Etiquette For The Modern Girl & Guy

“She must not swing her arms as though they were dangling ropes; she must not switch herself this way and that; she must not shout; and she must not, while wearing her bridal veil, smoke a cigarette”

The Arizona Daily Star's headline of March 19, 2001, confirms it: "Stressed-out American society gives birth to rage of all kinds." Researchers and other experts find we're "an enraged society," they define "toxic" rage, and point out that "Irrational behavior by kids at school, by sports stars, by mom and dad, by people at work, has become the norm. Basically, we've created a breeding ground for violence."

An ABCNEWS/World News Tonight Poll confirms that most of us (85%) feel that a simple “thank you” and “please” would make the world a better place. And more than 8 out of 10 Americans “say the failure of parents to instruct their children in good behavior is a ‘major cause’ of bad manners” -- adults with kids are “as likely as those without to say that bad parenting is a major cause of bad manners."

Is there such a thing as childhood innocence? The Parents Television Council sees a lot more foul language and violence aimed at kids during the so-called family hour than most parents realize. Coarse language is up

78% since 1999 -- some 10 million kids on average watch TV from 8 - 9 PM.

Cuss is a four-letter word. These days, swearing in public is pervasive and foul language has become a habit for many -- with role models like sports stars, rock stars, celebrities, and cartoon characters leading the cultural decline. But some are swearing off swearing according to ABCNEWS.com.

“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.” Unknown

"When we talk about table manners, we're not necessarily talking about which fork to choose. We're talking … the manner in which you walk in, how you order your food, how you proceed through the meal, the conversation that you make at the table, whether it's appropriate or not … all those things tell people everything about you."

In a recent national poll by market research group Synovate, 68% of Americans claimed to observe poor cell phone etiquette at least once per day. Eighteen percent said they ran into poor e-mail etiquette. The study noted that the Americans showed the poorest etiquette when using the very devices they rely on the most (52% said they would “die” if their phones and e-mails were taken away). -- Forbes

The Girls’ Guide to Etiquette

MODERN

The Girls’ Guide to Etiquette

MODERN

(And Guys, too!)

So, what does it mean to be

modern?

The Modern Girl’s Etiquette Rule

Book

Preach It v. Teach It

!She always makes a GREAT impression


!She practices (UN)Common Courtesies


!She practices (UN)Common Courtesies

!She is a Modern Girl & He is a Modern Guy

Make a Great Impression

You only get one chance to make a first impression!

Don’t forget to Smile!

Stand Up Straight!

First Impressions Are About:


Confidence


ConfidenceCredibility


ConfidenceCredibility Preparation

Introductions

H E L L Omy name is

When someone joins the group, introduce them!


When introducing more than one person, introduce from most important to least important



If someone forgets you, introduce yourself!



If someone forgets you, introduce yourself!

When being introduced, stand up to shake hands

Introduction Uh-Ohs!If you forget someone’s name you have three options:


1. Be up-front


1. Be up-front

2. Bluff


1. Be up-front

2. Bluff

3. Cheat

When You Are Being Introduced1. Assume the position--

extend your hand and stand if necessary



2. Make eye contact



2. Make eye contact

3. Shake their hand



2. Make eye contact

3. Shake their hand

4. Express a Greeting



2. Make eye contact

3. Shake their hand

4. Express a Greeting

5. Converse

When You Are Being Introduced

AND . . . if the person introducing YOU has forgotten your name --HELP them out! by introducing yourself. They will really appreciate the gesture.

When You Are Being Introduced

AND . . . if the person you are with SHOULD introduce you and does not, it is OK to say “I don’t believe we have met.”

Make the first move!

When Shaking Hands

Technique


When Shaking Hands

Technique

Use a medium grip; not too loose & not too tight


When Shaking Hands

Technique

Use a medium grip; not too loose & not too tight

Make EYE CONTACT!!


When Shaking Hands

Modern Girls & Guys

Know:

“Those who are confident and assertive make the best first impressions!”

Modern Girls & Guys

Know:

Introduce Yourself!!

