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There is hope, even -

WHEN YOUR SPOUSE W A L K S O U T ! !

he one you love, that onewho stood and made acovenant with you to, love,honor and cherish, 'til death

do us part has left. Your visionsof a happy family and of a futuretogether have been shattered. Twofamilies each minute are beingdestroyed by divorce. This

epidemic is reaching once-happyho me s , le a v in g be hi ndbrokenhear ted spouses andchildren.

Everyone seems to offer advice,but no one has a solution. Wheredo you turn? Who will help you?What do you do? Yes, you willsurvive. Yes, there is helpavailable.

In 1985, myhusband, Bob, becamethe Prodigal Son of our family, ashe left his home, wife and threechildren, in an attempt to start allover again with someone new.

The hurt that followed cannot bedescribed. Only one who's beenthere knows the emotions thatfollow separation. We experience,fear, rejection,anger,hopelessness,and yes, even a bit of hope.

That glimmer of hope became thefoundation of my stand for arestored marriage. That stand formarriage restoration was fulfilledtwo years after our divorce wasfinal. That day we stood in ourpastor's office and were, onceagain, pronounced man and wife.

That hope for marriage restoration

Tdid not belong to our family alone.It is available for you. Yes,divorces do take place, but evenmore important, families are alsobeing restored. Don't bury yourmarriage when there's still life in it.Granted, your relationship mayneed some resuscitation, as didours a few years ago, but it can be

healthy again.

D O N ' T L O O K A T

CIRCUMSTANCES - Yourcircumstances may, as did mine,look impossible. There wasanother person involved. Myhusband wanted out. He wasunwilling to work on our marriage.He had declared clearly, by wordand deed, how little our familymeant to him. Looking atcircumstances would cause bothyou and I to give up. Look to therealistic hope of a restoredmarriage, not to that mountain ocircumstances.

ZIP THE LIPS - Although it'sa bit harsh, scores have found thatto be good advice. Many a spousehave found the way back homemade difficult by words strewn to

others by a hurting and abandonedmate. Find one friend, of the samesex, one who will allow you toverbalize every hurt; one who willwalk with you in confidencethrough this frightening valley.Share the details of your presentmess of a marriage with thisperson alone.

DON'T TAKE SURVEYS - I

was guilty, as are many others, odetermining solutions to ourmarriage problems bytakingsurveys.Listen up, for God's direction,instead of listening around to otherpeople. As you accept suggestionsfrom others, you are allowing thatperson to live out your life for you.Additionally, no one can offer

suggestions until they hear details,and youre not sharing details.

KEEP A JOURNAL - Start todayto write out your thoughts. Allow aninexpensive notebook to becomeyour best friend; one who will hearevery hurt and never make acomment. In the days ahead, you'llbe able to look back and realize theprogress that you've made in yourstand for marriage restoration.

LIVE AS THOUGH MARRIED -Your spouse leaving home or even adivorce, does not validate yourdating. Spend these days working onyourself instead of finding someoneelse. Many prodigal spouses havefound the way home to be blocked bytheir mates having found someoneelse.

SEEK SUPPORT - There are

ministries available to help you standfor marriage restoration, even whenyour spouse has no desire towork onthe marriage. They focus on helpingthe offended party in a hurtingrelationship. These ministries canoffer books, cassette tapes,testimonies of others and telephoneencouragement to help you stand foryour marriage.

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LOVEUNCONDITIONALLY -

Love your spouse with anunconditional love; a love notbased on the actions of your mate.Love your spouse not because ofwhat is being done, but regardlessof what is being done. You canfind the strength to continue tolove when the conditions are putaside. I loved Bob even when heappeared most unlovable to theworld. I loved him even when hisactions were hurting our family.Unconditional love helped myprodigal find his way home.

TURN TO GOD FOR HIS

HELP - The greatest help that'savailable for your marriage comes

from God. When couples separate,one mate turns to God and theother usually turns away. AskingGod for His solution will provideyou more help than can beimagined. Since our remarriage,we have discovered from entries inmy journal, and in Bob's diary, ofthe many time while we weredivorced that my prayers werebeing effective in Bob's life.

TAKE HEART - Prodigals DOcome home. During those early,hurting days of our separation, Idid not know that on July 7, 1987,my husband would knock on myoffice window, invite me to go tolunch with him, and that I wouldreturn a couple hours laterremarried to the husband of myyouth.

I wish it were possible for me to

put an arm around your hurtingshoulders, give a hug, andencourage you to stand for yourmiracle as well. You and yourspouse deserve better than thehurting world of divorce. AllowGod to be your spouse for thisseason, as your marriage is beingrestored. He cares and I care.

- Charlyne Steinkamp

ABOUT THE STEINKAMPS

Charlyne Steinkamp, along with herhusband, Bob, are co-founders ofRejoice Marriage Ministries, based inPompano Beach, Florida. TheMinistry was birthed from theirpersonal experience with separationand divorce, followed withremarriage to each other in 1987.

Bob and Charlyne have writteneighteen books on marriagerestoration.Thousands ofCharlynesBible teaching tapes go around theworld each year.

Each day, Charlyne Cares, a freeemail devotional is prepared andsent to subscribers inmanycountries.

Rejoice MarriageMinistries sponsorstwo radio programs, God Heals

Hurting Marriages, a daily fiveminute bit of encouragement, and

Fight For Your Family, a weekly30minute Bible Study. Both can beheard onhttp://rejoiceministries.org/stop_divorce_radio/

There is help waiting for you from

Rejoice Marriage Ministries.Contact them today.

When your marriage is falling apart,you may need an altar more than anattorney.

- Charlyne Steinkamp

REJOICE MARRIAGEMINISTRIES

Post Office Box 10548

Pompano Beach, FL 33061 USA

www.rejoiceministries.org

www.stopdivorce.org

www.charlynecares.net

Be strong and courageous. Donot be afraid or terrified becauseof them, for the Lord God goeswith you. He will never leave younor forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6

A STANDERS

AFFIRMATION

I am standing for the healing ofmy marriage. I will not give up,give in, give out or give over 'tilthat healing takes place. I made avow. I gave myself, I trusted God,said the words and meant thewords ... in sickness and in health,

in sorrow and in joy, for better orfor worse, for richer or for poorer,in good times and in bad.

I refuse to put my eyes onoutward circumstances, or listentoprophets of doom, or buy intowhat is trendy, worldly, popular,convenient, easy, quick, thrifty oradvantageous, nor will I settle fora cheap imitation of God's real

thing.

In a world of filth, I will staypure; surrounded by lies, I wills pe ak t he t r ut h; w he rehopelessness abounds, I will hopein God; where revenge is easier, Iwill bless instead of curse.

I will allow neither the reactionof myspouse, nor the urging ofmyfriends, nor the advice of myloved

ones, nor economic hardships tomake me let up, slow up, blow upor give up til my marriage ishealed! (Author Unknown)

...So guard yourself in your spirit,and do not break faith with the wifeof your youth. I hate divorce, saysthe Lord God of Israel.

Malachi 2:15-16