F R I E N D S F I R S T

SPOTLIGHT ON… Kim & Joshua Reflecting on his match with Kim, which began January 2009 Joshua says, "I found a friend, a real close friend. I can talk to him about anything." Kim says of mentoring, "It's been good to have something regular and meaningful outside of work. But mostly it's just an excuse to run around and have fun like a teenager. Josh is the class clown and he makes me laugh a lot." Kim's favorite outings with Josh are the Friends First Camping trip, going to a car museum in Volo, IL, go-karting and going to see professional ball games. Josh‘s mother, Jessica, says, ―The time is never up with them. They tend to always find something to do by alternating who chooses what they‘ll do for the week. They‘ve made lots of memorable moments together.‖ Kim recalls one such moment. ―I'm sure it terrified the Friends First and campsite staff, but the time Josh and I capsized our rowing boat in the freezing cold lake on the camping trip was absolutely hilarious and a real bonding moment, even if it was humiliating to trudge out of the lake in wet clothes while all the other mentors gave me disapproving looks.‖ ―When we started out I could give Josh a decent game of basketball, but now he beats me easily." Basketball is Josh‘s favorite activity because, he says, "We both can do it. We laugh a lot—at each other mostly. We are both bad sometimes and mess up and laugh at each other." "Getting to know [Josh] has given me an opportunity to explore the city and feel at home here, even though I grew up in London,‖ says Kim. ―His mom Jessica, brother Lionel and dad Zinny have all made me feel like part of the family—particularly Jessica, who is a wonderful cook and whose chicken lasagna is to die for.‖ Kim shared his own cooking talents with Josh as well. ―We cooked a traditional English Sunday roast dinner of roast chicken, roast

potatoes and vegetables,‖ says Kim. ―Contrary to the bad rap English food gets, Josh enjoyed it, and that is high praise coming from someone who is so spoiled from food at home. The secret is to par-boil the spuds and fork them before roasting them in the chicken fat with garlic‖ Throughout their time together Joshua and Kim have introduced one another to interests and experiences from each of their cultural backgrounds. ―I've taught him some English slang, like ‗spuds‘ for potatoes,‖ says Kim, ―and made him a CD with some songs by, The Streets, to teach him the concept behind cockney rhyming slang (it's complicated). [And] I've tried to interest him in soccer.‖ Joshua says he has learned about other cultures through outings like going to the National Museum of Mexican Art in Pilsen. Whatever they do together, Joshua says he, ―just likes spending time with Kim‖. Joshua has introduced Kim to some new experiences as well. ―He took me to the roller rink near his home, which is definitely a black Chicago culture thing,‖ says Kim. ―Josh has his own boots with his nickname ‗Bootsy‘ on them and he and his brother are both strong skaters. Me? Not so much, although I managed, just about, to stay on my feet.‖ ―We tend to alternate movie choices and the music we listen to in the car,‖ says Kim. ―Josh plays me the latest hip-hop and black cinema and I try to introduce him to some older stuff.‖ Joshua says that Kim has taught him how to trust somebody. And, Joshua hopes he has taught Kim that, ―young people are not all the same. I have taught him that I am a good kid.‖ Kim says, ―I'd be amazed if Josh didn't think I was a bit square –he's a teenager—but I hope I've shown him that working hard and trying to make smart choices doesn't mean you have to lead a dull life; that in fact the reverse is true.‖ ―Josh has taught me to relax and not take things so seriously, and never to play a teenager at video games if you're a bad loser.‖ In considering how he‘s seen Joshua grow throughout their match, Kim says, ―Josh was charming and socially confident already, but I hope I've shown him some experiences that he might not otherwise have had, and that if he steps outside his comfort zone people will naturally warm to him.‖ ―I'd encourage mentors who are planning on making a new match when their current match comes to end to consider being paired with an older teenager like Josh, who might share more of your adult interests,‖ says Kim. Josh‘s advice for mentees is, ―Don‘t be shy; just try new things. You‘ll probably have fun.‖

Friends First is a program of Mercy Home for Boys & Girls

www.mercyhome.org

Spring 2011

Building Assets by Example

Donald is one of the Friends First program‘s most interesting mentors. For over twenty five years, he worked in the field

of industrial construction and found time with his wife to raise four children. The work was both time consuming and

physical. Unfortunately, Donald was injured on the job and had to redirect his life. He decided to go to college and

become a teacher. He was already involved in coaching sports on a voluntary basis and thought that becoming a teacher

would be an extension of the effort he was making with children in sports.

