Let's talk

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Taking stock of what matters and what weve achieved in our lives is a great way to get started on one of lifes most important subjects. You and your family have worked hard to create the life you want. Now might be a good time to have a conversation.

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<ul><li> 1. third Edition Lets Talk Conversations that make a difference. Now and in your future.INsIde 2Big TopicsBig RewardsDealing with lifes big decisions 6What IfDont be afraid of change 9The Ideal EquationWhat does it take? Single? Married? 10 Tips &amp; InsightsReplacement income Brought to you byhas no gender113025 11/12/10</li></ul><p> 2. Talking aboutbig topicsTaking stock of what matters and what weveachieved in our lives is a great way to get started onone of lifes most important subjects. You and yourfamily have worked hard to create the life you want.Now might be a good time to have a conversation2 genworth.com/lets-talk 3. brings big rewards. about what it will take to preserve what youve created once youre gone. Think of it as an opportunity to make sure the people and things you care about continue to be cared for, so that a tough time isnt tougher than it needs to be. Why not start the conversation? What is your main source ofmake us a bit uncomfortableits natural to feel uncomfort-ablebut theres a wonderful sense of security to be gained. happiness? What makes you smile? Talk freely and listen closely. Its human nature to put off Who or what make up the most important part of your world? dealing with big life decisions. We all do it. And this particu- Have you ever asked yourself that question? Have you ever posedlar subject is often one people put off. But life is unpredict- the question to someone you love? Maybe it goes without saying able. The more you talk and listen, the more options will reveal that family and loved ones are your number one priority, and themselves and often, the richer and more intimate the expe- that a particular lifestyle is central to your happiness. What is it rience can be. When it comes to sitting down and making a for you that takes precedence over everything else?plan, be easy on yourself. Youll sort it out. Knowing the answer allows you to put your energy and resources Take a look at the life youve created, plan how it might un- where your values are and plan accordingly. Once your priorities fold without you, then get back to the business of enjoying are in clear focus youll have an easier time making the decisions it. Share your thoughts and ask those you love to share theirs. that best support them.Explore your optionsweigh the pros and cons. After youve given this question some thought, you may want to share what matters most to you with the people who matterThe important thing is to simply begin. most. To think it goes without saying isnt always true. Give yourself permission Lets Talk is a way of encouraging you to considersome of lifes big issues, and a means of giving for a short time out.you some of the tools you may need to have theseconversations. Your familys financial future is one Life moves incredibly fast these days and as a result we rarelyof these big issues, and likely has a lot of different stop to consider what were moving towards, and consideringparts. We hope youll see the subject as rich and how were living. Are we enjoying the pleasure and clarity interesting, worthy of thoughtful consideration, andnot a problem to be solved. To that end, youll find that comes from being still long enough to think? Are we tak-tips, advice and ideas to help get the ball rolling. That ing the time to check in and really engage with the people wesaid, this is not something that has to be done all at care about? Are we putting our energy and resources where ouronce, it doesnt have to be done today. But its good values are? These questions may require looking at things that to put it on your radar and get started. genworth.com/lets-talk3 4. The# 1 Fact of LifeYou know how they say there are only two guarantees in life, and taxes is one of them? Well, this is about the other one.To be cleardeath. Its perfectly okay that looking at this subject might make you uneasy. But planning for the end doesnot make it come sooner, in fact it might even have the opposite effectone less thing to worry about. Being able todecide right now how you want your family to live, and how you want to be remembered, might be challenging, probablywill require some time and maybe even professional advice, but its also empowering, even liberating. Fresh perspectives on a tough topic: The good news? There doesnTyo u c a n p u T yo u r m o n e y h av e T o b e a n y b a d n e w s . w h e r e yo u r h e a r T i s .When you start talking about life and what comes after youre gone,Too often when we think about financeswhether short or longstay positive and upbeat. After all, its not your imminent demise termwe jump straight into the nuts and bolts instead of thinkingyoure talking about. Youre simply taking advantage of this mo- about what