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Thinking Aloud: 300,000 to 1By Lance Hardie

Those are the odds. Approximately three hundred thousand sperm cells take offfrom the starting gate. With few exceptions, only one will unite with the egg cell at

the end of the tunnel. And the one that wins over the other 299,999 may very well

be an inferior individual.

Lets face it: with odds like that, there is bound to be a better one in the bunch. As

a metaphor, here is an argument for the randomness of achievement. You may

accept, more or less as a religious belief, the propaganda notions that education,

hard work, influential friends, a favorable horoscope, or a bit of good luck now

and then is the magic formula for success. In reality there is no evidence to

support this superstition. All analyses of how successful people achieve their

ends are made up after the fact, and there are no scientific studies to show the

effects of following particular systems.

Taking all individuals as a whole, there are no consistently successful ways of

achieving anythingbusiness prowess, musical genius, athletic performance,

good teeth, healthy hair, freedom from warts, or the impregnation of an egg. You

are pretty much on your own. And, when all is said and done, prayer might work

as well as anything. As with almost everything in life, there are no guarantees.

Now, having said that, let me give you a few rules guaranteed to guarantee

nothing beyond the feeling that, whether there is a God, or even a small "g" god,

or a goddess with any size "G," less stress is better than more, and sleeping well

at night is better than not. If it were part of a workshop or even as the title of a

best-selling self-help package (you knowthe book, the tapes, the video, the

newsletter, maybe even a hotline) the following list might carry a timely, catchy

name like "Lance Hardies Thirteen Steps to a Vibrant, Joyful Life with No Effort,

No Exercises, and No Responsibilities." Well, something like thatmaybe

shorter. In reality, what follows is not quite a list, and certainly not a series of

steps, which, if it were, would never add up to thirteen. Consider it more like a setof partial views of a whole body that cannot be seen all at once. If this were a

cubist painting, you might turn it sideways to look at it, or stand on your head.

Which is not a bad idea in itself when you want to look at your situation in a new

light.

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! ! Always tell the truth as soon as you know itto yourself and to everyoneelse.

! ! Make commitments only to yourself, then keep them. If you must makecommitments to others, deliver on time. If you cant, say so as soon as you

know it.

! ! Learn from the great sages about the world, about human nature, aboutself-knowledge. It will save you much pain and suffering, not to say time.

The great sages are not hard to find. They are on the shelves of most

bookstores and libraries. And of course on the Internet.

! ! Learn from experience, then let the past go. Dont punish yourself. If youinsist on punishing yourself, others will join you.

! ! No one owns you. Do what you love. If you believe you cant, you believesomeone owns you. Thats called slavery. From time to time you may try to

run away. Its a sure way to create suffering.

! ! You have a natural rhythm and a natural style. When you fight them youdeform yourself. If you deform yourself long enough you will end up hating

yourself.

! ! To thrive in society, adapt gracefully to the foolishness of others. This is notto contradict the previous item, only to say that if you dont want to makeenemies out of the fools its better not to rattle their cages.

! ! Accept no guilt for being yourself. Its okay to say no.! ! Most people cant read your mind. When you need something, ask for it.! ! Exception: most people can read your mind when you lie.While most of this little homily may seem quite sensible to you, if not simple-

minded, there is a good chance your nervous system wont be ready to carry outall of it when you are just out of high school. You have to live in the world for

some timewith the near-nuts and the out-and-out craziesjust to get your

bearing. The world of work and relationship and money will give you plenty to

chew on for years. You have to make mistakes, which is another way of saying

you have to suffer. The great secret to learn is that some things are likely to fail

because the odds are against youand youre standing at the wrong angle.

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While it may seem simple enough, some of us take longer than others to figure

out that its better not to bet against the house.

At some point in your life you reach an age at which you can stand to read the

words of the great sages. Then you realize you are not alonesomeone has

been there before, and its a great relief to discover that. No, they didnt have

faxes and frequent-flyer miles, and it doesnt matter because thats just window-

dressing. The virtues and the vices, the principles and the nonsenseall that

stays the same because we are all still just barely out of monkeyhood. And, for all

we know, not even very permanently.

One in 300,000 is not very good odds, and thats not counting all the other times

when impregnation doesnt even occur. I have a feeling that this number applies

to more than just sperm. I have a feeling that many opportunities in nature and in

human behavior have similarly large odds against particular results. Telling thetruth and doing what you love may not increase your odds of success in the

world of those near-nuts and out-and-out crazies unless you become a great

actor who is really good at humoring their foolishness. Acting and humoring

depend to a large extent on a mastery of timing. Unfortunately, not everyone who

won the race against the other 299,999 can convert that kind of timing success

into the other kind. How much work is worth doing in order to learn this great art

has a lot to do with the question of how important it is to you. More critically, it

has to do with how important it is to that part of you which is authentic. And it may

take a lifetime or more to find that out.

Telling the truth and doing what you love puts you in the company of poets and

prophets and other brave people whose success is not measured by the

foolishness of the world. It is measured by the standards of their own strength

and their own convictions, which are recognized by others like them. And

sometimes they are even recognized by the world, on a ratio of about one in

300,000. If you are one of the unsung heroes, well, guess whatyou may have

to sing for yourself. Only be sure that your songs are of joy and of triumph.

Because the last rule is "Never complain."