It Takes a Village to Raise a Child:

Raising Resilient Children through Positive Behavioral Supports

Clayton R. Cook, PhD, LPAssociate ProfessorSchool Psychology

College of Education

Associate DirectorSchool Mental Health Assessment,

Research, and Training (SMART) CenterUniversity of Washington

Big Question?What skills are babies

born with?

Gerber Baby

Two Worlds Students Inhabit

What skills enable children to be

successful later in life?

Resilience DefinedResilience: the ability to survive and thrive in the face of life’s daily ups and downs, curve balls, and stressors.

Survival skills (manage stress, bounce back): Bounce back after a challenging, adverse situationManage and overcome stressorsMinimize life suffering

Thriving skills (feeling good & getting the most out of life): Flourishing Optimize mental and physical well-being and quality of lifeReaching one’s own full potential

All Children Can Develop Resilience

Resilience does not require something rare or special—it’s ordinary magic.

Number of Resilience Factors and Life Satisfaction

SOURCE: http://www.michaelfurlong.info/research/covitality.htmlng

Ingredients to becoming a resilient person

• Developing helpful and optimistic thinking• Receiving “good” social support• Gratitude practices• Good sleep• Healthy, reasonable, balanced diet• Acts of kindness for others • Manage intense negative emotions• Regular physical activity • Mindfulness-based practices• Problem-solving conflicts with others• Scheduling time for recreation and relaxation• Receiving mentoring• Identifying inspiring role models• Cultivating positive emotions• Goal setting and developing a plan to overcome obstacles

PRACTICE!!!!!Neurons that fire together

wire together (Hebb’s Rule)

Formation of habits (automatic thoughts, feelings, behaviors)

Child Well-Being

Whole-Person PerspectiveAcademic, social-emotional, and physical

functioning are all interconnected (not separate)

ACADEMICS

SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL

PHYSICAL HEALTH

Objective and Subjective Well-Being

Grades

Attendance

Participation in extracurricular activities

# of friends

$$$$

Sense of belonging or connection

Joy for Learning

Educational Purpose

Self-efficacy

Life satisfaction

Objective Well-being Subjective Well-being

All Humans Thrive within Positive Environments—Climate

CriticalCriticalAttention to negativeAttention to negativeReactive, punitiveReactive, punitiveRejecting students Rejecting students UnstructuredUnstructuredCan’t you do betterCan’t you do betterStaff not on the same pageStaff not on the same page ““You’re not doing it right!You’re not doing it right!”” ““You better or else!You better or else!””

CompassionateCompassionateAttention to positiveAttention to positiveProactive, supportiveProactive, supportiveAccepting students Accepting students Structured, organizedStructured, organizedEncouragingEncouragingStaff on the same pageStaff on the same page ““You’re doing great!You’re doing great!”” ““You’re a great kid!You’re a great kid!””

Ingredients to Promoting and Optimizing

Child Well-Being

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Ingredients to Promoting Child Social, Emotional, and Academic Success

Positive relationships so all students feel sense of belonging/acceptance, trust, and understanding

Positive, predictable and structured environments that enable children to feel a sense of security and understanding of what is expected of them

Teaching of skills, habits, and routines that enable social, emotional, and academic success

Developing a sense of agency, purpose, and motivation

Focus on meeting children’s needs to be successful (needs-driven focus)

Practices that Result in Resilient

Children

Avoiding the Blame Game

Adult Skills and Well-being

Adults’ skills and their own well-being are stronger predictors of child success than is the amount of money the family makes, the child’s IQ, and quality of academic curriculum

“First, put your oxygen mask on and then proceed to assist other

s.”

Child wellbeing begins with parent or caregiver wellbeing

ACHIEVER PracticesAAwareness and Empowerment through mindfulness practices

CChoosing your attention and Practicing gratitude

HHelping and doing good deeds for others

IInner helpful & optimistic thoughts

EEstablishing good role models and social support

VValues clarification and commitment

EExercise, eat well, and engage in good sleep

RReward yourself through relaxation and recreation

Children benefit greatly from growing up in positive, predictable, and safe

environments

Clear expectations for behavior and effective limit setting

Positive relationships characterized by low conflict

Higher ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions

High levels of respect & support when the person needs it

Adults modeling positive attitude & outlook about life

Scheduling Child Time:Building Strong Relationships and Secure

Attachment

Scheduling uninterrupted time to engage in a child selected activity.

