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Page | 1 SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY 2021 Student Leadership Speeches Year 12 Graduation Police Presentation All my own work Issue – Term 3, Week 8 September 2020

SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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Page 1: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY

2021 Student Leadership Speeches

Year 12 Graduation

Police Presentation

All my own work

Issue – Term 3, Week 8

September 2020

Page 2: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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PARENT COMMUNICATION

SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY

Teachers communicate their appreciation for what their students do by celebrating their successes and constantly encouraging them. This helps students feel recognized and validated. The Senior School Weekly is one example of our parent communication options.

The publication keeps you informed about school programs including special notices. Information to parents related to all events and programs are included in the Senior School

Weekly in advance of any presentation.

Page 17 - tables school contact information, including the administration desk, class teachers and executives.

PARENT EMAILS

Email is a great way for teachers and parents to communicate. Our records show that we have contacted every parent that did not have an email address on file, and this has now being added. Furthermore, our conversations with parents indicate that most parents like

receiving information via email. Please contact the College and inform the administration staff of any changes.

WHATSAPP BROADCAST

Earlier this year we called every parent from

each grade that was not visible on our WhatsApp broadcast. We have kept up the ongoing information letters to parents through

the broadcast. Communication is forthcoming and regular. We expect that families will spend

time reading the information received. Many times, we receive feedback of parents insisting they were ‘not informed’. We assure all parents

that communication is transparent and timely and should you feel you are not aware of

programs, events, or new initiatives, we encourage you to review the communication received and contact the senior administration desk should you have further enquiries.

Save the College mobile number 0430 842 666 and contact the administration desk to ensure you are included in the broadcast.

Page 3: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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PARENT PORTAL

Good communication between parents and teachers has many benefits. When parents and teachers share information, children learn more and parents and teachers feel more

supported. Good communication can help create positive feelings between teachers and parents. The Sentral parent portal allows you to monitor your child’s progress in relation

to wellbeing, positive and negative school incidents. Teacher’s record daily information in the wellbeing section so that parents have information about their child at their fingertips.

Earlier this year we called every parent and sent written communication requesting families update their contact details. We then communicated, multiple times, instructions on how to access the parent portal. Through the parent portal you may read about your child’s daily progress, negative / positive incidents, academic report and timetable. Login available via

https://bellfield.sentral.com.au/portal

COLLEGE FACEBOOK

Parents and the wider community may read about initiatives across campus including school events

through the college Facebook. This is currently a public site and does not require a Facebook login.

https://www.facebook.com/bellfieldc

CANVAS - Learning Management System

We recently launched CANVAS as the College learning management system replacing Google classroom. This means that parents have direct access to their child’s learning modules and homework resources. You may access CANVAS through Sentral Parent Portal. Most

importantly, students have direct access to their class teachers through CANVAS class discussions, announcements, and email. Students access their CANVAS account by logging into GMAIL and clicking on the ‘dot squares’ located to the right, near settings.

CANVAS CAREERS

CAREERS homepage was set up for students and parents to read about the latest careers information, trade shows, Business College events, university tours / open days, UAC guide, early offers and more. Appointments may be made online to meet with Mr Hussein – Careers

Advisor.

CANVAS COUNSELLING

Counselling homepage is accessible to students where they can read about important information regarding wellbeing, anxiety coping strategies, healthy habits, benefits of

physical activity, study routines, exam techniques and more. This is also a platform where parents may have information to support open conversations about contemporary topics.

PARENT WEBINARS

Webinars are hosted by the Senior School Executive team; these are an excellent opportunity for families to be involved in their child’s education. This year we hosted the webinars for stage 5 and stage 6 electives. There are more opportunities for parent involvement for year 7

orientation, new enrolments and end of year campaigns.

Page 4: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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YEAR 7 ORIENTATION PROGRAMS

The 2020 program will be hosted online through several virtual options. Over the coming weeks families will receive their orientation pack, invitations to the webinars and WhatsApp

broadcasts.

YEAR 6 TRANSITION TO HIGH SCHOOL

Term 3 transition plans commence in week 9 and this includes, Student Representative

Council assemblies, election polls, and Visual Arts and Science open days on campus with the STEM team. Year group watts app broadcasts receive the detailed outline for each program.

