ObserverMelbourne

ObserverMelbourne

ISSN 1447 4611

ObserverMelbourne

WHYMTR

FAILEDPage 62

KRISTY’SNEWCD

Page 6

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND - FREE READER ADS - PAGE 31

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 7, 2012 www.MelbourneObserver.com.auPh 1-800 231 311Fx 1-800 231 312

STATEEDITIONVol 44

No 1465SERVINGVICTORIA

SINCE 1969

PAPERSAYS

SORRYPage 5

FESTIVAL’SURGENTFIGHT

Page 9

NEWS ★ SHOWBIZ ★ LIFESTYLE ★ TRAVEL ★ FEATURES ★ BARGAINS ★ SPORT

TOP VALUE

$272 PAGES

95

including GST

$2.95

PASSION

■■■■■ Miriam Margoyles shows passion in her work, Dickens’ Women, whichplays in Frankston tonight, and continues in Geelong and Ballarat over thecoming week. Cheryl Threadgold’s review, and opening night pictures are onPage 11. Photo: Prudence Upton

THE GRAHAM KENNEDY LETTERSNEVER PUBLISHED BEFORENEVER PUBLISHED BEFORE

IN HIS OWN WORDS, THE TV ‘KING’ TALKS ABOUT★★★★★ HIS BROKEN LOVE AFFAIR ★★★★★ HARRY M MILLER

★★★★★ THE STAR WHO ‘WANTS SOMETHING FOR NOTHING’

6-PAGE FEATURE. WARNING - PROFANE LANGUAGE MAY OFFEND

THE GRAHAM KENNEDY LETTERS

NEW!MORE PIX

PAGES

MELBOURNE’SGREAT DIVIDE

■■■■■ Yvonne Malik was raised in north sub-urban Reservoir, with Egyptian heritage.

3AW traffic reporter Caroline Fergusonwas brought up on a rural property, andwent to boarding school in Melbourne’s leafysouth-east.

The pair have combined to perform inPyramids And Pimm’s, for the MelbourneComedy Festival.

The comedy duo look at the great dividebetween north and south of the Yarra. Theshow - with lots of laughs - has been writ-ten and produced by Ferguson.

The show debuts at The Butterfly Club,204 Bank Street, South Melbourne onMarch 28, and runs until April 22 (eachTuesday, Wednesday & Sunday) at 9.30pmBookings: comedyfestival.com.au or call9690 2000 after 5pm.

Page 2 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 Editor’s Choice page is now on the Inside Back Cover

Melbourne Observer

24 Hour ServiceAltona - Laverton - Werribee

www.candlepines.com.au

9369 4919

WWWWW hen you lose someone you lovehen you lose someone you lovehen you lose someone you lovehen you lose someone you lovehen you lose someone you loveyou don’you don’you don’you don’you don’t need someonet need someonet need someonet need someonet need someone

telling you how it istelling you how it istelling you how it istelling you how it istelling you how it is.....YYYYYou need gou need gou need gou need gou need genuine empathy and supenuine empathy and supenuine empathy and supenuine empathy and supenuine empathy and support.port.port.port.port.

YYYYYou need clear arrangou need clear arrangou need clear arrangou need clear arrangou need clear arrangement detailsement detailsement detailsement detailsement details.....YYYYYou need things done the way you want.ou need things done the way you want.ou need things done the way you want.ou need things done the way you want.ou need things done the way you want.

Most of all you need to fMost of all you need to fMost of all you need to fMost of all you need to fMost of all you need to feel includedeel includedeel includedeel includedeel included- lik- lik- lik- lik- like a fe a fe a fe a fe a family.amily.amily.amily.amily.

How do we know?How do we know?How do we know?How do we know?How do we know?Because that’Because that’Because that’Because that’Because that’s ws ws ws ws what we dohat we dohat we dohat we dohat we do.....

TTTTTender Moments - Tender Moments - Tender Moments - Tender Moments - Tender Moments - Tender Careender Careender Careender Careender Care

Latest NewsFlashes Around Victoria

ObserverMelbourne

In This 72-Page Edition

Mark Richardson: Donna Demaio ......... Page 4News: Observer says sorry ................... Page 5Melbourne People: Etihad party time ..... Page 6Di Rolle: Say hello to Rilka .................. Page 8Melb. Confidential: Festival’s fight ......... Page 9Showbiz: Dickens’ Women first night ..... Page 11Long Shots: Shame on you, Yumi ........ Page 12Yvonne Lawrence: Life and Style ......... Page 14Kevin Trask: Phyllis Diller profile ......... Page 22Radio: Why MTR failed ...................... Page 62Harness Racing: Inter-Dominion Final ... Page 68

It’s All About You!

Footy official charged■ A senior Victorian football club offi-cial, in his 50s, has faced Court for 19child sex offences. The man cannot benamed due to a suppression order.

Fraudster appeals■ Chartwell fraudster Graeme Hoy hasappealed against the jail sentence hereceived for the $80 million collapse.

Funeral burn-out■ Ocean Grove driver JaydenMcKenna, charged with being the prin-cipal offender in a burnout spree at afuneral, has been jailed for two months.

Jim SherlockAaron Rourke

Cheryl ThreadgoldJulie Houghton

ObserverMelbourne

Breaking Newswww.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 3

ObserverShowbizObserverShowbiz

13 MONTHS JAIL OVERMOBILE PHONE SCAM

■ Rakesh Kumar has lost his Court ofAppeal bid to have a 13-month jail termreduced over his involvement in a$763,938 mobile phone scam.

Supreme Court Judges Weinberg andHollingworth that Kumar was architectof the scam which also involved SalilGhag, running through a company knownas TMZ Group, trading as Leading EdgeTelecoms.

The men, with Mandeep Singh Chaw-la, arranged for orders to be placed withTelstra for mobile phones. The orderswere placed in fraudulent names.

The phones were sent to vacant prop-erties, the addresses of which weresourced through estate agency websites.

‘Attempted delivery slips’ were pickedup by accomplices who collected themobile phones from local post offices.

The phones were then sold to a retailoutlet in Sydney.

Kumar received about $350,000 forhis part in the scam. Ghag and Chawlareceived $122,036 and $95,520 respec-tively. Co-offenders received $172,000.

Kumar used his money to acquire ashare in a Telstra franchise. The CourtAppeal, based on mainfestly excessivejail term and parity, was rejected.

●●●●● Veronica Hannebery plays retired Magistrate, Mrs Boyle, in STAG’s produc-tion of The Mousetrap. Photo: Kellie Tweedale of KT Pearl Photography

‘Whodunnit’ mystery

■ Strathmore Theatrical Arts Group(STAG) is presenting Agatha Christie’s clas-sic masterpiece The Mousetrap until March10 at 8pm at the Strathmore Community Hall,cnr Loeman and Napier Sts, Strathmore.

The limited release of amateur rights inhonour of the 60th anniversary of the originalproduction are now frozen and STAG is thrilledto be presenting The Mousetrap to Melbourneaudiences, under the direction of Drew Ma-son.

An air of nervous anticipation is sensed inthe audience even before the show starts.

The play is set in 1952 and eight peoplebecome trapped in an isolated guesthouse dur-ing a blizzard.

The phone lines are down, the roads areblocked … and then one of the eight is mur-dered.

The cast, under Mason’s direction, buildsup appropriate tension to ensure the audiencesits on the edge of their seats, accentuated byclever use of doors and entrances.

Tony Leatch has designed and constructeda warm and atmospheric set representing TheHall at Monkswell Manor.

Cast members include Luke Smith andKellie Tweedale (guesthouse owners Giles andMollie Ralston), Matthew Martin (SergeantTrotter) and guests Roderick Chappel (Ma-

jor Metcalf), Veronica Hannebery (MrsBoyle) Clare Hayes (Miss Casewell), DennisHine-St Clair (Mr Paravicini) and AndrewScarborough (Christopher Wren).

Agatha Christie’s skilfully crafted play wasoriginally written as a 20-minute radio drama,commissioned by the BBC to celebrate the80th birthday of Queen Mary.

The Mousetrap is now the longest runningplay of all time.

STAG’s cast does well in creating the char-acters to absorb us into this thriller and thenursery rhyme Three Blind Mice will never bethe same again for audiences.

So … whodunit?Audiences have been asked for 60 years at

the end of each show not to reveal the culprit,so you won’t read it here.

There is, however, opportunity for you tofind out on March 7, 8, 9 and 10 at 8pm.

Tickets are $20 full price, $15 concession,$2 off full price tickets for groups of 10 ormore and you will also enjoy the friendly hos-pitality of STAG’s front of house staff.

Bookings: 9382 6284www.stagtheatre.org/reservations

Mike McColl Jones

Top 5THE TOP 5 THINGS

BOB CARR MIGHT FIND

IN KEVIN RUDD'S OFFICE

5. A carton of hair spray.

4. A Mandarin/English dictionary

3. A huge stack of frequent flyer points.

2. A suit-coat with several knife holes.

1. A copy of the book ‘Rarely Used English Words’.

REVIEW BYCHERYL THREADGOLD

Annual Subscription. Special: $99

Melbourne Observer45 Copies Mailed To Your Home

To: Melbourne Observer SubsPO Box 1278, Research, Vic 3095Yes! Please mail me 45 editions of the Melbourne Observer.I enclose Cheque/Money Order/Credit Card for $99.

Name: .............................................................................

Address: .............................................................................

....................................... Phone: ......................................

Credit Card (Visa, MC, AE) .......................................................

Expiry: ..................................................................................

30 Glen Gully Road,Eltham, Vic 3095

Subscription Order Form. $99

Posted anywhere in AustraliaDon’t miss a single issue of theMelbourne Observer. Take out a $99annual subscription to the MelbourneObserver. We will mail a copy of thenewspaper to you every week. Theannual sub. price is normally $228,for a weekly copy to be mailed any-where in Australia.Simply complete the form below. Youcan pay by cheque, money order orCredit Card. Or phone our office on1-800 231 311.

Mail the coupon - or phone1-800 231 311

ObserverMelbourne

STILL ONLY

$264 PAGES

ObserverMelbourne

GIANT

HOLIDAY

X-WORD

Pages 54-55

OPRAH’S

MELB.

VISIT

Page 10

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 15, 2010 www.MelbourneObserver.com.auPh 1-800 231 311

Fx 1-800 231 312

$2.00including GST

STATE

EDITION

Vol 42

No 1423

SERVING

VICTORIA

SINCE 1969

YES,

THERE IS

A SANTA

NEWS ★ SHOWBIZ ★ LIFESTYLE ★ TRAVEL ★ FEATURES ★ BARGAINS ★ SPORT ★ PLUS ‘OBSERVER OVERNIGHTERS’

FINAL EDITION FOR 2010

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!

$

2IDEAL

XMAS

STOCKING

STUFFER

Discounted by $127. Hurry!

Page 4 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Straight from the heart♥ E-Mail:mark@localmedia.com.au

Mark Richardson

ON THE SPOT WITH 3AW’S DONNA DEMAIO

●●●●● Donna Demaio prepares for a live news-read

Porch Thoughts

●●●●● Sarah-Jessica Parkerwith Donna Demaio

Photo: Jim Lee

●●●●● Donna Demaio has celebrated 20 years at 3AWPhoto: MHB Photography

■ Donna Demaio has just cel-ebrated her 20th year at 3AW andremains one of Melbourne's highlyrespected and award-winning jour-nalists.

With her finger tightly on the show-biz pulse, her mornings can start asearly as 3.15am while she makes herway to the studio for her breakfastnews shift.

Her afternoons are usually filledwith luncheons or attending launchesand, on a good day, Donna may findtime to squeeze in a 'Nanna' nap be-fore collecting her son from school.

Donna's evenings are generallyfilled with launches, previews, filmscreenings, premiers and interview-ing celebrities, but recently took timeout of her busy schedule to share herPorch Thoughts at the SouthernCross Station.

Why do you consider your'Porch' to be train station plat-forms?

My life is so busy that it seemsthat it's often my only chance forsome 'down time'. I reflect on myday and where I'm heading (figura-tively and literally) as I travel to andfrom events mainly of an evening. Iquite enjoy waiting for the next train.

Did you ever think you would becelebrating 20 years in radio?

I am shocked to have reached 20years. It's not always an easy gig andI'm quite pleased to have reached themilestone. How did you celebrate your twen-

tieth birthday at 3AW?My very supportive (and proud)

husband Michael Wooldridge actu-ally rang the station to tell producers,so Neil Mitchell kindly made a briefmention on air and during the weekand Denis Walter also congratulatedme while I was doing a live crossback to his program.

I received some lovely cards andeven a couple of bottles of cham-pagne from industry colleagues - andloads of pats on the back in the hall-way at work.

Since I love a hearty lunch, mydear hubby took me for a deliciousdumplings lunch at the local Chineseon the actual day.

You knocked on the 3AW doorsin your twenties trying to break intoradio, prior to that, what were youdoing?I completed my Bachelor of Arts de-gree in Interpreting/Translating (Ital-ian language), then went on to com-

plete by Diploma of Education. I alsowas still working as a check-out chickat Coles supermarket and selling CDsat Myer. I had a weekly breakfast gigon 3PBS FM after starting on nightprograms.

Who has been your biggest in-fluence or mentor in shaping yourcareer?

When I started, a wonderful jour-nalist Kelly Graham (now a Chan-nel Ten news producer) took me un-der her wing. She helped me with ev-erything from reading skills and build-ing my confidence, to coping with theawful and seemingly interminableweekend and overnight shifts.

Last year, 3AW's Kate Wilsonhad an attack of the hiccups duringa live news read, and we all recallyour famous brush with the Policehorse incident, have you experiencedany other 'hiccups' live on-air?

There are so many times I havenearly sneezed on air. I sneeze a lotwhen fatigued.

■ Some of Australia's creative celebrities have painted and decoratedchairs that were unveiled last week at the Monash Gallery of Art andwill be auctioned to raise much-needed funds for the National BreastCancer Foundation.

Celebrities including Alex Fevola, Alyce Platt, Suzie Wilks and PeterRussell Clarke joined renowned artists Jamie Daddo, Jody Pratt, JaneSinclair, Barbara Kitallides, Emilia Johari and Archibald finalist SoniaKretschmar to create unique Porch chairs for the exhibition, inspired bythe theme Pink: Life, Love, Beauty.

At the media presentation, photographer Alex Fevolva shared herinspiration behind designing her porch chair titled Chair of Hope, thatfeatures famous females who have survived breast cancer.

“My chair is meant to be an eye piece with lots to look at and a sourceof inspiration for people battling cancer

●●●●● Alex Fevola

“All the pictures are of womenwho have survived breast cancerand are now living happy, healthylives. The words (on the arms ofthe chair) are 'hope' in different lan-guages."

Organised by Melbourne out-door furniture company, ThePorch, the exhibition hopes to raiseawareness of Breast Cancer andthe importance of 'taking time tosmell the roses'.

