TMAG Volume 1 Issue 38

Dhaka Tribune Tuesday, January 14, 2014 Volume 1, Issue 38

TMAG TU ESDAY, JAN UARY 14, 2014

Lungi-chaap meaning pervertExampleGirl 1- I think the man over there is eyeing you.Girl 2- Aw man, he’s such a lungi-chaap!

I’ve got that funny feeling

PhotograherSaudia AfrinModelNajmal A Nadvi

About the cover

A weekly production ofDhakaTribune

EditorZafar Sobhan

Magazine EditorSabrina Fatma Ahmad

TMAG TeamSabiha Mahmud SumiRubab Nayeem KhanMunira FidaiNatasha RahmanSaudia AfrinTahsin MominBaizid Haque JoarderFuad M Hossain

ContributorsImtiaz Salim

GraphicsSabiha Mahmud SumiMohammed Mahbub Alam

Colour SpecialistShekhar MondalKazi Syras Al Mahmood

ProductionMasum Billah

AdvertisingShahidan Khurshed

CirculationWahid Murad

Email: [email protected], Website: www.dhakatribune.com

4 Look of the Week All black, everything

8 Written in the Stars Ahmad Ashik

More insideGoSSIP12 Blush Much12 Dear Diary

PIcKS oF the WeeK2 Room of the week Zeenat Ameen3 Doodle of the week Sami Islam10 Guitar tabs of the week “Lights on” by David Cook

Your WorLD5 FFPB Week 205 Car Talk Hennessey Venom GT9 Fiction Strange love9 Non-fiction Unusual Origins for Usual Sayings9 Comic book Meet the Somalis by Benjamin Dix9 Book The Carpet Makers by

Andreas Eschbach9 Introducing The Boy10 Spotlight Trainwreck10 Music The Dark Funeral

10 Instrument Santoor 11 Screening DIFF’s film screening for children 11 TV Sherlock 11 Movie We’re the Millers 11 Gadget Breffo camera kit

FAShIoN4 Beauty check Curve it up 4 Wardrobe check Dress the part

reAL LIFe3 Events8 Written in the Stars Salman Farsi

tMAG SAYS2 Funk up your room Masking canvas 2 FYI Five ways to perk up your mood3 School Survival Speaking in style10 Playlist Top ten runaway tunes 12 Choose or lose your other half

horoScoPeS5 Your forecast

At TMAG, we’ve found that in situations of extreme stress, we break out into hysterical bouts of laughter, and suddenly, life isn’t so bad. Because we’ve just left behind an extremely chaotic year, we decided to let loose this week with an issue that celebrates laughter.

We’re decoding the joke in Hot Topic (Page 6&7), and in Written in the Stars, we share a few laughs with a comedian (Page 8). This is also a happening week for artsy young folks. Check out our event tweets (Page 3) and our recommended event (Page 11) for deets.

Love what we’re doing? Chime in on our Facebook page www.facebook.com/dhakatribunetmag Like, share and comment to keep us on our toes. Got stuff for us? Send your flash fiction, doodles, and room pics to [email protected]

Love from the TMAG desk

Editor’s note

My bed is so possessive, it holds me captive every morning.

Status of the week

That moment when you throw your phone out of rage and then check whether it’s still working

Quote of the week

Lingo of the week

Dear Readers,

6 hot topic Laugh out loud


NAMeZeeNAt AMeeN

AreAGuLShAN

Masks are a great pick-me-up for pillars and other structural supports within a room. They can take an awkwardly placed visual obstruction and make it

into a focal point.

FYI

Your Life2 tmag

TMAG’s Room of the week!

FivE ways to pErk up your mood

Unfortunately, the shapes of some masks can make them tricky to hang them on walls. Putting them up on walls sometimes requires a little bit of creative engineering tailored to the shape and size of the mask. Luckily for you though, TMAG is here to help you out by lending a hand.

Funk up your room

masking canvasMasks are art forms with designs that unite many cultures, include many colour schemes and incorporate several aesthetic styles, making them the perfect choice for appealing wall decor

Disarm with that smileSpread an instant sense of warmth when you let your lips curve into a dazzling smile. As you enter a classroom, smile at everyone around you. Make it a point to smile at your staff at home, your guard downstairs, and even smile at fellow students that you may not know. Don’t scare people with the “crazy eyes-baring-all your-teeth” disaster; instead a little smile on your face will have so many people returning that gesture. If they don’t reciprocate, well, they just missed out on a great feeling.

A bite for twoUnless you are a hog and can’t bear to part with your king sized meal, share a meal with a friend who is strapped for cash or has forgotten to carry lunch money. There’s a saying- when a meal is shared between people, although it may not seem to be enough, at the end of it, you will be more than sated.

The funny boxIf life is poking you in all the wrong

places, tune onto a funny commercial on YouTube, old videos of you and your family, or with your friends, or just watch your favourite sitcoms - let your worries smear to dust!

Music and dessertsNothing can give you that unbeatable high than an iPod playing your favourite playlist and a gooey chocolate brownie or a creamy tiramisu or some chocolate chip cookies and vanilla syrup. Cut out that piece of brownie slowly, put it in your mouth and savour it bit by bit - the best way to enjoy your dessert.

Send a thank you noteThere are countless people you may have taken for granted and have never looked back on to say thank you. Try to think of the sweet gestures they have done for you and send them a thank you note. No matter how small the gesture may have been, thank them for being so kind. You can’t imagine how this small gesture of thanking them can go a long, long way!

Natasha RahmaN

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While most of us have to deal with hairsplitting issues of a broken nail, a bad hair day, and a rant on how cold it is on Facebook, it’s time these petty little issues are kicked to the curb for good. Let TMAG show you how to live a little, everyday!

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saudia afrin

Nail it down• Pressthemasktothewall.Ifpossible,

tilt it so that the forehead and eye area rests flat against the wall.

