The Definitive Non-Networking Guide to Make Friends

8/13/2019 The Definitive Non-Networking Guide to Make Friends

1/24

The Definitive Non-Networking Guide:

How To Make Friendsby Kyle Eschenroeder 43 comments

a couple actors shaking hands (played by paid actors ZING! hahahoho!

"startupbros"com#netorking$ithout$netorking$anti%ragile$netorking#

I hate networking.

&hen riting the netorking section %or our upcoming book I rede%ined netorking as 'authentically making friends within areas

you want to be in'" It hurts to say 'netorking because it bring up images o% o)er$ (or under$ dressed people chucking business

cards like nin*a stars" It sucks" +hey suck"

I don,t e)en understand hat netorking is" I looked it up on Google and I got back

de%initions %or connecting computers" E)en Google doesn,t kno hat netorking is"Google is probably the best netorker I kno- though" +hey connect e)erybody to

e)erything and e)eryone" Google has netorked me ith all sorts o% people"

+he other day I as sitting on my couch talking ith some people ho are starting a ne

school (a Ne .chool ne school on the halloed grounds o% /lack 0ountain 1ollegeand e ere talking about education and meditation and ha)ing a *olly$good time" It

came up that I had authored a book" No- &ill and I are the authors o% re2uired reading

%or their ne program"
http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/#commentshttp://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/handshake/http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/#comments


2/24

%lesh machines connecting!

It,s only a%ter they le%t that I realied something like netorking had *ust happened" It,s

only a%ter a moment o%- '0G- did e *ust become besties5 that e ere able to mo)eon to hat I think most people ould call netorking"

&ill and I are still reco)ering %rom our to eeks o% .tartup/us and .6.&" &e built a

company in three days on .tartup/us and .6.& is a tech con%erence and music and

mo)ie %esti)al" It,s all )ery aesome" 7eople like to netork hardcore at those things"+hey thro business cards into your eye ball and say that e,ll synergie our connection

later" I ha)e a stack o% business cards and I ha)e no idea ho ga)e them all to me"

&hen I talk about the e8perience and all the amaing ne %riends I made people ill say-

'&o! .ounds like you did some aesome netorking! I guess they,re right"

Again, networking, in m !ook, means making authenti" friends. I% I ant to'netork ithin a certain industry then I,ll meet a bunch o% people in that industry and

see i% I become %riends ith any o% them"

#ome reasons we fee$ $ike we need to network:

9" %eo&$e te$$ us we need to network. :nd so e *ust assume that e need to spend

a ton o% time making connections"

;" 'ther &eo&$e are networking with a fervor. h no! elationships are a huge part o% li%e and business

but I don,t kno i% card$slinging builds relationships" 0aking %riends buildsrelationships" /eing generous and lo)ing ith people builds relationships"

4" +ou need that thing the have. kay" ?ou don,t need to netork to get it- youneed to make an o%%er" @riendship isn,t a possibility here because you can,t makea %riend hen you,re thinking about hat you ant %rom them"

A" motiona$ su&&ort. 0aybe this isn,t hat e think about hen e,re

netorking but- in the end- it,s one o% the best thing a strong netork pro)ides"

nly %riends can pro)ide that though"
http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/screen-shot-2013-03-26-at-8-50-39-pm/


3/24

I ha)e a good %riend ho is a pro%essional netorker" I lo)e her but she has netorked

too much and made too little" .he knos it and is currently correcting"

I,m not negati)e on ha)ing a netork o% people to reach out to" &hat I,m concerned ithhere is sitching the netork %rom 'people I can call %or %a)ors and %urther connections

into '%riends"

?E:B!

h make friends instead of ("onta"ts*

9" The wi$$ he$& ou more. : %riend is more illing to help you than a

business ac2uaintance" &hat,s in it %or him5 Nothing5 1lick";" It)s more fun. Friends are fun.It,s %un to meet people and pursue the relationships that mean something to you" It,s %un

to connect ith people ithout orrying about hat they can do %or you"3" It)s easier.+hings that are %un are easy to do" &hen things are easy to do you keep doing them" I% you,re ha)ing a good

time building your tribe and making %riends then you ill ha)e a massi)e group o% connections be%ore you kno it"

