Prof. Pardeep Kumar

“Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true.

This special secret, can be summarized in the four C’s

Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, Constancyand the greatest of all is Confidence When you believe in a thing, believe in it all

the way, implicitly and unquestionably.” Walt Disney

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

John D. Rockefeller: A Story• A businessman deep in debt and could see no way out• Creditors closing in on him. Suppliers demanding payments• Sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his

company from bankruptcy• An Old man appeared. “I can see that something is troubling you,”• After listening to the executive’s woes, “I believe I can help you.”• Asked his name, wrote out a cheque, and pushed it into his hand saying, “Take

this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time.”

• Turned and disappeared quickly as he had come• Executive saw a cheque for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one

of the richest men in the world!• “I can erase my money worries in an instant!” • Put the uncashed cheque in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him

the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

• Renewed optimism, negotiated better deals, closed big sales deals. Within a few months, he was out of debt & making money once again

• Exactly one year later, Returned to the park with the uncashed cheque. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the cheque, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.

• “I’m so glad I caught him!” she cried. He’s always escaping from the rest home and telling people he’s John D. Rockefeller.”

• And she led the old man away by the arm.

• The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he’d been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him.

• Suddenly, he realized that it wasn’t the money, real or imagined, that had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Preparing Yourself for Success! From the quietly confident doctor whose advice we rely on, to the

charismatic confidence of an inspiring speaker, self-confident people have qualities that everyone admires

Extremely important in almost every aspect of lives, yet so many

people struggle to find it. Sadly, People who lack it can find it difficult to become successful.

People are reluctant to back a project pitched by nervous, fumbling, and overly apologetic.

Persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his head high, and who readily admits when he does not know something.

Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, peers, bosses, customers, and friends.

And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.

The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, it’s well-worth the effort!

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

What is Self-Confidence

• Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared.

• Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you.

Self-confidence is a term used to

describe how secure a person

is in his own decisions and

actions and how free he is from

doubt.

• The state of mind characterized by one's reliance on himself.

• It is a feeling of self-sufficiency; such assurance as leads to a feeling of security.

Main causes for

lack of self-

confidence

Negativelife

experiences CONFIDENCE

We often develop feelings of inferiority and lack of self confidence through various negative life experiences at home, school, on the job, etc.

Loss of a family member or

close friendSelf confidence can diminish when confronted with tragic life situations like death of a very close family members or breaking up of relationship with a very close friend.

Failures &reversals in

life

Self Criticis

mCriticizing yourself and your abilities and blame yourself for your failures and disappointment.

External Pressure

Experiencing too much pressure from your parents and/or peers to meet the demands and expectations that they set out for you deprives you of the opportunity to develop your own identity, independence and autonomy.

Believing that because you have failed before, you will fail again.Fear sets in which depletes self-confidence.

I've missed more than 9000 shots in

my career. I've lost almost

300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game

winning shot and missed.

“

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

“

Michael Jordan

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Identify the person

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

• 1832 - lost his job & defeated in legislature

• 1833 - failed in business

• 1835 - sweetheart died

• 1836 - had a nervous breakdown

• 1838 - defeated for Speaker of the U.S. House

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

• 1843 - defeated for nomination for Congress

• 1848 - lost re-nomination

• 1854 - defeated for U.S. Senate

• 1856 - defeated for nomination Vice President

•1858 - again defeated for U.S. SenateProf. Pardeep Kumar

In 1860 he was elected President

of USA

Abraham Lincoln

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Sometimes hardships and reversals can bring

out the best in us

They can be blessings in

disguise!

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't

work.

Thomas Alva Edison

“ “

Holding you BackNo one is immune to these effects of insecurity at work, but they don't have to hold you back.

Overcoming theFeeling of Insecurity

• Insecurity affects every human being in many different ways.

• Overcoming this self-doubt starts with:– Assess your abilities,

shortcomings and weaknesses, and try to correct them.

mäträ-sparçäs tu kaunteyaçétoñëa-sukha-duùkha-däù

ägamäpäyino ’nityästäàs titikñasva bhärata

REF. Bg 2.14

TRANSLATION

O son of Kunté, the nonpermanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course,

are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer

seasons. They arise from sense perception,

O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to tolerate them without being

disturbed.