• Pokeapencilthrougheacheyeholeto make marks on the wall. Centre the pencil marks in each eye as best as possible.

• Setthemaskaside.• Driveanailintoeachpencilmark

using a hammer. Insert each nail about a quarter of an inch. You might want to go slightly deeper when using large nails for heavier masks.

• Hangthemaskonthenails,threading them through the eyes. Adjust the angle of the mask by nudging it gently from side to side for the desired position.

Tape it sideways • Cutarectangularpieceofcardboard

fitted to the mask’s size. Make it roughly as wide as the space between the two eyes of the mask and as tall as the mask itself.

• Attachthecardboardtotheinsideofthe mask, in the space between the eyes, using double-sided tape.

• Cutanotheridenticalcardboardrectangle. Glue it to the first and keep repeating this until you’ve added enough layers that the card board will touch the wall when you press against it.

• Letthegluedry.• Attach the mask to the wall using

double-sided tape.

Hang it up• Tieapieceofstringfirmlyonthe

rear of the mask so that it stretches across the mask and forms a tight line.

• Cutarectangularstripofcardboard.It should be about as wide as the distance between the outside edges and the mask’s eyes and two inches high.

• Tapethepaperboardtothecentreofthe string with masking tape.

• Hangthepaperboardonthewallusing a wall hook.

tahsiN momiN


EVENT TwEETs

SchooLogiSticS 3tmag

School Survival

Topic-checkKnowing your material is key. A good speaker is one who is well researched about their topic and also goes a step ahead to read up on related issues.

Knowing more about your subject will also add to what you have put on paper. Keep your audience happy with witty humour but stick to your subject matter. Since the average attention span of a

teen short, keep your golden words limited to that time frame.

Surroundings- checkKnow your audience and know where you will be speaking. It may be a simple classroom presentation or it may be an elaborate, recorded deal complete with microphones and screens. Listening to your own voice amplified a hundred times over artificially, can unnerve the best of us. So can watching ourselves on a big screen, make us self-conscious. Get over the fear by recording yourself on a video camera as you speak. Work out the kinks from there on.

Relate to audience-checkSmile and greet some of your audience as they come in. It is easier to speak to a room full of friends than to a room full of strangers. Use simple, conversational language that the audience can relate to. Understand that the audience wants you to succeed; they are there to hear something stimulating and informative. Make it worth the opportunity cost of the myriad of other things they could have done instead of coming to listen to you. Look at people when you speak - their facial expressions will tell you how you’re doing. Ignore nervous fumblings, most of the audience won’t notice it.

muNiRa Fidai

spEaking in stylEThe fear of public speaking comes in all forms. There are those that will have you restlessly moving, those that will make you flushed and weak at the knees, some that will keep the flow of “umms” and “aahs” going and finally those that will keep you in the loop for hours. However, there also exist those squeaky clean and polished orators that can put your neighbourhood Obama wannabes to shame. Let’s see how they do the impossible

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“39th DMP Raising Day”- Youth Debate Carnival-2014January 15 Venue Dhaka Metropolitan Police, 36, Shaheed Captain Mansur Ali Swarony, Ramna

BRAC Bank Women’s OpenJanuary 16 Venue BRAC University

“Rivers of the World” Public Art Exhibition January 16-21, 3:30pm-8:30 pm Venue Robindra Sarobor, Dhanmondi

BDcollectors Gaming TournamentJanuary 16-18, 4pm-7pm Venue BDcollectors, House-53, Road-12, Sector-13 Uttara

Aloha National Level CompetitionJanuary 17 Venue Aloha Genius Children, House-39, Road-4/A, Dhanmondi

BDCyclists Qualifying Race January 17, 8am-2pm Venue Batash Chacha, Sector-15, Uttara

Dialogue on Election Economy January 19, 3:30pm Venue BRAC University

Involving youths

A two day conference on environment and climate change has been held at ULAB, campus A, from January 10-11. BGreen’s primary aim is to connect energetic Bangladeshi students, professionals and citizens on the issue of climate change and the environment in an organised platform. The whole programme comprised of panels, activities, film screening, workshops, and art exhibition by professionals. The conference successfully ended up with the participation of 100 students aged 16-22. The programme was moderated by the lead organiser Fadia Hasan.

The British Council Bangladesh and Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation (HSBC) Limited in Bangladesh jointly launched “Rivers of the World” artwork exhibition – a river-thematic global exhibition on January 16, 2014 at Rabindra Sarabar, Dhanmondi, Dhaka.

In this programme, students participating from each nation create and exhibit their own artworks based on a selected river from the country.

The programme is initiated by

Thames Festival Trust, British Council Connecting Classrooms, and HSBC Global Education Programme. The Bangladesh phase of the project is conducted under direct supervision of artist Syed Rashad Imam Tanmoy and Tamanna Tasmeem.

A group of 10 school going students from Bangladesh and United Kingdom made extraordinary river related illustrations.

The exhibition will show case these artworks along with other illustrations

from around the globe. The exhibition is open for all and will continue till Sunday, January 19, 2014.

Apart from the outdoor exhibition, there will be another installation exhibition on the making of the artworks by artist Tamanna Tasmeem at Dhaka Art Center, house 60, road 7/A, Dhanmondi. Musical performances will also be held simultaneously with the exhibition by “Chirkut,” “Swagata and friends,” and Minar Rahman during these four days.

Event

rivErs oF thE world - art Exhibition


Stress reductionStudies, friends and family - enough material for some serious heartache, right? But a smile can work wonders by reducing your stress levels and can actually trick your brain into thinking happy thoughts. Smiling releases endorphins and serotonins, both of which are happy hormones that can relieve pain. In a world that is out to pinch and squeeze the happy juices out of us, we cannot have enough of these. Read less frown lines.

Immunity bumpYour immunity jumps up a bar when you’re smiling and happy. A good laugh can give you healthy lungs, and even helps you lose calories! Talk about laughing off your weight! All this gives a healthy glow to your skin and what more do you need to look pretty or handsome than a happy, youthful blush?

