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Volume 13, Number Three, January 2011
MOPSGuide.org
The MOPS Circle
The importance of relationships and influence
Connections January 20112
Letter from the EditorInterim CEOShelly Radic
Executive EditorCarla Foote
EditorBeth K. Vogt
Editorial CoordinatorJackie Alvarez
Graphic DesignerHeather Swanson
Contact MOPS International at:2370 South Trenton WayDenver, CO 80231-3822
MOPS.org
Office Phone: 303.733.5353 Fax: 303.733.5770
E-mail: [email protected]
Services Representatives: 888.910.MOPS (6677)or 303.695.1930 (in the Denver metro area)
E-mail: [email protected]
To start a MOPS group, [email protected] or go to
MOPS.org/getstarted
To place a MOPShop order:MOPShop.org
© Copyright 2011, MOPS International, Inc. All rights reserved. MOPS is a federally registered
trademark of MOPS International, Inc. 1998. All rights reserved.
I’m writing this Editor’s Letter in my office, which is located in my home, a mere step away from my family room and my kitchen. My dog, Midas, is standing next to my chair, wondering when I’ll be finished working so I’ll finally get up and feed him.
Most of my work as Connections editor is done from home. I communicate via e-mail and phone with the writers and the graphic designer and the MOPS International staff in Denver. But we plan each issue several months ahead of time, which requires me to drive up I-25 and visit ... I mean work with the other women involved with brainstorming this magazine into existence: Carla and Shelly and Jackie and Rachel and Christine, to name a few.
While discussing upcoming issues, I’m reminded that Connections is fundamentally about people — equipping women like the ones I’m brainstorming with and the ones you’re leading a MOPS group with — to be better leaders. We’re thinking about everyone on your team when we plan an issue: Coordinators, Discussion Group Leaders, Finance Leaders — all the Steering Team positions. And we’re thinking about the teams that may not look like your team — the group with only a Coordinator and a MOPS Mentor and someone to handle MOPPETS. We remind each other that MOPS groups are reaching teen moms and military moms and single moms and searching moms and moms of newborns and moms of school-age children.
When you’re done reading this issue of Connections, would you do something for me? Share this magazine with someone else. And remember, we want everyone on your leadership team to receive a copy of Connections! Be sure that all your leaders and Mentors are registered through group management at MOPSGuide.org.
Beth K. Vogt, Editor Thanks! MOPS International appreciates the support provided by our sponsors for the 2010-11 MOPS year. Find out more about these fine organizations at MOPS.org/sponsors.l Antiquitiesl Back to the Biblel Compassion Internationall Focus on the Familyl Front Porch Entertainmentl Mama Saver Cardl Operation Christmas Childl Stonyfield Farmsl Tender Heartsl World Vision Micro
It’s All About You!Connections and Your Leadership Hats
Leadership Hat –overall leadership principles. Read all the articles in context of how you are growing as a leader and who else you can share the information with so they can also grow as a leader. Could you share Nadia Swearingen’s article “Cultivating Communication and Honoring Relationships” with a potential new Discussion Group Leader? Or discuss “Team Dynamics: Fostering Communication While Avoiding Disagreements” at your next leadership meeting?
Each article in Connections is designed with you in mind, whatever your MOPS leadership position. Some of you have more logistical roles, while others are creating the atmosphere for connecting with moms. All of you are looking for ways to deepen relationships and draw moms closer to Jesus.
Functional Hat – based on your specific role. Interpret what you read
and ask yourself how this information will make you a better MOPS Mentor, or MOPPETS
leader or Hospitality leader. Even if an article doesn’t initially appear directly related to your role,
each article has been carefully selected with the whole leadership team in mind. Read
articles looking for ways they apply to your situation.
2 hatsSo as you read Connections, we encourage you to wear two hats:wear
Every month of the year is a great time to welcome a new mom to your MOPS group. Invite friends, neighbors and moms you meet around town. Be sure to register new moms for membership right away so they can receive MomSense and all the benefits of membership.
Welcome New Moms Throughout the Year!
Connections January 2011 3
By Shelly RadicInterim CEO
MOPS International
Extending the MOPS Circle
A fter reading the e-mail, I prayed for Kathy and her husband, humbled as I thought about all the preparations they must have made in order to
leave a busy farm and two teenagers. I wasn’t surprised though. Since I’ve known her, Kathy often has driven long distances to encourage and train MOPS moms and leaders. Her long list of Facebook friends includes many of the leaders she’s worked with over the years. As a matter of fact, Kathy’s circle of MOPS friends extends around the world!
