These are

tearable

puns.

Tim

e fl

ies

like

an

arr

ow

. Fr

uit

flie

s lik

e a

ban

ana.

Ener

gize

r B

un

ny

arre

sted

- ch

arge

d w

ith

bat

tery

!

I use

d t

o w

ork

as

a lu

mb

erja

ck, b

ut

I co

uld

n’t

hac

k it

,

so t

hey

gav

e m

e th

e ax

e.

Peo

ple

hav

e af

fair

s ju

st t

o b

reak

th

e m

on

oga

my.

A g

oss

ip is

so

meo

ne

wit

h a

gre

at s

ense

of

rum

or.

Wit

ho

ut

geo

met

ry, l

ife

is p

oin

tles

s.

If e

lect

rici

ty c

om

es f

rom

ele

ctro

ns,

do

es m

ora

lity

com

e fr

om

mo

ron

s?

Sea

cap

tain

s d

on’t

like

cre

w u

ts.

Two

fis

h a

re in

a t

ank.

On

e sa

ys t

o t

he

oth

er “

You

dri

ve.

I’ll

man

th

e gu

ns!”

A t

hre

e-l

egge

d d

og

com

es in

to t

he

old

wes

t sa

loo

n

and

say

s “A

h’m

loo

kin’ f

er t

he

man

wh

o s

ho

t m

ah

paw

!”