kind of opportunity we really have. If family is the mostment and this opportunity to help secure your familys future and aimportant thing in your life, isnt this an opportunity to show it?particular way of being remembered. If youre having the conver- Certainly you do your best to provide for their current needs, butsation with a spouse, you might learn things about each other that this is your chance to be proactive about their future. do you havesurprise and delight you. Maybe the idea of someday downsizing a savings account or a college fund? do your most importantyour home and lifestyle would be desirable. Perhaps this is your things occupy an equally important place in your budget? haveopportunity to leave money to causes that have always been dearyou made sure that youre not leaving your family in debt orto your heart but that you werent able to give a big enough place struggling? These are questions worth thinking about andif youin your budget. Just as with planning for retirement, planning how havent alreadydoing something about.your family will carry on and how youll be remembered is up to you.4genworth.com/lets-talk 5. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today.3 Good reasons to talkabout the future today.Who to talk to. How to start: -1- Tomorrow doesnt Thoughts for come with a guarantee. rewarding discussions.-2-The sooner you start Open up the conversation. planning, the moreEven though this is about what happens when you are no longer here, itsconfident youll feel.good to think of it as a collaboration. If youre married, youll probably wantto include your spouse in the planning process because of the impact your -3-passing will have. You may want to include your children, depending on Your and your familystheir age. And they may want to take part, if only to be reassured that all financial sense ofwill be well, or to understand what is planned for their future. You may alsosecurity can neverwant to think about this topic in reverse. Think and talk about how your come too soon.spouses passing would impact you and your family. Talk about how youshould collaborate with your spouse in his or her planning process.Think about all who will need to be involved in your plans, and not just inThe conversationan emotional way, but a logistical way as well. You may want to considerincluding your support groupclose friends, parents, neighbors, siblings,may be hard to start,godparentspeople your loved ones would call on in a time of need. If you but no one ever regretshave an attorney, a banker, or a financial advisor, you may want to let themhaving done it.know what you have in mind, and ask their advice. Its very normal for thisto sound daunting, but, as with most of lifes big issues, the more input youget, the more grounded the decisions youre likely to make.genworth.com/lets-talk5 6. Two little wordsthat spark great, big conversations:What if?Often we avoid what if talkbecause it recognizes that thingscould change, that there mightsomeday be a shift in the status-quo. But asking what if? canlead to rich and important con-versations and its also a way ofmaking or revising plans.Some what ifs might be What if I died When their children were three and five, Lorraine and Tim started thinkingfirst? What do you think youd do? Would about the what ifssuch as a scenario in which Tim was not present. They were about half way through discussing their plansall of them based on having to replace Tims incomeyou want to stay in the house? What if I when Lorraine said, Wait a minute, are we missing something? Though he made a goodhad a life insurance policy? What wouldliving, if Lorraine were to die Tims income might be diminished if he decided to work lessyou use that money to cover? Would thatin order to spend more time home with the kids. He would most likely need help with the children, and living expenses would certainly not go away. Tims job required a fair bitbe enough? What can I do now to make of travel, so somebody would have to stay with the children. Tim would, essentially,things easier in the short term and long be covering the duties of both a wife and mother. In the end, two life insurance policiesterm? Chances are good that giving voiceseemed like a wiser decision.to various possibilities, then deciding ona game plan, will be a very comforting The idea is to trouble shoot as much as possibleexercise, now and later. now so that one of lifes most emotional times isnt also full of questions and confusion.Womens life insurance coverage is 63% that of men.Limra, 2005 us ownership sTudy6 genworth.com/lets-talk 7. Whatever you say, people respond differently. Talking to the significant people in your life about this important topic will be: easy, fun, like pulling teeth, the stuff of high drama, a non-event.Here are some common types of reactions and how to make sure its aconstructive conversation.Talkingto the Kids 5They understandCommon Personality Styles more than you think.1. T h e e T e r n a L o p T i m i sT These types will make it easy on you. Theyre the ones who never heard anything they couldnt put a