Eternal youthSmiling moves around the facial muscles quite a lot, resulting in good exercise. Hence, facelifts that you may have needed later on in life are all but rendered useless. A simple smile reduces cortisol levels (the culprit behind stress) and gives you a burst of optimistic energy that can keep you going for quite a while. Talk about cost reduction in transport, future surgery, etc. muNiRa Fidai

Wardrobe Check

Beauty Check

drEssing thE part

fAShioN fAce-off4 tmag

“A smile is a curve that sets things straight.” A much loved, much repeated line and one that should be a mantra to all those beauty conscious people who tend to get easily irritated. Smiles are not only the best beauty makeovers; they are also believed to have amazing health benefits that can equal, if not top, your personal beauty regime

Look of the Week

curvE it up!black on black is

hard to pull oFF, but iF donE right, has an unbEatablE sass and Flair to it

Bag & shoes Lá modePhotographer Homayra AdibaModel Nusrat Srabony

all black, EvErything

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“And for the next performance, please welcome ...” That’s your cue! As the spotlight travels on to your face, you take a deep breath; get the first line in your head ready and the show is on. But preparing for the show takes quite a toll on a person. Among many other things, clothing tends to influence people’s mind and the audience are no different. Having said that, if you dress in a manner that makes you feel confident, anything you do is likely to give off that aura

Dress up better than the others, or dress up like the audience?This question has troubled public speakers and performers alike. Dressing better may come from the thought that when people see you well-dressed, they seem to find respect for you. And you may give off the essence of success and affluence or just simply stand out from the audience. The point has its merits but if you dress up like your audience, they may well be more comfortable with you amid them. The mood of the event too has a role to play. For instance, if you are addressing something serious, it is best to opt for attire that invites your audience’s concentration and take your words seriously. Wearing something too bright and tacky may distract your audience from your words towards your outfit. If you are a performer, for instance a comedian, you can go for

lush and vibrant colours or for simply something that is, somewhere between formal and casual. That something would invite the crowd yet keep you as one of them.

ColoursColours certainly play a vital role in your outfit. If you can set a positive tone among your audience, it benefits you greatly. So while choosing colours make sure you go for energetic ones which emphasise the enthusiasm you hold in the content of your performance. Dynamic colours are great. Dark colours can also be energetic but it depends on the fit or the cut of your outfit.

ComfortHonestly, comfort is definitely the main part. If we feel relaxed and comfortable, we tend to feel more confident. Dare to stand out, be appropriately dressed as

your content expects you to, but never compromise your comfort. If you get this right, you are likely to awe any audience out there. Feel as good as you dress, feel confident, overcome the upcoming rush of adrenaline and win over your audience. Because the saying, “Some things are impossible,” is over-rated! Baizid haque JoaRdeR


Street 5tmag

ARIES (MAR 21-APR 19) Your changes may contribute to personal

growth this week. People around you may think otherwise.

TAuRuS (APR 20-MAY 20) Self appreciation should be your top priority at the

beginning of this week.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JuN20) You are about to shoulder certain responsibilities

at the start of this week. Let your family in on this.

CANCER (JuN 21-JuL 22) Sometimes you can use your hobbies to undertake

responsibilities. When work becomes fun, then it’s a win-win.

LEO (JuL 23-AuG 22) Don’t be upset if your changes don’t yield much

this week. Hold your head high, and keep trying.

VIRGO (AuG 23- SEP 22) Do a bit of giving rather than receiving this week,

for a change. Avoid building relationships based on lies.

LIBRA (SEP 23- OCT 22) Life under the limelight may become a burden this week.

Break free of this fancy bubble.

SCORPIO (OCT 23-NOV 21) Don’t avoid any opportunities that are

related to the improvement of finances. The week isn’t good for taking favours.

SAGITTARIuS (NOV 22-DEC 21)

You’re entitled to spoil yourself a little this week.

While you’re at it, make sure you don’t go hand to mouth.

CAPRICORN (DEC 22-JAN19)

If you come across something that seems too

good to be true, keep room for doubts. You won’t regret it.

AQuARIuS (JAN 20-FEB 18) You’re in a sensitive place now. Strenuous activities

will ease your mind this week. Don’t think, just go for it.

PISCES (FEB 19-MAR 20) Someone has managed to get on your last nerve, and

this isn’t the first time. You might want to calm down and give them the benefit of doubt.

HOROSCOPECar Talk

Power and speed of a Veyron fitted into a mutated Lotus bodyshell can only mean it’s the Hennessey Venom GT. With such witchcraft and sorcery, the Texan car maker means business

thE slithEring sErpEnt

Combining the best of the Lotus Elise and Chevrolet Corvette is the Hennessey’s Venom GT. With a thoroughly modern chassis from the Elise and more than enough power from the LS9 V8, it is amongst the fastest supercars ever produced.

In the case of the Venom GT, less weight means more performance. The Venom GT has a production curb weight of 1,244kg, aided by its lightweight carbon fibre bodywork and carbon fibre wheels. The stopping power is delivered via Brembo brakes with 6-piston callipers up front and 4-piston callipers in rear clamping down on 15-inch carbon ceramic discs.

The Venom GT’s base power plant is the supercharged 6.2-liter LS9 V8 from the Corvette ZR1 tweaked by Hennessey to produce merely “very scary” 725bhp. And if that isn’t scary enough, then there are the 7.0-litre V8 twin-turbo versions with either 1000bhp or the full OMG 1,244bhp. The mid-engine V8 will transmit its power to the rear via a Ricardo 6-speed gearbox, same as the one in the McLaren 12C.

So you ask yourself, what would a Lotus Exige be like with so much power? The only answer that comes into your mind is “un-driveable” or “an inevitable

crash waiting around the corner” might be another. Much to your delight, you will be wrong. The correct answer is “just possibly, the biggest thrill anyone has ever had at the wheel of a road car.” That’s what Hennessey believed, when they stretched the baby Lotus to accommodate the massive space age power house.