Let’s doSelf Assessment

How confident are you How confident are you ??

– Do what you believe to be right, even if criticized for it

– Willing to take risks– Admit your mistakes and

learn from them– Extol your virtues as often &

to as many as possible– Accept compliments

graciously.

– Govern your behavior based on what others think

– Stay in your comfort zone– Work hard to cover up your

mistakes– Wait for others to congratulate

you– Dismiss compliments rudely.

High Self Confidence Low Self Confidence

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Confidence Asessment• Write up an accomplishment. • 50-150 words. What happened What you did to make it happen Resources, Constraints &

Results: people, money, time, environment…

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Self-Confidence Components

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Self Efficacy

• Bandura put forward the notion that as people become competent in particular skills and situations they develop a feeling of self efficacy.

• Self efficacy is different from self confidence. Someone may be generally self confident but when it came doing something which they weren’t particularly good at, they may have low self efficacy in that situation.

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Our expectations of whether or not self confidence is going to be high or low may determine the activity we choose, the amount of effort we put into it and whether we stick with the task or give up easily

Bandura proposed that people with high self efficacya) Seek challenges, apply effort and persist

b) Attribute success to effort and ability

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Factors Affecting Self Efficacy

1. Performance Accomplishments –

• These probably have the strongest influence on self confidence.

• If success has been experienced in the past, then feelings of self confidence are likely to be high

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

2. Vicarious Experiences – This refers to what we have observed before. If we watch others perform and be successful, then we are more likely to experience high self efficacy.

3. Verbal Persuasion – If we are encouraged to try a particular activity, our confidence in that situation may increase.

4. Emotional Arousal – Our perceptions of how aroused we are can effect our confidence in a particular situation.

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Performance

Efficacy Expectations

Behaviour patterns Choice Effort Persistence

Performance Accomplishments

Emotional arousal

Vicarious Experiences

Verbal Persuasion

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Healthy self-esteem is a one’s armor against the challenges of the world.

As an adult, you know that every person is unique and special; don’t ever forget this

Self Esteem

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Balancing self confidenceBalancing self confidence

Under-confident, avoid taking risks and stretching himself – might not even try at all.Over-confident, may take on too much risk, stretch himself beyond his capabilities and fail badly.

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Building Self-ConfidenceSo how do you build this sense of

balanced self-confidence?No quick fix, or five-minute solution.Building self-confidence is readily

achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination.

The things you’ll do to build self-confidence will also build success – after all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from you!

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Preparing for Your Journey

Getting yourself ready for your journey to self-confidence.

You need to take stock of where you are, what are your strengths, where you want to go, Right mindset for your journey, and commit yourself to starting it and staying

with it.Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Look at What You've Already AchievedThink about your life so far, and list the ten best

things you've achieved in an "Achievement Log." Perhaps you came top in an important test or exam, played a key role in an important team, produced the best sales figures in a period, did something that made a key difference in someone else’s life, or delivered a project that meant a lot for your business.

Put these into a smartly formatted document, which you can look at often.

And then spend a few minutes each week enjoying the success you’ve already had!

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Think About Your StrengthsNext, use a technique like SWOT

Analysis   to take a look at who and where you are.

What your friends would consider to be your strengths and weaknesses.

Think about the opportunities and threats Enjoy a few minutes reflecting on your

strengths!

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Think About What's Important to You, and Where you Want to Go

Next, think about the things that are really important to you, and what you want to achieve with your life.

Setting and achieving goals is a key part of this, and real self-confidence comes from this.

Goal setting is the process you use to set yourself targets, and measure your successful hitting of those targets.

Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face.

And having set the major goals in your life, identify the first step in each. Make sure it’s a very small step.

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Start Managing Your Mind

At this stage, you need to start managing your mind.

Learn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talk which can destroy your confidence.

Further use and create strong mental images of what you'll feel and experience as you achieve your major goals !

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

And Then Commit Yourself to Success!

Make a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you are absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it.

If you find doubts, write them down and challenge them calmly and rationally. If they dissolve under scrutiny, that’s great.

However if they are based on genuine risks, make sure you set additional goals to manage these appropriately.