4" It kee&s ou "$oser to our dream.&hen you %ollo true %riendships you stay close to the place you ant to be" ?ou ill

resonate ith people ho ant similar things to you" I% you are %orcing yoursel% to spend time ith people you don,t likeyou can %eel yoursel% )eering o%% your path"

A" +ou won)t !e"ome a $iar.E)en i% you ne)er tell them a lie- you,re lying to

yoursel% by in)esting time ith people you don,t actually like" ?ou,re also lying

to them by making them think you ant to be their %riend hen you don,t" It,s*ust dirty all the ay around"

C" The &eo&$e in our $ife a"tua$$ matter.=i%e is too short to hate the people in it"

I ant to spend e)ery day ith people I lo)e" I rite the things on this blog toconnect ith people like you ho resonate ith the message" ?ou,re ho I ant

to be spending my time ith" Not haters" Not naysayers" Not %uckads gi)ing

me paper$cuts at con%erences- barely stopping %or an eye$to$eye" ?ou" I ouldn,t

mind spending time ith that cute barista behind the counter eitherD
http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/super_friends/


4/24

0ake a %riend!

+hose ho are still trying to netork like a dad (ie old school are missing out on

making real human connections and stressing themsel)es out" 0aybe I don,t knoanything about anything" :ctually- I kno I don,t kno anything" &hate)er" +he

%olloing are things I do to make better %riends" I ha)e a lot o% %riends" I,m not popular- I*ust stick my neck out to a lot o% people" .ome chop it o%% and some gi)e me a hug"

It,s eird-I like to do business with the same people that give me hugs.I,m eird" &e,reall eird no- right5

.hoot- I,m getting ahead o% mysel%" &eirdness is one o% my Ftechni2ues,"

Here are m favorite was to make

friends:

/$eed honest$ and $earn to "ommuni"ate.
http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/ski-instructor-friends/


5/24

/e honest loudly" &hen you,re honest about hat you,re thinking then you ill attract

others ho resonate ith your ideas" E)en be%ore .tartup/ros I blogged on mypersonal

siteand ould talk about things that ere personal" =ike scary personal" I talk about mydepression and suicidal thoughts and some o% the girls I,)e had se8 ith" I talk about

philosophy and the nature o% e8istence and ays to be happier and ays to li)e more

deeply" I *ust talk about hat interests me" &hate)er I can,t put here %or you goes there" Iha)e to talk about it somehere"

no she doesn,t ha)e a choice

:t %irst I *ust did it because I ha)e to rite ideas and I ha)e to share them" It,s *ustsomething that I ha)e to do or else I pop and probably die" It as only a%ter a year or so

that I realied I as getting better at riting (people on reddit may disagree" :%ter to

years I realied that a ton o% people ere reading the blog" I asn,t getting amaingamounts o% tra%%ic but people ho I ne)er suspected ere coming up to me or sendingemails and thanking me %or helping their li%e" +hey ould share the articles ith people

ho needed them"

ther people ould approach me and begin con)ersations" +hey ere *ust ac2uaintances

be%ore and I had no idea that e ere interested in the same kinds o% things" No eere ha)ing interesting talks and I had a ne %riend" Bell yeah!