The chairs will be displayed atprominent exhibition spots aroundMelbourne and auctioned atMelbourne Central on May 11.

For exhibition details and pre-auction bidding visit www..theporch.com.au/pink-chair-ity-auction

The Porch's Pink 'Chair-ity' Fundraiser

And, of course, I have had my pro-nunciation issues with certain namesor words. But I'm not revealing whatthey were - some things are best leftforgotten.

You report on many gala events,is there one event anywhere in the

world that you haven't covered, butwould like to?

I would love to cover the Oscars... from the red carpet to the after-parties ... maybe one day.

●●●●● Turn To Page 12

‘ADVISER TOOK CLIENTS’ CASH’Observer

Melbourne

Breaking Newswww.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Briefs

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 5

■ The Australian Secu-rities and InvestementsCommission has perma-nently banned NenadPetrovic, a former Victo-rian company director,from providing financialservices after he allegedlydishonestly withdrewmore than $200,000 from

Stripped at La Mama

‘OBSERVER’ SAYS SORRY

■ The Melbourne Observer published a report,‘Teacher Struck Off’, in its February 22 edition.

That report contained information that had been pub-lished in the Victoria Government Gazette, and was ap-parently authorised for publication by the Victorian In-stitute of Teaching. That edition of the Gazette remainsonline as we go to press.

This newspaper was last week informed by the Of-fice of Public Prosecutions Victoria that the case wasthe subject of a suppression order made by CountyCourt Judge Gabriele Cannon in November last year.

A copy of that suppression order supplied to theMelbourne Observer refers to the accused by a pseud-onym only.

This newspaper was unaware of the prohibition ofpublication on the reporting of proceedings. At no timedid the Melbourne Observer seek to breach any order.

The Melbourne Observer has previously editorialisedover the need for such orders to be followed.

The online copy of the Melbourne Observer wasremoved within 15 minutes of us being informed onWednesday last week (Feb. 29).

This newspaper did not intentionally breach the sup-pression order. Through the OPP, and through officers,we have offered our unreserved apology to Judge Can-non and the County Court. We do so again today - atthe earliest opportunity - in this public forum.

- Ash Long, Editor

●●●●● Caroline Lee features in her new one-woman show Stripped at La Mama Theatrefrom March 7 – 18. More details on P61.

Photo: Laurence Strangio

client accounts over a four-month period.The action against Petrovic, now of Brisbane, fol-

lows an ASIC investigation into his time as a directorand financial adviser of the boutique financial advisoryfirm, Mitchell Asset Management Pty Ltd, formerlyAlmane Pty Ltd, between November 2009 and March2010.

ASIC’s investigation found that in the four-monthperiod, Petrovic acted dishonestly and in breach of fi-nancial services laws when he made unauthorised trans-fers of client money from their Macquarie Cash Man-agement Trust accounts to his own bank accounts.

The amount totalling $208,688 was used to pay offpersonal debts and to purchase shares in Petrovic’s name.

ASIC Commissioner Peter Kell saysASIC would actto remove dishonest operators from the financial ser-vices industry to improve overall standards and main-tain the confidence of the investing public.

Mitchell Asset Management Pty Ltd has recovered$200,000 of the outstanding funds from Petrovic andclients have been reimbursed.

Petrovic’s conduct was brought to ASIC’s attentionby Mitchell Asset Management, who cooperated withASIC’s investigation.

Petrovic has the right to appeal to the Administra-tive Appeals Tribunal for a review of ASIC’s decision.

ASIC ACCUSES PETROVIC

Go! Showthis Friday

Water ban

■ The State Gov-ernment has de-clared water ineight Wimmeratowns unfit for hu-man consumption.

Water suppliesfrom the Wimm-era-Mallee Pipe-line to Beulah,Brim, Donald,Jung, Rupanyup,Wo o m e l a n g ,Wycheproof andMinyip have beendeemed 'regu-lated' under theSafe Drinking Wa-ter Act.

Arson

■ Police believethat an arsonist isresponsible forgrass fires at West-meadows. Theysay they are satis-fied there were nonatural or acciden-tal causes.

To prison

Enchantedevening atMornington

■ Beleura House and Garden, Mornington isproudly hosting an OzChild musical soiree, SomeEnchanted Evening, on Friday, March 16 and Satur-day, March 17.

Bus transfers will be at 5pm for a 6pm perfor-mance. Showcasing the talents of the MorningtonPeninsula’s own opera singers, the program in-cludes Lucy Nicolson, Pete Smitheram, MoniqueLe Bas and Michael Laity, joined by the OzChildGlee Club Choir.

Enjoy the most loved melodies of South Pacificand other light opera. All proceeds raised will go tothe OzChild Performing Arts Program for youngpeople with a disability.

Tickets: $70 adults, $65 concession, includes alight supper.Bookings: OzChild Mornington, 59757644.

●●●●● Lucy Nicolson

■■■■■ Melbourne promoter Dennis Smith presents Go! Show Goldthis Friday (Mar. 9) at the Palais, St Kilda. Performers includeNormie Rowe, Ronnie Burns, MPD Limited, Bobby Bright, DinahLee, Darryl Cotton, Tony Worsley and the Masters Apprentices.

■ Brazen thiefAaron Taylor, 20,who stole morethan $20,000 inrings from aBendigo jewellerwhile his friendsdistracted staff, isto serve sixmonths’ jail.

Break-in■ Ballarat manPaul DarrenMcDonald, 30,caught red-handed by Policeafter breaking intoa local medicalcentre earlier thisyear has beenjailed.

M c D o n a l dbroke into the UFScentre, using ajemmy, which setoff a silent alarm.He has been jailedfor three months.

Valuable lessons can sometimes be lost due toemotional responses created from short-term vola-tility and disruption. It can be so frustrating!

One of the most straightforward strategies thatcan be utilised to assist client portfolios in timesof high frustration and volatility is that of dollarcost averaging.

Dollar cost averaging is an investment strategythat can be used with any investment. Dollar costaveraging involves investing equal monetaryamounts regularly over specific time periods (suchas $100 monthly) in a particular investment or port-folio.

By doing so, more shares are purchased whenprices are low and fewer shares are purchasedwhen prices are high. The point of this is to lowerthe total average cost per share of the invest-ment, giving the investor a lower overall cost forthe shares purchased over time.

The really interesting thing with dollar cost av-eraging actually works better in volatile marketsrather than those that gradually increase.

As investors we all prefer markets like thosefrom 2003 to early 2008 when despite the odd “mar-ket correction” along the way the overall directionwas pointing up.

Since the start of 2008 and the global financialcrisis volatility has been ever present. 1% to 2%swings on a regular basis have coursed a signifi-cant amount of stress but interestingly enoughsome of us have become a little conditioned to it!That’s a discussion for another time.

An example of a dollar cost averaging strategyis where $100 is invested over five time periods.The market price of the investment begins at $10,falls to $7.50, falls further to $5.50 before bouncingback to $11 before settling back at $10. In otherwords the market over the five investment peri-ods has ended where it started.

The bad news about dollar cost averaging isthat some times you will be buying into a marketat high prices although you will also be buying inat low points, which is where you essentially makeyour money.

In this case, at the end of the period by dollarcost averaging the investment portfolio was worth$606. Keep in mind, $500 was invested and themarket ended where it started.

If you had invested the same amount in a mar-ket that rose steadily from $10 in $1 increments to$14, you would have had a portfolio worth close to$591.

The average cost of the dollar cost averagedportfolio was $8.25 compared to $11.83 for thegradually increasing market.

What we quickly learn here is less about theend portfolio value and more about overcomingour natural behaviour. We generally feel goodabout investing when markets are trending upsteadily.

Markets that are volatile unsettle us and cre-ate doubt about the wisdom of investing andhave us second-guess our decisions.

A disciplined investment approach like dollarcost averaging helps overcome that naturalbehavioural that wants us to try and time themarket, which is fraught with danger.

As always, if you would like to review your per-sonal financial situation we would be happy tomeet with you initially, at our expense.

Jon & Andrew Rancie are Authorised Repre-sentatives of Australian Financial Services (AFSL:No. 297239)

Note: In this article we have not considered your personal situ-ation nor your goals or objectives. You should not base yourfuture investment decisions on the content of this article. Beforeyou invest your hard earned money you should consult a Finan-cial Adviser and have your situation reviewed, clarified and agreeto a strategy for investing for the future.

Dollar Cost Averaging -Does It Work?

Financial Planning

with Jon and Andrew Rancieof Rancie McLean Financial Planning

Level 4, 420 Collins Street,Melbourne Vic 3000

Phone: 9671 4990

PeopleMelbourne

Send news to editor@melbourneobserver.com.au Fax: 1-800 231 312

Page 6 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

●●●●● Melbourne-born James Hogan, President and CEO of Etihad Airways, will bein hometown this week to celebrate the airline’s fifth birthday in Australia. Hewill host a big party, just one week after launching scheduled flights betweenscheduled flights between Abu Dhabi and Shanghai, where he was pictured withcabin crew. This week’s Melbourne celebrations are accompanied by news thatthe airline has reported a profit for the first time.

Party time for Etihad

●●●●● Vito Mattarelli and Rachel Berger were at the opening night for MiriamMargolyes’s Dickens Women at the Playhouse, Arts Centre. More first nightpictures on Page 11. Photo: Oliver Ballantyne

At Miriam’s opening night

21st birthday

■ Melbourne Observerarts writer Julie Hough-ton helped celebrate the21st birthday of sonChristian Smith at theEuropean Bier Café atthe weekend.

Christian was joinedby father Allan, andguests were drawn fromThe Vocal Consort, theRoyal Melbourne Phil-harmonic, the Consortof Melbourne, Boroon-dara Brass and Melb-ourne Youth Music.

Old school matesfrom HuntingtowerSchool joined withuniversity friends andrlatives to celebrate thenight in style.

●●●●● Julie Houghton andChristian Smith

●●●●● Photos, Page 48

At Breezes

●●●●● Luisa Valazza

■ Crown last night(Tues.) launched its StarsOf Stars event with acocktail party atBreezes.

Timed to coincidewith the 20th anniversaryof the Melbourne Foodand Wine Festival, theevent features eightinternational chefsincluding: Italy’s LuisaValazza, four of France’sbest chefs includingThierry Marx, SergeVieira, ‘Prince of Pastry’Stephane Bour andJacques Marcon, Sang-Hoon Degeimbre fromBelgium, Tokyo’s JunYukimura and KitKeung from Hong Kong.

Breezes restaurantwas transformed into afood lovers’ haven as fiveof Crown’s ‘Stars of Stars’chefs created theirsignature dishes, givingguests the chance totaste their way aroundthe globe.

Chocolate!

Finney in focus

●●●●● Carrie Bickmore

■ Publicist Lucy Buck-nall tells us that theWerribee Park EasterEgg Hunt and FamilyPicnic is a sell-outevent. Proceeds godirectly to the RoyalChildren’s HospitalGood Friday Appeal.

The event is beingsponsored by Cadbury,which has appointedCarrie Bickmore, co-host of The Project, asambassador.

●●●●● Australian Film Institute Chairman, Alan Finney,is the latest subject to be framed by Katoomba-based artist, Victor Alejandro Peralta for theArchibald Prize. Entries for the 2012 controversialart competition started flooding into the Art Galleryof NSW first thing this week.

Photo: Carole Hampshire

Fashionistasista

●●●●● Myer ambassador Jen-nifer Hawkins was keen tobe pictured with Mel-bourne fashionistaSuzanne Carbone at thedepartment store’s Au-tumn-Winner preview heldat the Mural Hall on Thurs-day night.

■ We promisedreaders that we wouldpublish a photo ofyoung Quillan Palmer,son of Observerreaders Dave andNaurelle Palmer ofSeymour.

Quillan is a happychap, and eagerlywatches his Dad who isengaged on acting ass-ignments around town.

Awards■ The Observer cam-eras were on hand forthe MelbourneAwards event held latelast week. Turn to Page47 for our coverage.

Kristy’s new CD■ Observer country music columnist Rob Foenander reports thatKristy Cox has released her new CD, Miles and Timezones.

“The 11-track collection is a fine mix of bluegrass and countrytunes that sees Kristy collaborating with other well known song writ-ers and musicians on a number of songs,” Rob reports.

“The album was recorded in Nashville and produced by songwriterJerry Salley who has been described by magazine as one of thegreatest tunesmiths.’

Rob’s Country Crossroads column appears on Page 50 in thisweek’s Melbourne Observer.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 7

Page 8 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012

DiTo

For with leading Melbournepublicist DI ROLLE

Di Rolleis heardmostMondayswithAndrewMcLarenon 3AW,just afterthe 1amquiz.

I love my job!I love my job!

COME, SAY HELLO TO RILKA■ I love to boastabout my friends andif you are a regular lis-tener to Lindy Burnsprogram on ABC 774you will have heardRilka speak about herfabulous recipes.

A true Renaissancewoman, Rilka is oneof those women whoalways looks brilliant,speaks brilliantly andcooks like no-one elseI know!

I recall some yearsback sitting over cof-fee with Rilka and dis-cussing her dream ofwriting a book – shethrows the most won-derful dinner partiesand her dishes aremost envied.

I am thrilled to beable to tell readers thatHarper Collins haspicked up Rilka andher book Rilka'sFeasts will come to an ABC Bookstore near

Daniel impresses

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

●●●●● Rilka is making appearances at ABC bookstores

you this month fol-lowed by general re-lease in April

Rilka will be in anumber of ABC storesover the next fewweeks and if you get achance pop in and sayhi – between the hoursof 12.30pm and 1.30pm you can see Rilka

●●●●● Prospect 360 Fashion Media semi-nar panel (from left) Sarah Willcocks,Melissa Templeton and Anthea O'Connor

■ March 17, Chad-stone■ March 18, Knox■ March 23, GPO■ March 24, Don-caster■ March 25, Ring-wood

Do come along andsay hello to Rilka!

■ So good to see Molly Meldrum home.Take it easy Molly, we love you and de-

spite missing you all this time, we want youwell and healthy and happy.

●●●●● Molly Meldrum with Ziggy

Be well, Molly

Been and Seen

●●●●● Natasha Cuthers-Clark and Sophie Randall-Hughes ●●●●● Nova 100's Jane Elliott with Mike Cuss ●●●●● Scott Fiora, Tony Sheahan and Ian Livock

●●●●● The Collection owners Owen Westmanand Paul Fitzsimmons

●●●●● Keep Australia Beautiful ambassador LaraShannon, Kathryn Brus and Helen Spear

●●●●● Maryanne Niceforo, Owen Westman, Jill andDavid Taylor and Paul Fitzsimmons

Re-launch of ‘The Collection’ Cocktail Bar,Richmond. More photos on Page 68

■ What a crazy week it was. With Juliaand Kevin, things seem to have settled downwith Bob Carr now at the helm of ForeignMinister and life will go on.

