1.Resilient Family, Resilient Child Juvenile Arthritis Conference Washington, DC July 7-10, 2011 Shelia Rittgers, MSW Licensed Clinical Social Worker Duke University Hospital
2. Goals Look at the challenges of parenting a child with a chronic illness Identify interventions that help promote a healthy family, marriage and resiliency in a child with a chronic illness Identify resources to assist families coping with a child with a chronic illness 3. Its a Family Affair Chronic illness doesnt just affect the person with the condition. The whole family must come to terms with the illness, make major changes in schedules, priorities, and some how manage to remain a family. J. Laundry, M.D. and L. Boujaoude, M.D. Your Child: Development and Behavior Resources 4. it is not the childs disability that handicaps and disintegrates families; it is the way they react to it and to each other Dickman & Gordon: One Miracle at a Time: How to Get Help For Your Disabled Child-From the Experience of Other Parents 5. Common Challenges Loss of control Anxiety Anger/resentment Sadness Guilt Financial concerns How to manage everything! 6. The day we were told the diagnosis began what we called the train ride. We werent asked to hop on board and we cant jump off. Allisons mom Finding Our Way, Dartmouth STAR Program, Dartmouth Childrens Hospital 7. Family Maintenance Plan Education Communication Social Support Perception Routine yet flexible Organization R & R 8. I was so busy taking care of Allison that I often neglected myself. Im fine, healthy but I often feel that my cup is empty and I wasnt a good role model.Allisons motherFinding Our Way, Dartmouth STAR Program, Dartmouth Childrens Hospital 9. Caring for the Marriage When Parenting a Child with a Chronic Illness
Gender Differences and Communication
Women Cultivate Relationships Work To Negotiate Mutual Resolution Detailed Reluctant To Take Time For Self Reach Out Men Less Emphasis on Relationships Results and Move on Provide Information Fix It-if all else fails, read the manual Self Solace 10. Caring for the Marriage When Parenting a Child with a Chronic Illness Making the Connection
Talk
11. Listen 12. Respect Partner 13. Understand 14. Focus 15. Practice ForgivenessGod Gave Two Ears and One Mouth That We Should Listen TwiceAs Much as We Speak, Jewish Proverb 16. Caring for the Marriage When Parenting a Child with a Chronic Illness
Beware of Over Identifying roles
17. Together Time 18. Make use of your support system