Believe it or not, the Hennessey Venom GT is the fastest production car out there. With a power to weight ratio of 1,000bhp per tonne, it can go from a standstill to 265.7mph in the space of just two miles. This makes the Venom GT 7mph faster than the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport, which requires over four miles to reach its speed limiter, which is set at 258mph. Even though the Veyron Super Sport did 268mph a couple of years ago, but it is limited to 258mph to prevent the tires from exploding - thus allowing the Venom GT to steal the spotlight.

So where does it fit into the grand hypercar hierarchy? At the top of the tree, at least in terms of outright acceleration and sheer speed. Incredible as it sounds, building a car that hits 186mph in 13.6sec is not a child’s play. If speed is your drug of choice, this car’s throttle is all that you’ll need.

tahsiN momiN


hot toPic6 tmag

Laugh Out LOud

ItalianCaricatures, political satire

Japanese Goofy/slapstick, dark comedy, sketch/standup comedy (rakugo)

ChineseLinguistic humour, stand-up

IndianRegional stereotypes, slapstick, linguistic humour

AfricanDay to day observational humour

BangladeshiRegional humour, situational comedy, memes

Laugh arOund the wOrLdAmericansSlapstick, one-liners, situational comedy, political satire, observational humour

BritishWitty, ironic, subtle, satirical, clever, dry, self-deprecating

Australia Raunchy, crude, impressions, social commentary, earthy

FrenchSlapstick/ridiculous style comedy, observational humour/capers

Germany/Netherlands/ScandinaviaRacial stereotypes, political satire,

Dhaka has consistently been ranked as pretty high on the “unliveable city” list, and the past few months haven’t done much to change anyone’s mind. And yet, life goes on. We survive. We thrive. And against all odds, we find reasons to smile and laugh. This week’s TMAG is a celebration of the sense of humour, mankind’s greatest weapon against the force of gravity

YOu think i’m funnY?Laughter is spontaneous, instinctive, and universal. It knows no barrier of language, culture, or even species. Babies laugh within the first couple of weeks after birth. Other primates, such as chimpanzees, also exhibit behaviours that can be categorised as laughter. A sense of humour, regardless of the level of sophistication, is Nature’s own stress relief mechanism. But what makes us laugh? Why is one person’s favourite joke offensive to someone else?

In his article “The Psychology of Entertainment: What we find funny”, Gord Hotchkiss, author, speaker, and independent consultant, explains the basic psychology behind a joke. “Jokes rely on closing gaps of incongruity, a sudden revelation that suddenly allows a situation that highlights a discrepancy to make sense. We master the situation when we “get”

the punch-line, the source of the humour” he says, continuing that a lot of this depends on frame of mind and cultural background. This is often why jokes don’t translate well across cultures and generation gaps.

Humour in babies is a way of developing coping skills. Think about the things that they laugh at: peek-a-boo games, being tossed up and caught again, “growling” relatives who tickle them – basically a potentially threatening situation being toned down to the level of play. Laughter comes to them as a combination of fear and relief. As they grow into toddlers, the humour takes a turn for the physical, and fart jokes and funny noises are hilarious. Of course, some people never grow out of this stage, but that’s another story.

For teens, humour has a lot to do with transgression and coping with a


hot toPic 7tmag

Laugh Out LOud

ItalianCaricatures, political satire

Japanese Goofy/slapstick, dark comedy, sketch/standup comedy (rakugo)

ChineseLinguistic humour, stand-up

IndianRegional stereotypes, slapstick, linguistic humour

AfricanDay to day observational humour

BangladeshiRegional humour, situational comedy, memes

Dhaka has consistently been ranked as pretty high on the “unliveable city” list, and the past few months haven’t done much to change anyone’s mind. And yet, life goes on. We survive. We thrive. And against all odds, we find reasons to smile and laugh. This week’s TMAG is a celebration of the sense of humour, mankind’s greatest weapon against the force of gravity

changing world as their bodies transition through adolescence, their ideologies form, and their social circles expand. Comedy is used as much to relieve as it is to regulate. This is where caricatures, black humour, begin to emerge. A lot of what teens find funny may be offensive to older generations, sometimes even their peers. If you thought grown-ups don’t have a sense of humour, you might be close to right. As people grow older, all the things that one could laugh off are now part of their reality, and thus not so funny anymore. Adult humour revolves more around situational and observational comedy, satire and innuendos.

All said and done, your ability to tell a funny joke, and to take one in good humour, depend on your experiences and innate personality. This much is true: no matter how bad things are, if you are able to smile and laugh, life will be livable.

saBRiNa Fatma ahmad

• Stand-up comedy comprises of a comedian or a bunch of comedians performing in front of a live audience, and interacting with them at the same time.

• Sketch comedy usually has a few people playing different characters for each segment. Also, it’s a show that is made up of small comic pieces known as sketches, lasting for less than five minutes.

• Black comedy is a style of comic that makes fun of situations that are considered grave or taboo. Black comedy follows no social norms and pokes fun at everything that has any substantial value to life.

• Pun, also known as Paranomasia, is a lighter form of comedy that gives a certain word multiple funny meanings. The meanings of words are played with to create a humorous effect.

• Slapstick humour uses crude, senseless forms of practical jokes that are easy to visualise. This form of comedy is used in movies and even a few cartoons.

Natasha RahmaN

funnY, hOw?

what are YOu Laughing at?We surveyed about 50 of our readers about what they find funny.

56% are disturbed by jokes about chronic diseases and death.

Yet, 58% of those surveyed think that a person falling 20 storeys and breaking bones is a little funny.

A staggering 94% of our readers aren’t amused by puns or wordplay.