How does a MOPS circle of friends grow so large?For most of us, the MOPS circle begins with two or
three other moms. Someone invites us to join MOPS. A Discussion Group Leader (DGL) calls to get acquainted. Relationships that start while creating themed name tags grow during discussion times and over phone calls during off weeks. We discover other moms we can relate to, moms who care about and for one another.
During a phone call, I met a MOPS leader who shared that she was getting acquainted with three new moms in her group who were from China. Why extend her MOPS circle to include them? When she first moved into a new community, MOPS moms befriended her. She wants to pay it forward by helping other new moms find community and friendship.
Since you’re reading Connections, likely you were so in-fluenced by your first MOPS circle that you decided to join a MOPS leadership team. I met Maria, a MOPS Coordina-tor, at a MOMSnext meeting. She spoke of being invited to MOPS by a neighbor. When I asked why she was a MOPS leader, she told me that her MOPS leaders saw something in her she didn’t see in herself — a capable young mom and leader. She’s extended her MOPS circle by leading groups in Virginia, California, Nebraska and Colorado.
The Better Mom Better World research that is founda-tional to my book Momology highlights the importance of having a supportive circle of relationships during our mothering years. These relationships are an essential element for being healthy, resilient moms who raise healthy, resilient kids. MOPS mom Jennifer shared that
while her baby was in a NICU, MOPS friends provided meals for eight weeks. Guess what Jennifer does to extend her MOPS circle? If you guessed organize meals for other moms in her group, then you’re right. MOPS mom Cara shares how much she needed her Mentor’s reminder that she was doing a good job when her 2-year-old was in the tantrum stage. Cara’s now giving that same message to the moms she mentors as she honestly tells them about her own mothering challenges.
In Hebrews 10:24, Paul challenges us with these words: “And let us consider and give attentive, continuous care to watching over one another, studying how we may stir up (stimulate and incite) to love and helpful deeds and noble activities.” (Amplified Bible) When we consider leaders like Maria, Jennifer and Cara, we see a pattern of women being stirred up to care for other moms.
Remember Kathy’s 500 mile trip to North Dakota? Seventeen MOPS leaders from five different groups were encouraged and equipped at that event. As they extend the MOPS circle in their own communities, I wonder how many more moms will be motivated to extend the circle of MOPS even further so that no mom is alone.
“Please pray for Area Developer Kathy
and her husband Bart as they travel
500 miles to host a MOPS Community
Event in North Dakota.”
Inbox:
LeadershipVIEW
Connections January 20114
continued on page 5
The Ripple Effectof Relationships
Interview with Tricia Goyer:
Connections Editor Beth K. Vogt talked
with Tricia Goyer, well-known speaker
and author of 25 books, including
Life Interrupted: The Scoop on Being
a Young Mom, MOPS International’s book
for teen moms. She is also a passionate
advocate for teen moms, helping start a
crisis pregnancy center in
Montana. Tricia talked about
her experience as a woman,
mom and leader — and how
relationships with other
women rippled through her
life and influenced her.
Connections January 2011 5
Tricia and her Teen MOPS group. The whole family!
Tricia, teen mom Kayleigh, and daughter Leslie.
How did you get involved in leadership?I first got involved with my MOPS group when my
Coordinator contacted me, but not in a leadership role. The Coordinator initially asked me to be part of the Steering Team, but I said, “I don’t know. I can’t do that.” And then she said, “Well, how about this?” She wanted topic ideas for meetings, ideas for crafts and games.
She pulled me into leadership. The more I did, the more I’d realize, “I can do this. I do have good ideas.”
I also loved getting to know the ladies in our group better. Spending time with other women, working together, fulfilled the need for friendship.
What do you see in someone that makes you want to ask another woman to step into leadership?
Passion. By that I mean seeing the importance of the group. Then ... do they follow through? A woman can be excited and come to the introduction meeting, but then she drops out. They don’t follow through. Commitment. Commitment in the little things leads to commitment in the bigger things.
A leader doesn’t have to be the most vocal woman. Some women in our leadership are more quiet and shy. Many women say to me, “I love this. I wouldn’t have thought of doing this unless you asked.”
What relationships made a difference in your life?
Being home with your kids can be isolating. Working from home is isolating too. Being in MOPS leadership — any type of leadership role — you’re connecting with other people. If I hadn’t been in leadership, I wouldn’t have taken time for friendships. My friendships grew out of relationships with other MOPS leaders.
Those friends I made from that first Teen MOPS meeting in 2000 — those women are still some of my best friends. We had worked side by side. We had a common mission and a common goal.