Settling back into work this week aftermy Dad’s passing I have found myselfwatching lots of television and whilst watch-ing thinking about times past etc as you do insuch times.

One young man who kept popping on mytelevision screen was Daniel Radcliffe. Inever got my head around Harry Potter anddidn’t feel much interest in doing so.

However I must say how struck have beenwith his interviews and the way he presentshimself.

He was impressive on Graham Nortonlast week and he has grown up. Wanting tomove away from the Harry Potter genre, heis still a best-selling actor, his new movieThe Woman In Black has become Britain’shighest grossing British horror film of thepast 20 years, it has been reported by thePress Association.

The Hammer film in which the fabulouslysuccessful Harry Potter star (not to mentionwealthy, he owns a home in our very ownToorak!) plays a grieving widower who trav-els to a remote village and stumbles upon anunforgiving ghost – the movie has raked inmore cash than any Hollywood productionsshot in the UK with British talent.

It has been No 1 in Britain for the pastthree weeks, taking in $21.6m. Simon Oakesof Hammer said: ‘The record breaking suc-cess of Women In Black is an importantachievement that affirms the rebirth of Ham-mer.” Radcliffe next plays Allan Ginsbergin Kill Your Darlings, based on a murder ofone of the American poet’s friends. I did adouble take when I heard that he was goingto play Ginsberg then I thought he will do afine job. Being a huge fan of Ginsberg I willbe looking forward to this film very much.

ConfidentialMelbourne

BitchMelbourne’s Secrets

Whispers

Rumour Mill

Hear It Here First

CABARET FESTIVAL’S URGENTFIGHT TO STAY ON STAGE

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 9

E-Mail: Confidential@MelbourneObserver.com.au

Talk is cheap, gossip is priceless

■ The MelbourneCabaret Festival mightnot happen this year.

Melbourne Observerarts correspondent JulieHoughton says the Julyfestival is urgently tryingto raise funds by March15, so that this year'sevent will not be can-celled.

“This is one festivalthat is entirely self-sup-porting - it is funded en-tirely through ticket sales,strategic sponsorshipsand fund raising dollarsrather than using taxpay-ers’ money through grants.

“The campaign is at-tracting some high profilesupport - Australian of theYear, actor GeoffreyRush has come on board,and has donated a limitededition Pirates Of TheCaribbean T-shirt thatwas produced only for thecast and crew of themovie.

The T-shirt has por-traits and printed signa-tures of the movie's stars,and it will be a prize in adraw that will take placefor supporters of the fundraising campaign oncethe halfway mark of the$15,000 target has beenreached.”

Two big fund raisingshows have been sched-uled for cabaret venueDownstairs At Alma's, 1Wilks St, CaulfieldNorth, on Saturday (Mar.10) and Wednesday (Mar.14).

Acclaimed cabaretperformer Jon Jackson isworking hard behind thescenes to get the word outand encourage people tocome to the concerts. Jonis taking to the stage witha large number of caba-ret star pals.

"I'll be joined by BillieWilde, Susan-AnnWalker, Sally Bourne,Jamie Bretman, KarlisZaid and Karen Mui-znieks but there will beplenty more coming onboard,' Jon says.

Financial support canbe pleadged viawww.pozible.com

Bookings: www.downstairs atalmas.com or0467 903 347

Knife hit

Car 54, Where Are You?

■ An Observer reader e-mails: “This is apot-hole at the corner of High and ValerieSts, East Kew. It's not so much a pot-hole asa crater. Soon after I photographed it, aHonda Civic disappeared in it.”

Bitch is now on the hunt for Melbourne’sbiggest pot-hole. Send us a photo and de-tails of your largest local crater.

●●●●● At High and Valerie Sts, East Kew

●●●●● Geoffrey Rush and Neville Sice: urgently seeking funds

Next week isdeadline to

raise funds tostay alive

FILEPHOTO

■ D i s a b i l i t ysupport pen-sioner KevinRobert Lans-down, of NorthAlbury,pickedup a knife andthrew it, a courtheard on Friday.

The knife hithis partner nearher left eyewhich caused asmall amount ofbleeding. Lans-down has beenfined $400 andplaced on an 18-month bond.

Bailed

■ A 14-year-oldboy has beenbailed afterpleading guiltyto lighting a $4.6million blaze at adisued school inMelbour ne’swest, while hisgirlfriend wasstill inside.

$10,400

Dee Dee bobs up at SEN

●●●●● Daniel Harford, Dee Dee Dunleavy,Rita Panahi and Jason Richardson at SEN■ Former Gold 104.3 ‘breakfast’ co-hostDee Dee Dunleavy bobbed up on sportsstation SEN 1116 as a lunchtime guest onthe Harf Time/Casual Friday spot.

It is a busy time for the long-timeMelbourne radio favourite ... as it is forher professional partner, Peter ‘Grubby’Stubbs.

They even launched a joint Facebookpage this week. Things are happening.

■ MTR 1377 has been replaced by anautomated music loop, MyMP. Industryobservers predict that the machine willrate much better than the 1.4 per centthat MTR Program Director Steve Pricewas able to achieve in two years.

More music on ‘MP’

Prisoner on its way back■ Foxtel is comm-issioning a ‘reimag-ining’ of the PrisonerTV program thatstarred Vel Lehmanas ‘Queen Bea’ Smithand Colette Mann as‘Doreen’. The origi-nal show ran between1979 and 1986, andrepeats are currentlyseen on cable channel111. ●●●●● Val Lehman

●●●●● Jill Singer

Nixon back on the Tweet

Bad pillfor Jill

■ Journalist Jill Singer isupset that her column hasbeen dropped by the Her-ald Sun newspaper.

Singer took to socialmedia this week to recfordher displeasure:

“Editor just boned me.He will no longer "accom-modate" my column. Re-placed today by an itemon ... Lara Bingle.”

Funerals■ Port Phillip Councillooks set to introducea fund that pays for thefuneral of local ab-original people.●●●●● Ricky Nixon

■ Just a week after hislatest arrest, and ask-ing for his privacy tobe respected, formerAFL player agentRicky Nixon (did hisparents really bringanother RichardNixon into the world?)is back on Twitter.

Tricky Dicky isback chiding The Agejourno who reportedabout contents of hiswebsite.

TIP: Big TV name’s contract about NOT to be renewed?

■ DC Roof Til-ing of Bayswa-ter has been or-dered to pay a$7500 fine plus$2900 costs afteran apprenticefell from a roof atDandenong. Theyoung man spent12 days in hospi-tal and wentblind in his lefteye. The com-pany said it wasnot responsiblefor the loss ofsight.

Printed by StreamlinePress, 155 Johnston St,Fitzroy, for the publisher,Ash Long, for Local MediaPty Ltd, ABN 67 096 680063, of the registered

office of 30 Glen Gully Rd,Eltham, Vic 3095.

Page 10 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 11

Melbourne PeopleOpening Night

Dickens Womenwith Miriam Margoyles

Photos: Oliver Ballantyne

●●●●● Virginia Hill and Alan Pearsall ●●●●● Carolyn Masson and Donna Demaio

●●●●● Eileen Berry and Hari Raj ●●●●● Jen Rollings and Deb Withers

●●●●● Kevin Trask and daughter Fiona ●●●●● Therese Radic and Andrew McKinnon

●●●●● Sam Petersen and Britt Lewis●●●●● Miriam signing in the foyer after the show

■ Miriam Margolyes captivated Melbourne audiences atthe Playhouse Theatre last week with Dickens’ Women,her superb tribute to writer Charles Dickens’ 200th anniver-sary.

If you missed her show at The Playhouse, then Miriamwill be performing at the Frankston Arts Centre tonight(Mar. 7), Geelong Performing Arts Centre on March 9 and10 and Her Majesty’s Theatre, Ballarat on March 13, be-fore touring her show nationally and then worldwide.

Miriam and her co-writer/director, Sonia Fraser, haveselected and explored 23 of Dickens’ characters who arenot only colourful and entertaining, but were actually basedon real people in Dickens’ life.

Obviously passionate about Dickens and his works,Miriam presents a balanced overview by also reflecting onhis demonic side.

There could be no better performer than MiriamMargolyes to transform these characters into reality in acohesive show that engages audiences from start to finish.

Using her brilliant dual skills of storyteller and actor,Miriam can be sharing facets of Dickens’ life in a chat withher audience and then instantly transforms into one of hischaracters, with masterful use of voice, physicality andemotion.

Pianist John Martin beautifully creates mood through-out the show, and we are reminded of the source of thisliterary delight by a portrait of Charles Dickens overseeingthe production from above.

Producer Andrew McKinnon notes in the program thatDickens’ wish to travel to Australia did not eventuate in hislifetime, but his novels of course did reach our shores andare now regarded as literary classics.

How wonderful that in 2012, a consummate actor suchas Miriam Margolyes is regenerating interest and aware-ness in Dickens’ works by touring the world with Dickens’Women in this special anniversary year.

This is a theatre experience not to be missed.If you would like to see more of Miriam Margolyes, she

is also appearing as Aunt Prudence in the new ABC-TVdrama series Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, based onthe best-selling series by Kerry Greenwood and set in the1920s in Melbourne.

Performances: Frankston Arts Centre: March 7;Geelong Performing Arts Centre: March 9, 10; HerMajesty’s Theatre, Ballarat: March 13.

Tickets can be booked online on www.dickenswomen.com

- Review by Cheryl Threadgold

REVIEW

●●●●● Terry Norris and Julia Blake

●●●●● Miriam Margoyles in Dickens’ WomenPhoto: Prudence Upton

www.MelbourneObserver.com.auPage 12 - Melbourne Observer -Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Contents of Court Lists are intended for information purposes only. The lists are extracted fromCourt Lists, as supplied to the public, by the Magistrates’ Court of Victoria, often one week prior topublication date; for current Court lists, please contact the Court. Further details of cases areavailable at www.magistratescourt.vic.gov.au The Melbourne Observer shall in no event acceptany liability for loss or damage suffered by any person or body due to information provided. Theinformation is provided on the basis that persons accessing it undertake responsibility for assess-ing the relevance and accuracy of its content. No inference of a party’s guilt or innocence shouldbe made by publication of their name as a defendant. Court schedules may be changed at anytime for any reason, including withdrawal of the action by the Plaintiff/Applicant. E&OE.

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT COURT REPORTS

Thoughts For The Week■ “If some folks lost their reputation, tyhey shouldconsider themselves extremely lucky.”■ “The quickest way for a mother to get her children’sattention is to sit down and look comfortable.”

Observer Curmudgeon■ “If you leave the smallest corner of your head va-cant for a moment, other people’s opinions will rushin from all quarters.” - George Bernard Shaw

Text For The Week■ “Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilder-ness to be tempted[a] by the devil. After fasting fortydays and forty nights, he was hungry. The temptercame to him and said, “If you are the Son of God,tell these stones to become bread.” Jesus answered,“It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, buton every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

- Matthew 4: 1-4

ObserverTreasury

ObserverMelbourne

The Best Columnists

Long Shots

with Ash Long, Editor

editor@ melbourneobserver.com.au

“For the cause that lacks assistance,‘Gainst the wrongs that need resistance

For the future in the distance,And the good that we can do”

SHAME ON YOU, YUMI■ Network 10 disgraceditself when it allowedCircle co-host YumiStynes to go to air, withslurs against AussieVictoria Cross winner CplBen Roberts Smith.

Stynes questioned theintelligence and sexualprowess of the war hero.She explained it away asa “joke”.

Her apology was con-ditional ... “if we have of-fended”. Any apologywith the with ‘if’ is no apol-ogy at all.

Next day, co-host GorgiCoghlan compounded theinsult: “Apologies havebeen made. We want toend it there.”

Not good enough,Yumi. Not good enough,Gorgi. Not good enough,producer Pam Barnes.Not good

Free reader ads are available in the Melbourne Trader section of the ‘Melbourne Observer’

●●●●● Yumi Stynes (The Circle, Channel 10)

Look out!■ The inner-thoughts ofAustralian TV ‘king’Graham Kennedy are re-vealed in a collection ofhis letters published forthe first time in this week’sObserver.

But be warned, the‘King’ had a vulgartongue (and pen), so if badlanguage is not for you,please avoid Pages 25-28,and Pages 45-46.

Porch Thoughts

●●●●● Donna Demaio

●●●●● From Page 4

Branagh and John Travolta have also been rather spe-cial.

The 3AW on-line Donna Demaio Gossip Sheet hasa massive following, what was the inspiration behindthis concept?

I attend so many exciting and interesting events andthe Gossip Sheet allows me to make observations, in-form and spread the 'goss' further to any live reports orcrosses. Also, it allows me to include insights on eventsand people that might not be covered on air. It's a wayof embracing another form of media.

How do you mostly source news and gossip for thesite?

I love gathering my ‘quote of the week’ because itcan be quite quirky. At events, I 'work' the room whichmeans I chat to mates, colleagues, stars and so on ...and find out what's happening in everyone's world.

I am fortunate enough to be offered some amazinginterviews - "Would you like to chat with Bob Geldof?"was the most recent offer.

If you could invite anyone to the train platformwho would it be and why?

I would love to share a drink, whether it be a cup oftea or a whisky, with Clint Eastwood. He is the sameage as my dad. I remember watching Eastwood's spa-ghetti westerns with my father and ever since he hasintrigued me as an actor and as a human being.

I believe he would have some fascinating views onthe world. I could be wrong but I'm still hoping to findout either way.

What will be your next tweet on Twitter?Whatever I deem interesting enough. I won't be

tweeting what I'm having for dinner ... oh ... unless it'sat a splendid restaurant and I want to share my excite-ment and a twitter picture.

What is your 'Porch Thought of The Day’?"Be good to people (even the annoying, self-absorbed

woman who butts in the queue at the local supermarketdeli). Be patient. Be interested in others. Be true toyourself. "

- Mark Richardson

Who was yourfavourite celebrity inter-view and why?

That's like choosingyour favourite child. I en-joyed chatting to my ado-lescent music hero AdamAnt; meeting JamieOliver (delightful andgenuine); sitting on the lapof Samuel L Jackson fora photo and being eye-balled by Tommy LeeJones in one of my firstfilm chats.

Tete a tete's with Sa-rah Jessica Parker,Willem Dafoe, Kenneth

●●●●● Cpl BenRoberts Smith VC

Our Doors are Open!

To find out more about Freemasonry, howto become a member, or attend

upcoming public events, please visitwww.freemasonsvic.net.au or 'Like' our

Facebook page, www.facebook.com/freemasonsvic

On Friday March 9, the CBD Luncheon will takeplace on the Ground Floor of Grand Lodge withguest speaker, Dr Kathy Alexander CEO of the Cityof Melbourne.

Dr Alexander will speaking on the topic,"Planning for Future Growth".