30% take some kind of pleasure in watching stand-up comedians pick on other people.


writteN iN the StArS8 tmag

Barrister by day and a comedian by night. Ahmad Ashik, a stand-up comedian at Naveeds Comedy Club has a hearty conversation with RuBaB Nayeem KhaN about what has his sense of humour up and running

Photo: courtesy

stand and dElivEr

What piqued your interest towards stand-up comedy?The constant reminder from people that I’m an attention seeker is what got me started with comedy. I started when I was in school. When I went to university, I continued with my acts and I noticed that people were enjoying it, after which I pursued it as a career. I couldn’t really concentrate on stand-up comedy because I was doing the bar. Once I graduated as a barrister I came back to Bangladesh and started performing with Naveeds Comedy Club.

What’s it like being a barrister and a stand-up comedian? I think I’m the worst superhero ever. There’s Batman who’s also Bruce Wayne, and then we have Superman, who’s Clark Kent. I can’t really be a superhero, because I make people laugh and that doesn’t bring justice, rather it brings injustice if the comedy doesn’t work! So, the alter ego is good, and the best part is that my parents don’t know about this.

How long have you been performing? Has it flourished so far? Professionally I have been involved with stand-up comedy for four years. Performances in Bangladesh have been a little low. The buzz died down due to the political situation, but nevertheless,

we are trying to keep the momentum going. So far it has been quite good; the crowd is great, but we need to spread the word about stand-up comedy even more.

What kind of humour do you delve into? Anything that I find funny; I don’t like to restrict myself into a certain kind of comedy. I enjoy satire, physical, and observational comedy. I also enjoy self deprecating jokes, in fact, I thrive on them.

What are your most memorable performances? Performances with Naveed Mahbub. Also when it’s a full house, that’s when we have excellent shows. Have you ever come across critics among the audience? Yes. One person was thoroughly insulted by the material I used, particularly because it was about politics. But my point is, if you don’t talk about it, even in a humorous way, how are you going to get people to think about it? However, my biggest critic would be my sister. She still can’t believe I’m doing this considering the profession I already have. I thrive when there are people who are underestimating that this isn’t going to

work out. Law is like my first wife and comedy is my mistress, hence I have much more fun with the latter.

What do you like about being a stand-up comedian? I like the fact that I have no script, no timing and most importantly nothing to worry about. It’s just me on the stage, speaking about what I think is right.

What do you have to say to those who have stage fright? To follow the age old saying “Think the audience is naked.” That way they’ll feel less embarrassed. Aside from that, talking in front of the mirror always helps one gain confidence.

What are your future plans for stand-up comedy? It would be brilliant to do more shows and garner more attention. At the same time I don’t want to get carried away as I am establishing my career in law.

A message for the readers? Whatever you do professionally, you should have something on the side that you’re passionate about. Dhaka city has a lot to give you and a lot to take from you; you just cannot get bogged down in a 9-5 job. So it’s never too late for skill building. n

FuN FACTS ABOuT AHMAD ASHIk

• According to Ashik, he loves to be cornered, because that is when he performs the best.

• He believes that stand-up comedy needs more female comedians, because he doesn’t want comedy to become sexist.

• His biggest fear would be seeing his audience not responding to his jokes.

• When in school, he’s been boo’d off the stage, and the same thing happened in university twice when he got on the stage to perform. But it motivated him to become better and better.

• He’s done more than 20 shows in Bangladesh.

• He thinks something as simple as popcorn being sold in traffic is hilarious because, that’s the most boring film he’s ever seen. “Why would I want to eat popcorn and watch traffic?”

• He tends to be apologetic on stage. “I show that I really don’t want to speak about a certain issue, that I’m being forced to talk about it. That way I get the audience on my side. When I come across the audience as a victim, things get a lot easier.”

• Few words about the people who inspire him: “Naveed Mahbub is a pioneer of stand-up comedy. Along with him, there’s Solaiman Shukhon, and Max Mystel who are amazing at what they do. When I see them perform on stage, I get more ideas. In fact, my content got richer from watching them.”


You write it 9tmag

BOOk reView

fic

tiO

nn

On

fic

tiO

n unusual origins For usual sayings

an unlookEd-For FuturEWhen you usually read a book, you find yourself either contended or blatantly disappointed. When you read the Carpet Makers, you will come away with the experience of, shall we say, mixed feelings.

Written by Andreas Eschbach (2002), a German writer, this story opens on an unearthly-cultured planet where the most inspiring custom is the construction of explicit carpets woven out of women’s hair. Set in the future, each household has a man who marries multiple wives to fabricate these carpets with their hairs and can only produce one in his lifetime.

Once a year, the emperor’s carpet buyer acquires the carpets for the Star Palace. When word gets out that the emperor has gone AWOL, the planet’s devotion towards carpet making comes into no question. Through the random viewpoints of soldiers, politicians, and bureaucrats, we learn that the carpet makers’ worlds are caught up and isolated from the rest of space, trapped and enslaved by their beloved emperor.

After the author reveals why they lived in such a primitive way, that revelation is so intriguing and petty, one is reduced to saying: “You’re kidding!” The “truth” is a killer suspense waiting for your read.

The element of surprise is there and there are only part actors that build on the climax of the storyline. But like they say, there are no small parts, just small actors. By keeping that in mind, this book has one goal; to give you a diverting insight into a “primitive” future –period.

saBa sattaR

Have you ever wondered where the sayings we use in everyday life came from? The most familiar sayings often have astonishing derivations. Here are some from The Book of Beginnings

Always a bridesmaid, never a brideListerine! Yes, this was used to advertise the popular mouthwash. As part of their marketing strategy, in 1920, Listerine’s manufacturers shared the stories of girls who, despite wanting to tie the knot, were left to be bridesmaids. The reason? Bad breath. This ad spiked their sales to millions, simultaneously providing the English language with a new phrase.

strangE lovE

“You need to get rid of him, he is unhealthy for you.” My mother blared on the phone. It baffles me to see her discontent over the one thing in my life that keeps my sanity intact. When I moved to Toronto, I did my utmost to make friends and for a while I fooled myself into believing that those late night studying at their homes meant a deeper bond

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Benjamin Dix, Jawaahir Daahir, and Lindsay Pollock have collaborated their research, storyline and artwork into something that is real -the political condition of Somalia. “Meet the Somalis” is a collection of 14 illustrated stories that delves into the lives of seven people who are located in different parts of Europe. Most of them had to flee Somalia due to the

political unrest. These stories are taken from people who have actually suffered a great deal when the Al-Shabaab, a militant group in Somalia, raised hell through prolonged wars. The stories are illustrated in first person testimonies, which should appeal to the readers, because it feels as though they are having a conversation with you.