Even the friendships with the teen moms was some-thing I absolutely didn’t expect. Girls from that very first group still call me and catch up. Some of them have gone into leadership.
MOPS believes every mom is a leader. What are your thoughts on that?
Even when I started a Teen MOPS group, I was always more of a behind-the-scenes kind of person — publicity, scheduling. I was definitely more of a “You guys be the ones to do the stuff” leader. As a writer, it’s easier to put it on paper. I started doing more speaking. People assumed since I was writing and working in these areas that I wanted to come speak. When I got comfortable in one zone, God would call me to the next level.
When I was leading the first Teen MOPS group, I went to Convention by myself. I’d see someone and ask, “Can I hang out with you? Can I have lunch with you?”
Women think, “I’m not a leader.” Don’t look down on yourself. Other people can see your gifts. We tend to compare our weaknesses to other people’s strengths. I compare myself to author and speaker Liz Curtis Higgs. We don’t have to be the next Liz Curtis Higgs. If other people are asking you to help — they can see something in you that you don’t see.
The MOPS Coordinator who gave me my first oppor-tunity to lead in a MOPS group — she saw something in me. Be willing to take small steps. It doesn’t have to be speaking. Help with hospitality. Where we feel weak gives God a chance to be strong (2 Corinthians 12:9). Being out of your comfort zone is not a bad thing.
Being a leader gives us a chance to be a great role model for our kids. We want our kids to be leaders. To stand up and give a good presentation. To try out for student council.
Our kids are going to mimic what they see. Watching me, my kids have learned, “I can’t, but God can.”
Being involved in MOPS and the pregnancy center and in writing and speaking — my children have seen me set goals, work through goals, achieve those goals. All this has made them more willing to try things for themselves.
© JMK Photography, LLC
Connections January 20116
I t’s easy to look in the mirror and see my flaws. The dark spots around my left eye and up my forehead that become more pronounced when
I get a little sun. The bulge around my mid-section that appeared a couple of years ago — unwelcomed, I might add! The cottage-cheese marks on the back of my thighs. I’m also adept at narrowing-in on my personality defects and emotional cracks. Oh yes, my flaws are easy to find.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
As I breathe in the words found in Psalm 139, I’m reminded that my very being — flaws and all — was knitted together by our magnificent God. He created my body, mind and soul. And he did it with purpose and a plan.
In the last two issues of Connections, we considered how God knows each of us (Psalm 139:1-6) and how God is with each of us (Psalm 139:7-12). In Psalm 139:13-16, we are reminded of how God formed each of us.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Have you ever stopped to think about the intrica-cies of the human body? An average human brain has about 100 billion nerve cells. Blood travels 60,000 miles every day on its journey through the body. Not only do we each have individualized fingerprints, but
even our tongues have unique prints. Consider all that has to happen just so you can think, smile, dance or sing. Pretty incredible!
My frame is not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
From an early age, we begin comparing ourselves to others — often wanting what God has given to them. In elementary school, I thought if I had curly hair and poor eyesight (I just had to have those Strawberry Shortcake glasses), that I would be extra special.
The truth is, I am more than special. God thought of me with my dark, straight hair and now-poor eye-sight long before I was even a sparkle in my mother’s eye. And he thought of you too. God formed every part of you — your height, shape, color and even your personality. God shaped you to be just who you are.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
God created each of us for this lifetime. You are the woman, mom and leader he planned. Think of the way you use your body and mind. Your hands may comfort a sick child, prepare a meal for a new mom or type a MOPS meeting agenda. What about your feet, your laugh, your words? Each day you use these to bring help and hope to those around you, accord-ing to God’s plan.
Like me, do you get caught up in the flaws of your being? Instead, together let’s stand in awe of our amazing creator, who so incredibly formed each of us.
God Formed Me
By Rachel Ryan OliverAssociate Director of Mom and Community Resources
MOPS International
FORMATIONSpiritual Editor’s Note:
This is part three in the continuing series of going deeper into this year’s theme
verse. In the July 2010 issue, we examined Psalm 139:1-6, and how intimately God
knows us. Then in the October 2010 issue, we looked at Psalm 139:7-12, and how
God is everywhere.
Connections January 2011 7
It’s important to take a proactive, not reactive, approach to developing leadership. Don’t wait until you have an empty position to fill on your Steering Team before you start looking. Remember these four steps: Pray, Plan, Prepare and Pass.
PRAY:Covering leadership in prayer is vital. I believe
God can direct us to potential leaders we many not have seen on our own.
PLAN:Use your “leadership radar” while you work
with the women in your MOPS group. Build relationships with them — discovering their passions, strengths — and yes, their weaknesses.
