T3.29 Eng102 PeerReviewAnalysis MisplacedDanglingModifiers Parallelism

8/18/2019 T3.29 Eng102 PeerReviewAnalysis MisplacedDanglingModifiers Parallelism

1/43

Eng 102Peer Review Analysis

Misplaced & Dangling Modifiers

Parallelism


2/43

Peer Review – Read Sample Essay

• According to the thesis statement, which classical argument principlesare analyzed in the essay? Explain.

• Do all topic and concluding sentences align with thesis? Explain.

• Is the hook effective? Explain.

•

Is the conclusion effective? Explain.• Is MLA format followed? Explain.


3/43

or your essay…

• Write one question for your peer to answer


4/43

Exchange essays

• According to the thesis statement, which classical argument principlesare analyzed in the essay? Explain.

• Do all topic and concluding sentences align with thesis? Explain.

• Is the hook effective? Explain.

•

Does the introduction align with the conclusion? Explain.• Is MLA format followed? Explain.


5/43


• Reading a book, my cat crawled into my lap.


6/43


• The hunter crouched behind a tree waiting for a bear to come alongwith a bow and arrow.


7/43


At the beginning of the novel, Tom Joad comes across a turtle on hisway home from spending four years in prison.


8/43


• Modifiers are words that describe other words in a sentence

• Modifiers should be near the words they modify

Linda saw the White House flying over Washington, D.C.

Flying over Washington, D.C., Linda saw the White House.

Trying to eat a hot dog, my bike swerved off the path.

While I was trying to eat a hot dog, my bike swerved off the path.


9/43

Put limiting modifiers in front of the words they

modify

• Limiting modifiers = only, even, almost, nearly, just

• These should appear in front of a verb only if they modify the verb

At first, I couldn’t even touch my toes, much less grasp them.

• If they limit the meaning of some other word in the sentence, theyshould be placed in front of that word.

• The cathedral almost took six centuries to complete.

• The cathedral took almost six centuries to complete.


10/43


modify

• Limiting modifiers = only, even, almost, nearly, just

• These should appear in front of a verb only if they modify the verb

At first, I couldn’t even touch my toes, much less grasp them.

• If they limit the meaning of some other word in the sentence, they

should be placed in front of that word.• The cathedral almost took six centuries to complete. (modifies verb)

• The cathedral took almost six centuries to complete. (modifies time)


11/43


modify

• If you just interview chemistry majors, your picture of the studentbody’s response to the new grading policies will be incomplete.

• If you interview just chemistry majors, your picture of the studentbody’s response to the new grading policies will be incomplete.

• If you interview just chemistry majors, your picture of the studentbody’s response to the new grading policies will be incomplete.


12/43

Place phrases and clauses so that readers can see at a

glance what they modify

• The soccer player returned to the clinic where he had undergoneemergency surgery in 2004 in a limousine sent by Adidas.

• He had surgery in a limousine???

• Traveling in a limousine sent by Adidas, the soccer player returned tothe clinic where he had undergone emergency surgery in 2004


13/43



• There are many pictures of comedians who have performed at Gavin’son the walls.

• The comedians are performing on the walls?

• On the walls are many pictures of comedians who have performed atGavin’s.

• The robber was described as a six-foot-tall man with a heavy mustacheweighing 170 pounds.

• That’s a heavy mustache!!!

• The robber was described as a 170-pound, six-foot-tall man with a

heavy mustache.


14/43



• A squinting modifier leads to ambiguity

• The exchange students we met for coffee occasionally questioned usabout our latest slang.

• Did they meet occasionally? Or did the questioning happenoccasionally?

• The exchange students we occasionally met for coffee questioned usabout our latest slang.

• The exchange students we met for coffee questioned us occasionallyabout our latest slang.


15/43

Move awkwardly placed modifiers

• A sentence should flow from subject to verb to object without lengthydetours along with way

• Hong Kong, after more than 150 years of British rule, was transferredback to Chinese control in 1997.

• After more than 150 years of British rule, Hong Kong was transferredback to Chinese control in 1997.

• After more than 150 years of British rule, Hong Kong was transferredback to Chinese control in 1997.


16/43

Avoid awkward split infinitives

• Infinitive = to plus base form of a verb (to think)

• Split infinitive = modifier between to and verb (to carefully balance, tocompletely understand)

• When a long word or phrase appears between parts of the infinitive,result is usually awkward

• If possible, the patient should try to avoid going up and down stairs.

• The patient should try to if possible avoid going up and down stairs.

• If possible, the patient should try to avoid going up and down stairs.


17/43

Dangling Modifiers

•

Modifier fails to refer logically to any word in the sentence• Understanding the need to create checks and balances on power, the

Constitution divided the government into three branches.

• The document understood the need for checks and balances?

• Understanding the need to create checks and balances on power, the

framers of the Constitution divided the government into threebranches.


18/43

Exercise 12 – 1 pg. 130

1. The flood nearly displaced half of the city’s residents, who packed into

several overcrowded shelters.

The flood displaced nearly half…

2. Most lions at night hunt for medium-size prey, such as zebra.

Most lions hunt at night…

3. Several recent studies have encouraged heart patients to more carefullywatch their cholesterol levels.

…patients to watch their cholesterol levels more carefully.


19/43

Exercise 12 – 1 pg. 130

4. The garden’s centerpiece is a huge sculpture that was carved by three

women called Walking in Place.

The garden’s centerpiece is a huge sculpture called Walking in Place thatwas carved by three women.

5. The old Marlboro ads depicted a man on a horse smoking a cigarette.

The old Marlboro ads depicted a man smoking a cigarette on a horse.


20/43

Exercise 12-2

1. While working as a ranger in Everglades National Park,

a Florida panther crossed the road in front of my truckone night.