You take one glance at their past, and then you see their present; some of their lives turned out impressive (with a few hiccups along the way) and some, quite depressing (check out Baashi’s life in Amsterdam). The storyline so far is well researched, Dix and Daahir have done

Break a legWidely known as another version of wishing “good luck” to actors before a performance, it is actually meant to ward off evil. When superstitions plagued the world, it was believed that praising, or blessing anything good will draw the attention of wicked forces, and set them at work to spoil it. Thus people cursed instead, so that these forces would be deceived. In other words, known as “reverse psychology.”

Bark up the wrong treeThis originated when dogs used to assist in hunting by tracking a prey. At night when raccoons were chased and hunted, dogs spotted them and barked to specify the tree where the raccoon was hiding. Naturally, if humans can err, so can dogs. And they often barked up the wrong tree.

To blow hot and coldUsed on indecisive people, this saying was derived from Aesop’s fables. On a

of friendship. I wasn’t exceptionally pretty, but if there was one thing I could master - it was statistical mathematics. So the blondes, the brunettes, the Asians flocked around me during exam week. They invited me to stayovers, their parties, and for one week I felt good. But the cold shoulders, the restrained smiles, the looking right through me - would start as soon as exams were over. It’s been two years, and I had given up on life, when I found Aiden. He was everything that I hoped for. He looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl in the world. We instantly connected when I saw him in the park. After that moment on, Aiden and I were inseparable. When I came back to my lonely apartment from a long hard day at school, he was always there waiting for me by the door. When I took him in my arms, the tumultuous troubles that I

face at school faded away. The hotdog stalls; the flea market, the amusement parks – he knew how much I loved these places, and he always nudged me to go out. Aiden was an extrovert; he loved going out and never let me sulk at home. He never ate without me; no matter how hungry he might have been. I never felt lonely when I was with him. The few friends that I made loved him; when they came over to my place they ended up spending more time with him than with me. But I didn’t mind, I knew that Aiden would never leave me. If there was one thing that made me happy in the morning, it was watching Aiden breathe softly, his small round form curled up in his dog house beside me. It didn’t matter that no one understood our relationship, if there was any perfection in my life, it was this.

Natasha RahmaN

winter day, a puzzled satyr questioned a traveller why he was blowing on his numb fingers. He was warming his fingers with his breath, the man replied. Feeling sympathetic, the satyr invited him over for food. Again, the man blew on the hot stew, which further mystified the satyr. Yet again, he asked. The man said that he was cooling it. The satyr asked him to leave immediately. He would not have anything more to do with this traveller who could “blow hot and cold from the same mouth!”

By hook or by crookPeople can go to any extent to achieve their goals, whether it’s fair or foul. This phrase originates from a British norm. Taking firewood from forests which belonged to the royalty was no less than a crime, except for the poorest. The underprivileged were allowed to gather the dead timbers or uprooted trees, by hook or by crook.

NamiRa shameem

a brilliant job in pointing out the things that corners, not just Somalis, but also Muslims, in different parts of the world. Regardless of their lives in a fast paced country, these people hold on to their roots, mourn over the losses of Somalia, and are deeply shattered by the fact that they are not being able to go back to their country. Even in such crucial times, their faith in the Almighty remains unshaken. Hats off to Lindsay Pollock for the expressive artwork. Meet the Somalis is available for reading at http://www.opensocietyfoundations.org/multimedia/meet-the-somalis#all.

RuBaB Nayeem KhaN


`

` music

Stereo10 tmag

this wEEk’s bEst

runawaytunEs

1. Leave me alone The Corrs

2. Wit Dre Day Dr Dre & Snoop Dogg

3. Nobody but me The Human Beans

4. Simon Lifehouse

5. Rumors Lindsay Lohan

6. Britney Spears Piece of me

7. Raise a glass Pink

8. Pumped up kicks Foster the People

9. Where is my mind Pixies

10. Adam’s Song Blink 182

instrument

guitar tabs

into thE dark

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LIGHT ONDAVID COOK

Verse 1AmNever really said too muchCAfraid it wouldn’t be enoughGJust try to keep my spirits up F EWhen there’s no point in grievingAmDoesn’t matter anywayCWords could never make me stayGWords will never take my place F EWhen you know I’m leaving

Chorus F CTry to leave a light on when I’m gone G DmSomething I rely on to get home FOne I can feel at night C Am GA naked light, a fire to keep me warm F CTry to leave a light on when I’m gone G DmEven in the daylight, shine on F AmAnd when it’s late at night you can look insideG EYou won’t feel so alone

strings oF mElody

Do you want to celebrate the New Year with a melodious event? Some of Dhaka’s famous bands will be performing gigs at Uttara, and “The Dark Funeral – Part 1” will be the first one of this year . De-illumination, Powersurge, Mechanix, Sent Men Revolt, Shrapnel Method, Trainwreck, Self Portrait, Utshorgo, Revolutus, Zone Of Inner Diseases, Absentia, The Arch, Aparahnno and Srot are ready to blow your mind away.

