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Resilient Family, Resilient Kid

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  • 1.Resilient Family, Resilient Child
    Juvenile Arthritis Conference
    Washington, DC
    July 7-10, 2011
    Shelia Rittgers, MSW
    Licensed Clinical Social Worker
    Duke University Hospital

2. Goals
Look at the challenges of parenting a child with a chronic illness
Identify interventions that help promote a healthy family, marriage and resiliency in a child with a chronic illness
Identify resources to assist families coping with a child with a chronic illness
3. Its a Family Affair
Chronic illness doesnt just affect the person with the condition. The whole family must come to terms with the illness, make major changes in schedules, priorities, and some how manage to remain a family.
J. Laundry, M.D. and L. Boujaoude, M.D. Your Child: Development and Behavior Resources
4. it is not the childs disability that handicaps and disintegrates families; it is the way they react to it and to each other Dickman & Gordon:
One Miracle at a Time: How to Get Help For Your Disabled Child-From the Experience of Other Parents
5. Common Challenges
Loss of control
Anxiety
Anger/resentment
Sadness
Guilt
Financial concerns
How to manage everything!
6. The day we were told the diagnosis began what we called the train ride. We werent asked to hop on board and we cant jump off.
Allisons mom
Finding Our Way, Dartmouth STAR Program, Dartmouth Childrens Hospital
7. Family Maintenance Plan
Education
Communication
Social Support
Perception
Routine yet flexible
Organization
R & R
8. I was so busy taking care of Allison that I often neglected myself. Im fine, healthy but I often feel that my cup is empty and I wasnt a good role model.Allisons motherFinding Our Way, Dartmouth STAR Program, Dartmouth Childrens Hospital
9. Caring for the Marriage When Parenting a Child with a Chronic Illness

  • Gender Differences and Communication

Women
Cultivate Relationships
Work To Negotiate Mutual Resolution
Detailed
Reluctant To Take Time For Self
Reach Out
Men
Less Emphasis on Relationships
Results and Move on
Provide Information
Fix It-if all else fails, read the manual
Self Solace
10. Caring for the Marriage When Parenting a Child with a Chronic Illness
Making the Connection

  • Talk

11. Listen 12. Respect Partner 13. Understand 14. Focus 15. Practice ForgivenessGod Gave Two Ears and One Mouth That We Should Listen TwiceAs Much as We Speak, Jewish Proverb
16. Caring for the Marriage When Parenting a Child with a Chronic Illness

  • Beware of Over Identifying roles

17. Together Time 18. Make use of your support system

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