PREPARE:Equip a new MOPS leader to succeed. My first expe-
rience in MOPS was helping my church start a MOPS group. Before ever attending a MOPS meeting, I found myself as the Finance Team leader. I visited a local MOPS group for ideas and guidance. Their finance person was amazing. She shared her reports, talking through how they first came up with their budget and what they had learned over a couple of years. I encour-age leaders to connect with someone who knows the ins and outs of their position. Your group may look very different than the one you visit, but seeing another group in action is a good way to get the basics.
PASS:Once your new leaders are in place and you’ve given them the tools to be successful leaders, the next step is a smooth transition. Determine a time frame to pass the baton, allowing you to step out and them to step in. Be sure to let the new leader know you are available and continue to pray and provide encouragement. You are stepping away, allowing that leader to fully engage in her new role.
Leadership Challenge
By Bonnie SmithMOPS Field Manager
As I think about bringing on new leaders, how do I equip them for their positions?
Answers toYOUR QUESTIONS
1. Visit MOPSGuide.org and familiarize yourself
with MOPS leadership resources.
2. Join the Leaders’ forums to network with
other leaders and read their ideas on the Idea
Exchange.
3. Mentor someone — Have a potential leader
“shadow” you for a year, slowly adding to her
responsibilities until she is able to carry the
position on her own.
4. Hold summer training for all leadership posi-
tions. Break women into small group trainings
and then large group team building time.
5. Identify potential leaders’ spiritual gifts.
Leading is not just about being capable — it’s
also about loving what you are doing.
6. Be sure to attend MOPS International events
such as Summit, Convention and local Community
Events — and bring potential leaders with you.
Leadership training and networking with others
in the same position can gear them up for the year.
7. Ask your local Field Leader for training tips
or upcoming Hot Topic conference calls.
Here are seven other ways to nurture and equip a new leader:
Visit MOPSGuide.org
Connections January 20118
D iscussion Groups are the core of MOPS meetings. This portion of your weekly time together provides an opportunity for moms
to connect and communicate with one another. Within these groups, community is formed.
In the October 2010 issue of Connections, I shared several practical ideas to help Discussion Group Leaders (DGLs) foster positive group development. I discussed Stage One: Connection. During this time, members get to know one another and build trust. When you pay attention to laying a firm foundation, growing into the next two stages of group develop-ment is much easier.
Stage Two: CommunicationWith trust built and connections forming, a small
group can begin to cultivate great communication. Communication is crucial to MOPS moms who have
come to share with and to learn alongside other women. During the Communication stage, thoughts and ideas are freely expressed and group members become more com-fortable sharing emotions. As you lead your group through Stage Two, you come to know group members better and feel more able to reach out to them.
Activity: Ask open-ended questionsKnowing how to ask open-ended questions makes
a world of difference when seeking to promote good communication. If a question can be answered with one word, it won’t facilitate open sharing. Try beginning your questions with, “Tell me about ...” Doing so encourages people to discuss what they’re really thinking.
Why this works: When you ask people to share their thoughts on a subject, they answer in sentences, instead of single words. This often leads to follow-up questions posed by other group members. Before you know it, your discussion group is off and running!
Activity: Pay attention to eye contact and body language
Be sure to focus on your group members as they open up. Look at them. Maintain good eye contact. Focus only on your group, ignoring distractions. Be sure to be open in your body language, paying special attention to leaving your arms unfolded.
Why this works: With more and more of our daily communication occurring electronically, we experi-ence less eye contact than any other time in history. Because eye contact happens so infrequently, look-ing at someone directly has more of an impact today than ever before. When you intentionally look into someone’s eyes, you send a message to her that she matters, that she’s holding your attention. She’s worth your time, energy and focus. What a gift to offer your group members!
Cultivating Communication and Honoring Relationships
By Nadia Swearingen-Friesen
SOLUTIONSLeadership Editor’s Note:
This is part two of a two-part series to equip Discussion Group Leaders (DGLs) to develop healthy, intimate small groups. In the October 2010
issue of Connections, writer Nadia Swearingen-Friesen explored the first stage of small group development: Connection. In this issue, Nadia explains the next two stages: Communication and Closure/Continuation. This is a practical series to share with all your DGLs,
MOPS Mentors and even potential leaders. The first article is at MOPSGuide.org.
With more and more of our daily communication occurring electronically, we experience less eye contact than any other time in history. Because eye contact happens so infrequently, looking at someone directly has more of an impact today than ever before.