"This is a subject that is very close to our heartat Freemasons Victoria," says Peter Henshall, GrandSecretary of Freemasons Victoria.

"All of our Grand Masters have been distinguishedmen with a real passion for the state of Victoriaand indeed many Victorian Freemasons haveplayed a major role in the infrastructure anddevelopment of Melbourne," says Peter.

The list includes well-known names such as SirDallas Brooks, Victorian Grand Master between1951-1963 and the longest serving VictorianGovernor, and John Connell who played animportant role in the planning of the City Loopunderground train line.

"These remarkable men were proud Victoriansand certainly proud to be a Freemason," says Peter."They've left behind a lasting legacy that changedthe face of our city forever."

It's no secret that the 170-year-old membershiporganisation is often clouded in mystery with manywondering what goes on behind close doors buton Monday March 12, you'll be able to see foryourself what goes on, as the Masonic Centre opensits doors for the Freemasons Victoria Open Day.

"We'll be putting the Labor Day holiday to gooduse," says Erin Olsen, Freemasons Victoria EventManager.

"The Open Day is a great opportunity for thepublic to come and enjoy a fun day out with thewhole family, and of course, perhaps have a fewquestions answered," says Erin.

The day's activities include Freemason-led toursof the Lodge rooms every hour, a vintage car andmotorcycle display, children's activities, and livemusic.

A BBQ will also be hosted by Monash GullyLodge with proceeds going to charity. The eventwill be held rain, hail or shine - or in Melbourne'scase, maybe all three - so head down to 300 AlbertStreet, East Melbourne for what promises to be afun day for all.

The CBD Luncheon will be held at the MasonicCentre, 300 Albert St, East Melbourne on March 9at 12.30pm.

Tickets cost $55 and includes a two-coursemeal with drinks. For more information or to book,please contact Erin Olsen on 9411 0111.

The Open Day will be held at the Masonic Centreand is a free event, open to the public.Next week's column: The March Masonic

Month of Celebration continues.

●●●●● Freemasons Victoria opens its doorson March 12

Our Doors are Open!As the Masonic Month of Celebration

continues, Freemasons Victoria hosts theCBD Luncheon and Open Day

&SharpShort

■■■■■ Sheep worth more than $12,000 have been sto-len from a Clarkefield farmer. The sheep were notbranded and had no specific markings.

■■■■■ The Taco Truck is back on Rucker’s Hill,Northcote, after Darebin Council overturned its banon the food van. The operator is not allowed tooperate within 50 metres of similar traders.

■■■■■ The City of Whitehorse, which covers Box Hilland Nunawading, is owed more than $50 million inoutstanding rates from local householders.

■■■■■ Melton cafe La Headquarters, operated by LAHQ Pty Ltd, has been fined $6000 for workplacebullying. Four female employees complained theywere bullied by a chef and part-owner. The bullyingincluded swearing, shouting and gesticulating an-grily.

■■■■■ St Andrews Hotel, north-east of Melbourne, hasgone into voluntary administration.

■■■■■ Former nurse, Margaret Pozzobin, 58, has wona $500,000-plus payout from a Wantirna facility.

Respect■ Channel 10 mightnot understand re-spect for our soldiers,but it certainly under-stands the bottom line.

Circle sponsorSwisse Vitamins with-drew its ads from theshow following YumiStynes’ comments.

Mirvac Hotels,which provides ac-commodation at TheComo Hotel for Circleguests , is reviewingits association, anddemanded that its logobe withdrawn from theTV show’s website.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 13

Bennetts Boots - Marketing

Designthatworks

Bennetts Boots designer Amanda Tallent,developed a range of designer wide calfboots without the ugly elastic or extenderflaps that are so common in boots today.

For those who don't have wide calves it'sdifficult to understand how annoying it isnot to fit into the average boot. Frustrationis caused by the badly designed boots thatstretch out of shape, look and feel yuck!(Technical term meaning uncomfortableand ugly).

This is whatt prompted Tallent to start herown line that is now an international suc-cess.

With no boot designing skills and a burn-ing desire to get quality boots that fit Tallentfound a promising pattern designer and hadher trained under ‘Master Shoe Makers’ inthe art of making wider calved boots thatfitted.

The skill was in designing a boot thatlooked and felt good as well as balancedso they could be put on display in our storeswithout tipping over.

The design elements don't stop there.Bennetts Boots make sure that all the calfwidths look good on, with three differentcalf widths going up to 55cm in diametertheir aim is always to have a fashionableboot that makes the wearer look taller andslimmer.

I'm justly proud of what we haveachieved and on a recent trip to the USA itwas pointed out that in the niche market ofwide calf boots, Bennetts Boots is a worldleader, not only in range but in design.

The extra cost invested into the designelement of the wider calved boot has paidoff with the average Bennetts Boots cus-tomer owning 3+ pairs of boots and madetheir now team of designers, most likely, thebest in the world in wide calf boots design.

Bennetts Boots are being approachedand in negotiations with brands who havetried to do wider calved boots and failed.

The customer of today doesn't except apair of boots just because it fits, they de-mand it to fit right, look good and feel com-fortable. You give them anything less andyou will be like many of the brands we arenow dealing with, stuck with a heap of bootsthat no-one wants.

As a small business this focus on designis why Bennetts Boots have survived andcontinue to grow rapidly here in Australiaand across the world.

Get your own pair of designer boots atwww.BennettsBoots.com or pop into ourstore at 39 Bridge Rd, Richmond, Vic.

MAD, MAD MONTH OF MARCH

Page 14 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

News

Briefs

ObserverMelbourne

Life & Style

Yvonne’s Column

with Yvonne Lawrence

yvonne.lawrence@bigpond.com

Melbourne Observationswith Matt Bissett-Johnson

■ It couldn’t be anything else, but the mad, mad, monthof March.

The shambles in our Federal Parliament in the lastcouple of weeks with the negative, unruly, and often-dishonest behaviour of some of the MP’s is the likes ofwhich I’ve never seen in all my years of followingpolitics.

I always enjoyed watching Parliament each day onABC1, but lately the nastiness has been almost too much,and I wished I’d had a magic wand, to make themdisappear so we could start afresh.

And now the Prime Minister has been caught outyet again, telling another big fib!

Don’t get too comfortable Prime Minister. You mayhave won the current battle, but you won’t win the war.

Perhaps it was the hot and very uncomfortableweather that caused tempers to run largely unchecked.

How can we budget?■ For the first time for ages I felt scared when going toan appointment and travelling in the car. It was terrify-ing with cars speeding, tailgating, the two fingers out ofthe drivers window when the driver thought that youwere not going fast enough, or, worse, upsetting thedrivers when you slow down to the correct speed whenpassing a school.

The hot weather added to the worry of the electric-ity bill getting out of control and made people terrifiedto turn on their air-conditioning, or even an electric fancausing more discomfort and especially for our elderlysenior citizens.

Having just pulled out a fistful of bills from theletterbox on a day of over 40 degrees I was left gaspingwhen I saw how everything had jumped up since lastmonth.

How are we supposed to budget on a fixed incomewhen every month the cost of running a householdincreases?

Telemarketers persist■ And I’m filled with angst at the thought of how costswill sky rocket when the carbon tax kicks in, comeJuly.

Already we have been told to prepare for highercosts from several companies when fees will rise be-cause of the carbon tax.

Remember the promise that we are all going to becompensated? The promise didn’t lull me into a falsesense of security.

From past experience of Government promises wewill always end up behind the eight ball. Despite thefact that the PM will try and convince us that we will beso much better off.

I’d be delighted to be proven wrong.And while I’m having a bit of a whinge, I thought

that the annoying phone calls from call centres were nolonger permitted.

Only charities could cold call asking for a donation.Well, they haven’t stopped. A few have disreguardedthe rules and are sneaking in calls.

Charity begins at home■ Trying to keep cool the other day and staying in onespot so as not to disturb the hot air, I was continuallyanswering the phone to discover it was either a politicalsurvey, a funeral home asking me to pay a monthlyamount so that my funeral expense wouldn’t cause myhusband any hardship.

How do they know who is going first? Do they havesome knowledge to which I’m not privy?

How does ‘charity’ form any part of these calls?And these calls didn’t come during the day either.I try, and am polite, but it seems that lately, I’ve been

up against some very aggressive persons on the end ofthe phone; I’ve been subjected to the ‘F’ word and evena ‘raspberry’ down the line.

My husband just laughed and told me that if I don’tmake conversation with them I wouldn’t be on the endof their abuse. “Hang up”, he said.

One piece of information cooled me down though,and that was an e-mail from Ken Lyons, a colleagueand friend telling me how to avoid those frustratingconversations when you can’t understand the person atthe call centre somewhere abroad.

It’s anyone’s guess where the centre is situated.

Transferred to Australia■ Ken had heard me relating my frustrating experi-ence trying to understand a telephonist in India, and notsound racist when I kept asking that he repeat what hewas saying because I couldn’t understand, and finallyhanging up in frustration without my query being an-swered.

It appears we have the right to speak to an Austra-lian telephonist when we call a service, whether it is atelephone query, bank account or credit card, when youcan’t communicate with the person on the other endbecause of a language barrier.

Instead of steam coming out of your ears and noselike a dragon when you can’t understand the person,politely, very politely, stressed Ken (it’s not about trash-ing other cultures), simply say, “ I’d like to speak to acustomer service person in Australia”.

The rep. may suggest you talk with his manager, butagain, politely say,’ Thank you, but I’d like to speak to acustomer service person in Australia.”

I tried this, and joy oh bliss, I was immediately con-nected to a rep in Australia. It only took a few secondsto have my call redirected.

Ask for an Aussie■ Ken went on to say that if every Australian citizenrequested an Australian rep, how much it would im-pact on the number of extra Australian positions thatneeded to be filled.

Remember, wrote Ken, the goal is to restore jobsback here at home, not to be abrupt or rude to a for-eigner.

Well, that goes without saying Ken, but having triedit, and finding that it did indeed work, I’m ecstatic.

Imagine, if tomorrow, every Australian citizen re-quested an Australian rep, how it would impact on thenumber of extra jobs available to Australians.

Just think what would happen if say tomorrow, ev-ery Australian citizen, insisted on only talking to anAustralian operator.

It would be like sticking your head out of the windowas Peter Finch did in that famous film, and yelling out tothe world “ I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going totake it anymore”.

Ken suggested that we spread the word so that ourfrustration will be a thing of the past.

Enjoying Indian summers■ I must say, that I’m never too thrilled when I’ve rungmy bank with a problem and I’m put on hold waiting totalk to an operator, and it turns out to be a call centre.

I liked to think that it was a bank employee sitting ata phone, ready, willing and able to assist me. But it isn’talways like that.

I’m always on guard when the operator asks mewhere I’m ringing from, or some such question, and it’salways in another State, not Victoria where she/he op-erates.

Having my bank details going all over the countrydoesn’t fill me with confidence, and especially nowthat the banks are sending Australian bank staff over-seas to train people in call centres to fill the positionsformerly held by local Australians.

All to drag in a bigger share of the almighty dollarfor their shareholders.

But meantime, try the above. It will save your bloodpressure from blowing out.

But hey! The weather has turned cool and I’m atpeace with the world.

I’m looking forward to another of Melbourne’s glo-rious ‘Indian summers’.

Autumn is my all time favourite season inMelbourne. Here’s hoping.

- Yvonne. Contact: Melbourne Observer,P.O. Box 1278, Research 3095

Radio 3WBC 94.1FM,Box 159, Box Hill 3128

Next?

●●●●● Steve Bracks

■ Former NSWPremier BobCarr has just re-ceived a ‘job forthe boys’ beingappointed by PMJulia Gillard asForeign AffairsMinister.

Ex-VictorianPremier SteveBracks alreadyhold severalcomfortable ap-pointments.

Will he soonadd another bigCanberra job tohis portfolio?

Penalty

■ Trade QuipPty Ltd has beenp e n a l i s e d$100,000 by theFederal Courtfor supplyinghydraulic trolleyjacks that did notcomply with theprescribed con-sumer productsafety standard.

Winners■ RMIT Univer-sity fashiongraduates havetaken seven ofthe 12 spots in anational compe-tition to join the2012 L’OréalM e l b o u r n eFashion Festi-val.

The NationalGraduate Show-case is now in itsfourth year andfeatures an im-pressive line-upof graduate de-signers fromacross the coun-try.

The event willbe held on Tues-day, (Mar. 13), at6.30pm at Penin-sula, CentralPier, Docklandsand provides aplatform to ex-hibit their work.

Just Briefly■ A fundraising concert is being presetedby the Carmelite Centre on Saturday, March31, at 6pm, to raise money for the BrigidineAsylum Seeker Project. The concert will bestaged at St Joseph's Church, Cnr Rouse andStokes Sts, Port Melbourne. www.thecarmelitecentremelbourne.org

■ The Melbourne production of Love NeverDies was shown on 900 movie screens inAmerica over the weekend.

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 15www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Page 16 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Seniors News

Retire close to family!

Ever considered a Granny Flat?

Private, Close and Convenient

Teens need space?

A Bungalow in the backayd is the

perfect retreat

FREEBUILDING PERMIT

AND FLOORCOVERINGSUPGRADE

GRANNY FLATS - BUNGALOWS - HOME EXTENSIONS

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 17www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Homemaker

Melbourne Metro Area Only

CountrCountrCountrCountrCountry y y y y VVVVVictorictorictorictorictoriaiaiaiaia

DistrDistrDistrDistrDistributors/Installers/ibutors/Installers/ibutors/Installers/ibutors/Installers/ibutors/Installers/

Resellers RquiredResellers RquiredResellers RquiredResellers RquiredResellers Rquired

Call 1-800 27 22 27

for more information

Page 18 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Going Away for Easter?Need someone to mind the pets,

check the house,water the garden?

Don't worryMaking Time has you coveredAt Making Time we specializein exactly that - Making Time

With pet and homes services designed to give you timeback everyday and let you go on holidays without worry.Making Time makes life easier at a very reasonable price.We can walk and check your pets everyday. From horsesto rats and everything inbetween, we are happy to help.You will get updates on your house and pets whilst youraway via our 'Pet Text' service, so you can relax knowing

your furry friends and your home are in safe hands.

As well as our holiday and pet services we have anumber of services available for those 'one off'

occasions. Want the house cleaned after you move, orbefore you move in, got a rental inspection coming up?

Not a problem our team of professionals are here to help.All of our staff have current police checks, working withchildren's checks and have passed Pet First Aid Courses .