No ith .tartup/ros I get mail e)ery day talking about ho an article helped a li%e"

ther people email *ust anting to talk about ideas" &hen &ill and I ent to .6.& e

hung out ith a bunch o% people ho e ouldn,t ha)e e)en knon about i% it eren,t%or .tartup/ros" &e made %riends that e,ll ha)e %ore)er" :nd they,re all genius

business$techies- so it,s probably netorking- too"

I% nobody knos about your ideas or the things that you,re embarrassed about thenyou,re going to ha)e lame relationships you,re hole li%e" ?ou on,t be able to

communicate ith other people ho also thing that eird thing about you is cool"
http://www.kyleschen.com/http://www.kyleschen.com/http://www.kyleschen.com/http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/honesty-tattoo/http://www.kyleschen.com/http://www.kyleschen.com/


6/24

pen up to others to make room %or a human connection" +hen learn to communicate that

e%%ecti)ely"

sometimes it,s as simple as being interested

/e interesting 0ie: weird1.

&ell- you,re already eird" +his is more about embracing it than actually being it" I% you

talk to anybody %or long enough they ill become %ascinating" E)erybody has a craystory e)en i% they don,t realie it"

kay I hit a all riting this *ust as on .alem called me" on is an :


7/24

+hree o% the people mentioned in this post are in this picture +edd @o8 is in the back le%t

ith the cray %ace" Egon is up %ront ith his hat" 0ansal,s head is right abo)e his" :ndI,m o)er there on the right smiling up a storm

+he %irst thing +edd @o8 said to me as a *oke too dirty to put on the internet (too dirty

for the internet!)and then he kept making *okes that I had to laugh at" I% I ere 1atholic I

ould probably ha)e to repent %or laughing later but I,m not- so I *ust kept laughing"+edd is one o% the eirdest people I kno and he,s made three H9 apps %or )arious

companies" Be,s a champion and he,s hilarious and no he,s a good %riend" I% you ant

to get a taste o% +edd (or you need help ith mobile de)elopment check outNine>ocketships"

(+ou $ook $ike shit.*+hat,s Zach 7rice,s idea o% introducing himsel%" Be asn,t rong"

I as still drunk %rom the (Ne rleansian night be%ore and hadn,t sha)ed or slept"
http://www.ninerocketships.com/http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/893972_4793801158714_1828541070_o/http://www.ninerocketships.com/


8/24

Indeed- I looked like shit" I% Zach didn,t introduce himsel% in such an interesting ay I

ouldn,t kno him as ell as I do no" :s it turns out- Zach is one o% the

nicest#coolest#smartest dudes on the planet and a publisher" &e recorded a podcast %oryou on the %uture o% the publishing industry and e,ll probably be orking ith Zach in

the %uture to launch a couple pro*ects e ha)e lined up"

I almost %orgot Egon! Egon contacted us through .tartup/ros"com and e had a beer

ith him" +he %irst thing he started talking about as 2uantum physics and biarrephilosophies mashed into cray sciences" YES! It asn,t until a couple hours later that e

learned about his business" Be ended up going on the .tartup/us and staying at the

.tartup/ros house %or .6.&" +he guy epitomies eirdness in the best ay possible"

:nd no I can,t stop thinking o% them" I can,t e)en begin to mention them all" (.orry

e)eryone!

That s$iver of weird that ou hide awa is our greatest asset..top co)ering up the

most interesting thing about you"

ne o% the best uses %or social media is to sho e)erybody hat,s interesting to you" +hemore you post the more chances you ha)e o% %inding somebody else that,s interested also"

&hen somebody '=ikes that you posted an article- message them about it" +hey are

signaling to you that- 'Bey- me too!

.ho people hat you,re interested in and be interested in them and stop repressing theeirdness and ou "an)t he$& !ut !e interesting.
http://iamphi.com/http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/phone-clipart/http://iamphi.com/


9/24

seet ringing

2a$$ &eo&$e.

I,)e been getting in the habit o% randomly calling people in the car" It,s much better and

more engaging than the radio" I e)en call &ill e)ery once in a hile" &e li)e closetogether but still spend most days te8ting and emailing .tartup/ros stu%%" It,s more %un to

go )oice$to$)oice"

I *ust told you on called me" Be got my ords %loing again" Be didn,t mean to do that"ust the thought o% 'I,ll call Kyle then he clicked the buttons to do it"

I did that ith my great aunt the other day" .he,s one o% the isest omen I kno" I

didn,t ha)e anything to talk to her about but I called her and 3 minutes later she had to

lea)e our %ascinating con)ersation"

.ometimes I ill call a %riend I ha)en,t spoken to in a year" .ometimes a %riendship thathas gone stale is re)i)ed" .ometimes not" It doesn,t matter- it still %elt good to pick up the

phone and call someone"

3andom a"ts of "onne"tion.