The gig will be held at the BSCIC

auditorium on Friday, January 17. The show will start at 10:30am. The ticket price is Tk249 and will be available at the venue. Studio Saints is the co-sponsor of the event along with Sound Machine providing the sound for the concert. You really shouldn’t miss out on this show, especially since it’s the first of its kind this year. Get ready to head bang till you get a headache. For more details: https://www.facebook.com/events/1428326494060782

imtiaz salim

sPOtLight wrEck oF thE mEchanical cEntipEdEWe have Trainwreck to push you into the combat of thrash metal. These young musicians are tearing away at the music scene with their insane guitar solos and excellent drumming. The vocal is no less either, with his efficiency in growling and screaming, complementing the instruments.

Formed in 2010, the band initially spent their time jamming with each other. Having a few changes in their line-up till now, the band currently comprises of Abir Ahmed Shuvo (vocals), A K Rahul (guitars), Zaheen Rashid (guitars), Rafat Mahmud Alvee (bass) and Mark Don

(drums). They have released some singles in various compilation albums from local labels.

They have experienced numerous shows and are still serving their fans with tight performances. Having a strong fan base, the band is ruling the music scene with success. They have more than five shows scheduled to mark the beginning of their year, spread over the months of January and February. Presently the band is hard at work, making tracks and performing gigs. If you haven’t heard them yet, it’s time to get amped with their metallic melodies. imtiaz salim

Do you know what the predecessor of the Piano is? Santoor is one of the earliest instrument among the Veena (stringed instruments) family of India. In ancient scriptures the Santoor was named as Shata-tantri Veena, which means a Veena with hundred strings.

Traditionally Santoor is a trapezium shaped hollow box. And it has 25 bridges on top of that and all bridges have four strings placed over it. From left to right it has an acute angle of 75 degrees. Seasoned mulberry wood is mostly used to make the perfect Santoor. The performer needs two wooden mallets to play it.

Santoor has been used in Sufi music for centuries in Kashmir, for which, the genre achieved the name “Sufiana Mausiqi.” Mohamed Abdullah Tibbat Baqaal and Mohamed Qaleen Baaf were very well known Sufiana Musicians who played the Santoor.

Most people assume the Santoor to be a classical instrument. Surprisingly it has never been used in Indian classical music before the 1950s. People outside Kashmir never knew about the Santoor and this norm was changed by Pt Umadutt Sharma. After becoming aware of it’s magical melody, in early 1950, Pt Umadutt Sharma made his best effort to merge it with Indian classical music. Later on he would go on to teach his son, famous Shivkumar Sharma, the intricacies of this instrument.

Similar instruments are found in different parts of the world, with different names. In China it’s called Yang Quin, in central Asia Cimbale, in Iran and Iraq Santoor, in Greece Santoori, in Germany Hackbret, in Hungary Cymbalom, and in the US Hammer-Dulcimer. However, the above mentioned instruments have more or less than hundred strings.

saudia aFRiN


PLAYroom 11tmag

wE rEcommEnd

Sherlock Series 2 ended with the seeming suicide of our main protagonist and a final shot showing him alive and well. What came afterwards was a 2 year gap where the actors and writers concentrated on numerous other projects leaving millions of speculating fans to try and figure out how Sherlock could’ve survived the infamous Reichenbach Fall.So what do we get finally? Moffat and Gatiss have acknowledged the fans by including some of the many ridiculous and over the top theories that surfaced on the internet during these past few years. However, the never-ending plethora of theories has effectively over-hyped not only the episode but the final answer. The Empty Hearse gives us the best possible solution to the all important question by leaving things open ended for the best. By admitting to ourselves that the “real” answer to how Sherlock did it will never live up to the theories of the fandom, we might be able to move on past the issue.

The rest of the episode has garnered mixed reviews. The shocking reunion we had all waited for did not disappoint. With wonderful acting by Freeman and Cumberbatch as they bicker about, Sherlock tries to contain Watson’s rage at keeping him in the dark about being alive for so long. The Guy Fawkes subplot was ultimately distracting and not given enough time to develop a proper villain. In the end, it was quickly brushed aside after Watson fumbles about and blurts out another emotional confession.

At the end of the episode, there is a glimmer of hope that the next two episodes will be better. All in all, the hype gives a nice tint to the series return which will not bother most fans, who eagerly await more from the brilliant detective. It’s not up there with the best from Moffat and co. but it’s still as good as any other show you’ll get to watch right now.

iRad mustaFa

diFF’s Film scrEEning in bangladEsh

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fiLm screening

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Dubai Film Festivals (DIFF), children section has screened several films which are ideal for family outings and was open to all. One film will be selected by audience vote for the Best Juvenile Film Audience Award. The award will be in the

form of a certificate and a crest. One of the films “Bardou” was screened at 10am. The above mentioned films were also screened at the Public Library Auditorium in Dhaka on January 11.

RuBaB Nayeem KhaN

click awaygadget hunt

Say, you are at the beach in Cox’s Bazar with a group of friends having a wonderful time, and you want to capture the moment.

When you reach into your pockets for your camera, you have two concerns: You either find a stranger who could take a group photo. Or you find a proper flat surface on a sandy beach, to place the camera and use the self-timer mode. Forget all that! Try the Breffo adventure camera kit. It’s an eight legged rubber

plastic kit which is universally attachable to almost any camera. With this you can now, for example, attach the kit to a tree branch using the flexible legs and click away.

If you’re going on an exhilarating bike ride attach the camera either on your helmet gear or bike handles. This way you can video the whole ride. This gadget is an exciting add-on to your camera and is available online for £20 (Tk2,000) a pop.

syed azRaF zamaN

Family oF craziEs

is the End,” “We’re the Millers” has its share of lovable moments and equally lovable characters that come together in an ironically wholesome way. Their antics provide for laughable moments, however, it is far from what you want to sit down on a Friday night and watch with popcorn, with your actual family. The persistent language, graphic drug and body imagery make it of entertainment quality for the more adult audience. Jason enacts

his part with the nonchalant character that we have grown to see him portray well. Jennifer Aniston is astounding as a stripper putting the younger generation to shame. Emma Roberts is refreshing as she isn’t playing a role of the wholesome character she’s commonly drawn to. Will Poulter is effective as the underdog that you feel sorry for and eventually are rooting for.

ashFaque zamaN

The quintessential family consists of a stripper mother, a drug dealing father, a homeless/ run-away daughter and a clueless virgin son. Yeah, the sentence doesn’t exactly paint the portrait you’d proudly hang on your mantle. “We’re the Millers” makes this unfathomable perception quite loveable.

