colleagues are discussed in greater depth

because their scales are the principle methods of measuring passionate love in

current research.

Rubin

Rubin noted that while "love is generally regarded to be the deepest and most

meaningful of sentiments…it is surprising to discover that social psychologists have

devoted virtually no attention to love" (Rubin, 1970, p. 265). Rubin attempted to

remedy this situation somewhat by developing a love scale. A scale with the two

dimensions of liking and loving was administered to two samples, young psychology

students (N = 198) and 158 couples. The Liking factor includes items on attraction,

good opinion, respect and friendship. The Loving factor includes items expressing

dependency, possessiveness, responsibility towards, labouring for, affection and

desire to be with the beloved. It did not have sexual or sexual attraction items. Love

was described as an attitude with cognitive, emotional and behavioural components.

In a third study with 79 couples, partners who had higher scores on Rubin's love

scale were more likely to spend time simultaneously gazing into each other's eyes.

This was taken to reflect the "exclusive and absorptive component of romantic love"

(Rubin, 1970, p. 271). The emphasis of this research is on romantic love defined as

"love between unmarried opposite-sex peers, of the sort which could possibly lead to

marriage" (Rubin, 1970, p. 266). This measure has received empirical support

(Sternberg & Grajek, 1984; Tzeng, 1993) and it remains one of the first serious

21

attempts to measure love empirically. Its focus on romantic rather than passionate

love and its asexual focus indicate it is unsuitable for the current research.

Tennov

Dorothy Tennov (1998) coined the term limerance, which links biological

processes to falling in love. She interviewed 500 lovers and described the subjective

experience of limerance as including: intrusive thinking about the beloved; acute

longing for, relief or ecstasy from receiving reciprocation or signs of it from the

beloved; dependency on the beloved's actions; exclusivity of limerant feelings;

fearing rejection; hopefulness; aching in the heart when uncertainty is strong; and a

focus on the beloved to the exclusion of others. Limerance was described as a sort of

"madness" which occurs without our conscious control. She maintained that love

does not have many guises as some authors suggest and is experienced remarkably

consistently by lovers. The biological benefits of limerance were seen as:

encouraging mating, establishing a committed relationship which enables the

provision of a stable environment for the young and allowing young lovers to break

their emotional bond with their parents. Yet Tennov acknowledged that the all-

absorbing nature of limerance undermines lovers' capacity to function in the world.

Drawing a parallel to the process of imprinting in young birds, limerance was

described as a "fixed action pattern" that involved the idealization of the beloved.

Limerance was thought to encourage mating with attractive, healthy partners and

diminish interest in those who are not.

Tennov's ideas have been influential in love research and may not be

inconsistent with some lay notions about the nature of love. She alluded to the

possible maintenance of bonds but her research is very focused on the early stages of

love and does not describe how love can be maintained over the lifespan.

Sternberg

Robert Sternberg (1986, 1988, 1998a) suggested that in order to have a

complete experience of love (what he describes as consummate love) a person needs

to experience a balance of intimacy, passion and commitment. Sternberg (1986)

developed his Triangular Theory of love to represent ideal love and suggest how less

balanced and fulfilling forms of love could be conceptualised. He described

22

experiencing passion alone as "infatuated love" and conceived of companionate love

as being intimacy and commitment without passion. Romantic love was construed as

experiencing intimacy and passion without commitment (see figure 1). Sternberg

suggested that "passion is largely the expression of desires and needs - such as for

self-esteem, nurturance, affiliation, dominance, submission and sexual fulfillment"

(Sternberg, 1998, p. 9).

LIKING (Intimacy Alone) ROMANTIC LOVE COMPANIONATE LOVE (Intimacy + Passion) (Intimacy + Commitment) CONSUMMATE LOVE (Intimacy + Passion + Commitment) INFATUATION FATUOUS LOVE EMPTY LOVE (Passion alone) (Passion + Commitment) (Decision/Commitment alone)

Figure 1. The kinds of loving as different combinations of the three components of

love

Sternberg has written and researched extensively on the subject of love (e.g.

(Beall & Sternberg, 1995; Sternberg, 1986, 1987, 1988, 1998a, 1998b; Sternberg &

Barnes, 1988) and his triangular theory of love not only makes intuitive sense but has

received some empirical validation (Fletcher, Simpson, Thomas, & Giles, 1999;

Hendrick, Hendrick, & Adler, 1988; Tzeng, 1993). However, the 45 item scale he

devised to measure his triangular theory has not demonstrated sufficient

independence of factors (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1989; Sternberg, 1997; Tzeng, 1993)

23

and may in fact be unifactorial (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1989). It has not been used a

great deal in research to date.

The items on the passion subscale are somewhat focused on fantasy, romance

and idealisation. While there are a couple of items expressing physical attraction,

there are none on sex and none expressing lust. This emphasis makes it suitable for

research with younger students who may not yet be sexually active. However, the

items do not seem to represent the construct adequately for people in longer-term

relationships and younger sexually active people whose passion would be expected

to be expressed sexually to some degree. Also, some younger people (probably

most) are likely to have lustful thoughts concerning the person they feel passionate

about, whether or not they are sexually active and there is some evidence that this is

the case (Regan, 1998b, N = 60). Not including lustful items means an important

content dimension of passionate love is absent. In sum, although the concept of

consummate love seems theoretically useful, Sternberg's consummate love scale has

been unsatisfactory psychometrically and in content.

Hazan and Shaver and Attachment Theorists

Hazan and Shaver (Hazan & Shaver, 1987) undertook ground-breaking

research to examine Bowlby's (1973, 1980) proposition that the experience of

childhood attachment is biologically determined and gives rise to working models of

relationship patterns which are relatively stable and enduring. Two studies were

done where participants were asked to categorise themselves in one of three adult

relationship patterns, which were labelled secure, anxious/ambivalent and avoidant.

Participants who perceived themselves as secure in relationships were expected to

feel worthy of love and happier in their relationships, more trusting of their romantic

partner and indeed this was found. Anxious participants were more likely to be

jealous, desire reciprocation and experience emotional extremes. Avoidant

participants were the most likely to fear closeness, were the least accepting and were

also prone to emotional extremes. Hazan and Shaver expected that patterns of

romantic attachment would reflect adults' perceptions of their relationship with their

parents when they were children. This relationship was indeed found, and was

significant but not strong. Other life events, other relationships, disposition and the

difference between adult/adult and adult/infant bonds, were thought to account for

24

changes in working models. Hazan and Shaver concluded that loving was a

biological as well as a social process which facilitates pair bonding and the provision

of appropriate care for children.

Since Hazan and Shaver (1987), a vast amount of research has been

undertaken investigating adult romantic relationships using the attachment

perspective. Much of the research has not directly linked perceptions of childhood

attachment and current relationship attachment. Rather, the research has linked

secure adult attachment to positive relationship outcomes and anxious and avoidant

relationship styles with more negative relationship outcomes (e.g. Collins & Read,

1990, 1994; Feeney, Noller, & Callan, 1994; Feeney, Noller, & Hanrahan, 1994,

Hadley, Holloway, & Mallinckrodt, 1993; Kotler, 1985, 1989; Simpson, 1990).

Since Hazan and Shaver (1987), adult attachment has been measured a

number of different ways. Bartholomew and Horowitz (1991) introduced a four-

category model. The secure category was the same as Hazan and Shaver

conceptualised and the preoccupied was similar to the previous anxious type.

Preoccupied individuals tended to be overly disclosive, have a positive view of

others and a negative one of themselves, blaming themselves when others reject

them. But avoidant attachment was now divided up into dismissing and fearful

attachment. Dismissing individuals were low on nurturing, warmth and

expressiveness, tending to have a positive self-image and a negative view of others.

Fearful types tended to be socially insecure, passive, cold and have a negative view

of themselves and others. Interestingly, men were more likely to be dismissing and

women more likely to be pre-occupied.

Attachment theory research has been questioned because of inadequate

measurement (Garbarino, 1998) and because attachment styles may not be very

stable over time (Lewis, Feiring, McGuffog, & Jaskir, 1984). However, the strength

of this perspective is that it helps to explain why humans behave as they do in

intimate relationships. The parallel between primate and human behaviour noted by

Bowlby (1973) implies that instinctual processes are possibly responsible for some of

the need for attachment to an intimate. Attachment research implies that the capacity

to love another maturely is influenced by life events and relationships formed, but

that mature love will be more difficult for some people to attain. People with early

25

experiences that did not engender trust in others and a sense of the safety of

closeness, will find loving others more difficult than secure individuals.

Lee

In the 1970s Lee investigated how people experienced love in all its variety.

He set out to "demythologise the Western myth of love" (Lee, 1998, p. 34). Lee

likened lovestyles to colours. A vast array of hues stem from the arrangement of the

primary and secondary colours. Similarly, the primary styles of love are eros

(intense emotional and physical attraction), ludus (game playing love), and storge

(friendship based love). The secondary love styles are mania, pragma and agape.

Mania is a combination of eros and ludus and involves possessive, obsessive,

anxious and over intense behaviours. Pragma is a combination of ludus and storge

and such a lover makes a sensible assessment of the qualities that a good mate needs

to possess, for instance, appropriate religion or social status. Agape combines eros

with storge and is altruistic, friendly and intense but governed more by the head than

the heart. Lee noted that this type of love is consistent with early Christian ideology

but is rarely found in Western society, although may be found in other societies.

Lee emphasised that he did not only identify six love styles but rather six

styles which could be combined to form unique love attitudes. Lee noted that few

people loved in purely one style and that lovestyles may change with time and

partners. Lee took exception to theorists like Fromm who maintained there was only

one form of true love.

Lee (1988) described a number of studies in which he used a lexical approach

to understanding the experience of love, deriving phrases from novels and later from

people he interviewed. His 120 participants came from two cities in England and

two in Canada. He also questioned lesbians and gay men and found their definitions

of love were equivalent to heterosexual accounts. He noted the frequency with

which other authors promoted one true form of love above others. He concluded by

saying: "In many forms of human activity, we seek, develop and celebrate the richest

possible variety of kinds. In art, films, ideas, fashion, books, and flowers, who

would accept any researcher's notion that there was only one true kind? How ironic,

that in the glorious activity of loving, so many still refuse to celebrate the wondrous

human capacity for variety" (Lee, 1988, p. 66).

26

Criticisms of Lee's approach. This perspective would be easier to argue for,

if love attitudes did not have such significant real world implications. People's

commitment to loving another in the long term deeply affects the quality of life and

the well being of the individuals concerned. In turn, marriages and families and the

well being of children and their future is profoundly affected by whether mothers and

fathers feel they are in love enough to stay together (Noller, 1996; Willi, 1997).

Hendrick and Hendrick

Major theoretical ideas. Hendrick and Hendrick (1986, 1990) attempted to

operationalise Lee's conceptions of love in their Love Attitude Scale, which has been

widely used in love research. Apart from a reasonably brief review of existing scales

and theories Hendrick and Hendrick (1986) did not undertake any extensive

theoretical justification for their scale. They noted that most of the work until then

had been done on theory building, rather than scale development. They also

suggested that consistent research needed to be done.

Their scale contains six factors which reflect the six styles of love Lee

suggested (Agape, Eros, Ludus, Mania, Pragma and Storge). Lee's theories were

chosen because they were research-based and theoretically rich. Hendrick and

Hendrick (1986) compared existing love measures and found most instruments could

be linked to Lee's concepts. For example Eros was equated with Hatfield's

passionate love and Storge to companionate love. The love depicted in Rubin's scale

was described as lacking the passion of Eros.

Hendrick and Hendrick (1986, N = 807, using a student sample) refined an

earlier version of their scale and found gender differences with males more Ludic

and females more Storgic, Pragmatic and Manic than males. Oriental students were

found to be significantly less erotic. Eros was positively related to self esteem but

Mania was negatively related. The authors postulated that love styles may change as

relationships develop moving from Eros to Storge and Pragma in the later years.

Grote and Frieze (1994) and Hendrick et al. (1988) found that Eros and

Agape were correlated with marital satisfaction. Levy and Davis (1988) found that

Eros and Agape were associated with passion, commitment and satisfaction, whereas

Ludus was negatively correlated with these lovestyles. These findings call into

question Lee's perspective that all love styles are equally valid and to be encouraged.

27

Strengths and weaknesses. The strengths of this scale include the fact that six

distinct factors were produced and most of the variance was not explained by the first

factor which can be a weakness of other love scales (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986).

The content of the items in the Love Attitude Scale are more applicable to

relationships at different stages than the Passionate Love Scale and, indeed, Hendrick

and Hendrick (1992) stated that the scale was not directed at the falling in love stage.

Having six love styles enables a more complex understanding to be developed about

the way love functions than was previously available, when 'liking' and 'loving' were

the best understood components of love. Another advantage of this scale is that there

is some acknowledgement of the place of sexuality in loving relationships and a

specific sexual item is included in the Eros factor.

A second version of the scale (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1990) was developed

with a sample of 1139 introductory psychology students, which was more

psychometrically sound than the first. In this version, the 19 questions which

described love in general, were replaced by items which described attitudes about the

respondent's actual relationship. While this version has been shown to be an

improvement on the 1986 version, it is argued that the measurement of passionate

love is not yet satisfactory. The factor that particularly represents passionate love, is

Eros. Mania is also used in the discussion because it has passionate overtones, but its

items have dependent, needy and obsessive qualities, and therefore represent more

unhealthy aspects of passionate love.

The adequacy of existing measures of passionate love for people in longer-

term relationships is examined in the current research. Although the items of the

Eros factor intercorrelate, they do not necessarily represent the content of erotic love

well, especially in its mature form. Among the seven items in the sub-scale only

three items appear to be central to the construct for long term relationships (the items

describing (a) having the right "chemistry", (b) understanding each other and (c)

intense, satisfying lovemaking). Other items seem to be more relevant to the

beginning of a relationship (becoming emotionally involved quickly, immediate

attraction), and of course relationships change over time. It is more relevant to long

term relationships to determine whether the attraction and emotional involvement

have been maintained, than what their origins are. It is less important that a partner

fits a person's "ideal standards of physical beauty/handsomeness" than there

28

continues to be a sense of partner attractiveness. In fact, when Grote et al. (1996)

attempted a revision of this scale a new Eros item "I am still attracted to my partner"

received a factor loading of .85 while the retained items about ideal beauty only

loaded .53. Also, partners do not necessarily have to believe the relationship is fated

to be passionate, although such a belief may contribute to commitment and passion.

Evidence. There is a consistent finding of low reliability of at least some of

the subscales (Levy & Davis, 1988, N = 166 & 222, r = .63-.79; Tzeng, 1993, N =

633, r = .53 -.77, using the 1990 version). There was a failure of Storge and Pragma

to correlate significantly to other love related variables (Levy & Davis, 1988),

specifically the subscales of the Relationships Rating Form (Davis & Latty-Mann,

1987) and Sternberg's Triangular Love Scale (1987).

Hendrick and Hendrick (1989) factor analysed some commonly used

measures of love including their own. They found that the Love Attitude Scale

factors functioned as predicted - with six clean factors being produced. In a study of

similar intent, Tzeng (1993) also found that the Love Attitude Scale factored cleanly.

However, there have been other studies which have questioned its factor structure

(Feeney & Noller, 1990, N = 374; Murthy, Rotzien, & Vacha-Haase, 1996, N = 499;

Rotzein, Vacha-Haase, Murthy, Davenport, & Thompson, 1994, N = 499). Feeney

and Noller, and Rotzein et al. used confirmatory factor analysis. Feeney and Noller

also found that two Eros items loaded on the friendship factor and not with other

Eros items.

In sum, this measure has merits, is widely used and its properties understood.

However, there has been some questioning of its psychometric soundness and the

contents of the Eros factor perhaps lack breadth. The Eros factor does not

necessarily equate well with the kind of love that is both passionate and committed.

Hatfield and Her Colleagues

Distinctive characteristics. Hatfield has written about and researched the

experiences of adolescents in love extensively. One of her most important

achievements was the development of a scale to measure passionate love called the

Passionate Love Scale.

When developing the Passionate Love Scale (PLS), Hatfield and Sprecher

(1986) drew on the previous research and love-related scales of Tennov, Rubin and

29

Lee. Other research undertaken by Hatfield involved interviewing children,

adolescents, newlyweds and elderly couples about their love experiences. Hatfield

and Rapson (1998) also developed a measure of lovestyles which extrapolated from

the three item measure of attachment constructed by Hazan and Shaver (1987).

Hatfield's work (1988; Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986; Hatfield & Rapson, 1998)

has been pivotal in the current understanding of passionate love and in its

measurement. In writing about and researching passionate love, Hatfield has

distinguished it from companionate love. This distinction is relevant to the current

study. Hence, the work of these authors is described in some detail.

Definitions. Hatfield and Rapson (1998) defined passionate love as " A state

of intense longing for union with another. Passionate love is a complex functional

whole including appraisals or appreciations, subjective feelings, expressions,

patterned physiological processes, action tendencies and instrumental behaviors.

Reciprocated love (union with the other) is associated with fulfillment and ecstasy.

Unrequited love (separation) with emptiness, anxiety, or despair" (1998, p. 5).

Hatfield (1988) suggested that passion can be intensified by both positive and

negative arousal. She equated it with infatuation, obsession and "being in love".

She distinguished passionate love from companionate love which she defined

as "the affection for those with whom our lives are deeply entwined" (Hatfield &

Rapson, 1998, p. 3). While the highs of passion were acknowledged as being

blissful, Hatfield (1988) suggested that intimacy occurs in the quieter experience of

companionate love.

Major theoretical ideas. Hatfield (1988) suggested that passionate love was

associated with changed brain chemistry which induced mellowness, wellbeing,

meaningfulness, a sense of beauty and timelessness. She described these as "peak

spiritual experiences" and compared them to physiological changes induced by a

range of drugs. Later, she and Rapson (Hatfield & Rapson, 1998) described one of

the positive experiences of passionate love as being a state of euphoria. No

description of companionate spiritual bliss was made.

Hatfield and Rapson (1998) proposed that lovers fall roughly into one of six

categories in their love styles, determined by the level of comfort both with closeness

and independence (relationship dimensions which were taken from attachment

research). The love styles are: secure (comfortable with closeness and

30

independence), clingy (strong desire for closeness, discomfort with independence),

skittish (discomfort with closeness), fickle (uncomfortable with closeness and

independence), casual (low levels of involvement) and uninterested (not really

interested in relationships). Clingy lovers were found to be the most obssessed in

their love style, whereas secure lovers had lower levels of passion, and the skittish

were the least likely of the lovers to have experienced passionate love. Casual lovers

were found to be reluctant to engage in and commit to the unpredictable influences

of a serious love affair, while the uninterested were unwilling to be involved.

Both companionate and passionate love were described as being biologically

determined at least in part by attachment needs and as having cognitive, emotional

and behavioural components (Hatfield, 1988; Hatfield & Rapson, 1998). Hatfield

and Rapson were not categorical about the healthiness or unhealthiness of passionate

love compared to companionate love, yet they suggested that the latter is the

healthier. They said lovers with a clingy love style were more likely to love

neurotically and have high scores on passionate love. "Secure lovers are more likely

to do better at negotiating companionate, stable, intimate love" (Hatfield & Rapson,

1998, p. 192).

Evidence. There has been substantive evidence to support the use of Hatfield

and Sprecher's (1986) scales. Studies indicate that the Passionate Love Scale is

psychometrically sound (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1989; Tzeng, 1993). Stephan and

Bachman (1999) also found the love styles scale was useful in researching sexual

styles. Hatfield and her colleagues have researched passionate love extensively, but

they have studied companionate love much less.

In a study of passionate and companionate love by Sprecher and Regan

(1998) passionate love was found to be less overtly sexual than companionate love,

contrary to expectations. The two types of love were highly correlated with each

other and with relationship satisfaction and commitment. Respondents endorsed

companionate love more strongly. Women were more likely to experience

companionate love and positively associate passionate love and sexual excitement.

Passionate love was found to decrease over time.

Other research has found a slight decrease in passionate love over time

(Tucker & Aron, 1993). However, when passionate love was measured using the

Eros factor of the Love Attitude Scale (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986, 1990) the

31

expected decrement in passionate love has not been found in a number of studies

(Butler, Walker, Skowronski, & Shannon, 1995; Contreras et al., 1996; Grote &

Frieze, 1994; Montgomery & Sorell, 1997). Mallandain and Davies (1994) found a

significant negative correlation between age and Eros among 120 college students

(mean age 31). Two other studies, one using the Passionate Love Scale (Wang &

Nguyen, 1995) and one using interview (Reeder, 1996) both found passionate love to

be stable over the course of a relationship. The consistency of findings, which

counter the expected decrease in passionate love over time, call the passionate

love/companionate love construct into question.

Strengths and weaknesses. Hatfield and Sprecher's (1986) Passionate Love

Scale has been widely used. Hatfield has conducted research into passionate love

since the 1970s. She avoided a Western focus in her love research and has been

involved in cross cultural projects (Hatfield & Rapson, 1998; Sprecher et al., 1994).

Her recent book demonstrates a great breadth of knowledge on the subject of love.

In it she integrates studies from a range of psychological perspectives (including

behavioural, physiological and attachment) and she quotes extensively from experts

from a number of disciplines including anthropology and sociobiology (Hatfield &

Rapson, 1998).

Apart from her academic prowess Hatfield is a practicing clinician. Her

theorising on love is potentially enriched by the experience of working with couples

who have troubled relationships and helping them find the ingredients to healthier,

happier attitudes. Hatfield also described the importance of the caring, friendship

aspect of long term loving relationships in a compelling manner.

While this work has been a valuable contribution to understanding the nature

of passionate love, certain anomalies undermine Hatfield's (1988) conceptions of the

nature of love. When Hatfield and Sprecher were constructing their scale "We had

hoped to include some items designed to measure adolescents' efforts to get

physically close to the other, but lovers did not endorse such items and they were

dropped from the final version of the scale" (Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986, p. 194).

The term "physically" is ambiguous - does it mean sexual or bodily closeness? Such

ambiguity is inappropriate when operationalising passionate love. The reluctance to

include sexual closeness is inconsistent with other passionate love conceptualisations

(e.g. Person, 1988; Schnarch, 1991, 1997). Other researchers (Lamm & Wiesmann,

32

1997) suggest that sexual desire is a core element of passionate love for young

lovers. The exclusion of sexual closeness perhaps reflects the sexual shyness or the

religious orthodoxy of the participants interviewed. The 'attraction' in the Passionate

Love Scale is expressed somewhat modestly and without overt sexual lustiness.

Hatfield's reluctance to include expressions of overt lust and sexual behaviour means

that core content dimensions of passionate love are missing. However, Hatfield and

Rapson (1987) have acknowledged the close link between passionate love and sexual

desire despite this modesty.

Hatfield and Rapson (1998) expressed a blatant renunciation of passion in

long term love. Hatfield and Rapson used Sternberg's conception of companionate

love as comprising intimacy and commitment. Further, they used two of Sternberg's

subscales (intimacy and commitment) from his Triangular Love Scale - leaving out

the third passion subscale to construct a measure of companionate love. Sternberg

however described consumate love as complete and healthy and described it as a

balance of intimacy and commitment, as well as passion (Sternberg, 1998 ).

Hatfield and Rapson's description of companionate love is unnecessarily bland and

asexual and devoid of the attraction element that often exists in long term loving

relationships. Companionate love was described largely as friendship with very few

references to the sexual component of the relationship. Yet this conception is

inconsistent with evidence indicating how much pleasure and inspiration people in

long term relationships receive from their sexual relationship (Johnson, Wadsworth,

Wellings, & Field, 1994; Lister & Redbook Magazine, 2001). It also denies the

relationship between marital and sexual satisfaction (Waite & Joyner, 2001).

There is lack of conceptual clarity about how passionate love develops over

time and its relationship to companionate love. In introducing the Passionate Love

Scale Hatfield and Sprecher (1986) equated passionate love with "puppy love, a

crush, infatuation, love sickness, or obsessive love" (p. 195) and being on an

emotional roller coaster. The authors implied that passionate love was most likely to

be experienced intensely during adolescence. Adolescent university students (N =

136 and 164 for the two studies respectively) were used for both phases of scale

development and in the third study (N = 120) participants' mean age was 20 (and not

reported for the first two studies). Items were chosen which distinguished passionate

love most clearly from companionate love and instructions were given for

33

participants to consider their peak or most extreme feelings. In the second study,

passionate love was found to peak at the 'exclusive dating' stage.

Hatfield and Sprecher (1986) stated that passionate love usually evolves into

companionate love, although "passionate love may not necessarily die as

companionate love emerges" (Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986, p. 396) and may even last

in some form into the long term. The processes of falling in love, being in love and

maintaining love are not well enough differentiated in their theory. At times it is

implied that passionate love is equivalent to infatuation, but at other times it is

described in terms of a chemistry or aliveness in the relationship.

Also, the construct of companionate love needs to be more complex to

distinguish between couples whose love grows and matures and those for whom this

does not occur. Gottman (1998) argues that the maintenance of intimacy in long

term love depends upon people's lack of defensiveness and abilitity to process

conflict and disappointments and may be different from the effortless closeness that

arises when lovers "fall in love". It is suggested that companionate love can mature

when there is greater openness and ability to work with conflict and disappointments.

Long term loving relationships contain shared memories and usually will be precious

in some way. However, the quality of long-term relationships and the sense of

gratefulness and bounty within them will vary.

Another criticism of the companionate love construct is that it implies no

sense of personal growth or developing generosity. Differences in personal

development and the impact of these differences are not discussed. It may be that as

people grow and deal with the difficulties and joy that are inherent in long term

relationships, more generosity is possible and there is some evidence to suggest that

this may be the case (Feeney, Peterson, & Noller, 1994). Exploring such a

possibility seems incompatible with Equity theory (Hatfield, Greenberger,

Traupmann, & Lambert, 1982) which suggests that humans are fundamentally self-

seeking. This theory is perhaps an underpinning of Hatfield's work on love.

One of the greatest deficits of Hatfield's model is that she failed to make clear

enough distinctions between (a) passionate love and companionate love, and

(b) healthy and unhealthy love. Hatfield (1988) argued "The difference, then,

between passionate love and companionate love seems to be one of emphasis rather

than absolute differences. Passionate love involves ecstasy/misery. Companionate

34

love flourishes in a mixture of pleasure sprinkled occasionally with real-life

frustrations. Most people, of course, hope to combine the delights of passionate love

with the security of companionate love in their intimate relationships - and this, of

course, takes some doing" (Hatfield, 1988, p. 207). The particular characteristics

that are so delightful were not specified.

It would be helpful to distinguish between passionate love characteristics

which would be likely to enhance long term love (and are thus healthy) from those

that are not. For instance the characteristics of sexual attraction, lust and

constructive idealisation (like positive illusions, Murray & Holmes, 1997; Murray,

Holmes, & Griffin, 1996) are possibly healthy. Unhealthy passionate love

characteristics may include obsession, using love to substitute for one's own

inadequacies, emptiness with unrequited love and fantasy based idealisation. The

value of making this distinction is that the positive side of passionate love is then

more clearly described. Further, the cringe away from the whole of the passionate

love construct is no longer necessary. Mature love can then more comfortably

include passionate love characteristics which are considered healthy. The research

findings which indicate a positive relationship between passionate love and

relationship functioning (e.g, Contreras, Hendrick, & Hendrick, 1996) also then

make sense.

In summary, Hatfield and her colleagues have made some important

contributions to the understanding of passionate love. However, it appears that the

adaptive components of passionate love need to be distinguished from the unhealthy

ones. Also how love and passionate love change over time and with increased

personal maturity needs to be better understood.

Conclusion

Hatfield's theory of passionate love described a useful, scientifically sound

construct for young lovers - although it is perhaps overly modest. However, her

companionate love construction is bland and asexual and needs revision. There are a

number of findings to suggest that her conceptualisation does not square with

people's felt experiences of mature love. Mature love and mature passionate love

need to be conceptualised more clearly and distinguished from infatuation, and the

35

unhealthy aspects of passionate love explicated. The Eros subscale of Hendrick and

Hendrick's Love Attitudes Scale has few items and the majority seem dispensable or

somewhat inappropriate for long term relationships. Other measures of love that

have been developed either measure non-passionate aspects of loving (Hazan

&Shaver, 1987; Rubin, 1970) or the passionate measures are inadequate (Sternberg,

1986). The nature and measurement of passionate love in long-term relationships

needs to be researched. This chapter has demonstrated that up until now no

satisfactory or appropriate instrument has been produced. A new measure is needed

to foster a better understanding of mature love and mature passionate love. The next

chapter describes research on the nature of love and passionate love. Then in chapter

five it is shown that the theories of Schnarch and Fromm provide a sound theoretical

basis for the development of a new instrument to measure mature passionate love.

36

CHAPTER FOUR

Passionate Love Research

In earlier chapters some of the philosophically and the empirically based love

theorists have been described. In this chapter the nature and possible components of

passionate love are explored in more detail and related research is also presented.

The chapter begins by defining passionate love, distinguishing it from related

concepts, and discussing what its elements are. Then companionate love and the

domains purportedly relevant to passionate love (and used in the previous discussion)

are examined: sexuality, personal development and spirituality.

What is Passionate Love?

Various definitions of passionate love and romantic love are considered.

Once the construct of passionate love is conceptualised to some degree, relevant

research findings about the healthiness and incidence of passionate love and mature

passionate love are discussed. The g-factor of love, the biological antecedents, the

emotional, cognitive and behavioural aspects and the role of culture and gender are

then explored.

Definitions

Passionate and romantic love styles can be difficult to differentiate between

because they overlap significantly. Byrne and Murnen (1988) defined romantic love

as "a strong emotional attachment between two adults that includes liking, feelings of

tenderness and concern for one another's welfare, sexual desire, and - most often - a

belief in sexual exclusivity" (p. 296). Such a definition could comfortably be used

for passionate love in longer-term relationships.

Certainly the terms romantic love and passionate love are used

interchangeably or equated with one another. In his attempts to measure passionate

love Sternberg (1998 ) used the word "romantic" twice. Branden (1988) also defined

romantic love in terms of passion: "romantic love is a passionate spiritual-emotional-

37

sexual attachment between two people that reflects a high regard for the value of

each other's person" (Byrne & Murnen, 1988, p. 220).

The Australian Concise Oxford Dictionary (Moore et al., 1997) defined

passion as "intense sexual love" whereas romance is defined as "sentimental or

idealised love" and this distinction seems useful and broadly consistent with the

psychological literature. In the current study, it was proposed that romantic love and

passionate love are similar in describing the intense emotions directed to the beloved

in an intimate relationship. However, passionate love has a stronger emphasis on

arousal and sexuality, whereas romantic love suggests more idealisation and

sentimentality.

Inconsistent emphases are placed on various qualities by different authors in

describing or defining passionate or romantic love. Murstein (1988) suggested

"passionate love involves intense arousal and a strong sexual base, although

consummation may not take place because of external barriers or internally imposed

ones" (p. 29). He contended that it is developmentally followed by romantic love

which is " more focused on idealization of the other than on mainly the sexuality of

the other" (Murstein, 1988, p. 29). Romantic love was then thought to be followed

by conjugal or companionate love. However, the notion that passionate love

precedes romantic love, has not been proposed by other authors.

An important element in passionate love is physical and sexual attraction to

the beloved. Irrespective of the opinions of others, the beloved is seen as appealing,

beautiful or handsome in their own way and someone capable of eliciting sexual

excitement or longing. Baumeister and Bratslavsky (1999) defined passionate love

as "involving strong feelings of attraction for the other person. These feelings are

typically characterized by physiological arousal and the desire to be united with the

other person in multiple senses" (p. 52). While perceiving that sexual activity and

loving a partner may be somewhat independent phenomena, the authors noted that

romantic love and sexual attraction are often linked. They suggested: "perhaps the

best resolution is to treat sexual desire and even sexual behavior as crude measures

of passionate love, particularly when the data pertain to ongoing romantic

relationships" (p. 52).

Passionate love has been linked with other qualities as well as attraction,

sexual desire and arousal. As previously noted, Hatfield (1988) has suggested that

38

longing, emotional extremes and obsessive qualities are characteristic of passionate

love. Happiness is dependent upon whether the love was requited or not.

Companionate love has been contrasted with passionate love, but also seen as

a development from passionate love (Hatfield, 1988). Long-term love tends to

contain companionate elements - intimacy and commitment - which involves caring

for, receiving care from the beloved, interdependence and perhaps some selflessness.

It is suggested in the current study that this conceptualisation of mature love is

incomplete.

Mysticism has also been connected to the experience of passionate love by

Brehm (1988) and Person (1988). Person described the core of passionate love as

being "the lover's longing for the Other" (Person, 1988, p. 114). The place of

mysticism and spirituality in passionate love has seldom been investigated

empirically.

It is argued in the current study that the more obsessive and dependent

aspects of passionate love tend to diminish as relationships mature. This is

consistent with a study by Wang and Nguyen (1995) that found anxiety was only

related to Passionate Love Scale Scores among the young. Nelson, Hill-Barlow, and

Benedict (1994) found that longer-term love is enriched by the maturity and

independence of the lover. It is this healthier form of passionate love that is the

focus of the current study.

In summary, mature passionate love involves intimacy and commitment to

the beloved, which usually entails interdependence, some selflessness, giving and

receiving care and is influenced by the personal maturity of the lover. Sexuality,

arousal and attraction are certainly involved. Whether mysticism is part of the

mature passionate love construct is largely a theoretical rather than an empirical

proposition. It is distinct from infatuation by having a lower incidence of obsessive

and manic qualities and from romantic love because there is less idealising of the

beloved and the relationship and involves less sentimentality.

Ambivalent Findings on Romantic and Passionate love

A rather confusing picture emerges when examining current research on

passionate love and romanticism. There is evidence that romanticism is associated

with positive emotions (Regan, Kocan & Whitlock, 1998), relationship satisfaction

39

(Morrow & O'Sullivan, 1998; Sprecher & Metts, 1999), relationship enhancing

thought (Cate, Koval, Lloyd, & Wilson, 1995) and commitment (Sprecher & Metts,

1999). Hendrick, Hendrick and Adler (1988) found that Eros and Agape were

positively correlated with relationship satisfaction and Campbell, Foster and Finkel

(2002) found a positive relationship between Eros and self-esteem, but a negative

relationship between Mania and self-esteem. However, other research indicates

negative associations between romanticism, passionate love and relationship

outcomes since romanticism correlated with low self esteem (Dion & Dion, 1975)

and naivety (Medora & von der Hellen, 1997). Further passionate love has been

associated with insecurity (Attridge, Berscheid, & Sprecher, 1998), irrationality

(Byrne & Murnen, 1988) and unhealthy perceptions of sexual entitlement (Regan,

1998a). Hence, both romantic and passionate love have been correlated with positive

and negative attributes.

Among university students, there is evidence that romanticism diminishes

over a four-year period, except for those who become engaged. Further, those who

broke up were less likely to endorse romantic ideals (Sprecher, 1999) and single

mothers who had had an abortion and were currently sexually active were less likely

to endorse romanticism (Medora & von der Hellen, 1997). Therefore the tendency to

endorse romantic beliefs may be related to relationship stage and life circumstances.

One of the difficulties when examining studies on passionate love and

romanticism is that these concepts have been operationalised in different ways using

different measures. However, despite these caveats there is a sense that both

romanticism and passionate love among the young may be correlated with both

positive and negative relationship qualities, which could be somewhat difficult to

disentangle from one another.

Incidence of Mature Passionate Love

It has been noted that much of the research into passionate love has been

conducted on young student samples in US universities. The influence of

relationship stage on romanticism and the incidence of passionate love has received

little research attention. It may be that relationship qualities like obsession and

jealousy associated with the early stages of passionate love mature into qualities like

engagement, curiosity and interest in the beloved. However, there has been a dearth

40

of research into the experience of passionate love in long term relationships. The

little research that has been conducted does suggest both the presence of and

importance of passionate love in long term relationships.

Wang and Nguyen (1995) administered the Passionate Love Scale (PLS) to

four samples: adolescents, young adults, middle aged adults and elderly adults (N =

255). No age-related differences in levels of passionate love were found except that

the obsessive cognitive aspects of experience were found less frequently among older

respondents. There was no relationship between anxiety and passionate love scores

except among adolescents. This was interpreted as indicating that the passionate

aspects of the relationship were there but they took a more mature and healthy form

for older people.

Montgomery and Sorell (1997, N = 250) conducted a longitudinal study on

four life stage groups to investigate differences in love styles. The endorsement of

Eros from the Hendrick and Hendrick (1990) Love Attitude Scale did not differ

between single "in love" youth and married people with and without children living

at home, although the married adults were more likely to endorse Agape than their

younger single counterparts. Manic and Ludic love styles were also endorsed more

by younger respondents. The hypothesised development from an Eros-driven,

passionate, single lovestyle to a more Storgic attitude based on Hatfield's

companionate view of love was not found. Endorsement of Eros was associated with

relationship satisfaction.

Contreras et al. (1996) found that passionate love (measured by the Eros) was

the most important predictor of marital satisfaction among the lovestyles for 184

Anglo-American and Mexican-American married individuals. They concluded: "It is

important for counselors to be reminded that for couples of all ages, aspects of

romance and sensuality have an important place in their relationship. Passion may

look different at different stages but it is passion nonetheless" (Contreras et al., 1996,

p. 414).

Grote and Frieze (1994) examined patterns of marital satisfaction in relation

to traditionalism in family structure and distribution of family work. Marital

satisfaction (for the 530 participants married an average of 18 years) was negatively

correlated with the number of children at home for women and positively related to

spouse involvement in domestic tasks. They used structural equation modelling.

41

This involvement increased eroticism and friendship based love. Agape was also

significantly correlated with marital satisfaction (r = .66). The importance of love in

people's experience of long-term relationships was indicated by the fact that

friendship based love and Eros mediated the relationship between spouse

involvement and marital satisfaction.

Kurdek (2002) also found that initial measurements of love and changes in

the level were predictive of relationship satisfaction among couples newly wed and

couples married eight years. In a study of 213 married individuals who were married

on average 15 years Lemieux and Hale (2000) found passion, intimacy and

commitment were all strongly and independently related to relational satisfaction.

Reeder (1996) interviewed 79 romantic couples with a mean age of 30.5 and

found, contrary to their hypothesis, that sex, romance, desire, excitement and

togetherness remained resistant to the effects of age, although older respondents

tended to report affection less often. The author noted that whether or not sex

occurred less frequently, it remained central to the expression of passion. Reeder

concluded that the experience of and communication about love remained relatively

consistent across ages.

In another important study, Tucker and Aron (1993) used a cross sectional

and longitudinal design with 59 couples and concluded that passionate love was a

more important predictor of changes over the family life cycle than marital

satisfaction. Using the PLS the authors noted only small decreases in passionate love

over the years.

Butler et al. (1995) performed comparisons of the Love Attitude Scale across

two age groups with 428 respondents under 25 and 82 respondents who were 25 and

older. They concluded similarly to previous authors that the expected decrement of

passion (Eros factor) with age was not found. Endorsement of Mania and Agape

certainly decreased with age.

In sum, romantic and passionate dimensions of love were associated with

both positive and negative relationship outcomes. Much of the literature on love

examined the outcomes for young university students. The little research that has

been conducted on passionate love in long-term relationships indicates that it is

uniformly associated with positive relationship outcomes. The more obsessive,

anxiety related and needy aspects of passionate love were less a feature of long term

42

love. However, passion was still an important predictor of relationship satisfaction

in long term relationships.

G-factor

Some love researchers have suggested love is best described as caring

affection. This overall love, called a general or g-factor, forms the basis of its

components and various manifestations. For instance, studies by Thompson and

Borrello (1987) and Borrello and Thompson (1989) suggested the existence of a g-

factor where lovers were prone to obsessive thoughts about the beloved.

However, there has been a considerable amount of research based on the

assumption that love phenomena can be broken down into components (e.g.

Sternberg, 1986). Meyers and Berscheid (1997) asked 224 university students to

categorise people in their social world into the categories of people they "love",

people thay were "in love" with, those that they felt sexual attraction or desire for,

and those who were a good friend. Respondents were clearly able to differentiate

between all these terms which, the authors suggested, undermines the notion that

love is best described as a g-factor.

Sternberg and Grajek (1984) used a small (N = 85) community sample to find

the best way to represent love - as a unitary g-factor construct, as a construct with a

small number of correlated primary factors or as an entity with many affective,

cognitive and motivating bonds. Their results suggest the latter conception (which

was likened to a Thurstonian construct) was most consistent with their findings.

Although love might feel like a unitary experience, a series of bonds were

fundamental to the experience of love (e.g., desiring to promote the welfare of the

beloved, and being able to count on the beloved in times of need, Sternberg &

Grajek, 1984).

It is argued in the current study that distinctive qualities in the experience of

love exist and can be usefully specified. This position is consistent with love

theories that have described different love styles (e.g. Lee, 1998), that have

investigated different qualities of love (e.g. Hatfield, 1988) and those who have

suggested love has different components (e.g. Sternberg, 1998).

43

Biology, Hormones and Attraction

Research has linked the experience of passionate love with hormonal and

biological processes. The work of Helen Fisher is important in examining how the

biological processes may influence the course of a whole relationship. Fisher (2000)

discussed the neural correlates of the three emotion systems for mating, reproduction

and attachment. The neurotransmitters associated with changes in mood states

during the heights of passion include low levels of serotonin and elevated levels of

dopamine and norepinephrine (Fisher, 2000). Changes in the latter two produce

euphoria, physiological arousal, and hyperactivity according to Wood (1999). The

sex drive or lust is associated with oestrogens and androgens, and attachment is

associated with oxytocin and vasopressin. Each has evolved to serve a specific

reproductive function (Fisher, 2000). Pranksepp (1994) also suggested that prolactin

relates to nurturing behaviours and opioids and anti-opioids relate to social

processes.

Fisher (2000) proposed that like 97% of mammals, humans engage in serial

monogamy that lasts for the duration of the breeding season. Marriages that do

dissolve tend to do so around the fourth year, which is the mean time between

successive births and by which time both members of a couple may be ready to form

another attachment. Further, the independence of the emotional neural systems

associated with lust, attraction and attachment means that even though many people

chose long-term monogamous relationships, they are more biologically wired for

serial monogamy.

Buss (1988) argued that humans are biologically wired for parenting until the

children themselves reach reproductive maturity. The deep emotional bonds parents

form with their offspring, are consistent with human sociability - an argument that

counters that of Fisher (2000) by emphasising human qualities, rather than our links

with the animal kingdom.

The biological basis of the infatuation stage is supported by a large number of

studies (e.g.Buss, 1988; Buss, Shackelford, Choe, Buunk, & Dijkstra, 2000; Buss,

Shackelford, Kirkpatrick, & Larsen, 2001; Hatfield & Rapson, 1998; Tennov, 1998).

These studies describe the biological advantages of infatuation in the perpetuation of

the species, and the hormonal and bodily changes associated with the high of those

who are in the throes of "falling in love".

44

In sum, the influence of hormones and biology on forming and maintaining

relationships with a mate is still somewhat uncertain. The hormonal and neural

changes that relate specifically to the infatuation stage of love are understood better

and suggest that these changes promote mating and reproduction.

Love as an Attitude Involving Emotions, Behaviour and Cognitions

While some authors have described love principally as an emotion (e.g.

Schnarch, 1998), other authors have insisted that it is more complex (e.g. Fromm,

1962; Hatfield, 1988; Noller, 1996). In the current study, passionate love is

described and discussed as an attitude with emotional, cognitive and behavioural

components, a notion for which there is already some support (e.g., Marston, Hecht,

& Robers, 1987).

Love and the nature of emotion. The extent to which love or other emotional

states are cognitively or physiologically based has been the subject of an extended

debate. Early research on the link between emotional experience and physiological

states examined arousal. Based on Schachter and Singer's (1962) two-factor theory

of emotion, different emotions were thought to be associated with the same basic

state of physiological arousal. This theory spawned a great deal of research which

included the famous bridge studies conducted by Dutton and Aron (1974), in which

aroused participants (who had crossed a high, dangerous bridge) were more likely to

demonstrate sexual imagery on a thematic apperception test than non-aroused

subjects. Similarly, White, Fishbein, and Rutstein (1981) found aroused subjects

liked an attractive female more and an unattractive female less than unaroused

subjects. Passionate love was therefore assumed to comprise arousal and a label for

that arousal.

New physiological evidence has stimulated a movement away from the

Schachter and Singer model. The notion of discrete emotions giving rise to discrete

physiological states is now more accepted. Different emotions are thought to give

rise to different action tendencies - this is determined biologically at least to some

extent. Approach-related positive emotional states, for instance, have been shown to

be associated with left sided anterior brain electrical activity and withdrawal-related

negative emotional states were associated with right sided anterior activation

(Davidson, 1994).

45

However, the experience of emotion is also shaped by culture. Shweder

(1994) suggested that emotions are culturally affected interpretive structures around

affective and somatic experiences. Similarly, Lazarus (1994) argued that individual

and cultural values shape the emotional display.

Love and behaviour. The behaviour associated with romantic or passionate

love has not received a great deal of research attention. An exception is Lemieux

(1996) who developed a 37-item love behaviours scale using an undergraduate

sample. The five behavioural factors found were Mutual Activity, Offerings,

Selfless, Sacrifices, and Special Occasion. Both genders considered that love

behaviours are related to love but women thought them to be more important than

men (with the exception of the last factor).

Shaver, Hazan, and Bradshaw (1988) linked the behaviour of mothers and

babies to that of lovers. Both mothers and lovers were described as cooing, singing

and using baby talk. The processes were thought to involve similar attachment

urges.

Buss (1988) compiled a list of the 40 most commonly mentioned love acts.

The major categories mentioned included resource exchange, fidelity, marriage, sex

and having children. These were thought to be motivated by evolutionary needs and

to bring about reproductive advantages. In fact, Buss suggested that love acts are

more important than thoughts or emotions because they have tangible consequences.

Bergner (2000) stated that the willingness to act on behalf of the well being

of the beloved is an important characteristic of mature romantic love. Indeed,

Weigel and Ballard-Reisch (1999) found among 143 married couples that doing

things together and for each other increased wives' perceptions of love and husbands'

perceptions of satisfaction.

Cognition and love. Murstein (1988) and Noller (1996) both commented that

equating love just with feeling creates difficulty because feeling states fluctuate and

are unstable. Murstein proposed that classifying love as a judgement is better

because being in love requires a conscious decision. Noller argued that love is an

attitude with cognitive, behavioural and emotional components. Commitment helps

create stability in love, whereas feelings of love may come and go. Noller proposed

that society needs to emphasise the cognitive, behavioural and emotional aspects of

love, in order to support marriage and the family. Emphasising feeling states in love,

46

especially when these feelings are seen as uncontrollable, encourages unhealthy and

passive attitudes to relationship development.

Conclusion. Love could be regarded as an emotion with behavioural and

cognitive correlates or as an attitude which includes emotional, cognitive and

behavioural aspects. However, incorporating cognitive and behavioural components

in the classification of the experience of love may help to engender a more conscious

and healthy attitude towards it. Acts on behalf of the beloved are tangible

expressions of love and increase relationship satisfaction.

The Influence of Culture and Gender

Culture. Culture and gender differences have been a significant focus for

love and relationship research. The literature about these differences is considerable

and has important implications for understanding the contexts that people bring to

their relationships. There tend to be limits to the generalisability of any research to

people of different language, sexuality, age, relationship length, socioeconomic

group, ethnicity, colour, educational level, class, and exposure to Western, modern

and urban values. A few of the many studies that have discussed cultural differences

are presented.

One research focus has been to examine cross-cultural similarities in the

experience of love. Moore, R. L. (1998) suggested that both sexual and romantic

longing represent universal human qualities which are based on genetic and

attachment behaviours. Moore concluded that "Chinese do fall deeply in love and

experience the same joys and sorrows of romance as young Westerners do. But they

do so according to standards that require caution, slow pacing, and limited

experiences" (p. 280).

Doherty, Hatfield, Thompson, and Choo (1994) explored the experiences of

individuals (N = 308) from different cultures within Hawaii (European-American,

Japanese-American, Chinese-American and Pacific Islanders) and found no

differences were demonstrated in likelihood of being in love or in the intensity of the

experience of passionate and companionate love. Sprecher et al. (1994) conducted a

large cross-cultural love research project with university students from the US (N =

1043), Japan (N = 223) and Russia (N = 401) and found fewer than expected

differences in the love experience. The most commonly endorsed love style was

47

Eros and most participants agreed that love is the basis for marriage and were

somewhat romantic themselves.

Another proponent of similarity in love experiences was De Munck (1998)

who challenged the ethnocentric, pejorative perspective on arranged marriages,

saying they reflect differences in emphasis, rather than diametrically opposed world-

views. Romantic love between intended partners is an important element in choosing

arranged marriage partners but it is balanced against the need to please parents and

an economically constructive course of action.

In contrast, Dion and Dion (1988, 1996) have researched cross-cultural

perspectives on love and have emphasised that Eastern and Western love attitudes

are quite different. For instance, Dion and Dion (1996) found Asians tend to have a

more friendship orientation to love and Asian women were more likely to endorse an

Agape style than their Western counterparts. Their research suggests romantic love

is more likely to be endorsed by individualistic cultures. Dion and Dion (1988)

noted that Maslow's B-love or a non-needs based lovestyle represents a typical

Western or North American perspective. They suggested that this representation of

psychological maturity is very individualist in orientation and contrasted it to oriental

love styles which are more accepting of social attachment and dependency. Dion

and Dion proposed that love creates a dilemma for Americans because individualism

is so cherished but it conflicts with the sacrifice and compromise needed to create a

successful partnership. They were not surprised that the US divorce rate is currently

high.

Cancian (1987) made an interesting counter to arguments such as these by

suggesting that self-development is often confused with individualism and seen as

destructive. She suggested that self-development is ideally focused on increasing the

capacity for intimacy and hence encourages interdependence rather than

independence.

De Munck and Korotayev (1999) conducted an anthropological study of 75

societies and found that societies that prohibited premarital sex or adultery for

females were less likely to endorse romantic love. But societies that tended to

prohibit any premarital sex (for men or women) were more likely to endorse

romantic love. The authors conclude that sexual equality is an important basis for

romantic love. Also, sexually tolerant societies were more likely to endorse romantic

48

love than their non-tolerant counterparts. A study by Lev-Wiesel and Al-Krenawi

(1999) of 96 married Arabs of three religious groupings supported this notion.

The notion that love attitudes are to some degree socially constructed has

been argued by a number of authors (Barich & Bielby, 1996; Beall & Sternberg,

1995; Noller, 1996). These authors argued that the cultural reference points about

love influence behaviour, yet are informed by rules and interpretive structures which

people are not conscious of.

Gender. There is a considerable body of evidence that men and women

function differently in relationships and have different experiences of love. Acitelli

(1992) found wives talked more about their relationship than husbands did and took

on more of the task of relationship maintenance. Cate et al. (1995) found women

were more interpersonally responsive than men. Barich and Bielby (1996), in a

repeated cross sectional study of about 300 students over 27 years (1967-1994),

found women valued loving and affection more highly than men. A number of

studies have found that men are more likely than women to hold romantic attitudes

like believing in love at first sight (Barich & Bielby, 1996; Fehr & Broughton, 2001;

Sprecher & Metts, 1989), but although the differences were significant they were not

necessarily large. Sedikides, Oliver, and Campbell (1994) in two studies (N = 129

and 200) found men regarded sexual gratification as more important than women.

One fairly stable gender difference has been the finding that men tend to endorse

dismissing attachment relationship styles, whereas women tend to endorse

preoccupied and fearful relationship styles more, although a similar percentage of

men and women endorse the secure style (Feeney, 1996).

In a review of gender perspectives on love, Cancian (1987) gave constructive

ideas on these differences. She concluded that the feminisation of love (which

overemphasises emotional expressiveness and the capacity for vulnerability and

deemphasises instrumental "masculine" love expressiveness of caring behaviours and

sex) is destructive. The author reviewed research findings on relationships and love

and proposed that men's need for love tends to be denied and hidden, while their

need for independence and over involvement in work is overemphasised. Women

tend to become overinvolved in relationships and their independence is

deemphasised. Cancian concluded that the current trend in America towards more

49

androgynous gender perspectives on love is healthier psychologically and physically,

and represents men's and women's actual love needs more accurately.

In sum. Both gender and culture play a significant part in the experience of

relationships and love. Research does indicate significant and consistent differences

between men and women. Women tend to be better at maintaining relationships.

While these differences are consistently found they are not universally found and

tend not to be large. The current trend to more androgynous gender perspectives on

love may be positive.

Some evidence suggests that there are both (a) universal qualities (perhaps

determined by genes) and (b) differences among the cultures, but these influences are

complex and difficult to be precise about. Westerners may be more preoccupied

with maintaining their sense of autonomy - a factor which may contribute to the high

divorce rate. But Easterners have a more profound sense of belonging to a social

network and this diminishes the pressure on their intimate relationships. Yet another

view is that Westerners are more focused on personal development, which ideally

enhances the capacity for intimacy. Lastly, the sexual permissiveness of a culture

may influence the degree to which romantic love is endorsed within that culture.

Companionate Love- Non Sexual Elements in Loving Relationships

In this section companionate love is explored. It is argued that a mature

companionate love contains affection, enthusiasm, and engagement which involves

interdependence, openness, trust, communication and care-giving.

Companionate Love - An Appropriate Term?

The type of love that expresses the caring, deep involvement and attachment

towards a long term partner has been described in many ways - companionate love

(Hatfield, 1988), friendship based love (Grote & Frieze, 1994), Storge (Hendrick &

Hendrick, 1990) and brotherly love (Fromm, 1962). The use of each of these terms

has both benefits and drawbacks.

As previously noted, companionate love (Hatfield & Rapson, 1998) is widely

used to describe the love between long-term partners. There are deficiencies in this

description because it is overly asexual and bland, does not distinguish between

50

varying levels of personal autonomy expressed within long term relationships or

describe the spiritual sense of oneness that may arise. However, the term

companionate love is well understood.

The notion of friendship based love has been developed by both Hendrick

and Hendrick (1986, 1990) in their Storge factor of the Love Attitudes Scale, and

Grote and Frieze (1994) in their Friendship-based Love Scale. That there are shared

or overlapping concerns, attitudes and caring between special friends and partners is

logical and consistent with other research (Maxwell, 1985). The quality and depth of

attachment and intimacy with a long-term sexual partner may be much more

profound than it is with close friends or relatives living together, although the

attachment may certainly be deep with both.

One other concern with the Storge factor is that the measure does not describe

the construct comprehensively. While caring is mentioned, the companionship,

comfort, mutual activities and interests that were part of the original Lee construct

are not included in the Storge factor of the Love Attitude Scale (Hendrick &

Hendrick, 1990). Grote and Frieze (1994) however do describe the construct well

and add to Lee's description the qualities of affection, liking, trust and laughing

together. Their sample was large (with two studies N = 622 and 201) and the

research was impressive. However, the use of the term friendship based implies that

it could be used to measure other relationships, but the term was directed towards

intimate sexual relationships.

Fromm's (1962) term brotherly love is potentially useful because brotherly is

widely interpreted in a broader context than the love between male siblings.

However, because of the importance of using gender inclusive language, the term

would not be considered appropriate nowadays.