Small Talk


Plan a conversation starter




Ask Open-Ended questions



Listen!




Share and Share Alike

Listen!




Share and Share Alike

Listen!


Remember a person’s favorite topic is: Themselves

Conversation Killers“It’s all about me”

A.D.D. (Diagnosed or not)




One-Upmanship



Nosy Neighbor

One-Upmanship



Over-Discloser

Nosy Neighbor

One-Upmanship



Over-Discloser

Nosy Neighbor

One-Upmanship

Eddie the Expert

Oh my! What colorful language!

EFFIN’fudge

motherlovin’SHOOT

darnit

shishk

abob

Profanity Police

Profanity PoliceYour language says a lot about you. Remember:


1. Public spaces are not the place for a potty mouth



2. People are listening



2. People are listening

3. #$%@% shows very little imagination

Beyond Profanity

Four Letter words are not the only areas to consider:

Beyond Profanity


1. Do not use racial slurs, even in jest

Beyond Profanity



2. Words that target the disabled like “retard” are also bad form

Beyond Profanity




3. “Faggot”, “Homo”, “Dyke”, “Lesbo”: not cool to use as an insult. Period.

Beyond Profanity




3. “Faggot”, “Homo”, “Dyke”, “Lesbo”: not cool to use as an insult. Period.

4. Gender specific insults are a bad idea. “Bitch”, “Slut”, “Whore”, etc. serve no purpose.

Beyond Profanity

Dress Appropriately

Dress like . . .

. . . a Lady

Too Sexy

Too Sloppy

Too Sullen

Too Much Skin

Too Tattooed

Too Trendy

Dress like . . .

. . . a Gentleman

Too Saggy

Too Shaggy

Modern Girls & Guys

Know:

“Hygiene & Personal Grooming are just as important as how you are dressed”

Modern Girls & Guys

Know:

“Making a good impression counts ALL the time -from presentations to job interviews to on the job”

Modern Girls & Guys

Know:

Practice (UN)Common Courtesies

This is the perfect gift! I

love it!

Thank you SO much!

Oh no, you first! I insist!

Oh! You shouldn’t have!

Giving Gifts

When giving gifts please remember:

Giving Gifts


1. The Nature of the Relationship

Giving Gifts



2. Timing

Giving Gifts



2. Timing

3. The Magnitude of the gift should be in proportion to the relationship

Giving Gifts

Receiving Gifts

Etiquette is just as important when you receive!

Receiving Gifts


1. Two Responses: Great Pleasure/Greater Pleasure!

Receiving Gifts



2. Never ask how much something cost

Receiving Gifts



2. Never ask how much something cost

3. Tailor your “Thank You” to the occasion and the giver

Receiving Gifts

“Thank you!”

Never forget to say thank you!

“Thank you!”


If you are sending a card:

“Thank you!”



1. Write it immediately

“Thank you!”




2. Write it by hand

“Thank you!”




2. Write it by hand

3. Mention the gift by name and how you intend to use it

“Thank you!”

Thank you for flying the

friendly skies!

Thank you for flying the friendly skies!

When Boarding have EVERYTHING ready to go. If you are using the overhead bins, be courteous!


Don’t bring stinky food on to the plane to eat


Once in flight, if you want to recline your seat -- do it slowly


Do not kick, knee, or tap the seat in front of you


Get out of your seat only if necessary. “Excuse me,” is a nice touch when moving past people


On an international flight, be respectful of those who want to sleep


Unless you are delivering an organ via airplane, wait until you depart to use your cell phone


Let’s go out to the movies!

Let’s go out to the movie!

Don’t put your feet on the back of the chair in front of you


Likewise, don’t kick the seat in front of you


When traveling in a “pack” don’t enter and exit the theater 20 times, move seats in the theater, visit with another “pack” two rows up, etc.


Be as quiet as possible with your treats, especially opening packages of candy. AND . . . take your trash with you after the movie!


Do not TALK or TEXT on your phone during the movie


NO MATTER WHAT!

PERIOD! NONE!

I AM SERIOUS!