+his is an e8tension o% calling people" Keep %riendships siling"
http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/free-hug/


10/24

I as talking the other day to a 3$something entrepreneur about this hole %riend$

making business" Bis most important thing to say as- ':nd keep connected- otherise

they *ust %ade aayD and his )oice %aded aay ith saying that" Be as thinking about%riendships that he ish he still had"

It,s hard" ?ou can,t keep in contact ith e)ery person you meet" I can barely keep incontact ith my %amily and close %riends that I see e)ery day" E)ery time you read a nes

article ask yoursel% ho you kno ho ould %ind it interesting" .end it to them"

&hen a picture makes you laugh- send it to someone"

ust click '=ike on @acebook" .top being so stingy ith those things" Bo do you %eel

hen you get one5 =ike a king! .pread the lo)e- it,s not like you only ha)e a %e o%

them"

.end random te8ts saying hello or gi)ing out some eird piece o% in%ormation"

ust make random acts o% human connection"

+IGE> 7I1+J>E.
http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/tiger/


11/24

Give them something.

?ou can,t get anything ithout gi)ing anything" +his isn,t a debit system- either" Gi)ing

ithout getting is the only kind o% gi)ing that matters" .o you ha)e to gi)e more andmore and more the kind o% gi)ing that %eels good"

?ou need to be generous right no" ?ou need to stop hoarding e)erything and start

gi)ing it aay" =et,s say you ant to meet some 1E that e)erybody else ants to meet"

E)eryone is taking %rom him" 'Gi)e me this and that please" Nobody gi)e him anythinganymore"

Be has e)erything! &hat could you possible gi)e him5 Ideas!

Get good at ha)ing ideas" Bere are some to start you o%%

Gi)e them nutrition ad)ice"

Gi)e them %itness ad)ice"

.end them an article you think they,d en*oy"

>elationship ad)ice"

Ideas to help %urther their cause"

Ideas to help them get more business"

Ideas to market their products"

Ideas %or %eatures %or their products"

: %la you noticed hile using their product"

In%ormation about one o% their passions"

Ideas %or their %amily members"

1ompliment something they,)e done"

.tartup/ros has been getting to that eird stage here it,s hard to keep up ith email"

&ill and I get emailed by people and e lo)e it! It,s *ust hard to keep up" .o many o% the

emails look the same"

+hen Eric starts emailing about trading and meditation and interesting things he,s doing"

+hen 1asey emails and says- '?our site looks like shit and here,s hat I,d do about it"

/oth o% them are aesome guys that I can,t ait to continue talking ith"
http://www.startupbros.com/how-to-have-ideas-now/http://www.startupbros.com/how-to-have-ideas-now/http://www.startupbros.com/how-to-have-ideas-now/


12/24

E)en hen you ha)e 'nothing to gi)e- you ha)e your mind" .ack up and realie that you

ha)e good ideas" +hat you,re as interesting as anyone else"

0:KE0:KE0:KE

Make things.

7eople ho make things are more interesting than people ho don,t make things" &hen

you ha)e made things then you ha)e more ays to help people" +here are more ays %or

you to help your %riends out"

I% you,re trying to get a *ob- it,s nice to be able to point to something and say- '=ookhat I did!