Affection and Enthusiasm

The process of loving another arouses affection that is experienced and

expressed emotionally, cognitively and behaviourally. The actions may take many

forms: considerate, caring behaviour, holding hands, kissing or sex. How affection is

shown may be influenced by culture, family of origin expressiveness, responsiveness

of partner, personal taste, extroversion, need for privacy, and immediate and past

relational patterns and exchanges.

51

The importance of affection in long term relationships is indicated by a large

scale survey of British adults where 67% of men and 68% of women thought

companionship and affection were more important than sex in a marriage or

relationship (Johnson et al., 1994). Gottman (1998) conducted short and long term

research on marital interaction patterns to determine what distinguishes happy

couples from unhappy ones. He suggested that expressing affection is an important

mechanism for keeping a sufficiently high ratio of positivity to negativity in the

marital interactions.

Closeness is influenced by the quality of the involvement in the relationship.

If the engagement is vital and stirring, if it is enthusiastic, there is a sense of passion.

Part of this enthusiasm is based on genuine curiosity about the beloved, a desire to

know, be known and share in each other's worlds. This curiosity and excitement

about the beloved is intrinsic to early passionate love and forms part of the construct

developed by Hatfield and Sprecher (1986). But to keep this vitality and interest in

someone you have known far longer may be more of a challenge. Gottman (1998)

suggested that estrangement may occur if couples do not face their difficulties and

struggles honestly enough. However, if too much negativity occurs couples become

distressed. So part of the process of maintaining the vitality of a relationship is

having the right ratio of positive to negative interactions (Gottman suggested 5 to 1 is

the ideal). Successful marriages also included the following ingredients in Gottman's

research: showing interest, care, appreciation, concern, empathy, acceptance,

playfulness and joy. These qualities seem likely to add to the enthusiasm of the

relationship.

Openness/Trust and Communication

Both trust and openness would seem to be core elements of loving

relationships. Openness is well represented in the personality literature - however its

importance in relationships is not as well known. One of the core elements of

openness in the present study is the ability to communicate, and listening and

expressing thoughts and feelings. The concept of trust and the destructive

consequences of its loss (e.g. when a partner has an affair) have been researched and

discussed theoretically at some length (e.g., Cole, 1999; Lake & Hills, 1979).

52

Lamm and Wiesmann (1997) found that for 99 students, trust was the most

highly endorsed distinctive feature of loving. Attachment theory characterises trust

as arising from good enough caregiving in the family of origin (Hadley, Holloway, &

Mallinckrodt, 1993; Hazan & Shaver, 1987). Trust at both the beginning and later

stages of a relationship has been shown to be associated with marital satisfaction

(Kurdek, 2002).

Wieselquist, Rusbult, Foster, and Agnew (1999) conducted two longitudinal

studies (study one N = 53 couples, mean age = 20 years, time = 10 weeks; study two

N = 65 couples, mean age 33 years, time = one year). A positive cycle occurred

where trust increased as partners set aside their own needs to enact pro-relationship

behaviours. Trust engendered commitment, commitment promoted pro-relationship

acts, which promoted trust, which then increased dependency. If however partners

fail the test to act in a pro-relationship way, the development of trust was inhibited.

The authors suggested that partners will at times sacrifice their own needs to satisfy

the other partner but will take it on good faith that that partner will reciprocate when

the time of need comes. This is consistent with interdependence theory.

Openness is one of the core and stable dimensions of personality according to

Costa and McCrae (1988). Open individuals are likely to be tolerant of others'

opinions, thoughts and actions. Investigation of marital maintenance behaviours by

Weigel and Ballard-Reisch (1999) indicated that openness as a maintenance strategy

(along with other strategies) was more likely to be employed in the early and later

years of marriage when the satisfaction levels were highest.

Relationship involvement entails expression of feelings as well as learning to

understand, know and resolve differences with the beloved. Good communication

was considered the most important element in maintaining a successful and lasting

relationship in an Australian study of 864 married and divorced and separated people

(Esmond, Dickinson, & Moffatt, 1998)

One of the key findings in the research of Gottman (1998) was that a couple's

capacity to handle conflict successfully was pivotal in determining marital outcome.

It is important to express, discuss and come to compromises on the differences that

are inevitably part of living intimately with another. Gottman found the capacity to

do this was based on these four strategies: calm down, speak non-defensively,

validation of the partner and repeating this process again and again. Couples who

53

avoid arguments particularly needed to concentrate on their emotional

expressiveness.

Aune, Buller, and Aune (1996) found emotional expression is less likely in

the early stages of relationships than in later stages. As relationships continue, rules

develop that allow greater expression of negative emotions. However, throughout

the course of relationships it was consistently found that it was considered more

appropriate to express positive than negative emotions.

Different communication dynamics come into play as relationships become

longer term. Cloven and Roloff (1994) found college students in romantic

relationships at low and average levels of intimacy tended to be reluctant to disclose

irritations (the lower the intimacy, the lower the tendency to disclose irritations).

However, once a certain level of intimacy was achieved, withholding irritations was

not then associated with a change in intimacy or increase in relationship continuity.

While it may not be adaptive to be overly critical or dwell on negative characteristics

of a partner, there is clear evidence that working through difficult issues is important

for relationship health.

The Relationship Beliefs Inventory measures dysfunctional relationship

beliefs like 'disagreement is destructive', 'mindreading is expected', 'partners cannot

change', 'sexual perfectionism' and 'the sexes are different' (Eidelson & Epstein,

1982). Such dysfunctional beliefs were associated with negative relationship

outcomes (Bradbury & Fincham, 1988; Bradbury & Fincham, 1993; Eidelson &

Epstein, 1982; Epstein, Pretzer, & Fleming, 1987; Moller & Van Zyl, 1991;

Townsley, Beach, Fincham, & O’Leary, 1991; Woodward, Carless, & Findlay,

2001). These beliefs diminish effective communication and problem solving.

Engagement

In the current study it was hypothesised that mature passionate love involves

being engaged with both the beloved and the relationship. There is empirical and

theoretical support for this notion.

Engagement involves labouring for and involvement with the beloved and the

relationship. Commitment to the relationship and being prepared to work hard for

and accept the ups and downs of life and relationships were more strongly

54

emphasised by intact couple members than their divorced or separated counterparts

in a study of 864 Australians (Esmond et al., 1998).

Knee (1998) developed implicit theories to distinguish between the belief in

destiny and attributes that are developed or grown. Belief in destiny among 265

university students was associated with passive behaviour and romanticism, whereas

the belief in growth was consistent with the notion that successful relationships entail

hard work and difficulties. Destiny belief predicted disengagement strategies and

growth belief predicted endorsement of relationship maintenance strategies.

Tzeng (1993) concluded that loving another provokes conflicts and

difficulties which require skill, faith, commitment and motivation to manage well.

Harvey and Omarzu (1997) described a process called relationship minding which

enhances closeness and positive functioning. This is a theoretical construct

describing behaviours that facilitate closeness in relationships. These include: (a)

behaviours aimed at knowing the partner, (b) attributions about partner which

provide a caring foundation for the partner's acts, (c) acceptance and respect for what

is learned about the partner, (d) reciprocity, (e) continuing to mind the relationship

consciously or unconsciously. These relationship skills seem blatantly obvious, yet

caring and engaged behaviour in a relationship is not necessarily easily achieved, nor

is there much research on it or theory about it.

Caregiving. Relationships can be seriously tested or ruptured during times

when care-giving is required. There is an opportunity to enact and express love and

concern for the partner or resist doing so. People's capacity to give constructive care,

rather than intrusive or neglectful care has been shown to be related to the strength

and nature of the attachment history (Feeney & Hohaus, 2001).

Feeney and Hohaus (2001) undertook quantitative and qualitative assessment

of the care-giving of 362 married couples who were married for an average of 13

years. The most constructive and satisfying care was given by participants who were

securely attached since they sought appropriate support (husbands), accepted spouse

needs, and expressed satisfaction with care provided (wives). Fearful spouses were

likely to be belittling of needs and the care giving was not problem focused.

Dismissing women were also inclined to adopt these patterns as well as not assisting

their husbands fully when needed. When partners were anxious, the care given was

more self-centred, with more difficulty setting aside one's own needs, and the

55

anxious person wanting care was more likely to be overly dependent and demanding.

A history of feeling unappreciated made it more difficult to give care in a

constructive manner for those with relationship anxiety.

Conclusion

Companionate love can usefully describe the caring and interdependent

orientation of long-term intimates. However, it does not express the passion,

spirituality or sexuality of long term relationships adequately. Companionate love

includes affection, enthusiasm and engagement. To be engaged with another

involves openness and trust (involving communication) and care-giving.

Personal Maturity

A somewhat confusing picture emerges when trying to distinguish healthy

interpersonal process from those which may not be as adaptive. Both autonomy and

dependence have positive correlates (Attridge et al., 1998; Saitzyk, Floyd, & Kroll,

1997) - a finding that seems at first contradictory. This discrepancy can be resolved

by examining what constitutes healthy dependence and whether it represents

personal emptiness or the capacity to rely on and be close to others.

Personal maturity has been represented as differentiation, which was

conceptualised by Bowen (1978) as the capacity to become autonomous from others

(an interpersonal process) and to separate thought and feeling (an intrapsychic

process). Differentiation enables (a) people to desist from emotional reactivity to

others, (b) more balance in thinking and feeling (c) separation from the family of

origin and (d) taking a stronger "I" position in relationships.

Skowron and Friedlander (1998) conducted three studies (N = 609) in the

process of developing a measure of differentiation. Repondents higher in

differentiation were less distressed and more satisfied, indicating support for

Bowen's theory. In a much smaller study (Skowron, 2000, N = 39) more marital

satisfaction was associated with higher differentiation.

Using a small sample of 40 couples Nelson, et al. (1994) found that people

who were more self-actualised and confident were more able to love others in a

mature way. Sexual and relationship satisfaction were correlated and the former was

56

related to maturity. More mature participants were more likely to be satisfied and

adjusted.

A study by Dion and Dion (1996) apparently produced opposite findings.

The authors explored research (including previous work of their own) linking self-

actualisation and love. Individuals higher on self-actualisation seemed to enjoy their

experience of being in love more than less self-actualised people but the latter

seemed to care more about their partners. However, the measure used was the Rubin

(1970) loving subscale and the care items (e.g. I feel responsible for _____'s well

being) may not really be measuring care but emotional fusion. Dion and Dion (1988)

reported that dependency was lower among self-actualised partners.

Birtchnell (1986) described romantic love as immature and contrasted it with

conjugal love which requires that partners have each attained an adequate degree of

separateness and "at the same time allow themselves to become physically and

emotionally close. Relationships which are not intimate are characterized by

excessive degrees of dependence, directiveness or detachment" (p. 157). For

sustained marital closeness there needs to be separateness, equality, flexibility and

closeness. Murstein (1988) also suggested excessive dependency is a hallmark of

psychological inadequacy and love addiction.

Two studies potentially contradict the purported negative influence of

dependence. Attridge et al. (1998) developed a dependency scale tested on young

university students and found dependency in relationships was associated with more

relationship satisfaction, trust and love. Higher levels of dependency were associated

with lower levels of insecurity. Wieselquist et al. (1999) reasoned that greater

dependency increased investment, commitment and trust between partners in a

circular and reinforcing manner. Both these studies were considered consistent with

Interdependence theory and the former was considered consistent with attachment

theory.

The capacity for interdependence (relying on, receiving from, investing in

and being committed to the relationship with the beloved) was shown to be an

important aspect of engaging in the relationship (Attridge et al., 1998; Van Lange et

al., 1997; Wieselquist et al., 1999). Also, the capacity to balance autonomy and

interdependence in providing and receiving care was found to be associated with the

highest level of marital satisfaction (Saitzyk, Floyd, & Kroll, 1997).

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Attachment theory certainly suggests that the ability to feel comfortable

relying on and trusting others is more likely among people who had a positive

experience in their family of origin (Hazan & Shaver, 1987). However, excessive

dependency may stem from personal insecurity or immaturity and diminish the

quality of the relationship - a behaviour that is suggestive of anxious attachment.

The function of dependency early in a relationship may differ from its function later,

when a relationship is established and the level of commitment is known.

Vatcher (2001), a feminist therapist, cautioned that an overemphasis on

autonomy is a perpetuation of a masculine perspective on psychological health that is

damaging to both men and women. She proposed that an overemphasis on

separation and individuation has led to women being judged as immature and

dependent. Vatcher suggested that healthy psychological and couple functioning

involves "interdependency, connection and mutuality in intimate relationships" (p.

70).

Cancian (1987) also argued that interdependence is healthier than

independence (which tends to be emphasised in male relationships) or excessive

dependence (a trend in feminine relationship functioning). She noted that both

excessive dependency and independence can be a defense against the fear of

dependency that developed in childhood when physical survival required the

assistance of others. As a result "he may deny his needs for help and intimacy and

withdraw from close relationships, or he may rigidly and unconsciously repeat

infantile dependency" (p. 114). Mature interdependence develops by moving

between dependence and independence, and learning about trust and separateness.

Yet mature interdependence is not easily achieved. Men tend to need to learn to be

more aware of and expressive of their emotional needs. However, women tend to

need to be encouraged to be instrumental, less emotion and relationship focused and

more involved in achievement. A more androgynous style, with a balance of the

capacity to be dependent and independent is healthy, according to Cancian.

In Sum

Theoretical and empirical evidence suggests that relationships are more likely

to be emotionally and sexually satisfying with greater differentiation, and

differentiated partners have been found to be less distressed. A certain amount of

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dependency may enhance engagement in and commitment to the relationship, but it

is suggested that excessive dependency undermines the quality of the relationship.

Both excessive dependence and excessive independence need to be transformed into

interdependence, a more androgynous and healthy relationship balance.

Eroticism, Sexual Arousal and Sexuality

In the previous chapter it was argued that the importance of sexuality and

eroticism is under-emphasised in current psychological theory and research. In order

to examine this proposition, research on sexual attitudes across a range of ages and

relationship stages is examined. The literature on attraction and passion is also

examined.

Sexuality

What are the actual sexual behaviours of people in relationships? Johnson et

al. (1994) conducted very large scale, random sample research (N = 18,876) into

sexual practices in the United Kingdom. Among respondents who were currently

married or cohabiting with a partner there was a consistently higher frequency of

heterosexual sex (acts of oral, vaginal and anal intercourse) between couples who

had been living together less than two years, than those who had been living together

2-5 years and again than those who had been living together more than six years.

Older people were somewhat less likely to have sex and this is partly explained by

their longer relationships. Overall 3% of married men and 3.7% of married women

reported no vaginal intercourse, but for those over 45 the percentages rise to 5.8%

and 9% respectively. The repertoire of sexual behaviours was likely to be more

diverse among those who were younger, not married and had a larger number of

partners. Orogenital contact was more likely among the younger respondents, but

was popular overall and 70% had some experience of cunnilingus or fellatio.

The factors thought to make a happy marriage were in decreasing order of

importance: faithfulness, mutual respect, sex, having children, shared interests,

shared chores, adequate income and shared religious beliefs. So sex was important

but not of pre-eminent importance, yet 69% of men and 70% of women thought sex

gets better the longer you know someone (Johnson et al., 1994).

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Similar trends were found in two large studies on sexual practices among US

citizens. Call, Sprecher, and Schwartz (1995) found in a survey of 7,463 people that

sexual frequency tended to decrease with age, ill-health and with habituation to the

relationship. Those who had married again tended to have somewhat higher rates of

sexual contact than their counterparts in longer-term relationships. Waite and Joyner

(2001) in a study of 3,432 people, found that people in long term or married

relationships were more physically and emotionally satisfied with sex than those who

did not expect their relationships to last or whose relationship was not sexually

exclusive. Further, physical pleasure and emotional satisfaction in relationships was

higher among respondents who had sex more frequently and when the women had

more frequent orgasms. Clearly sexual satisfaction is associated with relationship

satisfaction and more likely to occur in committed and faithful relationships.

Data which examined sexually inactive couples reinforce notions about the

relationship of sex activity to relationship health (Donnelly, 1993). Sixteen percent

of a 1987/1988 US National Survey of Families and Households had not been

sexually active in the preceding month. This sample subsection was more likely to

be unhappily married, do less with their partner, be older, have preschool children,

have fewer children, and be sicker. The author concluded that not having sex was a

danger signal for many marriages. Interestingly, sexually inactive partners were less

likely to fight over sex. Schnarch (1997) maintained that conflict about sex is part of

a healthy relationship. In another smaller quantitative and qualitative study (N = 82)

by Donnelly, Burgess, Anderson, Davis, and Dillard (2001), partnered celibates

reported that sexual rejection and frustration caused problems in other areas of their

relationships.

A repeated cross sectional study among US university students found that

tolerance towards and practice of pre-marital sex had grown considerably between

1967 and 1994 (Barich & Bielby, 1996). Hendrick and Hendrick (1992) summarised

five studies that showed a similar progression of tolerance between the 1950s and the

early 1970s. This change in sexual mores would presumably influence sexual

attitudes, sexual guilt and sexual behaviour and this change in attitudes needs to be

kept in mind when comparing sexual practices and satisfaction between people of

different ages. The influences of age, relationship stage and prevailing sexual norms

may be difficult to disentangle from one another.

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Birnbaum, Glaubman and Mikulincer (2001) developed a scale of women's

sexual experience (N = 791) with Israeli women and found that among a section of

sexually functional women, sexual experience was associated with loving and

receiving love, and interdependence. However for anorgasmic women, sex tended to

be experienced with feelings of not being loved and these women tended to have

relationship problems.

One issue that is often not addressed in discussing married sexuality is the

degree to which it is preserved into older age. Several studies have attested to the

maintenance of active sexuality into later life. In a large survey of older men aged

58-94 (N = 1,202) an active sex life was found among men who were not socially

isolated or in poor health (Bortz, Wallace, & Wiley, 1999). In another similar study,

Bortz and Wallace (1999) described the continuance of an active sexual relationship

among male and female members of a national 50 plus fitness club (N = 1039). The

fitter participants also reported higher levels of sexual satisfaction and activity. In

another study by Zeiss and Kask-Godley (2001), older adults who had health

concerns were less inclined to be sexually active. The health issue tended to precede

the decline in sexual activity. However, for some of the less healthy older adults,

new strategies could enable continued sexual enjoyment. The capacity to adapt was

found to be partly due to psychosocial factors. If cultural expectations were of older

age sexual inactivity, there tended to be diminished persistence. The authors argued

that the prevailing attitude among many Western cultures could have a negative

influence upon the sexual expression of older adults.

Other research has suggested that sexual styles may be related to love types.

Stephan and Bachman (1999) used Hatfield and Rapson's six love types (four of

which the authors suggested were parallel to attachment types) to measure

differences in sexual styles among mostly unmarried university students. They

found the Secure type were the most sexually restrictive and the Casuals were the

least. Secure people tended to shy away from destructive behaviours, emotionless

sex and substitution with fantasy, but Fickle and Casual types were inclined to

engage in these behaviours.

Roberts (1992) noted that both romantic love and sexual attraction are

forgotten variables in marital therapy. He opined that many of the presenting marital

problems are emotionally based and do not necessarily respond to the verbal

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processes of therapy. A number of interventions were suggested which work more

directly on the affective, attraction and erotic elements of the relationship - foci that,

the author suggested, have been sorely missing from marital treatments.

Snyder (2000) suggested that the current social climate objectifies women

and results in women being dissatisfied with their bodies. Also sex is a taboo

subject. This diminishes people's capacity for eroticism. Snyder used a combination

of narrative and relationship enhancement therapy to assist couples in enabling

themselves and each other to rediscover their eroticism.

Everaerd and Laan (1995) noted that couples came to therapy with an

expectation that sexual motivation will be spontaneously sustained or recaptured.

They discussed the fact that fantasies about love and a sense of its mystery contribute

to irrational expectations of spontaneous resolution of difficulties in the experience

of love and sexual expression.

The literature linking passionate love, romantic love and sexual behaviour

makes some important distinctions between personal ideals and real life relationship

behaviours. Cramer and Howitt (1998) suggested that conceptually, people believe

sex and romance and caring behaviour are linked but in reality "at a level of fantasy,

romance plays a relatively minor role in stimulating erotic excitement. It is

suggested that romantic love and erotic excitement are distinct components of

experience" (p. 128).

Attraction

Attraction is an elusive, non-rational experience which is difficult to control.

Partners who set out to allure their mate may be successful by engaging in known or

novel behaviours (e.g., wearing sexy underwear). However, if due to circumstances

there is a decrease in physical attraction because of weight gain or physical

disfigurement for instance, attraction may not be easily recovered. Probably the

tendency of the media to link the young and the beautiful with sex and sexuality is

not helpful to the maintenance of attraction in long term relationships.

As previously discussed, sexual attraction is thought to be influenced by

physiological states. Further, arousal is thought to increase the level of perceived

attraction (Davidson, 1994; Dutton & Aron, 1974; White, Fishbein, & Rustein,

1981).

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Buss et al. (2000) found evidence among 731 young university students from

US, Netherlands and Korea that the physical attractiveness of a rival lover was

threatening. However, beauty was considered relatively more important for women

than handsomeness was for men. For men, a rival who had better financial and job

prospects and greater physical strength, was considered more threatening. The

authors concluded that mate value was determined by evolutionary factors.

Berscheid (1988) suggested that love is fundamentally based on sexual

arousal and desire. Regan (1998b) found sexual desire was conceptualised by

undergraduate students as being the "thermometer" of relationship quality which

indicated levels of relationship interest and commitment. Participants viewed

partners with high desire as exhibiting more trust, relationship satisfaction,

faithfulness and desire for relationship maintenance than those with low desire.

Lister and Redbook Magazine (2001) polled married men and women aged

25 to 45 about their sex lives via the internet. The authors were overwhelmed when

10,000 people (between the ages of 18 and 45) responded enthusiastically. The

conclusion the authors reached was that people want to hear about and discuss happy

marriage and good marital sex. Only 21% responded that they desired their spouse

less than before they were married, while 56% said they desired the spouse as much

and 23% desired the spouse more, although these figures are unlikely to be

representative.

Passion and Intimacy

Baumeister and Bratslavsky (1999) tested the hypothesis that passion arises

from changes in intimacy levels over time. They concluded that the evidence was

supportive, although far from overwhelming. Intimacy was described as being based

on knowledge whereas passion was described as being an emotion and therefore

transitory and a response to a change in stimulus. Implications of this hypothesis

proposed by the authors are that couples who become intimate very quickly (e.g.

extroverts and lesbians) are likely to experience a concomitant rapid reduction in

passion. Further, long-term couples may find that sex is particularly good or likely

after making up from a fight, since intimacy has been regained. Evidence supporting

their assertion was quoted and included the fact that the incidence of sex decreased

slowly over the course of the marriage. Baumeister and Bratslavsky (1999) argued

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that the face to face coital position promotes intimate engagement with a partner and

therefore stimulates passion - a biologically favourable outcome.

Sternberg also noted that predictability undermines passion. Intimate contact

with a beloved in the early stages of a relationship is unpredictable and according to

social learning theory this uncertainty is particularly rewarding. Intermittent

reinforcement or rewards that come at unpredictable intervals have been shown to

arouse more interest than continuous rewards or no rewards (Sternberg, 1998 ).

Boteach (1999), the Rabbi author of Kosher sex, suggested that passionate

sexual engagement is enhanced by periods of sexual restraint. The author advocates

two weeks of sexual restraint during a woman's menstrual cycle, which he suggested

feeds the couple's lust and sexual hunger.

A logical extension of Baumeister and Bratslavsky's (1999) model is that

personal growth would enhance both intimacy and passion. Passion becomes more

possible because it is based on a growing and changing conception of the lover and

beloved, whose intimacy would fluctuate as the self expands to accommodate new

understanding.

Eroticism

Eroticism is expressed in the quantity and variety of sexual behaviour, but

more importantly in the quality of the display: how easy, playful, pleasurable,

sensual, and exploratory the experience is, and how open, energetic and willing the

engagement is. This is informed by internal influences: for instance, each person's

physical health, their boundaries and rules, anxiety over acceptance of their style,

tastes and ability, confidence with flirtatiousness, their attractiveness, their sense of

their own attractiveness, sexual orientation, and sex role identity. People's eroticism

may also be influenced by external and social influences: culture (including views on

sexuality, gender roles and homosexuality), religion, family rules, mental state,

attachment history and life experience.

Kleinplatz (1996) defined eroticism as "the intent to contact and arouse

another ….[and to enhance] sexual pleasure for its own sake" (p. 105). She

suggested that technical proficiency and genital or orgasm focus can often lead to

sexual boredom. Sexual experience is enhanced by a sense of mystery,

experimentation, and exploring areas which are embarrassing, unknown, risky and

64

leave people emotionally vulnerable. However, the author suggested that the

enhancement of eroticism is complex, socially proscribed, and rarely discussed by

sex therapists (Schnarch being a rare exception). She concluded "the passion of

eroticism may perhaps be most profound when both partners sense the metaphoric

penetration of one another's deeper, inner, hidden selves" (p. 110), an experience that

may lead to catharsis.

Esmond et al. (1998) interviewed 864 individuals and compared couples who

had stayed together to individuals from relationships that had not survived. Among

the important elements that differentiated the intact couples from the separated and

divorced ones, was the understanding that to be sexually satisfied, it was important to

make time to fulfill each other's sexual needs and be sexually creative.

In Sum

These findings suggest the importance of sexuality (a) for people in long-term

relationships and (b) as a focus for therapy for people in long term relationships.

While the incidence of sex may decrease somewhat with habituation, research has

found sex continues to be seen as important and pleasurable and also tends to be

viewed more favourably in long term relationships. The appeal of different sexual

styles was found to depend upon attachment type. Some healthy older adults were

still sexually active and those who were not healthy were sometimes able to adopt

new strategies to continue sexual activity, although this was less likely if sex was

socially proscribed. Attraction was found to be biologically determined in part.

Some evidence for its maintenance in long term relationships was found. Passion

was also hypothesised to be influenced by changes in intimacy.

Spirituality and Mysticism

Up until now the link between spirituality and passion has not been explained

logically or discussed at any length, although the theoretical link described in the

literature (e.g., Person, 1988) has been alluded to. It is proposed that spirituality and

passion are linked because they can both entail states of rapture and/or

transcendence, use similar language and the sense of connection in both produces a

core sense of meaning. Sexuality and spirituality can be important aspects of an

65

individual's identity, relationship identity and the expression of both. It is suggested

that both the spiritual and sexual drives are powerful, in tension with one another and

richly connected.

In this section the relationship between, (a) spirituality, religion and

relationship functioning, (b) sexuality and religion, and (c) passionate love and

mysticism, and (d) sexuality and mysticism, are explored. Some initial definitions

are given.

Definitions

Religion. Religion aims to encourage a close relationship between people

and God, through its structures, rules and practices. Also, religious moral precepts

ideally enable people to live harmoniously and respectfully among others. Piedmont

(1999) described religion as providing a social emphasis on encountering the divine.

Kernberg (1994) suggested that mature religiosity needs to enhance the society-wide

development of universal values. The need for such moral regulation, Kernberg

argued, is evidenced by the terrible destruction (e.g. 20th century genocide) that

occurs when the superego and the ego ideal functions are underdeveloped within the

individual, the society and religion.

Spirituality. Spirituality on the other hand is more concerned with people's

notions of or personal experience of God or higher Self, and the meaning derived

from those notions or experiences. Spirituality can be experienced independently of

religion. Barret and Barzan (1996) discussed the importance of the distinction

between internal and external authorities in spirituality and religiosity respectively.

Witmer and Sweeney (1992) defined spirituality as "certain life-enhancing beliefs

about human dignity, human rights and reverence for life" (p. 141), but also

emphasised its contribution to a sense of values and purpose in a person's life. This

is a more secular spiritual perspective which could be held by an atheist with a

humanistic framework. Such perspectives may also acknowledge wholeness and the

importance of loving to the dignity and morality of life.

Giblin (1996) suggested that spirituality does not necessarily need to involve

a transcendent power or being. He suggested it involves the finding of meaning, the

experience of growth, increased energy and vitality, as well as a person's sense of

their body and their feelings.

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Mysticism. Mysticism involves the experience of altered states of

consciousness, the transcendence of ordinary awareness into trance like states of

spiritual rapture and/or ecstatic union with God. Mystic traditions exist in most

religions and are centred on the lives of various saints like Meister Ekhart and St

Theresa of Avila in Christianity, Jalaladin Rumi and Hafiz in Islam, and Shankara

and Sai Baba of Shirdi in Hinduism. Also various texts discuss the nature of and the

methods of attaining mystic states (e.g. the Jewish Kabbalah).

Mystical experiences have been described in the psychological literature as

peak experiences and have been reasonably well documented (e.g. Breed & Fagan,

1972; Davis et al., 1991; Ebersole, 1972; Hoffman, 1998; Kokoszka, 1992-1993;

Mathes et al., 1982b; Wilson & Spencer, 1990). Mystical experiences among 411

undergraduates were reported as being more likely to occur among Roman Catholics

than Protestants and among respondents with a higher feminine gender orientation

(Mercer & Durham, 1999).

Hoffman (1998), Maslow's biographer, noted that Maslow described peak

experiences in somewhat non-religious terms. The subsequent research into peak

experiences has been more consciously spiritual in its focus (e.g. Wilson & Spencer,

1990).

Persinger (1983, 1992) suggested that so called mystical experiences are the

result of disruption to biochemical functions. They were thought to originate in the

temporal lobe and to entail electrical microseizures that have reward value to the

experiencer. Yet even if these experiences can be explained biochemically they are

no less valid.

Spirituality and Religiosity in Intimate Relationships and Marriage

Important associations have been found between religiosity/spirituality and

the experience of relationships and marriage. Spiritual and religious frameworks are

involved in the conceptualisation and enactment of relationships and marriage.

Religiosity affects the stability of marriage both positively and negatively. A

US national probability sample of 4,587 married couples found partners who shared

religious beliefs and practices were more likely to stay together (Call & Heaton,

1997). However, spouses who differed in their church attendance were less likely to

stay together.

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In a naturalistic study of 240 adults of ways love is expressed, maintained and

formed (Tzeng, 1993), faith was considered a very important component among

Westerners, and among Asian societies fate more exactly described the spiritual

component. The other components derived were intimacy, commitment and passion

and this was consistent with Sternberg's (1986) conceptualisation and a development

of it.

In a literature review Giblin (1996) found that 15 separate studies had

indicated a positive association between religiosity and relationship satisfaction. He

noted that other studies linked healthy family and marital functioning to religiosity.

Wilson and Musick (1996) found using a subsample of a US national survey

(N = 5,648) that irrespective of relationship satisfaction, religiosity is associated with

marital dependency and commitment. Further, Wineberg (1994) found that the

chances of reconciliation after a trial separation were greater with higher religiosity,

while Canabal (1990) found a decreased probability of marital dissolution among

2,125 Peurto Rican women when they were religious. Gorsuch (1988) noted that

religious people have extramarital affairs and premarital sex at half the rate that non-

religious people do and that religiosity is correlated with a range of improved mental

health parameters.

Mahoney, Pargament, Tarakeshwar, and Swank (2001) in a meta-analysis of

94 studies found that there was less divorce, more positive parenting and improved

child adjustment among religious people, although the effect sizes tended to be

small. Booth, Johnson, Branaman, and Sica (1995) conducted a longitudinal

investigation of 1008 married people and suggested that religion and marital quality,

are linked, but not strongly.

Other studies have found an association between religiosity and unhealthy

behaviour or attitudes towards sexual intimates. Burris and Jackson (1999) found

among 90 undergraduate students evidence that intrinsic religiosity was associated

with greater sympathy for an abuser whose partner violated religious values, but

liking for the victim if she upheld religious principals. McRae and Kohen (1988)

found that less attribution of blame to spouse in divorce was more likely with

increased secularisation.

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Sexuality and Religion

Sexual expression and the capacity for eroticism may be influenced by

religious sensibilities. A person's sense of right and wrong, good and bad and what

constitutes appropriate and acceptable sexual behaviour could be influenced by the

individual's disposition, his/her society, religion, and sect within the religion. For

instance, an adolescent orthodox Jew living in Melbourne will be influenced by his

exposure to sexual mores in the wider society, his family's representation of those

mores, and his parent's intimacy, sexual expression, comfort with and enjoyment of

sex. His attitude towards his sexual impulses and desire to satisfy them will be

influenced by his peers, by the strength of his lust, and by his interpretation of the

cost of breaking rules about sexual expression and the benefits and costs of abiding

by those rules.

Runkel (1998) in a literature review, linked Christianity to asceticism and

sexual guilt. Passion was portrayed through Christian literature as causing suffering.

The Catholic church and its institutionalised celibacy produces sexual anxiety and a

fear of women among men, according to Runkel. Sex is reduced to reproductive

functions and evidence was cited showing an inverse relationship between coital

frequency and both church attendance and religious conviction. However, sects that

do not require celibate priests may be less likely to represent sex in unhealthy ways.

Homosexuality is also proscribed by some sects and induces guilt among some gays

and lesbians according to Barret & Barzan (1996).

Sternberg (1998 ) noted that Hinduism acknowledges the importance of

sensual love by including Kama ("desire, affection, love, lust or sensual pleasure", p.

91) among the four goals of life. The Kama Sutra is a holy Hindu treatise glorifying

the many expressions of sexuality and eroticism. Yet Hinduism contains among its

vast umbrella monastic sects that require celibacy among monks and promote

retention of spiritual energy rather than expenditure through sexual activity.

Judaism models more acceptance of sexuality than Catholicism because its

priests are not celibate. Further, Rabbi Boteach (1999) argued "Far from merely

allowing sex as a concession to man's primal instincts, or prescribing sex solely as

the means for procreation, Judaism has argued from its inception that sex is the

holiest experience and undertaking known to man" (p. 44). Yet the orthodox dictum

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of only having sex within marriage, at certain times of the month and after

purification rituals is to some extent at odds with guilt-free sex for Jews.

Islam is sometimes enacted in a way that makes women subservient to and

less privileged than men (Meyer, Rizzo, & Ali, 1998). There are also strong

proscriptions against homosexuality (Halstead & Lewicka, 1998). Kelly Jr., Aridi,

and Bakhtiar (1996) compared values of 122 Muslim men and women living in

Washington with other norms and found a general devaluing of hedonism and low

levels of sexual acceptance.

Buddhist Tantra uses a combination of Hindu yogic, Taoist and Buddhist

teachings and was traditionally practiced in China, India and Tibet. The teachings

involve working with and transforming sexual energy and passion which are

represented as sacred life forces to enhance the spiritual state of the aspirant. This

contrasts with other Buddhist practices that involve denial of such urges (Tibetan

Buddhism on the world wide web).

Moore, T. (1998) in his book The Soul of Sex reviewed the sexuality depicted

in ancient Greek literature, where the Gods and Goddesses were portrayed as overtly

sexual with themselves, with humans and one another. Ceremonies involving

waving giant phallic symbols were represented in Aristophanes' play "The

Acharnians". A similar voluptuousness and comfort with the erotic was

demonstrated in ancient Roman literature where Venus, the Goddesss of sex,

coquetishly and playfully enticed. Yet Moore reiterates in his book that the division

of the erotic and the "soulful" is perilous to the quality of life and sex. He also

described sex as being involved in religious rituals for thousands of years "since it

involves an obvious, powerful metaphor for relationship with the divine" (p. 153).

Passionate Love and Mysticism

Brehm (1988) compared the agony and the ecstasy of passionate love with

the experience of the Christian mystics, particularly St Teresa of Avila. Using the

writings of Stendhal and the empirical work of Tennov, Brehm concluded that there

were many parallels between passionate love and mystical love for God. These

parallels included intense attention on the beloved, involuntary process, the goal

being oneness with the beloved, and mood states involving euphoria, painful

yearning and bleak depression. The experiences of infatuation or mystic states of

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rapture were based on the power to imagine a better world. She considered that it is

not uncommon for passionate lovers to experience a loss of self to the beloved and a

desire to self-sacrifice for the beloved.

Person (1988), like Brehm, argued that this experience of passionate merging

or self-transcendence has a mystical quality. However, she maintained that the

experience of merging needs to be followed by the experience of autonomy and

separateness, only then can the experience of union enrich rather than enslave the

lover. Further, the lover needs to have a sufficient sense of separateness to have a

love object. Similarly, De Rougemont (1956) suggested that the erotic and the

mystical "speak one same language" (p. 57). Further, he noted that "Eros… requires

union - that is complete absorption of the essence of individuals into the god" (p. 73).

Sexual Mysticism

Very little research has been conducted or formal theory developed on the

possibility of peak or mystical sexual experiences. The little evidence gathered so

far indicates that such experiences may be possible.

MacKnee (1998) conducted in depth interviews with five Christian men and

five women who had mystical sexual experiences. The research investigated the

conditions that led to the peak experiences and parallels with Tantric sexual

experiences were drawn with both describing loss of bodily sense and time,

expansion, bliss, ecstasy, intense union, wonder, awe, mystery and paradox. Among

the respondents there were reports of life changing, healing spiritual/sexual

encounters, experiences of the truth of the self being revealed and false elements of

the self relinquished. The author explained "God is passionately and intimately

involved in the profound encounter " (p. 177).

Barbach (1984) is a clinical psychologist working with women's sexual

difficulties who has been concerned about the paucity of erotica geared to women.

To address that gap, she invited women writers to describe their most outstanding,

real sexual encounters. There were a few frankly mystical experiences. Among

Wilson and Spencer's (1990) investigation of peak experiences three respondents

mentioned peak sexual experiences.

Sovatsky (1985) examined the qualitative experiences of six tantric

practitioners, among others. Timelessness, bliss, ecstasy and loss of limits were

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common features of the erotic sexual encounter. The body was perceived as a

gateway to the experience of a rarified dimension of the universe.

Mosher (1980) developed a model to describe different styles, roles and

depths (which he termed paths) of sexual engagement. He labeled these: trance-

state, role enactment and partner engagement. He discussed profound invovlement

in all these three paths giving rise to the possibility of mystical experiences of union

where ordinary states of awareness are transcended.

An exploration of possible mystical sexual experiences, while not well

represented in the scientific literature, is represented in Western writing and art. Hart

and Stevenson (1995) examined art, literature and poetry from the renaissance to the

rococo for themes of both sexuality and spirituality. They found evidence of

yearning for "divine bliss through sexual contact" (p. 16) in 17th century poetry.

Rococo German and Austrian art suggests that transcendent physical delights will

enable heavenly experiences.

Moore, T. (1998) also proposed that sex is inherently "soulful" and that

transcendence, timelessness and extraordinary sensations of space are within a range

of expected experiences. He called such sensations liminal or threshold experiences

and suggested this quality also exists in religious experiences. "We lose ourselves in

the oblivion of sex and find our soul in the spiritual place that is accessible through

openhearted passion. This is Venusian spirituality, a transcendence of self achieved

through intense, pleasurable union" (p. 153).

In Sum

There is considerable evidence of a variety of peak experiences yet sexual

peak experiences are poorly understood. While mysticism is acknowledged in the

major religions, sexual mysticism is currently given a significant place only in

Hinduism, Taoism and Tantric Buddhism. A certain tension with sexuality is

expressed within most religions and it is perhaps through the personal spiritual

experience that the overlap between the sexual and the spiritual is encountered.

Spirituality, religiosity, relationship functioning and marriage have been shown to be

associated and are conceptually connected. However, an overarching understanding

of these diverse principles has not as yet been reached.

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Conclusion

Passionate love has been explored mainly from an empirical perspective in

the current chapter. Passionate love is understood to share much with romantic love,

but it is usually more sexual and arousal oriented and tends to involve less

idealisation and sentimentality. Early passionate and romantic love has been

correlated with both positive and negative relationship outcomes. Yet mature

passionate love, in the few studies that have been conducted, has been correlated

with positive relationship outcomes. It is argued that the positive elements of

passionate love need to be explicated and the nature of mature passionate love needs

to be explored.

Mature passionate love is considered to be an attitude with emotional,

cognitive and behavioural aspects and to be comprised of different qualities, rather

than consisting of a general or g-factor. There is evidence of the early experience of

passionate love being sustained by biological and evolutionary processes and some

of this perhaps may continue into long term relationships. Mature passionate love is

thought to involve eroticism, engagement (including care-giving, and commitment),

enthusiasm, attraction, openness/trust (including communication), differentiation,

and transcendence. Mature love involves the ability to be both independent and

healthily interdependent. Both gender and culture are thought to influence the

experience of passionate love.

There is both theoretical and a small amount of empirical evidence to suggest

that spiritual and sexual experiences can overlap when sex has a mystical or

transcendent overtone. Yet, most religions tend to exhibit some degree of

suppression of sexuality. Empirically, religion tends to be supportive of marriage

and family stability.

An integrated theoretical understanding of passion, sexuality and spirituality

has not been reached. To address this gap the works of both Fromm and Schnarch

are discussed in detail in the next chapter.

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CHAPTER FIVE

The Theories of Erich Fromm and David Schnarch

So far the early theories on the psychology of love as well as a description of

more recent love theories and related research have been explicated. The discussion

demonstrated inadequacies and contradictions in the understanding of love and

passionate love to date. To address these problems passionate love will be

conceptualised in a new way using the theories of Erich Fromm and David Schnarch.

Erich Fromm

Relationship of Fromm's Theory of Love to Previous Love Theories

Erich Fromm (who died in 1980) was a practising psychoanalyst whose

original academic training was in psychology, sociology and philosophy. The

influence of the latter two disciplines is strongly reflected in his writings. He was apt

to be very critical of Western capitalism and prone to explaining human frailty in

terms of the moral, social, religious, and political failings of the society at large. He

is generally considered a neo-Freudian because he repudiated biological determinism

in favour of a more optimistic belief in human ability to overcome unconscious

forces by "imagination, reason, will" (Fromm, 1980, p. 148). Much of Fromm's

description of intrapsychic processes was shaped by and developed from Freud's

work.

Fromm acknowledged Freud's enormous contribution to Western

understanding of human nature, particularly unconscious processes. Fromm noted

that Freud's concepts of "life instinct" and "death instinct" described the passionate

need for love and destruction respectively. Yet Freud, categorising such needs as

instincts, divorced them from their "sociobiological, historical" origins, according to

Fromm (Fromm, 1973, p. 7).

Fromm challenged Freud's views that the Oedipus complex represented a

child's sexual rivalry with their same sex parent. Rather, he suggested, it was a

child's fight with irrational parental authority. This struggle involves working with

guilty feelings about sexual and physical functions (including defecation). The guilt

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arises from the parent's unintentional attempts to control these natural impulses in the

child. Neurosis begins when the child loses this fight against parental authority

(Fromm, 1944-1998).

Fromm questioned Freud's acceptance of social hierarchies and structures.

Fromm claimed Freud's bourgeois attitudes (and those of Freud's patients)

undermined the capacity of psychoanalysis to produce the necessary revolutionary

personal and social change which would enable truly loving and fulfilling lives

(Fromm, 1980). Fromm proclaimed that psychoanalysis thereby supported

consumerism.

Fromm described Freud's attitudes to women as possessive and patriarchal

and fostering a taking attitude in love, rather than a generous one. This spirit

engendered sexual coldness on the part of middle class women. "The proprietary

character of bourgeois marriage conditioned them to be cold. Since they were

property they were expected to be 'inanimate' in marriage" (Fromm, 1980, p. 8).

Main Theoretical Constructs

Love and its relationship to Western capitalism. Fromm (1962) described

love as being one of the most fundamental existential needs we have since it allows

us to overcome the anxiety of our aloneness and engage productively with others and

with life. Fromm was deeply critical of the capitalism of Western society, which he

saw as corrupting and philosophically opposed to the principles of love. Modern

relationships were portrayed as an expression of people's utter alienation from

themselves, each other and nature. The alienation was described as arising from a

consumer based ethic. In such a world love was described as a rare phenomenon.

Modern man has transformed himself into a commodity; he experiences his

life energy as an investment with which he should make the highest profit,

considering his position and the situation on the personality market.…Life

has no goal except the one to move, no principle except the one of fair

exchange, no satisfaction except the one to consume (Fromm, 1962, p.76).

Fromm described both neurotic love and mature love. He also outlined how

this mature love could be developed, despite our society's deficiencies.

Neurotic love. Neurotic love arises when people have not grown up

emotionally, having been brought up by demanding, intrusive or distant parents.

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"The basic condition for neurotic love lies in the fact that one or both of the

'lovers' have remained attached to the figure of a parent and transfer the

feelings, expectations and fears one once had towards father or mother to the

loved person in adult life: the persons involved have never emerged from a

pattern of infantile relatedness, and seek for this pattern in their effective

demands in adult life (Fromm, 1962, p. 69). The neurotic lover may focus

on receiving love, worshipping their lover as an idol, loving the beloved vicariously

through fantasy or projecting defects onto the beloved. This neurotic love is filtered

through fears and needs and lacks generosity and objectivity.

Mature erotic love. Fromm (1962) suggested that mature love is only

possible when a person has undergone profound self-development and has reached

such a degree of self-sufficiency and independence that they can love without being

self-seeking. It is giving without wanting or needing to receive in return. Fromm

(1962) described the attainment of mature love as a striving which requires a lifetime

of work. The lover loves from a core sense of relatedness to self and the beloved.

Fromm described loving as requiring energy, enthusiasm, vitality and a productive

engagement with life.

Fromm (1962) labelled mature passionate love "erotic love" and described it

as involving an act of will, faith, courage, activity and not just intense feelings since

these can be transitory. He also described erotic love as being paradoxical since it

requires (a) fusion and autonomy; and (b) perception of the uniqueness and

universality of the beloved. Fromm was careful to distinguish between infatuation

and erotic love. He argued that infatuation is short-lived, and usually based on

inadequate knowledge of the beloved. He suggested that if the beloved were known

more deeply, the sense of curiosity and desire for closeness would not be so

transitory. Fromm suggested that personal independence formed the healthiest basis

for an intimate, erotic love.

Fromm proposed that erotic love is exclusive but that lovers should not be

possessive as otherwise they remain separated from the rest of humankind and each

other (a state he labeled "egoism a deux"). Because we all share the same essence, a

lover can, in principle, love anyone wholeheartedly. Yet, each individual is unique

and that uniqueness is an element of the attraction between one individual and

another. Erotic love consists of both individual and universal attraction.

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The link between love and spiritual attitudes. Fromm argued that societies'

concepts of love emerge from philosophical and religious traditions, which in turn

reflect the sophistication of thinking and degree of development of these societies.

He suggested that the Eastern concept of the unity of the individual and God reflects

a more developed philosophy than the Western one. In the West, the relationship

between the individual and God tends to be a childlike attachment to an external and

superior God who one must try to please and whose punishment must be feared.

God may be understood through dogma, beliefs and thought. In the East, reality is

understood as paradoxical and therefore beyond the power of the intellect to grasp.

In "Eastern religions and…mysticism, the love of God is an intense feeling

experience of oneness, inseparably linked with the expression of this love in every

act of living" (Fromm, 1962, p. 60). Fromm's belief in the possibility of the mystical

experience was a central feature of his ideas about the philosophy and practice of

love.

Strengths and Limitations of Fromm's Theories

The relationship between the types of love. One strength of Fromm's (1962)

theory of love is that it detailed the various forms that love assumes and their

relationship to one another. Fromm maintained that self-love and brotherly love are

a prerequisite to profound erotic love. "The affirmation of one's own life, happiness,

growth, freedom is rooted in one's capacity to love, i.e., in care, respect,

responsibility, and knowledge" (Fromm, 1962, p. 47). Brotherly love was described

as a sense of identification with another - feelings of tenderness that are expressed

physically and non-physically.

Rich theoretical base. Fromm was an influential figure in his time. He wrote

20 books while he practised as an academic and teacher of psychonalysis, lectured

throughout the world and maintained an active clinical practice. His writings include

an understanding of psychopathology as well as an explanation of its causes.

His writing was also informed by a rich understanding of philosophy, religion

and political science. In describing the detrimental attitudes about self love held by

Western society, he explained their historical basis, quoting from Luther, and Calvin,

as well as Kant, and Nietzche (Fromm, 1975). He believed in Marx's philosophy but

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said that socialism as it was practised in Russia and China at the time was a

misrepresentation of the ideals. In fact, he called it pseudo Marxism (Fromm, 1966).

The fact that he had well-developed and well-informed ideas in all these

disciplines meant that his writing was complex and sophisticated. His ideas were

related and formed a coherent philosophy, yet he gave opinions about many topics

(e.g. educating children and moral relativism). Although Fromm was unabashedly

critical of many of the institutions and beliefs of Western society he also believed in

people's ability to adapt, grow and be generous. He did not underestimate the

difficulty of the task, yet he believed that people were capable of creating a fairer,

more loving society and worked to make this possible.

Love and sexuality. Fromm's work is thoughtful yet aspects of his philosophy

were perhaps not well developed. Whether sexuality changes as a person matures

was insufficiently explored by Fromm in his book The Art of Loving (Fromm, 1962).

He tended to describe sexual union in terms of being an orgiastic escape and he did

not develop an argument about the possibilities of sex between mature lovers. In The

Anatomy of Human Destructiveness, Fromm (1973) commented that sexual ecstasy

"too often remains a narcissistic experience for each of the two, who perhaps share

mutual gratitude for the pleasure they have given each other (conventionally felt as

love)" (p. 275). Fromm noted in For the Love of Life that physical and emotional

intimacy are linked but are not the same and that "sex is exploited to disguise a lack

of intimacy" (Fromm 1986, p. 35).

Fromm distinguished between mature and immature sexual experience in

terms of the intimacy of the experience but gave no more detail. Like many

psychologists from his generation he tended to describe homosexuality as a form of

deviance. In Fromm and Funk (1997), he wrote: "overt homosexuality in the male is

usually an expression of grave personality disorder" (p. 154), although elsewhere in

this book he suggested some homosexuals can be relatively normal. Hence, his

writing on sexuality is limited in scope and prone to homophobic perspectives by

today's Western gender standards.

Writing Style and Evidence

Fromm argued his beliefs about humankind on the basis of evidence.

However the source of the evidence was not always cited. An example of how he

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argued and the lack of rigour in his style is given: "We have seen that the "hydraulic"

theory of aggression as presented by Lorenz, and to some extent by Freud in his

death wish theory, is not tenable. Neurophysiological findings show that neither

human or animal aggressiveness is a constantly growing, spontaneously self-

activating drive" (Fromm 1986, p. 45). None of these arguments was referenced.

The evidence cannot be traced to specific sources.

During and since Fromm's time, there has been an evolution of attitudes

about the healthiness of independence, expression of needs and altruism in

relationships. Both Fromm and Maslow championed the necessity of independence

for healthy relationships, and Fromm suggested that truly generous love is only

possible in the absence of infantile patterns of relatedness (including narcissism).

Attachment research has emphasised that the capacity to trust and depend

upon others is healthy and influenced by childhood attachment experiences. On the

other hand, independence may be a defense against painful or rejecting attachment

experiences in childhood (Ainsworth, 1989; Hazan & Shaver, 1987). The capacity

for independence may be healthy, although excessive independence may reflect

infantile relatedness more strongly than psychological health.

Fromm (1962) believed that generosity and the absence of neediness were

signs of mature love. Fromm's description of neediness suggested neurotic need and

personal emptiness and this neediness is probably meant to be different from the

constructive expression of needs, yet this distinction is not made clear in The Art of

Loving. The capacity to ask for appropriate assistance or comfort when sick,

downhearted, grieving, or looking after young children or ageing parents seems

healthy. Feeney, Peterson and Noller (1994) looked at patterns of equity and marital

satisfaction among 373 married people and found equity varied in its importance

depending on the life cycle of the spouse and equity tended to be restored among

wives once children had left home. This research is consistent with the notion that

people become more capable of generous love when they are older and do not have

the demands and pressures of young children, and they have perhaps learned from

life experience.

Other researchers have suggested that genuine generosity towards others may

be possible. Aron and Aron (1996) hypothesised that love arises "from a desire to

expand the self by including the other in the self, as well as by associating expansion

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with that particular other" (p. 45). This framework reconciles the need to satisfy self-

interest and behave generously towards another by suggesting they occur

simultaneously. Investment theory also suggests that couple interest can replace self-

interest at times. The investment of resources, effort and identity in the relationship

strengthens commitment (Rusbult, 1983; Van Lange et al., 1997). Thus research

since Fromm's death has pointed to the adaptiveness of being able to be generous to

others, but this need not necessarily be at the expense of the self, nor is it realistic to

suggest that the expression of need is necessarily neurotic.

Cancian (1987) in her book Love in America reviewed the evidence

(including her own research) regarding the current status of love from the perspective

of Marxist and socialist theorists and concluded that their fears about the

destructiveness of emphasis on self and consumerism have not been realised. Rather,

there has been a shift in emphasis in loving relationships from playing a role (being a

selfless, generous, dutiful wife or a protective, providing, chivalrous husband) to

integrating self-development and love. Successful love relationships have become

more androgynous, interdependent and fulfilling, according to her reading of

research findings.

Campbell et al., (2002) examined the notion that self love increases love for

others and found that only self-esteem and not narcissism were associated with more

love of others. Self-esteem was negatively linked to Manic and Ludus love and these

findings were consistent with Fromm's love theories.

A study by Engel, Olson, and Patrick (2002) found that conscientiousness

was positively correlated with intimacy and passion among 126 young university

students. This is consistent with Fromm's notion that love is an active striving.

Conclusion

Erich Fromm remains one of the most influential and sophisticated love

theorists of the 20th century and hence his ideas were used in the development of the

Assessment of Mature Passionate Love (AMPL). His ideas on love were not always

argued with absolute rigour. However, his ideas about the importance of self-love

and personal development for loving others have received validation. Currently

there is a stronger emphasis on interdependent, rather than independent relationship

functioning as being healthy. The Marxist notions about the destructive influence of

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capitalism have been challenged by some research. Fromm had well-developed

ideas about the processes which contributed to and undermined the development of a

mature passionate love. Not only were the intrapsychic and relationship influences

explicated, but also the family of origin, the societal, religious and philosophical ones

as well. Fromm's ideas form a good basis for understanding the work of the other

major theorist upon which the AMPL is based, David Schnarch.

David Schnarch

Relationship of Schnarch's Theory of Passionate Marriage to Previous Love

Theories

There is considerable agreement between Schnarch (1991, 1997, 2002) and

Fromm (1962) about the association between personal development and the capacity

for a passionate, loving relationship. Schnarch is a practising sex and marriage

therapist who wrote three books concerned with passionate love in long term

relationships. The first: Constructing the sexual crucible - An integration of sexual

and marital therapy (1991) was academically oriented and incorporated principles

from family therapy (particularly the work of Bowen) and object relations theory.

The second book: Passionate marriage (1997) was written for lay audiences and has

sold widely. The third was called Resurrecting sex: Resolving sexual problems and

rejuvenating your relationship (2002) and, as the title suggests, is more directly

focused on specific sexual problems. This last book was not used in the development

of the AMPL because it was published too late, although its contents are referred to

in the discussion.

Schnarch did not set out to establish himself as a love theorist. He was more

interested in therapeutic practice and in this field described himself as producing a

new paradigm for creating intimacy and eroticism within emotionally committed

relationships.

Schnarch suggested that lovers rarely come close to their emotional and

sexual potential. Marital and sexual therapists were described as not being helpful

enough or successful enough. Sex therapists were criticised for being too

mechanistic and ignoring the place of intimacy in the assessment and resolution of

sexual difficulties. Schnarch criticised marital therapists for giving techniques and

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communications skills, but not getting to the heart of the problem - which was often

that partners needed to grow up, and become both more emotionally differentiated

and emotionally connected.