While I was working as a ranger in Everglades NationalPark, a Florida panther crossed the road in front of my

truck one night.


21/43

Exercise 12-2

2. By following the new recycling procedure, the city’s

landfill costs will be reduced significantly.If residents follow the new recycling procedure, the city’s

landfill costs will be reduced significantly.


22/43

Exercise 12-2

3. Serving as president of the missionary circle, one of

Sophia’s duties is to raise money for the church.

Serving as president of the missionary circle, Sophia isresponsible for raising money for the church.

4. After buying an album by Ali Farka Toure, the rich androlling rhythms of Malian music made more sense toSilas.

After buying an album by Ali Farka Toure, Silasunderstood the rich and rolling rhythms of Malianmusic.


23/43

Exercise 12-2

5. Opening the window to let out a huge bumblebee, the

car swerved into an oncoming truck.When the driver opened the window to let out a huge

bumblebee, the car swerved into an oncoming truck.


24/43

How can this sentence be fixed?

• Reading a book, my cat crawled into my lap.

While I was reading a book, my cat crawled into

my lap.


25/43


• The hunter crouched behind a tree waiting for a bear to come alongwith a bow and arrow.

The hunter with a bow and arrow crouched behind a

tree waiting for a bear to come along in the woods.


26/43


At the beginning of the novel, Tom Joad comes across a turtle on his way

home from spending four years in prison.

At the beginning of the novel, Tom Joad, on his

way home from spending four years in prison,

comes across a turtle.


27/43

Where vs. When

April the first is known as All Fools’ Day ______ people play practical jokeson each other.

The pound _____ Bella found me is in Kittanning.


28/43

Which Vs. That

Gems _____ sparkle often elicit forgiveness.

Diamonds, _____ are expensive, often elicit forgiveness.

There was an earthquake in China, _____ is bad.


29/43

Which Vs. That

Gems _____ sparkle often elicit forgiveness.

Restrictive Clause—That

A restrictive clause is just part of a sentence that you can't get rid ofbecause it specifically restricts some other part of the sentence.

Here's an example: The words that sparkle restrict the kind of gemsyou're talking about. Without them, the meaning of the sentence wouldchange. Without them, you'd be saying that all gems elicit forgiveness,not just the gems that sparkle. (And note that you don't need commas

around the words that sparkle.)


30/43

Which Vs. That

Diamonds, _____ are expensive, often elicit forgiveness.

There was an earthquake in China, _____ is bad.

Nonrestrictive Clause—Which

A nonrestrictive clause is something that can be left off withoutchanging the meaning of the sentence. You can think of a nonrestrictiveclause as simply additional information.

Explanation: Diamonds are always expensive, so leaving out the wordswhich are expensive doesn't change the meaning of the sentence. (Alsonote that the phrase is surrounded by commas. Nonrestrictive clausesare usually surrounded by, or preceded by, commas.)


31/43

On vs. About

• On = placement

• About = concerning, with regard to

I placed the pencil ___ the desk.I attended a lecture ____ cell technology.

The author talks ____ politics.


32/43

Grammar Portfolio

• Create and illustrate 5 misplaced or dangling modifiers.


33/43

ParallelismEng 102 BC


34/43

What is Parallelism?

Using the same pattern of words to show that two or more ideashave the same importance

• Patterns fall into four areas:

• Words and phrases

• Forms

• Clauses

• Lists


35/43

Parallelism – Words Phrases

Do not mix patterns with the –ing form (gerund) of words:

The construction manager established a protocol that includes reviewingplans every morning, asking questions at stated intervals, and thesummarization of work at the end of the day.

The construction manager established a protocol that includes reviewingplans every morning, asking questions at stated intervals, and summarizingwork at the end of the day.


36/43


Do not mix patterns of infinitive phrases.

A daily protocol was established to review plans, field questions, andsummarize work.

A daily protocol was established to review plans, to field questions, and tosummarize work.


37/43


Balance parallel ideas presented as pairs

Either…or neither…nor

not only…but also both…and whether…or

The clerk told me either to change my flight or take thetrain.

The clerk told me either to change my flight or to takethe train.

Thomas Edison was not only a prolific inventor but alsowas a successful entrepreneur.

Omit was


38/43

Parallelism – Forms

Do not mix forms.

The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately,and in a detailed manner.

The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately,and thoroughly.


39/43

Parallelism – Clauses

A parallel structure that begins with clauses must continue using clauses.

The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, that theyshould not eat too much, and to do some warm-up exercises before thegame.

The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, that theyshould not eat too much, and that they should do some warm-up exercisesbefore he game.


40/43

Parallelism – Clauses

Repeat function words to clarify parallels

• By, to, that, because

Our study revealed that left-handed students were more likely to havetrouble with classroom desks and rearranging desks for exam periods wasuseful.

Our study revealed that left-handed students were more likely to havetrouble with classroom desks and that rearranging desks for exam periodswas useful.


41/43

Parallelism – Lists

Be sure to keep al the elements in a list in the same form.

The dictionary can be used for these purposes: to find word meanings,pronunciations, correct spellings, and looking up irregular verbs.

The dictionary can be used for these purposes: to find word meanings,pronunciations, correct spellings, and irregular verbs.


42/43

Grammar Portfolio

Create a brochure about parallelism. Include an unbalanced exampleof each parallel rule/category and its correction (there are 4).


43/43

No class Thursday 3/31

•

Must read pages 361-402 and post to the discussion board onBlackBoard by 8AM Sunday.

For Tuesday…

•

Analysis final copy due (remember to submit all writing processstages)

• Critique mulligans due

• Read Chapter 5 about Synthesis Writing

Documents

T3.29 Eng102 PeerReviewAnalysis MisplacedDanglingModifiers Parallelism