0aking things ith people is one o% the best %eelings in the orld" It,s aesome hen

you ha)e something that you,re making and you can in)ol)e other people in it"

ne o% the people ho e hung out ith constantly at .6.& as 0ansal %rom+he

Backed 0ind" 0ansal doesn,t drink" Be,s not a )egan or paleo$er but he has his onregimen that is e)en more insane" &ill and I drink though" &e hung out ith 0ansal a

bunch o% nights and drunkenly yelled" Be said I as still smart but '*ust more

passionate" I guess I can deal ith that"

h yeah- making things" &e made a podcast together! ust because e both like making

things" &e also inter)ieed the 1E o% 0ediaBound because 0ansal is aesome"
http://thehackedmind.com/http://thehackedmind.com/http://thehackedmind.com/http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/make_something/http://thehackedmind.com/http://thehackedmind.com/


13/24

&hen you make things it,s easier to help you out" .tart making something no" 0akers

dra in good people"

a human is a human

Humans are humans.

?eah- but hat i% I ant to meet a %amous person!5 &ell- then meet them"

:t .6.& I alked up to ack /lack and told him that he in%ormed my entire childhood"

Be asked- '&hat are you- tenty5 +hen the security cards came and pushed me aay

because the surrounding crod no thought they could talk to ack /lack" /astardsruined it %or me" .ome humans ha)e security guards sometimes"

ack /lack or 7eter +hiel or .te)e obs all are humans ith the same human needs as

you" +hey also orry about not being lo)ed" +hey also orry that humanity might nuke

itsel% out o% e8istence"
http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/buddahs/


14/24

+he other day I met :deo >essi and he talked about ho his %riend Elon 0usk is going

to send people to 0ars in our li%etime" +hat,s e8citing" :deo hangs out ith billionaires

all the time" ne o% the things that happens hen you hang out ith billionaires andpeople that send other people to space is that you begin to think big" =ike- %ucking /IG-

and easily" Be con%idently talks about sending people into space and coating buildings in

solar panel$goo and re)olutioniing email like it,s no big deal" /ut he,s human"

I% you atch anyone closely enough you ill see insecurities pop up" ?ou ill see amicro$second o% doubt or a harsh reply to something that hit too deeply" &e,re all

humans and e all need the same things"

.ome dude ga)e :deo an idea %or the relationship beteen .pace6 and +esla (Elon0usk,s to companies hich got him e8cited and he te8ted Elon immediately" +here,s a

chance that that idea speeds up our trip to 0ars" 7robably not- but maybe"

+he best thing you can do %or a superstar is treat them like a human" Not some idol like

e)erybody else"

still lo)e >onD but don,t hate you %or not sharing the lo)e

#to& 4udging &eo&$e so harsh$.
http://www.linkedin.com/in/adeoressihttp://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/3087_1080343564595_2106892_n/http://www.linkedin.com/in/adeoressi


15/24

It,s hard to make %riends ith someone hile you,re sitting there *udging them" It,s hard

to make ne %riends hen you sit making harsh assumptions %rom a%ar" 'I bet he,s a

liberal or 'Be,s going to hate the idea or '.he is going to think I,m an idiot or '.hehas a it- e or hate)er else you,re thinking be%ore approaching someone is not going

to help you make a %riend"

I used to be obsessed ith politics" &ill and I ould go to rallies and protests to set this

cray orld straight" It as to the point that I ould be disgusted ith people i% theyouldn,t con)ert their belie%s to mine" +hey,re ignorance as dragging our orld don!

It asn,t until I realied that I had less %riends (and certainly a less di)erse group

because o% my *udgements o% people based on their political belie%s that I %inally stopped"

:ctually- it as a%ter that" It as a%ter I had a %e o% my rock$solid perspecti)es on li%e

turned on their head" E8perience teaches you that you kno nothing" E)ery great sage

throughout history has pretty much told us- '?ou don,t kno shit" :nd e)ery one o% us

thinks e break the mold" Jntil one day e take a more honest look and admit that this

hole thing is much too large %or us to understand"

harhar!