Main Theoretical Constructs

Schnarch (1991, 1997, 2002) posited that sexual behaviour reflects people's

capacity for intimacy and the way they were raised in their family of origin. During

therapy intake Schnarch asked couples to describe their usual sexual behaviours to

elicit their interaction patterns and their capacity for intimate connection. Schnarch

described how intimacy, sexuality, passion and eroticism are connected and unfold

within relationships.

Passion and eroticism. Schnarch proposed that enhancing passion and

eroticism in the sexual relationship develops personal autonomy, spirituality and

marital happiness. Schnarch (1997) defined passion as "healthy lust, sexual

aggression, carnality, ardor and enthusiasm… Passion goes beyond biologically-

driven "urges". It comes in delicious flavors of craving, longing, fire, and fury

reflecting emotional desire for your partner - affection, ardor, amorousness …love"

(Schnarch, 1997, pp. 133-134). Eroticism was defined as: "the pursuit and delight in

sensual pleasure" (Schnarch, 1991, p. 314) and described as a component of sexual

desire, along with passion. Marriage itself was described as an emotionally

committed relationship which did not necessarily relate to the legal institution and

hence was applicable to gays and lesbians. Schnarch (1991) lamented that modern

day functional sexuality lacks eroticism.

Many married couples, Schnarch (1991, 1997) argued, keep a comfortable

emotional and sexual distance from one another so they do not have to expose

themselves to the anxieties of their differences or the threat of domination. In their

sexual relationship this is expressed in people wanting to turn out the lights during

lovemaking, and closing eyes during kissing, foreplay, intercourse and especially

during orgasm. Partners learn not to express their sexual preferences, do not share

their thoughts and fantasies and remove themselves emotionally from their partner.

Great exposure is possible in lovemaking and partners will commonly shy away from

expressing the full force of their lust or their ambivalence about their own sexuality

to themselves or their lovers.

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Schnarch (1997) suggested that the greatest heights of passion become

possible as lovers mature and age: "Older men and women often report the strongest

orgasms and the most meaningful sex of their lives. The very time when many

couples despair of ever reconnecting in sex is actually when they can - and need to -

make important shifts in their sexual development. Aging is not the inevitable

downward sexual spiral we have learned to expect with dread" (Schnarch, 1997, p.

90). These developmental shifts are demonstrated behaviourally by increased

openness and emotional connection during sexual contact.

Couples who are reaching their sexual potential want to look each other in the

eye, leave the lights on and connect with one another from the depth of their being

throughout sexual contact, according to Schnarch (1991). Each partner is profoundly

emotionally involved, feeling a deep sense of meaning. This is facilitated by kissing,

romantic utterances and sensual involvement and a relaxed and inwardly-oriented

style. The sexual role should emphasise "novelty, variety, and skill with oral sex and

intercourse in a playful exhibitionistic atmosphere" (Schnarch, 1991, p. 80). The

ability to function with profound eroticism - an essential aspect of reaching one's

sexual potential - often derives not so much from specific behaviours but from the

freedom to openly embrace one's own sexuality and enjoy sensual pleasure.

Intimacy. The growth towards maturity and the full use of potential was

explored in the domains of sexuality, intimacy, and spirituality. Schnarch (1991,

1997) distinguished between two types of intimacy: level 1 or other-oriented

intimacy and level 2 or self-validated intimacy. Level 1 intimacy is enhanced by

behaviours which promote mutuality, understanding and communication between

partners, but is ultimately based on pleasing one another. The difficulty with level 1

intimacy is that if people desire the approval of their partner they will feel the

pressure to modify themselves and become anxious about revealing themselves as

they really are. Differences may emerge, rejection becomes possible and anxiety is

likely to arise. Also, if people modify themselves too much for the sake of the

relationship they will feel anxious because they are being controlled and will need to

withdraw to reestablish their own integrity. Schnarch, 1991 argued:

Validation derived from self-disclosure requires (a) that the information

presented is a core reflection of the true self and (b) that the individual has a

relatively stable self-concept. Paradoxically, neither of these requirements is

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likely to be fulfilled when an individual seeks validation from others to

improve his/her low self esteem or poorly defined self-image; such an

individual is more likely to give superficial disclosure, edit content to elicit a

positive response and pander to the perceived preferences of the audience.

Successful selective self-presentation has the paradoxical impact of

increasing fears of rejection about the remaining undisclosed aspects of self

(p. 94).

In contrast, self-validated intimacy requires that lovers become capable of

showing themselves as they truly are to themselves and their partner. Such an

intimacy is based on differentiation which Schnarch described as "the process by

which we become more uniquely ourselves by maintaining ourselves in relationship

with those we love" (Schnarch, 1997, p. 51) and "the ability to balance individuality

and togetherness" (Schnarch, 1997, p. 67). Differentiated lovers have explored, and

mastered their own hostility, vulnerability and fear of powerlessness and rejection.

Few individuals are capable of taking responsibility for their internal

psychological conflicts and they are usually expressed or projected into marital

conflict, according to (Schnarch, 1991). Hence few people are capable of the

personal maturity required for this level of intimacy. Self-validated intimacy also

requires that a lover can care for themselves independently of their beloved and

remain separate when their beloved is going through turmoil and trying to enlist the

lover in their struggle. This requires an acceptance of separateness and freedom

from needing reassurances. "Denial of partner's separateness surfaces in the belief

that one's spouse 'belongs to' or 'reflects upon' oneself in some proprietary way. In

the quest for an acceptable reflected sense of self, the individual must control his/her

spouse in order to control how he/she is perceived by others…Differentiation permits

spouses to tolerate disparate goals, interests, and emotional investments in others"

(Schnarch, 1991, p. 207).

Spirituality. Psychological and emotional maturation may have spiritual

consequences. As an individual becomes more adult in their relationships a new

kind of spiritual attitude may emerge which is distinct from childish attachment to

God. Two spiritual styles were described (Type A & B) with the former involving a

deferential, patriarchal relationship with an external God who requires sexual

restraint and sexual behaviour consistent with church doctrine (Schnarch, 1991).

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Humankind is created perfect, but evil was created by the original fall of Adam and

Eve. Type B spirituality was described as a mature perspective where we are

considered inseparable from God. This distinction between Type A and B

spirituality is similar to the one Fromm made.

Schnarch described being able to unfold the divine within and being able to

see sexuality as a natural part of our personality. Personal development can enable

an individual to believe that God could accept and bless sexual enjoyment and

personal strength, rather than think it is sinful and wrong.

An individual's spiritual ideas may be altered through maturation, and so may

the nature of the spiritual, emotional and sexual experience (Schnarch, 1991). The

following vignette exemplifies the fruit of this development. A 60-year-old man

during fellatio, felt a profound, beautiful quietness and had an extremely intense,

protracted orgasm.

I remember the quiet in the room. Sometimes I though I heard a remote

sound come from somewhere, but it was like in another world. It was as if

time had stopped, you know: like we were in an isolation chamber, like a

cave. Sometimes I heard her emitting this low throaty moan as she did me,

like she was chanting, like a Buddhist monk. My penis was the sacrament. It

was so deafeningly quiet, I almost found it unnerving. Just me, Helen, and

the bed existed: the world stopped at the boundary of our bedroom (Schnarch,

1991, pp. 443).

He described crying with the beauty and sacredness of his experience. His

wife also experienced this quietness and was similarly moved. However, she added:

"But I'm laughing because 'the quiet' wasn't the only thing that was deafening. When

you came you were bellowing, "Oh my God, " and really grunting" (Schnarch, 1991,

p. 444). This vignette describes the experience of the sacred within the sexual and

demonstrates that such an experience is simultaneously lofty and earthy.

Wall socket sex. The experience described above is what Schnarch called

wall socket sex. This experience is like putting a finger in the electrical socket and

having "an intense erotic and intimate experience that seemly arises out of

nowhere….. [It] occurs in behaviors other than intercourse and independent of

orgasm ……[and the experience contradicts] one's sexual belief system and

prevailing societal wisdom" (Schnarch, 1991, pp. 464-465).

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Wall socket sex is experienced when:

"* Time stops.

* External reality fades: there is a sense of being transported to another place and

time.

* Your consciousness changes, so that, for example, separate acts blend into a

single prolonged event. A million delights merge into one.

* Boundaries between you and your partner shift or cease to exist. You feel your

partner next to you - without touching- as if your bodies are intermingled. Your

skin feels open, your pores enlarged.

* Your emotions appear on your partner's face. You see your essence embodied

in your partner. He or she knows exactly how to touch you. S/he moans at the

exact instant everything seems transcendentally perfect to you.

* Your partner's face "melts", taking on unusual or unexpected emphasis and

character.

* You watch your partner undergo age changes. You know exactly what he or

she looked like in childhood, or will look like when older. You see the child and

parent in your partner.

* Profound mutual caring and joy overflow the bond between you. You're

moved to tears, appreciating other people past and present, and what it means to

be human" (Schnarch, 1997, p. 97).

Schnarch contrasted wall socket sex with the sex that commonly takes place

between couples which he described as relatively mediocre (Schnarch, 1991). That

is, sexual reluctance and boredom occur because the quality of the sexual experience

is often unsatisfying. People know this and become half hearted in their sex lives.

Schnarch argued that the attainment of wall socket sex is difficult because people

fear becoming self-centred, losing themselves and being hedonistic (Schnarch,

1991).

There is an attitude of great enthusiasm toward the relationship and the

partner in vignettes, which describe the emotional, spiritual and sexual development

of Schnarch's clients in the process of treatment. One important aspect of this

growth is allowing oneself to fully participate in and intensely want one's partner

despite the possibility of loss through death or separation. The potential pain of this

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loss prevents some people from loving wholeheartedly but for the mature lover this

cost is accepted.

Interdependence. Two elements in the previous discussion suggest a

departure from Fromm's ideas about independence. Firstly, the capacity to be

sexually passionate rests on the ability to receive pleasure and be self-centred.

Secondly, investment in a relationship means allowing oneself to need one's partner

and not protecting oneself from the pain of loss. In his recent book Schnarch (2002)

placed a strong emphasis on personal generosity in relationships which he phrased as

"coming from the best in you". Achieving these characteristics requires developing

the personal strength to trust, depend on others, give of yourself and be your own

person.

Strengths and Limitations of Schnarch's Theories

Schnarch gives no clear definition of love but in an interview he described it

as "an emotion that involves many things, but particularly, a caring for the wellbeing

of one's partner" (Schnarch, 1998). This definition lacks clarity since (a) it fails to

detail what the "many things" involved are or may be, and (b) it fails to describe how

the emotion and the behaviour (of caring) are connected. To describe love as being

an emotion has the effect of down playing its connection to behaviour and cognition.

By describing love as an emotion, the purposefulness, stability and gravity of the

experience involved are diminished.

Schnarch explained that his reluctance to use the term love is due to "the

difficulty of discussing this topic in a meaningful way and the distaste I hold for the

casual, euphemistic, and bastardized use of the term" (Schnarch, 1991, p. 592). Such

reluctance, while understandable, is detrimental to the development of notions of

passionate love based on his theories.

Although Schnarch does not provide a comprehensive theory or definition of

love, he does have a well-developed understanding of relationships, their dynamics

and ways to enhance them. He certainly proposed that happy marriages require faith,

courage and forbearance - a notion that is consistent with Fromm's description of the

requirements of mature erotic love.

Schnarch's discourse on passion and love are not placed within the

development of love theories. Rather, they are theoretically placed within the

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development of marital and sex therapy theory and practice and so have a much more

applied flavour. This in itself is a strength. Too often love research and theory is

confined to investigating the experience of young white university students and does

not examine the experience of mature lovers. On the other hand, relationship

research is often focused on establishing the efficacy of marital therapy treatments

rather than investigating the importance of passionate love in intact long term

relationships (certainly Psychlit produces only one hit on mature passionate love).

Schnarch's work potentially bridges this gap because it focuses on (a) long term

relationships, (b) the nature of the emotional connection between the partners, and

(c) therapeutic tools to enhance the connection within long term relationships.

However because of the lack of validating research, the efficacy of Schnarch's

theories and treatments are yet to be established.

This lack of evidence undermines his claims to have established paradigm

changes in marital and sexual therapy and suggests that the way he has disparaged

existing marital and sexual treatments may be a little premature. However, his

arguments certainly make logical sense and are backed up with case material.

Evidence Regarding Schnarch's Conceptions of Love

There have been no known studies which have attempted to directly validate

Schnarch's perspective on passionate marriages. However, one study produced some

relevant findings. Montgomery and Sorell (1997, N = 250) investigated love

attitudes (using the Love Attitude Scale) among four groups (a) single, (b) young

childless married individuals, (c) married adults with children living at home and

(d) married adults whose children had left home. The hypothesis that passion levels

would be less for groups three and four, a theory consistent with Hatfield's model,

was not supported. Rather it was concluded that the presence of passionate love was

associated with relationship satisfaction and that a therapeutic approach like

Schnarch's would benefit couples.

Conclusion

Schnarch has presented theories which describe the evolution of a mature

passionate love. The strength of his work lies in its practicality and applicability to

marital and sexual therapy. His theories are particularly helpful in describing how to

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enrich the erotic experience in passionate relationships and what the hallmarks of

such a relationship are. Schnarch also describes what the potential of such

passionate engagement can be and how spiritual and enriching the peak experiences

are. He identifies long term and older lovers as having the greatest potential for

passionate relationships, a notion which is challenging to some commonly held

beliefs.

Integrated Analysis of Fromm and Schnarch

So far the theories of Fromm and Schnarch have been explained and the

important concepts have been specified. The following discussion explains why

these theories were chosen for developing a measure of mature passionate love.

Fromm and Schnarchs' theories of love, when used together, have the following

strengths:

1) Statement of a positive goal state. These theorists provided ideals of love and

relationships which encourage autonomous, respectful and mature behaviour.

The fruit of this growth was stated as being deep emotional, sexual and spiritual

contentment, great personal integrity and generous social and relationship

functioning. The goal state offers the possibility of growth and development.

2) Specification of processes that lead towards the attainment of the goal state. The

growth towards this state was presented as requiring significant energy. Fromm

discussed an attitude towards life and self, including the use of will, discipline,

faith, and courage that enhances the growth towards mature love. Schnarch

suggested that this growth would often require therapy with a therapist who has

attained sufficient differentiation to encourage these qualities to develop in their

client.

3) Explanation of love/relationship strengths and deficiencies in individual and

societal terms. Fromm and Schnarch were critical of commonly held standards

and norms, and both explained why relationship standards and behaviours were

lacking in individual and societal terms. Both these authors proposed counter

measures to ameliorate immature relationship attitudes.

4) Sufficient domains. A goal state is proposed with sufficient domains to describe

mature passionate love. Fromm and Schnarch identified passionate emotions,

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cognitions and behaviours within a number of domains: spiritual, emotional,

sexual, intimacy, existential, and security. While independently these theorists

may not have produced comprehensive ideas on passionate love, together they

have been able to describe passionate love fairly comprehensively.

5) Agreement between theorists. Schnarch and Fromm have (a) overlapping content,

and, (b) independent, complementary content. Schnarch (1991, 1997) used

Fromm's theory in developing his arguments on the importance of autonomy,

dealing with existential aloneness, moving beyond an equity model of

relationship functioning (I will if you will) and acceptance of the fact that

intimacy is a basic human need. Fromm and Schnarch described growth which

integrated individual, relationship and spiritual domains. Schnarch's strength was

his theoretical explanation and integration of sexuality and relationship

development. Fromm's strength was his analysis of the philosophical, spiritual

and societal antecedents of an individual's experience of alienation and his rich

description of mature and immature love.

Fromm and Schnarch both agree that the attainment of mature, passionate

love is a rare phenomenon and one which is quite distinct from ordinary

relationships. Schnarch hints that people can achieve significant growth and

maturity by being together a long time. Yet he also says that it is common for

couples to become alienated and bored with one another emotionally and sexually.

In his most recent book Schnarch (2002) described marriages as "people

growing machines" since all marriages reach points where normal ways of dealing

with differences are no longer effective and people are forced to grow. He described

this as human evolution, driven by the process of differentiation, a process he saw as

fundamentally spiritual. This implies that differentiated, fulfilling partnerships may

not be as rare as he suggested they were in his previous books (Schnarch, 1991;

Schnarch, 1997).

Evidence suggests that the subjective experience of people in long term

relationships is not as poor as Fromm had thought (Johnson et al., 1994; McAllister,

1986, N = 773). The current research examines relationship contentment and its

association with aspects of passionate love, in a framework consistent with the ideas

of Schnarch and Fromm. The following chapters investigate the content of

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passionate love with a new breadth that may clarify how successfully couples have

been in growing and differentiating and achieving a mature love.

Conclusion

The complementary theories of David Schnarch and Erich Fromm form the

basis for the development of the Assessment of Mature Passionate Love (AMPL).

Together these theorists described how mature passionate love can be identified and

nurtured. However, Schnarch's works have received little direct empirical validation.

The value of attempting such a validation has been argued in the current chapter.

Schnarch and Fromm's ideas have the potential to make a great contribution to the

discipline of psychology's rather rudimentary understanding of love (Tzeng, 1993) at

all love's developmental stages.

The process of developing a measure involved summarising the principles of

passionate love outlined in Fromm (1962) and Schnarch's (1991, 1997) texts and

producing items which putatively represent these theories. This process is described

in the next chapter.

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CHAPTER SIX

Study one

Overview

The purpose of this research was to explore the nature of, and to develop a

measure of, mature passionate love based on the theories of Fromm and Schnarch.

Two studies were conducted. Study one involved: (a) generation of an item pool to

encapsulate specific passionate love qualities, and the grouping of these qualities into

domains and domain facets, (b) administration of the item pool to a sample of adult

respondents currently in long term relationships, and (c) reduction and refinement of

the item pool using conceptual considerations and statistical techniques including

factor analysis. This section of the thesis describes the processes of questionnaire

development and how the soundness of measurement was gauged.

In the next section, the results of these processes and qualitative findings are

presented and discussed. The qualitative data explored: (a) folk definitions of mature

passionate love, and (b) descriptions of peak experiences in love and sex. These data

help to define the construct and describe the possibilities of the experience.

Qualitative questions could perhaps best elicit information relevant to peak

experiences, enable respondents to give meaning to their own experiences and

provide some sense of the incidence of these experiences. The answers to the

questionnaire were anonymous, hence respondents may have felt able to share deeply

personal experiences that they may have been reluctant to disclose verbally or when

they could be identified. The qualitative and quantitative findings were compared to

determine whether the content was similar enough to provide evidence of construct

validity.

The original 153-item measure was reduced to a 61-item instrument (plus one

filter item) with four factors in study one: Affectionate Engagement, Transcendence,

Eroticism and Social Desirability. This second shorter form was then tested for

reliability and validity in study two.

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Generation of the Item Pool

Measurement Format

Prior to administering a scale, a number of decisions need to be made about

how the items and the response format are structured. One decision to be made is

whether to positively word or use a mixture of positively or negatively worded items.

Having all positively worded items could increase the transparency of a scale and

therefore the likelihood that a response can be manipulated. However, there is good

evidence that including negatively worded items decreases the scale validity and can

introduce systematic error into the measure (Hinkin, 1995). Hence, all the items

were positively worded. The number of responses in the Likert-type scale also needs

to be chosen. Hinkin suggested that the co-efficient alpha reliability tends to

increase with the number of response options in Likert-type scales, up to five points

and then it levels off. For the measure of passionate love a six-point Likert-type

scale was chosen. This number of responses forces respondents off a neutral position

and produces adequate reliability.

Content Adequacy

In order to develop a sound measure of mature passionate love it is important

to ensure that the content of passionate love itself is clearly delineated and

represented. The psychometric term for the measurement of a scale's content is

content adequacy, which is a subjective judgement "involving a careful and critical

examination of a measure's items as they relate to its theoretically specified content

domain" (Schriesheim, Powers, Scandura, Gardiner, & Lankau, 1993, p. 388). In

order to adequately represent a construct Schriesheim et al. (1993) suggested:

First, the construct is theoretically defined and the researcher specifies the

total content universe that is relevant for the construct which is to be

measured. Second, a representative sample of scale items is drawn from the

total content domain. The specific sampling procedures used are, in theory,

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systematic and carefully specified. Finally, the sampled content domain is

operationalized while care is taken to adequately reflect the meaning

associated with each sampled content dimension (p. 388).

Preliminary Testing

The process of generating items and developing a theoretical rationale was

iterative and began by using the material from a number of theorists. In September

1999, seven couples in long term relationships and a marketing expert were given

133 item draft questionnaires to test for item and response format simplicity and ease

of comprehension. Items were revised and simplified on the basis of this feedback.

Expert Opinion

De Vellis (1991) recommended asking for expert opinion on item relevance

to a construct when developing a scale. Academics with expertise in long term

relationships or love were therefore asked to comment on the content of the

questionnaire. Five responses were received and on the basis of this feedback it was

decided there was a lack of theoretical and content consistency when a range of

theorists were used. The field was therefore narrowed down to Fromm and Schnarch

because these theorists (a) offered one of the most comprehensive and sophisticated

understandings of mature passionate love, and (b) presented ideas that were

compatible with one another and together formed a coherent theory. More items

were generated from relevant sections of Fromm (1962) and Schnarch's (1991, 1997)

theories and items were dropped that were inconsistent with them. Item generation

from the theory involved reading and rereading their texts and generating items that

matched the theoretical constructs. Extra items were also generated during

brainstorming sessions with the author and her supervisors. The content of the items

generated is described in Tables 1 and 2.

Assessment of Mature Passionate Love

A 153-item scale was produced (see Appendix A). The items developed were

directly related to specific principles from the theories of Schnarch and Fromm.

Fromm (1962) described erotic or passionate love as a tender, deep,

commitment based on will, attraction, brotherly and self love and transcendence of

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narcissism. Fromm's specific conceptions of passionate love that were used for scale

development are included in Table 1 (numbers refer to items from study one that

were based on this principle).

Table 1 Principles of Passionate Love from the Work of Fromm and the Item Numbers Generated for Study One ____________________________________________________________________

Theoretical Principal Item Numbers ____________________________________________________________________

Curiosity about the beloved 4, 55, 98, 118 Feeling that the beloved will take a 29, 67, 106, 138, 146, 149 life time to know Expressing tenderness - physically and 1, 3, 33, 37, 41, 48, 64, 76, 96 non-physically Uniqueness of the beloved 17, 23, 92, 139 Attraction 49, 135 Feeling that the beloved and the lover 126, 133 are one Loving beloved independently of a 52, 129 person's own need* Love without self seeking* 89 Giving without wanting or needing to 62, 147 receive in return* Moving, growing and working together 36, 45, 51, 87 Will, judgment, promise to love 9, 13, 88, 107, 123 /responsibility Activity 20, 25, 50, 95 Faith 84 Courage 39, 80 Care 63, 114 Respect 30, 60, 143 Intensity, and vitality 70, 111, 151 Experience that the beloved and lover 126, 133 are one Mysticism 103 Loving partner brings lover closer to God 58, 78, 115, 145, 148 Feeling good about the relationship 12, 26, 68, 72, 119, 127, 134,

150 ______________________________________________________________ * The author's perspective on the positivity of having a love without need changed over time. Fromm's notion of a needless love (which was originally endorsed and was a theoretical basis for some items) seemed to be less healthy than an interdependent model that accepts that needs are part of relationships.

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Broadly, Schnarch (1991, 1997) defined passion as lust and ardour, linked to

emotional desire for the partner. His specific ideas about passionate love are listed in

Table 2 and the numbers next to the ideas refer to items from study one that were

based on this principle.

Table 2 Principles of Passionate Love Based on the Theory of Schnarch and Corresponding Items Numbers Generated for Study One ____________________________________________________________________

Theoretical Principal Item Numbers ____________________________________________________________________

Carnality, lust and ardour 2, 46, 97, 108 Openness to own sexuality 10, 34, 38, 100, 144 Enjoying sensual pleasure 74, 77, 86, 121, 128, 152 Sexual playfulness and adventurousness 14, 65, 116, 124 Peak sexual/mystical experiences 93, 99 Sexual enthusiasm 69, 104 Sharing sexual preferences 53, 57, 81, 132 Opening eyes during sex 18 Leaving the lights on during sex 85 Not trying to modify oneself for 117 the sake of the relationship Being comfortable showing oneself 11, 66, 90, 101 as one is to the partner Not needing partner's approval 54 Having the ability to take care of 114 oneself independently of the partner Solid sense of self 15, 109 Non reactivity to beloved's reactivity 113, 136 Acceptance of the separateness of lovers 7, 35, 75, 82 Not needing reassurance 43 Full involvement with beloved 56, 105 despite mortality Feelings of oneness and merging 6, 21, 153 Experience of sacredness during sex 19, 31, 94 Power of sexual union experienced 73 as emotionally intense experience Experience of intense quietness during sex 125 Feeling time has stopped 120, 131 Sexual communicativeness 42, 61, 112, 140

____________________________________________________________________ Note: Some of these items bear resemblance to items from the Sexual Path Preferences Inventory (Mosher, 1998). Schnarch (1991) acknowledged that he was greatly influenced by Mosher's ideas, hence this resemblance is not surprising. Mosher's items were not sighted prior to the development of this scale, neither does Mosher's scale cover exactly the same domains.

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Before and after the items were generated, the way in which they clustered

conceptually was explored and seven domains were hypothesised to underlie the

construct of mature passionate love. The hypothesised domains were: affection,

differentiation, engagement, enthusiasm, eroticism, openness/trust and

transcendence. These domains are described in Table 3. The uniformity of each of

these domains and their independence from one another was uncertain and needed to

be examined empirically using statistical procedures including factor analysis.

Table 3 Descriptions of Hypothesised Domains ____________________________________________________________________ Domains Description ____________________________________________________________________ Affection Feelings of tenderness, liking, appreciation for partner and

verbal and physical expressions of those feelings Differentiation Independence, self knowledge, self acceptance and the

capacity for generosity Engagement Doing things together, being involved in one another's lives

and caring for each other Enthusiasm Interest in and curiosity about the partner. Vitality of and

enjoyment of the relationship. Eroticism Sensuousness, sexual openness and communication, good sex

life and attraction Openness/Trust Communication of thoughts and feelings. Allowing exposure

of who I am, what I fear. Being confident in the relationship Transcendence Experiences of oneness and merging, feeling moved in sex and

through love. Peak experiences including ecstasy, time stops and quietness. Closeness to God through sex. Sex seen as a spiritual gift

Social Desirability Seeing the beloved, their behaviour and the relationship as

perfect. Extremes of these scores are thought to express people wanting to represent themselves in an overly positive manner

____________________________________________________________________

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Within these domains, item topics were grouped into facets. For instance,

eroticism items were divided among the four facets of sensuousness, openness, good

sex life and attraction. The overall meaning of the 35 eroticism items can be grasped

more easily when these facets are explicated. (See Appendix B for a list of the items

within facets, which are in turn found within domains). Having these domains and

facets facilitates clear definition of the construct and enables a representative sample

of scale items to be chosen (Schriesheim et al., 1993).

The generation of items involved a careful explication of the content of the

theories of Fromm and Schnarch. These concepts were then grouped into

hypothetical domains. Facets of these domains were then ranked so that the more

pivotal facets could be established. Theory, expert opinion and qualitative feedback

informed this ranking (also see Table 21, which shows the ranking of characteristics

of mature passionate love). This content analysis provided a conceptual basis for

item selection. Statistical parameters and factor analysis also guided the item

selection that followed the survey administration.

In sum. In the first study measuring mature passionate love, a 153-item scale

was developed containing seven hypothesised factors: affection, differentiation,

engagement, enthusiasm, eroticism, openness/trust and transcendence and one filter

item. The filter item asked if people are currently having sex, those that are not were

excluded since answers based on distant memory may be distorted. The items

themselves were based on the theories of Fromm and Schnarch and were grouped

into domains which also contained facets. These items were subject to factor

analysis and conceptual, qualitative and statistical information aided in the reduction

of this scale to a smaller version for use in study two.

Administration of Survey 1

Participants

Participants were required to be 27 years or older and in an intact relationship

of at least 7 years. These parameters were somewhat arbitrary, but seemed to be a

reasonable minimum of maturity in age and length of relationship. The seven-year

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itch also has cultural meaning in Australia and to have a relationship that survives to

at least this point may be indicative of a long-term relationship to some people. Only

one member of a couple participated to ensure the independence of the sampling,

although this does mean that the agreement between couple members cannot be

assessed. There were 194 responses, 7 of which were discarded. Those rejected

included two respondents who had a deceased partner, one who was the partner of

another respondent, one who was in a relationship for only five years, two who had

too much missing data and one who answered all items with a 6. The reduced

sample comprised 187 participants of whom 128 (68.4%) were female, 52 were male

and 7 had missing values for gender. The mean age of the whole sample was 44.52

(SD = 9.81), the females had a mean age of 43.01 (SD = 8.71) and the males were on

average 47.77 years old (SD = 11.63). The participants were aged from 27 to 75 and

in relationships of between 7 and 50 years with an average of 21.18 years (SD =

10.61). Only eight participants (4.28%) were unmarried, 159 were in their first

marriage and 20 in their second marriage. Two participants were in homosexual

relationships. Twenty-one participants had no children. The mean number of

children was 2.23 (SD = 1.27) and they were on average 14.78 years old (SD =

11.28).

Most of the participants were urban dwelling (144 or 77% of the sample) and

another 13.4% lived in mixed rural and urban environment. Most participants (166

or 88.8%) were from Victoria. Four participants lived overseas, two were from

Europe, one was from the US and one was from Asia. The vast majority spoke

English at home (178) and were born in Australia (136), although only 117 had both

parents born here. The participants were mostly well educated with 120 (64%)

having completed a tertiary qualification and 80 (42.8%) were either managers,

administrators or professionals according to the Australian Standard Classification of

Occupations (McLennan, 1997).

Religiosity. Over half of the participants (102, 58.3%) nominated a particular

religious denomination (32 were Roman Catholic, 21 Anglican and 12 Uniting

Church), but only 42 (23.9%) attended church several times per month. Nearly half

(87, 46.5%) never went to church and 70 (37.4%) never prayed or meditated

although 111 (61.3%) did so at least infrequently. Formal involvement in religious

practice was thus not the norm among this group of participants.

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Materials

Participants were asked to complete a questionnaire (see Appendix A) that

qualitatively and quantitatively assessed relationship qualities associated with

passion and passionate love. The responses were either completed using a paper and

pen or a computer. The computer version enabled respondents to take up as much

space as they liked on qualitative questions, while those with a printed format were

less able to do so. In addition to the mature passionate love items already described,

a number of other measures were included in the questionnaire. Demographic

information and religiosity were assessed. Standard demographic questions included

gender, age, and relationship length. Questions relevant to the development of

psychological maturity were also asked. For instance, respondents were asked if

they had ever had psychological counselling, if they had had an experience that had

changed them and also if they read self- help or personal growth books.

Passion self rating. Respondents were asked to give a simple assessment of

how passionate they thought their relationship was on a Likert type scale where 1 =

extremely passionate and 5 = not at all passionate.

Qualitative questions. Respondents were asked to describe the important

characteristics of mature passionate love. This enabled a comparison of the theories

of Fromm and Schnarch with folk theories. Participants were also asked to describe

peak experiences in love or sex.

Religiosity. An attitudes to religion scale was used to assess the extent of

respondents' involvement in organised religion, religious practices and tendency to

contemplate spiritual questions. A 13 item scale developed by the current author

(Woodward, Carless, & Findlay, 2001), was used. The scale was found to be reliable

(Cronbach's alpha = .96 in the original study). It was employed because personal and

spiritual development were linked to the development of mature passionate love by

Fromm (1962) and Schnarch (1991, 1997).

Social desirability. The tendency of respondents to answer questions in a

socially desirable manner may reflect their desire to see themselves as being well

adjusted. In this particular study, a respondent's wish to rate their relationship as

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loving and/or passionate expressed social desirability. The answers given may

represent a goal state rather than reflect the true nature of the relationship.

The current study thus included a measure of social desirability with 10 items

devised by the author. The five items of the Conventionality sub-scale of the

Personal Assessment of Intimacy in Relationships (Schaefer & Olson, 1981) were

also included. These items were adapted from Edmonds (1967, cited in Schaefer &

Olson, 1981). Seven items (five of which were used in the current study) were

checked for reliability in the study by Schaefer and Olson (1981). They were found

to be reliable (Cronbach's alpha was greater than .7) and no validity information was

given on the Conventionality sub-scale. These items were conceptualised as the

tendency to idealise and have an overly positive attitude towards the partner.

Data Collection

Snowball. The author asked friends, acquaintances and relatives to answer

and/or distribute questionnaires. The recipients were a heterogeneous group and

included Rotarians, doctors, cleaners, church and ashram attendees.

Students. In mid 2000, students doing undergraduate psychology at

Swinburne University were asked to participate in this research as part of their course

requirement. A more informal approach at the beginning of classes was made to

undergraduate and post-graduate psychology students in mid 2000 and early 2001.

Media. Many attempts were made to publish articles in a range of magazines

and Melbourne newspapers and a number of press releases were sent. Successful

attempts included: Campus Review - an article was published on August 2-8, 2000,

Good Medicine (December 2000), and The Herald Sun (14/2/2001 - St Valentines

day). The Campus Review is a newspaper for higher education and training. Good

Medicine is a health issues magazine and the Herald Sun is an easy reading,

Melbourne, daily newspaper. These reference articles are contained in Appendix C.

Internet. Attendees at a conference on spirituality and business (3rd Annual

Conference on Spirituality, Leadership and Management 1 - 4 December, 2000,

Ballarat, Victoria) were sent an e-mail asking them to participate in 2001. Also a

web page and the questionnaire were sent to newsgroups that were recommended by

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a regular internet user in March 2001. The data collection results are presented in

Table 4.

Table 4 Origin and Frequencies of Returned Questionnaires (N=187) ____________________________________________________________________ Sample Origin Number of questionnaires % of total Returned ____________________________________________________________________ Special Student Sample* 6 3.2 Snowball 101 54.0 Campus Review 1 0.5 Good Medicine 9 4.8 Spirituality Conference e-mail 4 2.1 Herald Sun 62 33.2 Swinburne University Staff e-mail 1 0.5 Newsgroups 3 1.6 ____________________________________________________________________ * Students received course credit for participating in this project

Response rate. Approximately 500 questionnaires were printed and 170

paper questionnaires were returned. Some questionnaires were returned by e-mail, or

printed up and returned by mail. The overlap of mail and e-mail response methods

meant it was difficult to be precise about the response rate. However, overall the

response rate was approximately 36%.

Item Reduction and Refinement

Preliminary Screening

Screening data. Inspecting the range and distribution of the data using the

frequencies command in SPSS indicated where some of the mistakes were made in

data entry. Also a visual test of whether there was any pattern to missing values was

undertaken and no particular item or domain was over-represented.

Sexual activity. Item 24, "I currently have sex or some form of sexual contact

with my partner" was included as a filter item to exclude sexually inactive

respondents. It was reasoned that people who were not currently sexually active

would be drawing on memory when answering the questions. Their answers about

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previous sexual experiences may have been coloured by an intervening relationship,

emotional or physical event or change that produced the alteration in their level of

sexual activity. It is possible that a partner with ongoing sexual desire could answer

these questions being influenced by a resentment, which may not have been present

when he or she was sexually active. If the couple members had never been sexually

active, the questions in the Eroticism factor would not be relevant. Therefore, it was

decided to exclude people who strongly disagreed that they were currently being

sexually active. If respondents only disagreed (not strongly), this expressed some

ambivalence and it was felt their answers could still be valid. During data collection

some people who had heard or read media material acknowledged that they were

sexually inactive and asked if they could still participate and were courteously

refused.

Normality of data. Prior to factor analysis, data screening indicated many

passionate love related items had a negative skew, with only 14% of the data not

skewed. This means that many of the respondents were very in love with their

partners. The relationship social desirability items were both positively and

negatively skewed, although just under half of these were not significantly skewed.

There is some debate about the appropriateness of using skewed data for factor

analysis. It has been argued that the more skewed the items are, the more restricted

the variance, the less satisfactory the factor analytic solution (Tabachnick & Fidell,

1996) and the less the items are able to distinguish between varying levels of a

characteristic. Tabachnick and Fidell (1996) recommended transformation of

skewed data prior to factor analysis to improve the solution. However, when

variables are transformed for skewness they sometimes have to be interpreted in the

opposite direction. Since not all variables were skewed, not all would need to be

transformed. Hence, grouping data and performing factor analysis would be

complex because interpretation would be direct with some variables and opposite

with some transformed variables - although it can still be done. Comrey (1973)

described using badly skewed distributions as a "common error in the use of factor

analysis" (p. 209). But Hair, Anderson, Tatham, and Black (1984) argued:

The critical assumptions underlying factor analysis are more conceptual than

statistical. From a statistical standpoint, the departures from normality,

homoscedasticity, and linearity apply only to the extent that they diminish

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the observed correlations. Only normality is necessary if a statistical test is

applied to the significance of factors, but these tests are rarely used. In

fact some degree of multicollinearity is desirable, because the objective is to

identify interrelated sets of variables (p. 374).

While it may be better from a statistical point of view to have non-skewed data, in

the real world skewed data may be elicited from certain populations and factor

analytic solutions using skewed data may still be worthwhile. Certainly for

respondents themselves, there would be a preference for being very passionately in

love and perhaps for being seen (by themselves and others) as being very

passionately in love.

Another measure of normality is kurtosis, which is the extent to which the

peakedness or flatness of a plot resembles the normal curve. In principle, the more

the kurtosis varies from normal, the less satisfactory the factor analytic solution.

However, violations of kurtosis are less important than violations of skewness for

larger sample sizes. Underestimates of variance become negligible for negative

kurtosis with a sample size of 100 or more and for positive kurtosis with sample sizes

of 200 or more (Tabachnick & Fidell, 1996).

The skew in the current sample was likely to have occurred because of range

restriction. This happens when measuring an intact pre-selected group whose scores

are distinct from the population (Murphy & Davidshofer, 1998). This is the case

with people who are eligible to participate in the present study, who have to be

currently in an intact relationship for seven years or more. Obviously people who are

in a relationship for this length of time have already made a significant investment in

their relationship and have developed relationship skills (either constructive or not)

that elicit some commitment from their partner. For this reason, in the current

sample, the range of answers about commitment and other relationship

characteristics is reduced and some data are very skewed.

Factor Analytically Based Item Removal

Phase One of Factor Analysis- Item Removal

When developing a scale it is good practice to begin with a large pool of

items that have overlapping content. Items which perform better psychometrically

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(for instance, that have more central means or higher factor loadings) can then be

selected over other similar items. However, this means that when factor analysis is

undertaken there can often be a large number of items to reduce. The appropriate

way to reduce such a pool of items is to begin by removing items from within one

domain and producing a manageable and psychometrically sound factor. Then this

process can be repeated on subsequent domains. "Including all the data available on

a single sample of individuals in the analysis may not be desirable. It is often more

useful to factor several domains separately and then relate the factors" (Gorsuch,

1983, p. 281).

Removal of items from the item pool was made on both psychometric and

conceptual grounds. Items were removed on a conceptual basis if their focus was not

central to the construct or if the concept was covered better by another item. There

was both repetition and overlap of item content, this meant that better items and more

psychometrically sound items could be chosen. For instance, item 101 was "I can

reveal my innermost thoughts and feelings to my partner" and item 90 read "I tell my

partner what I am really thinking". It would have been unnecessary to include both

of these items. Item 101 was chosen over item 90 because it is more comprehensive

and was less skewed than item 90.

The removal of items on psychometric grounds was guided by a number of

criteria that included:

1. Skewness - Non skewed items were chosen over skewed items whenever this was

possible. Very skewed items (skew > 8) were not used unless they were

considered conceptually imperative and there was no alternative (see Appendix D

which was used to facilitate this process).

2. Kurtosis - Items with extreme kurtosis values tended to also have extreme

skewness values. However, if there was very little difference in skewness

between certain items, the ones with the smaller kurtosis were chosen.

3. Item Mean and Standard Deviation - The mean and standard deviation on an item

influence the skewness, but are in themselves important criteria for item removal.

The further from centre the mean is, the less desirable (DeVellis, 1991). The

larger the standard deviation, the greater the range of responses and the more

desirable the item, although this was not the case for the social desirability items

where a low mean was more useful. Respondents who rated a characteristic

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more highly (e.g. describing their partner's habits as perfect) when most

respondents did not, were thought to be more likely to be "faking good".

4. Multicollinearity - If an item is highly correlated with another (r > .8) this

indicates multicollinearity, that is the items are measuring much the same thing

and one is redundant. Even if the correlation is greater than .7 there may be item

redundancy so it is important to inspect the item content and ensure the overlap

of content is not too great.

5. Reliability - An item may diminish the reliability of the whole domain or

contribute very little to it and this may be reason to eliminate it. Low Cronbach's

alpha or corrected item scale correlation indicates poor reliability.

6. Factor Analysis - If an item does not function as expected in a factor analysis it

may need to be excluded, however this decision is itself informed by a number of

important criteria:

a) Communality and factor loading - If an item has a low communality or factor

loading it may not be measuring the same latent dimension as the other items in

the factor and should be considered for deletion. Items with low factor loadings

and low communalities may effectively diminish the variance explained, an

outcome which is undesirable. A factor loading that would be significant for the

sample size was derived according to the criteria established by Hair et al.

(1984). A loading of .45 is significant with this sample.

b) Factor Simplicity - The first phase of factor analysis involved removal of items

in domains. Items were removed if they created an extra factor within the

domain, using the eigenvalues greater than one criterion. Hence, when some

items in the transcendence domain formed a separate factor because they had the

word "God" in them (items 58, 78, 103, 93, 31, 94, 19, 115, 145), it was decided

to exclude these items altogether rather than create another domain.

Example. An example of the factor analysis performed with one domain will

explain how factor analysis was conducted in the first phase. There were seven

domains and these were: affection, differentiation, engagement, enthusiasm,

eroticism, openness/trust and transcendence. Prior to factor analysis the items in the

domain of openness/trust were examined for skewness, kurtosis, means and standard

deviation. There were two facets in this domain - communication and trust (see

Appendix B). In the communication facet there were three very skewed items (items

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114, 63, 106) and it did not seem that any of them were essential to maintaining the

range of content of the facets. Item 63, in particular, had content that was well

covered by other items. Hence no very skewed items were used. This left items 11,

90, 101, 66, 67, and 138 from the communication facet. The facet of trust was highly

endorsed by respondents in the qualitative section of the questionnaire. Hence it was

important to represent this in the final factor of openness/trust. Only three items

were possibly relevant and these were 39, 43 and 87. The latter two items were

highly skewed but were retained because no other alternatives were possible. Hence,

there were nine items in all. Correlations among these items were checked. A

sufficient number were greater than .3 to indicate that factor analysis was

appropriate. When items were checked for multicollinearity, one pair of items (43

and 87) were correlated at .80. A factor analysis was done to establish the factor

loadings of these two items. Item 87 was slightly more skewed, had a lower factor

loading and was less reliable and so was eliminated. The content of item 101

covered the content of items 11 and 90 but the latter two items were also more

skewed, their kurtosis was further from normal and they were less reliable. The

derived factor for Openness/Trust was therefore 6 items in length - items 101, 66, 43,

39, 67, 138.

Rotation. No rotation was undertaken in this phase of factor analysis. The

aim was to produce seven mature passionate love factors. Hence, a single factor was

produced for each domain.

Reliability

Reliability was an important indicator of whether an item should be retained

or removed. Reliability is a measure of consistency of a characteristic or behaviour,

or similarity of response to a set of questions. DeVellis (1991) defined scale

reliability as "the proportion of variance attributable to the true score of the latent

variable" (p. 24).

When developing a scale it is preferable to have reliability that is neither too

high nor too low since there is a need for both homogeneity and heterogeneity in a

scale. If the homogeneity between item scores is too high - indicated by very high

reliability- there is item redundancy, too many items or the breadth of the domain

may not be represented. If the heterogeneity is too great, the content may not be

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represented by enough items, sufficiently pure items or may be contaminated by

other concepts. DeVellis (1991) provided a rating for the reliabilities of research

scales: "below .60 unacceptable; between .60 and .65, undesirable; between .65 and

.70 minimally acceptable; between .70 and .80 respectable; between .80 and .90 very

good; much above .90 one should consider shortening the scale" (p. 85).

Phase Two of Factor Analysis- Refinement of the Item Pool

Once a single, reliable factor had been produced for each domain, all the

items from the derived factor were then put into a large factor analysis for the second

phase of factor analysis in study one. The process of factor analysis ideally involves

experimenting using a number of extraction and rotation methods to elicit the most

meaningful, useful and consistent solution.

When factors are pooled, items may load on factors to which they are not

strictly conceptually related. This is more likely to occur when factors are highly

correlated. It is legitimate to try a series of factor solutions to produce the simplest

factor structure which makes the most conceptual sense, a process called

respecifying the model (Cohen, Swerdlik, & Phillips, 1996; Gorsuch, 1983; Hair et

al., 1984; Tabachnick & Fidell, 1996).

Extraction. Maximum Likelihood was the extraction method in the second

phase of factor analysis. It was chosen because of its efficacy in maximising the

generalisability from the sample to the population (Gorsuch, 1983).

Rotation. In the current study, because there were high correlations among

the factors, it was considered appropriate to use an oblique rotation, although other

rotation techniques were tried and discarded. The method available on SPSS is

Direct Oblimin.

Number of factors. For phase two of the factor analysis, items from the phase

one derived factors were pooled and different solutions were explored. The criteria

used to determine the number of factors present included: eigenvalues greater than

one, the scree plot and the percentage of variance explained by the last factor

(Cattell, 1978; Cohen et al., 1996; Gorsuch, 1983; Hair et al., 1984; Tabachnick &

Fidell, 1996; Tinsley & Tinsley, 1987). Factor solutions containing more and less

factors were tried until the most meaningful solution emerged.

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Results and Discussion

Data were analysed using SPSS for Windows statistical package version 11.

Item means, standard deviations, skewness and kurtosis were calculated and

tabulated to assist in the process of eliminating items (see Appendix D). Prior to

factor analysis, intercorrelations among the items in various domains were performed

to ensure that enough correlations were sufficiently high (r > .3) and indeed the

correlations were appropriate for factor analysis. Also correlations were checked for

evidence of multicollinearity (r > .8) and one of the item pairs which demonstrated

this was among the first items removed in factor analysis.

Factor Analysis Phase One

The first phase of factor analysis involved factor analysing the domains of

mature passionate love separately. Eight reliable, consistent and significant factors

were produced. Seven were produced from the domains of passionate love and one

was a Social Desirability factor. The results of these factor analyses are shown

separately in Tables 5 through 12 and summarised in Table 13. All demonstrated

satisfactory intercorrelations, sampling adequacy, variance explained and reliability.

In the Social Desirability factor, the Edmonds items that had been used from the

Schaefer and Olsen (1991) scale were not as satisfactory as the items developed for

the current study and so were dropped.

Table 5 Results of Factor Analysis for Affection Factor ____________________________________________________________________ Item Item Alpha if Item Factor Communality Number Deleted Loading ____________________________________________________________________ 41 I feel an overwhelming

rush of affection for my partner

.83 .88 .77

76 I feel very tender towards my partner .85 .85 .72

33 My partner and I kiss, hug and hold one another often .85 .82 .68

48 I really adore my partner .85 .81 .66 1 I like to show affection to

my partner .86 .79 .63

______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Bartlett's test of sphericity: Approximate Chi-square (10, N = 187) = 501.74, p < .001, Kaiser-Meyer-Olkin test of sampling adequacy (KMO) = .85, % Variance Explained = 69.27, Overall Alpha =.88.

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Table 6 Results of Factor Analysis for Differentiation Factor ____________________________________________________________________ Item Item Alpha if Item Factor Communality Number Deleted Loading ____________________________________________________________________ 117 I feel acceptable to my

partner because I am acceptable to myself

.72 .74 .54

50 I try to take care of myself so I can be more loving .73 .70 .49

109 I remain true to myself in my relationship .73 .70 .49

129 I see my partner as he/she is .75 .63 .39

54 I tell my partner what is important to me even if he/she disagrees

.75 .62 .38

15 My strength enhances my relationship .75 .62 .38

137 I believe that to really love my partner I must understand myself

.76 .56 .32

______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Bartlett's test of sphericity: Approximate Chi-square (21, N = 187) = 272.24, p < .001, KMO = .80, % Variance Explained = 42.66, Overall Alpha =.77. Table 7 Results of Factor Analysis for Engagement Factor ____________________________________________________________________ Item Item Alpha if Item Factor Communality Number Deleted Loading ____________________________________________________________________ 51 I love to share my interests with my

partner .84 .83 .69

60 When my partner is under stress I try to understand his/her experience .85 .79 .62

143 I try to reach out to my partner when he/she is unhappy or overwhelmed .86 .77 .59

45 I feel that in troubled times I can count on my partner .85 .76 .58

20 My partner and I do exciting things together .86 .74 .55

9 I make time for my relationship even if I am busy .86 .70 .49

88 I show my partner how much I love him/her in the little things I do .86 .70 .49

______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Bartlett's test of sphericity: Approximate Chi-square (21, N = 188) = 537.62, p < .001, KMO = .90, % Variance Explained = 57.42, Overall Alpha =.87.

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Table 8 Results of Factor Analysis for Enthusiasm Factor ____________________________________________________________________ Item Item Alpha if Item Factor Communality Number Deleted Loading ____________________________________________________________________ 134 Getting to know my partner is a

wonderful process .83 .85 .72

26 I think my relationship with my partner is fantastic .84 .77 .59

70 My vitality is expressed in my loving .85 .75 .56 151 I love with so much energy .84 .75 .56 79 I am eager to learn more about my

partner .85 .73 .53

29 My partner is so fascinating it will take me a lifetime to know him/her completely

.86 .70 .49

98 I ask my partner what he/she does and cares about .85 .69 .47

______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Bartlett's test of sphericity: Approximate Chi-square (21, N = 187) = 559.19, p < .001, KMO = .84, % Variance Explained 56.30, Overall Alpha =.87 Table 9 Results of Factor Analysis for Eroticism Scale ____________________________________________________________________ Item Item Alpha if Item Factor Communality Number Deleted Loading ____________________________________________________________________ 124 I feel comfortable suggesting new

ways of making love to my partner .94 .86 .74 46 I get sexually excited thinking about

my partner .94 .84 .70 140 I feel free to tell my partner what I

am thinking when we are having sex .94 .81 .65 57 I feel open to what my partner wants

sexually .94 .79 .63

108 When we are away from one another I fantasize about having sex with my partner

.94 .78 .61

77 I find my partner's sensual touch thrilling

.94 .77 .60 104 I think our sex life is great .94 .77 .60 65 There are still new things that my

partner and I find to do when we make love

.94 .77 .60

38 I feel very comfortable telling my partner what will increase my pleasure when we make love (things like: softer, harder, slower, to the left etc.)

.94 .77 .64

121 I can luxuriate in my partner's sensual touch

.94 .77 .59 42 I feel free to share fantasies with my

partner during sex .94 .71 .50 18 I like to look deeply into my

partner's eyes during sex .94 .71 .50 116 I get playful when we have sex .94 .69 .47 86 I like to take time over sex .94 .68 .46 ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Bartlett's test of sphericity: Approximate Chi-square (91, N = 187) = 1711.12, p < .001, KMO = .95, % Variance Explained = 58.82, Overall Alpha =.95.

111

Table 10 Results of Factor Analysis for Openness/Trust Factor ____________________________________________________________________ Item Item Alpha if Item Factor Communality Number Deleted Loading ____________________________________________________________________ 101 I can reveal my innermost thoughts

and feelings to my partner .86 .85 .73 66 I show my partner who I really am .87 .84 .71 43 I feel confident about the strength of

my relationship .87 .82 .67 39 I am happy to show my fears and

struggles to my partner .87 .81 .65 67 I feel that I have endless things to

talk about with my partner .88 .79 .62 138 I can talk with my partner for hours

and hours .89 .72 .52

______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Bartlett's test of sphericity: Approximate Chi-square (15, N = 187) = 604.71, p < .001, KMO = .84, % Variance Explained = 64.84, Overall Alpha =.89. Table 11 Results of Factor Analysis for Transcendence Factor ____________________________________________________________________ Item Item Alpha if Item Factor Communality Number Deleted Loading ____________________________________________________________________ 120 There are times during sex when I

feel utter ecstasy, completely transported as though time has stopped

.91 .86 .75

153 During sex I sometimes experience that the boundaries between my partner and I blur

.91 .84 .70

126 I sometimes experience that my beloved and I are made of the same essence

.91 .83 .69

131 I experience that time stops during sex sometimes

.91 .83 .68 6 During sex I sometimes experience a

deep sense of merging with my partner

.91 .81 .66

21 There have been times when I feel as though my partner and I are one .91 .80 .64

125 I sometimes experience a profoundly beautiful quietness during sex .92 .77 .59

73 At times I am so moved by our love making that I cry or feel like crying .92 .73 .53

______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Bartlett's test of sphericity: Approximate Chi-square (28, N = 187) = 951.48, p < .001, KMO = .91, % Variance Explained = 65.41, Overall Alpha =.92.

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Table 12 Results of Factor Analysis for Social Desirability Factor ____________________________________________________________________ Item Item Alpha if Item Factor Communality Number Deleted Loading ____________________________________________________________________ 91 Our relationship has been perfectly

harmonious .86 .81 .65 102 I think of my partner positively at all

times .86 .81 .65

32 My partner is perfect .87 .80 .64 59 I think our relationship has been

problem free .87 .79 .63 110 My partner and I speak pleasantly to

each other at all times .87 .77 .60 5 My partner's habits are perfect .87 .76 .58 22 I always remain calm and open if we

disagree .88 .66 .44 ______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Bartlett's test of sphericity: Approximate Chi-square (21, N = 187) = 658.27, p < .001, KMO = .85, % Variance Explained = 59.68, Overall Alpha =.89. Table 13 Factor Analysis Results for Eight Factors ____________________________________________________________________ Factor KMO Approx df Sig % Variance Overall Chi-Square Explained Alpha ____________________________________________________________________ Affection .85 501.74 10 < .001 69.27 .88 Differentiation .80 272.24 21 < .001 42.66 .77 Engagement .90 537.62 21 < .001 57.42 .87 Enthusiasm .84 559.19 21 < .001 56.30 .87 Eroticism .95 1711.12 91 < .001 58.82 .95 Openness/ Trust

.84 604.71 15 < .001 64.84 .89

Transcendence .91 951.48 28 < .001 65.41 .92 Social Desirability

.85 658.27 21 < .001 59.68 .89

______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Note: KMO is Kaiser - Meyer- Olkin's test of sampling adequacy, df = degrees of freedom, Sig. = Significance. Indices of the Strength of the Factor Analytic Solution

The correlations among the factors in the current study were not extreme (see

Table 14) and indicated that there was some degree of independence between the

domains. However, the correlations were high enough to indicate that a satisfactory

factor analytic solution may contain less than the number of factors hypothesised

(that is seven passionate love factors).

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Table 14 Intercorrelations Among the Factors ____________________________________________________________________ Factors 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ____________________________________________________________________ 1. Affection -- .68 .85 .82 .72 .76 .68 .45 2. Differentiation -- .77 .78 .69 .73 .77 .41 3. Engagement -- .81 .70 .79 .68 .46 4. Enthusiasm -- .74 .78 .76 .53 5. Eroticism -- .68 .78 .39 6. Openness/Trust -- .67 .46 7. Transcendence -- .49 8. Social Desirability -- ____________________________________________________________________ Note: All correlations were significant at the p<.001 level.