Connections January 2011 9
As you work with your group, always remember that moving on to Stage Two: Communication, does not mean that you leave behind Stage One: Connection. When you remember that these two stages of small group development work together, facilitating your group will be easier and more effective. If conversation slows, revisit an activity that worked well when you were getting to know one another. Use your “whip-arounds” every time you meet and your group will continue to grow in their ability to connect and communicate with each other. (Whip-arounds were explained in the first article, which is available at MOPSGuide.org.)
Stage Three: Closure and Continuation
While it may seem that we have covered all the important group development stages, there is one more stage to discover. The third and final develop-mental stage is called Closure and Continuation. This stage comes at the end of the MOPS year and can be easily overlooked. When we are distracted by the end of the year busyness, adding another item to our To-Do list may seem unrealistic. Bringing closure to your group sends a clear message that you value the process you’ve shared as a Discussion Group. Closure offers the opportunity to honor the bonds that have been formed and the friendships that have deepened.
Activity: Brainstorm MOPS experiencesWith your group, create a list of experiences you
shared during the MOPS year. Take a few minutes to reflect on those memories and talk about which were most important to each person.
Why this works: Providing a time of reflection and evaluation can help group members to remember what they have learned and experienced together. As a DGL, you have the opportunity to encourage each mom to make these lessons and memories a part of her everyday life.
Activity: Plan an activity outside of a MOPS meeting
Exchange e-mail addresses and set a date to meet at a park or go for dinner to reconnect away from your regular group meeting. Planning this for the summer months, when the support of MOPS groups is lessened, can be especially helpful to many moms.
Why this works: The final stage of group develop-ment signals an end to what you have shared, but also helps group members look forward to continued friendship. By planning an event outside of MOPS, you send a message to your group that the relation-ships you’ve formed reach beyond MOPS, offering support throughout the year. By maintaining contact with your group, you also have the opportunity to keep them informed about upcoming MOPS activities, as well as the start of a new season.
Running a Discussion Group is important work. As your group members get to know one another, they will feel more connected. As they become more comfortable and grow in trust, they will communi-cate more freely. And as your season ends, you’ll be able to close out your group in a way that honors the shared times together while helping set the stage for future experiences. Intentionally facilitating your group through these stages of development is worth your effort and creates not just an effective group, but a community as well.
Nadia is a writer and national speaker with a passion for empowering moms to embrace intentional parenting. She loves to share at MOPS groups and on her blog at http://NadiaSwearingen-Friesen.blogspot.com.
Connections January 201110
I n the planning meeting, I participated in the discussion and was prepared to discuss both the pros and cons of a particular issue. However,
along with helpful comments, I threw out a few sarcastic quips. It wasn’t until much later, at a
communications workshop, that I identified how my tendency toward sarcasm can derail positive communications. It’s so much easier to look at how other people cause difficulties in communications. Turning the mirror toward my own attitudes and behaviors and my own part in team dynamics can be painful.
Working together on a leadership team is a con-tinual process of learning to communicate clearly and reaching decisions together as a team. This is true whether you are leading a MOPS or MOMSnext group, leading a community organization such as PTA or leading in a corporate setting.
When I have different ideas than another leader, I’m tempted to point to the other leader and find fault with them. However, it’s more productive to look at myself and my behaviors to see what I am contributing to the situation. After all, my own behavior is the only thing I can control. Pointing at someone else and trying to assign blame doesn’t lead to long-term positive relationships and team productivity. When
I find myself in a situation of potential conflict or disagreement, a couple of principles are helpful:n Focus on the issue not the individual.n Lean into the conversation, rather than withdrawing.
Focus on the issueOver the past several months, your MOPS leadership
team may have disagreed about some issues. This is normal — even healthy — as it means your team has a breadth of personalities and viewpoints. As you navi-gate potential disagreements, clear communication on issues is important. It’s easy to move from discussion of an issue into an interpersonal conflict with another individual on the team. Commit together to keeping the focus on issues. This will make it less likely that disagreements will damage relationships.
When discussing issues, I may attach too much importance to the topic. This is where I need to examine my motives. Continuing to debate just for the sake of “winning” isn’t a behavior that builds positive team relationships. I need to let go of my personal desire to have the last word in a conversation, especially when I revert to sarcasm.
Lean into the conversationIt’s tempting to withdraw back into myself when I’m
participating on a team that has differing viewpoints. My lack of engagement actually represents a lack of com-mitment to the mission of the team. While I may avoid conflict by sitting back and not engaging, I’m abdicating my responsibility to the team and not investing the abilities God has given me in the process. Rather than withdrawing, I can mentally maintain an active posture and lean into the conversation. This active involvement tells my teammates that I’m invested in the process and interested in helping move the team toward resolution.