+here are a multitude o% 'right ays to li)e in this orld and they are going to )ary %rom

person to person" I% somebody is a shitty person and hurts people then maybe theydeser)e tolerance" I% they ant to orship a eird statue or belie)e some eird book or

)ote in some eird ay then maybe you should ha)e a little tolerance"

?our harsh *udgements o% others are a aste o% your energy" +ry asking yoursel% hy that

thing bothers you so much" Is it really upsetting to ha)e to look at a %at person5 Is thatperson really dressed so o%%ensi)ely5 Is their poor business decision really a drag in your

li%e (and not a )aluable lesson o% hat not to do5

&hen you stop being mean to people in your head you ill notice you begin to ha)emore %riends" &hen you,re more accepting o% people you ha)e a hole lot more chances

at %riendship"
http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/judgemental1/


16/24


17/24

that,s not her- but she,s e)en cuter

0y e8 used to hate it because I ouldn,t te8t her e)ery day" I ould go a couple days *ust

orking and %orget I had a girl%riend" +hat,s no good"

+he same thing ith all my relationships" E)en ith @acebook- email- te8ting-

teleporation- and the poer o% speech I still don,t stay connected ith all the people I

ant to" I don,t see them e)ery day- ho can I remember to say hi5

&ell you can start ith the random acts o% connection I talked about abo)e"

/e like ohn- call hen you think about calling"

/e like my e8 anted me to be like te8t hen you thought o% te8ting"

>elationships %ade e8tremely 2uickly" 0ake a list o% ten relationships you don,t ant to%ade"

0aybe %i)e o% these are strictly personal and the other %i)e are personal and pro%essional"

0ake an e)ent on Google 1alendars that repeats e)ery 0onday" 7ut the list in the e)entand then contact all o% them that day"


18/24

say yes to in)ites

A""e&t invitations

I hate going to e)ents and meeting ne people" =ike I ill make up almost e)ery e8cuse

not to go"

0eeting ne people is such a drag" '&hat do you do5 +hen I ha)e to tell people that I

don,t e)en kno hat I do but I run this site .tartup/ros and ha)e they heard o% it5 +henthey ill sit there and make %un o% me and tell me about their boring business and the

hole time I,ll ha)e to pee" +hey,ll probably also stake me out as a %raud and laugh in

%ront o% the hole party or e)ent"

r at least that,s hat I assue ill happen e)ery time"

&hat actually happens is I make a ne %riend e)ery time" I meet a ne person and my

heart beats %ast and I blurt out the eird thing I,)e been thinking about all day and then

they say- '&o! I lo)e that- too- ha)e you heard thatD and e ha)e a magicalcon)ersation and go %rolicking together"

0y heuristic %or accepting in)itations is

+he orse you ant to stay in- you ha)e to go out"

E)ery time I put o%% a meeting ith a person I kno that I need to schedule it %or :.:7"

Ne8t time somebody in)ites you to something" Go" Jnless it,s a heroin party" +hose ill

shit on your li%e %aster than a seagull atching you buy a ne car" Go ith an open mind"Go ith the illingness to shake a hand- look somebody in the eyes- and say something

interesting"
http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/say-yes/


19/24

master inter)ieer charlie rose

Interview &eo&$e

ne o% the best ays to get to kno somebody is to inter)ie" +here is something about

sitting in %ront o% a mic together talking %or an audience that brings out stories and littledetails that don,t come out otherise" ?ou,ll see hat I mean hen e start releasing our

recorded podcasts"

?ou don,t need to ha)e a plat%orm to inter)ie people"


20/24

sometimes the best idea you can introduce is a kiss

Introdu"e ideas together 0the &eo&$e that have them1

&hen to people ant to do things and they mash up to %ill each other,s holes- you,)e

got a magic" ?ou no are making %riends by connecting %riends outside o% yoursel%"

: %riend needs a ebsite built %or some city that,s booming in 7anama" I ha)e a %riendthat lo)es building ebsites %or booming cities! I e$introduced the to" I hope the hug

and become good %riends" :nother guy paints to music and needs a )ideographer I

kno )ideographers ho lo)e painting! /:0! 0ore %riendships"