The beginning of secondary school evokes a variety of emotions, behaviours and concerns for students and their parents or caregivers. It can also provide students with

an opportunity for a fresh start as they are introduced to the culture and expectations of a very different school environment. At Bellfield College we aim to support students with

their transition to secondary school on many levels. The following information is an outline regarding the different levels of student support.

VAPING and Social Media

In week 6 the college posted parent communication after being made aware of media reports about VAPING effecting school children worldwide. As per the week 6 Senior School Weekly, we ask families to continue open conversations at home with

their children. The links we provided in the week 6 weekly as a matter of information are also accessed below.

School Education https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPAvUyhBVPM

RWJ Barnabas Health (presented by the Director of Thoracic Surgery) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL2-EsjfiAU

Talk Show - NBC https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3r6DWkmNpoM

Children’s Hospital Colorado https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXk43Ci5hsY

We have also shared information about social media apps including snap chat and support services. The fact sheets were shared with students during week 7 lessons. We encourage

families to continue these conversations about social media and security in the home.

The RISING VAPING CULTURE CAMPAIGN focused on healthy lifestyles, good habits, statistics, real life case studies and media reports.

As part of the PDHPE program we will continue education and awareness about social media. The program is delivered in partnership with the senior school team and the local Police schools community program. Our School Police liaison officer will be on campus from week 9

and will present aspects of the program as outlined below.

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Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13)

Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology, how to keep themselves safe online and the importance of being respectful, along with

questioning whether the information found online is reliable. There will be conversations around building skills to deal with challenges online, not giving into peer pressure, making

good decisions online and learning from mistakes.

This session will establish how to protect personal information, giving consideration to what photos, videos and content is being shared online along with how social media can impact

their futures. Students will learn about cyberbullying and what they can do to minimise bullying, as well as maintaining respectful relationships, sending images and about image-based abuse. The teacher will also talk about meeting people online and staying safe, as well

as how to get help and what support services are available.

Years 9 – 10 (ages 14 – 15)

The session will look at the protection of personal information, the importance of password strength, what information is being released when signing up to apps, games and social

media. The session will include an in depth look at sharing information, with a concentration on sharing videos, photos and content online and how these components can impact on

future employment.

There will be discussions around cyberbullying, the effects of this and legislation. As well as conversations about respectful relationships, meeting people online, sharing images and

image-based abuse, this session also covers skills to build resilience and what support services are available to help students.

Parents can visit the "think you know" website, https://www.thinkuknow.org.au/resources

Page 6: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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Dearest students and families of Year 12, 2020

Peace and Blessings be upon you

I will be speaking to the Year 12 students on Monday and will give each student a letter with suggestions for making the most of the time that remains before the HSC. The letter will also outline the timetable for the coming weeks, plans for end-of-schooling celebrations, and

expectations of the College for the students’ conduct. A copy of the graduation week with an outline of the graduation program will be attached to the student letter and posted on the Parent Whatsapp broadcast.

We will live stream our special online event from the Library Theatre to celebrate and recognise the achievements of our graduating class of 2020. Details as outlined in the program.

Visit the Graduation 2020 Bellfield College Facebook to view special moments of the event and special messages from the Senior School team. Students and families may order a copy of the recording through the College senior administration office after the event.

I have highlighted points provided by the AIS from meetings held with Dr Kerry Chant (Chief Health Officer, NSW Ministry of Health) and Dr Michelle Cretikos (Director, Clinical Safety and Quality, NSW Ministry of Health)

• At this stage advice would be that the current direction from Health, ‘to cease altogether school-related social activities (e.g. formals, dinners or dances, graduation ceremonies or

parent engagement functions)’ is still to be observed.

• We understand that a normal assembly where Year 12 students can graduate in the presence of their teachers under appropriate hygiene conditions is permitted. A number of

schools are doing this and live streaming to parents and the rest of the school.

• Non-essential adults are still not permitted on school grounds or at school events. This includes parents and carers except for face-to-face parent/teacher meetings that are essential (e.g. to discuss disciplinary or other welfare matters).