Learning to communicate clearly and positively is a life-long process. My commitment to grow in this area greatly influences my ministry, work and personal effectiveness.
Thanks to Kirk Kirlin and David Zimmerman, coaches with CRM (Church Resource Ministries) and the book Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most (Stone, Patton, Heen, Penguin Books, 2010).
Team Dynamics:Fostering Communication While Avoiding Disagreements
By Carla FooteSenior Director of
Community and Resources
RESOURCESLeadership
Working together
on a leadership
team is a continual
process of learning
to communicate
clearly, reaching
decisions together
as a team.
Connections January 2011 11
Why Field Leadership?
F ive years ago I spent a fair share of time telling others what I’m not good at, talking myself out of some truly great opportunities and, when
asked for input, doubting I had anything to contribute. Since then, the glass ceilings I placed on my life have been blown to pieces as God continues to use, grow and stretch me with opportunities to serve.
I came to MOPS for me. I was lonely, searching for anyone who could relate to me. I was hooked before I paid for my first semester dues. It didn’t take much longer for me to hear about serving on the Steering Team. Then I decided to help charter a MOPS group at my home church.
It was when our church started a Teen MOPS group that I connected with our local MOPS Field Leadership Team. I leaned on our Coach to answer questions about chartering a second group, dividing leaders to support two groups, convincing our Chartering Ministry to support two groups and sometimes just merely for encouragement.
I attended several local trainings offered by this Field Leader, who shared the opportunities available to me as a local leader beginning to transition out of leading a MOPS group. My first reaction? To laugh and list all the reasons I couldn’t walk alongside leaders and support them. I reminded her how many times I needed her to help me make decisions or to calm conflict between other leaders. She listened — and then explained that the reasons I gave why I shouldn’t be a Field Leader were the very reasons I should consider this next level of leadership.
I’ve served in Field Leadership for five years. During this same time, my family and friends have experienced tremendous loss, pain and suffering. Too many funerals for loved ones. Some unimaginable health diagnoses for those closest to me. My best friend receiving a prison sentence.
God foreknew all these situations when he called me to serve. He put people in my life through MOPS, and especially Field Leadership, to bring me through the ugliness. He’s continued to provide me the time, energy and resources to support the local leaders I serve. God pushed me to use my experiences to guide others through MOPS.
I’m the same woman who attended her first year of Steering Team meetings — the only leader unable to pray out loud. I’m the same woman who doubted herself and what she had to offer when asked if she was interested in serving others. I’m the same woman
who cried at the thought of having to introduce herself to a new person. I’m the woman MOPS empowered to value who she is as a woman, mother and leader.
MOPS equips each leader to realize her true poten-tial, using it to passionately serve others. If someone before me hadn’t taken a chance and answered the call to Field Leadership there might not have been a ministry to influence me and other mothers like me.
LeadershipRESOURCES
By Courtney CorbettArea DeveloperArea 14, Illinois
If you answered yes to any one of these questions, you
might be a future Field Leader. MOPS International’s
Field Leader team is the hands and feet of the MOPS
ministry, walking alongside leaders to equip them to
reach more moms.
MOPS InternationalField Leadership
For more information go to MOPS.org/volunteer or e-mail [email protected]
Do you share MOPS with every Mom you meet?Are you comfortable with
Social Networking?Do you enjoy detail-oriented work?
Do you coach, teach or mentor?Do you invest in
relationships?
Courtney Corbett (on left) and other MOPS Field Leaders.
Connections January 201112
• Michael Hines • Mike Sweeney• Stephen Willey • MOPPETS TeachersGrace Christian Fellowship of Cortland, NY
A room of 25 rambunctious 2-year-olds is not for the faint of heart. These three men manage to entertain, distract, comfort and love MOPPETS twice a month. Though they came to MOPPETS on different paths, they all stayed for their love of kids and having fun.
In their words: I’ve experienced blessings through this class that a veteran MOPS mom described as one that you “wouldn’t want to get near with a 10-foot pole!” (Michael). MOPS gives moms a break and hopefully grows families closer together and closer to God (Mike). It’s fun and exciting and when it’s all done, my three kids don’t seem so bad, compared to 25 2-year-olds (Stephen).
• Ben Lane • BaristaKenwood Baptist Church of Cincinnati, OH
For the last two years, Ben has concocted made-to-order lattes at the annual MOPS Pampering Day. He supplied the milk, flavored syrups and espresso maker and used his barista skills to make warm, tasty comfort drinks for the moms in attendance.