&hen you create a %riendship outside o% yoursel% it,s like multiplying your on%riendships" +hey ill be building their relationship and you,ll be in their mind"

&hen somebody says- 'I need to %ind somebody ho can do LLLL or is interested in

LLL- then go through your %riends and see i% any match up" :sk your %riends i% they ha)eany %riends that match up"

Nobody loses hen connections are made" It,s like this eb o% a thing that *ust keeps

groing and groing" :lmost like a netork"


21/24

Nassim +aleb- my mind$hero

/ar!e$$ Networking: 2reate an Antifragi$e Network of

Friends

'Kyle- you,)e told me nothingabout netorking" @uck you and your %riendship ideals- Ianted actual ad)ice!

?es- huh! I did too! I% you kno ho to make a good %riend and you understand that

e)ery human is in %act a human then you kno ho to meet anyone you ant"

/ut %ine- i% you don,t belie)e me that you,re netork depends on your ability to make

%riends" I% you don,t belie)e me that li%e is better hen you make more %riends (and thatthose %riends ill also bring you the most business success that,s okay" ne day you

ill" E)eryone burns out hen they netork %or netorking,s sake"

In the meantime- I,ll gi)e you some real- hardcore- 'practical netorking ad)ice"

:nybody ho has read me be%ore knos that I lo)e Nassim +aleb- especially his mostrecent book-Antifragile. In it he describes a strategy o% barbelling acti)ities" Bis barbell

%itness routine is this li%t e8tremely hea)y eights once a eak or so and then alk ;$

3 hours a eek" @or eating %east one day and %ast another" In)esting ha)e M o% assetsin the sa%est thing possible and 9 in the riskiest (highest potential reard possible" Be

creates these situations %or himsel% that gi)es his li%e )ariation"

:s humans e tend to try to straighten things out and %orce them into easily

digestible#de%inable e8planations that make a nice story" &e are scared o% uncertainty"/ut e)erything e8treme happens in uncertainty"

@or instance- a good %riend o% mine has been playing guitar gigs in the @lorida Keys %or a

%e years" >ecently :ndy Bil%iger (+ommy,s brother sa him at a gig and said- '?ou

got to get out o% @lorida- come to =: and I,ll do hat I can to make it happen %or you"/am! 1ompletely une8pected and no ohn is going to =":" Bere is him singing +he

/eatles, Bere 1omes +he .un
http://www.startupbros.com/networking-without-networking-antifragile-networking/nassim-taleb/


22/24

&hat did ohn do5 Be shoed up" Be kept shoing up (*ust like +he /eatles" :nd then

he connected ith a bunch o% people and one o% those people happened to be :ndy

Bil%iger"

?ou ha)e this kind o% serendipity in your li%e" =et,s add more"

&e are going to make a barbell out o% your %riend$making li%e"

#te& 6: 2onne"t as sha$$ow$ and wide$ as &ossi!$e.Go on @acebook and '=ike

e)erything" oin a bunch o% groups that interest you" Go to a bunch o% parties and meet

e)eryone there" .hake as many hands as you can"

B=< I+!


23/24

?J> NE+&>K I. O:.+ :N< .7:1E?!

Fina$$, +our Network Is A$read Massive And

%owerfu$

I learned about 3rd degree connections in /en 1asnocha,s (and >eid Bo%%man,s- I guess%antastic book $he Startup of You. Be points out that you,re connected to like a ba*illion

people i% you go by the third degree" +hat means your %riend,s %riend,s %riend" =inkedIn

demonstratesthe poer o% the third degree like this

.uppose you ha)e 4 %riends- and assume that each %riend has 3A other %riends in turn-and each o% those %riends o% %riends has 4A uni2ue %riends o% their on"If ou do the

math 089 ;< 8


24/24

introduces you to im she knos you through ohn" +his keeps the trust in the

connection"

Documents

The Definitive Non-Networking Guide to Make Friends