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EVEN THOUGH THOMAS AND I SPEND ALL DAY CYCLING TOGETHER, DINNER IS OFTEN THE BEST CHANCE TO TALK IN DEPTH.
JIANGSU, CHINA – AUGUST 2016
WHAT WEREYOU THINKING ABOUT
ON TODAY’S RIDE?
UNCONSCIOUS
and theaversion toAVERSION
an
AVERSIONaversion toUNCONSCIOUSan
JIANGSU, CHINA – AUGUST 2016
WELL…REMEMBER YESTERDAY YOU ASKED
ME WHY I NEVER GET FRUSTRATED?
YEAH — YOU SAID IT WAS BECAUSE YOU HAD NO ATTACHMENT
AND NO AVERSION.
SO TODAY I ASKED MYSELF IF THAT WAS
REALLY TRUE.
UH HUH. AND … ?
I DIDN’T WANT TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT I DON’T WANT
TO KEEP ANYTHING FROM YOU … SO: IT’S AN AVERSION TO CYCLING
AT THE PACE YOU SLOW TO AS WE GET TO THE END
OF EACH DAY.
WELL, I FIGURED OUT THAT I DO HAVE
AN AVERSION.
YEAH? WHAT’STHAT ABOUT?
ONE OF THE THINGS I ADMIRE ABOUT THOMAS IS THAT HE DOESN’T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY ISSUES, MAKE ME FEEL WRONG TO HAVE THEM, OR TRY TO MAKE THEM ABOUT HIM.
HONESTLY, I FIND IT BORING — BUT THAT’S NOT
THE ISSUE. TODAY I WORKED OUT THAT IT’S ABOUT FOUR
DIFFERENT THINGS.
MM-HMM.
] 1253qa
ONE IS WORRY THAT WE WON’T REACH
BALI IN THE TIME WE NEED TO.
ONE IS THAT I’M NOTGETTING THE RIGOR I
NEED TO BE READY FOR MOUNTAIN RIDING…
…AND THE LAST IS THAT BY THAT TIME OF THE DAY MY ASS
IS SORE! THE SLOWER WE GO THE LONGER I’M IN PAIN.
ANOTHER IS A FEAR OF “NOT LOOKING GOOD” SINCE WE’RE PUBLISHING
OUR PROGRESS…
AND Y’KNOW, FULLY EXPLORING THE NATURE
OF THAT AVERSION MADE ME QUESTION MYSELF ABOUT
WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO ME.
AND IT’S SO CLEAR: THE WHOLE POINT
OF THIS ADVENTURE, FOR ME, IS GETTING TO SHARE
IT WITH YOU.
SO THEN I LOOKED AT MY CHOICES FOR DEALING WITH
THE AVERSION. I COULD SPEED UP TO A PACE THAT WOULD “FIX”
THOSE ISSUES — AND BE RIDING ON MY OWN … … OR I COULD PUT YOU
UNDER PRESSURE TO SPEED UP, WHICH WOULD LEAD TO FRUSTRATION FOR AT LEAST
ONE OF US …
… OR I COULD RELAX, AND FULLY APPRECIATE HOW FORTUNATE I AM
TO BE HAVING THIS EXPERIENCE WITH YOU.
I GUESS YOU KNOW WHICH ONE I CHOOSE.
THAT’S REAL COOL, DAN. AND I’M GLAD, BECAUSE
IT JUST DOESN’T WORK FOR ME TO ALWAYS BE GOING
AT YOUR PACE.
I’M GLAD TOO — ON ONE HAND IT WAS GREAT TO
DISCOVER THAT I WAS HIDING AN AVERSION FROM MYSELF, AND
GET TO LOOK AT IT HONESTLY…
… AND ON THE OTHER I WAS HESITANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT ANY OF THIS, IN CASE
YOU FELT YOU HAD TO CHANGE ANYTHING YOU DO BECAUSE OF ME.
BUT I DID KNOWGOING INTO THIS THAT, IF MY LIFE WAS THE MATRIX,
YOU’RE NEO AND I’M TRINITY.
OH, YOU KNOW I WOULDN’T
DO THAT.
TO BE CONTINUED…