Our services includePet ServicesDog Walking

Pet SittingVet Visits

Holiday Minding (no more expensive boarding fees)

House ServicesHouse SittingMail CollectedPlants Watered

House Moving Cleaning

With services starting from as little as $30 an hour, why not call us on 0417 213 675 or

1300 527 034 today and start Making Time for the fun things in your life.

www.makingtime.com.au

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 19www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne Buying Guide

Mattresses Galore

Mattresses GaloreCnr High St & Tooronga Rd, Malvern, 3144

Phone: (03) 9822 9057. Fax: (03) 9822 9821www.mattressesgalore.com.auinfo@mattressesgalore.com.au

FREE DELIVERYMelbourne Metroand Peninsula

open mon - fri 9am - 5 pmsaturday 9am - 4pm, sunday 10am-4pm

Mattresses Galore supply a wide rangeof homeware products including;

Beds, MattressesBedroom Furniture, Manchester

Page 20 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Antiques and Collectables

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 21www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Antiques & CollectablesMarch 2012

THE COLLECTORS’ NEWSPAPER

Published MonthlyPhone: (03) 9439 7070

SCOTS HERITAGEHONOURED

For Collectors

YOUR GUIDE TO ‘ANTIQUES & COLLECTABLES’ IN VICTORIA

Now, Every Month!

Phone 9439 7070

Business Card Size Ad50mm height x62mm width

Only $31.25Order a package of 8 monthly ads fora total of $250. We will also give you

a FREE $40 weekly listing in theMelbourne Trader Classifieds.

The Melbourne Observer news-paper is publishing a new,monthly Antiques and Collect-ables section.

You can promote yourbusiness to 55,000 potentialcustomers with a businesscard-size ad, for just $31.25per month.

This DISCOUNT rate is avail-able when you order apackage of 8 monthly ads.

Antiques & CollectablesAntiques and Collectables freatures will be published in the firstweek of each month from February 2012.

Advertisers will receive a free weekly classified ad listing inthe Melbourne Trader section of the Melbourne Observer, plus afree website listing.

For more details, contact Ash Long

COME INAND

LOOK!

COBURGHILLANTIQUESOpen Tue-Sun11am-5pm

103 Holmes StBrunswick East

Ph 9383 5743It’s A Pleasure!

Free Quoteson

FurnitureRestoration

Clock RepairsBARGAINS GALORE

Camberwell Antique Centre25-29 Cookson Street, Camberwell

Opposite Camberwell Station

9882 2028 0418 586 764Open seven days, 10am - 5pm

Over fifty dealers in antiques and collectables.Large selection of furniture, Carlton-ware, Moorcroft,

Australian pottery, Wedgwood, jewellery, sportingmemorabilia, toys and much more

And we buy - single items, collections,house lots or deceased estateswww.camberwellantiquecentre.com.au

CASH PAIDALL SUBURBSAntiques, Bric-a-brac

CHINA, GLASS, JEWELLERY,FURNITURE, CLOCKS, TOYS,

LIGHTS, SILVER, POSTCARDS,AUSTRALIANA, BOXED

CUTLERY, LINEN & LACEHOUSE LOTS, ANY SIZE

Wanted To BuyDESPERATELY SEEKING

BRIGHTONSue 9592 9735■ A select field of elite Scottish heavy games

athletes will compete in the Australian SouthPacific Heavy Games, to be hosted by theGeelong Highland Gathering, on Sunday,March 18. In addition to the upgraded heavy games,the Gathering is hoping that it will receive ap-proval to re-introduce Scottish hammer throw-ing which, along with caber tossing was one ofthe favourite heavy events. Two New Zealand competitors have beenattracted, Pat Hellier, who has competed in Scot-land for the past 10 years and is ranked in theworld's top 10 heavy games athletes and PeterMayne, from Whangarei, who has been chal-lenging Pat for the past three years for the NewZealand title. Organiser Bill Binks, who has been involvedin heavy games for decades both as a competi-tor and organiser, believes the event can be builtto become Australia's top heavy games attrac-tion. Bill and former world caber tossing cham-pion, Colin Matheson were involved in manylegendary battles of strength back in the 1960sand 1970s. Other competitors include Craig Reid, fromNewcastle, New South Wales, who has beenAustralia's foremost heavy games competitorfor the past 10 years and who has also com-peted in New Zealand and Scotland. Also competing will be young giant LukeReynolds, who stands 203 cm tall and weighs150 kg, who has been making his presence felton the Australian circuit for the past five yearsand competed successfully in New Zealand lastyear. Jessie Coutts, who hails from Apollo Bayand whose family still lives there, will add alocal flavour and will be very competitive hav-ing won two shot putt events last year and com-ing in second in two weight events. James Graham, from Edinburgh, is the onlyScots-born competitor to date and he has shownimprovement as he has gained more experience,with close second placings in events on the Vic-torian circuit in 2011 and 2012. The Gathering, which will be opened by theGovernor of Victoria, Alex Chernov , at 1.30pm,on Sunday, March 18, at the GeelongShowgrounds, will also be expanded to Satur-day, March 17. The Saturday, which will be restricted to solopiping and drumming and a mini pipe band com-petition, will be a free day. The Sunday will see the full range of tradi-tional Highland gathering events, pipe bandcompetitions, massed pipes and drums, the Aus-tralian South Pacific Heavy Games, Highlanddancing competitions, Scottish Country danc-ing displays, Scottish military re-enactmentgroups, martial arts swordsmanship, Scottishdogs breed show and displays of Scottish ani-mals. There will also be clan and other tents, ge-nealogy and a fair and market with Scottishfoods, drinks and souvenirs. To add to the family atmosphere the children'sevents have been expanded, with “Wee HeavyGames” being introduced, a Highland passport,to be stamped at all children's activities, and aCommando rope bridge as well as the normal

Collection givento State Library

■ The Dromkeen Board of Gover-nors, Scholastic Australia has pre-sented the State Library of Victoriawith the entire collection of theDromkeen National Centre for Pic-ture Book Art.

The internationally significantDromkeen Scholastic Collection ofChildren’s Book Art consists of ap-proximately 7500 original artworksand illustrations from prepublicationmaterial of many of Australia’s best-loved children’s books.

The collection also includes a his-torical book collection, six bronzesculptures of picture book charactersand the Dromkeen archive.

Premier and Minister for the Arts,Ted Baillieu, said the donation was ‘aremarkable gift to the people ofVictoria’.

The Dromkeen National Centre forPicture Book Art collection wasfounded by Courtney and JoyceOldmeadow at the historic ‘Drom-keen’ homestead in Riddell’s Creekin 1973.

petting zoo, jumping castle and face-painting. Entry on Sunday will be: Family, $30; adult.$12; Concession, $10; under-16, $5 and under-five, free. Further information can be obtained atwww.geelonghighland gathering.org.au

●●●●● Victorian Governor Alex Chernovwill open the Gathering at Geelong

HOPES GOR GEELONJG HIGHLAND GATHERING

If I were a building - I'd be condemned.At night everything either comes off or out.In the early 1960s she toured in stage pro-

ductions such as Dark At The Top of the Stairs,Wonderful Town and Happy Birthday.

In 1965 Phyllis divorced her husband and amonth later married Warde Donovan, the mar-riage lasted for 10 years.

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

■ Phyllis Diller is unstoppable. This cleverAmerican comedienne is still active at the ageof 95.

Phyllis started out as a pianist, got married,raised a family and re-invented herself as acomic, bringing joy and laughter to millions offans for more than 50 fifty years.

Phyllis Ada Driver was born in Lima, Ohioin 1917 and was an only child. At primary schooland college Phyllis practised her comedy onher fellow students.

After graduating from college in 1935 sheattended Chicago's Sherwood Music Conser-vatory hoping to become a concert pianist. Shewent to University where she met SherwoodDiller and they married in 1939.

Their first child was born in 1940. Whilst rais-ing an increasing family (Phyllis had six chil-dren) she worked as an advertising copywriterand continuity writer at a radio station.

During the evenings Phyllis appeared at ama-teur engagements as a ‘stand up’ comedienne.

She was a contestant on the television quizshow You Bet Your Life, hosted by GrouchoMarx. Phyllis said in later life that she was pet-rified.

When Groucho asked her if she was mar-ried Phyllis replied "Yes, I've worn a weddingring for 18 years now."

To which Groucho snapped, "Really, oh well,two more payments and it'll be all yours."

Her big break came when Phyllis got an en-

WhateverHappened

To ...PhyllisDiller

By Kevin Traskof 3AW and 96.5 Inner FM

Page 22 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012

●●●●● Phyllis Diller

In 1970 she played Dolly Levi in Hello Dollyon Broadway and surprised the critics with herfine singing voice.

Phyllis toured Australia many times and ap-peared on television shows. She was a regularon The Don Lane Show and was a special gueston the very last show in 1983.

Phyllis underwent plastic surgery for the firsttime at the age of 55 and used it in her comedyroutines along with references to her husband‘Fang’.

In 1999 Phyllis suffered a heart attack andhad a pacemaker fitted.

She announced her official retirement in 2002.Several months ago Phyllis attended a Blue Rib-bon Holiday Party at the famous Bel Air Hoteland is in good health.

Phyllis Diller did not get into showbusinesstill her mid thirties and made the world laughwith her zany comedy.

You just had to look at her in her wigs andoutlandish costumes and she would make youlaugh - one of the great ‘stand up’ comics of ourtime.

- Kevin TraskThe Time Tunnel - with Bruce & Phil-

Sundays at 8.30pm on 3AWThat's Entertainment - 96.5FM

Sundays at 12 Noon96.5FM is streaming on the internet.

To listen, go to www.innerfm.org.au andfollow the prompts.

RED TAPE KILLS RED CENTRE TOURISM■ What with the high Australian dol-lar and the current overseas economicsituation, Australian tourism needs asmuch positive assistance as it can get.

And particularly the NT, which isexperiencing a dramatic downturn .

My mate Chris Chambers re-cently collated data to show that visitsto the Rock peaked in 2001, at about400,000. By 2010 this had diminishedto about 300,000.

So the Rock, and the Centre gen-erally, need all the positive promo-tional help they can get!

A couple of instances have recentlytended in just the opposite direction.

Firstly, a crew recently planned tofilm a leg of Amazing Race at the Rock.

One can imagine the world-wideaudience this would have reached!

So, what happened?The Federal Department of

Sustainability, Environment, Water,Population and Community informedthem that they needed 28 days to pro-cess the application, and the timeframe had run out.

"It was too short notice, we havelimited resources, and we have some-one on leave."

So the request was declined, andAmazing Race went elsewhere.

You'd think that even bureaucracywould recognise that Australia shouldjump at every opportunity to tell itswonders to an overseas tourist mar-ket. All free, too.

No such luck!

■ And then an incident in Alice itselfwhich occurred last month, but aboutwhich I needed all the details beforesharing.

News Ltd journalist JoeHildebrand and 10 film crew werefilming an SBS documentary, Dumb,Drunk and Racist, investigating theperceptions of Australians which In-dian people hold.

So they were filming some Indi-ans walking around Alice, when theywere accosted by a couple whoshowed indignation at their activities.

The crew explained that they werefilming the town and not them, but thisdidn't placate the lady.

Shortly thereafter a couple of in-ebriated ladies joined the fray, attack-ing a cameraman, grabbing his equip-ment and throwing rocks at them - "onethe size of a mango!"

So the crew beat a hasty retreat tothe Aurora Hotel, where the staffsaved one of them who was being at-

Lightning Ridge Opals175 Flinders Lane,

MelbournePhone 9654 4444www.opals.net.au

TheOutbackLegend

with Nick Le Souef

tacked and dragged away by thewomen. They then entered the hotellobby and attacked the staff." The incident will feature prettyprominently, but we're going out of ourway to counter-balance the negativeimages," Joe said.

Just what Alice needs right now -more evidence to illustrate its currentreputation for anti-social activity!

■ My mate Phil Howe has just re-turned from Alice. He's the officialphotographer and painter for CricketAustralia, and he's been portraying theImparja Cup via his own two chosenmedia.

The Cup is a cricket extravaganzawhich proceeds for week on all thelocal ovals.

It invites indigenous teams from ev-ery state, from every major Territorytown, and from communities far andwide, from Yuendumu to the Tiwi Is-lands.

And a great competition is the re-sult, with all the teams playing againsteach other. It's in the 20-20 format forquick results and a better spectacle.

Cricket Australia has been support-

ive for the last six years, and the wholeoperation is somewhat akin to the AFLpolicy of recruiting indigenous play-ers for their sport.

They supply equipment to outlyingcommunities, encouraging them todevelop their skills.

This is already bearing fruit, withsome promising players stepping upto the crease.

At the end of the competition a ‘Su-per Squad’ is chosen to go on to big-ger and better achievements. In pastyears they've played in the UK, andthis year they're off to PNG.

Such luminaries as MatthewHayden and Jason Gillespie travelledup this year, to the delight of all theparticipants.

So Phil records all this - a greatachievement and wonderful encour-agement to these eager youngsters!

■ It can't be Alice without a snake storyor two!

My oft-mentioned mate, RexNeindorf, the local official snake-catcher, has, as usual, been out andabout.

He's reported that, because of thecooler nights, numbers haven't beenso high.

"I usually catch 70 to 100 everyFebruary, but it's only been 50 thisyear." They're usually WesternBrowns, the ninth deadliest snake inthe world.

However, the weather's warmingup and he expects more action. Hewas callsd out to one property a coupleof days ago to catch one snake, butended up with three

And then there was Karl Piel, a lo-cal performer in Alice Springs, whodoes a few ‘snake shows’ for tourists.

He had his two Carpet Pythons,Ruby and Soul, in his backpack lastweek. He briefly left it unattended, butunfortunately upon his return it hadbeen stolen.

It was subsequently recovered, butunfortunately Soul had expired. Theother was loose, but captured, and ingood health.

A bit of a shock for the thief, I'dreckon.

■ More natural ‘plagues’ for the TopEnd! Firstly, it's bats. About 300,000have descended on Katherine.

Nothing can be done as they areare indigenous creatures, and there-fore protected by the laws of the land.

So everyone just has to sit around

and wait till the eat all the branches ofthe mahogany trees, and they'll leave,taking their fecal reeking with them.

This reminds me of a similar situ-ation in Mataranka a few years ago

when about a million of them took tothe local trees.

The only solution was for the lo-cals to enlist the aid of the local Ab-origines, who were allowed to cullthem.

So, .22s were unsheathed, and theslaughter began. They shot eight bats,and got bored with it all!

That didn't work!And then there was a massacre of

Cane Toads last week in a little lakebeside the Darwin Golf Course.

About 60,000 baby toadlets werehopping about at the lake shore, wherethey like to gather to keep themselvesmoist.

This was an opportunity for the lo-cal Frogwatch volunteers, so theyswooped in and scooped them all up.

Some were sprayed with a bleachmix - death in half a second; the reststraight into the special Frogwatchfreezer, awaiting appropriate disposal.

That worked!- Nick Le Souef

‘The Outback Legend’

From The Outer

With John Pasquarelli

ObserverMelbourne

kojak@mmnet.com.au

■ Labor's spindoctors have smoke coming out of their backsides asthey try to pretend that what we have all seen and heard didn't happen.