All chi-square values obtained were highly significant and ranged from

272.24 (Differentiation) to 951.48 (Transcendence). See Table 13 for measures

obtained among derived factors. All factors demonstrated more than satisfactory

levels of sampling adequacy with all values above .8 as shown in Table 13. Most of

the levels of variance explained were more than satisfactory, being above 56%

except Differentiation which yielded a marginal, although acceptable value of

42.66% (see Table 13 for variance explained for all factors).

In the first phase, the largest number of items used in factor analysis from any

particular passionate love domain was 29 for eroticism. This gives a comfortable

ratio of 6.48 participants for each item. All of the other domains had less than 20

items and some had less than 10 items at the beginning of factor analysis. So most of

the phase one factor analyses were performed with a ratio of at least ten participants

per variable.

The reliabilities for the derived factors were very satisfactory. The range of

scores was from .77 for Differentiation to .92 for Eroticism and Transcendence (see

Table13 for the full range of scores). According to DeVellis' (1991) estimation,

domains with reliabilities greater than .9 may be a little high. However, since the

scale was further reduced for the second study, having high reliabilities at this stage

is appropriate as this gives scope for later data reduction.

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Factor Analysis Phase Two

In this phase, all the items belonging to the seven factors derived in phase one

were pooled and factored together, with the exception of the 7 Social Desirability

items. This involved pooling a total of 54 items which included the following

number of items: 5 Affection, 7 Differentiation, 7 Engagement, 7 Enthusiasm, 14

Eroticism, 6 Openness/Trust and 8 Transcendence. The initial solution was nine

factors with eigenvalues greater than one. However, the scree plot indicated that

three factors was the best fit for the data (see figure 2).

Figure 2. Scree plot of overall factor solution.

Prior to rotation most of factors five to nine had small loadings or a small

number of items with loadings greater than .45 (the level needed for factor loadings

to be significant with this size sample, Hair et al., 1984). Direct Oblimin rotation did

not converge (did not produce a factor analytic solution) until four, three or two

factors were specified with this data. Varimax and Promax rotations converged

when the extraction criterion was eigenvalues greater than one and eight factors were

derived. Factors four and five at this stage had four or five items but usually only

two items had loadings greater than .45. To test these factors the factor solution was

Scree Plot

Factor Number

4946434037343128252219161310741

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Scree Plot

Factor Number

46434037343128252219161310741

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115

respecified to remove factors with no loadings over .45 or only one loading over .45.

Factors four and five then had fewer items and so were discarded.

The best solution for these 54 items according to the above findings was a

three-factor solution which was derived using Maximum Likelihood extraction and

Direct Oblimin rotation. The three factors were Affectionate Engagement,

Transcendence and Eroticism and their factor loadings are shown on Table 15. The

three-factor solution did not initially have a simple structure and the first factor

derived from the eroticism and transcendence items produced cross loadings. That

is, some items loaded most highly on factors that principally represented other

domains of passionate love. The original phase one factor analytic solution was

respecified until items were found on the Transcendence and Eroticism factors that

did not cross load. The eroticism items came from a big pool of items and alternate

factor solutions could be tried, even if it meant using some quite skewed items. In

the subsequent respecified factor solution it was necessary to use items with

skewness greater than six, but unnecessary to include any of the six very skewed

items (skewness > 8).

The Differentiation factor did not load in a satisfactory way. One item loaded

on the Eroticism factor, and one loaded greater than .45 on the Affectionate

Engagement factor. Other items did not load significantly on any factor or had small

loadings across all three factors. These items were the least reliable. There was

doubt about whether the Differentiation factor should be retained. However, it was

decided that there were theoretical reasons for retaining these items and trying them

in the second study.

In this second phase of study one, a modest ratio of nearly four participants

was obtained for each item (187 paticipants/54 items). There were strong

correlations among the items and hence there were no empirical indications that the

sampling was inadequate. However, the results of this second factor analysis should

perhaps be interpreted with some degree of caution because of these small ratios.

Despite the fact that the ratio of items to participants was lower than

desirable, the results of the phase-two factor analysis were more than satisfactory.

The KMO measure of sampling adequacy was .95 and Bartlett's test of sphericity

was satisfactory at 7674.96 (1431, N = 187), p < .001. The percentages of the

variance explained by the rotated factors Affectionate Engagement, Transcendence

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and Eroticism were: 44.51, 5.21 and 2.72 respectively. The pattern matrix is shown

in Table 15. Not all items produced factor loadings of .45 and some items cross-

loaded. This first study only required a broad and rather rough item reduction, so the

fact that some items cross loaded and had a factor loading less than .45 was not

necessarily problematic for study one. Table 15 Large Phase Two Factor Analysis Results _________________________________________________________________________ Item#

Item Factor 1 Factor 2 Factor 3

26 I think my relationship with my partner is fantastic .89 -.13 .06 76 I feel very tender towards my partner .84 .03 -.11 43 I feel confident about the strength of my relationship .82 -.09 .04 134 Getting to know my partner is a wonderful process .80 -.02 .05 45 I feel that in troubled times I can count on my partner .79 -.04 -.02 48 I really adore my partner .79 .03 -.02 41 I feel an overwhelming rush of affection for my partner .77 .09 .00 51 I love to share my interests with my partner .75 .07 -.03 67 I feel that I have endless things to talk about with my partner .74 -.09 .04 88 I show my partner how much I love him/her in the little

things I do .70 -.15 .13

138 I can talk with my partner for hours and hours .68 -.02 -.04 101 I can reveal my innermost thoughts and feelings to my

partner .68 .19 -.02

60 When my partner is under stress I try to understand his/her experience

.68 .02 -.06

20 My partner and I do exciting things together .65 .03 .04 66 I show my partner who I really am .65 .09 .00 143 I try to reach out to my partner when he/she is unhappy or

overwhelmed .61 .23 -.11

33 My partner and I kiss, hug and hold one another often .59 .14 .08 98 I ask my partner what he/she does and cares about .58 .13 .00 109 I remain true to myself in my relationship .56 -.04 .14 39 I am happy to show my fears and struggles to my partner .55 .09 .09 1 I like to show affection to my partner .55 .15 .04 117 I feel acceptable to my partner because I am acceptable to

myself .54 .10 .05

9 I make time for my relationship even if I am busy .49 .12 .07 79 I am eager to learn more about my partner .43 .24 .00 29 My partner is so fascinating it will take me a lifetime to

know him/her completely .43 -.07 .22

129 I see my partner as he/she is .43 .04 .10 50 I try to take care of myself so I can be more loving .37 -.02 .30 151 I love with so much energy .35 .26 .19 15 My strength enhances my relationship .27 .00 .27 124 I feel comfortable suggesting new ways of making love to

my partner .06 .82 .04

38 I feel very comfortable telling my partner what will increase my pleasure when we make love (things like: softer, harder, slower, to the left etc.)

.20 .71 .07

108 When we are away from one another I fantasize about having sex with my partner

.14 .70 .03

86 I like to take time over sex -.16 .65 .20 116 I get playful when we have sex -.11 .64 .17 42 I feel free to share fantasies with my partner during sex .12 .60 .03 57 I feel open to what my partner wants sexually .24 .55 .08 65 There are still new thing that my partner and I find to do

when we make love .13 .55 .18

46 I get sexually excited thinking about my partner .27 .52 .13 __________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Table continued next page

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Table 15 Large Phase Two Factor Analysis Results (Cont'd) ____________________________________________________________________ Item#

Item Factor 1 Factor 2 Factor 3

18 I like to look deeply into my partner's eyes during sex -.02 .48 .30 140 I feel free to tell my partner what I am thinking when we are

having sex .31 .48 .16

54 I tell my partner what is important to me even if he/she disagrees

.26 .41 .02

77 I find my partner's sensual touch thrilling .32 .35 .20 104 I think our sex life is great .32 .21 .35 153 During sex I sometimes experience that the boundaries

between my partner and I blur -.01 .00 .82

120 There are times during sex when I feel utter ecstasy, completely transported as though time has stopped

-.06 .17 .80

126 I sometimes experience that my beloved and I are made of the same essence

.19 -.13 .74

131 I experience that time stops during sex sometimes -.04 .18 .73 125 I sometimes experience a profoundly beautiful quietness

during sex .04 .06 .66

6 During sex I sometimes experience a deep sense of merging with my partner

.10 .17 .60

73 At times I am so moved by our love making that I cry or feel like crying

.08 .14 .55

21 There have been times when I feel as though my partner and I are one

.33 .04 .50

121 I can luxuriate in my partner's sensual touch .14 .27 .50 70 My vitality is expressed in my loving .28 .20 .34 137 I believe that to really love my partner I must understand

myself .15 .11 .23

________________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Item # -= item number. Factor one = Affectionate Engagement, Factor two = Transcendence, Factor three = Eroticism.

In order to explore the relationships between the factors, the demographic and

peak experience variables, the items which loaded less than .45 (the factor loading

considered by Hair et al., 1984 to be significant for a sample of this size) were

eliminated. These items put aside were 15, 29, 50, 54, 70, 77, 79, 104, 121, 129,

137, 151. The revised factor solution is shown in Table 16, and Appendix E gives

more details. The meaning of the derived factors is shown on Table 17 and the

correlation among the factors is presented on Table 18. The correlations were quite

strong and this could be partly a reflection of the data being quite negatively skewed.

It could also mean that there is really only one superfactor which underlies that data

and causes items to cross load. This scale was called Assessment of Mature

Passionate Love Study One (AMPL1). A full-scale variable AMPL1(Total) was

computed by summing factor scores. To represent each factor equally, the factor

values were divided by the number of items within each factor.

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Table 16 Reduced Phase Two Factor Analysis Results _________________________________________________________________________ Item#

Item Factor 1 Factor 2 Factor 3

26 I think my relationship with my partner is fantastic .90 -.13 .06 76 I feel very tender towards my partner .84 .03 -.11 43 I feel confident about the strength of my relationship .82 -.09 .06 45 I feel that in troubled times I can count on my partner .79 -.05 .00 134 Getting to know my partner is a wonderful process .79 .00 .06 48 I really adore my partner .78 .03 .01 41 I feel an overwhelming rush of affection for my partner .77 .09 .00 51 I love to share my interests with my partner .74 .06 -.02 67 I feel that I have endless things to talk about with my partner .73 -.11 .06 88 I show my partner how much I love him/her in the little

things I do .70 -.15 .12

101 I can reveal my innermost thoughts and feelings to my partner

.68 .20 .00

138 I can talk with my partner for hours and hours .68 -.02 -.02 60 When my partner is under stress I try to understand his/her

experience .67 .02 -.05

20 My partner and I do exciting things together .66 .02 .04 66 I show my partner who I really am .64 .07 .04 143 I try to reach out to my partner when he/she is unhappy or

overwhelmed .62 .22 -.10

33 My partner and I kiss, hug and hold one another often .59 .14 .07 98 I ask my partner what he/she does and cares about .57 .13 .00 109 I remain true to myself in my relationship .55 .04 .15 1 I like to show affection to my partner .55 .16 .03 39 I am happy to show my fears and struggles to my partner .54 .08 .12 117 I feel acceptable to my partner because I am acceptable to

myself .54 .10 .05

9 I make time for my relationship even if I am busy .49 .12 .08 124 I feel comfortable suggesting new ways of making love to

my partner .07 .83 .02

38 I feel very comfortable telling my partner what will increase my pleasure when we make love (things like: softer, harder, slower, to the left etc.)

.21 .71 -.07

108 When we are away from one another I fantasize about having sex with my partner

.17 .67 -.03

86 I like to take time over sex -.14 .65 .17 116 I get playful when we have sex -.09 .63 .17 42 I feel free to share fantasies with my partner during sex .14 .60 .02 65 There are still new things that my partner and I find to do

when we make love .14 .54 .19

57 I feel open to what my partner wants sexually .27 .52 .08 46 I get sexually excited thinking about my partner .30 .50 .12 140 I feel free to tell my partner what I am thinking when we are

having sex .32 .47 .18

18 I like to look deeply into my partner's eyes during sex .00 .46 .30 153 During sex I sometimes experience that the boundaries

between my partner and I blur .00 -.02 .84

120 There are times during sex when I feel utter ecstasy, completely transported as though time has stopped

-.04 .15 .79

126 I sometimes experience that my beloved and I are made of the same essence

.19 -.14 .76

131 I experience that time stops during sex sometimes -.03 .17 .73 125 I sometimes experience a profoundly beautiful quietness

during sex .05 .07 .65

6 During sex I sometimes experience a deep sense of merging with my partner

.12 .16 .60

73 At times I am so moved by our love making that I cry or feel like crying

.08 .12 .56

21 There have been times when I feel as though my partner and I are one

.34 .04 .50

________________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Item # -= item number. Factor one = Affectionate Engagement, Factor two = Transcendence, Factor three = Eroticism.

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Table 17 Meaning of the Derived Factors of AMPL1 _______________________________________________________________ Factor Factor Meaning _______________________________________________________________ Affectionate Feelings of appreciation and tenderness towards the partner. Engagement Being involved in the relationship, confident about its

soundness and valuing it. Giving and receiving care. Eroticism Sensuousness, sexual openness and communication, good sex

life and attraction Transcendence Experiences of oneness and merging, feeling moved in sex and

through love. Peak experiences including ecstasy, time stops and quietness.

________________________________________________________________ Table 18 Reliabilities and Correlations Between the AMPL1 Factors ______________________________________________________________ Factors 1 2 3 4 Inter Item ______________________________________________________________ 1. Affectionate Engagement -- [.96] .70** .73** .87** .52 2. Transcendence [.92] .74** .93** .60 3. Eroticism [.93] .91** .56 4. AMPL1(Total) [.97] .46 ___________________________________________________________________________ Note: ** p< .01. The alpha reliabilities are on the diagonals. Inter-item = mean inter item reliability.

The factors demonstrated satisfactory alpha reliability values of Affectionate

Engagement .96, Transcendence .92, Eroticism .93 and AMPL1(Total) .97.

However, the mean inter-item reliabilities suggested excessive homogeneity

according to Clark and Watson (1995) who recommended a maximum of .50 (see

Table 18). The mean inter-item figure is a valuable measure of consistency since it

is unaffected by the length of the scale. Thus, it was decided to retain for study two

the extra twelve items that loaded poorly because there may be insufficient variance

without these extra items in study two. Hence, the 54 items from the 7 domain

phase-one factor analyses, the 7 items of the Social Desirability factor and one filter

item were retained for use in study two. Sixty two items were used in total.

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Data Screening for Multivariate Outliers

Screening of data using histograms with a normal curve superimposed

revealed the presence of two multivariate outliers for each of the Affectionate

Engagement and the AMPL1(Total) factor which were transformed so that their

presence did not unduly skew the data. This involved changing their respective

values so that they were less extreme and continuous with the variables that were the

next most extreme as recommended by Tabachnick and Fidell (1996).

Uniformity of Sampling

Independent t-tests were performed to examine whether men and women had

significantly different mean scores on the factors. There were no significant gender

differences in responses to the three derived passionate love factors.

However, there were significant differences between sub-sample groups

whose questionnaires were elicited differently. The Herald Sun sub-sample was

significantly more passionate than the snowball sub-sample (see Appendix F). While

this is not ideal, neither group was large enough to factor independently and the

differences, while statistically significant, were not large enough to indicate that the

samples were vastly different. Hence the sub-sample data were pooled. Tabachnick

and Fidell (1996) proposed that "pooling results from diverse groups in FA may

obscure differences rather than illuminate them. On the other hand, if different

samples do produce the same factors, pooling them is desirable because of increase

in sample size" (p. 639). While in the current study it was not feasible to factor the

sub-samples independently (because the respective samples would not provide a high

enough participant to variable ratio) it was assumed that the sub-samples were

similar enough to factor together.

Relationships Among the Variables

A oneway Analysis of Variance (ANOVA) showed participants who had

experienced psychological counselling (mean = 4.78, SD = .82) were slightly less

likely than those who did not (M = 5.02, SD = .67) to endorse Affectionate

Engagement relationship qualities t(175) = -2.16, p < .05. Similarly, those who read

self help books (M = 4.82, SD = .82) were less inclined than those who did not (M =

5.07, SD = .58) to endorse Affectionate Engagement t(161.84) = -2.38, p <.05.

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These results are somewhat counter intuitive but could be explained if counselling

and self help books were used by more distressed individuals and couples.

Respondents who described an experience that had changed them were slightly more

likely to endorse Affectionate Engagement relationship qualities than those who said

they had not had one (respective means were 5.35, SD = .08 and 4.58, SD = 88,

t(45.92) = 5.89, p < .001).

Educated respondents were less likely to be Erotic (r = -.15, p < .05) and

tended to regard their relationships as less passionate (r = -.15, p <.05). This perhaps

reflects more cognitive, less bodily and less sensual functioning. Transcendent

experiences were slightly more likely among those whose children were older (r =

.18 , p < .05) and who worked shorter hours (r = .15, p < .05, see Table 19). A one

way ANOVA showed participants who were married twice were more likely than

those married once to be Affectionate and Engaging, be Erotic, have Transcendent

experiences and highly endorse AMPL1(Total), although the twice married sample

was quite small (see Table 20). The participants with older children were in a phase

of their life recognised as more likely to be fulfilling and less stressful (Feeney,

Peterson & Noller, 1994), a state perhaps more conducive to ecstatic sex. The lack

of stress argument also applies to participants who worked shorter hours and had

more transcendent sex. The life experience of the trials and joys of child raising and

divorce could also increase the emotional capacity for mystical sex. However, the

correlations were not large and may not be stable across samples.

Table 19 Correlations of AMPL1 and Derived Factors with Demographic Variables (N = 187) ____________________________________________________________________ Affectionate Transc Eroticism AMPL1 Engagement -endence (Total) ____________________________________________________________________ Age .03 .10 -.09 .01 Education Level -.11 -.11 -.15* -.14 Hours Worked per Week -.08 -.15* .02 -.09 Length of Relationship .01 .06 -.12 -.01 Mean Age of Children .12 .18* -.03 .09 ____________________________________________________________________Note: * p<.05. Higher education level indicated greater number of years at school..

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Table 20 Married Once Versus Married Twice Bias Demonstrated on AMPL1(Total) and Passionate Love Factors with Means, Standard Deviations and Independent T-tests ____________________________________________________________________ Number of Marriages

Two One t (df) (N = 19) (N = 150) Factors M SD M SD ____________________________________________________________________ Affectionate Engagement 5.30 .43 4.85 .78 2.50*(167) Eroticism 4.75 .72 4.25 1.05 2.69*(30.78) Transcendence 4.89 .89 3.92 1.26 3.33***(172) AMPL1(Total) 14.85 1.77 13.00 2.74 4.00***(30.62) ____________________________________________________________________ Note. * p< .05, *** p < .001, df = degrees of freedom. Range for AMPL1 factors = 1-6, Range for AMPL1(Total) = 3-18. ____________________________________________________________________ Construct Validity

Construct validity indicates whether a construct measures what it is reputed to

measure and functions as it is supposed to (DeVellis, 1991). The self perception of

levels of passionate love (measured by a single item measure) was highly correlated

with scores on the AMPL1(Total) (r = .70, p <.001). This strong correlation

provides evidence of construct validity, indicating that the items which have been

purported to measure passionate love, strongly correspond to people's perception of

what mature passionate love entails and whether they have achieved it.

Qualitative Data - What is Mature Passionate Love?

Respondents were asked "what do you think are the important characteristics

of mature passionate love?" Their answers were integrated into the process of item

selection. Facets of passionate love which were more highly endorsed by

respondents were more likely to be included in the phase one factor analysis, even if

they were quite skewed. Respect was highly endorsed in qualitative responses, and

this quality was more implied than explicitly included in the quantitative items. As

there was particularly strong emphasis in the qualitative data on caring and being

cared for, trust, and commitment, items that approximated these qualities were

retained if possible. A summary of the qualities endorsed and the number of

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respondents endorsing them are included in Table 21. Also a comparison of

qualitative characteristics of mature passionate love and the items is given in

Appendix G. Responses in Table 21 are grouped broadly within the seven

categories, a process that facilitates the comparison with the AMPL1 items.

Table 21 Defining Characteristics of Mature Passionate Love from Qualitative Questions ____________________________________________________________________ Grouping Characteristic Number of Respondents Particular Characteristic Endorsing Trust/Intimacy/Communication Trust 56 Communication/talking/listening 41 Honesty 24 Closeness/intimacy 21 Openness 13 Faithfulness 12 Responsibility 4 Security 3 Affection Affection/touching 24 Love 22 Compassion/warmth/devotedness/tenderness/liking 12 Unconditional love 4 Other (romance, love for family, choosing love) 2/1/1 Differentiation/Separateness Respect 48 Self-sacrifice/putting your partner first/giving 16 Allowing your partner independence/space/to be themselves/to develop 14 Personal happiness/self esteem/contentment 13 Personal independence/maturity/being yourself 9 Grow/change 6 Integrity 3 Accept differences 3 Other (freedom, no tallies, boundaries, lack of fear, wisdom) 2/1/1/1/1 ____________________________________________________________________ Table continued on next page

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Table 21 Defining Characteristics of Mature Passionate Love from Qualitative Questions (Cont'd.) ____________________________________________________________________ Grouping Characteristic Number of Repondents Particular characteristic Endorsing ____________________________________________________________________ Engagement/Care Understanding 29 Friendship 23 Time together/involvement/shared activity/companionship 22 To be there for each other/considerate/aware of other's needs 22 Caring 18 Commitment 12 Comfort with each other 12 Mutuality/mutual satisfaction/pleasing each other 10 Give and take/equality 8 Dealing with conflict/differences 8 Acts of love 3 Appreciation/sensitivity 3 Relaxation 3 Spontaneity 3 Desire to please 3 Eroticism Desire/attraction 18 Good sex 11 Having sex/regular sex/being a sexual person 6 Sexual generosity/consideration 4 Sexual compatibility 3 Sensuality 3 Other (sexual communication, acceptance of differences, inventiveness) 2/2/1 Enthusiasm/Humour Humour/fun/silliness/play 21 Common goals/purpose/values 8 Learning about each other/similarity/compatibility/interest in each other 8 Passion/passion for life 5 Enjoyment 4 Spirituality Joining of souls/shared spiritual development 4 ____________________________________________________________________

Overall there was a high degree of concordance between respondents' notions

about the characteristics of mature passionate love and the 153 items. Notable

exceptions were humour and joy - which were endorsed in the qualitative data, but

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not included in the items measuring passionate love. Spiritual relationship qualities

were not often associated with participant's descriptions of mature passionate love -

only four respondents made this association. However, all seven passionate love

categories were included in respondents' answers.

The strength of the endorsement of qualities within the qualitative answers to

the question about the important characteristics of mature passionate love was used

to assist in the selection of items for use in study two. The effect of using these

endorsements in this way is that qualities important to long term partners were

largely represented. The possible disadvantage of this process is that data were more

likely to be skewed.

Qualitative Data - Peak Experiences

In the qualitative section of the questionnaire, respondents were asked "Have

you ever had a peak experience in a love relationship, for example: an experience of

profound oneness, incredibly intense joy during sexual contact or arising from loving

your partner? If so, could you describe this experience". Most people (79%)

responded positively to the question.

This question was asked to (a) explore whether the peak experiences reflected

companionate or passionate love experiences or both; (b) determine the incidence

and character of mystical love and sexual experiences if they were found to exist; (c)

examine the relationship between relevant qualitative experiences and the

Transcendence factor; (d) explore the relationship between such experiences and

traditional religiosity; and (e) compare qualitative and quantitative evidence about

the content of the passionate love domain.

Seven categories were elicited from the data and they are contained in Table

22 along with the numbers of respondents endorsing them. The inter-rater reliability

was 73%. Since there was overlap on categories, this rate is low but acceptable. The

differences between the raters were resolved by discussion.

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Table 22 Qualitative Peak Experiences Categories and the Numbers Endorsing Them ____________________________________________________________________ Category Category Description (Number of endorsements) ____________________________________________________________________ Mystical Experiences involve a distinct spiritual dimension. It is not an (21) experience of intense oneness, more an actual blending into each

other, merging, souls entwining. Experiences could involve changes from ordinary consciousness: for example unboundedness or an extraordinary sensual experience. Time stopping, feeling like you are in heaven, or experiencing God through love or sex may be experienced.

Closeness Coming through a life event (e.g. a birth) or an experience of (32) resolution, comfort, learning, growth, resolution, learning and moving

together in the face of a trial, fear or difficulty (e.g., ) death or difficult patch. Includes giving or receiving comfort and support.

Connection Deep sense of connection. Oneness, or togetherness. (11) Emotional Joy, gratefulness, appreciation, bliss, yearning for partner, intensely State loving a partner. Absorption in an emotional response to partner or (22) their behaviour (except comfort).

Sexual The emphasis is on the experience of oneness during or after sex. Oneness The oneness is experienced in a sexual context. (12) Passion Involving sexual, lusty and orgasmic experiences or a passionate time (18) or interlude or time away. Nonspecified No detail, or respondent wrote "as above" indicating agreement with (14) the wording in the question No Response (57) ____________________________________________________________________

Respondents who described themselves as having had a peak experience of

passionate love in response to a yes/no question were significantly more likely to

perceive themselves as having affectionate engaging, erotic and transcendent

relationships than those who answered no to this question (see Table 23). The

occurrence of peak experiences is compatible with the theories of Fromm (1962) and

Schnarch (1991, 1997). These empirical relationships therefore provide evidence of

construct validity.

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Table 23 Peak Experience Bias Demonstrated on AMPL1(Total) and Passionate Love Factors with Means, Standard Deviations and Independent T-tests ____________________________________________________________________

Peak Experiences Yes No t (df)

(N = 144) (N = 37) Factors M SD M SD ____________________________________________________________________ Affectionate Engagement 5.08 .58 4.27 .99 4.76***(42.76) Eroticism 4.56 .82 3.43 1.19 6.69***(177) Transcendence 4.36 1.11 2.80 .99 7.78***(179) AMPL1(Total) 13.97 2.16 10.57 2.73 7.01***(48.82) ____________________________________________________________________ Note. *** p < .001, df = degrees of freedom. Range of AMPL1 factors = 1-6, AMPL1(total) = 3-18. Note there is an apparent discrepancy between the "no" answers in this table and the "no response" in the previous table. The no response category in the previous table included people who had had a peak experience and chose not to describe it. ____________________________________________________________________

A series of one way ANOVAs revealed significant differences among the

groups reporting different types of peak experience (which formed the independent

variable in these analyses) on AMPL1(Total) and its factors (these factors and the

total score were the dependent variable, see Table 24). Post hoc Scheffe tests

revealed that those reporting mystical peak experiences were more likely than those

not reporting peak experiences to endorse AMPL1 and all passionate love factors.

Those reporting closeness/comfort experiences were more likely to endorse

Eroticism, Transcendent and AMPL1(Total) factors than those not reporting peak

experiences. Those reporting connection and passion peak experiences were more

likely to endorse the Transcendent factor than respondents not reporting peak

experiences. Finally, respondents reporting sexual oneness peak experiences were

more likely to endorse the Transcendence than those not reporting peak experiences.

The mean differences and the significance of the Scheffe tests are reported in Table

25.

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Table 24 Significant Differences Between Peak Experience Groups Found for AMPL1(Total) and Its Factors ________________________________________________________________________ Factor df F Sig. _____________________________________________________________ Affection 7, 176 4.03 <.001 Engagement Transcendence 7, 181 8.88 <.001 Eroticism 7, 179 6.65 <.001 AMPL1(Total) 7, 173 8.14 <.001 _____________________________________________________________

Companionate love type peak experiences. There was evidence of Hatfield's

companionate love among the qualitative data. People were enormously enriched,

supported and moved by the love they gave and received. Sharing the joys and

heartaches of living deepened their respect for and gratefulness towards their partner.

A number of people were very touched by the care they received from their mate

when someone they loved died - a child, a parent, a close friend. One woman wrote:

"when our son died my husband stood by me, he made me pull myself together &

become whole again. He was my strength & my light out of a dark tunnel I had put

myself in - It made me realise how much my husband cared for me & our future

together. It made me a very strong & independent person". Sharing loss also melded

couples together: "When my daughter and grand-daughter left to go to New Zealand

my grand daughter was three and my husband and I had been intensely involved with

her alone at home we cried in each other's arms, we needed each other so badly. I

had never seen my husband like that before". Another woman described how being

accepted despite her disfigurement deepened her love: "After my accident I felt

useless and undesirable but my husband made me feel wanted and loved and helped

me accept that with a useless leg I was still a woman and still capable of having sex".

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Table 25 Post Hoc Tests Showing Significant Differences Between Reported Peak Experience Categories and Those Not Reporting Peak Experiences. ____________________________________________________________________

Peak Experiences Reported Not Reported Sig Factors M SD M SD Scheffe ____________________________________________________________________ Affectionate Engagement Mysticism 5.24 .44 4.49 .96 <.05 Eroticism Mysticism 5.08 .54 3.70 1.18 <.001 Closeness

/Comfort 4.55 .84 <.05 Transcendence Mysticism 4.95 1.16 3.19 1.22 <.001 Closeness

/Comfort 4.13 1.15 <.05 Connection 4.58 .86 <.05 Sexual Oneness 4.64 .57 <.05 Passion 4.76 .79 <.001 AMPL1(Total) Mysticism 15.25 1.85 11.38 2.85 <.001 Closeness /Comfort 13.64 2.30 <.05 Connection 14.37 2.21 <.05 Passion 14.49 1.80 <.005 ____________________________________________________________________ Note. The numbers of respondents who reported peak experiences are as follows: mystical 21, closeness 32, connection 11, sexual oneness 12, passion 18 and no response 57. The number of respondents giving no response to the peak experiences is higher than the previous table because this includes both those who did not respond and those who indicated they did not have an experience.

Sharing the birth of a child, was a peak love experience for several

respondents. "A profound oneness at the birth of our children: was an experience of

incredible unity and love. Amazement at being able to create this wonderful creature

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by our love relationship". But sometimes just the sense of loving the partner was

intensely fulfilling: "When I'm with my husband I feel happy and complete. Even

when I think of him in a quiet moment I feel so happy it can bring tears to my eyes.

Also when I think of my family as a whole, my heart feels so full". Another person

wrote: "I have felt intense joy occasionally from loving my partner, more just from

looking at them or thinking about them". Another woman was gratified by "just the

joy of seeing someone who sees you as valuable, beautiful and a necessary part of his

life". There was evidence of wonderful marriages and relationships that include joy,

intense appreciation and profound connection. However, many of the qualitative

responses indicate that really important love experiences had not been fully

incorporated in Hatfield and Rapson's (1998) notion of companionate love. The non-

sexual aspects of long term lovers had not been described richly or passionately

enough.

Transcendent/mystical peak experiences. Transcendent experiences were

often deeply moving for respondents, and were another dimension of passionate love

not described by Hatfield and Rapson (1998). Love making was often described in

mystical terms with experiences of "total loss of time and a complete joining of

spirit", "time stopped", "feelings of spiritual and physical merging", "we had melted

together", "unboundedness", "profound oneness", "a bonding of two souls", "'oneness

like no-one else or anything else mattered" and "conscious and unconscious selves

united briefly". This sense of merging was breathtaking for one woman: "blending

into him, being inside his mind, skin, blood and he is mine…I was left with a feeling

of wonder and awe".

Some respondents were spiritually close to their partners during and after

love making: "I often had experiences of profound oneness when we would reach

orgasm together and then lying at peace in one another's arms". Others describe very

mystical experiences in sex or love: "intense joy, exhilaration, profound sense of my

husband's love for me, and through him, God's love for me - an overwhelming

experience, like being bathed in joy, transcending the physical. A very spiritual

experience". Other unusual spiritual experiences included: "…a night of love

making that went for hours. It was pure joy and when I climaxed it was like I left my

body and saw a glistening crystal palace".

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Some of the triggers were not necessarily sexual: "it was just a simple kiss

which made me feel like I was transported into another place where there were

magical lights all around us and I felt that I became part of him. For a few minutes it

was like we were both alone in this beautiful place and that nobody could ever

separate us - we both had this experience!!"

These experiences were certainly consistent with the notion of a transcendent

quality to mature passionate love and the experiences of merging described

qualitatively were present in the content of the transcendence items. Transcendent

experiences were not included often in respondent definitions of mature passionate

love. However, peak experiences in love and sex had content which was consistent

with the transcendent items. One hundred and twenty one of the 147 respondents

who had peak experiences were changed or affected by this peak experience.

Despite transcendent experiences being infrequently identified with passionate love,

respondents valued these love and sexual experiences, of which transcendent

experiences were a part. Brehm (1988), Person (1988) and Schnarch (1991, 1997)

argued that transcendent experiences belong with the passionate love domain and

need to be represented there.

Sexual/passionate peak experiences. The qualities of attraction, lovemaking

and erotic sexual experience were ascribed to mature passionate love by the

respondents in the qualitative section of the data. Sexual communicativeness,

playfulness, experimentation and sexuality per se were endorsed as important aspects

of mature passionate love by respondents. Sexual qualities were also an important

aspect of peak experiences in love. For instance, one person wrote: "sex is great and

always surprises me that we are so connected in bed after all these years". Another

said: " Intercourse is still a great joy". Some people emphasised the simultaneous

experience of caring and sexual contact: "First sexual experience after realising I was

in love not lust (13 years ago). Still experience intense joy through sexual contact

particularly when something is happening in our lives. That reminds us how

important our love is to each other". Another person described the healing effect of

caring love making: " After a very difficult patch within our relationship, part of

emotional closure of the difficulties was making love with both of us expressing our

needs + feelings at that time. We took time to really prepare ourselves for intimate,

love-making - it was wonderful!" For several respondents good sex, orgasm and

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mutual orgasm were often peak experiences. For others, peak experiences occurred

when they went away together as a couple: "during a weekend away for our wedding

anniversary, my husband and I became completely lost in providing pleasure for each

other. The natural climax being a wonderful simultaneous orgasm".

The pivotal importance of sexual experience and communication in intimate

loving is reiterated in the qualitative responses to the peak experiences and "what is

mature passionate love" questions. This provides evidence that eroticism is a core

content dimension of mature passionate love.

Folk theory versus the theories of Schnarch and Fromm. Theory and folk

definitions both contribute to giving appropriate definition and weighting to

passionate love domains. The validity of the content of the passionate love domains

of the AMPL1 is enriched by the fact that Schnarch's concepts are derived, at least

partly, from clinical experience as a marriage and sexual therapist. His theories are

based on the experiences of couples in long-term relationships which he was

privileged to hear about as a therapist. The experiences of some of the differentiated

couples in Schnarch's (1991, 1997) work are consistent with some of the peak

experiences described in this study.

For some people love becomes richer and deeper over time. Schnarch and

Fromm's notions that love in long term relationships can, at its best, be passionate

and even mystical at times was certainly evidenced in these qualitative responses.

In sum. The qualitative data provide clear support for Fromm and Schnarch's

notions about mature passionate love and the content dimensions of the AMPL1.

The data indicate that mature passionate love does indeed have a companionate

dimension. However, transcendent relationship qualities were also demonstrated to

be an important aspect of peak experiences. Respondents valued such experiences

and considered them peak love and sexual experiences. Further, erotic and sexual

attitudes were considered a central aspect of mature passionate love and this is born

out in the peak experience descriptions and mature passionate love characteristics

given. Therefore, the qualitative data provide clear support for the three derived

factors of mature passionate love: Affectionate Engagement, Transcendence and

Eroticism.

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Limitations

It would have been preferable to have a larger pool of participants so that the

statistical power for performing the second stage of factor analysis was greater. A

single sample or series of samples that was well distributed across the population as a

whole would have been better, but this was not possible. The data collected for study

one were not representative of the population as a whole and so its generalisability is

limited. Also different sub-samples were exposed to different levels of prompting

about passionate love, because of media coverage. This possibly caused method

bias. The phase-two factor analysis did not produce the seven hypothesised factors

and produced a few weak loadings. Items from the Differentiation factor in

particular loaded negligibly, inappropriately or weakly across all factors. The

number of items and the relatively low item to participant ratio for phase two of the

factor analysis meant that independent, high loading factors were not likely to be

produced. However, the study produced factors that were meaningful and the

desired reduction in item numbers was achieved.

The 62 Item Version of the Assessment of Mature Passionate Love

Study one aimed to reduce a 153 items measure to a more manageable size.

Factor analysis was undertaken in two phases. In phase one eight reliable factors

were produced. In phase two, the items from seven factors (that is social desirability

items were not included) were pooled. Unfortunately a three factor solution (and not

a seven factor solution) best represented the data and when items with non-

significant loadings were eliminated the factors produced had excessive mean inter

item reliability. It was decided to retain all 62-items to measure passionate love in

study two otherwise the subsequent scale may suffer from excessive homogeneity.

The items used for study two are presented in Table 26. The scale included one filter

item (item 60), 7 Social Desirability items, 14 Eroticism items (extras were included

in case a separate eroticism scale was produced but this did not happen), 8

Transcendence items and 32 Affectionate Engagement items (see Table 26). These

62 items included all the 42 items from AMPL1 described above plus 12 items put

aside because they did not load highly on the phase two factor analysis. Hence, the

62 items used for study two were all ones that were produced from phase one of the

factor analysis.

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Table 26 Items Used for Study Two ____________________________________________________________________ AE 1. I make time for my relationship even if I am busy SD 2. My partner's habits are perfect AE 3. My strength enhances my relationship AE 4. My partner is so fascinating it will take me a lifetime to know him/her completely E 5. I feel comfortable suggesting new ways of making love to my partner AE 6. I can reveal my innermost thoughts and feelings to my partner AE 7. I like to show affection to my partner T 8. During sex I sometimes experience that the boundaries between my partner and I blur E 9. I get sexually excited thinking about my partner AE 10. My partner and I do exciting things together SD 11. I always remain calm and open if we disagree AE 12. I try to take care of myself so I can be more loving AE 13. I am eager to learn more about my partner E 14. I feel free to tell my partner what I am thinking when we are having sex AE 15. I show my partner who I really am AE 16. My partner and I kiss, hug and hold one another often T 17. I sometimes experience that my beloved and I are made of the same essence E 18. I feel open to what my partner wants sexually AE 19. I show my partner how much I love him/her in the little things I do SD 20. My partner is perfect AE 21. I remain true to myself in my relationship AE 22. Getting to know my partner is a wonderful process E 23. When we are away from one another I fantasize about having sex with my partner AE 24. I feel that I have endless things to talk about with my partner T 25. I sometimes experience a profoundly beautiful quietness during sex E 26. I find my partner's sensual touch thrilling AE 27. I love to share my interests with my partner SD 28. I think our relationship has been problem free AE 29. I tell my partner what is important to me even if he/she disagrees AE 30. I ask my partner what he/she does and cares about E 31. I think our sex life is great AE 32. I can talk with my partner for hours and hours AE 33. I feel an overwhelming rush of affection for my partner T 34. I experience that time stops during sex sometimes E 35. There are still new things that my partner and I find to do when we make love AE 36. When my partner is under stress I try to understand his/her experience SD 37. Our relationship has been perfectly harmonious AE 38. I feel acceptable to my partner because I am acceptable to myself AE 39. My vitality is expressed in my loving E 40. I feel very comfortable telling my partner what will increase my pleasure when we make

love things like: softer, harder, slower, to the left etc. AE 41. I am happy to show my fears and struggles to my partner AE 42. I really adore my partner T 43. There are times during sex when I feel utter ecstasy, completely transported as though time

has stopped E 44. I can luxuriate in my partner's sensual touch AE 45. I try to reach out to my partner when he/she is unhappy or overwhelmed SD 46. I think of my partner positively at all times AE 47. I see my partner as he/she is AE 48. I love with so much energy E 49. I feel free to share fantasies with my partner during sex T 50. During sex I sometimes experience a deep sense of merging with my partner E 51. I like to look deeply into my partner's eyes during sex T 52. At times I am so moved by our love making that I cry or feel like crying __________________________________________________________________________________ Table continued next page

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Table 26 Derived Items Used for Study Two (Cont'd.) ____________________________________________________________________ AE 53. I feel that in troubled times I can count on my partner SD 54. My partner and I speak pleasantly to each other at all times AE 55. I believe that to really love my partner I must understand myself AE 56. I think my relationship with my partner is fantastic E 57. I get playful when we have sex AE 58. I feel confident about the strength of my relationship AE 59. I feel very tender towards my partner Filter 60. I currently have sex, or some form of sexual contact with my partner T 61. There have been times when I feel as though my partner and I are one E 62. I like to take time over sex ____________________________________________________________________ Note AE = Affectionate Engagement, SD = Social Desirability, E = Eroticism, T = Transcendence.

Conclusion

The purpose of study one was to explore and conceptualise mature passionate

love using the theories of Fromm and Schnarch, expert opinion and the experiences

and definitions of respondents. A second goal was to produce a measure of mature

passionate love based on these ideas and then reduce the data using appropriate

statistical techniques and conceptual processes. These goals were accomplished.

Factor analysis was performed on seven hypothetical domains of mature passionate

love and social desirability items. Eight reliable and statistically sound factors were

produced. In phase two of the factor analysis the seven domains were pooled and a

three-factor solution produced the factors of Eroticism, Transcendence and

Affectionate Engagement. These derived factors were consistent with qualitative

experiences described by respondents. However, the incidence of peak experiences,

particularly mystical ones, was surprising to the author. Nevertheless, both the single

item relationship gauge and the categorised quantitative material correlated with the

derived factors as expected and provided evidence of construct validity. In study two

(to follow), these factors were assessed for reliability and validity, using an

independent sample, and the relationship of the current findings with existing

research is then discussed. The power and the quality of the mystical and peak

experiences as well as their relative absence from psychological literature on love,

indicates that more research needs to be undertaken in this area. Further research

could potentially enrich theories of passionate love by describing its possibilities.

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CHAPTER SEVEN

Study Two

Overview

The overarching aim of the current study was to further explore the nature,

content and measurement of mature passionate love. Another aim was to expand on

the information about peak experiences from the first study. The passionate love

measure derived in study one was again reduced in size and its psychometric

properties explored. Using a new sample, the number of items was reduced via

empirical and conceptual considerations as well as factor analysis to produce a scale

titled: the Assessment of Passionate Love Study Two (AMPL2). The reliability of

the derived measure was assessed for internal consistency (alpha), mean inter-item

correlations and temporal consistency (test-retest). The validity of the AMPL2 was

explored using factor analysis, correlating the derived scale with existing measures

and by measuring its correlation with social desirability.

Validity

The process of gathering evidence about the validity of a construct can take

many forms. In the current study the soundness of the construct of mature passionate

love was explored by examining the correlations of the derived scale with existing

measures. Correlations of an expected size with existing measures provide evidence

of convergent and discriminant validity (DeVellis, 1991). Measures with which the

construct is conceptually unrelated should either have a low or a non-significant

correlation (e.g., extroversion - which is largely unrelated to mature passionate love).

Findings of this nature provide evidence of discriminant validity. Measures that are

indirectly related to the construct are expected to have a low to moderate correlation

(e.g., positive affect). Measures that are more directly related to the construct are

expected to have a moderate or a moderately strong relationship (e.g., Eros sub-scale

of the Love Attitude Scale, Hendrick & Hendrick, 1990) and such a finding provides

evidence of convergent validity (DeVellis, 1991). Murphy and Davidshoffer (1994,

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p. 122) stated that "convergent validity is the first step in establishing construct

validity".

DeVellis (1991) suggested that showing that a measure is not moderately or

strongly related to social desirability provides evidence of validity. Briggs and

Cheek (1986), Comrey (1988) and Hinkin (1995) have recommended that factor

analysis be used during or soon after a scale is developed to establish whether a scale

is behaving statistically as it was intended. However, Hinkin also suggested that

using more than one sample may be needed to demonstrate that the factor solution is

not sample specific. Also, Hinkin stated that the generalisability of a factor solution

and confidence in its construct validity may increase when more than one sample is

used. Construct validity is indicated when a measure "behaves" in the way it is

expected to behave (DeVellis, 1991).

A scale's ability to measure construct content that is not measured by existing

scales is called incremental validity and it is usually important that new scales

demonstrate some evidence of this. Cohen et al. (1996) define incremental validity

as "the degree to which an additional predictor explains something about the criterion

measure not explained by predictors already in use" (p. 184). Kline (1986) described

it as the ability of a test to increase the multiple correlation among a battery of tests

to a particular criterion. The development of a new scale would tend to take place

when previous measures of a construct are non-existent or deficient in content or

psychometric soundness. The current study is based on the argument that previous

measures of passionate love are either too short (not covering the construct

adequately e.g., Eros factor, Love Attitudes Scale, Hendrick & Hendrick, 1990) or

directed at the experience of young or new lovers, rather than lovers of all ages, or

more mature lovers (e.g. Passionate Love Scale (PLS), Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986).

Hence, an important aspect of this research was examining whether the derived

factors do indeed provide an improvement or greater depth and breadth in the

measurement of mature passionate love.

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Method

Participants

Participants in this study were required to be currently in a sexually intimate

relationship of any length with only one member of a couple responding.

Questionnaires were returned from 305 participants, of which six were excluded

because the respondents were sexually inactive and one was excluded because both

couple members had responded. This left 298 participants of whom 201 (70%) were

females and 86 (30%) were males, with 11 participants not nominating their gender.

The mean age of women was 36.24 years (SD = 13.64) and the men were 47.80 years

(SD = 15.91) on average. The mean age for the whole sample was 39.49 (SD =

15.35) and the participants were between 17 and 82 years old. The mean length of

relationship was 12.31years (SD = 12.76), and relationships ranged between a few

weeks and 57 years. Unmarried respondents comprised 37.8% of the sample, 53.4%

had married only once and 8.6% were married twice or more, 82 (28.5%) were

currently living in a de facto relationship and 63 (21.9%) were not living with their

partner. Eight respondents classified themselves homosexual. Sixty seven percent of

the sample had children, who were on average 11.06 years old (SD = 13.23). Three

quarters (78.5%) of the sample were born in Australia and 79.6% were currently

living in Victoria and 76.1% were living in an urban environment. The majority of

respondents (172 or 58.5%) had attained at least a tertiary degree and 138 (47.3%)

were professionals, managers or paraprofessionals according to the Australian

Standard Classification of Occupations (McLennan, 1997).

Religiosity. Most respondents (61% or 180) did not nominate a particular

religious denomination. Forty participants (13.4%) were Roman Catholic, exactly

half that were Anglican, 12 (4.1%) were Uniting Church and 25 (8.4%) were

members of other Christian denominations. Forty participants went to church at least

several times per month.

Return rate. The overall return rate was 25.9%. Among people who

responded to media requests to participate and were sent a questionnaire, 46.7%

followed through and returned them. Of the 114 e-mail questionnaires sent, 65 were

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returned either by being printed up and posted or were returned as attachments to an

e-mail.

Measures

Mature passionate love. The measurement of mature passionate love in this

study began with 62 items, described in chapter 6. This present study involved the

reduction of this scale to a 31-item instrument titled the Assessment of Mature

Passionate Love Study Two (AMPL2) which had five factors - Affection/Arousal,

Differentiation, Sexual Openness, Transcendence, Trust and one filter item. This

process is described in full in the results section. The reduction was undertaken

because preliminary evidence from study one phase two factor analysis suggested

item redundancy. The entire questionnaire is presented in Appendix H.

Qualitative measure of peak experiences. This was a single item asking

respondents to describe their peak experiences in love or sex. The same question

was asked in the first study, but in the second study more space was provided for the

response, to encourage more detailed answers. The responses were collated into

themes and inter-rater reliability was checked.

Positive and negative emotions. The tendency to feel both positive and

negative emotions was measured using the well-known and well-used Positive and

Negative Affect Schedule (PANAS, Watson, Clark, & Tellegen, 1988). This was

chosen to establish whether respondents' happiness and good feelings largely

explained endorsement of passionate loving attitudes. The scale has shown

satisfactory reliabilities for positive affect ranging from .86 to .90 and for negative

affect from .84 to .87. Evidence of the validity of PANAS has been demonstrated by

its moderate correlations with the Beck Depression Inventory (Beck, Ward,

Mendelson, Mock, & Erbaugh, 1961) and the State Anxiety Scale (Spielberger,

Gorsuch, & Lushene, 1970) and high correlations with Diener and Emmons' (1984)

measure of positive and negative affect. Respondents were asked to rate how often

they generally experienced one of 20 emotions on a Likert type scale where 1 = very

slightly or not at all and 5 = extremely.

Love styles. Hendrick and Hendrick developed a scale to explore the notion

that love in intimate relationships is consistently expressed in a number of styles.

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The latest version of the Love Attitudes Scale (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1990) has been

widely employed in love and relationship research. The Eros factor, which measures

passionate love in particular, was used to discern whether the AMPL2 is measuring

something similar to an existing, well used instrument. The reliabilities for the

factors reported by the authors were respectively Eros .74, Ludus .77, Storge .78,

Pragma .81, Mania .78 and Agape .84. Tzeng (1993) found low reliabilities of

between .53 and .77 for the subscales. The scale, particularly the Eros subscale, was

highly correlated with other measures of love including Rubin's (1970) Love Scale

and Spanier's (1976) Dyadic Adjustment Scale. The items were rated on a 5 point

Likert type scale where 1 = strongly agree and 5 = strongly disagree.

Passionate love. Passionate love was measured using the 15-item version of

Hatfield and Sprecher's (1986) Passionate Love Scale. The scale measures

physiological arousal, longing for, attraction to, affection for and desire to know the

beloved using cognitive, emotional and behaviourally oriented items. The scale was

chosen because it is a widely used measure of the construct and the authors reported

an alpha reliability of .94 and evidence of validity from its high correlation with

Rubin's (1970) Liking and Love Scale. Tzeng (1993) noted that the scale

demonstrated reliability (Cronbach's alpha = .92) and validity with its high

correlation with 20 other measures of love and intimacy, particularly Rubin's (1970)

Love Scale and the Passion Component of Sternberg's (1998, published later but

previously used) Triangular Love Scale. The introductory statement was not used

because it defined passionate love in terms that contradicted the current emphasis

and could create confusion. The scale was measured on a five point Likert type scale

where 1 = not at all true and 5 = definitely true. The scores on the 15 items were

summed to produce the passionate love rating.

Maturity of love. The capacity to love without excessive need, according to

Maslow's theory of B and D love, was measured using Peterson's 18-item (1986) B

or D Love Scale. No psychometric details were included with the publication of this

scale; it was used because no alternative measure of mature love was available. The

scale was probably developed originally for educative rather than for measurement

purposes. Originally a yes/no response format was suggested, as these love styles

were considered mutually exclusive and distinct from one another. However this

response style limits scale variance, which may be problematic with this relatively

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short scale (DeVellis, 1991). In the current study the response format used was a 6

point Likert type scale where 1 = very untrue of me and 6 = very true of me.

Religiosity. Two measures were used to examine religious or spiritual

attitudes and affiliation. The religiosity scale used in study one was amended after

feedback written on a couple of the questionnaires that questioned the narrowness of

the concept of God in the previous version. It was decided that the term "God"

should be changed to "God or Higher Power" and a preamble was included which

read:

The following questions concern your attitude towards spirituality. Please

interpret the term "God or Higher Power" in a way that is consistent with

your understanding of spirituality. That is, if you believe more in the

Universal Self, Spirit, Tao or void (in the Buddhist sense), please use that

spiritual understanding where the words "God or Higher Power" are written.

The name of the scale was also changed from "Attitudes to Religion" in version one

to "Attitudes to Spirituality" in the second version. The response format was a six

point Likert type scale where 1 = very untrue of me and 6 = very true of me.

In the current study a Spiritual Transcendence Scale (Piedmont, 1999) was

also used because it could measure Christian, non-Christian and non-mainstream

notions of spirituality. Since it was hypothesised that transcendence was a dimension

of passionate love, it was important to investigate transcendence in a non-

relationship context. Reliability scores (Cronbach's alpha) reported by Piedmont for

the three subscales: Connectedness, Universality and Prayer Fulfillment were .65, .85

and .85 respectively. The scale's moderate to high correlations with religious and

spiritual items provided evidence of construct validity. The response format was a

six point Likert type response where 1 = very untrue of me and 6 = very true of me.

The items from the three sub-scales were summed to produce three sub-scale scores.

Relationship generosity. The relationship of mature passionate love to giving

behaviours was measured using the "Willingness to Sacrifice Scale" (Van Lange et

al., 1997). This measure was strongly associated with relationship commitment and

altruism and chosen for this research because the relationship of these constructs to

the AMPL2 may help describe the content of mature passionate love. This scale was

thoroughly validated by the authors, in six studies (three cross sectional surveys, two

longitudinal studies and one simulation experiment). Reliabilities for the final

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version of the measure were Cronbach's alphas .68 to .72. Evidence of convergent

validity included correlations with Spanier's (1976) Dyadic Adjustment Scale.

Questions were asked about how readily respondents would consider giving up an

activity not related to their relationship, but that was extremely important to them, for

the sake of their relationship. The response format specified by Van Lange et al. was

a 9 point Likert type scale where 0 = definitely would not consider giving up and 8 =

would definitely consider giving up.

Relationship health. The extent to which a lover was content and satisfied in

a relationship was measured using the satisfaction subscale of Spanier's (1976)

Dyadic Adjustment Scale. Four sub-scales were in the original measure: satisfaction,

cohesion, consensus and affectional expression with reported reliabilities between

.73 and .94. Evidence of validity was demonstrated by the correlation between the

Dyadic Adjustment Scale and the Marital Adjustment Scale (Locke & Wallace,

1959). Hunsley and Pisent (1995) suggested that the satisfaction sub-scale is an

adequate substitution for the full scale since it explains almost all the variance and is

the principal dimension giving rise to the correlation between the Dyadic Adjustment

Scale and other relationship measures. The satisfaction sub-scale was used because

relationship satisfaction is logically related to relationship resilience (the capacity of

people in relationships to keep their relationship intact). Correlations between the

satisfaction sub-scale and the AMPL2 would suggest the utility of the AMPL2 as a

marker of relationship resilience. This sub-scale included seven items with a

response format specified by Spanier of a Likert type scale where never =0 to all the

time = 5 and one item with a range from 0 (never) to 4 (every day). Item 9 gave a

seven-point response which expressed the degree of happiness with the relationship.

Item 10 gave six options regarding the future of the relationship.

Personality. The tendency to be anxious and worry (neuroticism) and be

sociable and excitement seeking (extroversion) was measured using Eysenck's

Personality Inventory (Eysenck & Eysenck, 1987). Neuroticism and extroversion

have been described as major determinants of personal and relationship adjustment

(McLennan, 1987). This measure was chosen to help explicate the qualities of the

measures of maturity or differentiation within the AMPL2. The 48 items were

answered in a yes/no format where yes = 1 and no = 2. This scale has been widely

used and described as valid and reliable (Braithwaite, 1987). After reverse scored

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items are adjusted, the sum of the sub-scales scores indicates the strength of

extroversion and neuroticism.