The students understand that the program of activities in the last week of term completely takes the place of any silliness and disrespect that in some places accompanies the end of schooling. There will be various celebrations and special activities organised throughout that final week and I am confident your child will finish their schooling encouraged by the good will around them and

the send-off they receive. We all want the last days here at Bellfield College for these young students to be most memorable and enjoyable. I am relying on the students to set a faultless example for future years.

YEAR 12 FORMAL

We are very much hoping to plan for a Year 12 formal. There is still considerable uncertainty regarding what we can plan for. Our year 12 group is deserving of a formal and we understand they have been through so much this year. We sincerely hope to be able to provide the traditional event, while also being mindful of the safety of our school community.

In order to do the best, we can for Year 12 we will be monitoring closely advice from the Department of Education, The Australian Independent Schools Association and the NSW Government Health Authorities.

Page 7: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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It has been a wonderful term for year 7 as they navigate

through the understanding of Chemistry in their everyday life.

We have delved into Mixtures and separation techniques. The

aim of this curriculum program is to develop Year 7 students’

understanding of the nature and practice of chemistry and its

applications in daily life contexts as well as its implications for

society and the environment.

Students have been relating a range of

techniques used to separate mixtures

and their underlying principles such

as filtration, decantation,

evaporation, crystallisation,

chromatography and distillation. They

have also had the opportunity to

demonstrate these techniques through

first-hand investigations.

By the end of this unit students will be

experts on determining how substances

and materials can be separated in our

everyday lives.

End of Year 12 course is fast approaching.

Students are excited to finish the Biology

course and start focusing on their HSC

exam preparations. This week in Biology,

students learnt to explain a range of causes

of disorders by investigating parts and

functions of the Nervous system.

Students were astonished to explore complex sensory organs that comprise the

nervous system.

They identified separate components of the

system and described structure and

function of each part.

Year 12’s also had the opportunity to

practically dissect animal organs for gaining

explicit understanding of structure and

function of different organs that coordinate

together for proper functioning of a human

body.

Page 8: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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The Elective Visual Arts Students are enjoying learning the intaglio printing

process in preparation for their Surrealist Assessment task.

Students have been incorporating Surrealist techniques into their drawing concepts, which are then etched into a

dry point intaglio plate, to be pressed in the College 's brand new printing

press! Exciting times in the Visual Arts room!

Artwork by Mariam Hodroj

Artwork by Shahaad Alsaad

Artwork by Safa Alhirz

Artwork by Mohammed Kobeissi

Page 9: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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MATHEMATICS AT BELLFIELD COLLEGE

Compression Mathematics:

Students in compressions have all devised a study plan in class and at home. They are working tirelessly to make sure they can do the best they can in HSC Mathematics. They are currently working on every outcome from the syllabus and their focus is now

completing as many HSC past papers as possible.

Year 8 Mathematics Year 8 Mathematics have just completed a

work on colllecting data on what kind of cars adults and teenagers drive. Students then

had to analyse their data and come up with a conclusion. Students were very interested about this research task and they were

continuously seeking help from their teachers to improve their task. Overall, the

majority of students enjoyed this task and gained a better understaning of this topic.

Year 7 Mathematics Year 7 studnets have just completed an

assessment task on collecting data and presenting it in a poster format. Their work

looks great and students were able to show a deeper understanding of the topic. Students at Bellfield College are building an

excellent foundation in Mathematics.

Year 10 Mathematics

Students in year 10 are working on writing a comic book that involves trigonometry. Students have come up with some great ideas and working hard to complete this task in the most creative way whilst integrating a story line and how they can make it relevant to

Trigonometry.

Page 10: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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MATHEMATICS

AT

BELLFIELD COLLEGE

The Year 8 students for the past few weeks have

transformed themselves from students to

Statistical Investigators for the Multinational companies, RMS, State

Government and some even were brave to conduct

investigative research for the Federal Government!

What did our Year 8 students do to secure

such high-profile roles you might be asking?

Well, the answer is that they were completing their Assessment

Task........sorry for making you think they

were working for multinational companies and government

agencies!

On a serious note, our students put on their thinking hats to complete a research assessment

that they needed to submit in the form of a report.

During Term 3, Year 8 were taught how to communicate and connect mathematical ideas

using appropriate terminology, diagrams and symbols in the

mathematical topic known as Single Variable Data Analysis.

