SETTING AND KNOWING

YOUR BOUNDARIES

Educational Assistants

Professional Development Day

Chinook’s Edge School Division No. 73

January 31, 2012

Joanne Crook

FSW Supervisor

OBJECTIVES

Introduction & setting the stage

Definition of Boundaries

Identifying your Boundaries

Boundary Warning Signs

Characteristics of Healthy Boundaries

Boundary Demonstration

Discussion

WHAT ARE BOUNDARIES?

Boundaries are like a border or a limit between others and

ourselves

They are an invisible like you draw to separate yourself from other

people or other groups of people

A boundary is the ability to know where you end and where

another person begins. When you know where you end and others

begin, you can then closely engage with others because you won’t

feel overwhelmed or unprotected

WHERE DO OUR BOUNDARIES COME FROM?

Early experiences and on-going experiences

Who you trust

What you do/ don’t do well

What makes people laugh at you/with you

What you need to do to get attention

What you do to get your needs met

WHY DO WE NEED BOUNDARIES?

Define your identity

Protect you from “harm”

Speak for you

Bring order to your life

Attract respectful relationships

Protect you from the control of others

To model for others

TYPES OF BOUNDARIES

1. Physical – personal space; most often violated by touching

2. Emotional – self-esteem and emotional state; most often violated by teasing, joking or use of humor

3. Mental – person’s ability to learn and process; most often violated by either talking down or over the client’s head

4. Personal Resources – allocation of personal resources; most often violated by inappropriate requests or an inability to say “NO”

WHEN DO WE NEED BOUNDARIES?

In all of our relationships

With family and friends

At home

At work

In the community

BOUNDARIES AT WORK

Professional boundaries are important because they define the

limits and responsibilities of the people with whom you interact

in the workplace.

When workplace boundaries are clearly defined, the

organization works more efficiently and task performance is

more accountable.

When everyone in an organization is made aware who is

responsible for what, healthier workplace environments are

created.

SURVEY

Personal Boundaries Survey

ADDITIONAL NEED FOR BOUNDARIES IN

TODAY’S WORLD

Fewer societal boundaries in place

Growing population

Increasing neediness

Global society

SIGNS OF UNHEALTHY OR ABSENT BOUNDARIES

Tells all to everyone

Too friendly, too quickly

Allows others to take advantage of them (family friends, coworkers, boss)

Self-abuse (food, drugs, alcohol, cutting)

Ultimate goal is to please others

Hey My Wicked Awesome Friends

Boundaries video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s

3i2rsgGBmg

SIGNS OF UNHEALTHY OR ABSENT

BOUNDARIES IN PROFESSIONALS

Believes they can “save” the person or family

Believes that the system is wrong or damaged; only “they” understand

If coworkers don’t agree, it’s because they don’t understand

Takes sides in disputes

Denying that a boundary has been crossed

BOUNDARY WARNING SIGNS

Frequently thinking of students when away from work

Gives home phone number to students

Sharing personal information with students

Feeling responsible for limited/quick progress

Selective reporting of client/family behaviors

CHARACTERISTICS OF HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

You are aware of your boundaries

Clear

Firm

Flexible

• Ask directly for what you want

• Nurture yourself and your integrity

• Be objective about other’s behavior toward you – without getting caught in their drama

• Maintain a bottom line

• Change the focus of trust from others to yourself

HOW TO CREATE STRONG BOUNDARIES

MAINTAINING BOUNDARIES

Be direct (but polite and respectful)

Listen to yourself

Be objective about others’ behavior toward you

Maintain a bottom line

Change the focus from others to yourself

MAINTAINING YOUR BOUNDARIES AT WORK

• Stand Up For Yourself!

• Be Honest… No Little White Lies

• Stop the Gossip!

POTENTIAL BOUNDARY QUESTIONS

Ask yourself:

Is this in the student’s best interest?

How would this interaction be viewed by the student’s family?

Would I do this for all of my students?

Am I comfortable in documenting this decision/behavior in the student’s file?

SETTING YOUR BOUNDARIES AT WORK

Know your school’s standards

Set clear limits

Agreement and negotiation rather than compliance

Be aware of when a boundary is required

Only set boundaries you are ready to enforce

HELPING OTHERS WITH BOUNDARIES

Respect the boundaries others may have set for themselves

Talk about past successes when boundaries have been respected

Talk about current challenges and what might work to manage these challenges

Never under-estimate the power of modeling!

WHEN BOUNDARIES ARE CROSSED OR

VIOLATED

Consequences for the professional

Consequences for the student

CAN BOUNDARIES BE A BAD THING?

Just as boundaries can keep out “harm”, they can also keep out

“good” if overused or if they are too rigid

“Walls”

BOUNDARIES ROPE EXERCISE

EVALUATIONS

Thank you for your valuable time and attention!