The searing venom, vitriol and personal abuse has become 'aleadership debate' and there have been lots of tears and tremblinglips.

I'll call for the chuck bucket if another politician tells us that he orshe entered politics to 'give something back' and what a strain politicsis on their family life.

Lots of us have to spend time away from home here and abroadpursuing business and other activities and let's not forget our defenceforce personnel so MPs should stop whingeing and just get on with itor resign as Arbib has done.

After slagging Rudd hell west and crooked before the leadershippoll, Gillard has now eulogised him, making one wonder just whatmakes this woman work.

As the lies and deceit tumble from her lips, it's no wonder that mostAustralians have utter contempt for most politicians and that is verysad indeed.

As for the Coalition, it's getting out and about as much as pos-sible. There's no votes to be won by sitting in the office or talking tomates.

- John Pasquarelli, kojak@mmnet.com.au

●●●●● Rex Neindorf

gagement at the famous Purple Onion night-club in San Francisco. She was so popular thather season was extended to eighty seven weeks.

This led to appearances on many of the popu-lar television shows and her fame spread inter-nationally.

She became a good friend of Bob Hope andappeared on his television shows.

Her film credits included Splendor In TheGrass, The Fat Spy, Boy Did I Get The WrongNumber, Eight On The Lam and The SunshineBoys.

Here are some examples of some of her greatone-liners

I never made Who's Who but I'm featured inWhat's That.

Observer Readers’ Club

Birthdays/Celebrations

THe Way We Were Melbourne Photo Flashback

Bumper Sticker

Join in our chat

IN PRINT:Read the MelbourneObserver every week.Buy at your newsagent,or by mail subscription.

FACEBOOK:Follow our updates, andpost your own coments atwww.facebook.com/MelbourneObserver

TWITTER:Follow our updates, andpost your own Tweets atwww.twitter.com/MelbourneObs

BY POST:Mail contributions toObserver Readers’ ClubPO Box 1278, Research,Vic 3095

FAX: 1-800 231 312E-MAIL: editor@

melbourneobserver.com.au

●●●●● Beef and Guinness Pie

Reader Recipes

Quote Of The WeekWord Of The Week

Life’s Lessons

●●●●● St Patrick's Day March, 1919. Boys from St Joseph's Boys School marchingalong a city street to the accompaniment of a drummer in the St Patrick's Dayparade. They are dressed in white shirts and shorts, short ties, long dark socksand boots. Each boy wears a cap and has a ribbon pinned to his shirt. There is alarge crowd of adult onlookers. Spencer's Old White Hart Hotel can be seen in thebackground. Photo courtesy: Collingwood Library

Trivia ChallengeAnswer:A rat

SLY GROG SELLERSBelfore the Mayor (Cr. McMahen), and Messrs.Beckett, Apps, and Foley, J's.P., at the FitzroyCourt on Tuesday, several sly grog set lers wereprosecuted.

Maud Strickland, of 3t George st., was pre-sented on six charges of having sold liquorwvithout .a license on Jan. 12th, 13th, and 1th.

Sub-Inspeccor Hartshorn conducted theprosecution in all the cases. Mr. P. Ridgeway,who appeared for the defence said, that subjectto ,he approval of the Bench, it had been ar-ranged between Mr. Hartshorn and hinmelfthat the defendant should plead guilty to the ,twocharges, and pay a fine of £25 on each charge,with £10 10s. costs, and tlhat the four. othercharges should be withdrawn,

Sub-Inspector Hartshorn said he had con-sented to what Mr. Ridgeway had proposed.

Plain-clothes .Constable Slallazoni said-That on Feb. 25th he arrested the defhdant ather house. In a wardrobe he found two bottlesof champagne and three bottles of ale

On the two charges the defendant was fined£50, with £10 10s. costs, and in default twomonths' im prisonrment.

Ellen Henry, of 202 Nicholson-st., was pre-sented on lour charges of selling liquor withouta license on Feb.. 24th and 25th.

No evidence was given. The' defendant' onthe two charges was fined £50, with £10 10ls.costs, in default two months’imprison iment. '

The two 'other charges were with drawn.Alice Courtney, an employee of the defendantin the previous case, was presented on twocharges of selling lihuor without at license onFeb. 11th. The defendant, was fined £25 with£5 5s. costs, and in; default one month's impris-onment

100 Years AgoThe Fitzroy City PressFriday, March 8, 1912

■ “Life shrinks or expands in direct proportionto one’s courage” - Anis Nin

■ Knucker - an imaginary being, which livesin water

■ You smell this when you suspect somethingis not quite right. ■ With St Patricks Day just around the corner

on March 17, an Observer reader has sent inthis Beef and Guinness Pie recipe, first pub-lished in Australian Good Taste, for six.Preparation Time: 35 minutesCooking Time: 220 minutesIngredients700g beef chuck (casserole) steak, cut into2.5cm pieces1 tbs olive oil200g bacon rashers, rind removed, coarselychopped1 brown onion, coarsely chopped70g (1/4 cup) tomato paste2 tbs plain flour1 x 440ml can Guinness beer250ml (1 cup) beef stock2 tsp chopped fresh thyme1 tbs brown sugar3 sheets (25 x 25cm) frozen ready-rolled butterpuff pastry, just thawed1 egg, lightly whiskedMethodSeason beef with salt and pepper. Heat oil in asaucepan over medium-high heat. Add half thebeef and cook for 3-4 minutes or until browned.Transfer to a bowl. Repeat with remaining beef.Reduce heat to medium-low. Add bacon andonion and cook, stirring, for 5 minutes or untilonion is soft. Reduce heat to low. Add tomatopaste and flour and cook, stirring, for 5 minutes.Gradually add Guinness, whisking until the mix-ture thickens.Add the beef, stock, thyme and sugar. Bring to asimmer over medium-high heat. Reduce heatto low. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 3 hours.Season with salt and pepper. Set aside to coolcompletely.Line 2 baking trays with non-stick baking pa-per. Use a round 11cm-diameter pastry cutter tocut 12 discs from the pastry. Place 1/3 cup ofbeef mixture in the centre of half the pastrydiscs. Top with the remaining pastry discs andpress edges together to seal. Place on the linedtrays. Brush with egg.Preheat oven to 220°C. Bake in oven, swappingtrays halfway through cooking, for 20 minutesor until golden. Serve.Notes: Time plan tip: Prepare this dish to theend of step 4 up to 1 day ahead. Cover andplace in the fridge. Continue from step 5, 30minutes before serving.

■ Excess is never too much in moderation

■ “For every failure, there’s an alternativecourse of action. You just have to find it. Whenyou come to a roadblock, take a detour.”

- Mary Kay Ash

■ Wednesday, March 7. Birthday honours forentertainer Maria Venuti today. Singer HansPoulson was born in Chelsea (Vic.), 67 yearsago. Mentone was the scene of the ‘crime’ whenfisherman Rex Hunt was born in 1949 (63). TVman Cameron Daddo was born in Melbournein 1965 (47).■ Thursday, March 8. Expect some magic asMelbourne entertainer Don Crawford turns 50today. Kieran of Walwa is 20. TV actor GerardKennedy turns 80; he was born in Melbourne in1932.■ Friday, March 9. Happy birthday to KeithMcGowan, currently in Queensland. His latefriend Laurie Allen was born on the same day in1944; Laurie died in 2002. Footballer TonyLockeett was born in Ballarat in 1966 (46).■ Saturday, March 10. Frank Howson, ofshowbiz fame, celebrates today. Chris Mass-ingham, of the Yea district, blows out the candlestoday. Legendary Geelong footballer Graham‘Polly’ Farmer is 77. TV reporter Bo Bailey(Silvagni) was born in Melbourne in 1970 (42).■ Sunday, March 11. Entertainer JohnnyYoung celebrates his birthday today (or is to-morrow?). Debbie of Ballarat is 54. ProfessorGeoffrey Blainey is 82. Australian author NancyCato was born in Adelaide in 1917; she diedaged 83 in 2000. Melbourne-born publisherRupert Murdoch is 81. Football identity SamKekovich is 62. Jill Farnham, wife of singerJohn, is 56.■ Monday, March 12. The happiest of birth-days to Denise Meikle of Horsham. Castingagent Liz Mullinar is 67 (1947). TV presenterSuzie Wilks is 42.■ Tuesday, March 13. Observer reader LeanneSinnamon of Braybrook is 41 today. Radio-TVman Geoff Cox was born in St Kilda in 1951(61).

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 23www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)A meeting that you have at this time can help you to make that all important crossoverin your career. Talks with an ex help you find closure over the past and you finallymove on.Taurus (Apr 21 - May 21)The normal pattern of your life appears to be disrupted and you may have to neglectyour usual chores. It will all be worth while though when you find out what luck this'inconvenience' brings.Gemini (May 22 - June 21)A change is indicated in your relationship with someone close to you. Don't commityourself to anything until you have checked the facts, as you are liable to be misled.Mars brings you an apology.Cancer (June 22 - July 23)You will have to be flexible today and make the most of your opportunities when theyoccur, as nothing will run to plan. Geminis hold the key to taking things to the next levelprofessionally.Leo (July 24 - Aug 23)New opportunities for financial gain are indicated this week for you, but don't rush intoanything without consulting a close one first. Fresh views to a long standing familyproblem come with confrontations tonight.Virgo (Aug 24 - Sept 23)Relatives appear to be more prominent than usual in your affairs. Your confidencereceives a boost from a new face who is soon to become a permanent part of your lifeand even your heart.Libra (Sept 24 - Oct 23)An old problem crops up again but the past experience should enable you to deal withit successfully. The people around you do not appear to be pulling their weight. Timeto do something about it.Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 22)A new project is forecast that should push you to show how hard you can work and howmuch you can impress superiors. Have confidence, I can assure you that you havewhat it takes to succeed.Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 21)Your need to know the ins and outs of others lives could well see you finding outsomething you wish you'd never heard. Careful Sagittarius, there are some thingswhich are better left unsaid.Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20)A new chapter of your life may take some time to get off the ground but is worthpersevering with. Good news concerning a business matter brightens up your day andmakes your hard work worthwhile.Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 19)Friends show you a different side to their character which may force you to questionwhether you still want them to be part of your life. Games in love are not worth playing.Don't go there.Pisces (Feb 20 - March 20)At work you have the opportunity to improve your position, so don't be too modest toshow what you can do. This could be the boost your career has needed. Flirtationsspell danger tonight, beware.

Your Stars with Christina La Cross

Just A Thought (Or Two)

■ People will forget what you said. People willforget what you did. But people will never forgethow you made them feel.■ “For the man who has everything ... a calen-dar to remind him when the payments are due’.

Page 24 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 More on Page 61

Community TheatreWith Cheryl Threadgold Observer

Melbourne

‘WAIT UNTIL DARK’ AT FRANKSTONSHOWS

MLOC: WITCHES OF EASTWICK

Cheryl Threadgold on 3AW■ Non-Pro Theatre columnist Cheryl Threadgold is heardweekly on 3AW Melbourne Overnight program hosted byAndrew McLaren. Cheryl presents a segment with the lat-est community theatre news at 12.45am Wednesdays.

●●●●● Henry II (Chris McLean) and estranged wifeEleanor of Aquitaine (Juliet Hayday) in The Lion inWinter. Photo: Patricia Tyler

■ Fab Nobs Theatre: Avenue Q March 16 - 31at The FabFactory, 33 Industry Place (Off Malvern Street), Bayswater.Bookings: 0401 018 846846 www.fabnobstheatre.com.au

■ Eltham Little Theatre: 10 Minute Play CompetitionPlayreading March 18 at 1.00pm. Auditions March 19, 20 at7.30pm at Eltham Performing Arts Centre, 1603 Main Rd., Re-search. Enquiries: 10minquickie@gmail.com

■ Beaumaris Theatre: To Kill a Mockingbird (by Harper Lee)March 16 -31 at Beaumaris Theatre, 82 Wells Rd., Beaumaris.Director: Robyn Morris. Tickets: $25/$22 9583 6896www.beaumaristheatre.com.au

ObserverShowbizObserverShowbiz

■ Frankston Theatre Group: Wait Until Dark (by FrederickKnott) Until March 10, 8 pm performances, 2pm matinee onMarch 10 at the George Jenkins Theatre, Monash Campus,McMahons Rd., Frankston. Director: David McCall. Tickets:$26.50, Conc. $24.50. Bookings: 9905 1111www.frankstontheatregroup.org.au

■ The Basin Theatre Group: Tuesdays With Morrie (by MitchAlbom and Jeffrey Hatcher) Until March 10 at The Basin The-atre, Doongalla Rd., The Basin. Director: Christine Grant. Tick-ets: $22. Bookings: 1300 784 668. www.thebasintheatre.org.au

■ Brighton Theatre Company: Albert Nobbs Until March 10,Tues-Sat at 8.00pm, at the Brighton Arts and Cultural Centre,Wilson St., Brighton. Director: Eric Heyes. Tickets: $20/$18.Bookings: 9589 0005. www.brightontheatreco.com

■ Frankston Theatre Group: Wait Until Dark (by FrederickKnott) Until March 10, 8 pm performances, 2pm matinee onMarch 10 at the George Jenkins Theatre, Monash Campus,McMahons Rd., Frankston. Director: David McCall. Tickets:$26.50, Conc. $24.50. Bookings: 9905 1111www.frankstontheatregroup.org.au

■ Cardinia Performing Arts Company: Little Shop of HorrorsUntil March 9 at the Cardinia Performing Arts Centre, LakesideBoulevard, Pakenham. Bookings: 0407 090354www.cardiniaperformingarts.com

■ Gemco Players: Wait Until Dark (by Frederick Knott) UntilMarch 17 at 19 Kilvington Drive, Emerald. 2.30pm matinees onMarch 11, 17. Director: Barry O'Neill. Tickets: $22/$20.www.gemcoplayers.org

■ Lilydale Athenaeum Theatre: Glorious (by Peter Quilter)March 7 - 24 at 8.30pm, 2.30pm matinee on March 28 at 39-41Castella St., Lilydale. Director: Doug Bennett. Bookings: 97351777. www.lilydaletc.com

■ 1812 Theatre: Round and Round the Garden (a comedy fromAlan Ayckbourn's Norman Conquests trilogy) March 8 - 31 atThe Bakery, 3 Rose St., Upper Ferntree Gully. Bookings: 97583964 or 0406 752067. www.1812theatre.com.au

■ Altona City Theatre: Aladdin the rock panto March 9, 16, 23at 7.30pm and March 10, 11, 17, 18, 24 at 2.00pm at Altona CityTheatre, 115 Civic Parade, Altona. Director: Scott Bradley;Musical Director: Jaxson McLennan; Choreographer Steph Jones.All tickets $7. Bookings: 0425 705 550.www.altonacitytheatre.com.au

■ The Mount Theatre: Art (by Yasmina Reza) March 9 - 31,8.00pm Fridays, Saturdays, 2.00pm matinees on Sundays at theMountview Theatre, 56 Smith St., Macedon. Bookings: 1300 463224 (10am-5pm Tues to Sat)

■ Sherbrooke Theatre Co. Inc: The Shoehorn Sonata March9, 10, 15, 16, 17, 22, 23 ,24 at 8.15pm, Sunday twilight matinéesMarch 11, 18 at 5.15pm at the Doncaster Playhouse, 679Doncaster Rd., Doncaster. Bookings:.1300 650 209www.sherbrooketc.org.au

■ Eltham Little Theatre: Don't Dress For Dinner (by MarcCamoletti) March 15 - 31 at 8pm, Thursday to Saturday, March23 at 2pm at the Eltham Performing Arts Centre, 1603 Main Rd.,Research. Director: Jonne Finnemore. Tickets: $20/$16. Book-ings: 9437 1574 www.elthamlittletheatre.org.au

■ Essendon Theatre Company: Caravan (by Colin Macdonald)March 15 - 24 at 8pm, Thursday - Saturday, plus 2pm matineeSunday at the Community Centre, 9 Bradshaw St., West Essendon(off Buckley St.). Bookings: 0422 029 483.www.essendontheatrecompany.com .