positive spin on. Oh good, youre taking care of things! And besides, it wont happen for a long, long time. While everyone loves an optimist, its important to make sure they are hearing you. Tell them you appreciate their up-beat attitude, and that youre counting on them to keep spirits up when your family and friends need it most. Giving them a definite role that so accurately matches their personality will serve to make the situation real not imminent, just something that will require and benefit from their participation. Childrens personalities developearly on. some are always care-free, some are born worriers. But2. The perpeTuaL pessimisTno matter how your child ap- Despite daily evidence to the contrary, theyre always looking up, expecting chunks of sky proaches life, its important to to hit them. The mere mention of the D word will have them putting on their funeralconsider how you would have a attire, which is probably freshly pressed and hanging toward the front of the closet.conversation with a child abouta life without youand just as What can you do? As usual, youll need to be the voice of reason. Let them knowimportant, when you would have that this is something you dont anticipate happening anytime soon, but that yousuch a conversation. feel so much better to be taking care of things now. Thank them for taking the situation seriouslythis puts a positive spin on their negative outlook. A childs age and maturity levelwill play a critical role in deter-3. The nodder mining when, how and what youdiscuss. Chances are good that These folks engage quickly enough, but you can tell theyre just going along.at some point he or she might They certainly appear to be listening and understanding still, you wonder if theyreask, What if something happens simply being polite, because for whatever reason, they may not be truly engaged. to you? Where would I live? Repeat yourself to make sure youve been heard. Next, look them in the eye and having a confident answer may say, Thank you for listening so well. Now Id really like to hear what you think. be a source of great comfort to The gentle directness of this gesture invites a focused engagement.you both.4 . T h e p r o c r a s T i n aT o r They sense a serious discussion coming on. Suddenly they have to clean the gutters, or wash the unwilling cat, or one of a million other things that you both know can wait.If stay-at-home Resolute directness is required here. Assure them its not bad news, just importantmoms got paid a stuff. Make a date to talk and insist they stick to it no matter what. Better, yet, ask them to give you a time when it would be convenient to talk. Often, what a procras-fair wage for the tinator really needs is time to digest the idea of talking and not the talking itself.services they provide5. The JoKerit would be almost Some people manage to make light of even the heaviest subjectsits their way$138,095 per year. of processing things. So let them do just that, but at some point make sure theyhTTp://arTicLes.moneycenTraL.msn.com/ understand how important this is to you. coLLegeandFamiLy/raiseKids/ThepriceoFamom.aspx, ocTober, 2008,viewed ocTober, 2010 They clearly prefer to keep things light, so work within that realm. Go along for a few minutes. Let them know you enjoy their lighthearted approach to everything.Then pause and softly say, Can we talk about something serious?This allows fun-loving types to remain so, while still taking care of a matter that is important to both of you. genworth.com/lets-talk 7 8. Dont lose that thought. What to talk about, what to consider.h o w d o yo u wa n Tfinancial future, recent research shows that thereTo be remembered?is not a one-size-fits-all formula. People who have received money from life insurance policies sayThis is another important question. Will you be they really needed twice as much as was plannedremembered as somebody who led by example? for. In short, nothing takes the place of figuringA giver? someone who delighted in the success out your unique situation and thinking about bothof others and took steps to promote it? A person short term and long term needs.who took care of things? To a great extent, howyou will be remembered is up to you. If youre married, do you want your spouse to have the choice of working or working less? Ifh o w w i L L yo u r Lov e d youve always been a caretaker, your familyso n e s F u T u r e Lo o K ? financial security beyond your years will letFor whomever you leave behind, no doubt your your loved ones know that youre still on thewish is for their lives to be filled with possibilityjob. The important thing is to empower yourand devoid of struggle. While some experts sug-loved ones, to leave them with the ability andgest purchasing 5 10 times your annual salarythe means to make choices that are not basedin life insurance coverage to secure your familys on financial constraints.Just because you dont have dependentsdoesnt mean you dont have concerns.If youre single, what obligations will remain after youre gone? do you have parents or rela-tives you want to take care of? Are the...</p>