David (Jason Sudeikis) is a drug dealer who inadvertently gets caught in a mishap between his soon to be virgin son, Kenny (Will Poutler), and homeless daughter Casey (Emma Roberts) and loses his drug stash. In debt of his drug lord, Brad (Ed Helms), he can only escape this debt by travelling to Mexico and bringing a misleadingly large stash of weed.

Though it’s not the laugh out loud comedy like “Bridesmaids” and “This

Name of Film Director CountryLost In The City Lu Yunfei ChinaBardou Seyed Hadi Mohaghegh IranAll Alone Shahrokhi IranThe Rooster Trademark Paper Maryam Milani IranTopraga Uzanan Eller (King of Cotton) Omer Can TurkeySemi Refik Cakar Turkey


teeNArAmA12 tmag

I accidentally farted when I kneeled down to pray in the mosque.

I went to this house, where the hosts asked me to take off my shoes, before entering their living room. I had a really bad feeling about this, especially because, my feet were really moist that day. I witnessed their nostrils shrivelling up into a prune, when I took off my shoes.

I poked myself in the eye while wearing contacts. FYI- I had really long nails.

I went to shop at Doja with two of my female friends. When we went into the lingerie section, they both started torturing me by picking up random underwear from the display and flinging it on my face.

I told my girlfriend’s father there’s a fly on the tip of his nose. He corrected me by saying that it was a mole.

blushmuch?

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Email your confession today to [email protected]

If you want to share your awesome or not-so-awesome life events email it to us at [email protected]

DEar Diary,

Today is the day. Yes, this is what I had in my mind. It felt as if I had waited for this day since kindergarten. The day Priyanka notices a man who knows what he wants and how to get it instead of the flamboyant boy she has shared her class with since the first day of her school life.

I got up in the morning and got a hair cut in a manner that is thought of as very “cool” by people of my age. I wanted to resemble David Beckham and the girls would think that I look like Zayn Malik. But reality hit me when I looked at the mirror. I hated my eyes, my nose, everything! I know that I should feel lucky to have a house and parents who have the ability to support a rich lifestyle. Most people spend an eternity to find all this but I have it all served to me on a silver plate. But what can I do if I hate the way I look?

I even shaved the moustache that is barely there just in the hope that Priyanka would notice. I had in mind that whatever my short-comings may be, I would approach her at Mushfique’s today. Mushfique is my only popular friend in school. Well he wouldn’t be, but for his parents who are close to my parents. And I helped him with his studies, so I guess that is the reason why a guy of his stature would socialise with a guy like me.

Mushfique organised a barbeque on his roof top where all the “cool” kids of our batch are supposedly invited. I probably am the only one who would feel like an outcast at the party. But this is my chance to find Priyanka and talk to her in private. It was all set; I practiced a few jokes and what I had to say to her. So at the party ...

late BloomeR

JANUARY 12, 2014

5

TMaG TElls you To choosE or losE

Got a sticky relationship ish? Let us help you make up your mind. Email your story today to [email protected]

MY GIRLFRIEND SEES RED IF I GIVE OuT SPOILERS for a show she’s following. She takes it so seriously that she actually stops talking to me for weeks. Please tell me this is ridiculous?

choosEWell, you kinda walk into that one knowing that it annoys her. Give it some time, she’ll cool off. You could try and update your jokes; clearly giving away spoilers gets you in her bad books.

MY GuY HAS A HABIT OF SLAPPING ME ON THE HEAD, AS IF I’M ONE OF HIS GuY FRIENDS. He fails to realise that, first of all, it hurts and second of all, it’s downright insulting, especially when he does it at a wedding in front of all his cousins. I do believe I’m his girlfriend, not another mate from the football team. What do I do?

losETell him exactly how you feel. If he fails to see things your way, give Sir Slaps a big dose of his own medicine. If he doesn’t curb his bad habits, maybe it’s time to let this fish go.

EVERY TIME MY BOYFRIEND AND I PLAY VIDEO GAMES, HE ALWAYS CALLS DIBS ON BEING THE FIRST PLAYER. I have to sit there being the second player every single time, and it’s so not fair. It’s like he marks his territory around the joystick. How do I deal with this big baby?

on thE FEncEWhat’s stopping you from being the bigger baby? If you get hell bent over being the first player whenever you guys play videogames then he’ll cave in after a certain time and just let you be the first player

THERE’S THIS GIRL IN MY CLASS WHO I REALLY LIkE AND I WANT TO DATE HER; the only reason I find it hard to proceed things with her is because she has OCD. Every time we shake hands she starts using hand sanitizer, she won’t eat street side food at all, and she also refuses to take public transport. I’m trying to be nice, but in the process, I think I’m friend-zoning myself.

choosEYou need to understand that she has a condition, and curbing it will take more than days. If you really like her, stick to her, show her that you’re patient enough to deal with it. If she’s a good person, then you really shouldn’t walk out of this one.

I’VE BEEN DATING THIS GIRL FOR A MONTH. She has this one habit that I really despise, and that’s making a mess out of my room. First of all she’d enter my room with muddy shoes, and then she’d sit on my bed and dump trash from her bag and just leave it there. She isn’t such a bad person; however, she seems to lack a few bedside manners. What should I do?

on thE FEncEWhere manners are concerned you really shouldn’t make any compromise. Tell her once about how her habits annoy you. If she understands then it’s all good, but if not, then let this one go.

Documents

TMAG Volume 1 Issue 38