■ Encore Theatre: Rumors (by Neil Simon) March 16, 17, 22,23, 24, 29, 30, 31 at 8.00pm, March 18, 25 at 2.15pm at theClayton Community Centre theatrette, Cooke St., Clayton. Di-rector: Annie Blood. Tickets: $20 Full Price, $18 Concession,$15 Opening Night tickets. Bookings: 1300 739099www.encoretheatre.com.au

■ SLAMS: Hairspray March 23 - 31 at the Mahon Theatre,Aquinas College, Great Ryrie St., Ringwood. Tickets: $32/$28.Bookings: 9720 3205 www.slams.org.au

Heidelberg Theatre Co.

●●●●● Erin Keleher (Alexandra Spofford), Michael Young(Darryl Van Horne) and Lucy MacVicar (Jane Smart)rehearse for MLOC’s June production of The Witchesof Eastwick, to be presented at the Phoenix The-atre, Elwood. Photo: Jane Court

MELBOURNE PASSION PLAY

■ The 16th Melbourne Passion Play will be presented onPalm Sunday, April 1 at 1.30pm and on Good Friday, April 6at 10.00am at Ruffey Lake Park, Doncaster (enter ChurchRd. from King St., Doncaster).

Commencing in Rosebud in 1997, the Melbourne PassionPlay is now seen by many thousands of Victorians from allwalks of life each year, performed by a large cast of volun-teer performers, under the direction of Robert Durai.

The Melbourne Passion Play is a non-commercial, non-denominational, free public event. Visit the website for moreinformation www.passionplay.info

■ Heidelberg Theatre Company’s latest production TheLion In Winter is a great example of high quality local the-atre shows holding their own in any performance arena.

This outstanding production can be seen until March 10 at36 Turnham Avenue, Rosanna.

Set in 1183, the story tells of the Christmas gathering ofthe dysfunctional family of the reigning King of England,Henry II.

Henry desperately wants to choose an heir to the thronefrom his three sons, Richard, John and Geoffrey, and theintricate weavings of deceit, politics, love, favourite chil-dren, desire for family unity, wheeling and dealing hasrecognised relevance to the 21st century.

Elements of The Lion In Winter could be described astragic, but rather than describing it as a drama, playwrightJames Goldman prefers to see it as “a comedy in two acts”.

His witty dialogue and colourful characters, beautifullybrought to life by HTC’s superb cast under the excellentdirection of Karen Wakeham, result in a most enjoyable,first class theatre experience.

The cast of seven fine actors includes Chris McLean(Henry II), Juliet Hayday (Eleanor of Aquitaine), Tom Stam-mers (Richard), John Murphy (John), Tim Camilleri(Geoffrey), Julia Christensen (Alais, Henry’s mistress) andKieran Tracey as Phillip II, King of France.

The simple yet cleverly atmospheric set is designed byGeorge Tranter, complimented by Deryk Hartwick’s light-ing design.

Wendy Drowley and Cathy Christensen have coordinatedthe authentic costumes.

Congratulations to Heidelberg Theatre Company on cel-ebrating their 60th anniversary. A splendid display of archi-val posters, programmes, photos and newspaper articles map-ping the company’s history can be seen in the theatre foyer.

The Lion In Winter is a fabulous choice to kick-start thisspecial celebratory year.

Tickets: $25 full price, $22 concession.Bookings: 9457 4117 www.htc.org.au

SHOWS

More on Page 61

■ Rehearsals are going well for MLOC’s production of TheWitches of Eastwick, which can be seen from June 15 – 23 atthe Phoenix Theatre, Glenhuntly Rd., Elwood.

The 45-strong cast is directed by Jane Court, with musi-cal direction by Martine Wengrow and choreography byMerilyn Young.

Michael Young plays the devilish role of Darryl Van Horneand says his portrayal is inspired by Jack Nicholson’s inter-pretation of the role in the 1987 movie version.

“I am not your typical leading man and I am looking togive the role the same saucy edge as Nicholson did in themovie”, says Michael.

“We ask the question: why would three beautiful youngwomen fall for this strange man?”

The three Witches are portrayed by Erin Keleher, LucyMacVicar and Susie McCann.

Challenges for the show’s design and stage productionteams include having the three Witches fly at the end of Act 1,a cello to play by itself and Felicia Gabriel (Lucy Nicolson)must find a number of strange things inside her mouth, includ-ing a tennis ball and cherry pits.

Tickets: www.mloc.org.au

●●●●● A scene from the 2011 Passion Play presentedat Ruffey Lake Park, Doncaster. From left: SamDell`Aglio (Roman Soldier), Gino Gammaldi (RomanCenturion), Brian Smith (Roman Soldier), TonyBarbuto (The Good Thief), Therese Hummel (Marthaof Bethany), Mary Martin (Mary Mother of Jesus),Chris Masters Mah (Jesus Christ).

Observer Classic Books

BONUS

SECTION

Observer

Continued on Page 30

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 29

alarmed on the score of the gentleman’s con-duct; but even this partial communication gaveher a great deal of concern, and she bewailed itas exceedingly unlucky that the ladies shouldhappen to go away just as they were all gettingso intimate together. After lamenting it, how-ever, at some length, she had the consolationthat Mr. Bingley would be soon down again andsoon dining at Longbourn, and the conclusion ofall was the comfortable declaration, that thoughhe had been invited only to a family dinner, shewould take care to have two full courses.

me quite easy. But I know the foundation isunjust. Caroline is incapable of wilfully deceiv-ing anyone; and all that I can hope in this case isthat she is deceiving herself.”“That is right. You could not have started a morehappy idea, since you will not take comfort inmine. Believe her to be deceived, by all means.You have now done your duty by her, and mustfret no longer.”“But, my dear sister, can I be happy, even sup-posing the best, in accepting a man whose sis-ters and friends are all wishing him to marryelsewhere?”“You must decide for yourself,” said Elizabeth;“and if, upon mature deliberation, you find thatthe misery of disobliging his two sisters is morethan equivalent to the happiness of being hiswife, I advise you by all means to refuse him.”“How can you talk so?” said Jane, faintly smil-ing. “You must know that though I should beexceedingly grieved at their disapprobation, Icould not hesitate.”“I did not think you would; and that being thecase, I cannot consider your situation with muchcompassion.”“But if he returns no more this winter, my choicewill never be required. A thousand things mayarise in six months!”The idea of his returning no more Elizabethtreated with the utmost contempt. It appeared toher merely the suggestion of Caroline’s inter-ested wishes, and she could not for a momentsuppose that those wishes, however openly orartfully spoken, could influence a young man sototally independent of everyone.She represented to her sister as forcibly as pos-sible what she felt on the subject, and had soonthe pleasure of seeing its happy effect. Jane’stemper was not desponding, and she was gradu-ally led to hope, though the diffidence of affec-tion sometimes overcame the hope, that Bingleywould return to Netherfield and answer everywish of her heart.They agreed that Mrs. Bennet should only hearof the departure of the family, without being

hope of an event which will secure the happi-ness of so many?”“What do you think of THIS sentence, my dearLizzy?” said Jane as she finished it. “Is it notclear enough? Does it not expressly declare thatCaroline neither expects nor wishes me to beher sister; that she is perfectly convinced of herbrother’s indifference; and that if she suspectsthe nature of my feelings for him, she means(most kindly!) to put me on my guard? Can therebe any other opinion on the subject?”“Yes, there can; for mine is totally different.Will you hear it?”“Most willingly.”“You shall have it in a few words. Miss Bingleysees that her brother is in love with you, andwants him to marry Miss Darcy. She followshim to town in hope of keeping him there, andtries to persuade you that he does not care aboutyou.”Jane shook her head.“Indeed, Jane, you ought to believe me. No onewho has ever seen you together can doubt hisaffection. Miss Bingley, I am sure, cannot. Sheis not such a simpleton. Could she have seenhalf as much love in Mr. Darcy for herself, shewould have ordered her wedding clothes. Butthe case is this: We are not rich enough or grandenough for them; and she is the more anxious toget Miss Darcy for her brother, from the notionthat when there has been ONE intermarriage,she may have less trouble in achieving a sec-ond; in which there is certainly some ingenuity,and I dare say it would succeed, if Miss deBourgh were out of the way. But, my dearestJane, you cannot seriously imagine that becauseMiss Bingley tells you her brother greatly ad-mires Miss Darcy, he is in the smallest degreeless sensible of YOUR merit than when he tookleave of you on Tuesday, or that it will be in herpower to persuade him that, instead of being inlove with you, he is very much in love with herfriend.”“If we thought alike of Miss Bingley,” repliedJane, “your representation of all this might make

CHAPTER 21 - continued

When they had gained their own room, Jane,taking out the letter, said:“This is from Caroline Bingley; what it containshas surprised me a good deal. The whole partyhave left Netherfield by this time, and are ontheir way to town — and without any intentionof coming back again. You shall hear what shesays.”She then read the first sentence aloud, whichcomprised the information of their having justresolved to follow their brother to town directly,and of their meaning to dine in Grosvenor Street,where Mr. Hurst had a house. The next was inthese words: “I do not pretend to regret anythingI shall leave in Hertfordshire, except your soci-ety, my dearest friend; but we will hope, at somefuture period, to enjoy many returns of that de-lightful intercourse we have known, and in themeanwhile may lessen the pain of separationby a very frequent and most unreserved corre-spondence. I depend on you for that.” To thesehighflown expressions Elizabeth listened withall the insensibility of distrust; and though thesuddenness of their removal surprised her, shesaw nothing in it really to lament; it was not to besupposed that their absence from Netherfieldwould prevent Mr. Bingley’s being there; and asto the loss of their society, she was persuadedthat Jane must cease to regard it, in the enjoy-ment of his.“It is unlucky,” said she, after a short pause,“that you should not be able to see your friendsbefore they leave the country. But may we nothope that the period of future happiness to whichMiss Bingley looks forward may arrive earlierthan she is aware, and that the delightful inter-course you have known as friends will be re-newed with yet greater satisfaction as sisters?Mr. Bingley will not be detained in London bythem.”“Caroline decidedly says that none of the partywill return into Hertfordshire this winter. I willread it to you:”“When my brother left us yesterday, he imag-ined that the business which took him to Londonmight be concluded in three or four days; but aswe are certain it cannot be so, and at the sametime convinced that when Charles gets to townhe will be in no hurry to leave it again, we havedetermined on following him thither, that he maynot be obliged to spend his vacant hours in acomfortless hotel. Many of my acquaintancesare already there for the winter; I wish that Icould hear that you, my dearest friend, had anyintention of making one of the crowd — but ofthat I despair. I sincerely hope your Christmasin Hertfordshire may abound in the gaietieswhich that season generally brings, and that yourbeaux will be so numerous as to prevent yourfeeling the loss of the three of whom we shalldeprive you.”“It is evident by this,” added Jane, “that he comesback no more this winter.”“It is only evident that Miss Bingley does notmean that he SHOULD.”“Why will you think so? It must be his own do-ing. He is his own master. But you do not knowALL. I WILL read you the passage which par-ticularly hurts me. I will have no reserves fromYOU.”“Mr. Darcy is impatient to see his sister; and, toconfess the truth, WE are scarcely less eager tomeet her again. I really do not think GeorgianaDarcy has her equal for beauty, elegance, andaccomplishments; and the affection she inspiresin Louisa and myself is heightened into some-thing still more interesting, from the hope wedare entertain of her being hereafter our sister. Ido not know whether I ever before mentioned toyou my feelings on this subject; but I will notleave the country without confiding them, and Itrust you will not esteem them unreasonable.My brother admires her greatly already; he willhave frequent opportunity now of seeing her onthe most intimate footing; her relations all wishthe connection as much as his own; and a sister’spartiality is not misleading me, I think, when Icall Charles most capable of engaging anywoman’s heart. With all these circumstances tofavour an attachment, and nothing to prevent it,am I wrong, my dearest Jane, in indulging the

Pride and Prejudice

●●●●● Jane Austen

CHAPTER 22

The Bennets were engaged to dine with theLucases and again during the chief of the daywas Miss Lucas so kind as to listen to Mr. Collins.Elizabeth took an opportunity of thanking her.“It keeps him in good humour,” said she, “and Iam more obliged to you than I can express.”Charlotte assured her friend of her satisfactionin being useful, and that it amply repaid her forthe little sacrifice of her time. This was veryamiable, but Charlotte’s kindness extended far-ther than Elizabeth had any conception of; itsobject was nothing else than to secure her fromany return of Mr. Collins’s addresses, by engag-ing them towards herself. Such was MissLucas’s scheme; and appearances were sofavourable, that when they parted at night, shewould have felt almost secure of success if hehad not been to leave Hertfordshire so very soon.But here she did injustice to the fire and inde-pendence of his character, for it led him to es-cape out of Longbourn House the next morningwith admirable slyness, and hasten to LucasLodge to throw himself at her feet. He was anx-ious to avoid the notice of his cousins, from aconviction that if they saw him depart, they couldnot fail to conjecture his design, and he was notwilling to have the attempt known till its successmight be known likewise; for though feeling al-most secure, and with reason, for Charlotte hadbeen tolerably encouraging, he was compara-tively diffident since the adventure of Wednes-day. His reception, however, was of the mostflattering kind. Miss Lucas perceived him froman upper window as he walked towards thehouse, and instantly set out to meet him acci-dentally in the lane. But little had she dared tohope that so much love and eloquence awaitedher there.In as short a time as Mr. Collins’s long speecheswould allow, everything was settled betweenthem to the satisfaction of both; and as they en-tered the house he earnestly entreated her toname the day that was to make him the happiestof men; and though such a solicitation must bewaived for the present, the lady felt no inclina-tion to trifle with his happiness. The stupiditywith which he was favoured by nature must guardhis courtship from any charm that could make awoman wish for its continuance; and Miss Lucas,who accepted him solely from the pure and dis-interested desire of an establishment, cared nothow soon that establishment were gained.Sir William and Lady Lucas were speedily ap-plied to for their consent; and it was bestowedwith a most joyful alacrity. Mr. Collins’s presentcircumstances made it a most eligible matchfor their daughter, to whom they could give littlefortune; and his prospects of future wealth wereexceedingly fair. Lady Lucas began directly tocalculate, with more interest than the matter hadever excited before, how many years longer Mr.Bennet was likely to live; and Sir William gaveit as his decided opinion, that whenever Mr.Collins should be in possession of the Longbournestate, it would be highly expedient that both heand his wife should make their appearance atSt. James’s. The whole family, in short, wereproperly overjoyed on the occasion. The youngergirls formed hopes of COMING OUT a year ortwo sooner than they might otherwise have done;and the boys were relieved from their appre-hension of Charlotte’s dying an old maid. Char-lotte herself was tolerably composed. She hadgained her point, and had time to consider of it.Her reflections were in general satisfactory. Mr.Collins, to be sure, was neither sensible noragreeable; his society was irksome, and his at