He began his college career in his middle forties at one of the local junior colleges. It is not easy to begin a new direction

in life at this age much less begin the long process of earning a bachelor‘s degree in history. After completing two years

of an associates degree, he began his final two years at the University of Illinois at Chicago. He got to know a teacher that

had a great influence on the direction of his collegiate work. He took an English 101 class and soon learned that the

teacher was disabled. He had lost his sight. The teacher made a great impression on Donald as another person that was

able to overcome adversity in life.

Donald was given a great asset in his life and now he has the ability to share this with his mentee through the Friends

First Program. He feels that one should never allow adversity to define one‘s life; rather, one should try to turn adversity

into something positive. He likes to share this attitude with his mentee. ~ Br. Paul McDonough

Mary Ann’s Moment Chicago is a city rich in cultural diversity deriving from

people who come from every corner of the world. So,

chances are that you are matched in Friends First with

some one who comes from a different background or

that some of your friends are from diverse cultures.

Embracing and exploring our differences can be a lot of

fun and educational, too, as we realize that we are all a piece of life‘s

beautiful mosaic.

Share stories about family elders and eat a meal or snack that is specific to

your family‘s ethnicity. Visit museums and shops that are geared toward

different cultures. Ask if you can take part in a friend‘s family tradition that

is not part of your own. Make a point to go to neighborhood festivals and

events so that you can hear music, sample foods and see crafts & artwork

that define different ethnic groups. You can even volunteer to help out at

one of these events to expand your knowledge and make new friends.

As you learn about differences you will also find similarities. The more you

learn about all people, the better your skills will become at navigating life

all over the globe. ~Mary Ann Pilet

Happy Anniversary!

Linda F. & Isadora C…….4/05

Gail S. & Amirra D………4/06

Kathy O. & Emilia B……..4/11

Scott Y. & Joshua M……..5/01

Julie J. & Monique W……5/15

CJ J. & David M………….6/07

Lori C. Sarah B…………...6/14

Elizabeth O. & Zitlaly G…6/14

Matt S. & Jordan M……...6/22

John C. & Carlos C………6/24

Allison R. & Desiree C…...6/28

We apologize if we have missed your

birthday. Please let us know so we can

add it to our calendar.

Welcome New Matches! We are pleased to welcome these new

matches and wish them all the best as they

start an exciting year together:

Susan K. & Anika R………..…1/08

Leticia H. & Jada K………..….1/09

Neil K. & Braxton W………….1/27

Kayla M. & Alicia Z…………..1/27

Meghan J. & Alisha W……….2/04

Friends First Fun Facts! Thoughts on Diversity...

Humanity – there is no they, only us. ~ The Virtues Project

We have the ability to achieve, if we master the necessary goodwill, a common global society blessed with a shared

culture of peace that is nourished by the ethnic, national and local diversities that enrich our lives. ~ Mahnaz Afkhami

I think we have to own the fears that we have of each other, and then, in some practical way, some daily way, figure

out how to see people differently than the way we were brought up to. ~ Alice Walker

Diversity in Action...

President Eisenhower passed the first civil rights bill through Congress since reconstruction in 1957.

WGPR-TV Detroit, first Black-owned station in US, begins broadcasting in 1975.

Ben Nighthorse Campbell of Colorado was the first person of Native American ancestry to serve in the U.S. senate.

Janet Guthrie was the first woman to race in the Indianapolis 500. Diversity Fun Facts...

The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.

IN Albania, nodding your head means ―no‖ and shaking your head means ―yes.‖

In Tibet, it is considered polite to stick out your tongue at your guests.

In China, the dark shadows forming a face on the moon are seen as ―the toad in the moon,‖ not

―the man in the moon.‖ No Matter What Culture We Come From, We Have Some Things in Common...

We are all born with 300 bones, but when we become an adult, we only have 206.

We all need water & air to live.

Every person has a unique tongue print, just like fingerprints.

