SMARTER NETWORKING MANIFESTO - Partnering …...Smarter Networking To be strategic, systematic, smarter networkers, we need to think differently and we need to act differently. We

SMARTER NETWORKING • MANIFESTO •


INTRODUCTION

We’re thinking about networking all wrong. Most of us buy into the belief that networking requires attendance at large-scale events where we exchange cards with people we don’t know in hopes of finding a new job, landing a big deal, or accessing power circles. We hear exhortations to “press the flesh” at the “meet and greets” where we’ll “work the room.” We secretly fear that these activities border on sleazy. Some of us are so uncomfortable that we avoid networking events altogether.

Luckily, new research into how human networks actually operate gives us a different way of thinking. We now know much more about the rules and patterns that govern networks and networking. We can use these findings to help us network more effectively and pleasurably. At the very heart of our learning is this important rule: nurturing your community trumps working the room.

“Connect with just three people. Then you can go home.”

“What do I do with all these business cards?”

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“I hate networking.” “Who here can help me get a job?”


Using surveys and sophisticated software tools, network analysts map organization networks. The resulting maps show that, indeed, we are all networked. Every one of us already has a community consisting of the relationships that we use every day in order to get things done, solve problems, make decisions, and find resources.

The leads us to the first shift: we don’t network because we lack connections. We network to enrich, enhance, and increase our connections.

From the belief that we’re notnetworked to

Recognizing therichness of ourexisting networks.

Shift #1

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From measuring success by thenumber of business cards collected to

Cultivating real relationships. When network analysts map networks, particular kinds of relationships count more than others. These relationships are active, reciprocal, and personalized. In contrast, the connections we make at large-scale, card-distributing events are usually one-time interactions. Over time, they can develop into something more if we invest time and energy.

Relationships need to be reciprocal. Sending status notices to contacts online doesn’t count—unless they respond. Then we have a reciprocal relationship.

Finally, the connection should be personalized. We need to know something about each other beyond what a stranger could notice on the street. Altogether, these three qualities (active, reciprocal, and personalized) differentiate an encounter from a relationship.

This leads to our second shift in thinking about networks: it’s no longer a numbers game in which we amass as many cards as possible. Instead, we develop active, reciprocal, personal relationships.

Shift #2


From adding weak connections we can’t count on to

Caring for our village. Many believe that it’s important to have as many contacts as possible. They work on the assumption that if they know more people, they’ll be more successful. The science of networks shows us that this thinking couldn’t be more wrong. It’s the village that makes the difference, not the anonymous mass of people who we’ve met once. But it’s also wrong because of the constraints of our brains.

Evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar discovered that there is a relationship between the size of the mammalian neocortex and the average number of relationships that species can sustain. For humans, the number turns out to be about 150. In other words, we can maintain coherent

relationships with around 150 individuals. Of course, some of us are extraordinarily gifted and can go beyond the 150. But for most of us, 150 is our sweet spot. That means that we need to focus while networking. Rather than attempt to amass thousands of connections, our job is to enrich and sustain the 150 in our community. Our ongoing task is to seek out the gaps in our networks and fill them, reconnect with people who are drifting away, and let relationships go when we’re no longer serving each other well.

This, then, is the third shift: We nuture our community, ins-tead of adding numerous weak connections that we can’t count on.

Shift #3

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From haphazard, fingers-crossed approaches to

Nurturing strategic relationships. The research tells us that weak ties—those with people we don’t know well—are invaluable for one activity: reaching into different worlds. Normally, we tend to create networks that consist of people like us (these networks are called homophilic by researchers). These connections are helpful for much of what we need to accomplish. However, if we want to reach a new industry, company, or function, our weak ties can open the doors for us. This leads to a conundrum: how can we anticipate which weak ties we’ll need and keep those connections alive? Again, the science helps us answer the question.

Mathematical studies of the properties of networks show

that five to fifteen percent of the people within any network have disproportionate influence over the whole. Called Critical Connectors, these people have the power to open doors, link us to the resources we need, and help us navigate new worlds. They also make our lives easier. If we’re trying to gain entry into an organization of one hundred people, it’s easier to seek out influential Critical Connectors than reach out randomly hoping to find willing gatekeepers. The Critical Connectors are the fourth shift: Rather than using a haphazard, fingers-crossed networking approach, we nurture relationships with Critical Connectors.

Shift #4

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From obsessing about how to connect with perceived heavy hitters to

Seeking out people we trustand respect regardless of their level.There’s more good news. Science shows us that we don’t need to connect with people we don’t respect or trust. Here’s why: any network that’s larger than about twenty people will have more than one Critical Connector. Chances are that if we don’t like or respect one, we’ll like or respect another.