In his words: It’s nice to be
able to give something back
to these mothers who are
constantly serving their
children and families.
MOPS allows my wife
and her friends a chance
to share their struggles and joys,
learn from one another and encourage
one another.
The Men of MOPS
Behind every great MOPS group are women like you — leaders who offer their
talents, time and treasure to make MOPS happen. Often unnoticed are the
men behind the scenes who also contribute in unique ways to their local
MOPS ministries. Husbands, pastors and MOPPETS teachers can help give your
MOPS group that special touch. As we pay tribute to all of the men who serve moms
by serving MOPS, we share the stories and words of just a few. Read on to discover
how the following men support MOPS and why they choose to give to this ministry.
Michael Hines, Mike Sweeney and Stephen Willey enjoy the adventures of their 2-year-old MOPPETS class in Cortland, NY.
By Alexandra KuykendallMinistry Strategist
Connections January 2011 13
• Bryan Patrick• PastorFirst Baptist Church of Laurel, MD
Bryan sees the need for effective outreach to young families and knows his church needs
young leaders in order to grow. So he’s spoken up for MOPS at church leadership meetings and given Steering Team leaders advice on how to navigate the bureaucracy of their large church. He uses his official role to act as unofficial MOPS advocate.
In his words: I’ve seen the positive impact on families in our church. How could I not champion these ladies to help them do what they feel called to do? Whenever I find myself in a position to advocate for them or help them, it’s really a pleasure to do so, knowing they are grateful and may have the opportunity to reach more mothers and families.
• Gary Strand• GreeterGlendale Christian Church of Springfield, MO
When Gary retired a few years ago, his wife chal-lenged him to join her in her service to MOPS. Gary wasn’t sure he had much to contribute. But he has found his place as part of a four-grandfather team that welcomes every MOPS mom as she pulls into the church parking lot. Gary and his crew cart in food moms prepare, carry babies, walk children across the parking lot and park moms’ vehicles. Talk about a personal touch!
In his words: We realize that moms of preschoolers encounter many challenges during their day. If we can do something to help make just this one morning a little less stressful, then maybe we can contribute to making their whole week more enjoyable.
• Don Nytrai• Financial SupporterFirst Baptist Church of Kerrville, TX
A few years ago Don saw an ad in his church bulletin asking church members to scholarship a MOPS mom for a year. When he heard the
scholarship provided a mom a meal, childcare and biblically-based teaching at every MOPS meeting, he rushed to sign up. In fact, he asked his parents to each sponsor a MOPS mom on his behalf as his Christmas gift. All three have continued to sponsor a mom every year since.
In his words: I think it’s a pretty good deal. In fact, I can’t think of any better way to spend money than to invest in a solid Christian foundation for a mother.
Whether he sleeps next to you at night or speaks to you from the pulpit
on Sundays, take a moment this Valentine’s season to give a special
thanks to the men you know who use their unique gifts and influence
for your MOPS ministry. And don’t forget to introduce yourself to the
guy sitting next to you at church — he can probably park cars!
Connections January 201114
W hen you concern yourself more with developing a relationship with another woman, rather than having all the right
answers at just the right time, you’ll relax. She’ll relax. And as 1 Peter 3:15 instructs, you’ll be ready to give an answer when another mom asks you why Jesus gives you hope.
As you’re developing a friendship with another mom, take time to listen to what she’s saying — what’s important to her. You can’t really listen if you’re busy figuring out how to slip in a Scripture verse or a “Do you know Jesus?” question the first time she takes a breath.
Listen for “touch points” — areas of common ground, where your life experience touches hers. Things like:
n a specific topic (motherhood) n an emotion (excitement about milestones
your children have reached)n specific people (a favorite author)n past experiences (jobs, hobbies, family
situations)
Guide the conversation to common ground and then listen. If a woman feels listened to, she feels affirmed. And often she is then more willing to listen to you. It’s important to first build on areas that you agree before moving on to areas where you disagree. And, if you do disagree, don’t say, “You’re wrong.” Instead, share your story, explaining how you live out your beliefs.
When you finally have the chance to share your story, be honest. Share your struggles with doubt or pain, as well as the joy you’ve experienced and how your faith has helped you through difficult times.
Relax and try to avoid Christianese — all the churchy phrases you’re familiar with but that might confuse someone who has no experience with Sunday school or Bible studies. And remember, you’re sharing with a friend, not participating in a debate where someone has to win and someone has to lose.