The human brain can hold 500 times the information in a set of the Encyclopedia Britannica. (We choose what we

put into it.) ~ Diane Venzera

A Picture of Diversity

“Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it every day.” Diversity encompasses respecting, valuing and harnessing the richness of ideas, backgrounds and perspectives that are unique to

each individual. “We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color.” Maya Angelou

Diversity Puzzle Supplies

Copy of puzzle, scissors, markers Action Cut the pieces apart. From the list below, choose 4 ideas to explore: 1. Food from a different culture 2. Music from a different genre 3. Holiday from a different culture 4. Different ways to say Hello 5. Sport you are not familiar with 6. Folk Dances 7. American Sign language 8. The word or symbol for Peace in

other languages or cultures Create a symbol or design to represent

each idea and assign each one to a

different puzzle piece. Draw or illustrate

the designs on the designated puzzle

pieces. Then admire the skill and talent

you showed in creating each individual

piece :-). Now put the puzzle together to

form one amazing picture of the beauty

of diversity.

Mask Making A mask is a remarkable object that

was used by several ancient

civilizations normally worn on the

face. They were typically used for

protection, disguise, performance

or entertainment.

Masks have been used for many, many years both for

ceremonial and practical purposes. But did you know that

they are now a form of art? Talk to your mentor about the

various cultures that have used masks in the past, pick your

favorite, and create your own!

What You Need

Heavy poster paper about 22" x 28" (can be smaller)

Pencils

Crayons, makers and/or Paint

Paintbrushes & containers for water

Scissors

Stapler

Feathers, beads, sequins, and other found objects

Glue

String or elastic

What You Do

1. Draw an oval shape on the large piece of paper. The

larger the better ... masks can cover more then just the

face. Cut the oval shape out of the paper.

2. At both the top and bottom of the oval, make a 1" cut.

(You will later take these cuts, fold the paper across

itself and staple so the mask has some dimension).

3. Draw and cut out where the eye holes and mouth and

nose holes (if any) are going to be.

4. Decorate the mask by using bright crayon colors or

bright paint colors.

5. Even more details can be added with magic markers

and crayons.

6. Now, where you made you made your cuts, fold the

paper and staple in place. This will give your mask

more dimension.

7. Glue found object decorations on the mask. Anything

from feathers and string to beads and tissue paper.

8. Staple string onto the mask so it can be tied around the

head.

Enjoy and share what you‘ve learn!

~ Yaresi Lopez

Kreative Kids Mariyah C. and

Colleen H. Mariyah and Colleen

showed off their

homemade board

game, Hayloc, during

the board game

making contest on

January 15th. They

constructed the game

f r o m r e c y c l e d

materials and art

supplies. Hayloc, a

name derived from a

combination of parts of both Mariyah‘s and Colleen‘s names, is a trivia

game with four different categories. Mariyah and Colleen

put in a lot of pre-contest-day preparation by looking up

trivia questions and answers online. Hayloc had its

inaugural game the day of the contest when its creators

guided another match and volunteers through a few

practice rounds. Everyone agreed that the game was a

success—it was creative, fun and challenging! ~ Amanda Sneed

Happy Birthday!!

April Anika R………………4/09

Joshua D……………...4/15

Tia M…………………4/23

May Emilia B…………..….5/09

Cherron P……………5/14

Jasean P……………...5/14

Curtis B……………....5/17

Joshua M……………..5/19

June None

We apologize if we have missed your

birthday. Please let us know so we

can add it to our calendar.

In celebration of National Mentoring Month, Friends First hosted a networking breakfast. The purpose was to celebrate mentorship, network with mentor and child referral sources, and to find out how to get involved as a mentor or mentee. Mercy Home for Boys and Girls‘ Jr. Board recently hosted their annual recruitment event for Friends First. Jr. Board members and current mentors were invited to bring a friend or colleague who might be interested in mentoring. Mercy Home was honored at the Bulls game by State Farm for our efforts in the community. Mercy selected two matches to represent the agency to receive the award. In addition to being on the court for the award, the matches (Jacob B., Tom E., Isadora C. and Linda F.) were courtside for the game, with some pre-game privileges to see warm up and to take pictures. Friends First Tidbits Adapted from http://www.ignitesparks.com/sparks_conversation.html Questions, Probes, Ideas and Follow-through

What does your name mean?—Look it up on the Internet.

What would it be like to learn the folk dances of Mexico or the folk songs of Bali?—Find a cultural center that may teach them.

What is a family tradition of yours? Can you celebrate that tradition in your match?

~ Mary Quinn We love your stories so please

keep sharing them with us!