More importantly, we know that relationships are based on trust. If we don’t trust a person—and they don’t trust us—that relationship will never yield the desired benefits. Think about it: Why would we do a favor to someone we dislike when we could help someone we deem worthy? In organizations, we find that people who are not trustworthy generally do not hold positions of influence. In fact, key influencers in networks are often unexpected. Executives sometimes hold these positions—but not always. More often than not, Critical Connectors are found across organizational levels and positions.

This leads to our fifth shift: Let go of cultivating connections with perceived heavy hitters and instead seek out people we respect, regardless of their organizational level. Of course, some of these connections might be “power players,” but they’re also people we trust.

Shift #5

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From staying within our comfort zone to

Reaching out to people who are different.As we develop our communities, some of us fall into the trap of building relationships only with people who we experience as comfortable, non-threatening, and safe. Research shows us that high performers avoid this trap. Instead, they connect with people who are different from them in specific ways. They seek out people up and down the organizational hierarchy. They connect with people across geographical locations. They nurture relationships

with people who give them energy, even if there’s no other immediate benefit to the relationship. To mimic the practi-ces of high performers, we need to push ourselves slightly beyond our comfort levels.

Our sixth shift: Reach out to people who are different and, perhaps, make us a little uncomfortable, but whom we trust and respect.

Shift #6


From envisioning our contacts as an undiffe-rentiated mass to

Building network strength in each of four areas. The final shift is in our thinking about our network as a whole. Typically, people talk about their network as a ho-mogenous entity. We know from scientific research that multiple, overlapping networks form in organizations to serve different purposes. In other words, we don’t have just one network, we have many, each of which we activate in order to accomplish different goals. We need at least four specific networks:

• An operational network that includes peoplewho can help us complete our daily work;

• A development network populated bypeople who support our learning and growth;

• A strategic network comprised of people whocan help us imagine and achieve our visionfor the future;

• A life network consisting of people who wesimply like, who our intuitions tell us areimportant, and who energize us.

Everyone needs all four of these networks. However, many people lack strength in one or more of these networks. Usually, the development and strategic areas are weak because we get absorbed in our routine and neglect our learning goals and our dreams for the future.

The final shift is this: Abandon the idea of an undifferen-tiated mass of contacts and, instead, make sure that our community includes operational, development, strategic, and life contacts.

Shift #7

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Smarter NetworkingTo be strategic, systematic, smarter networkers, we need to think differently and we need to act differently. We need to abandon the compulsion to attend events

that don’t engage us. We need to honor our constraints, whether they’re our busy lives, our introverted personalities, or our aversion to networking. We need to draw on intelligence about networks and make seven shifts in order to ensure our time

and energy produce real results.


The Seven Shifts at a Glance

Shift #1: From the belief that we’re not networkedto recognizing the richness of our existing networks.

Shift #2: From measuring success by the number of business cards collected to cultivating real relationships.

Shift #3: From adding weak connections we can’t counton to caring for our village.

Shift #4: From haphazard, fingers-crossed approachesto nurturing strategic relationships.

Shift #5: From obsessing about how to connect withperceived heavy hitters to seeking out people we trust and respect regardless of their level.

Shift #6: From staying within our comfort zone to reaching out to people who are different.

Shift #7: From envisioning our contacts as an undifferentiated mass to building network strength in each of four areas.

Nurturing your community beats working the room.

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References

For More Information

Shift 1: Uzzi, B., & Dunlap, S. (December 2005). “How to Build Your Network.” Harvard Business Review.

Shift 2: Sutcliffe, A., Dunbar, R., Binder, J., & Arrow, H. (2012). “Relationships and the Social Brain: Integrating Psychological and Evolutionary Perspectives.” British

Journal of Psychology, 103: 149-168.

Shift 3: Dunbar, R. (2010). How Many Friends Does One Person Need? Dunbar’s Number and Other Evolutionary Quirks. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.

Shift 4: Stephenson, K. (2005). “Trafficking in Trust: The Art and Science ofHuman Knowledge Networks.” In Enlightened Power: How Women are Transfor-

ming the Practice of Leadership, by Coughlin, Wingard & Hollihan.

Shift 5: Kleiner, A. (2003). “Karen Stephenson’s Quantum Theory of Trust.”strategy + business: 29.

Shift 6: Cross, R., & Thomas, R. J. (2011). “Managing Yourself: A Smarter Way to Network.” Harvard Business Review.

Shift 7: Ibarra, H. & Hunter, M. (January 2007). “How Leaders Create and Use Networks.” Harvard Business Review.

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Partnering Resources helps individuals, teams, and organizations thrive in our networked world.

http://partneringresources.comCambridge, Massachusetts USA

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SMARTER NETWORKING MANIFESTO - Partnering …...Smarter Networking To be strategic, systematic, smarter networkers, we need to think differently and we need to act differently. We