If someone in your MOPS group asks about how she can grow closer to God, share what has helped you. Do you have a favorite Scripture verse that has comforted you during a tough time? Has a particu-lar Bible study, like Lord I Want to Know You, a devotional study on the names of God by Kay Arthur, helped you know God better? Or has Intimate Conversations by Alicia Britt Chole encouraged you? You don’t have to pull out an alphabetical list of resources. Just talk about what has made a differ-ence in your life and maybe offer to loan her your copy of a book, or even read it with her and talk about it.
Most importantly, remember that God is at the center of the process. Pray that you will have the eyes to see where God is working in your relation-ships with other women. Be willing to follow his leading — both by what you say and by what you do — to bring other women one step closer to him.
Adapted from: “Touch Points: Finding Common Ground” by Dr. Liz Selzer, Connections, January 2007
Templates for “Deepening Relationships and Sharing Stories” by Jessica Haase, January 2007
Relational EvangelismReady with an Answer
FORMATIONSpiritual
Now on the MOPS Guide:
updated forums for all the topics you need
in leadership.
Visit MOPSGuide.org today.
Talk with other MOPS leaders
Talking to another mom about your faith.
It’s not that difficult.
Really.
Connections January 2011 15
A safe, inviting MOPPETS environment leaves a lasting impression on MOPS moms. The entire Steering Team should be involved in
creating an effective program, offering encourage-ment, helping with registration and recruiting workers.
Assembling reliable workers is key to a successful MOPPETS program. Assess specific qualifications for MOPPETS workers, such as age requirements and ratio of teen to adult workers. Then alert your Chartering Ministry to the need for childcare workers, asking them to place ads in weekly newsletters or notify various church ministries in the church.
Be creative when recruiting volunteers. Work with other MOPS groups who meet at different times, local colleges with a community service program, senior citizens’ groups and home school co-ops.
Once the team is in place, remember to:n Partner with the Chartering Ministry to develop
procedures, including background checks and childcare guidelines. Develop policies regarding registration and safety, as well as activities and schedules.
n Train workers and post policies in the classroom. Provide moms with a handbook outlining the purpose of the program, as well as the policies and procedures.
n Prepare lessons or activities for the workers and give each worker a schedule of the day’s activities.
Encouraging workers, children and moms is a MOPPETS leader’s primary focus. Appreciate workers through verbal and written affirmation, utilizing both cards and small gifts. Give moms a chance to connect with MOPPETS workers. Provide a time during the year for workers to share with moms how being a MOPPETS worker impacts their lives.
By Vicki GommierCommunity Coach
Florida
MOPPETS: Team Effort Strengthens Program
LeadershipRESOURCES
Januaryn Keep inviting new moms to MOPS. Register moms for the MOPS International Membership so they get connected right away.
n Look for potential leaders. Encourage them to take on leadership tasks during the winter and spring. Ask them to pray about becoming a part of leadership.
n Host a mid-year Steering retreat. Relax and reconnect while reviewing your accomplish- ments and determining improvements. Utilize a MOPS Leadership DVD from your Leader’s Library.
n Do you have a backup plan when speakers are unable to come due to illness? Consider the Momology Curriculum DVD from your Leader’s Library.
n Be sure your leaders are part of Group Setup on the Group Manage- ment page so that they receive Connections magazine and Leaders Online e-mails.
Februaryn Offer an off-MOPS-week Bible study or topical study to
address deeper topics.n Host a MOPS and POPS event.n Make a basket of homemade treats for your Chartering Ministry. Include a note of appreciation for their support.
n Register your Steering Team for the MOPS International Summit. Invite potential leaders to register.
Marchn Host an Appreciation Church Staff Lunch. Have a Steering Team leader or mom share her MOPS story. n Consider a spring service project for your group.n Invite moms to share their faith stories during a meeting.
Mid-Year Checklist
Use all the resources MOPS International provides
to equip you for leadership!
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Convention 2011New Weekend Dates!
Friday, August 5 – Sunday, August 7, 2011
Gaylord Opryland, Nashville, TNTravis Cottrell leading worship
Register Early and Save! Early Registration Opens Jan. 26
$195 – Save $34!Regular Registration Opens April 1
$229 – same price as 2010!
Registration for MOPS events is transferable but not refundableRegister and get more information at MOPS.org/Events
Registration opening soonMOPS EVENTS for 2011!
Saturday, April 2, 2011Registration opens Jan. 19
Live location: Arvada Covenant Church, Arvada, CO $45 includes lunch
Plus 32-40 Nationwide site locations — $35
A day of training for MOPS leaders and prospective leaders with speakers Dale and Jonalyn Fincher,
authors of Coffee Shop Conversations
LEADERSHIPSUMMIT 2011