Friends First Focus

Cultural Competence The Search Institute (www.search-institute.org)

acknowledges the importance of young people having

knowledge of and comfort with people of different

cultural, racial, ethnic backgrounds. Your match itself

might be representative of this asset—just by your own

background and history. Consider sharing with each

other your culture, traditions and that of your ancestors.

Visit a cultural museum to find out more—you‘ll likely

learn something new about yourself.

Friends First Fun! The Friends First 3rd Annual Basketball Tournament

hosted 10 matches playing ball while one match

participated in a ―Create Your Own Board Game‖

activity. This event allows for excellent competition

and good sportsmanship. There were some great

games, with three that went into overtime. Match

Jordan D. (mentee) and Peter R. (mentor), along with

Peter‘s brother Michael ,became this year‘s 2011 3 x 3

Champions!

Friends First hosted their 3rd Annual Career Day on

Saturday, February 26th. The day included guest

speakers who talked about their professional careers.

This year‘s speakers included a pharmacist, a retail

recruiter / buyer, an epidemiologist, a social worker /

pastor and a real estate consultant. Each speaker shared

the path they took that got them to where they are now.

Additionally, Friends First mentor, Beth, who is a Life

Coach, led the group through an exercise that

encouraged them to examine their passions. Mercy

Home‘s College Coordinator, Anne Johnson, spoke

about college, from what our young people should be

doing now to creative ways to visit campuses in order

to begin the process of thinking about and getting into

college. Finally, youth were paired with an adult to

have practice in a mock interview with feedback.

Friends First News

The Friends First team seeks to serve as many youth

with mentoring matches as possible. In this effort, the

team has been going out into the community and

making presentations about the program to sources that

might allow us to recruit potential youth and adults

who might become mentees or mentors in our program.

If you belong to a church, community center,

alumni group or other organization that you think

might be interested in hearing a presentation about

Friends First in order to get involved, please let us

know!

ME & MY M & Ms

I have always liked M & M‘s, the most

diverse multicultural integrated candy in the

world. You have your red ones, your yellow

ones, your orange ones, your brown ones,

and your green ones, (and the newest blue

ones). All are in one package, all co-existing together.

One color doesn‘t think that it is superior to the other,

one color doesn‘t discriminate against the other. All

colors are the same size, shape, and weight. All colors

look different on the outside, but have the same

ingredients on the inside. Wouldn‘t it be nice if like M

& M‘s, our prejudices melted into the abyss like

chocolate melts in our mouth? And all people were

judged by what was inside, rather than the color you see

on the outside??? If candy can be prejudice free WHY

CAN‘T WE??? ~ Dr. Marilyn Kern-Foxworth

Things that Make You Go “Hmmm?”

F R I E N D S F I R S T

A newsletter dedicated to building and supporting the Friends First community of Mercy Home for Boys & Girls. For more information, please call (312) 738-7552 or visit www.mercyhome.org.

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Cultural Diversity

Chicago is one of the best cities in the world to really explore diverse, enriching neighborhoods such as Chinatown,

Pilsen, Humboldt Park, Ukrainian Village, and many more. Our city is composed like a box of crayons. We have a

variety of upbringings to learn from.

For instance, did you know that in South Africa, if a male wants to propose to a female he would have to offer 11 cows

to the woman‘s father? Over, a decade ago, when Bill Clinton was our president, a guy from South Africa wrote to Bill

Clinton, offering him 11 cows to marry his daughter, Chelsea Clinton.

In our society we have some families that demand that their adult sons or daughters live at home until they get married.

In other cultures, when a teen turns 18 years old, he/she is expected to move out to begin they‘re road to independence.

Countries in Mexico, Central and South American would name corn tortilla tacos, Baleadas, Empanadas, and many

other names.

There are certain tribes in Ecuador that when the boys turn 4 years old, they are expected to sleep in the woods for the

first time, along with one adult to prove how important their age and gender are to their societies.

What has been your experience learning from your mentor/mentee? Have you noticed upbringing differences in terms of

music, food, customs, etc? Having differences does not mean that one culture is superior to another. It just means that

together we can accomplish much more. We are all crayons living in Chicago in different neighborhoods, but in the

same crayon box. Go discover what it means to hear that a ―million mile Journey, begins with the first step‖.

~ Alberto Paguada