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

How to Increase Your Self-

Confidence

Some Important Points to

Increase Self ConfidenceAlthough many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to increase self confidence. By using these strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Tolerate reversals with

a positive frame of mind

1

Cocoon of a

butterfly

• Finding a cocoon of a butterfly. • Small opening appeared; sat and watched struggle

to force its body through that little hole. • No progress. It appeared as if it had gone as far as

it could. • Decision to help with a pair of scissors, snipping

off the remaining bit of the cocoon. • Butterfly emerged easily. • Swollen body and small, wrinkled wings. • Continued to watch expecting the wings would

enlarge and expand to be able to support the body,. • Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the

rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and wrinkled wings. It never was able to fly.

• Struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening was God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

• Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, we would not be as strong as what we could have been

Choose your friends well

2

Avoid individuals who suck your energy and diminish your confidence

Pessimists drag you down, as

do whiners and

critics

Cultivate friendship with a person who is closest

to you

Our most trustworth

y friend

FOOTPRINTS IN

THE SAND

• One night, a man had a dream of Walking on a beach with the Lord. • Two sets of footprints on the vast stretches of sand which he had

crossed. • One set of footprints, as his own; the other set, as the Lord's.• Scenes from his life flashed across his mind's eye, as he recalled his

past. • The spreads of sand behind him seemed to symbolise the life he had

lived till then.• At certain places, there was only one set of footprints on the sand.• He thought, "These were those critical moments in my life, when I was

in the depths of despair- all alone!"• And the thought struck him that the single set of footprints signified

that even the Lord had forsaken him, when he needed Him the most.• "Where were you. Lord?" he questioned. "How could you have

abandoned me during my most troubled times?"• "Look closely, my child," the Lord replied. "I love you and I would never

leave you." • Looking back once again, the man realized that the single set of

footprints were not his own, but the Lord's.• "My precious child, during times of trial and suffering, you see only one

set of footprints because that was when I carried you!"

Dwell on your

strengths & not on your weaknesses

3

Take risks:– Playing to your strengths is a

smart tactic but not if it means you hesitate to take on new challenges.

– Many people don't know what they are capable of until they are truly tested.

– Failure can be very useful for building confidence.

4

Get feedback when you need it:

– Ask someone who cares about your development as well as the quality of your performance to tell you what she thinks.

– Be sure to pick the right person.

5

Take a breakTake a break

• Take some time off to refresh, reflect, and enjoy– Find time to exercise regularly – go for a

run, hike, swim, …– Have a nice meal with friends/loved ones– Go shopping – buy that pair of shoes you’ve

been wanting, that tennis racket, …– Pamper yourself – get your nails done, have

a massage, …

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Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Dress Sharp

Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

Don’t spend a lot on clothes. “Spend twice as much, buy half as much”.

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Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Faster

One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? •People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. •Increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. •Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.

8

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Good Posture

People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence.

They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and don’t consider themselves important.

By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident.

Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

9

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Personal CommercialOne of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

10

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid.

Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine.

By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader.

11

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Work out

Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic.

By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive.

Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum for the day.

12

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Keep on Sharpening Your Skills13

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Focus on ContributionToo often we get caught up in our own

desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of others

Concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency.

The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.

14

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Sit in the front row

People constantly strive to sit at the back of the room.

Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence.

By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence.

You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room

15

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Preparation:Practice will help you to develop–Aptitude, –Positive attitude and–New skills.

–So Practice, Practice & PRACTICE

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Stick to your PrinciplesStick to your Principles

• Know your principles– Live the your Golden Rule– Live your passion

• Then actually live them

• If you don’t have something you believe in, you don’t have anything. If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.

17

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

The Imposter SyndromeThe Imposter Syndrome

• Regardless of success achieved or proof of competence, you are sometimes convinced that you do not deserve it – Proof is dismissed as luck, timing, or

a result of deceiving others

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Prof. Pardeep Kumar

In closing … Believe in In closing … Believe in yourselfyourselfNo one will believe in you until you

believe in yourself

“Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Sun Tzu

Think about what is important to you and where you want to go … and then Just go for it !

And, smile often

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Prof. Pardeep Kumar

"My mother drew a distinction between achievement and success.

She said that achievement is the knowledge that you have worked hard and done the best that is in you. Success is being praised by others ... Always aim for achievement and forget about

success.”Helen Hayes, Actress

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Prof. Pardeep Kumar