Psychological adjustment. Ryff (1989a) explored the notion that happiness

and life satisfaction do not necessarily cover positive functioning adequately and so

developed a scale measuring Psychological Well Being. Some of the sub-scales of

this measure are related to personal maturity, and may be useful for comparison with

the AMPL2 maturity items. The scale has six sub-scales: Self-acceptance, Positive

Relationships with Others, Autonomy, Environmental Mastery, Purpose in Life and

Personal Growth. Four standard versions of the scale have been administered

comprising sub-scales all with 3, 9, 14 or 20 items. In the current study a 6-item sub-

scale version of the scale was used. The reliability of the 14 item version sub-scales

were: .83-.91. Evidence of convergent validity included high correlations with life

satisfaction (Life Satisfaction Index, Neugarten, Havighurst, & Tobin, 1961) and self

esteem scales (Rosenberg, 1965) and low correlations with depression scales (Zung,

1965). A validation of the 18 item version (3 items per subscale) was undertaken

(Ryff & Keyes, 1995) using a large nationally representative sample of adults (N=

1108) but its use was not recommended. Confirmatory factor analysis provided

support for the 6-factor model. In the current study a six point Likert type scale was

used where 1 = strongly disagree and 6 = strongly agree. Reverse scored items were

recoded and the sub-scale scores were summed to produce the measures of the facets

of well being.

Sexuality. Hoon and Chambless (1998) developed the 14 item Sexual

Arousability Inventory to measure the level of sexual arousal in response to a series

of physical and cognitive stimuli, ranging from dancing to reading suggestive or

pornographic poetry. This scale was chosen for the current study to explore the

association between respondents' sexual responsiveness, relationship functioning and

measures of eroticism within the AMPL2. This scale has been shown to have a

reliability of .88. Evidence of validity includes correlations with sexual arousal,

sexual frequency and sexual satisfaction. The scale indicated areas of sexual

function that may be problematic and measured therapeutic changes in a series of

studies conducted by the authors. The response format is a 7 point Likert type scale

where 0 = adversely affects arousal; unthinkable, repulsive, distracting and 6 =

always causes sexual arousal; extremely arousing.

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Social desirability. Even with anonymous questionnaires respondents may

not provide answers consistent with their behaviour, feelings and thoughts, but rather

provide answers they see as socially desirable. In order to assess whether the items

of the AMPL2 are subject to the influence of social desirability two measures were

administered. The first comprised 7 items by the author and her supervisors that

were embedded within the mature passionate love items. This measure was

constructed because there was no known effective measure of relationship social

desirability.

The second measure of social desirability was a shortened form of the

Marlowe-Crowne scale. Although this measure was not relationship specific it could

provide evidence of validity should the passionate love social desirability scale look

promising. The Marlowe Crowne scale was used in addition to the EPI Lie scale

since in previous research the EPI Lie scale had not been found to be reliable

(Woodward et al., 2001). Reynolds (1982) found the 13 item form was both reliable

(alpha = .76), highly correlated with the 33 item version and correlated adequately (r

= .41) with Edwards' (1970) Social Desirability Scale. A true/false answer format

was used. This scale was chosen because it is widely used and shows evidence of

reliability and validity (Ryska, 1993). A summary of the scales used is presented in

Table 27.

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Table 27 Summary of Scales and Subscales ____________________________________________________________________ Scale Subscale Source __________________________________________________________________________________ Assessment of Mature Passionate Woodward Love Study 2 (AMPL2) Attitudes To Spirituality Woodward B and D Love Scale B Love Peterson (1986) D Love Dyadic Adjustment Scale Satisfaction Subscale Spanier (1976) Eysenck Personality Inventory Extroversion Eysenck and Eysenck (1987) Neuroticism Lie Love Attitude Scale Agape Hendrick and Hendrick (1990) Eros Ludus Mania Pragma Storge Marlowe Crowne (Short form) Reynolds (1982) Positive and Negative Affect Scale Negative Affect Watson et al. (1988) Positive Affect Passionate Love Scale Hatfield and Sprecher (1986) Sexual Arousalbility Scale Hoon and Chambless (1998) Spiritual Transcendence Scale Connectedness Piedmont (1999) Prayer Fulfillment Universality Well Being Scale Autonomy Ryff (1989a) Environmental Mastery Personal Growth Positive Relations with

Others Purpose in Life Self Acceptance Willingness to Sacrifice Van Lange et al. (1997) __________________________________________________________________________________

Procedure

Data Collection

A convenience sample was used. Acquaintances, relatives, friends and

friends of friends were approached to participate and distribute questionnaires

(snowball method). Student, teacher and staff involvement was sought from specific

faculties of Swinburne University in Melbourne, Australia (Psychology, Human

Services and Graduate School of Entrepeneurship) and its Tertiary and Further

Education sectors (Business faculty). First year psychology students from

Swinburne University received course credit for participating. The researcher

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engaged in a publicity campaign through national and local media outlets to

encourage community participation (see Table 28 and Appendix I). Mostly

respondents became involved by contacting the researcher by phone and

volunteering to participate. However, some volunteers conducted their entire

correspondence through e-mail or using e-mail and then mail. As a result, the

researcher had direct involvement with some participants who gave feedback about

their experience of and opinions about mature passionate love and mature sexuality,

aside from the responses to the questionnaire material.

It was recognised that the sample may again not be fully representative,

perhaps emphasising relationships where individuals were happy and "in love". An

attempt to include a clinical or sub-clinical sample (who would presumably be less

happy on average) through the Victorian branch of Relationships Australia (an

Australia-wide government funded relationships counselling organisation) was

unfortunately unsuccessful.

Table 28 Origin and Frequencies of Returned Questionnaires (N=298) ____________________________________________________________________ Sample Origin Number of questionnaires % of total Returned ____________________________________________________________________ Special Student Sample* 70 23.5 Snowball 97 32.4 Radio: Life matters 9/10/01 53 17.8 Morning program 31/10/01 6 2.0 Drive show 26/11/01 9 3.0 Derryn Hinch 15/11/01 2 0.7 Newspapers: The Age 28/10/01, 4&15/11/01 21 7.0 Herald Sun 25/11/01 14 4.7 Magazines: Swinburne University News Autumn/02 22 7.4 Country Women's Association January/02 2 0.7 Living Now March/02 2 0.7 ____________________________________________________________________ * Students received course credit for participating in this project ____________________________________________________________________

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Results

Data Screening

Data were analysed using SPSS for Windows package 11.0. An initial

inspection of means and standard deviations revealed that except for one item and the

author's passionate love social desirability items, the items to be used in the

development of the AMPL2 were considerably negatively skewed. Further, many

items also exhibited significant kurtosis. These findings were problematic,

indicating items were answered very similarly and did not discriminate between

people well.

Descriptive Statistics

Multivariate Outliers

The data from scales other than the AMPL2 were inspected for multivariate

outliers and variables were transformed using the method described in the previous

study and outlined by Tabachnick and Fidell (1996). Firstly, the pattern of outliers

was examined to see if the same cases were outliers in different variables. This was

not the case, so extreme values were transformed so that they became continuous

with the previous values, rather than disconnected from them. Two Dyadic

Adjustment Scale cases, and one case for the Passionate Love Scale, the Well Being

Purpose in Life sub-scale and the Love Attitude Scale Pragma sub-scale were

adjusted to decrease the influence of outliers. All the scales became less skewed as a

result of these transformations.

Practice Effect

To test for practice effects two versions of the questionnaire were given. The

first two scales within the questionnaire were at the beginning of both questionnaire

versions - the passionate love and the spirituality scale both by the author. Creating

two versions involved placing the other scales in different sections of the

questionnaire. Practice effects would be demonstrated by the versions producing

statistically significant different means on t tests for the scale scores being measured.

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These scales include the Spiritual Transcendence Scale, the Dyadic Adjustment

Scale, the Marlowe Crowne scale, Eysenck Personality Inventory, Love Attitude

Scale, Positive and negative Affect Scale, the Well Being Scale, The Sexual

Arousability Inventory, the Willingness to Sacrifice and the Passionate Love Scale.

However, no significant differences were found on a series of t-tests and the data

from both these versions were pooled. The lack of difference indicates that tiredness

or boredom (personal variables likely to be altered with practice) did not affect the

answers given and suggests that measurement error associated with practice was not

produced.

Reliability of the Other Measures

Most scales were sufficiently reliable to be used for comparison with the

AMPL2. The Lie subscale of the Eysenck Personality Inventory was an exception

with a reliability of .43. The B and D love scale needed to have items removed to

produce adequate reliability and the two subscales were reduced from 9 items down

to 5 and 7 items respectively, and still only had marginal reliabilities (.67 and .63

respectively). Ryff's (1989a) Well Being Scale had barely adequate reliability with

alphas of between .62 and .79 - suggesting that the 9 or 14 item sub-scale versions of

the scale may have been more satisfactory. However the scale was reliable enough

to provide useful comparisons with derived measures (see Table 29).

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Table 29 Means, Standard Deviation, Range and Reliability of Scales and Subscales ____________________________________________________________________ Scales M SD Absolute Reliability Subscales Range (alpha) ____________________________________________________________________ Attitudes to Spiritualitya

29.10 12.70 9-54 .93 Institutional Spirituality 2.61 1.43 1-6 .87 Personal Spirituality 3.45 1.47 1-6 .93 B and D Love Scaleb

B Love 22.95 3.80 5-30 .67 D Love 27.94 4.65 7-42 .63 Dyadic Adjustment Scalec 41.37 5.64 2-52 .84 Eysenck Personality Inventoryd

Extraversion 36.18 3.83 24-48 .70 Lie 15.05 1.65 9-18 .43 Neuroticism 37.12 5.28 24-48 .85 Love Attitude Scalee

Agape 24.75 4.91 7-35 .82 Eros 27.97 4.39 7-35 .73 Ludus 13.55 5.08 7-35 .75 Mania 17.61 4.95 7-35 .72 Pragma 13.70 5.53 7-35 .84 Storge 22.41 5.75 7-35 .80 Marlowe Crownef 6.33 3.02 13-26 .71 PANASg Negative Affect 18.91 6.66 10-50 .89 Positive Affect 38.43 5.18 10-50 .82 Passionate Love Scaleh 55.69 10.74 15-75 .90 Sexual Arousability Inventoryi 62.22 10.79 0-78 .86 Spiritual Transcendence Scalej

Connectedness 25.33 5.42 6-36 .72 Prayer Fulfillment 25.84 11.43 9-54 .91 Universality 38.29 10.50 9-54 .92 Well Beingk

Autonomy 26.20 4.27 6-36 .67 Environmental Mastery 26.44 3.95 6-36 .62 Personal Growth 28.92 3.87 6-36 .64 Positive Relations With Others 27.21 4.54 6-36 .68 Purpose in Life 27.52 4.43 6-36 .68 Self Acceptance 28.07 4.64 6-36 .79 Willingness to Sacrificel 15.94 8.09 0-32 .78 ____________________________________________________________________ NB. (N = 298) a = Woodward; b = B and D Love Scale, (Peterson, 1986); c = Satisfaction Subscale, (Spanier, 1976); d = (Eysenck & Eysenck, 1987); e = (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1990); f = short form (Reynolds, 1982); g = (Watson et al., 1988); h = (Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986); i = (Hoon & Chambless, 1998); j = (Piedmont, 1999); k = (Ryff, 1989a); l = (Van Lange et al., 1997).

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Factor Analysis of the Passionate Love Items

Item Removal

The items derived from the first study were again subject to factor analysis.

There was an initial pool of 62 items, one of which was a filter item used to ascertain

whether respondents were currently sexually active, which was not used in the factor

analysis. The seven social desirability items were reduced to a five item scale which

was reliable (alpha = .83, mean inter-item correlation = .48, test-retest = .86),

however correlation with the Marlowe Crowne social desirability measure was not

strong (r = .33, p < .001). The interpretation of these items was not straightforward,

and the pattern of correlations suggested that the scale was measuring both

idealisation and relationship social desirability. Hence, it was dropped as a pure

measure of social desirability. Item 43 was also eliminated because it had high factor

loadings (in study one) but was not conceptually clear. This item read "There are

times during sex when I feel utter ecstasy, completely transported as though time has

stopped". Also two Transcendence items that did not mention sex were excluded for

the sake of content uniformity. This left a pool of 51 items to begin the factor

analysis in the second study.

Empirical criteria for item removal included: removing items that were too

highly correlated with others (multicollinearity), those that decreased reliability and

those that cross loaded, produced their own factor or loaded on small factors in factor

analysis.

Conceptual criteria for retaining items, were that they were very important to

the construct. Attraction is a core aspect of passionate love according to Hatfield and

Sprecher (1986), and arousal and enjoying sex are important according to Hendrick

and Hendrick (1990). Trust was highly valued by respondents who described the

important characteristics of mature passionate love in study one, so despite its skew

this factor was retained. Item 51 (about eyes open sex) tended to load independently,

have a low factor loading or load on different factors. Schnarch (1997) described the

capacity to have eyes open sex and eyes open orgasm as difficult to achieve without

differentiation and hence this item was retained.

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Transformation of Items

In order to explore the most effective way to represent the data in the face of its

skewness, the viability of transforming the variables was examined at the stage when

various factor solutions were being tried. Tabachnick and Fidell (1996) suggested

that the appropriate process for items with a moderate negative skew is a square root

transformation (New X = square root (K - X) where K = the largest number in the

Likert type scale + 1). Items with substantial negative skew can be transformed

using a logarithmic transformation (New X = Log to base 10 (K-X)). An item pool

was produced using items that could be transformed to produce a normal distribution

using either a square root or a logarithmic transformation. Sixteen items that could

not be transformed using these methods were extremely skewed and were not used.

Items with means greater than five (in a one to six range) were largely avoided -

producing an item pool of 29 items. Two three-factor solutions were produced using

two item pools - (a) one with mostly skewed items and (b) one produced with

transformed and the one non-skewed item. The solutions were substantially the

same. Since this type of transformation can affect the properties and performance of

a construct, items in a non-transformed state were used in subsequent analyses.

Factor Solution Comparisons

Different factor solutions were compared. A three-factor solution with non-

transformed items (discussed above) was examined. Using a pool of 29 items, three

reliable factors were obtained: Mature Care, Sexual Openness, and

Transcendence/Arousal (see Appendix J). However, the content of Mature Care was

conceptually deficient and did not represent the non-sexual content of passionate

love satisfactorily.

A careful exploration of alternative factor solutions was undertaken. A two-

factor solution was produced which represented mature passionate sexuality rather

than mature passionate love. This solution included two factors:

Transcendence/Arousal and Sexual Openness. Most of the items of these factors had

factored together consistently throughout study one and the different factor solutions

- indicating the solidity of the solution. This solution represents the soundest

solution from a statistical point of view, but did not provide an adequate tool for the

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measurement and discussion of mature passionate love. This solution is presented in

Appendix K.

It was possible to produce a five-factor solution with reliable factors that

included four cross loading items. The factors produced were: Affection/Arousal,

Trust, Sexual Openness, Differentiation and Transcendence (see Table 30). These

factors are described in Table 31 and their qualities elucidated during the discussion

of validity. This solution was finally chosen, despite the items being extremely

skewed and cross loading, because it represented the construct in the broadest, most

comprehensive and conceptually meaningful way. Cross loading items were retained

since their loadings on the second factor were usually marginal and they were

conceptually important to the construct. The scale was called AMPL2 and a sum of

the scores for all five factors (with each equally represented) was called

AMPL2(Total). The extraction method was Maximum Likelihood and the rotation

Direct Oblimin. Full factor analytic details are given in Appendix L.

Transformation of Outliers and Skewness of the Derived Factors

This solution suffered from considerable skew with two of the factors having

means above 5 with a 1-6 range. The pattern of multivariate outliers was examined

and for the Affection/Arousal factor three cases had data transformed and two cases

had data transformed for the AMPL2(Total). The outliers were moved closer to the

other variables so they were continuous with them and thus did not unduly influence

the distribution of the factors. The resulting solution was less skewed. Descriptive

statistics are presented in Table 32.

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Table 30 Factor Loadings for Five Factor Solution of the AMPL2

Item 1 2 3 4 5 AFFECTION/AROUSAL 7 items alpha = .87 16 My partner and I kiss, hug and hold one another often 68 10 01 01 00 33 I feel an overwhelming rush of affection for my partner 63 13 07 02 -11 42 I really adore my partner 62 21 15 -11 02 56 I think my relationship with my partner is fantastic 59 07 10 20 03 26 I find my partner's sensual touch thrilling 53 -04 03 06 36 9 I get sexually excited thinking about my partner 47 -22 11 10 35 22 Getting to know my partner is a wonderful process 47 22 07 08 16 TRUST 5 items alpha = .79 41 I am happy to show my fears and struggles to my partner -12 71 18 02 05 29 I tell my partner what is important to me even if he/she

disagrees 04 55 11 14 -04

53 I feel that in troubled times I can count on my partner 30 53 -16 04 -01 15 I show my partner who I really am 10 51 25 09 -03 45 I try to reach out to my partner when he/she is unhappy

or overwhelmed 23 37 08 07 21

SEXUAL OPENNESS 6 items, alpha = .87 49 I feel free to share fantasies with my partner during sex 02 -05 77 08 05 5 I feel comfortable suggesting new ways of making love

to my partner 01 16 69 -06 13

14 I feel free to tell my partner what I am thinking when we are having sex

13 08 69 02 02

40 I feel very comfortable telling my partner what will increase my pleasure when we make love (things like: softer, harder, slower, to the left etc.)

-02 24 58 04 10

18 I feel open to what my partner wants sexually 16 -09 45 10 23 57 I get playful when we have sex 19 -05 41 22 05 DIFFERENTIATION 5 items alpha = .71 12 I try to take care of my self so I can be more loving -10 03 08 66 -02 39 My vitality is expressed in my loving 18 -05 12 56 10 38 I feel acceptable to my partner because I am acceptable

to myself 08 -01 08 55 -04

55 I believe that to really love my partner I must understand myself

-11 09 -23 46 17

3 My strength enhances my relationship 10 07 -02 45 -01 TRANSCENDENCE 7 items, alpha = .84 34 I experience that time stops during sex sometimes 07 -05 03 00 76 25 I sometimes experience a profoundly beautiful quietness

during sex 00 -05 02 07 65

8 During sex I sometimes experience that the boundaries between my partner and I blur

06 -05 00 -01 64

50 During sex I sometimes experience a deep sense of merging with my partner

25 00 11 -04 64

52 At times I am so moved my our love making that I cry or feel like crying

-05 15 00 07 51

62 I like to take time over sex -03 03 13 10 50

51 I like to look deeply into my partners eyes during sex -04 13 31 -06 34

Note: Decimal points have been removed from factor loadings. Factor 1 = Affection/Arousal, Factor 2 = Trust, Factor 3 = Sexual Openness, Factor 4 = Differentiation, Factor 5 = Transcendence. N = 298.

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Table 31 Descriptions of Five Derived AMPL2 Factors ____________________________________________________________________ Factors Description ____________________________________________________________________ Affection/Arousal Feelings of tenderness, liking, appreciation for partner and

verbal and physical expressions of those feelings. Sensuality, lust and attraction

Differentiation Independence, self knowledge, self acceptance, vitality and the

capacity for generosity Sexual Openness Sexual openness and communication of desires and fantasies.

Sexual adventurousness, consideration and playfulness Trust Communication of thoughts and feelings. Allowing exposure

of who I am, what I fear. Caring for each other Transcendence Peak experiences including time stops and profound quietness.

Experiences of oneness and merging, feeling moved in sex and through love. Taking time over sex.

____________________________________________________________________ Table 32 Means, Standard Deviation, Range, Skew and Kurtosis for the AMPL2(Total) and its Factors Factor Mean SD Absolute Range Skew Kurtosis Affection/Arousal 5.02 .83 1-6 -8.80 4.57 Differentiation 4.69 .71 1-6 -3.29 1.18 Sexual Openness 4.67 .98 1-6 -7.20 4.35 Transcendence 4.33 .98 1-6 -5.36 1.45 Trust 5.22 .67 1-6 -9.71 8.81 AMPL2(Total) 23.91 3.25 5-30 -6.46 3.89 Social Desirability 16.78 5.17 5-30 -.01 -2.20 Note: N = 298, SD = Standard Deviation. The Social Desirability factor represents items which measure both social desirability and idealisation but are not included in the AMPL2(Total). The figures presented represent values after the transformations were undertaken to remove the influence of outliers. The mean scores are scale means, with whole scale scores divided by the number of items.

Sample Differences

Data were collected using different methods for study two (i.e. snowball,

students, and media, see Table 28). The scores on AMPL2 factors for samples from

different sources were compared using oneway ANOVA and post hoc Scheffe test

(see Appendix M). The data from the different sources were pooled for factor

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analysis, since the difference between only two sources was significant with the post

hoc Scheffe test. The sources were assumed to be similar enough to use together.

Gender Effect

To establish whether the AMPL2 scores were influenced by gender, t-tests

were performed to assess statistical differences in means. No significant differences

were found in the AMPL2 scores except for the Trust factor (t(284) = 3.05, p < .01)

where the men had an average score of 5.06 (SD = .64) and the women an average of

5.31 (SD = .64). This means that women tended to be significantly more trusting,

communicative, caring or more able to express themselves in the relationship. The

sample was, however, sufficiently homogeneous to enable using both men and

women in the factor analysis.

Factor Analytic Process and Results

Prior to factor analysis a correlation matrix of the items was examined. There

were many correlations in excess of .3, indicating that factor analysis could be used

appropriately (Hair et al., 1984). The ratio of participants to items was very

satisfactory at approximately 6 to 1 (Gorsuch, 1983).

The five-factor solution was produced using Maximum Likelihood Extraction

and Direct Oblimin Rotation since the factors were reasonably correlated with one

another. Factor loadings greater than .3 were considered significant (Hair et al.,

1984). However, there were four cross loading items. In sub-scale production, these

items were only included with the factor on which they loaded most highly.

The Kaiser Meyer- Olkin measure of sampling adequacy indicates adequate

intercorrelation among the items for factor analysis and in the current study was

excellent at .92. The variance explained by the rotated factors were

Affection/Arousal 33.69%, Trust 5.57%, Sexual Openness 4.60%, Differentiation

3.86% and Transcendence 2.04% - a satisfactory amount. Bartlett's Test of

Sphericity was highly significant: approximate Chi-Square (df = 435) = 4271.66, p <

.001. According to Hinkin (1985) the closer the chi square value is to the degrees of

freedom the better the fit of the model, indicating that the current model is not a good

fit. The pattern matrix is shown in Table 30. The intercorrelation among the factors

was high but all were less than .7 and the correlations of the factors with the

AMPL2(Total) were all satisfactorily high (see Table 33).

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Table 33 Intercorrelations Among the Factors of the AMPL2 (N = 298) ___________________________________________________________________

D SO T TE AMPL2(Total) ___________________________________________________________________ AA .42 .63 .59 .64 .85 D .34 .41 .45 .65 SO .51 .61 .83 T .39 .71 TE .83 ____________________________________________________________________ NB: All correlations are significant at the .001 level. AA= Affection/Arousal, D = Differentiation, SO = Sexual Openness, T = Trust, TE = Transcendence.

The degree of intercorrelation among the factors was moderate. There has to

be sufficient relationship among items in order for factor analysis to be an

appropriate grouping procedure. However, if the relationship between the derived

factors is too high, there are possibly too many factors being produced. The degree

of correlation among the factors is rather high, but there are conceptual differences

between the factors, which appear to be empirically useful, and which provide a

rationale for retaining the five factors (Briggs & Cheek, 1986). All factors were

highly correlated with the scale as a whole, which provides evidence of scale

homogeneity (see Table 33).

The derived factor solution also represents the best fit of the data according to

the eigenvalues greater than one criterion. The scree plot suggested that a single

factor or five-factor solution may be the best factor solution (see Appendix L).

Reliability of the AMPL2

Cronbach's Alpha

The reliability of the derived scale was satisfactory with Cronbach's Alpha

scores of Differentiation .71, Trust .79, Transcendence .84, Sexual Openness .87 and

Affection/Arousal .87. The reliability of the 30 items of the AMPL2(Total) was .93

(see Table 34).

Clark and Watson (1995) suggested that scale developers should strive for a

coefficient alpha of at least .8 and if this figure is not achieved, they recommend

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revisions be made. This principle should be taken into consideration in future

research that uses the scale and suggests that the Differentiation factor may not be

consistent enough in its present form. However, the current sub-scales are more than

satisfactorily reliable for exploring the construct and comparing it with other

measures. Clark and Watson also suggested that scale development needs to be

undertaken with a heterogeneous sample. This condition has not been achieved in

the current research. Therefore, it was considered premature to apply rigorous

parameters concerning whether factors were retained or rewritten.

Table 34 Reliability Among the Factors and AMPL2(Total) ___________________________________________________________________ Measures N AA D SO T TE AMPL2(Total) ___________________________________________________________________ Mean Inter-item Correlation 298 .53 .33 .52 .44 .43 .32 Cronbach's Alpha 298 .87 .71 .87 .79 .84 .93 Test- Retest Correlations 68 .88 .69 .86 .81 .90 .88 ___________________________________________________________________ Note: AA= Affection/Arousal, D = Differentiation, SO = Sexual Openness, T = Trust, TE = Transcendence.

Mean Interitem Correlations

Briggs and Cheek (1986) suggested that alpha reliability is an insufficient

measure of a scale's consistency since it is influenced by scale length. A more

rigorous test is the mean inter-item correlation which averages an item's correlation

with the whole scale. They recommend a range of between .2 and .4 for an optimal

degree of homogeneity, whereas Clark and Watson (1995) recommend .15-.50.

Mean interitem correlations in the .1 or less range indicate that a single construct is

not being measured and excessive homogeneity is indicated by correlations which

exceed .5 (Briggs & Cheek, 1986). Mean interitem correlations for the current study

were: Affection/Arousal .53, Trust .44, Sexual Openness .52, Differentiation .33,

Transcendence .43 and for AMPL2(Total) .32 (see Table 34). This indicates a

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reasonably satisfactory balance of sameness and difference between the items, the

factors and the scale as a whole. There was however excessive homogeneity in the

Sexual Openness and Arousal/Affection factors, perhaps evidence of item

redundancy or insufficient breadth in the factors.

Test Retest Reliability

In order to test the temporal stability of the AMPL2, 68 of the respondents

answered the scale again after a gap of between 6 and 13 weeks. The scale showed

satisfactory to extremely good reliability. The values were Sexual Openness .86,

Affection/Arousal .88, Trust .81, Differentiation .69, Transcendence .90 and for the

scale as a whole the value was .88. Interestingly, the Differentiation scale again

demonstrated the weakest reliability (see Table 34).

The test-retest reliability for the scale compares very favorably to the test-

retest values obtained by Hendrick and Hendrick (1986), using the Love Attitude

Scale. In their first study, the values ranged between .60 and .78 and in study two

from .70 to .82. The time between measures was not mentioned. This was

undertaken on a student sample where the scores would be expected to be less stable.

In an assessment of adult attachment the test retest scores over a ten week period

were between .76 and .84 (Feeney, Noller, & Hanrahan, 1994). Hence, the obtained

scores in the current study demonstrated that aspects of mature passionate love

tended to be relatively stable over time, and were generally at least as good as other

comparable measures.

Validity of the AMPL2

Having a sound factor analytic solution provides evidence of construct

validity according to Briggs and Cheek (1986) and Hinkin (1995). The results of the

factor analysis in study two are somewhat ambivalent. There are cross loadings and

some items are unstable (the factors they load onto change during item removal e.g.,

item 51). Also there are differences between the solutions of study one and study

two and the chi square to degrees of freedom ratio indicates the model does not fit

very well. However, the factors make conceptual sense, are conceptually rich and

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are reliable. Overall, the factor solution provides some evidence of construct

validity.

Convergent and Discriminant Validity

Inspecting the pattern of correlations between the AMPL2(Total), its factors

and other variables provides evidence of discriminant and convergent validity (see

Table 35). The measures that were most conceptually similar to the AMPL2, that is

those that explicitly measured passionate love and sexual arousability were

moderately correlated with the AMPL2. Eros was correlated at .61 (p < .001), the

PLS was correlated at .55 (p < .001) and the Hoon and Chambless (1998) Sexual

Arousability Inventory was correlated at .47 (p <.001) with AMPL2(Total). These

findings can be taken as evidence of convergent validity. Also, there was a

moderately strong relationship between the AMPL2(Total) and the B-Love measure

(Peterson, 1986) r = .69, p < .001, indicating that maturity in love was being tapped

and this again provided evidence of convergent validity.

Extroversion (Eysenck & Eysenck, 1987) and the AMPL2(Total) had a very

small but significant correlation (r = .14, p < .05). Most of the measures included in

the questionnaire were conceptually related to the AMPL2, even if indirectly.

Extroversion was expected to be largely unrelated to the AMPL2 and the lack of

correlation with it indicates discriminant validity. The small correlation between

Sexual Openness and extroversion (r = .17, p< .01) is probably because sociability

(an aspect of extroversion) includes the capacity to communicate, which may

enhance a person's ability to conduct a sexual communicative relationship. The

pattern of correlations was non-significant except where a small correlation could be

expected, and this is in itself evidence of discriminant validity.

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Table 35 Correlations of AMPL2(Total) and Derived Factors with Existing Measures (N = 298) __________________________________________________________________ AMPL2 ________________________________________________ AA D SO T TE AMPL2T Eros PLS ____________________________________________________________________ BDLS B Love

.72**

.38**

.54**

.60**

.50**

.69**

.60**

.54**

D Love .44** .15* .36** .24** .27** .38** .32** .66** DAS .71** .37** .43** .57** .39** .62** .48** .47** EPI Extroversion .12 .10 .17** .11 .04 .14* .17** .18** Neuroticism -.04 -.19** -.07 -.10 -.07 -.13* -.08 .13* LAS Eros .62** .34** .51** .41** .48** .61** 1.00 .51** Ludus -.36** -.20** -.16** -.44** -.23** -.34** -.32** -.21** Mania .19** .06 .14* .01 .15* .16* .20** .53** Pragma -.16** -.02 -.07 -.14* -.08 -.13* -.07 .01 Storge .14* .15* .10 .21** .12 .16** -.12* .11 PLS .65** .28** .42** .35** .41** .55** .51** 1.00 SAI .44** .28** .43** .11 .43** .47** .35** .42** Well Being Autonomy

.10

.27**

.17**

.09

.22**

.23**

.19**

.04

Environmental Mastery

.24** .31** .24** .27** .13* .30** .22** .14*

Personal Growth

.13* .32** .17** .24** .21** .27** .13* -.01

Positive Relations With Others

.28** .25** .24** .39** .13* .31** .15* .11

Purpose in Life

.17** .25** .15* .30** .06 .21** .14* .04

Self Acceptance

.29** .40** .22** .35** .22** .36** .28** .08

WTS .21** .04 .08 .10 .11 .14* .18** .17** Marlowe Crowne .09 .15* .12* .14* .04 .14* .18** -.09 PANAS Positive Affect .28** .38** .20** .15* .24** .32** .27** .18** Negative Affect -.06 -.23** -.05 -.16** -.06 -.13* -.07 .11 Age -.11 .11 -.06 -.09 .13* .00 .03 -.20** Length of Relationship

-.11 .01 -.11 -.07 .03 -.06 .01 -.17**

____________________________________________________________________ NB. AA = Affection/Arousal, D = Differentiation, SO = Sexual Openness, T = Trust, TE = Transcendence, AMPL2T = AMPL2(Total) =Assessment of Mature Passionate Love study 2 total score, Woodward; Eros = Subscale of Love Attitude Scale (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1990), PLS = Passionate Love Scale (Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986), BDLS = B and D Love Scale, (Peterson, 1986); DAS = Satisfaction Subscale of the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (Spanier, 1976); EPI = Eysenck's Personality Inventory (Eysenck & Eysenck, 1987); LAS = Love Attitude Scale (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1990); SAI = Sexual Arousability Inventory, (Hoon & Chambless, 1998); Well Being Scale, (Ryff, 1989a), WTS = Willingness to Sacrifice (Van Lange et al., 1997); Marlowe Crowne = (Reynolds, 1982), PANAS = Positive and Negative Affect Scale (Watson et al., 1988). * p<.05, ** p <.01.

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The AMPL2 was also moderately correlated with the Satisfaction sub-scale

of the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (r = .62, p < .001). This is consistent with previous

findings that sexuality and passion tend to be important aspects of well being in

intimate relationships (Montgomery & Sorell, 1997). There was a small correlation

of the AMPL2 (r = .14, p < .05) and the Affection/Arousal factor (r = 21, p < .01)

with the Willingness to Sacrifice Scale (Van Lange et al., 1997). The capacity to be

generous by sacrificing for the sake of a partner was found to be adaptive and

indicative of commitment and such a finding provides evidence of convergent

validity.

There were modest correlations between the AMPL2(Total) and the factors of

the Well Being Scale (Ryff, 1989a, r = .23 - .36, p < .001). The Well Being factors

were related to personal maturity and well being - and their small relationship with

the AMPL2(Total) and its factors again provided evidence of convergent validity.

Also the Differentiation factor was negatively correlated with Negative Affect

(Watson et al., 1988) and Neuroticism (Eysenck & Eysenck, 1987; r = -.23, p<.001

and r = -.19, p< .01 respectively), both evidence that mature and positive

psychological dimensions were being measured. The factors of the AMPL2 were all

positively correlated with Positive Affect, particularly the Differentiation factor (r =

.38, p<.001). This suggests that some of the passion and positivity about the

relationship may be indistinguishable from generally feeling good, or that having a

mature passionate relationship produces a positive mood. Some relationship between

AMPL2 factors and Positive Affect is to be expected. However, the relationship is

not strong enough to undermine the value of the AMPL2 measure.

Interestingly, the Transcendence factor was not correlated with Attitudes to

Spirituality or its factors and a very small correlation (r = .18, p < .01) was found

between the Connectedness factor of the Spiritual Transcendence Scale and the

Transcendence factor of the AMPL2. Clearly, the Transcendence factor is largely

unrelated to overt spirituality. Sexual Openness had a weak negative correlation with

the Attitudes to Spirituality Scale as a whole (r = -.12, p < .05) as well as the Prayer

Fulfillment and Universality factors of the Spiritual Transcendence Scale (r = -.17, p

< .01; r = -.12, p < .05 respectively). This makes sense since religious doctrines are

prone to value modesty, piety, and chastity out of wedlock, principles which would

logically have a suppressing effect on open sexual communication. These

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correlations, taken together, provide evidence of convergent validity (DeVellis,

1991).

Incremental Validity

To explore the incremental validity of the AMPL2 and its factors, its

correlations with relevant measures were compared to other measures of love and

passionate love (see Table 35). The AMPL2 and its subscales demonstrated

evidence of greater maturity in loving than the PLS and Eros. Firstly, the

AMPL2(Total) and its factors had lower correlations with the Mania factor than

Eros. The PLS was also moderately correlated with Mania. Other research has

suggested that high Mania scores are indicative of a more immature style of loving

(Campbell et al., 2002; Montgomery & Sorell, 1997). This is also born out by the

negative relationship between both age and length of relationship with (a) the PLS,

(b) Mania, but not AMPL2 (Total). Secondly, the AMPL2(Total) is more strongly

correlated with B Love (Peterson, 1986) and the factors of the Well-being scale

which are purportedly related to maturity, than either Eros or the PLS were.

The PLS has only one significant correlation with the Well Being sub-scales

but Eros has a significant correlation with all the Well Being factors. The overall

correlation of the AMPL2(Total) and many of its factors with Well Being sub-scales

is much stronger than either the PLS and Eros. The Well Being sub-scales not only

represent maturity but also, as the name suggests, personal well-being.

The AMPL2(Total) was also a slightly stronger measure of sexual arousal

than either the PLS or Eros. The factors with sexual items (i.e. Affection/Arousal,

Sexual Openness and Transcendence) and the full AMPL2(Total) are all more highly

correlated with sexual arousal than the PLS and Eros.

The Transcendence factor appeared to be measuring feelings of sexual

oneness and mystical sex, yet showed evidence of being related to the passionate

love construct as a whole. This factor had a small to moderate correlation with Eros

(r = .48, p < .01) and a small correlation with the PLS (r = .41, p < .01). Further,

there was a moderate correlation of the Transcendence scale to B love and a small

correlation to the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (r = .50, p < .01 and r = .39, p < .01

respectively, see Table 35). Respondents reporting mystical peak experiences were

significantly more likely to endorse Transcendence than respondents who did not

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give a response (mean = 4.80, SD = 1.03 versus mean = 4.03, SD = 1.02 respectively,

F (7, 290) = 4.43, p < .001 using Scheffe post hoc tests, significance was < .05).

This provides evidence of construct validity since qualitative and quantitative

measures of mystical sex were significantly related to one another.

The Affection/Arousal factor was more strongly related to the following

measures than the other AMPL2 factors: B Love (r = .72), Eros (r = .62), PLS (r =

.65), Sexual Arousability Inventory (r = .44) and Dyadic Adjustment Scale (r = .71,

all significant at p< .01). The Affection/Arousal factor represented aspects of

passionate love that are traditionally an intrinsic aspect of the construct, although the

content is more overtly sexual than the PLS representation of passionate love.

Interestingly, Affection/ Arousal was the AMPL2 factor most strongly related to

Mania (r = .19) and D Love (r = .44, both significant at p< .01) and these measures

aim to represent the needy aspect of passionate love.

Interestingly, neither Differentiation nor Trust were significantly correlated to

Mania, although the other AMPL2 factors were. Also Differentiation and Trust had

the lowest correlation with D Love and Trust had the strongest negative correlation

with Ludus (which has been associated with Narcissism, Campbell et al., 2002).

Differentiation had the strongest negative correlation with Neuroticism (r = -.19) and

Negative Affect (r = -.23) and the strongest positive correlation with Positive Affect

(r = .38, all correlations significant at p< .01) compared with the other AMPL2

factors. Differentiation had the strongest AMPL2 correlations with the Well Being

Factors of Autonomy, Environmental Mastery, Personal Growth and Self

Acceptance, while Trust had the strongest AMPL2 correlations with Positive

Relations with Others and Purpose in Life. Hence Differentiation and Trust seem to

represent aspects of maturity that are complementary to one another.

These relationship are perhaps best represented diagramatically (see Figure

3). In this diagram it is not presumed that Affection/Arousal measures all of the

construct of sensuality, lust and affection, hence the measure is smaller than the

construct. The construct of sensuality, lust and affection overlaps with both needy

and deficient personal characteristics, and ones which represent personal and

relationship differentiation.

Interestingly, Affection/Arousal was strongly correlated with the Satisfaction

sub-scale of the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (r = .71) and much more strongly than

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Eros was (r = .48) and PLS (r = .47, for all p< .01). So, highly satisfied couples are

particularly prone to endorse affection/lust, sensuality and attraction.

The meaning of the Sexual Openness and Transcendence factors is not very

clear from observing their relationships with other measures. They are moderately

correlated with PLS and Eros, suggesting that they belong with the passionate love

construct and their inclusion can be justified theoretically (Schnarch, 1991, 1997). It

seems possible that these two factors represent sophisticated relationship behaviours.

A dependent or downtrodden character would not easily endorse the items of Sexual

Openness, in particular.

Figure 3. Representation of passionate love constructs and measures, with reference

to personal strength and personal deficiency

The AMPL2 measured facets of behaviour that were all significantly related

to existing passionate love measures. However, passionate love was not

operationalised as simply expressing longing, lust and attraction. Rather, these

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passionate AMPL2 contents were considered to be embedded within and inseparable

from other loving characteristics. Mature passionate love was conceptualised more

broadly than previous attempts to measure passionate love. Hence, the whole scale

certainly measured passionate love attitudes more comprehensively and was more

highly correlated to relationship adjustment and satisfaction.

Overall the AMPL2 demonstrated evidence of incremental validity. It was a

more comprehensive measure of passionate love than other existing measures. The

AMPL2 demonstrated improved measurement of sexual arousal, while exhibiting

evidence of greater maturity and less Manic type passionate love characteristics.

Social Desirability

The AMPL2(Total), the Sexual Openness factor, The Differentiation factor,

and the Trust factor had significant but only very small correlations (r = .14, r = .12,

r = .15 and r = .14, all at p < .05) with the Marlowe Crowne scale measuring social

desirability. This suggests that responses to the items of the AMPL2 reflected

mostly genuine relationship attitudes rather than attitudes which represent the

respondent favourably. This provides evidence of validity according to DeVellis

(1991).

Other Results

Sample Skew To explore the nature of the sample, a comparison of means on existing

passionate love measures was conducted. The means of the current sample were

compared to those reported by the authors (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986) on the Eros

factor of the Love Attitude Scales. For a student sample the mean Eros score on a

five point Likert-type scale was 2.3 per item compared with 4 in the current sample.

A more realistic comparison is with a married sample where the mean was

effectively 2.9 (Contreras et al., 1996). These figures demonstrate that in other

samples items attempting to measure passionate love have previously shown a much

more central mean. Hence, the AMPL2(Total) and its factors may possibly be less

skewed in other samples as well.

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Relationship of AMPL2 to Demographic Variables

The relationships between demographic variables and AMPL2 factors and

AMPL2(Total) were explored and significant values reported in Table 36 (except

when the relationship was likely to be due to the influence of another variable, which

was indicated by partial correlations). Older people were slightly more likely to have

transcendent sexual experiences (r = .13, p < .05) and so were respondents who had

older children (r = 27, p < .01). There was also a significant relationship between the

mean age of children and the AMPL2(Total) score (r = .24, p< .01),

Affection/Arousal (r = .17, p< .05) and Sexual Openness (r = .23, p< .01). The

relationships between Eros and the PLS and the mean age of children was also

significant (r = .23, p < .01 and r = .16, p < .05 respectively). A partial correlation

controlling the effect of age was undertaken and the relationship between

Transcendence and the mean age of children was virtually unaltered (r = .20, p < .01).

Otherwise the AMPL2(Total) and its factors were uncorrelated with age and length of

relationship.

Table 36 Correlations of AMPL2(Total) and Derived Factors with Demographic Variables (N = 298) ____________________________________________________________________ AA D SO TE T AMPL2T ____________________________________________________________________ Age -.11 .11 -.06 .13* -.09 .03 Education Level -.13* .02 -.14* -.01 -.02 -.08 Hours Worked per Week -.12* .04 -.13* -.02 -.07 -.07 Length of Relationship -.11 .01 -.11 .03 -.07 -.06 Mean Age of Children .17* .12 .23** .27** .04 .24** Occupation .11 -.02 .17** -.02 .05 .07 ____________________________________________________________________Note: * p<.05, ** p <.01. AA = Affection/Arousal, D = Differentiation, SO = Sexual Openness, TE = Transcendence, T = Trust., AMPL2T = AMPL2(Total). Occupation was categorised according to the Guidelines established by the Australian Bureau of Statistics (Department of Employment and Industrial Relations and Australian Bureau of Statistics, 1987). Lower categorisation in occupation generally indicated greater professionalism. Higher education level indicated greater number of years at school.

People who were less educated, had lower status jobs and who worked fewer

hours tended to be slightly more sexually open (r = .14, p < .05; r =.17, p < .01, r =

.13 p < .05 respectively). Together these factors suggest the influence of

socioeconomic status. Perhaps people who are less educated may be less cognitively

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focused and therefore able to be more sexually and emotionally expressive.

However, if well-educated people are working long hours they also may be too

exhausted at the end of the day to invest much in sexual communication.

A series of one Way ANOVAs with planned comparisons were performed on

variables with a small number of categories and factors of the AMPL2. Respondents

who were not living together, including both young and older lovers, were

significantly more likely to endorse Affection/Arousal than their married and de

facto counterparts (t (193) = - 4.22, p < .001 and t (205.69) = -2.14, p < .05

respectively). The respective means were not living together 5.31 (SD = .52),

married 4.88 (SD = .94) and de facto 5.11 (SD = .71). In a separate ANOVA married

people were found to be less Sexually Open than the respondents who were in a de

facto relationship (t (283) = -2.47, p < .05). The means of the two groups were

respectively 4.53 (SD = 1.08) and 4.88 (SD = .94). Relationship length and age may

have influenced these differences to some extent. A partial correlation, controlling

for length of relationship, yielded an increased correlation with age and

Transcendence r = .15, p< .05 and age and Differentiation became significantly

correlated r = .14, p< .05. Hence relationship length masks these associations to

some extent. Older people therefore tended to be more Differentiated and

experienced Transcendence more, when the length of the relationship was controlled

for.

Relationship of AMPL2 Factors to Measures of Spirituality

Differentiation was positively related to all three Spiritual Transcendence

scales (Piedmont, 1999) and personal and overall spirituality (Table 37). There was

also a significant negative relationship between Prayer Fulfillment and both

Affection/Arousal and Trust. There seems to be a mixed relationship between the

non-sexual aspects of passionate love, which includes maturity-related factors, and

spirituality.

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Table 37 Correlations of AMPL2 with Measures of Spirituality ____________________________________________________________________ Spirituality measure AA D SO T TE ____________________________________________________________________ STSa Connectedness .03 .20** -.04 .06 .18** Prayer Fulfillment -.14* .17** -.17** -.12* .09 Universality -.09 .17** -.12* -.05 .11 Spirituality Scaleb -.09 .12* -.12* -.05 .04 Personal -.09 .14* -.12 -.03 .04 Institutional -.08 .09 -.11 -.07 .06 ____________________________________________________________________ Note: * p < .05, **p< .01. AA = Affection/Arousal, D = Differentiation, SO = Sexual Openness, T = Trust, TE = Transcendence, a = Spiritual Transcendence Scale (Piedmont, 1999), b = by the author and a subsequent version of one is in (Woodward et al., 2001). No AMPL2(Total) correlations were given because none of them were significant.

The significant negative relationship between Sexual Openness and three

spirituality measures are logical, since religious practices tend to promote sexual

purity and virginity before marriage. Hence, overall spirituality is related in a

complex way to mature passionate love. Some of the sexually related factors are

negatively related and this makes sense, but Transcendence includes both spirituality

and sexuality and the fact that it only has one significant relationship with the six

spiritual measures is not surprising. The tendencies for positive and negative

correlations may cancel each other out. The negative correlation between Prayer

Fulfillment and Trust is only small and not easily explained.

Replication of Factors Between the Studies

The derived factor solutions between study one and study two had similarities

but also some important differences. The items representing Transcendence loaded

as an independent factor in both studies, as did the Sexual Openness items. Some of

the dimensions of the Affection Engagement factor (study one) were represented by

the Trust and Affection factors in study two. Also two of the items from the

Eroticism factor (study one) loaded on the Affection factor in study two. Rather than

the Differentiation factor loading diffusely and weakly across factors, it formed an

independent factor in study two. These differences could be explained at least in part

by the lack of power in the first study.

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Peak Experiences

Sexual and non-sexual peak experiences were investigated again in this

second study and a similar quality and incidence of mystical sex, as well as some

very tender descriptions of love, were reported. Also, the same peak experiences

categories were found in both study one and study two. The sample was slightly

different, since younger and more newly related lovers were included in the study

two sample. Hence the loss of virginity was among the vivid peak experiences

reported by the younger respondents. The breakdown of the experiences and a

couple of examples from each of these categories are given in Table 38. Answering

this question was optional in study two, but not described as optional in study one.

There was a fairly low rate of inter-rater reliability between the two raters -

the author and her first supervisor - 57.7%. There were many times when an

experience could easily be placed in more than one category, and the categories

themselves overlapped. Other experiences were difficult to categorise absolutely,

particularly the mystical experiences. The differences between the raters were

resolved by discussion. The raters agreed to be very rigorous before including a

response in the mystical category. It was fairly likely that more people's actual

experience could have been categorised as mystical, however because there was no

opportunity to clarify the meaning of the communication received, a conservative

estimate of the incidence of mystical experiences has therefore been given.

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Table 38 Peak Experience Categories with Examples ____________________________________________________________________ Categories N Examples ____________________________________________________________________ Mystical 35 * During sexual contact and intercourse we frequently both

experienced what we describe as a melding, as if we have both become one and lose the sense of having outer limits of our own bodies. We have also experienced times when we have both felt as if our souls have left our bodies and while our physical bodies make love so do our souls above us. * I am completely "transported" into a dimension of extraordinary peace, bliss, and lack of self. The term "la petite mort" becomes accurate in its description, but it is with joy. Specifically, on one such occasion I was "unable" to distinguish between my wife and the pillow adjacent to us both and I was astonished to find myself kissing my pillow.

Closeness 12 * After fighting and coming back to each other - feelings were

intensified- acknowledging a loss - or having emotions reinforced by the feelings of loss - we both felt when separated * After having intense personal dilemmas for the past few years, finally sorting things out a little a year ago, when I broke down and confided in my partner….., I felt intense love for him when he understood, that he loved me so much after what we had been through before…… that I felt we were meant to be together and knew we always would be.

Connection 15 * Feelings of deep connection with my partner, feelings that

we have been together before (maybe in a past life). Sometimes know what each other is thinking. * The first time we were intimate, no matter how imperfect life was at that time - nothing could affect the perfection of that moment. The first time I ever felt properly emotionally and spiritually connected to another person.

Emotional 24 * Sometimes I feel so happy about being loved that I feel that I State want to burst. I feel so amazingly complete.

* ……Something that just leaves me with a feeling of warmth and completeness. Hard to put into words.

Sexual 25 * During orgasm with my current partner, when climaxing Oneness together, after intense foreplay felt a sense of unity, ecstasy

and joy being united emotionally & physically as one. * Quite often during lovemaking I feel, not only physically connected to my partner but emotionally & mentally connected. Particularly, we often stop & simply gaze into each others eyes.

____________________________________________________________________ Table continued next page

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Table 38 Peak Experience Categories with Examples (Cont'd.) ____________________________________________________________________ Categories N Examples ____________________________________________________________________ Passion 28 * Intense release during sexual contact with my partner when

he has stimulated my "G spot" ( I call it my Goddess Spot) to the point of orgasm. It is like a waterfall from a grotto. It is archetypal. The embodiment of bliss. * The first night I slept with my partner it was magical, intense & for the first time I was completely at ease with myself, my body and all the fantastic sensations that went through me. My partner & I have been like that every day after.

No Details 14 * Too private - not describable * No because language is too limiting No Response 139

It is evident from the example responses given in Table 38 that the peak love

experiences were intensely precious and something for which people were

profoundly grateful. Many of the mystical experiences described extraordinary

sensual and clear spiritual episodes. These experiences were consistent with those

described in study one, Schnarch's (1991, 1997) description of wall socket sex and

Maslow's (1970) description of sexual peak experiences. Interestingly, while a

reasonable percentage of respondents in both studies described these mystical peak

sexual experiences, almost no reference to them has been made in the psychological

literature. Further, the incidence of such experiences in the general population is

unknown, a fact that the current research was unfortunately unable to redress.

Significant group differences were found when age was the dependent

variable and categories of peak experiences was the independent variable (F (7, 286)

= 6.24, p < .001) in One way ANOVA. Post hoc Scheffe analysis (at the .05

significance level) showed that the people who reported mystical experiences tended

to be older (M = 46.08, SD = 10.83) than those who gave no answer (M = 34.34, SD

= 14.22) and people who reported passionate experiences also tended to be older (M

= 47.15, SD = 15.80) than those who gave no answer (M = 34.34, SD = 14.22).

Interestingly, although there were some mystical sexual experiences reported among

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the young and newly related in the current research, Schnarch (1991, 1997)

suggested that age increases the likelihood of this experience. The current research

lends support to this notion. Research by Maslow's biographer on peak experiences

among children suggested that the capacity for mystical experiences exists in the

young, perhaps being a basic human faculty (Hoffman, 1998). However, sex may

possibly be a more accessible vehicle for mysticism among mature and highly

developed people. More research would be necessary to establish this with any

degree of certainty.

A One Way ANOVA was undertaken to explore whether spiritual measures

were significantly related to peak experiences. Two between group differences were

significant - Universality F(7, 280) = 3.24, p< .01 and Prayer Fulfillment F(7, 278) =

2.63, p< .05. Post hoc Scheffe tests at the .05 level revealed that respondents

reporting mystical experiences were significantly more likely than respondents who

did not report a peak experience to endorse Universality (M = 43.74, SD = 8.98 and

M = 38.29, SD = 10.50 respectively) and Prayer Fulfillment (M = 35.15, SD = 9.70

and M = 28.84, SD = 11.43 respectively). These findings are logical, because the

experiences themselves were sometimes described in spiritual terms.

Correspondence

During the process of data gathering and collating, there were a number of

opportunities for extra correspondence between the respondents and the author. This

occurred prior to and after respondents filled in the questionnaire. The

correspondence involved describing a respondent's relationship, circumstances or

their opinions about love, sex or what makes relationships in general, or theirs in

particular, resilient. There were also comments made about the media material that

they were exposed to, for example a radio show or a newspaper article. In the

process of asking to participate in the research, because the nature of the research

was not clear to participants prior to receiving the questionnaire, they would often

give pithy opinions and anecdotes. Feedback was given about the content of the

questionnaire and to explain and qualify their ratings.

This correspondence data has been collapsed for both studies, to present it

most meaningfully. Some consistent themes emerged from the data. Some

respondents were glad to be involved with the research and to hear positive news

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about loving and passionate marriages. For example: "It's like a breath of fresh air

for someone to focus on marriages that work, on long term, fulfilling marriages as

opposed to the constant barrage of reports and statistics on divorce". Also people

commented that they found doing the questionnaire a positive experience. "The

questionaire (sic) has been very interesting and maybe I have learned something

about our relationship". Consistent with this was a sense of loss that such

exquisitely beautiful experiences had to be kept so private. "I realize that I am in a

very special place and, apart from my wife, I have no one else to share and rejoice in

it with and no way of contributing to the general wellbeing of humanity through my

experiences".

Tips on making marriages and long term relationships work were given. The

need to work through difficulties and crises was considered important: "Our time

together has not been easy & we fight like everyone else, but after all the yelling &

name calling is over & done with, we talk about it & ask why it escalated the way it

did". Another tip given several times was the importance of nourishing the

relationship. One example was: "Marriage is like a fire if it goes dull it needs

kindling and new life put into it. The secret of a good marriage is to be friends and

to be able to fall in love (with the same person) over and over again".

Expressions of intense gratefulness for and gladness about the relationship,

some of which had begun when respondents were teenagers, were expressed many

times. A woman who had been married over 30 years wrote: "We are still very much

in love, and can't get enough time to be with each other. We are still romantic, still

tender towards each other, and expect that it can only get better".

Another theme revolved around the joys, intimacy and passion of a

subsequent relationship. "I love this man like no other and I have had many

relationships in the past but none to compare to what I am experiencing now. This

relationship has given me life and a future of hope and happiness and exploration. I

have experienced aspects of myself that I never thought possible - I am fully alive,

passionate and I am now sensitive to the beauty in the world and not living in fear". Sometimes these relationships compared favourably to previous ones. One widower

also commented that: "the second relationship is easier because most of the mistakes

have already been made".

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Some respondents objected to the emphasis on sex in the questionnaire, or

felt it was over-emphasised. One person commented on "The strong sexual bias in

this questionnaire" and suggested "A sexual experience is a using or taking activity,

love making is a giving situation". Others commented that sex was less important

than the emotional, caring aspects of relationships. Some of the comments had a

defensive tone to them, perhaps indicating that the content of the research was

threatening to them.

A couple of respondents noted they were less passionate than when they were

younger. Others felt that their sexual experiences far outshone those of their friends.

