ASSERTIVENESS

ASSERTIVENESS

Assertiveness is the courage to be ourselves and show the world our

likes and dislikes, our thoughts and feelings and shortcomings.

ASSERTIVENESSAssertive people have the

following characteristics:They feel free to express their

feelings, thoughts and desires.They know their rights.They have control over their anger. They have a good understanding of

feelings.

Why Assertiveness is Important?Effective communication brings about

the achievement.Assertiveness increases your ability

to reach these goals.

AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE

Aggressive people are:Expresses point of view arrogantly, as if

no other is possible.Tends to dismiss or ignore the opinions

or feelings of others.Believes one’s own needs are most

important.Feels powerful when dominating others.

BEHAVIOUR ASPECTS

Assertive people are direct, honest and expressive. They feel confident, gain self respect and make others feel valued.

Aggressive people humiliate others, and elicit either pity or scorn from others.

Assertive People Learn To

Express their feelings.Ask for favors.Give and receive

complements.Request behavior changes.Refuse unreasonable request.

What is keeping you from being assertive???Fear of change.Refusal to admit their

submissiveness.Fear of ruining relationships if you

speak your mind.Lack of confidence in your ability.

Assertive word choices:Use “I” statements rather than “You”

statements.Use factual descriptions instead of

judgment or exaggeration.Express thoughts, feelings and

opinions reflecting ownership.Use clear, direct request.

Body language as related to assertive behavior.1)Eye contact and facial expression: Maintain direct eye contact, appear interested

and alert, but not angry.

2) Posture: Stand or sit erect, possibly leaning forward

slightly.

3) Distance and contact:

Stand or sit at a normal conversational distance from the other.

Body language as related to assertive behavior.4)Gestures: Use relaxed, conversational gestures.

5) Voice: Use a factual, not emotional tone of

voice. Sound determined and full of conviction, but not overbearing.

Handling Criticism

• Fogging• Negative Assertion

CRITICISM

Usually people react to criticism

by

avoiding it,

Taking it to heart

or

by reacting aggressively to it.

Tips to handle criticism:Face and listen to criticism rather than

avoiding it.Don't take it to heart.React calmly and respect others rights.Be prepared for constructive criticism.This does not include blaming, put-downs

or attempting to hurt someone.

Fogging

A skill that teaches acceptance of manipulative criticism by calmly acknowledging to your critic the probability that there may be some truth in what he says. Yet allows you to remain your own judge of what you do.

Fogging

• Requires some self-control.• Stay calm in the face of criticism,

and agreeing with what may be fair and useful in it.

• By refusing to be provoked and upset by criticism, you removed its destructive power.

Negative Assertion A Skill that teaches acceptance of

your errors and faults without having to apologize by strongly agreeing with criticism your negative qualities.

AssertListen- Understand, put yourself in

others shoes and ask for clarification.Keep calm- deep breaths, take your

time, and allow others to express their feelings.

Be prepared- Stick to the facts.Compromise- try and find a “win- win”

situation.

Assert Remember that just because someone

says something you don’t have to believe it.

Put a stop to the put-down as soon possible.

Choose to leave the situation. Be open to negotiations and having the ability to accept constructive criticism.

BY:

S.E.CHEM.GROUP 3