Observer Classic Books

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

From Page 29tachment to her must be imaginary. But still hewould be her husband. Without thinking highlyeither of men or matrimony, marriage had al-ways been her object; it was the only provisionfor well-educated young women of small for-tune, and however uncertain of giving happi-ness, must be their pleasantest preservative fromwant. This preservative she had now obtained;and at the age of twenty-seven, without havingever been handsome, she felt all the good luckof it. The least agreeable circumstance in thebusiness was the surprise it must occasion toElizabeth Bennet, whose friendship she valuedbeyond that of any other person. Elizabeth wouldwonder, and probably would blame her; andthough her resolution was not to be shaken, herfeelings must be hurt by such a disapprobation.She resolved to give her the information her-self, and therefore charged Mr. Collins, whenhe returned to Longbourn to dinner, to drop nohint of what had passed before any of the fam-ily. A promise of secrecy was of course verydutifully given, but it could not be kept withoutdifficulty; for the curiosity excited by his longabsence burst forth in such very direct ques-tions on his return as required some ingenuity toevade, and he was at the same time exercisinggreat self-denial, for he was longing to publishhis prosperous love.As he was to begin his journey too early on themorrow to see any of the family, the ceremonyof leave-taking was performed when the ladiesmoved for the night; and Mrs. Bennet, with greatpoliteness and cordiality, said how happy theyshould be to see him at Longbourn again, when-ever his engagements might allow him to visitthem.“My dear madam,” he replied, “this invitationis particularly gratifying, because it is what Ihave been hoping to receive; and you may bevery certain that I shall avail myself of it as soonas possible.”They were all astonished; and Mr. Bennet, whocould by no means wish for so speedy a return,immediately said:“But is there not danger of Lady Catherine’sdisapprobation here, my good sir? You had bet-ter neglect your relations than run the risk ofoffending your patroness.”“My dear sir,” replied Mr. Collins,” I am par-

ticularly obliged to you for this friendly caution,and you may depend upon my not taking somaterial a step without her ladyship’s concur-rence.”“You cannot be too much upon your guard. Riskanything rather than her displeasure; and if youfind it likely to be raised by your coming to usagain, which I should think exceedingly prob-able, stay quietly at home, and be satisfied thatWE shall take no offence.”“Believe me, my dear sir, my gratitude is warmlyexcited by such affectionate attention; and de-pend upon it, you will speedily receive from mea letter of thanks for this, and for every othermark of your regard during my stay inHertfordshire. As for my fair cousins, thoughmy absence may not be long enough to render itnecessary, I shall now take the liberty of wish-ing them health and happiness, not exceptingmy cousin Elizabeth.”With proper civilities the ladies then withdrew;all of them equally surprised that he meditated aquick return. Mrs. Bennet wished to understandby it that he thought of paying his addresses toone of her younger girls, and Mary might havebeen prevailed on to accept him. She rated hisabilities much higher than any of the others; therewas a solidity in his reflections which often struckher, and though by no means so clever as her-self, she thought that if encouraged to read andimprove himself by such an example as hers,he might become a very agreeable companion.But on the following morning, every hope of thiskind was done away. Miss Lucas called soonafter breakfast, and in a private conference withElizabeth related the event of the day before.The possibility of Mr. Collins’s fancying herselfin love with her friend had once occurred toElizabeth within the last day or two; but thatCharlotte could encourage him seemed almostas far from possibility as she could encouragehim herself, and her astonishment was conse-quently so great as to overcome at first the boundsof decorum, and she could not help crying out:“Engaged to Mr. Collins! My dear Charlotte —impossible!”The steady countenance which Miss Lucas hadcommanded in telling her story, gave way to amomentary confusion here on receiving so di-rect a reproach; though, as it was no more thanshe expected, she soon regained her compo-

ObserverMelbourne

Looking for aProfessional

to run the show?

Ted RyanPhone 9876 1652

Mobile: 0412 682 927E-Mail: tedryan@australiaonline.net.au

★ Compere/Host★ Auctioneer★ Promotions

★ A-Grade Journalist★ Voice-OverCommercials

★ Race Caller -All Sports, Race Nights

★ TV, Radio, Press★ Respected Member

of the Media

ted.ryan@optusnet.com.au

Page 30 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Observer Crossword Solution No 5

and much self-gratulation on the prospect of aconnection between the houses, he unfolded thematter — to an audience not merely wondering,but incredulous; for Mrs. Bennet, with more per-severance than politeness, protested he must beentirely mistaken; and Lydia, always unguardedand often uncivil, boisterously exclaimed:“Good Lord! Sir William, how can you tell sucha story? Do not you know that Mr. Collins wantsto marry Lizzy?”Nothing less than the complaisance of a court-ier could have borne without anger such treat-ment; but Sir William’s good breeding carriedhim through it all; and though he begged leaveto be positive as to the truth of his information,he listened to all their impertinence with the mostforbearing courtesy.Elizabeth, feeling it incumbent on her to relievehim from so unpleasant a situation, now put her-self forward to confirm his account, by men-tioning her prior knowledge of it from Charlotteherself; and endeavoured to put a stop to theexclamations of her mother and sisters by theearnestness of her congratulations to Sir Will-iam, in which she was readily joined by Jane,and by making a variety of remarks on the hap-piness that might be expected from the match,the excellent character of Mr. Collins, and theconvenient distance of Hunsford from London.Mrs. Bennet was in fact too much overpoweredto say a great deal while Sir William remained;but no sooner had he left them than her feelingsfound a rapid vent. In the first place, she per-sisted in disbelieving the whole of the matter;secondly, she was very sure that Mr. Collins hadbeen taken in; thirdly, she trusted that they wouldnever be happy together; and fourthly, that thematch might be broken off. Two inferences,however, were plainly deduced from the whole:one, that Elizabeth was the real cause of themischief; and the other that she herself had beenbarbarously misused by them all; and on thesetwo points she principally dwelt during the restof the day. Nothing could console and nothingcould appease her. Nor did that day wear outher resentment. A week elapsed before she couldsee Elizabeth without scolding her, a monthpassed away before she could speak to Sir Wil-liam or Lady Lucas without being rude, andmany months were gone before she could at allforgive their daughter. More Next Week

sure, and calmly replied:“Why should you be surprised, my dear Eliza?Do you think it incredible that Mr. Collins shouldbe able to procure any woman’s good opinion,because he was not so happy as to succeed withyou?”But Elizabeth had now recollected herself, andmaking a strong effort for it, was able to assurewith tolerable firmness that the prospect of theirrelationship was highly grateful to her, and thatshe wished her all imaginable happiness.“I see what you are feeling,” replied Charlotte.“You must be surprised, very much surprised— so lately as Mr. Collins was wishing to marryyou. But when you have had time to think itover, I hope you will be satisfied with what Ihave done. I am not romantic, you know; I neverwas. I ask only a comfortable home; and con-sidering Mr. Collins’s character, connection, andsituation in life, I am convinced that my chanceof happiness with him is as fair as most peoplecan boast on entering the marriage state.”Elizabeth quietly answered “Undoubtedly;” andafter an awkward pause, they returned to therest of the family. Charlotte did not stay muchlonger, and Elizabeth was then left to reflect onwhat she had heard. It was a long time beforeshe became at all reconciled to the idea of sounsuitable a match. The strangeness of Mr.Collins’s making two offers of marriage withinthree days was nothing in comparison of hisbeing now accepted. She had always felt thatCharlotte’s opinion of matrimony was not ex-actly like her own, but she had not supposed it tobe possible that, when called into action, shewould have sacrificed every better feeling toworldly advantage. Charlotte the wife of Mr.Collins was a most humiliating picture! And tothe pang of a friend disgracing herself and sunkin her esteem, was added the distressing con-viction that it was impossible for that friend tobe tolerably happy in the lot she had chosen.

CHAPTER 23

Elizabeth was sitting with her mother and sis-ters, reflecting on what she had heard, and doubt-ing whether she was authorised to mention it,when Sir William Lucas himself appeared, sentby his daughter, to announce her engagement tothe family. With many compliments to them,

D O W N P O U R S O N G B I R D L Y N C H I N G C R E M A T E DI H U G A D E E E E R I E O N H O I I E ES H O P T A L K C H A S T I S E D A N D R U F F B L E A K E S TC S T Y E L L T W E R R O R E R E I R E M T EO D E S S A U A M E R I C A O S U I C I D E A H I G H E R

A E M O P E D S X R O B E D N N L A S S O U XS M A C K E D V S T A T I C O A V E N G E F M A M M O T H

P T N E V A D A D S H U T E Y E A R I G O U R T IP E R I O D S D N O O K S N X N E V E R H G S T R I N G

S O E I D R U P D A T E D A A A E E CS T A N D D O W N B I N D I I O O W L E T N U T R I E N T SA D U B G R A S N I M B L E R M I D I R N O IM E A N N E S S O G L I N G M L S E D U C E H E A D L O N GU M G E W A E C E D E D N L C M I D NR E A D E R S B E M O A N E D D E C R E A S E B U C K L E SA N O S U M O A R C G P I T M I L L T E UI N T E N S E A L B U M I D E A L C L I M B E A S E S U P

Y N A D E P T A I L L M O O H N E L U D E L SI M P A C T X S I D E S B R I A R E D G A R N R E A G A N

P C U T A H M U S E D N E L S A C A S T I N GW H I T E R M O P E C M E L I S S A M A C H P A D D L E DH D I N U I T U H B A P C N R C A B L E O OI C I N G N A L C A T R A Z O U T R A G E D R M E A L SR O H O G A N S R O E K O T D H I N D U T ER E M I T S T D I L I I N S T E P S I R I S N O R C H I D

N R C O I L V S I L O O R E N O T A G R A H DA R M A D A O R E S T S M A O R I A N G S T L B L A Z E D

O Q R A N G E I T A I K M S G I R O Y A L I AE L L I P S E M E D I A N O O N E A U D I O N E W N E S SX O R R I T E E N E N V S D P O K E E M YP L A C E B O D I S A B L E D S A B A T I N I C R A V A T SO F C S I W U S E O U L K N C D S N TS K E L E T O N A F I E L D B K C I N E M A C O V E R A G EE R D L S L I P R E A L I S E S E L F T L T MD Y S P E P S I A Z E B R A T Y N U R S E O V E R S E E R S

A L I V Z L P R E C A S T E K R E N OU N L A T C H O L E A V E R K R U C H E B M A R A C A S

G I N A T U R E N R E S P I T E U S P A C E S B DS T E N C I L R D E C A Y S R E S P R I T D T O O L K I T

Z E C E A S E X R C H E A T L N H E L E N E ER E A R M S L R E P L I C A S H E A V E H O O S A D I S MO R E M A L I O Z P A S T E C X M A A M G C AM I C H E N E R N E U R O S I S I R R I T A T E N U M E R O U SP D T I M P N N S P A R E D C B E L N N KS T E P S O N S S I D E A R M S E D M O N T O N D E N T I S T S

Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, December 21, 2012 - Page 43www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Victoria Pictorial WilliamstownHistoric Photo Collection

●●●●● Williamstown Police Court●●●●● Williamstown Beach

●●●●● Williamstown Football Club

●●●●● Williamstown Post Office ●●●●● Methodist Church. Electra St, Williamstown

●●●●● Former Morgue. Ann St, Williamstown ●●●●● 1914-1918 War Memorial, Williamstown

●●●●● Williamstown High School

Page 44 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

Melbourne PeopleTerry Davis and Frank Howson

Birthday PartySouth Yarra

Photos: Vanessa Allan

●●●●● Birthday boys Terry Davis and Frank Howson ●●●●● Maria McMillan and Verne Koop.●●●●● Southern FM's Matt O'Brien andWired lead singer James Cupples.

●●●●● Carey Cavanagh and Matthew Armstrong ●●●●● Christine Arazi and Raeline Brady●●●●● Jenny Jackson and Leander Brett

●●●●● Wired lead singer James Cupples ●●●●● Bobby Bright and Terry Davis●●●●● Robert Lloyd and Frank Howson

●●●●● Alex Scott and Frank Howson. ●●●●● Photos by Vanessa Allan●●●●● Tess Young and John Turner

Melbourne People Melbourne AwardsCity of Melbourne

●●●●● Lauran Tairi and Susie Filetti●●●●● Nick Stong, Campbell Walker, Siebhan Brown and Kirsten Bickendorf

●●●●● Melbourne Awards ambassador Harold Mitchell

●●●●● Deputy Lord Mayor Cr Susan Riley with Harold Mitchell ●●●●● Grahan Woosey with Cherie Fraser

●●●●● Gemma Borgo-Caratti, Ellen Sandell, Arron Wood and Stephanie Sunstan●●●●● Melanie Reymond, Sue Roff, Catherine Easton,

Lyn Swinburne and Susan Barton

●●●●● Matthew Trigg, Krista Milne and Phil Wilkinson

www.MelbourneObserver.com.au Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 - Page 47

Melbourne PeopleChristian Smith

21st Birthday CelebrationsEuropean Bier Cafe

●●●●● Will Wright with Justin Burns●●●●● Moya Palmer with Christian Smith

●●●●● Julie Houghton with Christian Smith

●●●●● Neville Houghton, Olwen Houghton, and Loma Watts ●●●●● Stuart Burns with Edward Smith

●●●●● Shazz Naidu, Christian Smith and Alisa Sakura Scott ●●●●● Nick Dinopolous with Andrew Wailes

●●●●● Allan Smith with Andrew Wailes

Page 48 - Melbourne Observer - Wednesday, March 7, 2012 www.MelbourneObserver.com.au

●●●●● Dusty Miller, Christian Smith, Carol Mille