There were many respondents who discussed the continued pleasure they received

from the sexual relationship. "As the children have grown more self-sufficient, this

has also allowed us to resume our love life and I must say our sexuality has become

a very pleasant part of our middle years together". Many respondents commented

that sex was improving over the decades. A man in his 60s, married for over 25

years wrote: "our sex life has never been better, keeping in mind that it has always

been wonderful for us from the start. But at this age we even do experiment and find

new and exciting ways to enjoy our love life". There was a mention of the value of

having time to devote to sex. "The passion is still there - but no less special because

frequent & frantic is not the aim of the game - as it was in the early days". There

was a sense of naughty pleasure with respondents commenting that their children

presumed they were asexual while they were, in fact, having fabulous sex. One

woman wrote about her wonderful 20-year old relationship with her husband which

was enhanced by effort and consideration of sexual differences. She wrote: "We

have a sense of playfulness, and I have helped him get more relaxed with his body as

I am an earthy person, and love to get down and grubby. We vary things and that

helps a lot - places, times".

Finally, some respondents wrote expressing awe at how sex continues to

unfold more intense layers of spiritual ecstasy. "Our experience continually

highlights the fact that whenever 'the best ever' experiences are achieved, yet another

higher plane is awaiting us. This has been our continuing experience over the past

40 years. When we think of it, nature would indeed be at fault if a firm boundary had

been fixed. So our understanding of a boundary less sexual-spiritual environment

opens the door for all that we now know is possible". After an intense spiritual

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experience another man wrote: "I am convinced that the integration of the spiritual

& the sexual, the religious & the psychological realms is not only possible, but one

of (if not the) great goals of human existence".

In sum, the correspondence data expressed how the respondents cherished

their love relationship, whether it was a long term or a subsequent relationship.

There was a sense of gladness that the value of long term love and sex among older

people was being discussed. There were certainly some solid relationships that were

described passionately, yet sex for whom was not a pre-eminent focus. Many

respondents described wonderful, sexually - passionate relationships. Sometimes the

sex improved with age, having more time and increased opportunity as children got

older. Some respondents described profoundly spiritual peak experiences that had

deeply affected the quality of their long-term relationship. All these experiences are

consistent with and enriching of the other findings in the current research because of

the personal descriptions involved.

Social Desirability and Idealisation

The findings relevant to the passionate love items that attempted to measure

social desirability warrant further discussion. The items themselves and the pattern

of correlations with other variables suggest that the construct represents relationship

idealisation and perhaps some relationship social desirability. Positive partner

illusions have been shown to be adaptive in a number of studies (Martz et al., 1998;

Murray & Holmes, 1997; Murray et al., 1996). The positive relationship between

passionate love Social Desirability and other adaptive relationship characteristics is

therefore not surprising.

A significant gender difference was found (t(284) = -3.19, p <.01) with the

respective means for men and women being 18.30 (SD = 5.24) and 16.19 (SD =

5.07). This suggests that men are more prone to idealisation in love than women and

this is consistent with other research (Cancian, 1987; Engel et al., 2002). There was

no significant gender difference in the endorsement of Marlowe Crowne social

desirability - indicating that the gender difference found refers only to the idealising

aspect of the measure.

Interestingly, there was a moderately strong correlation for men between the

Dyadic adjustment Scale and the Social Desirability measure r = .68, p <.001,

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whereas for women the correlation was .50 p < .001. This means that the capacity to

idealise was found to be a particularly important element for men's satisfaction in a

relationship. Engel et al. (2002) found idealism was a significant predictor of love

for men and not for women in a sample of 126 young university students. Sprecher

and Regan (1998) found that men reported a higher incidence of positive emotion

and less negative emotion, the more they loved, relative to women. Cancian (1987)

also noted evidence of men's increased tendency to idealise and suggested that it may

arise from more magical and romantic thinking about love where love is regarded as

perfectly present or absent. Women, she suggested, may assume that love varies and

depends on their own efforts.

The social desirability/idealisaton items were indeed significantly correlated

to the Marlowe Crowne (Reynolds, 1982) measure of social desirability (r = .32, p <

.001). However, the passionate love social desirability scale was more highly

correlated to the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (r = .54, p < .001) than the Marlowe

Crowne Scale.

One other interesting aside was that women's endorsement of the Love

Attitude Scale Mania factor was negatively correlated with the Marlowe Crowne

Scale (r = -.20**, p < .01) and the relationship was non significant for men. Also for

men, the Marlowe Crowne was positively correlated with Eros (r = .27, p < .05) and

Agape (r= .27, p < .05), and Ludus (another Love Attitude Scale Factor) was

negatively correlated with it (r = - .30, p <.01) whereas for women these correlations

were non significant. These findings basically contradict those of another study by

Davies (2001, N = 122) where Agape was considered socially desirable for women

and undesirable for men. Also, Ludus was considered socially desirable for men and

not women in the Davies study. These differences perhaps reflect differences in

research methodologies, the mean age or maturity of the sample, or cultural

differences between America and Australia. Alternatively, they may represent the

infiltration of changing mores about love, where men consider it appropriate to be

more selfless (Agapic) and passionate (Erotic), and less game playing (Ludic),

whereas women are beginning to regard emotional lability and extremes of

dependency (Mania) as anything but healthy. This may be evidence of a move

toward more healthy androgynous love styles that Cancian (1987) suggested was

taking place.

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Maturity of Love

The relationship between the Mania factor and the PLS with maturity was

investigated. A partial correlation was performed between the PLS and age,

controlling for Mania. The relationship became non-significant, the same happened

with length of relationship. Previously there was a negative relationship between age

and the PLS of -.20, p < .01, and length of relationship and the PLS of -.17, p < .01.

Also, both Mania and the PLS were related to neuroticism (Eysenck & Eysenck,

1987, r = .38, p < .001 and r = .13, p < .05 respectively). When Mania was partialled

out the relationship between the PLS and neuroticism became non-significant. These

simple partial correlations clarify why passionate love has been found to decrease

with time and be correlated with adaptive characteristics in some studies and not

others. Mania appears to be the unhealthy aspect of passionate love that decreases

with time, yet in this study the other aspects of passionate love did not decrease with

time. Mania was prone to diminish with age (r = - .35, p < .001) and length of

relationship (r = - .27, p < .001) in the current research.

Conclusion

This second study in the current research successfully reduced 62 items to a

31 item version of the AMPL2 using factor analysis in conjunction with conceptual

and empirical parameters. The five-factor solution included: Trust,

Affection/Arousal, Sexual Openness, Transcendence and Differentiation. The

measure produced demonstrated mostly satisfactory mean inter-item correlations,

reliability, and very satisfactory alpha and test retest reliability. Inspection of the

correlations indicated convergent and discriminant validity as well as construct

validity. The AMPL2 was moderately correlated with measures to which it should

be and had little correlation with an unrelated measure. Construct validity was also

indicated by the clear factor loadings, intercorrelations among the items and more

than adequate indices of sample size. AMPL2's low correlation with social

desirability also provided evidence of construct validity.

There are indications that these first steps in scale development have

produced a relatively sound measure. However, there are some significant concerns

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about the derived solution. Firstly, the items produced were extremely skewed,

which diminishes their utility and the breadth of the derived measure. Secondly, the

sample itself produced considerable skew on other related measures as well,

indicating that the results of the second sample may not be easily generalisable.

Thirdly, a direct correspondence between the derived factor solution in study one and

that derived in study two was not found, although there was a great deal of similarity,

indicating a lack of power or factorial instability or both. Fourthly, the chi square

value did not indicate a well fitting model.

The correlations of the AMPL2 with other measures suggest that the AMPL2

provided a more comprehensive measure of mature passionate love than previous

measures, and thus showed evidence of incremental validity. It was strongly

correlated with relationship adjustment, yet with only a small degree of the manic

qualities that sometimes characterise the infatuation stage of love that Hatfield and

Sprecher (1986) sought to measure in their Passionate Love Scale. It was also not

negatively correlated with age as are the Passionate Love Scale and the Mania sub-

scale of the Love Attitude Scale. While it had some similarities with the Eros factor

of the Love Attitude Scale, it had a stronger sexual flavour and was more highly

correlated with the Well Being factors. It also included a factor measuring

transcendence which includes items about sexual peak experiences and feelings of

sexual oneness, experiences that have rarely been discussed in research.

The AMPL2 and the research related to it had a number of positive features.

The scale examined mature passionate love in a more complex way than previous

measures. The sense of lust and affection represented in Eros and the PLS were also

present in the Affection/Arousal factor. The sexual features of the measure were

described more comprehensively than Eros since transcendence and sexual

communication were included (not just intense, satisfying sex). The non-sexual

features of mature passionate love were also part of the AMPL2. Integrating these

seems to represent the sexual and non-sexual aspects of passionate love in a more

consistent way with the attitudes of lovers themselves (study one and Johnson et al.,

1994). The Trust and Differentiation factors represented both maturity of self, and

self in the context of relationships. The correlation of these factors with other

AMPL2 factors personal, relationship and love measures, again provides evidence

that including personal strength enhances the capacity to love as Fromm and

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Schnarch suggested. Healthy, mature passionate love is more clearly explicated.

The strengths and weaknesses of the current research are discussed in more detail in

the next chapter.

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CHAPTER EIGHT

General Discussion

The preceding chapters have presented the theoretical and empirical

underpinnings of the current study and the outcome of the research that has been

undertaken. This section of the thesis examines what has been produced, how it was

produced and how sound and useful it is. The process begins with a brief

examination of the need for and importance of this research.

Rationale for the Study

Insufficiencies of Scales Developed So Far

The empirical examination of passionate love has largely focused on the

experience of young adults, especially young, white, middle class university

students. The work of Hatfield and her colleagues (Hatfield, 1988; Hatfield &

Rapson, 1998; Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986) has been particularly important in this

area, producing a measure of passionate love. The difficulty with this work is that it

is focused on the experience of the young and also that it tends to be asexual. Within

this framework, as relationships mature passionate love is largely replaced by

companionate love, a quieter, more friendship-based love. Such a framework has

been challenged by some of the few existing studies of passionate love in long term

relationships (e.g. Contreras et al., 1996; Montgomery & Sorell, 1997; Willi, 1997)

and by research on sexuality (Johnson et al., 1994; Waite & Joyner, 2001).

The other important measure of passionate love is the Eros factor of Hendrick

and Hendrick's (1990) Love Attitude Scale. This scale is short, limited in scope, and

not all the content seems central to passionate love, or mature passionate love,

although its use is reasonably widespread in love research.

Lack of Empirical Work on Longer Term Love

The presence of a passionate affectionate bond has been found to be central to

the maintenance of a relationship (Willi, 1997) and a strong predictor of relationship

satisfaction (Contreras et al., 1996). These preliminary studies suggest the

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importance of passionate love in long-term relationships, yet there is very little

research in this area. To understand the place of passionate love in longer-term

relationships there is a need to understand the content of the construct of mature

passionate love and to develop more complex instruments for its measurement.

Scales measuring passionate love in long-term relationships may contribute to

understanding relationship resilience, and positive and adaptive relationship

functioning.

Love and Passionate Love Theory

The search for a conceptual basis for scale development has found no single

work sufficiently complex or comprehensive. The psychoanalytic authors suggested

the importance of the conflict between the sexual impulses and the social demands of

society (e.g. Freud, 1977). Jung (1961/1983) argued that highly developed

individuals are capable of balancing and integrating the animal and spiritual aspects

of themselves. The humanist Abraham Maslow investigated the functioning of

highly developed people to explore the possibilities of human experience and

growth. Specifically, he examined the notions of mature loving (called B-love), self-

actualisation and peak experiences (Maslow, 1970).

The Theories of Fromm and Schnarch

The work of the neo-Freudian Erich Fromm provides a more comprehensive

understanding of the possibilities of mature passionate love. Fromm (1962)

suggested that mature loving is an act of great courage that requires faith and will

and is a lifetime's work. He said it is very different from infatuation because it is

based on real knowledge of the beloved and the capacity for brotherly and self-love.

Mature passionate love requires growing past infantile patterns of relatedness to

achieve a more independent, mature personal functioning. Fromm regretted that

capitalism undermined an appropriate framework for the development of a mature

love. His work was a valuable advance on previous theories but it did not include a

comprehensive discussion of the place of sexuality in long term love (Fromm, 1962).

David Schnarch developed a framework which was consistent with and

complementary to Fromm's work. While it lacked a clear conception about the place

of love in long-term relationships, it had the advantage of both a sexual and applied

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flavour. Schnarch suggested that long term relationships themselves provide

dilemmas that make people become more differentiated, by which he meant able to

negotiate their needs for separateness and togetherness. He argued that people's

capacity for emotional connection is expressed through their typical sexual

behaviours. Furthermore, if people develop the courage to work through their

dilemmas they can establish a heightened connection which makes a mystical sexual

experience (or wall socket sex as he called it) possible. Hence, Schnarch (1991,

1997, 2002) suggested that emotional and sexual growth are deeply entwined, a

theory that provides a sound basis for investigating mature passionate love.

The Research Process

Preliminary Work

The theories of Schnarch and Fromm were used to develop ideas about the

broad content of mature passionate love. The author attempted to represent their

theoretical ideas in the form of written items. Then a pilot study, in a questionnaire

format, was presented to friends, neighbours and a marketing expert. Experts in the

psychology of relationships were asked to comment on the content and form of

potential items. Feedback was again integrated and refinements made.

Study One

A 153 item questionnaire was administered to 187 respondents who were at

least 27 years old and in a relationship of at least seven years who were recruited

through snowball data collection and media articles and programs that included

requests for research participation. This study used qualitative and quantitative

methods to clarify the nature of the construct and to gather information on the

possibility of peak experiences in love and sex. There were seven hypothesised

domains which were: affection, differentiation, engagement, enthusiasm, eroticism,

openness/trust and transcendence. Each domain was factor analysed separately and

satisfactory, reliable and homogenous solutions were obtained. In the second phase

of factor analysis these initial solutions were pooled and three rather than seven

domains provided the best solution for the data. The three factors produced were:

Affectionate Engagement, Transcendence and Eroticism. These factors were reliable

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and factored relatively cleanly, although the items relating to the concept of

differentiation produced factor loadings that were low, mostly non-significant and

loaded across the three factors. The three factors were formed into sub-scales of a

mature passionate love measure, the AMPL1.

Study Two

This study began with 62 items (including all the AMPL1 items) which were

reduced to a 31 item AMPL2 measure (including a filter item), using both factor

analysis and conceptual and empirical considerations. The items and factors had a

strong negative skew and different factor solutions were tried to balance the need for

statistical rigour and a meaningful solution. The five factors of Affection/Arousal,

Trust, Sexual Openness, Differentiation, and Transcendence provided the best factor

solution. The contents of these AMPL2 factors were more discrete and consistent

than the three latent dimensions derived in study one. Sexual Openness and

Transcendence were very similar to the factors derived in study one, however Sexual

Openness was more specific than the Eroticism factor. Arousal and sensuality items

loaded with affection, whereas in study one they had loaded with the Eroticism

factor, yet their loading together in study two makes conceptual sense. Trust items

had previously loaded with affection and other items and Differentiation items had

previously loaded weakly, diffusely or cross-loaded. Having more factors is closer

to the hypothesised content of mature passionate love and represents a more complex

and hopefully more exact description of the construct. This is possibly because there

was more statistical power in study two.

These factors and a composite AMPL2(Total) factor were compared to other

existing scales and inferences drawn. Qualitative data on peak experiences revealed

six meaningful categories which were: mysticism, closeness, connection, emotional

state, sexual oneness and passion. These were the same categories as derived in

study one.

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Quantitative Findings

Reliability

In the first study the scales were highly reliable, although this was to be

expected since the scales were long and included redundant items. In the second

study the data were assessed for internal, mean inter-item, and temporal stability. All

dimensions were either satisfactory or extremely good. The internal consistency was

good to excellent, with no scores indicating significant item redundancy but the

reliability of the Differentiation factor was rather low for a research measure. The

mean inter-item reliability indicated that the Transcendence/Arousal and Sexual

Openness factors had a tendency to be somewhat homogenous but not excessively

so. The temporal stability was sound to very sound.

Validity

Construct validity. In study one, a single item asking respondents how they

rated their level of passion in their relationship, was highly correlated with the

derived measure of mature passionate love. This provided evidence of face validity

and therefore construct validity, since the scale was measuring what it purported to

measure.

The very small correlation between the Marlowe Crowne social desirability

measure and the AMPL2(Total) and its factors also provided evidence of construct

validity. In study two a five-factor solution was produced with reliable and largely

independent factors. These factors corresponded broadly with the hypothesised

dimensions and the qualitative data, and so represented the content of mature

passionate love adequately.

The AMPL2(Total) and its factors were moderately correlated with Eros and

the Passionate Love Scale (PLS) and had a weak to moderate correlation with a

range of other individual and relationship measures. This provided evidence of

convergent validity. The AMPL2(Total) and its factors were also only marginally

correlated with extroversion, to which they were largely conceptually unrelated.

This provided evidence of discriminant validity. Construct validity can only be

inferred as a result of repeated testing on a range of samples according to Clark and

Watson (1995), hence this research represents only an initial step in this process.

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Incremental validity. The content of the AMPL2 was broader than previous

constructs measuring passionate love, since it included non-sexual factors, measures

of maturity, as well as a measure of transcendent sexual qualities. The evidence

suggests the AMPL2 is more strongly associated with relationship satisfaction,

personal maturity and well being than the PLS or Eros. It is not sufficient to be "in

love", and satisfied, it is important to be able to negotiate the loving relationship with

personal strength, self- respect and respect for the beloved. It is also healthier if

loving is not based too much on personal emptiness or a longing to be filled up by

another. The pattern of correlations with other measures suggests the AMPL2 was

more associated with personal strength and less associated with extreme neediness,

than either the PLS or Eros.

The PLS may possibly have more items to describe attraction and arousal.

Yet the Affection/Arousal factor, which is the factor most strongly correlated with

the PLS, is much more strongly correlated with relationship satisfaction than the

PLS. So both relationship and personal satisfaction are more strongly represented in

the AMPL2 measure than in the PLS and Eros, yet the representation of attraction

and lust is maintained.

The content of the AMPL2 also covered sexual needs, sexual longing and the

capacity for open sexual communication much more comprehensively than the PLS

and Eros. The PLS did not explicitly mention sex and Eros only included one sexual

item. The AMPL2 had a stronger relationship with sexual arousal than either the

PLS or Eros and that is not surprising.

Respondents who reported mystical sexual experiences in both studies were

significantly more likely to highly endorse Transcendent or Transcendent/Arousal

items than those who did not report peak experiences at all. Older respondents and

those with older children were more likely to endorse Transcendence. These

findings and the moderate correlations of Transcendence with Eros suggest that an

important new dimension of passionate love may have been described, one which

may be slightly more accessible to longer-term and older lovers.

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Qualitative Findings

Folk Definitions of Mature Passionate Love

The qualitative feedback to the "what is mature passionate love?" in study

one suggests that the hypothesised domains were indeed consistent with folk theories

of love. The qualitative responses could be roughly grouped into the seven

hypothesised domains. The most highly endorsed characteristic of mature passionate

love was trust and this is consistent with the findings of Lamm and Wiesmann

(1997). There was a strong qualitative emphasis on commitment, communication

and openness but very little emphasis on spiritual experiences and spiritual bonds

between the couple. However, spirituality was strongly represented among the peak

experiences, a finding which is consistent with Schnarch's (1991, 1997)

conceptualisation of passionate relationships and with the hypotheses of the current

study.

The other divergence between the hypothesised domains of passionate love

and the qualitative answers was in the realm of humour and playfulness. Qualitative

findings regarding the importance of humour in long term relationships is consistent

with qualitative research by Ryff (1989b). Her respondents considered humour and

enjoying life were important parts of positive functioning. She noted that empirical

and theoretical research tended not to make such an emphasis. The psychological

literature on humour however suggests that it can be used both constructively and in

a derogatory way (Alberts, 1990). Other studies have indicated the importance of

humour for relationship functioning (Buss et al., 2000; Grote & Frieze, 1994;

Hampes, 1992; Ziv & Gadish, 1989). The absence of humour in the AMPL2 may

diminish its ability to measure closeness for some couples. It might be worth

considering including a measure of humour in future versions of the scale.

Peak Experiences

The themes that emerged from the qualitative descriptions of peak

experiences were : mysticism, closeness, connection, emotional state, sexual oneness

and passion. The peak experiences expressed tenderness, positivity and profound

gratefulness for respondents' relationships, their partner, and their love. Interestingly

approximately half of the peak experiences had a sexual element to them in both

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studies. Certainly there was a suggestion of a possible sexual element in the question

itself (have you ever had a peak experience in a love relationship, for example: an

experience of profound oneness, incredibly intense joy during sexual contact or

arising from loving your partner?). Also, some of the media articles and radio shows

emphasised the importance of sexuality in long term relationships (see Appendix C

and I). Nevertheless, the findings indicate that sex may provide an important and

particularly memorable mode of expressing or experiencing oneness, completeness,

profound happiness and tenderness for and with the beloved. This is certainly logical

and consistent with the peak experiences. That sex builds closeness and affection

was indicated by the research, but how this happens is not necessarily clear and

might be a useful subject of future research.

The mystical experiences were described in terms that were consistent with

previous studies on peak experiences (Breed & Fagan, 1972; Davis et al., 1991;

Douglas-Smith, 1971; Ebersole, 1972; Hoffman, 1998; Kokoszka, 1992-1993;

Mathes et al., 1982; Polyson, 1985; Stewart, 1976; Wilson & Spencer, 1990; Yeagle

et al., 1989). Further, they were consistent with the mystical sexual experiences

described by Macknee (1998), Schnarch (1991, 1997) and Sovatsky (1985).

The importance of non-sexual experiences was certainly expressed by the

respondents. The importance of trust, special events, caring, and sharing the birth of

children were among the important experiences named. These responses are a vivid

testimony to the joys of long term relationships, marriage and sometimes new and

fresh ones (described by some young and newly attached study two respondents).

Peak experiences were certainly difficult for even very articulate people to

describe adequately. The inability to put into words the profundity of this type of

experience was a common response among peak experience respondents. So it is

hard to be exact about the proportion of people who had clear mystical experiences.

Yet, the findings indicate that those who were able and willing to describe their peak

experiences showed significant differences from those who were reluctant to do so

on a number of passionate love and age related dimensions. This finding is

consistent with those of Catania, Gibson, Chitwood, and Coates (1990).

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Spirituality, Religion and Sexuality

There were small significant negative correlations between Sexual Openness

and Affection/Arousal and spirituality measures. Both these AMPL2 measures had

sexual items and this is consistent with the notion that religiosity has a suppressing

effect on sexual expression (e.g. Runkel, 1998).

It was hypothesised that Transcendence, in particular, would possibly be

related to measures of spirituality or religiosity. Transcendence was significantly

(and positively) correlated only with Connectedness (Piedmont, 1999). The

Transcendence items include a sexual element, but the content is about profound

experiences of oneness and being moved by sex - experiences that are somewhat

numinous. The sexuality in the items may diminish the relationship with religiosity

or spirituality. Respondents who reported mystical sex were significantly higher on

Prayer Fulfillment and Universality (Piedmont, 1999) than respondents who did not

report a peak experience.

To understand how respondents interpreted their intense, sensory altered

sexual experiences, the qualitative data on peak experiences may be relevant. The

raw and wondrous sexual experience did not appear to fit into religious or spiritual

frameworks for some respondents, who described their experience as good, moving

sex. For others, the sense of God or spirit within the peak sexual experiences was

evident. It is possible that similar experiences were interpreted differently,

depending on how spiritual or religious the person's framework was. It is similar to

powerful forces of change being seen by some as the hand of God at work and by

others as luck. Interestingly, Giblin (1996) described bodily feelings that related to

personal growth as essentially spiritual, even those not perceived as relating to a

transcendental power. Yet, whatever the interpretation of the experience,

Transcendent sex appears to be an important and overlooked dimension of passionate

love. It was highly valued and meaningful for respondents who described it in their

peak experiences. How effectively the Transcendence factor captures the experience

or even layers of the experience is yet to be established, though there is some

evidence of a statistically significant connection.

There was a positive relationship between the spirituality measures and

Differentiation. Spiritual contentment could possibly be a source of growth, strength

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and Differentiation. Alternatively an intervening variable could be mediating the

relationship.

Integration of Qualitative and Quantitative Findings

Overall, the qualitative and quantitative findings support the hypothesised

dimensions of mature passionate love- affection, differentiation, engagement,

enthusiasm, eroticism, openness/trust and transcendence. The qualities described in

these dimensions were endorsed to some extent in both studies quantitatively. With

the exception of the Differentiation factor, the dimensions were highly correlated

with one another, suggesting they may all be part of the same construct.

There was a positive relationship between the Transcendence factors and

peak mystical experiences in both studies. This was an important finding since the

exact nature of Transcendence needs to be explored and understood. There was also

a small significant relationship between Transcendence and a spirituality measure

and between mystical experiences and measures of spirituality. Both the qualitative

and the quantitative findings in study two suggest that Transcendence and mystical

experiences are more likely to be reported or highly endorsed by older people. This

provides support for Schnarch's (1991, 1997) idea that older people are more likely

to experience wall socket sex.

Other findings relevant to age and experience were that study one

respondents who described an experience that changed them were slightly more

likely to endorse Affectionate Engagement. In both studies, participants with older

children were significantly more likely to endorse Transcendence. In study two,

there was a significant relationship between mean age of children and Sexual

Openness, Affection/Arousal and the AMPL2(Total). A possible explanation for the

correlation between age of children and Transcendence is that when children get

older parents have less interrupted bedroom time and sleep and can become more

focused on the relationship - an explanation offered during correspondence with a

respondent. Perhaps couple members also have grown through having and raising

their children and can thus tolerate the intense closeness that comes with profoundly

meaningful sexual interactions. Also, when children are older and leave home

research has shown that relationship satisfaction tends to increase (Feeney, Peterson,

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& Noller, 1994). During the transition to parenthood Belsky, Lang, and Rovine

(1985) found in a longitudinal assessment of 67 couples that romance and overall

love decreased. The relationship became more friendship and instrumentally

focused. Call et al., (1995) found that sexual frequency increased with remarriage.

The findings of the current study and related research suggest that among some

couple members there may be a decrement in passion when young children are born

and sex may become less frequent with habituation. However, to counter this, new

relationships may be more sexually focused and people in relationships where

children are growing up may find a renewal of passionate love. Hence there may be

an averaging effect, with different trends cancelling each other out. More research

would need to be undertaken to test this hypothesis. Trends in sexual frequency,

feelings of both sexual and non-sexual passionate love in relation to relationship

stage, family structure and age of children also need to be clarified by future

research.

Education was negatively correlated with Eroticism, self-assessed passion

(study one) and Sexual Openness (study two). Those who worked longer hours were

also less inclined to endorse Transcendence (study one) and Affection/Arousal and

Sexual Openness (study two). There may be less time for sex with longer hours and

education may mean people have a stronger cognitive, rather than emotional or

sensual focus. Taken together these findings support the notion that eroticism and

transcendent mystical experience may be enhanced by age, experience and having

sufficient time, and may be somewhat blocked by being educated.

Findings Relevant to Schnarch and Fromm's Theories

Whether the theories of Fromm (1962) and Schnarch (1991, 1997, 2002)

were supported by the current findings needs to be explicated. Taken together there

was evidence of mature passionate love, even with profound spiritual dimensions,

among respondents. There was a sense of the relationships being precious,

respectful, satisfying and generous - these qualities were evident in the qualitative

data on the characteristics of mature passionate love and the peak experiences.

Fromm had suggested an unhealthy interpersonal environment is fostered by

capitalism, yet in the current research, there was evidence of generous and mature

love, despite the capitalism of this society. Growth through experience was evident

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in the e-mail and phone correspondence with respondents, the qualitative and

quantitative findings. There also was some reference to working through difficulties

in the correspondence as well as the qualitative findings about the characteristics of

mature passionate love and this is consistent with previous research (Esmond,

Dickinson, & Moffatt, 1998; Gottman, 1998) and Fromm (1962) and Schnarch

(1991, 1997). The valuing of independence and separateness of the beloved was

endorsed by both Fromm and Schnarch, and evidenced through the qualitative and

quantitative data. Trust and Differentiation factors were positively correlated with

other passionate love factors and independence and the valuing of strength was

endorsed among the important characteristics of mature passionate love. Also, there

was a trend to more androgynous, respectful love norms in both genders with it being

not generally socially desirable for women to endorse Mania and men to endorse

Ludus, but socially desirable for men to endorse Eros and Agape (measures from

Hendrick & Hendrick, 1990, Love Attitude Scale). These finding were counter to

previous research (Davies, 2001).

Passion did not diminish with age or length of relationship, although the

correspondence suggested both decrements and increments in passion over time.

Long term passionate love was richly connected with non-sexual relationship

dimensions and highly correlated with them. Non-sexual love dimensions were

much more highly endorsed as being important characteristics of mature passionate

love than sexual ones. However, sexual peak experiences were mentioned about half

the time in both studies, suggesting that sex is an important means of expressing and

experiencing passionate love. It seems sex tends to not be valued independently, but

as part of the memorable, special and intimate times in passionately loving another.

These findings were consistent with Schnarch (1991, 1997) and Fromm's (1962)

ideas of the relative value of shorter-term love versus long term love and sexuality.

The reports of wall socket sex and some older people coming to enjoy sex more than

when they were younger, were certainly consistent with Schnarch's (1991, 1997)

theory. The finding that there was no decrease in passion over time was also

consistent with previous research (Butler et al., 1995; Contreras et al., 1996;

Montgomery & Sorell, 1997; Reeder, 1996; Wang & Nguyen, 1995).

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Methodological Issues

Research on long term passionate love is prone to meet a degree of resistance

and defensiveness from prospective participants because it is precious, valued and

deeply personal. Further, people may be reluctant to threaten, compromise or

destabilise this love for the sake of a curious researcher.

Examining love may be threatening. Firstly, a person may be yearning to be

loved enough, to love enough, to be seen as deeply loveable, to feel cherished and

whole. Such yearnings are connected with the most subtle, fragile and primitive

sense of ourselves, established in infancy, according to attachment theorists (Bowlby,

1973, 1980). Secondly, the reality of the relationship is that the experience is usually

mixed. People squabble, punish (overtly and covertly) and strike out with varying

degrees of aggression. Thirdly, individuals in relationships have conflicting needs

(which contribute to the fighting and the struggle). The need to be assertive and

express beliefs and values and live by them is opposed to the need to work

respectfully with another. The need for comfort and safety counters the desire for

growth, change and challenge. The needs for independence and belonging are at

odds. Lastly loving and trusting another are risky because the beloved may abandon,

die, wound, reject or be unfaithful. The one who does the abandoning can also

experience deep anguish. To lose or threaten this precious attachment is painful.

Examining sex is also deeply threatening because it is a means by which

lovers express how deeply they cherish their beloved. Sex can be dangerous - it can

lead to unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases that can lead to death.

It can be physically painful and the many types of sexual dysfunction can be

troubling. Also a person's sense of their own body, their feelings about their sexual

impulses and his or her freedom to share these impulses can involve uncertainty,

shame or repugnance. Whether sex feels safe, enticing or unattractive will determine

whether people respond positively to the beloved, withdraw or resist.

Catania et al. (1990) quoted a number of studies that suggested that people

are threatened by sexual research, feeling that it is a private matter and should not be

talked about. The authors also discussed evidence suggesting that sexual questions

are threatening and can be answered inaccurately for fear of presenting oneself

negatively, although this is less likely to occur with self administered, privacy-

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respecting and anonymous questionnaires. There is also a problem of participation

bias with evidence suggesting that participants in sexual research are more likely

than non participants to be extroverted, confident, permissive, liberal, have more

positive views on erotic materials and be sexually uninhibited and curious (Catania et

al., 1990). This was also born out by the current research where respondents who did

not describe peak sexual experiences were statistically less passionate or inclined to

have mystical sexual experiences than their counterparts who did report them in

study one.

Udry (1993) asserted that sexual researchers need to examine whether

particular sexual or sexual/political attitudes or practices are subtly being promoted

by their research. That is, inherent within the body of the questions being asked is an

agenda, a sexual, psychological, philosophical or moral framework that may

influence or touch the respondent. Would participants considering participating in

the current research have exposed themselves to doubts about their sexual

sophistication, sexual honesty and the intensity of their engagement in their

relationship? Potential participants may have asked themselves: "Why make

yourself vulnerable in this way for a person you don't know, doing research that is of

uncertain value?" This may be true especially if a subtle agenda is covert and not

readily examinable (e.g. a presumed notion that only very erotic partners have good

enough sex).

Johnson et al. (1994) challenged the assumption that people who choose not

to participate in sexual research are necessarily inhibited. Certainly some aspects of

deciding not to participate in research may be adaptive. There are intrusions into

peoples' lives (e.g. telephone advertising and telemarketing surveys) that are

uncomfortable and which people become accustomed to defending themselves

against, knowing that such intrusions are often not benign. Good manners and good

will can be taken advantage of. Perhaps people feel a greater suspiciousness and a

greater need to protect themselves from requests for assistance from strangers than

they used to. Yet it is argued in the current study that some of the resistance to

participation may have stemmed from defensiveness, resulting in data which favours

the sexually adventurous and assertive.

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Limitations

The current research sought to develop a measure of mature passionate love.

Unfortunately at the end of two relatively large studies this was not completely

achieved, principally because the data were generally extremely skewed. It was not

possible to infer that the factor solution produced in the second study would be stable

with another sample. Therefore use with a larger item pool is suggested, until the

properties of the scale are more clearly established.

It was important to explore why the data was so skewed, with significant

kurtosis. The strength of the skew may have been because of poor items, the nature

of the construct being measured, skewed sample, or the data gathering process.

Nevertheless, there were advantages to the current sample in that one

research aim was to explore a construct, some aspects of which are purportedly

(Fromm, 1962) not easily achieved in the population at large. Hence, having a

skewed sample meant that individuals who are more highly developed or

differentiated, more passionate or more sexually passionate than average were

possibly being represented. Therefore, the qualitative experiences may be

particularly meaningful and representative of the construct. However, whether or not

the factors derived from the second study can be used on a range of different samples

is yet to be established.

Skew. Gorsuch (1983) argued that the Maximum Likelihood extraction

procedure was relatively insensitive to departures from normality if the sample size

exceeded 200. Further, he questioned the value of transforming variables to restore a

normal distribution because the correlations are not necessarily much altered and the

resultant distribution may over-amplify differences between variables. Hair et al.,

(1984) were unconcerned about the effect of skew, stating it was of more theoretical

than practical concern. Yet other authors have questioned using factor analysis on

skewed samples (e.g. Comrey, 1973). Further, very skewed items are not ideal

instruments for distinguishing between people. Items with means close to an

extreme "will have low variances, and those that vary over a narrow range will

correlate poorly with other items" (DeVellis, 1991, p. 83).

Social desirability. At the outset of study one, the author attempted to

measure relationship social desirability. The items apparently measured a dimension

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of both social desirability and idealisation. The measure that was produced had

merits and may be worth including with measures of positive illusions in future

research. Its moderate correlation with the Dyadic Adjustment Scale and relatively

greater importance in male relationship satisfaction, indicate the social

desirability/idealisation measure warrants further investigation. Paulhus (1991) has

suggested that two types of social desirability exist. One type is linked positively to

adjustment. The current findings are also consistent with the research on positive

illusions which represent a social desirability/adjustment type construct (Murray &

Holmes, 1997; Murray et al., 1996).

Heterocentrism. The current research largely reflected the opinions of and

research about heterosexual individuals and couples. The author recognises the

importance of and value of passionate love for all couples, heterosexual and

homosexual. Various lesbian friends and acquaintances were invited to participate

and involve others, but there was a reluctance to do so. The items of the Sexual

Arousability Inventory were apparently too heterosexually oriented for some

respondents. The author acknowledges these omissions and the relative lack of

representation of gay and lesbian passionate love.

Measurement Difficulties

Measuring differentiation or maturity - an elusive process. Measuring

personal maturity in passionate love could be difficult because people's ability to

gauge their differentiation may be limited. It may only be when a relationship is

threatened or lost, that a person can understand the extent of their dependence upon it

and the investment of their identity in it. A person's capacity to objectively monitor

and comment upon their own functioning will depend upon their growth. The

capacity of a self-report instrument to discriminate between differing levels of

personal development may also be limited.

Perhaps the reason that differentiation items were not as reliable and did not

factor well with other items in the first study was because people in loving

relationships were not as consistently positive about differentiation as they were

about other behaviours related to passionate love. In the qualitative data there were

reasonably high rates of endorsement of independence or differentiation qualities.

However, some respondents clearly felt dependent relationships were the most

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passionate - this showed up in some of the peak experiences. Some respondents'

notions may have been mixed or contradictory and this may explain the poorer

results with the Differentiation domain. There were lower communalities between

the whole scale and the Differentiation items relative to other domains. Taken

together these results suggest that Differentiation may possibly not belong with the

mature passionate love construct, or be the best representation of it. More research is

needed to make a definitive decision.

The content of the Trust items is related to personal maturity and it is possible

that these items can better represent maturity than Differentiation, but remain

consistent with the passionate love construct. However, the Differentiation items

seem to be more strongly related to maturity and lack of neuroticism.

It is interesting that neither Trust nor Differentiation is significantly related to

age or length of relationship. These findings are counter intuitive. However, there

are a number of historical changes in Western society that have taken place over the

preceding decades which mean that younger people are perhaps becoming

increasingly assertive and differentiated. Cancian (1987) has noted a movement

towards healthier, androgynous love styles; a decrease in patriarchy with children

being given more rights, adolescents being allowing more sexual expression and

authoritarianism decreasing. Cancian discussed evidence that women are less role

bound and other research has shown that both genders have become more sexually

liberal over the preceding decades (e.g., Hendrick & Hendrick, 1992). The

promotion of personal growth and respectful relations with people of different

cultures, genders, races and religions by liberal minded members of communities has

perhaps led to a more mutual, egalitarian Western cultures. It is argued that there

have been cross-generational changes in interpersonal styles. Older people may have

achieved personal growth through life experience, attaining a similar level of

differentiation to their children and grandchildren. Not only are standards changing

for children, but older people, like their children or grandchildren, are shown

healthier, more differentiated models of relationship functioning, which slowly

infiltrate their sense of self and sense of self in relationships.

Threatening construct content. A number of people commented that the

content of the questionnaire was personally threatening and several people who had

asked to participate changed their minds. Quite a large number of people who

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volunteered failed to follow through and return the questionnaire as well (e.g. 189

people volunteered from the Swinburne Tertiary and Further Education Business

School but only 24 returned them). Interestingly, a naturopath asked a number of her

clients (ones that she expected to be open enough to be interested in the research) to

participate. She said three times the number who accepted the questionnaire handed

it back saying it was too hard or unacceptable to them. It is unclear whether the

sexual or passionate involvement questions or both were challenging. However,

current feedback suggests that it may be difficult to get a representative sample

involved in research about this construct, irrespective of how "perfect" the scale

developed to measure it is.

Extreme nature of construct. Not only is the construct personally threatening,

but it is difficult to measure in a neutral way. Passion involves strong feelings and

people may prefer to see their relationship as passionate. To represent a marriage or

intimate relationship halfheartedly probably does not feel encouraging or uplifting.

The level of skewness (6.46) of the AMPL2 in the study two sample is higher than

the Hatfield and Sprecher's (1986) Passionate Love Scale (5.07) and Hendrick and

Hendrick's (1990) Eros subscale of the Love Attitude Scale (3.60). The AMPL2 was

less skewed than a measure of companionate love devised by Sprecher and Regan

(1998). Yet all these scales were significantly negatively skewed and this is perhaps

unavoidable to some extent, because people in long-term relationships are likely to

describe them positively.

Sampling Difficulties

Reluctance to be involved. A reluctance to describe very personal or sexual

experiences could also reflect a cultural sensitivity. The respondents were primarily

Australian and as a culture Australians tend not to easily express rapture or moments

of tender epiphany. We have a reputation for lopping tall poppies and profound and

ecstatic sex may be difficult to describe for strongly egalitarian, shy or unassuming

types.

Skewed data collection process. Some of the way data were gathered was

likely to intensify the skewness since respondents who answered media advertising

of the research were primed or interested in passionate love as a topic. Someone in

an unhappy or passionless relationship would logically be less interested in exploring

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passionate love and participating in related research. The snowball and university

generated samples would also tend to favour middle class participants. Sampling

through working class agencies, and /or targeting a sample with relationship

problems would have been valuable but was ultimately beyond the scope of the

study.

Further limitations

This study was subject to the limitations that apply to psychological research

that does not use an experimental design. Correlations do not imply causality. Much

of the process of validating the derived factors relied on correlations. These

correlations could possibly be mediated by other unknown variables. Also, because

the derived factors were strongly intercorrelated it was difficult to know to what

extent the factor was responsible for the correlations with other variables, rather than

its shared variance with the other factors.

Incomplete scale development. Several difficulties were encountered in the

process of scale development. Differences were found between the factor analytic

solutions on the first and second study. Also the Differentiation factor mostly loaded

weakly and across the factors in study one, although in study two it factored cleanly

enough.

As the current sample was quite skewed, the utility and performance of the

scale with other samples is somewhat uncertain. It would be premature to generalise

too much about mature passionate love on the basis of this research. Yet this scale

represents one of the first attempts to measure highly developed and passionate love

characteristics and may prove to be a useful research and clinical measure.

Further Development of the Scale

Future Research

More samples. It may be prudent to begin future research with 51 items (plus

one filter item, see Appendix N) rather than 31 items since the derived measure may

not be reliable or as factorially stable on another sample. Also, if another sample is

less skewed, it may be possible to produce a wider range of factors to measure

mature passionate love. Clark and Watson (1995) suggested that "good scale

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construction typically is an iterative process involving several periods of item

writing, followed in each case by conceptual and psychometric analysis" (p. 311).

Such rewriting may be necessary to produce a larger range of items with more

central means. The factors of Trust and Affection/Arousal were particularly skewed

and the Differentiation factor was not sufficiently reliable and these factors in

particular may need reworking.

Future research should correlate the AMPL2, or a revised version of it, with

more measures, especially ones measuring differentiation, friendship based love and

ones possibly related to transcendence to clarify the meaning of the derived factors.

The AMPL2 also needs to be tested on further samples to ascertain whether the

factor structure is robust. The validity and value of this measure would be enhanced

if its properties proved to be sound in a range of samples, including clinical ones

(Clark & Watson, 1995). The latent dimension that this AMPL2 Differentiation

factor measures, needs to be clarified by further exploration. The Differentiation

factor needs to be validated against other indicators of personal development since

the correlations with Ryff's (1989a) scale were not strong. It may be that a more

suitable measure of maturity could be found (e.g., the Skowron & Friedlander, 1998

measure of differentiation). A measure of adult attachment may also be useful for

validating maturity sub-scales. Also Ryff (personal communication, 18/7/1999)

questioned the suitability of using her scale for measuring psychosocial development,

suggesting that other scales may provide a more exact fit. Whether the

Differentiation items really fit together well enough in another less skewed sample

and whether they are sufficiently reliable needs to be ascertained. Also, it may be

worthwhile conducting more research with the social desirability/idealisation

measure.

Confirmatory factor analysis. If further research provides evidence of the

soundness of the scale, it would be appropriate to explore its properties with

confirmatory factor analysis (CFA). While some researchers have used confirmatory

methods early in the process of scale development, others have argued that this is

unwise. For instance, Byrne (2001) advised: "application of CFA procedures to

assessment instruments that are still in the initial stages of development represents a

serious misuse of this analytic strategy" (p. 99). Briggs and Cheek (1986) also

emphasised the importance of replicability of the factor structure across samples as

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being a measure of the soundness of the scale produced. In the current study, there

was not absolute replicability between study one and two, indicating the need for

caution before reducing the number of items down too stringently.

Longitudinal research. There is a need to examine the relationship between

the scale and behaviour. A longitudinal assessment of AMPL2 scores and

relationship maintenance rates would certainly provide behavioural evidence of the

place of mature passionate love in relationships - although such research requires

considerable funding and administration. A more detailed measure of actual sexual

behaviours, and frequency and style of sexual functioning would also link the

AMPL2 to behaviour.

Application of Scale

Schnarch did not endorse this author's attempts to represent his ideas. He did

not answer two letters asking for his feedback on the developmental versions of the

scale and this may have been because he was uninterested rather than busy. In a

workshop in Melbourne in July 2002, Schnarch emphasised his reluctance to endorse

or certify other therapists as representatives of his approach. The author therefore

cannot claim to be measuring his ideas rigorously. Yet his ideas theoretically inform

the work of many couple therapists, although not many therapists would use only his

framework. The tendency towards eclecticism in practice is well established, in fact

Andrews (2001) suggested that more than 70% of practitioners function this way.

Therefore a measure of mature passionate love with Schnarch flavours probably

serves a useful purpose. Also since Schnarch (2002) has suggested that sexual

functioning provides a measure of emotional connection, it may be that the two

sexual factors of Sexual Openness and Transcendence provide more than a measure

of sexual functioning. Indeed they might measure the capacity to be both highly

emotionally and sexually connected.

The capacity to have transcendental sex, open sexual communication and to

love in a differentiated, caring, trusting way are sophisticated relationship

characteristics. The AMPL2 can potentially be useful to measure the gains of

couples who enter therapy or marital enrichment programs to enhance and develop

rather than to address a particular malaise in their relationship.

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There is an increasing trend towards understanding and promoting positive

psychology (e.g. Yapko, 1997). Therefore, there is a need for more measures of

optimal functioning and preliminary evidence suggests that the AMPL2 fits into this

category.

Some intense emotional and sexual engagement may enhance the capacity for

a happy passionate long-term relationship. Therefore the higher the endorsement of

Sexual Openness, Transcendence, Trust, Differentiation, Affection/Arousal and the

AMPL2 as a whole, the greater the relationship well being and satisfaction may be.

There is evidence that this is the case, but more research is necessary to make this

link definitive.

This scale may also be of use for researchers who are measuring sexual and

relationship functioning over a range of ages and relationship stages. The Passionate

Love Scale is certainly useful and reliable. However, for researchers interested in the

adaptive and positive side of passionate love, rather than the Manic and anxiety

related side, the AMPL2 would be a superior measure. This means that the scale

may be a helpful measure of positive relationship and sexual functioning for those in

short and long term relationships and for young and older research participants.

A Comparison of Current Findings and Conceptualisations to Bergner's Theories

Bergner (2000) recently published a thoughtful paper on love and the barriers

to love, from a therapist's perspective. While this work was published too late to be

included conceptually in the current work, it represents a significant contribution to

the literature on love. Hence, a comparison of his proposed characteristics of

romantic love with the current hypothesised factors is made and presented in Table

39.

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Table 39 Concordance Between Bergner's Theory and the Current Theory on Contents of Love ____________________________________________________________________ Bergner romantic love characteristics Hypothesised mature passionate

love domains ____________________________________________________________________ Investment in the well- being of the beloved Engagement Appreciation/admiration Affection Sexual desire Eroticism Intimacy/inclusion Enthusiasm, openness/trust Commitment Exclusivity Understanding Engagement, openness/trust ____________________________________________________________________

There is a fairly close match between the current study theory and Bergner's .

However, commitment and exclusivity as described by Bergner are not explicitly

included in the hypothesised domains and the latter may be improved by including

Bergner's theory. Certainly faithfulness was included in respondents' descriptions of

the important characteristics of mature passionate love in study one and perhaps what

was implied by some respondent's description of trust. However, faithfulness per se

was not included among the questionnaire items. Interestingly, one respondent in

study two described how his relationship was enhanced by the couple's sexual

involvement with other couples. One respondent from study one and one respondent

from study two commented on how their refusal to being involved in swapping their

sexual partners had enhanced the passion within the partnership. Another woman

described how she did not feel threatened by her partner's involvement with other

women. Overall though, the current results would suggest that sexual exclusivity

and strong emotional investment were highly valued by respondents and this is

consistent with previous research (e.g., Johnson et al., 1994; Waite & Joiner, 2001).

Another difference between Bergner's (2000) propositions about love and

those proposed by the current research is that the former probably places a stronger

emphasis on the caring aspects of relationships or as he terms it "investment in the

well being of the beloved". Whereas the current research promotes the importance of

differentiation, in his paper Bergner emphasised how a mature lover behaves with

great respect and appreciation. Further, he described the barriers to loving another

as: the inability to understand and treat the persons as persons, the inability to

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understand and appreciate love itself, preemptive needs and motives, hypercritical

tendencies and believing and acting on a sense of unworthiness for another's for love.

His work adds to the theories of Fromm and Schnarch but does not replace them

because Fromm and Schnarchs' descriptions of love, passion and eroticism described

different aspects of relationships and self-in-relationships, and different paths to

enhance the capacity for loving another than Bergner's.

In sum. The work of Bergner (2000) adds to the present knowledge of love

and conceptions of passionate love in the current thesis by adding an emphasis on

exclusivity, care and commitment. Such conceptions could perhaps be usefully

considered for future versions of the scale.

Other Research Needed

More qualitative and quantitative research into peak sexual experiences and

how passion changes with relationship and family stage, needs to be undertaken.

Also, there is a need for more Australian research on factors which promote

relationship resilience and satisfaction. Examining the relationship between the

AMPL and adult attachment may also help elucidate the characteristics of the AMPL

measures of maturity. More research is needed to investigate passionate love in

relationships and how it is influenced by family life cycle and relationship stage.

Differences in passionate love may cancel each other out (for instance, some older

people become more passionate as their children grow up and for others the passion

diminishes). How passionate love influences relationship resilience needs to be

better understood. The results of the qualitative data from study one strongly

emphasise the need for trust; yet how passionate love, sexuality, trust, sexual trust

and sexual satisfaction influence relationship resilience and satisfaction is poorly

understood. This is regrettable since the breakdown of marriages and long term

relationships is so costly and painful to our society (McIntyre, 2001).

What is Mature Passionate Love?

Findings so far on the Nature of the Construct

The derived solution includes Transcendence, a sexual passionate domain

which has not previously been represented, or rarely represented, which is

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particularly relevant to mature relationships. Yet anecdotal and theoretical evidence

suggests that it is important in helping to understand what happens in long term

loving relationships and what the potential of the experience is.

The current research also included non-sexual domains in the measurement of

passionate love - enthusiasm, affection, openness/trust, engagement and

differentiation. The quantitative and qualitative research indicates that sex is highly

related to the non-sexual domains of the relationship. It is suggested that passionate

love needs to be conceptualised more broadly so that the context and meaning of the

arousal, attraction, sexual play and eroticism is understood.

Limitations of the Hatfield Model

The current research again calls into question one of the prevailing paradigms

on long term loving relationship - Hatfield's companionate love model. The present

findings do not call into question the importance of the companionate components of

love, rather they raise questions about how passionate love has been defined and

operationalised and the extent to which passionate love fades into companionate love

over time. The current research suggests that passionate love can last into long-term

relationships as a positive relationship force. A finding of this research was that it is

possible to have profound, passionate, even mystical love experiences that may be

enhanced and enriched by age and maturity.

Hatfield has consistently conceptualised passionate love as giving way to

companionate love as relationships lengthen (Hatfield, 1988; Hatfield & Rapson,

1998). Interestingly, Sprecher and Regan (1998) found, contrary to their

expectations, that a measure of companionate love was more strongly correlated with

sexual intimacy than passionate love was. A number of other studies of mature

passionate love have produced findings that were contrary to expectations.

Significant decreases in passionate love over time - expectations based on the

companionate model - were not found in other research as well (Butler et al., 1995;

Montgomery & Sorell, 1997; Reeder, 1996; Wang & Nguyen, 1995).

Passionate love, as Hatfield and Sprecher (1986) conceived it, had a small

inverse association to age and relationship length in the current research. However,

when Manic aspects of passionate love were partialled out, the relationship between

age, length of relationship and the Passionate Love Scale became non-significant.

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Also, in the present research, passionate love measures which have a low correlation

with Mania, including the AMPL2(Total) and its factors, and Eros (Hendrick &

Hendrick, 1990), were largely uncorrelated with age and relationship length. Mania

appears to be a less healthy, dependent love characterised by emotional extremes and

obsession, that has been shown to be negatively correlated with self-esteem

(Campbell et al., 2002; Mallandain & Davies, 1994). The apparently anomalous

findings that passionate love among the young was correlated with both adaptive

(e.g., Sprecher & Metts, 1989) and non-adaptive (e.g., Regan, 1998a) characteristics

can be explained by the overlap between passionate love and Mania. Further, the

absence of negative correlates for mature passionate lovers can be explained by the

relative absence of Mania in older samples.

The richness and variety of long term love and long term passionate love

needs to be elucidated. Hatfield's description of companionate love does not

adequately convey this richness. The qualitative findings of the current study attest

to the tenderness, beauty and significance of long-term love. Many individuals

expressed great passion about their beloved in a non-sexual context. For others,

sexuality, passion and mystical union were important ways of expressing and

experiencing passion. The importance and quality of sex in long term relationships,

indeed its quality improving or staying the same as people aged, has also been

emphasised in some very large random sample studies of sexuality (e.g. Johnson et

al., 1994).

The fact that healthy passionate love can persist, and all its richness, sexual

and non-sexual joy, need to be better understood and more widely discussed. To fail

in this task may encourage infidelity in long term relationships. Some people regard

passion and passionate love as a central part of a fulfilling life. If the "experts" tell

them that passion cannot be expected in long term relationships they may be

encouraged to be unfaithful when the relationship becomes difficult, bland or

troubled. These challenging times are a part of most long-term relationships and are

not danger signals that people are drifting apart, have fallen out of love or lost their

passion. Rather, they indicate that changes, attention, growth or playfulness may be

needed. If experts tell lovers that the richest, deepest and most exquisite passionate

experiences are to be found in long term loving relationship, they may be encouraged

to work through the lull and the distance. Older lovers could also expect that sexual

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difficulties are not because they are too old for sex, rather that adjustments are

needed when erections are not as hard and vaginal lubrication is not as automatic

because of age related changes. To expect that passion and lustiness only belong to

the young or the newly related is discouraging, ageist and inconsistent with research

findings. However, mature passionate love does not just happen, it is the fruit of

appropriate expectations and information, personal growth and the experience of a

shared life.

Our society needs to have positive models of long term love and long term

passionate love to promote understanding of the rewards of staying in relationships,

and that such a love does not just happen to us. Passionate love is promoted through

understanding the course of relationships and love, working through and sharing the

challenges that life presents. Growth, consideration, creativity and playfulness, in

and out of the bedroom, may enhance relationship resilience.

In sum. The notion that passionate love gives way to companionate love - a

love which has been operationalised as largely non-passionate (Hatfield & Rapson,

1998) - needs to be revised. The current research, along with a number of previous

studies, has demonstrated that passionate love can be largely uncorrelated with age

and relationship length, if its Manic qualities are controlled for. Further, it is

suggested that promoting the understanding of mature passionate love and mature

passionate sexuality may enhance relationship resilience and investment.

Relationship Relevant Summary of Findings and Theoretically Based Propositions

The following statements synthesise the findings of this research as it stands

alone and in conjunction with previous research:

1. Long term passionate love can be described as involving: affection,

differentiation, enthusiasm, engagement, eroticism, openness/trust and

transcendence.

2. Passionate love need not diminish with age and relationship length and in fact

may increase, becoming richer over time. Previous notions that passionate love

diminishes over time and is replaced by a largely apassionate companionate love

are incorrect, ageist and potentially damaging to relationship resilience.