The child takes the lead & selects activity

The adult follows the child’s lead and demonstrates interest and enthusiasm

VS.

Catch the child behaving goodIt is human nature to pay more attention to

disruptive, annoying, or irritating behaviors than positive ones

Purposefully pay close attention to recognize and reinforce good decisions and behaviors5 to 1 ratio is the key!

Establish, teach, model, & reinforce behavioral expectations

Establish 3 to 5 expectationsStated positively (Dos instead of Don’ts)TeachableMemorableVisible

Teach the behavioral expectationsTell, show, do

Reinforce the child when he exhibits the behavior

Precorrection is better than reacting to problem behavior

Simple Proactive Behavior ManagementSimple Proactive Behavior Management

1. Precorrection2. Behavioral momentum3. Self-monitoring4. Choice-making

Effective Discipline:Setting Limits and Consistently Enforcing Them

Yelling, threatening, and physical contact need not apply

Progressive system of responding to problem behavior

Developing natural and logical consequences to problem behavior Withdrawal or restrict access to certain privileges Time-out or Task-based grounding Contribution plan Collaborative problem solving (Ross Greene)

Debriefing with the child to figure out how to handle the situation better next time

Consistency is the key!

The Foundation:• Strong Positive Relationships

• Proactive Classroom Management• Communicating effectively

• Cultural Competence

Pro

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Pro

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Proximity control Proximity control

Redirection strategyRedirection strategy

Ongoing MonitoringOngoing Monitoring

Prompt expected behaviorPrompt expected behavior

Teaching interactionTeaching interaction

#1 warning of consequence with “Think Time’#1 warning of consequence with “Think Time’

#2 delivery in-class disciplinary consequence#2 delivery in-class disciplinary consequence

#3 request for officel support process#3 request for officel support process

Reconnect, Repair, & Restore

Relationship

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EXTINCTION BURSThttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fitxofd7kOA&feature=related

EXTINCTION BURSThttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fitxofd7kOA&feature=related

Helping Parents Understand and Deal with the Extinction Burst

Extinction burst = The child’s last ditch effort to get the adult to back down

Emotional meltdowns vs. manipulative meltdownsEmotional meltdowns

Provide choice (cool down spot or follow instruction)“Not now, later” discipline approachPrompt “Cool down” strategies

Manipulative meltdownsValidate child’s feelings and calmly deliver disciplinary

consequence and follow through

School-Home Note SystemIntervention designed to improve the

communication and consistency of practices between school and home environments

Involves a parent training component to get parents to deliver consequences at home based on their child’s behavior at school

Parent can share information with school about outside stressors that may be impacting student behavior at school

School-Home Note Decision TreeCOMMUNICATIONCOMMUNICATION

BEHAVIORAL GOAL METBEHAVIORAL GOAL MET

YES - GOAL METYES - GOAL MET NO - GOAL UNMETNO - GOAL UNMET

CELEBRATE CHILDCELEBRATE CHILD’’S SUCCESSS SUCCESS ENCOURAGE CHILD TO HAVE A ENCOURAGE CHILD TO HAVE A BETTER DAY TOMORROW (discipline)BETTER DAY TOMORROW (discipline)

SCHOOL/PARENT RESPONSESCHOOL/PARENT RESPONSE

Consequences Delivered

Celebrating the child’s success (aim is to create positive contrast by making the child’s life more exciting, pleasurable, and/or fun)

Access to privilegesComputer time, video games, talking on the phone, staying up later, hanging

out with friends, TV time

Reward with item or activityBuy-out of chore, money, invite friend over, play outside, after dinner

dessert, playing with toys, etc.

Praise and positive recognition

Other

Consequences DeliveredEncouraging a better day tomorrow (aim is to create negative contrast by

making the child’s life boring, unpleasant, or introducing nothing)

Loss of privilegesRemoval of TV time, computer, video games, playing outside, talking on the phone,

or anything else that is considered to be fun

Task-based groundingHave the child perform chores that are outside of typical responsibilitiesGrounded until the chore or chores are completed

Contribution Plan

Thinking About My Inappropriate Behavior

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Thank YouContact info: cook2142@uw.edu