Always a courteous host

The Hostess with the Mostest

The Hostess with the MostestWhen hosting anyone in your home, remember:


1. Use discretion when extending an invitation



2. Be ready when guests arrive. No diva behavior allowed!



2. Be ready when guests arrive. No diva behavior allowed!

3. Introduce everyone to each other & help people make connections

The Hostess with the MostestWhen hosting anyone in your home remember

4. Circulate! Spend time with all your guests



5. Don’t take advantage of your parents’ hospitality



5. Don’t take advantage of your parents’ hospitality

6. No DRAMA!

The Guest who Gets Invited Back

Good Guests know the rules:


Good Guests know the rules:1. RSVP



2. Be Discreet



2. Be Discreet

3. Come on time but DO NOT COME EARLY



2. Be Discreet


4. Ask your host and hostess if you can bring anything (Alcohol & Drugs? Um . . .no. Ice/Cups/Soda? Yes!)



2. Be Discreet


4. Ask your host and hostess if you can bring anything (Alcohol & Drugs? Um . . .no. Ice/Cups/Soda? Yes!)

5. NEVER bring people who were not invited



The Guest who Gets Invited Back6. Don’t show up to a party you have no

intention of staying for.




7. Dress appropriately for the occasion





8. Offer to help clean up if you stay until the end





8. Offer to help clean up if you stay until the end

9. Don’t linger. When the Party is over--Go Home!



10. Don’t snoop. Stay out of medicine cabinets. Don’t go and explore without permission




11. Thank the host for their generosity




11. Thank the host for their generosity

12. Return the favor at a future date by being a host yourself. It is not cool to always be the guest and never be the host!

The Overnight Guest

When guests come to stay overnight...

A good host:


A good host:1. Has essentials stocked and ready:

shampoo/conditioner/toothpaste




2. Has a plan up front. Communicate before your guest arrive to find out their expectations & plans





3. Has their sleeping arrangements in order





3. Has their sleeping arrangements in order

4. Offers a beautifully appointed home. A messy room is not inviting





Good Guests know the rules:1. Bring what you need



2. Take what you bring




3. Do what your host does -- follow their lead





4. Be nice to everyone






5. Don’t go snooping







6. Make the bed before leaving







6. Make the bed before leaving

7. Don’t overstay your welcome


Modern Girls & Guys

Know:

“Common Courtesies like please, thank you, you’re welcome, yes maam, & yes sir are important, too!”

Modern Girls & Guys

Know:

She is a Modern Girl &He is a Modern Guy

I’ll pick you up at 7

Call me!OMG! LOL!

Technology

When Emailing

OMG! Use emoticons and texting slang sparingly

When Emailing


DO NOT SEND EMAILS IN ALL CAPS!!!!!!!

When Emailing



Carefully edit and remember that emails are always open to interpretation

When Emailing




Choose humor and sarcasm with care

When Emailing




Choose humor and sarcasm with care

When Emailing

Be careful who you reply to!

On the Phone

Put your phone on silent mode during class, church, dates, the movies, etc.

On the Phone


Be aware of your speaking volume

On the Phone



Avoid ring tones that are annoying or inappropriate (La Cucaracha, anyone?)

On the Phone




Do not text during class, church, a date, movie or public performance of any kind

On the Phone




Do not text during class, church, a date, movie or public performance of any kind

On the Phone

It’s very rude to take a call when you are with others; let it go to voicemail

On Facebook

Set boundaries for checking your facebook or other accounts

On Facebook


Do not use Facebook to air problems you have with other people

On Facebook



Be careful what you post

On Facebook




Don’t use a public forum for sensitive topics

On Facebook




Don’t use a public forum for sensitive topics

On Facebook

Be careful tagging people in your pictures

Modern Girls & Guys

Know:

“The way you present yourself ‘online’ or over the phone is just as important as who you are face to face.”

Modern Girls & Guys

Know:

Boy Meets Girl

Girl Meets Boy

First Date, Second Date....