Students were expected to apply appropriate mathematical techniques to

solve problems and provide answers.

Students were required to articulate an investigative question involving vehicles

driven by Adults and Teenagers, interview the

participants, collect data, present the data in form of

Dot Plot graph.

They were then required to analyse the data and explain mathematical

relationships using reasoning. For those who

are not maths savvy, our Year 8 students were investigative scientists

who used statistics they learned in Term 3 to draw

conclusions from the data they collected.

Below with pictures of reports handed in by Zahra Taimori. See some of the examples provided by the students below.

Well done Year 8!

Page 11: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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Bismillah Al Rahman Al Rahim: “Settle your people in Egypt in houses

and make your houses [facing the] qiblah and establish prayer and give

good tidings to the believers." Welcome to the world of History and

Ancient Egypt! Year 7 has been busy at work exploring the differences of primary

and secondary sources, their significance, and more importantly how to accurately read and understand dates in Historical

discourse.

Year 7 has been understanding the

importance of chronology, looking at the

differences between BC, AD and CE and

how their application can impact how we

view History. In the activity below,

students were asked to place certain dates

in the correct order to ensure Historical

accuracy and have been exploring how this

has influenced the structure of History in

Ancient Egypt.

Ms Bazzi

Page 12: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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Art Club

Page 13: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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PARENT PORTAL

Bellfield’s Student portal is a one-stop shop for everything. Students can access the portal using their school logon, which gives them access to their timetable, assessment marks, attendance history and reports from anywhere at any time.

In addition, the parent portal provides parents with 24/7 access to their child’s data. Parents can log in to access their child’s reports, attendance and welfare details as well as updating

family contact details. Furthermore, if you are a parent and want to see your child’s records, contact the college and you will be given an access code for the parent portal, which you will use to access your child’s data

You can access the portal here:

https://bellfield.sentral.com.au/portal

Page 14: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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We Look Forward to Welcoming You & Your Students to Our Virtual Open Day

We invite you and your students to discover the opportunities that can open up an exciting

and rewarding future with the Australian Careers Business College. This exciting, interactive

event has been specially designed for young people and their influencers!

Our virtual open day scheduled for Saturday the 19th of September, is a great opportunity for

students to learn about the study and career path options available and help them make

informed decisions about their future Career. Careers Advisors will be on hand to answer

questions, while alumni, trainers and industry experts will share their knowledge.

Should they choose further study? The workforce? Or even both? ACBC offers the perfect

foundation to create an exciting future, and now studying a Nationally Recognised

Qualification has never been more flexible.

We have embraced technology in response to COVID19 and are delighted we can offer this

event online. It would be very much appreciated if you could notify all your students about

our upcoming event and guide them on how to register - by sharing the link below.

Join us from your home, in comfort and safety.

You will have the opportunity to:

• Hear from Careers Advisors, sharing expertise across our in-demand

learning areas • Watch Q & A sessions with the

trainers of our 10 in-demand Nationally Recognised Qualifications

• Hear about Traineeships and how you

can earn while you learn • Join in on live Q&A sessions

happening throughout the day • Discover our Work Placement

program, that gives you a one day a week industry experience while you study

• Find out what it means to study with Blended Learning that gives you more freedom and all the support

• Learn about our Scholarship program, and how potential students can apply • Discover how we can help you articulate into University with credit points • Tour our campus virtually with our students

• Find out how 2021 can offer some of the most flexible approaches to study yet!

Page 15: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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Mobile Phones

Students are provided the opportunity to hand in phones every morning at

roll call.

If a mobile phone is seen, heard or used on school grounds they will be

confiscated immediately and held for 2 weeks.

All students are aware of the 2-week protocol.

SICK BAY

Illness at School

Students who are sick during the school day should:

1. See a teacher for written permission to go to the sick bay.

2. Present themselves promptly to the senior administration office.

3. Follow instructions from the administrative staff politely.

4. Stay at school until the administrative staff have contacted

parents.

Students must not telephone parents to arrange for their parent/guardian to

collect them. This will be done by the office staff.

The sick bay is used for a short time only and students will be monitored by

the senior school administration officer. If the problem persists parents or

caregivers will be contacted. For serious problems, parents or caregivers will

be contacted immediately and for very serious cases medical help will be

sought.