3. Keeping passion, eroticism and sexual connection alive is likely to increase

relationship satisfaction.

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4. Profound mystical sexual experiences are possible and are slightly more likely

among older couple members.

5. Long term love can be a source of profound wonder, joy and gratefulness in the

lives of lovers.

6. The characteristics that respondents considered most important for mature

passionate love were in decreasing order of importance: trust, respect,

understanding, communication, honesty, affection/touching, friendship, time

together, to be there for each other, love, closeness/intimacy,

humour/fun/silliness/play, caring, desire/attraction and giving.

7. Some of the relevant theories and writings of Erich Fromm and David Schnarch,

particularly Schnarch, have been empirically supported. The books The Art of

Loving by Fromm and Passionate Marriage and Resurrecting Sex by Schnarch

may possibly be useful tools to enrich the maturity, passion and eroticism in

relationships.

Final Definition

Mature passionate love is a vital, caring, affectionate, trusting engagement

where differentiation is associated with erotic and engaging sexual communion that

may lead to mystical and transcendent experiences. Yet mature love is not easily

achieved because its nature is paradoxical, involving working respectfully with the

opposites of confidence and humility; autonomy and interdependence. Passionately

loving another requires hard work and evokes anxiety, but facilitates personal and

relationship renewal in the face of life's difficulties, disappointments and triumphs.

Conclusion

The current research represents a good first attempt at developing a

comprehensive measure of mature passionate love. The AMPL2 was based upon the

writings of Schnarch and Fromm, whose theories were overlapping, complementary

and useful for understanding the construct of mature passionate love. The AMPL2

comprised 31 items which included the factors: Sexual Openness (6 items), Trust (5

items), Differentiation (5 items), Affection/Arousal (7 items) and Transcendence (7

items). The generalisability of the findings is uncertain and the value of the AMPL2

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as a measure of passionate love was diminished by significantly skewed data.

However, there was qualitative evidence to support the hypothesised domains of

mature passionate love which were: affection, differentiation, engagement,

enthusiasm, eroticism, openness/trust and transcendence.

Evidence of mystical sexual peak experiences was also demonstrated in both

studies. Very little previous research has been undertaken in this domain, although

Maslow (1970) reported these qualities in his investigations into the experience of

self-actualised people.

In study two AMPL2(Total) and its factors demonstrated satisfactory

reliability (alpha, test-retest and mean inter-item correlation). The scale also had

satisfactory sampling adequacy for the factor analysis. Further, the factors were

largely independent of one another, although there were a few cross loadings and the

model did not fit well. These factor analytic results provide some evidence of

validity.

Further evidence of validity, in particular convergent validity, included the

moderate correlations with other established passionate love constructs (Hatfield &

Sprecher, 1986, Passionate Love Scale and the Eros sub-scale of Hendrick &

Hendrick's, 1990, Love Attitude Scale). Incremental validity was demonstrated by

the AMPL2(Total) and AMPL2 factor's generally non-significant correlations with

age and relationship length (unlike the Passionate Love Scale). Further evidence of

incremental validity was demonstrated by the AMPL2's low to moderate correlations

with the factors of the Ryff (1989a) Well Being scale and low to moderate

correlations with Hoon and Chambless' (1998) Sexual Arousability Inventory (which

were higher than the correlations of the Eros sub-scale of the Love Attitude Scale).

An empirical measure of Transcendent sex was developed for the first time and was

significantly more likely to be endorsed by those experiencing mystical sex than

those not reporting peak experiences. This initial research was promising. A broader

measure of mature passionate love seemed consistent with the embeddedness of

sexuality within non-sexual relationship characteristics like trust and affection.

The findings highlight real deficits in current understanding of mature

passionate love, suggesting the need for adjustments to Hatfield's companionate love

construct. It is proposed that further research is undertaken with the 51 item version

(plus one filter item) of the scale to clarify its properties and to test it on a range of

209

samples, hopefully ones that are less skewed (see Appendix N). Evidence so far

suggests that the transcendent aspect of the scale may be particularly useful in

providing relatively a new measure of aspects of passionate love.

Support was found for Schnarch's theoretical notions about

passionate/emotional engagement and the benefits of growth and maturity to an

erotic, passionate relationship. His notion of wall socket sex received validation in

both studies. Fromm's (1962) ideas about the importance of independence,

understanding of the richness of a mature, long term versus short-term love and

sexuality were supported by the qualitative data. The hypothesis, based on his

theory, that mature passionate love would be a rare phenomenon in this capitalist

society was not supported. Rather, Schnarch's (2002) theory that long term

relationships naturally hold the potential for growth, was supported more by the data.

The combination of qualitative and quantitative methodologies helped

provide a detailed picture of mature passionate love. The findings suggest that both

sexually oriented and non-sexually oriented couples can express passion about their

beloved and the relationship. But mature passionate love and mature sexuality are

thriving in some sections of the community. Whether there is a fairly uniform

maintenance of levels of passionate love over the years or whether there is an

averaging effect across the family life cycle needs to be investigated by future

research.

Passionately loving another can be a lifetime's work. It requires courage,

personal growth and generosity. It is an elusive, difficult task and one which

requires understanding and perseverance. Whether love develops into mature

passionate love has profound consequences. Hence, mature passionate love needs to

be better understood, conceptualised and researched. The current research is a small

step in the achievement of this important goal.

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APPENDIX A

Study One Questionnaire

Passionate love in long term relationships This research investigates the nature of passionate love in long term relationships. The answers

will provide valuable information about the relative importance of passionate love in long-term relationships. The research may provide information which is useful for counselling, marital programs and future research. I am inviting research participation from one person in a couple who is: a) currently married or living with their partner, b) has been married or living with their partner for at least 7 years, and c) is over the age of 27. My name is Anne Woodward and this research is part of my doctoral thesis in counselling psychology at Swinburne University of Technology. Dr Bruce Findlay and Professor Susan Moore are supervising this project. I would really appreciate your participation in this study. If you choose to participate all your answers will be completely anonymous and confidential. However it is very likely that the results of this research will be published in the future. Mostly group trends, rather than individual answers to questions will be reported. When I use qualitative information, I may want to include written answers to questions, then all identifying details will be altered or removed. It is understood that some of the questions are somewhat personal and your answers will be treated with respect. You are not obliged to participate and are free to withdraw at any time.

The questionnaire will probably take about a half hour. Although many questions may seem similar, it is important to answer all the questions as honestly as possible. Please do not spend too much time on any one question, your first response is probably the most accurate. When the questionnaire is finished please check to ensure you have not missed any questions. Sometimes a question may appear to overlook your special circumstances. If this is the case, make the best responses you can and add comments if none of the printed responses describe how you feel or if they do not fit your situation. To return the questionnaire, seal the envelope and send by reply paid post. ----------------------------------------------cut here-------------------------------------------------- If this research raises personal or relationship concerns which you would like to discuss with a counsellor, the following possibilities are offered: a) ring Lifeline (131114) for telephone counselling b) ring the Swinburne Centre for Psychological Services for face to face counselling 9214 8653 c) ring a Relationships Australia branch for face to face counselling at Kew on 9261 8700, Croydon

9725 9964, Narre Warren 9704 7788, Sunshine 9364 9033, Preston 9484 9775, Eltham 9431 1333. The findings of this research will be available in about a year and if you would like to know the results or if you have any queries or concerns about this study please contact Dr Bruce Findlay, Department of Psychology, telephone 9214 8093 or Anne Woodward, telephone 9459 1167. If any concerns remain, or you have any complaints about the way you have been treated, you should write to The Chair, Human Research Ethics Committee, Swinburne University of Technology, PO Box 218, Hawthorn, Vic, 3122. Your time and participation are very much appreciated.

233

BACKGROUND INFORMATION Gender: 1. Female. 2. Male (Please Circle)

Age ..........

Length of current relationship .......……………………………….…………………………………..

Number of marriages ........…………………………………………………………………………...

Number of children ........……………………………………………………………………………..

Age of children .....................................................……………….…………………………………..

Occupation ……………………………………………………………………………………………

Hours worked per week ......................................…………………………………………………….

Country of birth ......................................……………………………………………………………..

Country of birth of father and mother................................................…………………………………

Language/s spoken at home…………………………………………………………………………...

Is your place of residence (Please Circle) 1.Urban 2. Rural 3. A mixture of urban and rural

Please give state and country of residence…………………………………………………………….

Have you ever had psychological counselling? 1. Yes 2. No

Do you read self- help or personal growth books? 1. Yes 2. No

Have you ever had an experience which has deeply changed you and left you with greater insight about

yourself or human nature? If so, could you describe it…………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………..……………………………………..

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Please circle the answer or answers that applies to you:

Marital status: 1 Married

2 Living together, not married

Is your intimate relationship: 1 Heterosexual 2 Homosexual

Education Level: 1 Did not complete high school

2 Completed high school

3 Undertook skilled on the job training

4 Commenced trade qualification

5 Completed trade qualification

6 Commenced tertiary qualification

7 Completed tertiary qualification

8 Commenced post graduate studies

9 Completed post graduate studies

234

ATTITUDES TO RELIGION

Please mark the following items to indicate to what extent you believe the following statement is true of

you, where

1 = Very untrue of me 2 = Untrue of me 3 = Somewhat untrue of me 4 = Somewhat true of me 5 = True of me 6 = Very true of me

1. I believe in God. 1 2 3 4 5 6

2. I follow a particular faith. 1 2 3 4 5 6

3. I regularly attend church or an equivalent. 1 2 3 4 5 6

4. Belief in God is very important to me. 1 2 3 4 5 6

5. I engage in some form of prayer, meditation, communion or 1 2 3 4 5 6

conversation with God.

6. My belief in God is a comfort to me. 1 2 3 4 5 6

7. I think of God often. 1 2 3 4 5 6

8. I feel the need to please God. 1 2 3 4 5 6

9. I enjoy contemplating God’s nature and the purpose of existence. 1 2 3 4 5 6

10. I have found my own personal way of approaching God. 1 2 3 4 5 6

11. I read Holy Scriptures often. 1 2 3 4 5 6

12. I am careful to follow religious or spiritual principles in my life. 1 2 3 4 5 6

13. I see God as loving and caring 1 2 3 4 5 6

Please indicate if you belong to a particular denomination and if so which one is it?

...................................................

How often do you attend your place of worship? ...................................

How often do you pray, meditate or commune with God? ...............

235

MATURE PASSIONATE LOVE SCALE What do you think are the important characteristics of mature passionate love?

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Have you ever had a peak experience in a love relationship, for example: an experience of profound

oneness, incredibly intense joy during sexual contact or arising from loving your partner? Circle

Yes/No

If so, could you describe this experience:……………………………………………………………..

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Were you changed by this experience? If so, how?…………………………………………………

………………………………………………………..………………………………………………..

………………………………………………………………………………………………………… How passionate do you think your relationship with your partner is? Please circle

1 = Not at all passionate… 2 = Slightly passionate… 3 = Fairly passionate 4 = Considerably passionate 5 = Extremely passionate

The following questions describe a relationship characteristic. Please describe how important you think

that characteristic is by circling the number where

1 = Extremely unimportant… 2 = Unimportant… 3 = Slightly unimportant… 4 = Slightly important 5 = Important… 6 = Extremely important

How important to you is having a passionate relationship? 1 2 3 4 5 6

Do you believe independence is an important quality to maintain in relationships? 1 2 3 4 5 6

How important to you are the sensual and sexual aspects of your relationship? 1 2 3 4 5 6

How important to you is it to have an affectionate relationship? 1 2 3 4 5 6

How important is it for you and your partner to be involved with one another? 1 2 3 4 5 6

How important is it for you to feel enthusiastic about your relationship? 1 2 3 4 5 6

How important is it for your relationship to have a spiritual dimension to it? 1 2 3 4 5 6

236

To what extent do you feel the following statements are true of you and your intimate relationship:

1= Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Slightly Disagree 4 = Slightly Agree 5 = Agree 6 = Strongly Agree

1. I like to show affection to my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

2. I think our sex life is hot 1 2 3 4 5 6

3. I am in love with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

4. I am very interested in what my partner does and cares about 1 2 3 4 5 6

5. My partner's habits are perfect 1 2 3 4 5 6

6. During sex I sometimes experience a deep sense of merging with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

7. I see my partner as having separate needs and rights from mine 1 2 3 4 5 6

8. When my partner is moody, I let him/her be 1 2 3 4 5 6

9. I make time for my relationship even if I am busy 1 2 3 4 5 6

10. I can completely be myself when I am having sex with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

11. I tell my partner what I am really feeling 1 2 3 4 5 6

12. I really enjoy being with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

13. I like to give my partner presents 1 2 3 4 5 6

14. I enjoy inventing new ways to make love with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

15. My strength enhances my relationship 1 2 3 4 5 6

16. I don’t think anyone could possibly be happier than my partner and I when

we are with one another 1 2 3 4 5 6

17. I think my partner is ideal for me 1 2 3 4 5 6

18. I like to look deeply into my partner's eyes during sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

19. Through loving my partner I know my spiritual essence profoundly 1 2 3 4 5 6

20. My partner and I do exciting things together 1 2 3 4 5 6

21. There have been times when I feel as though my partner and I are one 1 2 3 4 5 6

22. I always remain calm and open if we disagree 1 2 3 4 5 6

23. My relationship with my partner has a magical quality 1 2 3 4 5 6

24. I currently have sex, or some form of sexual contact with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

25. I really enjoy doing things with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

26. I think my relationship with my partner is fantastic 1 2 3 4 5 6

27. I am intensely sexually attracted to my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

237

To what extent do you feel the following statements are true of you and your intimate relationship:

1= Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Slightly Disagree 4 = Slightly Agree 5 = Agree 6 = Strongly Agree

28. Loving my partner means seeing beyond my own needs 1 2 3 4 5 6

29. My partner is so fascinating it will take me a lifetime to know him/her

completely 1 2 3 4 5 6

30. I work hard at understanding my partner's point of view 1 2 3 4 5 6

31. Sex feels like a spiritual gift sometimes 1 2 3 4 5 6

32. My partner is perfect 1 2 3 4 5 6

33. My partner and I kiss, hug and hold one another often 1 2 3 4 5 6

34. I feel comfortable asking my partner to bring me to orgasm when sex is

over or when he/she doesn't want sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

35. When I am away from my partner I can be completely happy 1 2 3 4 5 6

36. I think my partner and I share an interest in similar things 1 2 3 4 5 6

37. I love my partner intensely 1 2 3 4 5 6

38. I feel very comfortable telling my partner what will increase my pleasure

when we make love (things like: softer, harder, slower, to the left etc.) 1 2 3 4 5 6

39. I am happy to show my fears and struggles to my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

40. I tell my partner everything I am thinking and feeling 1 2 3 4 5 6

41. I feel an overwhelming rush of affection for my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

42. I feel free to share fantasies with my partner during sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

43. I feel confident about the strength of my relationship 1 2 3 4 5 6

44. I spend quality time with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

45. I feel that in troubled times I can count on my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

46. I get sexually excited thinking about my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

47. My partner and I understand each other completely 1 2 3 4 5 6

48. I really adore my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

49. For me, the sexual chemistry feels right between my partner and me 1 2 3 4 5 6

50. I try to take care of myself so I can be more loving 1 2 3 4 5 6

51. I love to share my interests with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

52. My need for and my love for my partner are separate 1 2 3 4 5 6

238

To what extent do you feel the following statements are true of you and your intimate relationship:

1= Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Slightly Disagree 4 = Slightly Agree 5 = Agree 6 = Strongly Agree

53. I try to please my partner sexually 1 2 3 4 5 6

54. I tell my partner what is important to me even if he/she disagrees 1 2 3 4 5 6

55. I find my partner really interesting 1 2 3 4 5 6

56. I love my partner wholeheartedly despite knowing that he/she may die first 1 2 3 4 5 6

57. I feel open to what my partner wants sexually 1 2 3 4 5 6

58. I sometimes experience spiritual ecstasy through loving my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

59. I think our relationship has been problem free 1 2 3 4 5 6

60. When my partner is under stress I try to understand his/her experience 1 2 3 4 5 6

61. I am honest with my partner about how sexually excited I am or whether

I have reached orgasm 1 2 3 4 5 6

62. I am happy giving more than my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

63. I like to share my thoughts and feelings with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

64. I like to receive affection from my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

65. There are still new things that my partner and I find to do when we make love 1 2 3 4 5 6

66. I show my partner who I really am 1 2 3 4 5 6

67. I feel that I have endless things to talk about with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

68. My relationship with my partner is an enormous gift to my life 1 2 3 4 5 6

69. I really enjoy having sex with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

70. My vitality is expressed in my loving 1 2 3 4 5 6

71. My partner has all the qualities I've ever wanted in a mate 1 2 3 4 5 6

72. I feel very lucky to be with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

73. At times I am so moved by our love making that I cry or feel like crying 1 2 3 4 5 6

74. I really enjoy extended foreplay 1 2 3 4 5 6

75. My partner is a separate person to me 1 2 3 4 5 6

76. I feel very tender towards my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

77. I find my partner's sensual touch thrilling 1 2 3 4 5 6

78. In loving my partner I experience a sweet, spiritual presence 1 2 3 4 5 6

79. I am eager to learn more about my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

239

To what extent do you feel the following statements are true of you and your intimate relationship:

1= Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Slightly Disagree 4 = Slightly Agree 5 = Agree 6 = Strongly Agree

80. I accept that relationships involve pain and disappointment 1 2 3 4 5 6

81. I feel comfortable giving myself sexual pleasure in front of my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

82. I am happy having independence from my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

83. I am attracted to my partner and no-one else 1 2 3 4 5 6

84. I am earnest about loving my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

85. I like to leave the lights on during sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

86. I like to take time over sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

87. I feel confident that I will continue to enjoy being with my partner in the

future 1 2 3 4 5 6

88. I show my partner how much I love him/her in the little things I do 1 2 3 4 5 6

89. I love my partner without conditions 1 2 3 4 5 6

90. I tell my partner what I am really thinking 1 2 3 4 5 6

91. Our relationship has been perfectly harmonious 1 2 3 4 5 6

92. I think my partner is a really wonderful person 1 2 3 4 5 6

93. My experience during lovemaking is heavenly, almost mystical at times 1 2 3 4 5 6

94. Sex feels like a sacred act sometimes 1 2 3 4 5 6

95. My partner and I go on adventures together 1 2 3 4 5 6

96. I like to touch my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

97. When he/she is not around I find myself thinking about having sex with

my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

98. I ask my partner what he/she does and cares about 1 2 3 4 5 6

99. There have been times when I feel absolutely complete because of loving

my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

100. I feel able to say exactly how I feel during sex with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

101. I can reveal my innermost thoughts and feelings to my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

102. I think of my partner positively at all times 1 2 3 4 5 6

103. Sometimes our love has a mystical quality to it 1 2 3 4 5 6

104. I think our sex life is great 1 2 3 4 5 6

240

To what extent do you feel the following statements are true of you and your intimate relationship:

1= Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Slightly Disagree 4 = Slightly Agree 5 = Agree 6 = Strongly Agree

105. I love my partner wholeheartedly without worrying too much about the

future 1 2 3 4 5 6

106. I can enjoy being with my partner and not saying anything 1 2 3 4 5 6

107. I value my relationship 1 2 3 4 5 6

108. When we are away from one another I fantasize about having sex with

my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

109. I remain true to myself in my relationship 1 2 3 4 5 6

110. My partner and I speak pleasantly to each other at all times 1 2 3 4 5 6

111. I feel so alive in loving my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

112. When we make love I feel completely exposed emotionally and this

feels comfortable 1 2 3 4 5 6

113. I have learned not to fight with my partner about the same old issues 1 2 3 4 5 6

114. I tell my partner what is going on in my life 1 2 3 4 5 6

115. Through loving my partner I sometimes experience the nearness of God 1 2 3 4 5 6

116. I get playful when we have sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

117. I feel acceptable to my partner because I am acceptable to myself 1 2 3 4 5 6

118. I like to know what my partner is thinking, feeling and doing 1 2 3 4 5 6

119. I feel really enthusiastic about my relationship with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

120. There are times during sex when I feel utter ecstasy, completely

transported as though time has stopped 1 2 3 4 5 6

121. I can luxuriate in my partner's sensual touch 1 2 3 4 5 6

122. All my needs are being met by my relationship 1 2 3 4 5 6

123. I like to organise pleasant surprises for my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

124. I feel comfortable suggesting new ways of making love to my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

125. I sometimes experience a profoundly beautiful quietness during sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

126. I sometimes experience that my beloved and I are made of the same essence 1 2 3 4 5 6

127. My relationship with my partner gives me great joy 1 2 3 4 5 6

128. Sensual touching is an important part of lovemaking for me 1 2 3 4 5 6

241

To what extent do you feel the following statements are true of you and your intimate relationship:

1= Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Slightly Disagree 4 = Slightly Agree 5 = Agree 6 = Strongly Agree

129. I see my partner as he/she is 1 2 3 4 5 6

130. I am always sexually ready for my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

131. I experience that time stops during sex sometimes 1 2 3 4 5 6

132. I can say if I don't feel comfortable with what my partner wants sexually 1 2 3 4 5 6

133. I sometimes experience that my beloved and I are one 1 2 3 4 5 6

134. Getting to know my partner is a wonderful process 1 2 3 4 5 6

135. There is a certain something about my partner that attracts me sexually 1 2 3 4 5 6

136. When my partner is in the mood for a fight, I can stay out of it 1 2 3 4 5 6

137. I believe that to really love my partner I must understand myself 1 2 3 4 5 6

138. I can talk with my partner for hours and hours 1 2 3 4 5 6

139. I often have romantic thoughts about my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

140. I feel free to tell my partner what I am thinking when we are having sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

141. When I feel troubled I can take care of myself independently of my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

142. Every new thing that I have learned about my partner has pleased me 1 2 3 4 5 6

143. I try to reach out to my partner when he/she is unhappy or overwhelmed 1 2 3 4 5 6

144. I feel comfortable being naked in front of my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

145. The act of loving my partner brings me closer to God 1 2 3 4 5 6

146. There is so much to learn about my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

147. I give to my partner unconditionally 1 2 3 4 5 6

148. I sometimes experience profound feelings of contentment, wholeness and

peace through loving my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

149. I keep finding out new aspects to my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

150. I feel so glad to know and love my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

151. I love with so much energy 1 2 3 4 5 6

152. I like to spend a long time touching my partner before we make love 1 2 3 4 5 6

153. During sex I sometimes experience that the boundaries between my partner

and I blur 1 2 3 4 5 6

242

APPENDIX B

Facets and Domains of Passionate Love

DIFFERENTIATION (21 items) Very Skewed (vs)>8: 7, 75, 82 Skewed (s) >6: 54, 89, 109, 129, 137 Degree of conceptual relevance of subcategory to construct: 1 = central 2 = important 3 = fairly important 4= questionable importance 1. Independence - partner is separate 7vs, 75vs

- When I'm troubled 141 - Enhances relationship 15, 50 - Happy 35, 82vs - True to self 109s - Need and love separate 52 - despite disagreement 54s

1. Self knowledge and acceptance - & partner acceptance 117 - self understanding 137s - ? here? see partner as are 129s

3. Giving - seeing beyond needs 28 - more than partner 62 - unconditional 89s, 147

4. Fighting - let partner be 8, 136 - don't repeat patterns 113

ENTHUSIASM (19 items) Very Skewed >8: 4, 12, 68, 72, 127, 150 Skewed >6: 26, 98, 118, 119, 134 1. Interest - knowledge of partner 29, 55, 79, 134s, 146, 149

- in partner 4vs, 98s - partner's feelings 118s

1. Enjoyment - being with 12vs - relationship 26s, 119s, 127vs - gift 68vs, 72vs, 150vs

1. Vitality - 70, 111, 151

243

ENGAGEMENT (18 items) Dubious Relevance: 80 Very Skewed >8: 25, 45, 56, 80, 84, 107, 143 Skewed >6: 44, 51, 60, 88 1. Activity - time 9, 44s

- Doing things together 20, 25vs, 95 - Presents/surprises 13, 88s, 123

**Note presents/surprises may not be central 3. Shared interest - 36, 51s 1. Caring - despite mortality 56vs, 105

- understanding in stress 60s, 143vs - understanding point of view 30 - earnest 84vs, 107vs - cared about 45vs

OPENNESS/TRUST (12 items) Very skewed >8: Skewed >6: 1. Communication - what I do 114vs

- of thoughts and feelings 11s, 63vs, 90s, 101s - who I am 66s - endless topics 67, 138s - be quiet 106vs

2. Trust - Show fears 39 - confident r/ship 43vs, 87vs TRANSCENDENCE (20 items) Skewed > 6: 6, 99, 148 1. Merging - merging in sex 6s, 126, 133, 153

- completion 21, 99s, 148s 1. Peak experience in sex - ecstasy 120

- moved, crying 73 - quietness 125 - time stops 131

2. Closeness to God - mysticism love 58, 78, 103 - mystical sex 93 - sex spiritual gift 31, 94 - love brings God closer 19, 115, 145

** Note this last subcategory is difficult to classify since it depends on your spiritual framework AFFECTION (13 Items) Dubious content: 17vs, 23, 92s, 139s Very Skewed >8: 3, 17, 37, 64, 96 Skewed >6:1, 33, 41, 48, 76, 92, 139 1. Affection - show 1vs

- receive 64s - feel 41s

1. Touch - 33s, 96s 3. Feel love and tenderness - 3vs, 37vs, 48s, 76s

244

EROTICISM (35 Items) Very Skewed >8: 24, 53, 61, 69, 128, 144 Skew >6: 27, 38, 49, 57, 74, 121, 132, 135 1. Sensuousness - foreplay 74s

- time 86 - touching 77, 121s, 128vs, 152

1. Openness - look in eyes 18 -self in sex10 - sexual communicativeness 34, 38s, 61vs, 100, 132s, 140

- openness 57s - self pleasure 81 - nudity 144vs - lights on 85 - emotional exposure112

2. Good sex life - 2, 69vs, 104 - sexual novelty 14, 65, 124 - fantasy/thinking 42, 46, 97, 108 - playful, 116 - pleasing partner 53vs

1. Attraction - 27s, 49s, 135s Filter item 24vs. SOCIAL DESIRABILITY (15 items) No skewed items 1. Perfect - partner 5, 32, 71, 142

- behaviour 22, 40, 83, 102, 110, 130 - relationship 16, 47, 59, 91, 122

245

APPENDIX C

Study One Articles

1. Campus Review, 2-8/8/2000

2. Good Medicine, December 2000

3. The Herald Sun , 14/2/2001

246

247

248

249

APPENDIX D

Table of Means and Skew

Table 40 Mean, Standard Deviation, Skew and Kurtosis for Items (N = 187) __________________________________________________________________________ Item #

Item Factor X SD Skew Kurtosis

1. I like to show affection to my partner A 4.89 1.246 -6.94 3.13

2. I think our sex life is hot E 4.02 1.48 -3.38 -1.32

3. I am in love with my partner A 5.40 1.00 -13.22 18.00

4. I am very interested in what my partner does and cares about

Ent 5.36 0.84 -10.15 13.61

5 My partner's habits are perfect SD 2.85 1.17 1.72 -2.17 6. During sex I sometimes experience a

deep sense of merging with my partner T 4.62 1.35 -6.068 1.33

7. I see my partner as having separate needs and rights from mine

D 5.27 0.90 -9.15 10.21

8. When my partner is moody, I let him/her be

D 4.52 1.03 -2.98 0.54

9. I make time for my relationship even if I am busy

Eng 4.575 1.07 -4.67 1.97

10. I can completely be myself when I am having sex with my partner

E 4.77 1.41 -5.99 0.30

11. I tell my partner what I am really feeling

O/T 4.77 1.17 -6.93 4.35

12. I really enjoy being with my partner Ent 5.45 0.84 -12.08 17.65 13. I like to give my partner presents Eng 4.72 1.16 -5.92 3.41 14. I enjoy inventing new ways to make

love with my partner E 4.037 1.37 -3.14 -1.02

15. My strength enhances my relationship D 4.45 1.12 -4.08 1.57 16 I don’t think anyone could possibly be

happier than my partner and I when we are with one another

SD 4.13 1.49 -2.07 -2.25

17. I think my partner is ideal for me A 5.01 1.17 -8.75 7.08 18. I like to look deeply into my partner's

eyes during sex E 3.48 1.48 0.13 -2.69

19. Through loving my partner I know my spiritual essence profoundly

T 3.06 1.54 1.14 -2.94

20. My partner and I do exciting things together

Eng 4.35 1.21 -3.69 0.37

21. There have been times when I feel as though my partner and I are one

T 4.46 1.58 -4.86 -0.91

22 I always remain calm and open if we disagree

SD 2.92 1.31 1.81 -2.16

23. My relationship with my partner has a magical quality

A 3.97 1.43 -2.63 -1.59

24. I currently have sex, or some form of sexual contact with my partner

E 5.33 1.09 -14.04 21.62

25. I really enjoy doing things with my partner

Eng 5.36 0.80 -9.90 15.14

26. I think my relationship with my partner is fantastic

Ent 4.80 1.18 -6.77 3.82

27. I am intensely sexually attracted to my partner

E 4.64 1.25 -6.44 2.75

28. Loving my partner means seeing beyond my own needs

D 4.74 1.19 -5.93 2.42

29. My partner is so fascinating it will take me a lifetime to know him/her completely

Ent 3.89 1.36 -1.35 -1.71

30. I work hard at understanding my partner's point of view

Eng 4.57 1.06 -5.31 3.06

31. Sex feels like a spiritual gift sometimes T 3.58 1.64 -0.83 -3.32 32 My partner is perfect SD 2.96 1.43 2.22 -2.39 Note Table continued next page

250

Item#

Item Factor X SD Skew Kurtosis

33. My partner and I kiss, hug and hold one another often

A 4.76 1.36 -6.63 2.01

34. I feel comfortable asking my partner to bring me to orgasm when sex is over or when he/she doesn't want sex

E 4.05 1.61 -2.45 -2.70

35. When I am away from my partner I can be completely happy

D 4.128 1.45 -3.40 -1.87

36. I think my partner and I share an interest in similar things

Eng 4.74 1.01 -5.99 4.66

37. I love my partner intensely A 5.18 1.07 -9.92 10.31 38. I feel very comfortable telling my

partner what will increase my pleasure when we make love (things like: softer, harder, slower, to the left etc.)

E 4.82 1.25 -6.28 1.95

39. I am happy to show my fears and struggles to my partner

O/T 4.84 1.24 -5.37 0.52

40s I tell my partner everything I am thinking and feeling

SD 3.97 1.35 -2.80 -1.44

41. I feel an overwhelming rush of affection for my partner

A 4.75 1.23 -6.30 2.88

42. I feel free to share fantasies with my partner during sex

E 3.72 1.51 -1.13 -2.95

43. I feel confident about the strength of my relationship

O/T 5.18 1.06 -10.92 12.66

44. I spend quality time with my partner Eng 4.94 1.15 -7.15 4.30 45. I feel that in troubled times I can count

on my partner Eng 5.42 0.99 -12.63 15.70

46. I get sexually excited thinking about my partner

E 4.47 1.30 -5.70 1.84

47 My partner and I understand each other completely

SD 4.17 1.25 -2.99 -0.59

48. I really adore my partner A 4.87 1.28 -7.36 3.74 49. For me, the sexual chemistry feels right

between my partner and me E 4.71 1.36 -6.71 2.26

50. I try to take care of myself so I can be more loving

D 4.56 1.19 -3.64 -0.50

51. I love to share my interests with my partner

Eng 4.93 1.04 -6.81 4.06

52. My need for and my love for my partner are separate

D 3.76 1.50 -1.26 -2.59

53. I try to please my partner sexually E 5.06 1.00 -8.08 7.43 54. I tell my partner what is important to

me even if he/she disagrees D 4.94 0.98 -7.74 8.04

55. I find my partner really interesting Ent 4.92 .938 -5.74 4.74 56. I love my partner wholeheartedly

despite knowing that he/she may die first

Eng 5.32 1.05 -11.80 13.57

57. I feel open to what my partner wants sexually

E 5.00 1.08 -7.48 6.16

58. I sometimes experience spiritual ecstasy through loving my partner

T 3.42 1.67 0.25 -3.48

59 I think our relationship has been problem free

SD 2.50 1.46 4.41 -1.23

60. When my partner is under stress I try to understand his/her experience

Eng 5.10 0.80 -6.40 7.03

61. I am honest with my partner about how sexually excited I am or whether I have reached orgasm

E 5.16 1.09 -9.80 9.43

62. I am happy giving more than my partner

D 4.32 1.24 -2.02 -1.79

63. I like to share my thoughts and feelings with my partner

O/T 5.011 1.03 -8.46 7.91

64. I like to receive affection from my partner

A 5.46 0.75 -10.75 18.26

65 There are still new things that my partner and I find to do when we make love

E 4.52 1.41 -3.44 -1.28

66. I show my partner who I really am O/T 4.90 1.15 -7.75 5.25 67. I feel that I have endless things to talk

about with my partner O/T 4.69 1.12 -5.34 2.41

68. My relationship with my partner is an enormous gift to my life

Ent 5.22 1.04 -9.81 10.44

Note Table continued next page

251

Item #

Item Factor X SD Skew Kurtosis

69. I really enjoy having sex with my

partner E 5.14 1.12 -10.25 10.78

70. My vitality is expressed in my loving Ent 4.34 1.30 -3.29 -0.82 71 My partner has all the qualities I've

ever wanted in a mate SD 4.23 1.36 -2.89 -1.73

72. I feel very lucky to be with my partner Ent 5.21 1.07 -10.72 11.57 73. At times I am so moved by our love

making that I cry or feel like crying T 3.47 1.68 0.33 -3.57

74. I really enjoy extended foreplay E 4.80 1.21 -6.07 2.10 75. My partner is a separate person to me D 5.37 0.89 -10.34 12.22 76. I feel very tender towards my partner A 5.19 0.87 -6.90 7.40 77. I find my partner's sensual touch

thrilling E 4.83 1.16 -5.72 2.21

78. In loving my partner I experience a sweet, spiritual presence

T 3.54 1.53 -1.02 -2.86

79. I am eager to learn more about my partner

Ent 4.70 1.10 -5.15 2.43

80. I accept that relationships involve pain and disappointment

Eng 5.24 0.90 -9.06 11.91

81. I feel comfortable giving myself sexual pleasure in front of my partner

E 3.47 1.76 0.11 -3.90

82. I am happy having independence from my partner

D 4.98 1.01 -8.16 8.06

83 I am attracted to my partner and no-one else

SD 3.99 1.60 -1.49 -3.50

84. I am earnest about loving my partner Eng 5.07 1.02 -8.80 8.85 85. I like to leave the lights on during sex E 4.01 1.42 -2.5 14.37 86. I like to take time over sex E 4.88 1.06 -5.5 1.96 87. I feel confident that I will continue to

enjoy being with my partner in the future

O/T 5.26 1.03 -11.75 15.44

88. I show my partner how much I love him/her in the little things I do

Eng 5.01 0.97 -7.54 7.91

89. I love my partner without conditions D 4.84 1.19 -6.97 3.99 90. I tell my partner what I am really

thinking O/T 4.61 1.10 -6.34 3.80

91 Our relationship has been perfectly harmonious

SD 2.92 1.46 2.39 -1.96

92. I think my partner is a really wonderful person

A 5.16 0.96 -7.74 18.54

93. My experience during lovemaking is heavenly, almost mystical at times

T 3.36 1.51 0.75 -2.50

94. Sex feels like a sacred act sometimes T 3.34 1.63 0.78 -3.39 95. My partner and I go on adventures

together Eng 4.46 1.20 -3.60 -0.03

96. I like to touch my partner A 5.20 0.90 -9.16 9.47 97. When he/she is not around I find myself

thinking about having sex with my partner

E 4.16 1.38 -3.73 -0.68

98. I ask my partner what he/she does and cares about

Ent 4.89 0.93 -6.10 5.70

99. There have been times when I feel absolutely complete because of loving my partner

T 4.89 1.25 -6.94 3.14

100. I feel able to say exactly how I feel during sex with my partner

E 4.64 1.24 -4.64 0.11

101. I can reveal my innermost thoughts and feelings to my partner

O/T 4.70 1.22 -6.30 2.83

102 I think of my partner positively at all times

SD 3.58 1.33 -0.15 -2.19

103. Sometimes our love has a mystical quality to it

T 3.42 1.47 0.15 -2.35

104 I think our sex life is great E 4.4 1.33 -5.25 0.86 105 I love my partner wholeheartedly

without worrying too much about the future

Eng 4.56 1.26 -5.17 1.29

106 I can enjoy being with my partner and not saying anything

O/T 5.17 1.00 -11.39 15.89

107 I value my relationship Eng 5.53 0.75 -12.93 22.97 Note Table continued next page

252

Item #

Item Factor X SD Skew Kurtosis

108 When we are away from one another I fantasize about having sex with my partner

E 4.05 1.39 -3.44 -0.87

109 I remain true to myself in my relationship

D 5.04 0.95 -6.22 3.66

110 My partner and I speak pleasantly to each other at all times

SD 3.45 1.35 0.06 -2.46

111. I feel so alive in loving my partner

Ent 4.54 1.13 -5.02 3.31

112. When we make love I feel completely exposed emotionally and this feels comfortable

E 4.28 1.45 -3.63 -1.77

113. I have learned not to fight with my partner about the same old issues

D 4.28 1.31 -3.61 -0.60

114. I tell my partner what is going on in my life

O/T 5.02 0.99 -9.30 10.38

115. Through loving my partner I sometimes experience the nearness of God

T 2.84 1.65 3.16 -2.50

116 I get playful when we have sex E 4.35 1.25 -4.59 1.46 117 I feel acceptable to my partner because

I am acceptable to myself D 4.66 1.11 -5.85 4.12

118 I like to know what my partner is thinking, feeling and doing

Ent 4.76 1.10 -6.90 4.37

119 I feel really enthusiastic about my relationship with my partner

Ent 4.93 1.07 -7.83 7.45

120 There are times during sex when I feel utter ecstasy, completely transported as though time has stopped

T 4.11 1.63 -3.07 -2.59

121 I can luxuriate in my partner's sensual touch

E 4.72 1.21 -6.43 3.06

122 All my needs are being met by my relationship

SD 4.032 1.48 -2.18 -2.51

123 I like to organise pleasant surprises for my partner

Eng 4.58 1.04 -4.35 3.46

124 I feel comfortable suggesting new ways of making love to my partner

E 4.16 1.35 -3.06 1.24

125 I sometimes experience a profoundly beautiful quietness during sex

T 4.02 1.47 -2.57 -2.03

126 I sometimes experience that my beloved and I are made of the same essence

T 3.68 1.61 -0.15 -3.32

127 My relationship with my partner gives me great joy

Ent 5.08 1.04 -9.85 11.82

128 Sensual touching is an important part of lovemaking for me

E 5.17 1.03 -9.97 12.00

129 I see my partner as he/she is D 5.14 0.81 -6.36 5.85 130 I am always sexually ready for my

partner SD 3.68 1.40 -0.88 -2.73

131 I experience that time stops during sex sometimes

T 3.98 1.42 -2.38 -1.81

132 I can say if I don't feel comfortable with what my partner wants sexually

E 5.12 0.84 -7.39 8.12

133 I sometimes experience that my beloved and I are one

T 4.05 1.59 -2.02 -2.98

134 Getting to know my partner is a wonderful process

Ent 4.871 1.00 -6.27 5.27

135 There is a certain something about my partner that attracts me sexually

E 4.93 1.06 -7.37 6.43

136 When my partner is in the mood for a fight, I can stay out of it

D 3.85 1.23 -1.66 -1.33

137 I believe that to really love my partner I must understand myself

D 4.97 1.00 -6.73 4.85

138 I can talk with my partner for hours and hours

O/T 4.85 1.14 -6.31 3.04

139 I often have romantic thoughts about my partner

A 4.76 1.10 -6.10 4.10

140 I feel free to tell my partner what I am thinking when we are having sex

E 4.44 1.29 -5.09 0.94

141 When I feel troubled I can take care of myself independently of my partner

D 4.48 1.14 -3.39 0.02

Note Table continued next page

253

Item #

Item Factor X SD Skew Kurtosis

142 Every new thing that I have learned about my partner has pleased me

SD 3.73 1.29 -0.78 -2.02

143 I try to reach out to my partner when he/she is unhappy or overwhelmed

Eng 5.23 0.80 -8.20 11.53

144 I feel comfortable being naked in front of my partner

E 5.23 1.03 -9.60 9.21

145 The act of loving my partner brings me closer to God

T 2.97 1.73 2.48 -3.18

146 There is so much to learn about my partner

Ent 4.47 1.09 -3.04 0.12

147 I give to my partner unconditionally D 4.54 1.22 -4.06 0.12 148 I sometimes experience profound

feelings of contentment, wholeness and peace through loving my partner

T 4.86 1.24 -6.99 3.15

149 I keep finding out new aspects to my partner

Ent 4.32 1.06 -1.53 -0.19

150 I feel so glad to know and love my partner

Ent 5.26 0.94 -10.05 11.44

151 I love with so much energy Ent 4.32 1.21 -3.24 0.19 152 I like to spend a long time touching my

partner before we make love E 4.35 1.21 -3.24 -0.04

153 During sex I sometimes experience that the boundaries between my partner and I blur

T 3.87 1.60 -1.80 -2.99

____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Note. Item # = item number, A = Affection Factor, E = Eroticism Factor, Eng = Engagement Factor, Ent = Enthusiasm Factor, O/T = Openness/ Trust Factor, SD = Social Desirability Factor, T = Transcendence Factor

254

APPENDIX E

Computer Print Out of Three Factor Analytic Solution with 42 Items KMO

Kaiser-Meyer-Olkin Measure of

Sampling Adequacy.

.951

Bartlett's Test of Sphericity

Approx. Chi-Square

5962.301

Df 861Sig. .000

Communalities

Initial Extractionmature

passionate love scale

1

.682 .452

MPLS6 .724 .616MPLS9 .579 .382

MPLS18 .574 .472MPLS20 .648 .480MPLS21 .700 .618MPLS26 .800 .740MPLS33 .678 .530MPLS38 .721 .638MPLS39 .681 .457MPLS41 .754 .673MPLS42 .612 .489MPLS43 .739 .640MPLS45 .708 .582MPLS46 .744 .640MPLS48 .746 .631MPLS51 .666 .591MPLS57 .720 .583MPLS60 .601 .421MPLS65 .637 .573MPLS66 .756 .504MPLS67 .685 .512MPLS73 .586 .484MPLS76 .748 .629MPLS86 .649 .479MPLS88 .616 .485MPLS98 .621 .427

MPLS101 .775 .651MPLS108 .694 .576MPLS109 .589 .396MPLS116 .555 .469MPLS117 .560 .395MPLS120 .774 .739MPLS124 .807 .795MPLS125 .689 .525MPLS126 .727 .651MPLS131 .743 .669MPLS134 .781 .675

255

MPLS138 .629 .426MPLS140 .757 .687MPLS143 .636 .490MPLS153 .674 .673

Extraction Method: Maximum Likelihood.

Goodness-of-fit Test Chi-

Squaredf Sig.

1275.703 738 .000

Scree Plot

Factor Number

4037343128252219161310741

Eige

nval

ue

30

20

10

0

Scree Plot

Factor Number

4037343128252219161310741

Eige

nval

ue

30

20

10

0

Scree Plot

Factor Number

4037343128252219161310741

Eige

nval

ue

30

20

10

0

256

Pattern Matrix Factor

1 2 3MPLS26 .895 .134 -5.531E-02MPLS76 .840 -2.905E-02 .110MPLS43 .815 9.311E-02 -5.666E-02MPLS45 .793 5.359E-02 1.772E-03

MPLS134 .786 6.328E-03 -6.086E-02MPLS48 .784 -3.052E-02 1.143E-02MPLS41 .771 -8.565E-02 3.803E-03MPLS51 .743 -6.367E-02 1.972E-02MPLS67 .732 .105 -6.265E-02MPLS88 .694 .150 -.123

MPLS101 .682 -.197 4.385E-03MPLS138 .678 2.143E-02 2.242E-02

MPLS60 .668 -1.780E-02 4.829E-02MPLS20 .656 -2.190E-02 -3.737E-02MPLS66 .639 -7.661E-02 -3.873E-02

MPLS143 .615 -.222 9.859E-02MPLS33 .592 -.136 -7.421E-02MPLS98 .574 -.126 -9.158E-04

MPLS109 .552 4.444E-02 -.151mature

passionate love scale

1

.548 -.157 -3.427E-02

MPLS39 .541 -8.353E-02 -.120MPLS117 .535 -9.953E-02 -4.757E-02

MPLS9 .488 -.121 -7.684E-02MPLS124 7.568E-02 -.830 -2.729E-02

MPLS38 .211 -.706 6.902E-02MPLS108 .167 -.672 3.060E-02

MPLS86 -.138 -.654 -.173MPLS116 -9.498E-02 -.628 -.167

MPLS42 .138 -.595 -2.592E-02MPLS65 .138 -.535 -.185MPLS57 .270 -.518 -8.197E-02MPLS46 .298 -.501 -.122

MPLS140 .322 -.465 -.176MPLS18 3.445E-03 -.461 -.302

MPLS153 -6.667E-03 2.015E-02 -.836MPLS120 -4.126E-02 -.148 -.790MPLS126 .186 .141 -.762MPLS131 -2.619E-02 -.165 -.726MPLS125 4.862E-02 -6.666E-02 -.651

MPLS6 .122 -.158 -.595MPLS73 8.470E-02 -.121 -.559MPLS21 .338 -3.847E-02 -.504

Extraction Method: Maximum Likelihood. Rotation Method: Oblimin with Kaiser Normalization. a Rotation converged in 9 iterations.

257

Structure Matrix Factor

1 2 3MPLS26 .854 -.403 -.526

MPLS134 .820 -.472 -.540MPLS41 .817 -.518 -.521MPLS43 .797 -.399 -.502MPLS48 .794 -.465 -.488

MPLS101 .790 -.579 -.532MPLS76 .789 -.436 -.423MPLS51 .767 -.470 -.475MPLS45 .761 -.392 -.453MPLS33 .714 -.513 -.519MPLS67 .711 -.344 -.450MPLS66 .705 -.459 -.477MPLS20 .692 -.414 -.454MPLS88 .685 -.314 -.460

MPLS143 .679 -.509 -.411MPLS39 .662 -.460 -.502

mature passionate love scale

1

.657 -.486 -.464

MPLS138 .652 -.347 -.381MPLS60 .648 -.365 -.372MPLS98 .645 -.449 -.428

MPLS117 .620 -.429 -.435MPLS109 .620 -.356 -.463

MPLS9 .603 -.441 -.448MPLS124 .560 -.889 -.568

MPLS38 .565 -.783 -.480MPLS140 .692 -.751 -.651MPLS108 .527 -.748 -.472

MPLS46 .655 -.741 -.603MPLS65 .553 -.723 -.589MPLS57 .612 -.718 -.556MPLS42 .489 -.688 -.465MPLS86 .336 -.679 -.477

MPLS116 .361 -.673 -.482MPLS18 .448 -.642 -.578

MPLS120 .527 -.595 -.852MPLS153 .496 -.474 -.820MPLS131 .513 -.583 -.808MPLS126 .574 -.417 -.792

MPLS6 .576 -.581 -.764MPLS21 .670 -.529 -.735

MPLS125 .486 -.481 -.721MPLS73 .496 -.501 -.683

Extraction Method: Maximum Likelihood. Rotation Method: Oblimin with Kaiser Normalization. Factor Correlation Matrix

Factor 1 2 31 1.000 -.563 -.6142 -.563 1.000 .5953 -.614 .595 1.000

Extraction Method: Maximum Likelihood. Rotation Method: Oblimin with Kaiser Normalization.

258

APPENDIX F

Sample Comparisons

Most of the samples were very small (that is under 10 respondents) and did not form a big enough group for comparison. The snowball sample (N = 101) and the respondents from the Herald/Sun article (N = 62) were large enough to compare and the independent t-tests (see Table 40) showed significant differences between these sub-samples on two of the three derived factors. Clearly the samples were somewhat different with the Herald Sun sample being more passionate on average. This may have been in part because the Herald Sun respondents were exposed to media coverage which may have affected their responses about passionate love in general, and their ratings of their relationship in particular. Also the article invited participation from people who were still in love after many years. Hence the significant differences between sub-samples could possibly be because of method bias or socio-economic status differences. The Herald/Sun is a working class paper and the snowball sample was probably more middle class. (See section - relationship among the variables study one and the relationship of AMPL1 to demographic variables). Hence, having these different samples may have improved the representativeness of the data. Table 41 Sub-sample Bias Demonstrated on Passionate Love Factors with Means, Standard Deviations and Independent t-tests ____________________________________________________________________ Factors Snowball Herald/Sun t (df) (N = 97) (N = 62)

M SD M SD ____________________________________________________________________ Affectionate Engagement 4.71 .82 5.20 .58 -4.11*** (169) Eroticism 3.98 1.14 4.64 .92 -3.88*** (174) Transcendence 3.66 1.28 4.47 1.06 -4.24*** (174) AMPL 12.40 2.84 14.26 2.23 -4.30*** (167) ____________________________________________________________________ Note. *** p< .001, df = degrees of freedom. ____________________________________________________________________

259

APPENDIX G

Comparison of Qualitative Characteristics of Mature Passionate Love and AMPL1 items Table 42 Correspondence Between Qualitative Concepts of Mature Passionate Love Described in Qualitative Answers and Passionate Love Items _______________________________________________________________________________ Hypothesised Relationship Item # Number of Factor Characteristic (if any) respondents

endorsing this quality _______________________________________________________________________________ Affection Affection/Touching 1, 33, 41, 64, 92, 96 24

Love 3, 37, 48, 76 22 Romance 23, 139 2

Differ'n Respect -implied not stated explicitly none specific 48 Self sacrifice/putting partner first/giving 28, 62 15 Personal happiness /self esteem/contentment 15, 50, 109, 117 13 Allowing partner independence and space /allowing partner to develop 7, 75, 136 12 Personal independence /maturity items 35, 82, 141 7 Tolerance 8 7 Being yourself/allowing your partner to be themselves 129, 137 6 Grow/change 113 6 Unconditional love 89, 147 4 Acceptance of differences 54 3 Integrity none 3 Freedom none 2 Choosing to be loving 89 1 Not keeping a tally none 1 Lack of fear none 1 Wisdom none 1 Not demanding none 1 Not judging none 1

________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Table continued next page

260

Table 42 (continued) Correspondence Between Qualitative Concepts of Mature Passionate Love Described in Qualitative Answers and Passionate Love Items _______________________________________________________________________________ Hypothesised Relationship Item # Number of Factor Characteristic (if any) respondents

endorsing this quality _______________________________________________________________________________ Engagement Understanding 30, 60 29

Friendship 107, 143 23 To be there for each other /Awareness of each other's needs/consideration 45, 60, 143 21 Closeness/intimacy 106, 114 21 Time together/quality time involvement/companionship 9, 44 18 Caring 60, 105, 143 18 Commitment 105 12 Compassion/warmth/ devotedness/tenderness/liking 56 12 Comfort with each other none 12 Give and take/equality 60, 143 10 Patience/acceptance 80 9 Shared experience/activity /companionship 36, 51 8 Acts of love 13, 88, 123 3 Compromising/ accommodating one another's needs none 3 Conflict resolution /forgiveness none 3 Appreciation/sensitivity none 3 Relaxation none 3 Spontaneous none 3 Desire to please none 3 Acknowledging shortcomings /mistakes none 2 Agreed boundaries none 1 Adventure 20, 95 1 Gentleness none 1 Fighting and making up none 1

________________________________________________________________________________ Note: Table continued next page

261

Table 42 (continued) Correspondence Between Qualitative Concepts of Mature Passionate Love Described in Qualitative Answers and Passionate Love Items _______________________________________________________________________________ Hypothesised Relationship Item # Number of Factor Characteristic (if any) respondents

endorsing this quality _______________________________________________________________________________ Enthusiasm Humour/fun/joy/silliness

/play 127 19 Mutuality/mutual satisfaction /pleasing each other 118 12 Common Goals/Purpose /common values 4 8 Learning about each other 4, 29, 55, 79, 98, 134, 146, 7 /interest in each other 149 Passion/passion for life 70, 111, 119, 151 6 Enjoyment 12, 26, 119, 127 4

Eroticism Desire/attraction 27, 46, 49, 97, 108, 135 18 Good sex 2, 69, 104 11

Sexual generosity/ Having sex/having sex regularly/being sexual person 10, 24 6 Sexual communicativeness 18, 34, 38, 42, 61, 81, 85 5 /intimacy, 100, 112, 124, 132, 140 Sexual consideration 53 4 Sexual compatibility 57 3 Sensuality 77, 121, 128, 152 2 Acceptance of sexual difference 132 2 Sexual inventiveness 14, 65, 124 1 Loving sex none 1 Love of one's body none 1

Openness Trust 39, 43, 87 56 /trust Communication/talking

/listening 63, 67, 101, 114, 138 43 Honesty 11, 66, 90 23 Openness 66, 101 13 Faithfulness none 11 Responsibility/reliability /concern none 4 Security/safety none 3 Love for family none 1

Transc Joining of souls 19, 21, 78, 103, 115, 126, 3 /shared spiritual development 145

____________________________________________________________________________________

262

Table 42 (continued) Correspondence Between Qualitative Concepts of Mature Passionate Love Described in Qualitative Answers and Passionate Love Items _______________________________________________________________________________ Hypothesised Relationship Item # Number of Factor Characteristic (if any) respondents

endorsing this quality _______________________________________________________________________________ Misc safe sex none 1

no romantic ideals none 1 health none 1

_______________________________________________________________________________ Note. Differ'n = Differentiation Factor, Transc = Transcendence Factor, Misc = miscellaneous characteristics given in qualitative answers that didn't readily belong to hypothesized factors

263

APPENDIX H

Study Two Questionnaire

Key to scale names, author(s) and order Version 1 1. Attitudes to Spirituality (Woodward, current) 2. MPLS = Assessment of Mature Passionate Love (AMPL, Woodward, current) 3. Spiritual Transcendence Scale (Piedmont, 1999) 4. Dyadic Scale = Satisfaction sub-scale of the Dyadic Adjustment Scale (Spanier, 1976) 5. MC Attitudes = Shortened version of the Marlowe - Crowne social desirability scale (Reynolds, 1982) 6. Personality Questions = Eysenck's Personality Inventory (Eysenck & Eysenck, 1987) 7. Love Attitudes Scale (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1990) 8. PANAS = Positive and Negative Affect Scale (Watson et al., 1988) 9. BDLS = B and D Love Scale (Peterson, 1986) 10. Attitudes to Life = Well Being Scale (Ryff, 1989a) 11. Sexual Arousal Inventory (Hoon & Chambless, 1998) 12. WTS = Willingness to Sacrifice (Van Lange et al., 1997) 13. PLS = Passionate Love Scale (Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986) Version 2 Order of scales = 1, 2, 10, 13, 5, 7, 12, 3, 4, 6, 11, 8, 9

264

A study of passionate love This research investigates the nature of passionate love and the results may be useful for

counselling, marital programs and future research. I am inviting participation from one person in a couple who is currently in a romantic or intimate relationship (either heterosexual or homosexual). My name is Anne Woodward and this research is part of my doctoral thesis in counselling psychology at Swinburne University of Technology. Dr Bruce Findlay and Professor Susan Moore are supervising this project. I would really appreciate your participation in this study. If you choose to participate all your answers will remain as anonymous and confidential as possible. However it is very likely that the results of this research will be published in the future. Mostly group trends, rather than individual answers to questions will be reported. When I use qualitative information, I may want to include written answers to questions, then all identifying details will be altered or removed. It is understood that some of the questions are somewhat personal and your answers will be treated with respect. You are not obliged to participate and are free to withdraw at any time.