The basics of dating:


The basics of dating:1. When asking for a date the best way is

face to face. Next is by phone. But Texting “wanna hang out Friday” is NOT a request for a date.




2. If you are picking up your date, come to the door. AND meet the parents




2. If you are picking up your date, come to the door. AND meet the parents

3. Have a plan in place. “What do you want to do?” is not a plan. If you asked for a date, you need to have a date planned.



First Date, Second Date....4. Don’t move too fast



5. Read the other person’s signals throughout the date



5. Read the other person’s signals throughout the date

6. When hanging out at each other’s home, be helpful!

1. No personal grooming during the date!

Girls:


2. Don’t discuss past relationships

Girls:



3. Be courteous. If he is paying, DO NOT

complain!

Girls:



3. Be courteous. If he is paying, DO NOT

complain!

4. If you are with other people, don’t ignore

him

Girls:

1. Getting ready for your big date? Two Words: Grooming and Hygiene

Guys:


2. Have a Plan! “So what do you want to do?” is not going to cut it.

Guys:



3. Yes, you should still open the door for your date. Not just on the first date.

Guys:




4. Tell your date she looks nice!

Guys:




4. Tell your date she looks nice!

5. Don’t rush through the meal. It isn’t a race

Guys:

6. If you are going to be around other people, don’t ignore her!

Guys:


7. Talk! But don’t dominate the conversation. Ask about HER too.

Guys:



8. Laugh at her jokes just as she will laugh at yours

Guys:




9. Above everything be RESPECTFUL OF YOUR DATE

Guys:




9. Above everything be RESPECTFUL OF YOUR DATE

10. Make sure you have enough gas in your car!

Guys:

Modern Girls & Guys

Know:

“Lots of dates take place over a meal. Good manners are beyond important when eating.”

Modern Girls & Guys

Know:

After the date...

Now what?

After the date...

Now what?

1. Don’t kiss and tell

After the date...

Now what?


2. If you promise to call, then call

After the date...

Now what?



3. If you aren’t interested in a second date or a relationship, be honest!

After the date...

Now what?



3. If you aren’t interested in a second date or a relationship, be honest!

4. Call but don’t STALK. STALKING is bad

manners.

After the date...

The Big Break Up

How do you do it right?

The Big Break Up


1. For goodness sakes, do it face to face

The Big Break Up



2. Don’t accuse or lay blame

The Big Break Up




3. Don’t advertise on FB

The Big Break Up




3. Don’t advertise on FB

4. Don’t start engaging in such bad behavior that you force the other

person to break up first. Don’t be a coward!

The Big Break Up

What is a gentleman?modern day

Always offers help

Always offers help

Makes eye

contact with

others

Always offers help

Makes eye

contact with

others

Speaks

Clearly

; Doe

sn’t mu

mble

Always offers help

Makes eye

contact with

others

Speaks

Clearly

; Doe

sn’t mu

mble

Takes off his cap in public

Always offers help

Makes eye

contact with

others

Speaks

Clearly

; Doe

sn’t mu

mble


Acknowle

dges

Adults

Always offers help

Makes eye

contact with

others

Speaks

Clearly

; Doe

sn’t mu

mble


Acknowle

dges

Adults

Doesn’t talk with

food in his mouth

What is a modern day

lady?

She has self respect


She has

social grace

s


She has

social grace

s

Her app

earanc

e say

s “I”m

confiden

t!”


She has

social grace

s

Her app

earanc

e say

s “I”m

confiden

t!”

She’s able to engage others


She has

social grace

s

Her app

earanc

e say

s “I”m

confiden

t!”


Never for

gets

that othe

rs

matter


She has

social grace

s

Her app

earanc

e say

s “I”m

confiden

t!”


Never for

gets

that othe

rs

matter

Shares her opinions

without offending

So what is modern?

“Today’s modern day girl and guy are not defined by celebrity

or the changing winds of fashion. They know that a

balance of style and substance are essential. The modern day

girl and guy knows who they are and that they are connected to

the bigger picture. They are always considerate of others”

Education

Etiquette For The Modern Girl & Guy