It is extremely important that the medical information in each student’s file is accurate. If there is a

change in your child’s health status, the school MUST be notified. For students who are on medication

parents are required to complete a ‘Prescribed Medication’ form explaining the nature of the medication

and give clear guidelines for administering the medication. This form is available from the front office.

Prescribed medications must be distributed from the office.

Roll Call

Students are reminded that they are expected to arrive at school on time and attend Roll Call at

8.30am. This provides the opportunity for announcements and reminders, as well as providing

information to students about upcoming events during the week.

Similarly, it is expected that students attend school each day in the correct uniform (including correct

shoes and socks). PE uniform is only permitted on the days your child has practical and Friday Sports.

It has been very pleasing to see that the majority of students are always in the correct uniform.

Students late to class

Students late to class will receive an Afternoon Detention. Late to class can be defined simply as

‘wrong place, wrong time’. If a student is late to class / truant an entire period they are marked as

absent on the Sentral roll marking system. This is then followed up by the class teacher and the

Pastoral Care Coordinator the next day. Continued late to class / truancy may result in further action

being taken.

Homework is sent home every night. Please contact your child’s class teacher for any concerns.

Withdrawing from the College

If you are withdrawing a student from the College, please be advised that 10 weeks’ notice is required

If you do not provide the College 10 school weeks’ notice of withdrawing from the college, a term’s

fees will be charged to your account.

If you have any further enquiries, please don’t hesitate to contact the administration staff.

Page 16: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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Travel Policy

Please ensure that prior to booking any holidays during term time, that you seek approval from the

college. We only allow 10 school days leave maximum during a calendar year. Any families who are in

breach of our travel policy will be asked to repeat their current grade.

Please note that students enrolled in the Compression classes will not be granted leave during term

time.

Private Buses

Students travelling to and from school via private buses should use the foot path along the front

driveway. When leaving school, students must use the Junior crossing and the student exit pedestrian

gate.

School Zones

Strictly no reversing and no u turn’s around school zones. Police regularly monitor the area and we ask

you to uphold the Road and Traffic Authority road rules.

Afternoon Pickup and Morning Drop off

– Kiss and Drop

If travelling to and from school by car, pick up and

drop off is strictly via the school car line zone. Car line

may be accessed through the Junior school gate, follow

the road through to the senior school library and wait

in your car for your child. Children must wait in front

of the library until mum or dad are seen to approach

the library. Students are not permitted to wait along

the grass area, nor should they be encouraged to cross

carline to enter your vehicle.

Bellfield College Winter Uniform

All students Years 7 to 10 will change into the Winter Uniform in Term 2 and Term 3.

Senior Girls - Long teal skirt, white long sleeve blouse, grey stockings, black leather shoes and

College Blazer (all items are compulsory)

Teal scarf for Year 11 and Year 12 Girls

Senior Boys – Long grey pants, white long sleeve shirt, grey socks, black leather shoes, and College

Blazer. (all items are compulsory)

Tie for Year 11 and Year 12 Boys

The Uniform Shop is open on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

NOTE ** Our College uniform shop stocks open toe stockings suitable for ablution

Not wearing leather school shoes is a WHS risk and students will not be allowed to

participate in practical lessons (ie Food Technology)

Page 17: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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SENIOR SCHOOL CONTACT

Mrs Mouina Ramadan Head of Senior School [email protected]

Mr Hussein Akil Head of Department -

PDHPE

[email protected]

Mr Moustafa Nehme PDHPE and HSIE [email protected]

Mrs Jennifer Dowley PDHPE, Food Technology [email protected]

Ms Rana Nehme PDHPE [email protected]

Dr Abdi Ali Science Teacher [email protected]

Mrs Shweta Sharma Maths and Science [email protected]

Miss Sarah El Hourani Maths and Science [email protected]

Mrs Marwa Hijazi Maths and Science [email protected]

Mr Javid Karimi Mathematics [email protected]

Mrs Rana Chebli Information and Software

Technology (IST)

[email protected]

Mr Wassim Hijazi Head of Department –

HSIE

[email protected]

Ms Mariam Bazzi HSIE and English [email protected]

Br Mohamed Mohamedali HSIE and Legal Studies [email protected]