The questionnaire will probably take about three quarters of an hour. Although many questions may seem similar, it is important to answer all the questions as honestly as possible. Please do not spend too much time on any one question, your first response is probably the most accurate. When the questionnaire is finished please check to ensure you have not missed any questions. Sometimes a question may appear to overlook your special circumstances. If this is the case, make the best responses you can and add comments if none of the printed responses describe how you feel or if they do not fit your situation.

If you are willing to be involved again I need volunteers who are willing to do a small section of this questionnaire in about six weeks. This will only take about ten minutes to complete. In order to be involved in this you would need to give me a first name and contact address (postal or e-mail) and I will send a further small questionnaire to you in about six weeks. Because this process will involve giving contact details it is important to volunteer for this task only if you feel comfortable doing so. Once the two questionnaires are matched, all identifying information will be removed from the questionnaire. Contact name and address……………………………………… ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… To return the questionnaire, seal the envelope and send by reply paid post. To return the questionnaire, seal the envelope and send by reply paid post. ----------------------------------------------cut here---------------------------------------------------------------- If this research raises issues for you about your relationship which you would like to discuss with a counsellor, the following possibilities are offered: d) ring Lifeline (131114) for telephone counselling e) ring the Swinburne Centre for Psychological Services for face to face counselling 9214 8653 f) ring a Relationships Australia branch for face to face counselling at Kew on 9261 8700, Croydon

9725 9964, Narre Warren 9704 7788, Sunshine 9364 9033, Preston 9484 9775, Eltham 9431 1333 The findings of this research will be available in about a year and if you would like to know the results or if you have any queries or concerns about this study please contact Dr Bruce Findlay, Department of Psychology, telephone 9214 8093 or Anne Woodward, telephone 9459 1167. If any concerns remain, or you have any complaints about the way you have been treated, you should write to The Chair, Human Research Ethics Committee, Swinburne University of Technology, PO Box 218, Hawthorn, Vic, 3122. Your time and participation are very much appreciated.

265

BACKGROUND INFORMATION Gender: 1. Female. 2. Male (Please Circle)

Age ..........

Length of current relationship .......……………………………….…………………………………..

Number of marriages ........…………………………………………………………………………...

Number of children ........……………………………………………………………………………..

Age of children .....................................................……………….…………………………………..

Occupation ……………………………………………………………………………………………

Hours worked per week ......................................…………………………………………………….

Country of birth ......................................……………………………………………………………..

Country of birth of father and mother................................................…………………………………

Language/s spoken at home…………………………………………………………………………...

Is your place of residence (Please Circle) 1.Urban 2. Rural 3. A mixture of urban and rural

Please give state and country of residence…………………………………………………………….

Please circle the answer or answers that applies to you:

Marital status: 1 Married

3 Living together, not married

Is your intimate relationship: 1 Heterosexual 2 Homosexual

Education Level: 1 Did not complete high school

2 Completed high school

3 Undertook skilled on the job training

4 Commenced trade qualification

5 Completed trade qualification

6 Commenced tertiary qualification

7 Completed tertiary qualification

8 Commenced post graduate studies

9 Completed post graduate studies

266

ATTITUDES TO SPIRITUALITY

The following questions concern your attitude towards spirituality. Please interpret the term "God or Higher Power" in a way that is consistent with your understanding of spirituality. That is, if you believe more in the Universal Self, Spirit, Tao or void (in the Buddhist sense) please use that spiritual understanding where the words "God or Higher Power" are written.

Please mark the following items to indicate to what extent you believe the following statement is true of

you, where

1 = Very untrue of me 2 = Untrue of me 3 = Somewhat untrue of me 4 = Somewhat true of me 5 = True of me 6 = Very true of me

1. I believe in God or a Higher Power. 1 2 3 4 5 6

2. I follow a particular faith. 1 2 3 4 5 6

3. I regularly attend church or an equivalent. 1 2 3 4 5 6

4. Belief in God or a Higher Power is very important to me. 1 2 3 4 5 6

5. I engage in some form of prayer, meditation, communion or 1 2 3 4 5 6

conversation with God or Higher Power.

6. My belief in God or Higher Power is a comfort to me. 1 2 3 4 5 6

7. I think of God or Higher Power often. 1 2 3 4 5 6

8. I feel the need to please God or the Higher Power. 1 2 3 4 5 6

9. I enjoy contemplating the nature or God or Higher Power and the

purpose of existence. 1 2 3 4 5 6

10. I have found my own personal way of approaching God or

the Higher Power. 1 2 3 4 5 6

11. I read Holy Scriptures often. 1 2 3 4 5 6

12. I am careful to follow religious or spiritual principles in my life. 1 2 3 4 5 6

13. I see God or The Higher Power as loving and caring 1 2 3 4 5 6

Please indicate if you belong to a particular denomination and if so which one is it?

...................................................

How often do you attend your place of worship? ...................................

How often do you pray, meditate or commune with God or the Higher Power? ...............

267

MPLS

To what extent do you feel the following statements are true of you and your intimate relationship:

1= Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Slightly Disagree 4 = Slightly Agree 5 = Agree 6 = Strongly Agree

1. I make time for my relationship even if I am busy 1 2 3 4 5 6

2. My partner's habits are perfect 1 2 3 4 5 6

3. My strength enhances my relationship 1 2 3 4 5 6

4. My partner is so fascinating it will take me a lifetime to know him/her

completely 1 2 3 4 5 6

5. I feel comfortable suggesting new ways of making love to my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

6. I can reveal my innermost thoughts and feelings to my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

7. I like to show affection to my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

8. During sex I sometimes experience that the boundaries between my partner

and I blur 1 2 3 4 5 6

9. I get sexually excited thinking about my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

10. My partner and I do exciting things together 1 2 3 4 5 6

11. I always remain calm and open if we disagree 1 2 3 4 5 6

12. I try to take care of myself so I can be more loving 1 2 3 4 5 6

13. I am eager to learn more about my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

14. I feel free to tell my partner what I am thinking when we are having sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

15. I show my partner who I really am 1 2 3 4 5 6

16. My partner and I kiss, hug and hold one another often 1 2 3 4 5 6

17. I sometimes experience that my beloved and I are made of the same essence 1 2 3 4 5 6

18. I feel open to what my partner wants sexually 1 2 3 4 5 6

19. I show my partner how much I love him/her in the little things I do 1 2 3 4 5 6

20. My partner is perfect 1 2 3 4 5 6

21. I remain true to myself in my relationship 1 2 3 4 5 6

22. Getting to know my partner is a wonderful process 1 2 3 4 5 6

23. When we are away from one another I fantasize about having sex with

my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

24. I feel that I have endless things to talk about with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

268

To what extent do you feel the following statements are true of you and your intimate relationship:

1= Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Slightly Disagree 4 = Slightly Agree 5 = Agree 6 = Strongly Agree

25. I sometimes experience a profoundly beautiful quietness during sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

26. I find my partner's sensual touch thrilling 1 2 3 4 5 6

27. I love to share my interests with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

28. I think our relationship has been problem free 1 2 3 4 5 6

29. I tell my partner what is important to me even if he/she disagrees 1 2 3 4 5 6

30. I ask my partner what he/she does and cares about 1 2 3 4 5 6

31. I think our sex life is great 1 2 3 4 5 6

32. I can talk with my partner for hours and hours 1 2 3 4 5 6

33. I feel an overwhelming rush of affection for my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

34. I experience that time stops during sex sometimes 1 2 3 4 5 6

35. There are still new things that my partner and I find to do when we make love 1 2 3 4 5 6

36. When my partner is under stress I try to understand his/her experience 1 2 3 4 5 6

37. Our relationship has been perfectly harmonious 1 2 3 4 5 6

38. I feel acceptable to my partner because I am acceptable to myself 1 2 3 4 5 6

39. My vitality is expressed in my loving 1 2 3 4 5 6

40. I feel very comfortable telling my partner what will increase my pleasure

when we make love (things like: softer, harder, slower, to the left etc.) 1 2 3 4 5 6

41. I am happy to show my fears and struggles to my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

42. I really adore my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

43. There are times during sex when I feel utter ecstasy, completely

transported as though time has stopped 1 2 3 4 5 6

44. I can luxuriate in my partner's sensual touch 1 2 3 4 5 6

45. I try to reach out to my partner when he/she is unhappy or overwhelmed 1 2 3 4 5 6

46. I think of my partner positively at all times 1 2 3 4 5 6

47. I see my partner as he/she is 1 2 3 4 5 6

48. I love with so much energy 1 2 3 4 5 6

49. I feel free to share fantasies with my partner during sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

50. During sex I sometimes experience a deep sense of merging with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

269

To what extent do you feel the following statements are true of you and your intimate relationship:

1= Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Slightly Disagree 4 = Slightly Agree 5 = Agree 6 = Strongly Agree

51. I like to look deeply into my partner's eyes during sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

52. At times I am so moved by our love making that I cry or feel like crying 1 2 3 4 5 6

53. I feel that in troubled times I can count on my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

54. My partner and I speak pleasantly to each other at all times 1 2 3 4 5 6

55. I believe that to really love my partner I must understand myself 1 2 3 4 5 6

56. I think my relationship with my partner is fantastic 1 2 3 4 5 6

57. I get playful when we have sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

58. I feel confident about the strength of my relationship 1 2 3 4 5 6

59. I feel very tender towards my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

60. I currently have sex, or some form of sexual contact with my partner 1 2 3 4 5 6

61. There have been times when I feel as though my partner and I are one 1 2 3 4 5 6

62. I like to take time over sex 1 2 3 4 5 6

SPIRITUAL TRANSCENDENCE SCALE

Please mark the following items to indicate to what extent you believe the following statement is true of

you, where

1 = Very untrue of me 2 = Untrue of me 3 = Somewhat untrue of me 4 = Somewhat true of me 5 = True of me 6 = Very true of me

1. Although dead, images of some of my relatives continue to influence my current life

1 2 3 4 5 6

2. I meditate and/or pray so that I can reach a higher spiritual plane of consciousness

1 2 3 4 5 6

3. I have had at least one peak experience 1 2 3 4 5 6

4. I feel that on a higher level all of us share a common bond 1 2 3 4 5 6

5. All life is interconnected 1 2 3 4 5 6

270

Please mark the following items to indicate to what extent you believe the following statement is true of

you, where

1 = Very untrue of me 2 = Untrue of me 3 = Somewhat untrue of me 4 = Somewhat true of me 5 = True of me 6 = Very true of me 6. There is a higher plane of consciousness or spirituality that binds all people 1 2 3 4 5 6

7. It is important for me to give something back to my community 1 2 3 4 5 6

8. I am a link in the chain of my family's heritage, a bridge between past and future

1 2 3 4 5 6

9. I am concerned about those who will come after me in life 1 2 3 4 5 6

10. I have been able to step outside of my ambitions and failures, pain and joy, to experience a larger

sense of fulfillment 1 2 3 4 5 6

11. Although individual people may be difficult, I feel an emotional bond with all humanity

1 2 3 4 5 6

12. I still have strong emotional ties with someone who has died 1 2 3 4 5 6

13. I believe there is a larger meaning to life 1 2 3 4 5 6

14. I find inner strength and/or peace from my prayers or meditations 1 2 3 4 5 6

15. I believe that death is a doorway to another plane of existence 1 2 3 4 5 6

16. I believe there is a larger plan to life 1 2 3 4 5 6

17. Sometimes I find the details of my life to be a distraction from my prayers and/or meditations

1 2 3 4 5 6

18. When in prayer or meditation, I have become oblivious of the events of the world

1 2 3 4 5 6

19. I have experienced deep fulfillment and bliss through my prayers or meditations

1 2 3 4 5 6

20. I have had a spiritual experience where I lost track of where I was or the passage of time

1 2 3 4 5 6

21. The desires of my body do not keep me from my prayers or meditations 1 2 3 4 5 6

22. Although there is good and bad in people, I believe that humanity as a whole is basically good

1 2 3 4 5 6

23. There is an order to the universe that transcends human thinking 1 2 3 4 5 6

24. I believe that on some level my life is intimately tied to all of humankind 1 2 3 4 5 6

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DYADIC SCALE

Participants are asked to answer how much of the time the following statement is true for you where:

0 = Never 1 = Rarely 2 = Occasionally 3 = More often than not 4 = Most of the time 5 = All the time

1 How often do you discuss or have you considered divorce, separation, or terminating your

relationship? 0 1 2 3 4 5

2 How often do you or your mate leave the house after a fight? 0 1 2 3 4 5

3. In general, how often do you think that things between you and your partner are going well?

0 1 2 3 4 5

4. Do you confide in your mate? 0 1 2 3 4 5

5. Do you ever regret that you married (or lived together)? 0 1 2 3 4 5

6. How often do you and your partner quarrel? 0 1 2 3 4 5

7. How often do you and your mate "get on each other's nerves"? 0 1 2 3 4 5

Please answer how often you behave as described where

0 = Never, 1 = Rarely, 2 = Occasionally, 3 = Almost every day, 4 = Every day 8. Do you kiss your mate? 0 1 2 3 4

9. The dots on the following line represent different degrees of happiness in your relationship. The

middle point, "happy" represents the degree of happiness in most relationships. Please circle the dot

which best described the degree of happiness, all things considered of your relationship.

* * * * * * *

Extremely Fairly A little Happy Very Extremely Perfect

unhappy unhappy unhappy happy happy

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10. Which of the following statements best describes how you feel about the future of your relationship?

___ I want desperately for my relationship to succeed, and would go to almost any length to see that it

does

___ I want very much for my relationship to succeed, and will do all I can to see that it does

___ I want very much for my relationship to succeed, and will do my fair share to see that it does

___ It would be nice if my relationship succeeded, but I can't do much more than I am doing now to help

it succeed

___ It would be nice if it succeeded, but I refuse to do any more than I am now doing to keep the

relationship going

___ My relationship can never succeed, and there is no more that I can do to keep the relationship going

MC ATTITUDES

For each of the statements below, please indicate whether they are true or false as a description of your-

self. (circle one)

1. It is sometimes hard for me to go on with my work if I am not encouraged TRUE FALSE

2. I sometimes feel resentful when I don't get my way. TRUE FALSE

3. On a few occasions, I have given up doing something because I thought too little of my ability

TRUE FALSE

4. There have been times when I felt like rebelling against people in authority even though I knew they

were right TRUE FALSE

5. No matter who I am talking to, I’m always a good listener. TRUE FALSE

6. There have been occasions when I took advantage of someone. TRUE FALSE

7. I am always willing to admit it when I make a mistake. TRUE FALSE

8. I sometimes try to get even rather than forgive and forget. TRUE FALSE

9. I am always courteous, even to people who are disagreeable. TRUE FALSE

10. I have never been irked when people express ideas very different from my own

TRUE FALSE

11. There have been times when I have been quite jealous of the good fortune of others.

TRUE FALSE

12. I am sometimes irritated by people who ask favours of me. TRUE FALSE

13. I have never deliberately said something that hurt someone's feelings. TRUE FALSE

273

PERSONALITY QUESTIONS Instructions: Here are some questions regarding the way you behave, feel and act. After each question is a choice of answering "YES" or "NO". Try to decide whether "YES" or "NO" represents your usual way of acting or feeling. Then circle either "YES" or "NO". Work quickly, and don't spend too much time over any question; we want your first reaction, not a long-drawn out thought process. The whole questionnaire shouldn't take more than a few minutes. Be sure not to omit any questions. Work quickly, and remember to answer every question. There are no right or wrong answers, and this isn't a test of intelligence or ability, but simply a measure of the way you behave. 1. Do you often long for excitement? . . . . . Yes / No 2. Do you often need understanding friends to cheer you up? . Yes / No 3. Are you usually carefree? . . . . . . Yes / No 4. Do you find it very hard to take no for an answer? . . . Yes / No 5. Do you stop and think things over before doing anything? . Yes / No 6. If you say you will do something do you always keep your promise, no matter how inconvenient it might be to do so? . . ` Yes / No 7. Does your mood often go up and down? . . . . Yes / No 8. Do you generally do and say things quickly without stopping to think? Yes / No 9. Do you ever feel "just miserable" for no good reason? . . Yes / No 10. Would you do almost anything for a dare? . . . Yes / No 11. Do you suddenly feel shy when you want to talk to an attractive stranger? Yes / No 12. Once in a while do you lose your temper and get angry? . . Yes / No 13. Do you often do things on the spur of the moment? . . Yes / No 14. Do you often worry about things you should not have done or said? Yes / No 15. Generally, do you prefer reading to meeting people? . . Yes / No 16. Are your feelings rather easily hurt? . . . . Yes / No 17. Do you like going out a lot? . . . . . Yes / No 18. Do you occasionally have thoughts and ideas that you would not like other people to know about? . . . . . Yes / No 19. Are you sometimes bubbling over with energy and sometimes very sluggish? Yes / No 20. Do you prefer to have few but special friends? . . . Yes / No 21. Do you daydream a lot? . . . . . . Yes / No 22. When people shout at you, do you shout back? . . . Yes / No 23. Are you often troubled about feelings of guilt? . . . Yes / No 24. Are all your habits good and desirable ones? . . Yes / No 25. Can you usually let yourself go and enjoy yourself a lot at a lively party? Yes / No 26. Would you call yourself tense or "highly-strung"? . . Yes / No 27. Do other people think of you as being very lively? . . Yes / No 28. After you have done something important, do you often come away feeling you could have done better? . . Yes/ No 29. Are you mostly quiet when you are with other people? . Yes / No 30. Do you sometimes gossip? . . . . Yes / No

274

31. Do ideas run through your head so that you cannot sleep? Yes / No 32. If there is something you want to know about, would you rather look it up in a book than talk to someone about it? . . Yes / No 33. Do you get palpitations or thumping in your heart? . Yes / No 34. Do you like the kind of work that you need to pay close attention to? Yes / No 35. Do you get attacks of shaking or trembling? . . Yes / No 36. Would you always declare everything at the customs, even if you knew that you could never be found out? . . . Yes / No 37. Do you hate being with a crowd who play jokes on one another? Yes / No 38. Are you an irritable person? . . . Yes / No 39. Do you like doing things in which you have to act quickly? Yes / No 40. Do you worry about awful things that might happen? . . Yes/ No 41. Are you slow and unhurried in the way you move? . Yes / No 42. Have you ever been late for an appointment or work? . . Yes / No 43. Do you have many nightmares? . . . . . Yes / No 44. Do you like talking to people so much that you never miss a chance of talking to a stranger? . . . . . Yes / No 45. Are you troubled by aches and pains? . . . Yes / No 46. Would you be very unhappy if you could not see lots of people most of the time? . . . . . . . Yes / No 47. Would you call yourself a nervous person? . . . Yes / No 48. Of all the people you know, are there some whom you definitely do not like? . . . . . . Yes / No 49. Would you say that you were fairly self-confident? . Yes / No 50. Are you easily hurt when people find fault with you or your work? Yes / No 51. Do you find it hard to really enjoy yourself at a lively party? Yes / No 52. Are you troubled with feelings of inferiority? . . Yes / No 53. Can you easily get some life into a rather dull party? . Yes / No 54. Do you sometimes talk about things you know nothing about? . Yes / No 55. Do you worry about your health? . . . . . Yes / No 56. Do you like playing pranks on others? . . . . Yes / No 57. Do you suffer from sleeplessness? . . . .. Yes / No

LOVE ATTITUDE SCALE

Please circle the extent to which you agree with the following statements:

1 = Strongly disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Not sure 4 = Agree 5 = Strongly agree

1. My partner and I were attracted to one another immediately after we first met 1 2 3 4 5

275

Please circle the extent to which you agree with the following statements:

1 = Strongly disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Not sure 4 = Agree 5 = Strongly agree

2. My partner and I have the right physical 'chemistry' between us 1 2 3 4 5

3. Our lovemaking is very intense and satisfying 1 2 3 4 5

4. I feel that my partner and I were meant for each other 1 2 3 4 5

5. My partner and I became emotionally involved rather quickly 1 2 3 4 5

6. My partner and I really understand each other 1 2 3 4 5

7. My partner fits my ideal standards of physical beauty/handsomeness 1 2 3 4 5

8. I try to keep my partner a little uncertain about my commitment to him/her 1 2 3 4 5

9. I believe that what my partner doesn't know about me won't hurt him/her 1 2 3 4 5

10. I have sometimes had to keep my partner from finding out about other lovers 1 2 3 4 5

11. I could get over my love affair with my partner pretty easily and quickly 1 2 3 4 5

12. My partner would get upset if he/she knew some of the things I've done with other people

1 2 3 4 5

13. When my partner gets too dependent on me, I want to back off a little 1 2 3 4 5

14. I enjoy playing the 'game of love' with my partner and a number of other lovers

1 2 3 4 5

15. It is hard for me to say exactly when our friendship turned into love 1 2 3 4 5

16. To be genuine, our love first required caring for a while 1 2 3 4 5

17. I expect to always be friends with my partner 1 2 3 4 5

18. Our love is the best kind because it grew out of a long friendship 1 2 3 4 5

19. Our friendship merged gradually into love over time 1 2 3 4 5

20. Our love is really a deep friendship, not a mysterious, mystic emotion 1 2 3 4 5

21. Our love relationship is the most satisfying because it developed from a good friendship

1 2 3 4 5

22. I considered what my partner was going to become in life before I committed myself to him/her

1 2 3 4 5

23. I tried to plan my life carefully before choosing my partner 1 2 3 4 5

24. In choosing my partner, I believed it was best to love someone with a similar background

1 2 3 4 5

276

Please circle the extent to which you agree with the following statements:

1 = Strongly disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Not sure 4 = Agree 5 = Strongly agree

25. A main consideration when I chose my partner was how he/she would reflect on my family

1 2 3 4 5

26. An important factor in choosing my partner was whether or not he/she would be a good parent

1 2 3 4 5

27. One consideration in choosing my partner was how he/she would reflect on my career

1 2 3 4 5

28. Before getting involved with my partner, I tried to figure our how compatible his/her hereditary

background would be with mine in case we have children 1 2 3 4 5

29. When things aren't right with my partner and me, my stomach gets upset 1 2 3 4 5

30. If my partner and I break up, I would get so depressed that I would even think of suicide

1 2 3 4 5

31. Sometimes I get so excited about being in love that I can't sleep 1 2 3 4 5

32. When my lover doesn't pay attention to me I feel sick all over 1 2 3 4 5

33. Since I have been in love with my partner I have trouble concentrating on anything else

1 2 3 4 5

34. I cannot relax if I suspect that my partner is with someone else 1 2 3 4 5

35. If my partner ignores me for a while, I sometimes do stupid things to get his/her attention back

1 2 3 4 5

36. I try to always help my partner through difficult times 1 2 3 4 5

37. I would rather suffer myself that let my partner suffer 1 2 3 4 5

38. I cannot be happy unless I place my partner's happiness before my own 1 2 3 4 5

39. I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let my partner achieve his/hers

1 2 3 4 5

40. Whatever I own is my partner's to use as he/she chooses 1 2 3 4 5

41. When my partner gets angry with me, I still love him/her fully and unconditionally

1 2 3 4 5

42. I would endure anything for the sake of my partner 1 2 3 4 5

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PANAS

This scale consists of a number of words that describe different feelings and emotions. Read each item

and then mark the appropriate answer in the space next to that word. Indicate to what extent you

generally feel this way, that is, how you feel on the average. Use the following scale to record your

answers.

1 = very slightly or not at all 2 = a little 3 = moderately 4 = quite a bit 5 = very much

Enthusiastic 1 2 3 4 5

Interested 1 2 3 4 5

Determined 1 2 3 4 5

Excited 1 2 3 4 5

Inspired 1 2 3 4 5

Alert 1 2 3 4 5

Active 1 2 3 4 5

Strong 1 2 3 4 5

Proud 1 2 3 4 5

Attentive 1 2 3 4 5

Scared 1 2 3 4 5

Afraid 1 2 3 4 5

Upset 1 2 3 4 5

Distressed 1 2 3 4 5

Jittery 1 2 3 4 5

Nervous 1 2 3 4 5

Ashamed 1 2 3 4 5

Guilty 1 2 3 4 5

Irritable 1 2 3 4 5

Hostile 1 2 3 4 5

278

BDLS Please mark the following items to indicate to what extent you believe the following statement is

true of you, where

1 = Very untrue of me 2 = Untrue of me 3 = Somewhat untrue of me 4 = Somewhat true of me 5 = True of me 6 = Very true of me 1. I am as proud of my lover's triumphs as of my own 1 2 3 4 5 6

2. When my lover is not with me I yearn for his/her presence 1 2 3 4 5 6

3. My sexual relationship with my lover is very important to me 1 2 3 4 5 6

4. My lover's physical beauty is very important to me 1 2 3 4 5 6

5. Keeping my lover relationship fun, humorous and spontaneous is very important to me

1 2 3 4 5 6

6. I would continue to love my lover just as much, even if he/she no longer loved me

1 2 3 4 5 6

7. I would find it very hard to cope with a long separation from my lover 1 2 3 4 5 6

8.I would not alter the slightest thing about my lover even if I had the power to do so

1 2 3 4 5 6

9. I rely on my lover for support when I am feeling bad 1 2 3 4 5 6

10. I find that my lover grows ever more interesting to me the longer I am with him/her

1 2 3 4 5 6

11. I find that I can usually feel satisfied with myself, regardless of what my lover thinks of me

1 2 3 4 5 6

12. Many of the things my lover does make me feel jealous 1 2 3 4 5 6

13. I need solitude and privacy, even from my lover 1 2 3 4 5 6

14. I find it easy to switch places with my lover (i.e. being the leader, the strong one, the initiator of

intercourse sometimes, and the follower, the weak one and the passive sex partner at other times)

1 2 3 4 5 6

15. I often worry that my lover may someday cease to love me 1 2 3 4 5 6

16. I feel greatly distressed when my lover is disappointed in me or criticises something I have done

1 2 3 4 5 6

17. I can readily accept the fact that my lover loves others besides me. I do not worry how I compare to

them 1 2 3 4 5 6

18. When either of us gets sick or gets heavily involved in some job the other can't share, it cause a

strain in our love relationship 1 2 3 4 5 6

279

ATTITUDES TO LIFE Below is a list of statements. Please look at each one in turn, and indicate by circling the appropriate number, the extent to which you believe each is true for you. 1= Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Slightly Disagree 4 = Slightly Agree 5 = Agree 6 = Strongly Agree

1. I am not afraid to voice my opinions, even when they are in opposition to the opinions of most people

1 2 3 4 5 6

2. In general, I feel I am in charge of the situation in which I live 1 2 3 4 5 6

3. I am not interested in activities that will expand my horizons 1 2 3 4 5 6

4. Most people see me as loving and affectionate 1 2 3 4 5 6

5. I live life one day at a time and don't really think about the future 1 2 3 4 5 6

6. When I look at the story of my life, I am pleased with how things have turned out 1 2 3 4 5 6

7. My decisions are not usually influenced by what everyone else is doing 1 2 3 4 5 6

8 The demands of everyday life often get me down 1 2 3 4 5 6

9. I don't want to try new ways of doing things - my life is fine the way it is 1 2 3 4 5 6

10. Maintaining close relationships has been difficult and frustrating for me 1 2 3 4 5 6

11. I tend to focus on the present, because the future nearly always brings me problems 1 2 3 4 5 6

12. In general I feel confident and positive about myself 1 2 3 4 5 6

13. I tend to worry about what other people think of me 1 2 3 4 5 6

14. I do not fit very well with the people and the community around me 1 2 3 4 5 6

15. I think it is important is have new experiences that challenge how you think about yourself

and the world 1 2 3 4 5 6

16. I often feel lonely because I have few close friends with whom to share my concern 1 2 3 4 5 6

17. My daily activities often seem trivial and unimportant to me 1 2 3 4 5 6

18. I feel like many of the people I know have gotten more out of life than I have 1 2 3 4 5 6

18. Being happy with myself is more important to me than having others approve of me 1 2 3 4 5 6

19. I am quite good at managing the many responsibilities of my daily life 1 2 3 4 5 6

21. When I think about it, I haven't really improved much as a person over the years 1 2 3 4 5 6

22. I enjoy personal and mutual conversations with family members or friends 1 2 3 4 5 6

23. I don't have a good sense of what it is I'm trying to accomplish in life 1 2 3 4 5 6

24. I like most aspects of my personality 1 2 3 4 5 6

25. I tend to be influenced by people with strong opinions 1 2 3 4 5 6

26. I often feel overwhelmed by my responsibilities 1 2 3 4 5 6

27. I have the sense that I have developed a lot as a person over time 1 2 3 4 5 6

280

Below is a list of statements. Please look at each one in turn, and indicate by circling the appropriate number, the extent to which you believe each is true for you. 1= Strongly Disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Slightly Disagree 4 = Slightly Agree 5 = Agree 6 = Strongly Agree

28. I don't have many people who want to listen when I need to talk 1 2 3 4 5 6

29. I used to set goals for myself, but that now seems like a waste of time 1 2 3 4 5 6

30. I made some mistakes in the past, but I feel that all in all everything has worked out for the best

1 2 3 4 5 6

31. I have confidence in my opinions, even if they are contrary to the general consensus 1 2 3 4 5 6

32. I generally do a good job of taking care of my personal finances and affairs 1 2 3 4 5 6

33. I do not enjoy being in new situations that require me to change my old familiar ways of doing things

1 2 3 4 5 6

34. It seems to me that most other people have more friends than I do 1 2 3 4 5 6

35. I enjoy making plans for the future and working to make them a reality 1 2 3 4 5 6

36. In many ways, I feel disappointed about my achievements in life 1 2 3 4 5 6

SEXUAL AROUSAL INVENTORY Read each item carefully, then circle the number which indicates how sexually aroused you feel when you have the described experience or how sexually aroused you think you would fell if you actually experienced it. 0 = Adverse affects arousal; unthinkable, repulsive, distracting 1 = Doesn't affect sexual arousal 2 = Possibly causes sexual arousal 3 = Sometimes causes sexual arousal; : slightly arousing 4 = Usually causes sexual arousal; moderately arousing 5 = Almost always sexually arousing; very arousing 6 = Always causes sexual arousal; extremely arousing 1. When a loved one stimulates your genitals with mouth or tongue 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

2. When a loved one fondles you breasts with his/her hands 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

3. When a loved one stimulates your genitals with his/her finger 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

4. When you are touched or kissed on the inner thighs by a loved one 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

5. When a loved one undresses you 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

6. When you dance with a loved one 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

7. When you have intercourse with a loved one 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

281

Read each item carefully, then circle the number which indicates how sexually aroused you feel which indicates how sexually aroused you feel when you have the described experience or how sexually aroused you think you would fell if you actually experienced it. 0 = Adverse affects arousal; unthinkable, repulsive, distracting 1 = Doesn't affect sexual arousal 2 = Possibly causes sexual arousal 3 = Sometimes causes sexual arousal; : slightly arousing 4 = Usually causes sexual arousal; moderately arousing 5 = Almost always sexually arousing; very arousing 6 = Always causes sexual arousal; extremely arousing

8. When a loved one touches or kisses your nipples 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

9. When you see pornographic pictures or slides 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

10. When you lie in bed with a loved one 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

11. When a loved one kisses you passionately 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

12. When a loved one kisses you with an exploring tongue 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

13.When you read suggestive or pornographic poetry 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

14. When you make love in a new or unusual place 0 1 2 3 4 5 6

WTS

On the following four lines, please list the four parts of your life - the four activities in your life that are

most important to you (other than your relationship).

The most important activities in my life (other than my relationship) are:

Most important activity is: ___________________________________________

Second most important activity is ____________________________________________

Third most important activity is ____________________________________________

Fourth most important activity is ____________________________________________

282

1. Imagine that it was not possible to engage in Activity 1 and maintain your relationship (impossible

for reasons unrelated to your partner's needs or wishes; that is it wasn't your partner's fault). To what

extent would you consider giving up Activity 1?

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Definitely would not Might consider Would definitely

consider giving up giving up activity consider giving up

activity activity

2. Imagine that it was not possible to engage in Activity 2 and maintain your relationship (impossible

for reasons unrelated to your partner's needs or wishes; that is it wasn't your partner's fault). To what

extent would you consider giving up Activity 2?

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Definitely would not Might consider Would definitely

consider giving up giving up activity consider giving up

activity activity

3. Imagine that it was not possible to engage in Activity 3 and maintain your relationship (impossible

for reasons unrelated to your partner's needs or wishes; that is it wasn't your partner's fault). To what

extent would you consider giving up Activity 3?

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Definitely would not Might consider Would definitely

consider giving up giving up activity consider giving up

activity activity

283

4. Imagine that it was not possible to engage in Activity 4 and maintain your relationship (impossible

for reasons unrelated to your partner's needs or wishes; that is it wasn't your partner's fault). To what

extent would you consider giving up Activity 4?

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Definitely would not Might consider Would definitely

consider giving up giving up activity consider giving up

activity activity

PLS

Please rate the following statements according to how true they are for you where 1 = Not at all true 2 = Slightly true 3 = Somewhat true 4 = True 5 = Definitely true

1. I would feel deep despair if my partner left me 1 2 3 4 5

2. Sometimes I feel I can't control my thoughts; they are obsessively on my partner

1 2 3 4 5

3. I feel happy when I am doing something to make my partner happy 1 2 3 4 5

4. I would rather be with my partner than anyone else 1 2 3 4 5

5. I'd get jealous if I thought my partner were falling in love with anyone else 1 2 3 4 5

6. I yearn to know all about my partner 1 2 3 4 5

7. I want my partner - physically, emotionally and mentally 1 2 3 4 5

8. I have an endless appetite for affection from my partner 1 2 3 4 5

9. For me, my mate is the perfect romantic partner 1 2 3 4 5

10. I sense my body responding when my partner touches me 1 2 3 4 5

11. My partner always seems to be on my mind 1 2 3 4 5

12. I want my partner to know me - my thoughts , my fears, and my hopes 1 2 3 4 5

13. I eagerly look for signs indicating my partner's desire for me 1 2 3 4 5

284

Please rate the following statements according to how true they are for you where 1 = Not at all true 2 = Slightly true 3 = Somewhat true 4 = True 5 = Definitely true

14. I possess a powerful attraction for my partner 1 2 3 4 5

15. I get extremely depressed when things don't go right in my relationship with my partner

1 2 3 4 5

OPTIONAL QUESTION ON PEAK EXPERIENCES:

Have you ever had a peak experience in a love relationship, for example: an experience of profound

oneness, incredibly intense joy during sexual contact or arising from loving your partner? Circle

Yes/No

If so, could you describe this experience:

PLEASE CHECK TO SEE THAT YOU HAVE ANSWERED ALL THE QUESTIONS

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

285

APPENDIX I

Media Coverage - Printed Version Only Study Two 1. Web details on national radio program "Life Matters" 3 LO recorded 9/10/2002 2. The sex gets better "The Age" Melbourne Newspaper - feature article 28/102001 3. Did the rocking chair move for you? "The Age" - feature article 4/11/2001 4. The Age - News item P. 3 15/11/2001 5. The Sun - Melbourne Newspaper - feature article, P. 25, 25/11/2001 6. Country Women's Association newsletter Jan 2002 7. Keeping Love Brilliant - Living Now - Free magazine distributed to health food shops March 2002 8. Swinburne University News - glossy university magazine distributed quarterly Autumn 2002

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287

288

289

290

291

292

293

294

295

296

297

298

299

300

APPENDIX J

Three Factor Solution Table 43 Factor Loadings for Three Factor Solution _______________________________________________________________

Item Item words 1 2 3 TRANSCENDENCE/AROUSAL 6 items, alpha = .85 34 I experience that time stops during sex sometimes 79 09 00 50 During sex I sometimes experience a deep sense of merging with my partner 76 14 02 8 During sex I sometimes experience that the boundaries between my partner and I

blur 74 06 04

25 I sometimes experience a profoundly beautiful quietness during sex 64 05 07 17 I sometimes experience that my beloved and I are made of the same essence 53 12 05 9 I get sexually excited thinking about my partner 52 10 16

SEXUAL OPENNESS 6 items, alpha = .85 5 I feel comfortable suggesting new ways of making love to my partner 04 83 09 14 I feel free to tell my partner what I am thinking when we are having sex 05 79 06 49 I feel free to share fantasies with my partner during sex 03 79 06 40 I feel very comfortable telling my partner what will increase my pleasure when

we make love (things like: softer, harder, slower, to the left etc.) 03 69 11

57 I get playful when we have sex 03 44 26 51 I like to look deeply into my partner's eyes during sex 21 39 03 MATURE CARE 6 items, alpha = .74 12 I try to take care of myself so I can be more loving 07 01 62 39 My vitality is expressed in my loving 18 02 59 3 My strength enhances my relationship 05 08 55 38 I feel acceptable to my partner because I am acceptable to myself 02 03 55 19 I show my partner how much I love him/her in the little things I do 02 27 48 36 When my partner is under stress I try to understand his/her experience 03 07 37

__________________________________________________________________________________ NB Decimal points have been removed from factor loadings. Factor 1 = Transcendence/Arousal, Factor 2 = Sexual Openness, Factor 3 = Mature Care, N = 298.

301

Table 44 Comparison of Three Factor Solution with Other Measures Scales Mature Sexual Transcendence AMPL Subscales Care Openness /Arousal ____________________________________________________________________ Attitudes to Spiritualityb .06 -.13* .03 -.04

Institutional Spirituality .04 -.12* .03 -.03 Personal Spirituality .07 -.13* .03 -.03 B and D Love Scalec

B Love .50** .53** .54** .63** D Love .24** .38** .28** .37** Dyadic Adjustment Scaled .49** .40** .45** .54** Eysenck Personality Inventorye

Extraversion -.11 -.16** -.06 -.13* Neuroticism .17** .04 .07 .10 Love Attitude Scalef

Agape .15* .26** .19** .25** Eros .42** .50** .52** .59** Ludus -.28** -.16** -.22** -.25** Mania .10 .17** .16** .17** Pragma -.07 -.07 -.08 -.09 Storge .14* .10 .15** .15* Marlowe Crowneg .17** .17** .04 -.12* PANASh Negative Affect -.22** -.05 -.03 -.10 Positive Affect .36** .18** .31** .33** Passionate Love Scalei .36** .43** .46** .51** Sexual Arousability Inventoryj .31** .42** .44** .48** Spiritual Transcendence Scalek

Connectedness .17** -.04 .15* .10 Prayer Fulfillment .07 -.17** .07 -.03 Universality .11 -.13* .08 .00 Well Beingl

Autonomy .23** .15** .20** .23** Environmental Mastery .35** .21** .16** .26** Personal Growth .32** .16** .23** .27** Positive Relations With Others .32** .21** .18** .27** Purpose in Life .32** .14* .09 .19** Self Acceptance .41** .21** .24** .32** Willingness to Sacrificem .09 .08 .11 .11 ____________________________________________________________________ NB. a = Assessment of Mature Passionate Love, Woodward; b = Woodward; c = B and D Love Scale, {Peterson 1986 #2050}; d = Satisfaction Subscale, {Spanier 1976 #3120}; e = {Eysenck & Eysenck 1987 #750}; f = {Hendrick & Hendrick 1990 #980}; g = short form {Reynolds 1982 #3210}; h = {Watson, Clark, et al. 1988 #2070}; i = {Hatfield & Sprecher 1986 #2010}; j = {Hoon & Chambless. 1998 #3910}; k = {Piedmont 1999 #3110}; l = {Ryff 1989 #1620}; m = {Van Lange, Rusbult, et al. 1997 #1920}.

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APPENDIX K

Two Factor Solution

Item Removal

The items derived from the first study were again subject to factor analysis. There was an initial

pool of 62 items, one of which was a filter item to ascertain whether respondents were currently sexually

active, which was not used in the factor analysis. The seven social desirability items were dropped as a

pure measure of social desirability. Item 43 was also eliminated because it tended to have high factor

loadings but was not a conceptually clear item. This left a pool of 53 items.

More items were removed prior to the factor analysis because of concerns over exceptionally

high levels of skewness and kurtosis. The first criteria for item removal was whether they could be

transformed to produce a normal distribution using either a square root or a logarithmic transformation.

Sixteen items that could not be transformed using these methods were extremely skewed and were not

used. The second criteria for item removal was whether the means were greater than five (in a one to six

range) and kurtosis was very high. The third criterion was whether the item or set of items was

indispensable to the construct. Empirical criteria for item removal included: removing items that were

too highly correlated with others (multicollinearity), those that decreased reliability and those that cross

loaded, produced their own factor or loaded on small factors in factor analysis.

Factor Solution

A final version of the scale included only two factors, which did not represent mature love, rather

these factors were a measure of mature passionate sexuality. Hence the revised solution was called

Assessment of Mature Passionate Sexuality (AMPS). This solution included two factors:

Transcendence/Arousal and Sexual Openness. Most of the items of these factors had factored together

consistently throughout study one and the different factor solutions - indicating the solidness of the

solution. The soundness of this factor analytic solution was also indicated by Bartlett's test of sphericity

(a measure of intercorrelation among the items) with approximate Chi-square (66, N = 298) = 1531.70, p

< .001. The Kaiser - Meyer- Olkin measure of sampling adequacy was also excellent at .91. The

variance explained by these two rotated factors were Sexual Openness 41.53% and

Transcendence/Arousal explained 8.52%. These percentages cannot be validly added because the

factors were highly correlated (at around .59). However, the variance explained by these factors is

satisfactory (see Tables 44, 45, 46, 47).

303

Table 45 Factor Loadings for Two Factor Solution of the AMPS _______________________________________________________________

Item Item words 1 2 SEXUAL OPENNESS 6 items, alpha = .85 5 I feel comfortable suggesting new ways of making love to my partner 82 -02 14 I feel free to tell my partner what I am thinking when we are having sex 82 -04 49 I feel free to share fantasies with my partner during sex 81 -02 40 I feel very comfortable telling my partner what will increase my pleasure when

we make love (things like: softer, harder, slower, to the left etc.) 73 -01

57 I get playful when we have sex 48 15 51 I like to look deeply into my partner's eyes during sex 36 24

TRANSCENDENCE/AROUSAL 6 items, alpha = .83 34 I experience that time stops during sex sometimes -02 80 8 During sex I sometimes experience that the boundaries between my partner and I

blur -08 74

50 During sex I sometimes experience a deep sense of merging with my partner 15 72 25 I sometimes experience a profoundly beautiful quietness during sex -04 68 9 I get sexually excited thinking about my partner 14 56

52 At times I am so moved my our love making that I cry or feel like crying 03 50

__________________________________________________________________________ NB Decimal points have been removed from factor loadings. Factor 1 = Sexual Openness, Factor 2 = Transcendence/Arousal. N = 298. Items 5, 14, 49, and 40 have a negative factor two loading.

Table 46 Reliability of the Factors and the Full Scale of the AMPS ___________________________________________________________________ Measures N Sexual Transcendence AMPS

Openness /Arousal ___________________________________________________________________ Mean Inter-item Correlation 298 .49 47 .41 Alpha 298 .85 .83 .89 Test- Retest Correlations 68 .88 .89 .89 ___________________________________________________________________ Table 47 Intercorrelations Among the Factors of the AMPS (N = 298) ___________________________________________________________________ Sexual Transcendence AMPL

Openness /Arousal ___________________________________________________________________ Sexual Openness .59 .86 Transcendence/Arousal .88 AMPS - -1 ____________________________________________________________________ NB: All correlations are significant at the .001 level.

304

Table 48 Correlations of AMPSa and Derived Factors with Existing Measures (N = 298) __________________________________________________________________ SOb TAc AMPS Erosd PLSe SAIf ____________________________________________________________________ B and D Love Scaleg B Love

.53**

.50**

.58**

.60**

.54**

.37**

D Love .38** .26** .36** .32** .66** .23** Dyadic Adjustment Scaleh

.40** .42** .47** .48** .47** .18**

Neuroticismi .04 .07 .06 .08 -.13* .05 Love Attitude Scalej Agape

.26**

.13**

.22**

.31**

.38**

.19**

Eros .50** .48** .55** 1.00 .51** .35** Ludus -.16** -.22** -.22** .32** -.21** -.08 Mania .17** .15* .17** .20** .53** .01 Pragma -.07 -.08 -.09 -.07 .01 -.08 Storge .10 .12* .12* -.12* .11 .10 Passionate Love Scalee

.43** .46** .51** .51** 1.00 .42**

Sexual Arousability Inventoryf

.42** .42** .48** .35** .42** 1.00

Well Beingk Autonomy

.15**

.21**

.20**

.19**

.04

.16**

Environmental Mastery

.21** .15* .20** .22** .14* .21**

Personal Growth .16** .22** .22** .13* -.01 .14* Positive Relations with Others

.21** .14** .20** .15* .11 .17**

Purpose in Life .14* .06 .12* .14* .04 .07 Self Acceptance .21** .22** .22** .28** .08 .20** Age -.10 .13* .02 .03 -.20** .00 Length of Relationship

-.15* .05 -.06 .01 -.17** -.09

____________________________________________________________________ NB. a = Assessment of Mature Passionate Sexuality, Woodward; b = Sexual Openness, AMPS factor, c = Tanscendence/Arousal, AMPS factor; d = Subscale of Love Attitude Scale {Hendrick & Hendrick 1990 #980}:e = Passionate Love Scale {Hatfield & Sprecher 1986 #2010}, f = Sexual Arousability Inventory, {Hoon & Chambless. 1998 #3910}; g = B and D Love Scale, {Peterson 1986 #2050}; h = Satisfaction Subscale of the Dyadic Adjustment Scale {Spanier 1976 #3120}; i = From Eysenck's Personality Inventory {Eysenck & Eysenck 1987 #750}; j = {Hendrick & Hendrick 1990 #980}; k = Well Being Scale, {Ryff 1989 #1620}.

305

APPENDIX L

Five Factor Solution Computer Printout

KMO and Bartlett's Test

Kaiser-Meyer-

Olkin Measure

of Sampling

Adequacy.

.924

Bartlett's Test of

Sphericity

Approx. Chi-

Square

4271.657

df 435Sig. .000

Communalities

Initial Extraction MPLSD3 .269 .270 MPLSE5 .624 .652 MPLST8 .464 .434 MPLSE9 .583 .577

MPLSD12 .366 .423 MPLSE14 .622 .640

MPLSOT15 .500 .507 MPLSA16 .517 .544 MPLSE18 .528 .490

MPLSET22 .594 .560 MPLST25 .464 .458 MPLSE26 .641 .622 MPLSD29 .442 .435 MPLSA33 .634 .631 MPLST34 .586 .628 MPLSD38 .347 .337

MPLSET39 .479 .525 MPLSE40 .554 .543

MPLSOT41 .559 .633 MPLSA42 .614 .600

MPLSEG45 .425 .375 MPLSE49 .621 .659 MPLST50 .659 .690 MPLSE51 .481 .323 MPLST52 .397 .320

MPLSEG53 .418 .453 MPLSD55 .286 .293

MPLSET56 .562 .542 MPLSE57 .442 .395 MPLSE62 .431 .368

Extraction Method: Maximum Likelihood.

306

Total Variance Explained Initial

Eigenvalues Extraction

Sums of Squared Loadings

Rotation Sums of Squared Loadings

Factor Total % of Variance

Cumulative %

Total % of Variance

Cumulative %

Total

1 10.598 35.325 35.325 10.108 33.694 33.694 6.7302 2.170 7.232 42.557 1.669 5.565 39.259 4.1133 1.974 6.581 49.138 1.381 4.604 43.863 5.9454 1.553 5.178 54.316 1.156 3.853 47.716 4.1195 1.175 3.918 58.234 .612 2.040 49.757 6.7976 .959 3.198 61.4327 .908 3.026 64.4588 .871 2.904 67.3629 .763 2.543 69.905

10 .699 2.330 72.23511 .638 2.126 74.36012 .629 2.096 76.45613 .619 2.064 78.52014 .585 1.949 80.46915 .564 1.879 82.34816 .544 1.814 84.16217 .487 1.623 85.78518 .467 1.558 87.34319 .441 1.469 88.81320 .405 1.351 90.16421 .395 1.317 91.48122 .380 1.267 92.74723 .377 1.257 94.00524 .301 1.003 95.00725 .291 .970 95.97726 .282 .940 96.91727 .259 .864 97.78028 .234 .781 98.56129 .228 .761 99.32330 .203 .677 100.000

Extraction Method: Maximum Likelihood. a When factors are correlated, sums of squared loadings cannot be added to obtain a total variance.

307

Goodness-of-fit Test

Chi-Square

df Sig.

505.252 295 .000

Scree Plot

Factor Number

2927252321191715131197531

Eige

nval

ue

12

10

8

6

4

2

0

308

Pattern Matrix Factor

1 2 3 4 5MPLSA16 .682 MPLSA33 .632 MPLSA42 .615 MPLSET5

6.585

MPLSE26 .525 -.357MPLSE9 .474 -.349

MPLSET22

.467

MPLSOT41

.708

MPLSD29 .551MPLSEG5

3.303 .532

MPLSOT15

.512

MPLSEG45

.369

MPLSE49 -.772MPLSE5 -.692

MPLSE14 -.692MPLSE40 -.578MPLSE18 -.445MPLSE57 -.408MPLSD12 .657MPLSET3

9 .564

MPLSD38 .550MPLSD55 .457

MPLSD3 .453MPLST34 -.755MPLST25 -.646

MPLST8 -.640MPLST50 -.639MPLST52 -.505MPLSE62 -.495MPLSE51 -.317 -.342

Extraction Method: Maximum Likelihood. Rotation Method: Oblimin with Kaiser Normalization. a Rotation converged in 10 iterations.

309

Structure Matrix Factor

1 2 3 4 5MPLSA33 .771 .424 -.431 .316 -.479MPLSA42 .734 .455 -.454 -.369MPLSA16 .731 .370 -.337 -.362MPLSE26 .708 -.414 .369 -.639MPLSET5

6.698 .383 -.395 .401 -.401

MPLSET22

.680 .479 -.420 .377 -.493

MPLSE9 .632 -.429 .346 -.624MPLSOT4

1.368 .770 -.401 .310

MPLSOT15

.420 .647 -.441 .331

MPLSD29 .322 .636 .343MPLSEG5

3.448 .617

MPLSEG45

.456 .502 .338 -.388

MPLSE49 .379 -.805 -.434MPLSE5 .412 .363 -.786 -.449

MPLSE14 .469 .336 -.782 -.418MPLSE40 .377 .426 -.688 -.417MPLSE18 .460 -.616 .316 -.540MPLSE57 .432 -.542 .367 -.418MPLSE51 -.480 -.468MPLSET3

9.421 -.335 .668 -.484

MPLSD12 .642MPLSD38 .569

MPLSD3 .504MPLSD55 .487MPLST34 .423 -.389 .351 -.789MPLST50 .589 -.497 .346 -.788MPLST25 .309 -.308 .353 -.673

MPLST8 .347 -.304 -.655MPLSE62 -.363 .354 -.588MPLST52 .335 -.540

Extraction Method: Maximum Likelihood. Rotation Method: Oblimin with Kaiser Normalization. Factor Correlation Matrix

Factor 1 2 3 4 51 1.000 .386 -.428 .294 -.4772 .386 1.000 -.279 .336 -.2083 -.428 -.279 1.000 -.199 .4524 .294 .336 -.199 1.000 -.4595 -.477 -.208 .452 -.459 1.000

Extraction Method: Maximum Likelihood. Rotation Method: Oblimin with Kaiser Normalization.

310

APPENDIX M

Comparison of Samples

Samples from different sources were compared on the AMPL2 and its factors for study two. Some smaller samples were added together to form one group: the Morning Program, the Drive Show, Derryn Hinch, Country Womens' Association and Living Now. A between group comparisons using Oneway ANOVA showed a significant group difference on Sexual Openness (F(6, 295) = 3.26, p <.01) and one post hoc Scheffe comparison was significant. The AMPL2 scores for the respondents from the Sun article were significantly higher on Sexual Openness at the .05 level than the respondents from Life Matters (mean = 26.77, SD = 1.90 and mean = 23.18, SD = 4.18 respectively). These differences again may reflect the influence of socioeconomic status, with the Herald/Sun sample tending to be more working class.

311

APPENDIX N

Items For Further Research

Table 49 Derived Passionate Love Items for Further Research ____________________________________________________________________ 1. I make time for my relationship even if I am busy 2. .My strength enhances my relationship 3. My partner is so fascinating it will take me a lifetime to know him/her completely 4. I feel comfortable suggesting new ways of making love to my partner 5. I can reveal my innermost thoughts and feelings to my partner 6. I like to show affection to my partner 7. During sex I sometimes experience that the boundaries between my partner and I blur 8. I get sexually excited thinking about my partner 9. My partner and I do exciting things together 10. I try to take care of myself so I can be more loving 11. I am eager to learn more about my partner 12. I feel free to tell my partner what I am thinking when we are having sex 13. I show my partner who I really am 14. My partner and I kiss, hug and hold one another often 15. I feel open to what my partner wants sexually 16. I show my partner how much I love him/her in the little things I do 17. I remain true to myself in my relationship 18. Getting to know my partner is a wonderful process 19. When we are away from one another I fantasize about having sex with my partner 20. I feel that I have endless things to talk about with my partner 21. I sometimes experience a profoundly beautiful quietness during sex 22. I find my partner's sensual touch thrilling 23. I love to share my interests with my partner 24. I tell my partner what is important to me even if he/she disagrees 25. I ask my partner what he/she does and cares about 26. I can talk with my partner for hours and hours 27. I feel an overwhelming rush of affection for my partner 28. I experience that time stops during sex sometimes 29. When my partner is under stress I try to understand his/her experience 30. I feel acceptable to my partner because I am acceptable to myself 31. My vitality is expressed in my loving 32. I feel very comfortable telling my partner what will increase my pleasure when we make love things like: softer, harder, slower, to the left etc.) 33. I am happy to show my fears and struggles to my partner 34. I really adore my partner 35. I can luxuriate in my partner's sensual touch 36. I try to reach out to my partner when he/she is unhappy or overwhelmed 37. I see my partner as he/she is 38. I love with so much energy 39. I feel free to share fantasies with my partner during sex 40. During sex I sometimes experience a deep sense of merging with my partner 41. I like to look deeply into my partner's eyes during sex 42. At times I am so moved by our love making that I cry or feel like crying 43. I feel that in troubled times I can count on my partner 44. There are still new things that my partner and I find to do when we make love 45. I believe that to really love my partner I must understand myself 46. I think my relationship with my partner is fantastic 47. I get playful when we have sex 48. I feel confident about the strength of my relationship Note: Table continued next page

312

Table 49 Derived AMPL Items for Further Research ____________________________________________________________________ 49. I think our sex life is great 50. I feel very tender towards my partner Filter 51. I currently have sex, or some form of sexual contact with my partner 52. I like to take time over sex ____________________________________________________________________

There were originally 62 items in the AMPL2 questionnaire. Seven social

desirability/idealisation and three Transcendence items were removed. The Transcendence items deducted included one complex item and two items that were not sexually based.