Ms Zeinab Rammal HSIE/English/Technology [email protected]

Miss Ayah Balloot Head of Department –

C.A.L.E

[email protected]

Ms Chanel Jbarah English [email protected]

Mr Mahdi Hussain English [email protected]

Ms Riem Derbasi English and Learning

Support

[email protected]

Ms Bayda Mahmood Arabic and Languages [email protected]

Mrs Sasha Hayes Technology and Visual

Arts

[email protected]

Mohamed Wehby IHSAN & Illuminations

Coordinator

[email protected]

Batoul Charafeddine Librarian [email protected]

Page 18: SENIOR SCHOOL WEEKLY - Bellfield College · 2020. 9. 14. · Years 7 – 8 (ages 12 – 13) Students in this educational session will have discussions around the benefits of technology,

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PICK YOUR BATTLES WISELY Three-year-old Sam was tired and cranky. He refused his mother’s request to put his plate in the

sink after a snack.

Elsa, Sam’s mother, who was usually quite firm didn’t insist that her son

comply. She knew that when her son got into ‘one of those moods’ it was best to leave him alone.

“You’ve got to pick your battles,” said an exasperated Elsa to the other parents in the room.

She also added, “You’ve got to pick the timing of your battles.” Tired and

emotional kids are incapable of processing what a parent is saying. Reason goes out the window.

This was a smart piece of parenting by Elsa. She could have easily locked herself into a battle of wills with her son, but it would have been a fairly pointless exercise. She may have won the battle, but at the cost of an agitated son and ongoing resentment.

Is winning your aim?

Often the battles we have with kids are about bigger issues such as power (“You should do as I say!”) and control (“This is the way things should be.”) rather than immediate issues such as cleanliness and tidiness. Good sense goes out the window when we get locked into disputes with children.

Do you choose the right time?

Like all parents, Elsa wants to develop good habits in her child, but wisely she picks the time and place to do so. The best time for productive teaching and habit-forming is when parents and kids are fresh and on good terms. Spending enjoyable one-on-one time with kids is such a wonderful opportunity for relationship-building and teaching.

What battles do you pick?

The battles you have with your children reveal a great deal about your parenting values. If you find that you stand your ground over a child’s disrespectful behaviour toward a sibling or friend then respect is a strong value you hold. If you always insist that your child uses good manners even when they are tired, then fair treatment and good manners are strongly held values. If you

insist that your child is kind and generous to others, and you find yourself bristling at their selfishness, then generosity is more than likely a trait you value highly. We tend to fight hard for

the values that we hold dearly, and become upset when our kids don’t follow suit.

Do you sweat the small stuff?

Sometimes children and young people can display a multitude of annoying behaviours and attitudes when going through difficult times. For instance, a young person may leave their bedroom messy, repeatedly sleep in, pick fights with siblings, continually argue with their parents

and always come home late from school. If a parent fights with their child over everything then they are in for an emotionally draining time and a deterioration in their relationship. It would be

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better to ignore most of the minor misbehaviours and focus on the more significant behaviours such as how a young person treats others.

If, for instance, a young person continually swears at and is critical of a younger sibling, would you pick up on the swearing or the put down? I’d suggest that the put down is far more harmful than swearing and should be the focus of your attention. Often, we focus on the minor stuff at the expense of the more significant issues because it’s easier and less stressful that way.

Do you avoid all battles?

As much as we’d like always to maintain good relationships with our children, this doesn’t have to come at the expense of good child-rearing. The parent who never goes into battle with their children is generally not doing them any favours. This is known as the Laissez-faire or permissive approach where parents are high on relationship-building and low on firmness and boundaries. It’s

far better for kids if you adopt a collaborative or authoritative approach where there’s a healthy mix of relationship-building and firmness. Parents who use this approach are generally adept at picking their battles, specifically those that should be ignored and those that are worth spending

time and energy on. They also have spent a great deal of time building up enough goodwill with their kids that enables them to survive disagreements that they may have.

So, pick your battles wisely. Avoid using up energy and goodwill by fighting with kids over minor stuff, or when they are obviously tired and cranky. On the other hand, make sure you pick them

up on the really important stuff regardless of their moods, which is where your parenting values come in.

By Michael Gross