Future Together Forging the - Oasis Human RelationsOasis Press ISBN 1 871992 44 3 Cover Design by Acorn Creative Services • Printed by Biddles Ltd, Surrey Forging the Future Together

Forging theFuture Together

Human Relations in

the 21st Century

by Bryce Taylor

This thought provoking and digestible book is a

gift for anyone wanting to enrich their

understanding and practice in the realm of

Human Relations. It provides many ways into

this complex arena and a wealth of perspectives

to engage with, from the philosophical and the

political to the practical and spiritual.

Amanda Dale

Development Consultant

‘Forging the Future’ brings together key concepts in

personal and organisational development in an

accessible but challenging way. I have found it an

invaluable resource in informing a deeper

understanding through reflective practice.

Sheena McMain

GP Educator

The author writes with a clarity of analysis which

comes from a depth of experience in the field.

His published work is inspiring and especially

useful for those in the teaching professions

offering new and ex tended pa r ad i gms

which enable exploration and the opening

up of issues with confidence. In particular his use

of language demystifies and allows ease of

reading without any loss of a sense of discipline

required for in depth study.

Carol Curtis

Assoc. Lecturer, University of Leeds,

Lecturer, University of Bradford

Forging the Future gives a unique perspective and insight into the whole field of Human

Relations. Its uniqueness lies in the way the author moves from discussing the nature and

background of Human Relations into a deep and challenging exploration of the ‘person’ and

what it means to be an aware individual in the world in which we live.The reader is then

given models, tools and strategies that can be taken and used to great advantage in a wide

range of Human Relations contexts.

Forthcoming titles by Bryce Taylor:

•Working with Others: issues in theory, practice, assessment and accreditation

•How Did I Get Here & Where Do I Go From Here?: A biographical approach

•Experiential Education and Peer Learning: a radical paradigm

•Together We Can: a manual for partnership working

Oasis Press ISBN 1 871992 44 3www.oasishumanrelations.org.uk

Cover Design by Acorn Creative Services • Printed by Biddles Ltd, Surrey

Forging the Future Together Hum

an Relations in the 21st C

enturyby Bryce Taylor

About the Author

Bryce Taylor is an experienced and highly regardeddevelopment consultant, facilitator, author, and thefounding Director of Oasis – now the Oasis Schoolof Human Relations.

From a background in Education he went on towork at the leading edge of counselling andhumanistic psychology at a national level. Afterworking as a freelance consultant and trainer in awide range of organisational settings the scope anddepth of the work grew and the formation of Oasisbegan. For many years he has worked alongsideindividuals and organisations helping, guiding andchallenging the current paradigms of understandingand practice in the field of human relations.Passionate about learning, his depth of experience,together with his innovative, insightful and flexibleapproach underpinned by a belief in theimportance of relationship, enables Bryce to makea unique contribution to the world of HumanRelations development, both in conceptualunderstanding and practical application.

The Oasis School of Human Relations is a not-for-profit organisation based in Boston Spa WestYorkshire. It provides a unique range of short andlong term development programmes, organisationalconsultancy, total staff care services and producesa number of publications through Oasis Press. Formore information visit the website:

The Oasis School of Human Relationswww.oasishumanrelations.org.uk

[email protected]

COVER AW COMPLETE 20/5/03 9:28 AM Page 1

Forging the Future Together

Human Relations

In the

21st Century

byBryce Taylor

artwork for book INNER 16/5/03 2:50 PM Page 2

To the children

who will live in the new century

Taylor, BryceForging the Future Together

1 Human Relations2 Psychology3 Education

ISBN1 871992 44 3

Published byOasis Press

Hall MewsClifford RoadBoston SpaWetherby

West YorkshireLS23 6DT

Tel: 01937 541700Fax: 01937 541800

Email: [email protected]

Copyright Oasis Press 2003All rights reserved.

This book may not be reproduced, in whole or in part, in any formwithout the express written permission of the publisher.


ContentsNote to the Reader 2

Acknowledgements 3

Section I The World of Human RelationChapter 1 The Growth of Human Relations 5Chapter 2 The Nature of Human Relations 15Chapter 3 The Human Relations Context 24

Section II The World of the PersonChapter 4 Attributes of Awareness 41Chapter 5 The Dynamics of Disclosure 61Chapter 6 Development of the Person 78

Section III The Interpersonal UnderworldChapter 7 Individuals in Groupsq 88Chapter 8 Phases of Group Life and Development 102Chapter 9 Encountering Systems 112

Section IV Practitioner ProfileChapter 10 Self as Instrument 123Chapter 11 Getting involved 138Chapter 12 Building Relationships 149

Section V The Seven Stage ModelChapter 13 An Overview of the Seven Stage Model 174Chapter 14 Commitment: Contact and Contract 184Chapter 15 Conviction: Clarification and Challenge 193Chapter 16 Capability: Choice, Change and Closure 214

Section VI More Tools for Human Relations PractitionersChapter 17 Skills of the Seven Stage Model 225Chapter 18 Listening Skills 234Chapter 19 Working for Outcomes 240Chapter 20 Personal Problem Solving 246Chapter 21 Six Category Intervention Analysis 251

AppendicesAppendix 1 Individuals in Systems 261Appendix 2 Support Systems 263Appendix 3 A Helping Framework 265

Bibliography 266

Forging the Future Together - Human Relations In the 21st Century

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Note to the ReaderForging the Future Together is aimed at the interested reader; the student of any disciplinethat has human relationships at its heart. It is aimed especially at those who are involvedin working alongside others: supporting, advising, guiding, managing, mentoring.

The book is written in clearly demarcated sections, each one clearly titled to give anindication of the nature of the topics under consideration.We begin with a general overviewof the socio-economic forces that are shaping a new form of social and cultural atmosphere.We explore how the person comes to function as they do before looking at how the personthen learns to operate within a group and how systems impact upon us all.

The second half of the book, from Section IV onwards, begins to look more closely at thedynamics and issues of practice itself.We start with a view of the practitioner profile, goon to outline a model of human relations that is robust and applicable to any number ofsettings before looking at a series of tools that would be useful to most practitioners atsome time. Finally, the Appendices contain some directly applicable work sheets.

Though the book starts with an overview and moves progressively to the specifics ofpractice, it does not have to be read that way. Since each section is a self-contained unitit can be read independently of any other section and can be referred to as a separatecontribution in its own right.The book was put together in this way so that those whowant an overview, a context and a description of the background can find that at theoutset.Those who have an interest in the dynamics of practice can just as easily find thoseparts of the book more relevant to their current need.The hope of any author, this oneincluded, is that the reader would find dipping in and out useful enough that they wouldcover the whole work over time.This may not necessarily be done by sitting down andreading from cover to cover. It was not written in that expectation or that hope.

The book provides an overview of the way human relations is the concern of manydifferent occupations and professions but the preserve of none and so is often left outaltogether or perhaps only cursorily covered in the preparation of individuals in theirwork.Yet human relations skills are not easily ‘caught on the hoof ’, to cram two clumsymetaphors together. We tend to practice what we know and do it more firmly ratherthan do something different – which may, after all, get us worse results. Under thepressure of practice there is often precious little time to reflect. Before long we have away of doing what we do and that is it - give or take a few modifications.

Such a limited repertoire is unlikely to serve any practitioner well in the kind of socialupheaval we find ourselves in. Whilst this book makes clear that reading is no substitutefor practice, at least reading does begin to highlight where the dilemmas arise, how theycan be considered and suggest ways for practising different way of going about somesituations.

The book is to be used and may it be used well wherever you take it.


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S E C T I O N I

THE WORLD OF HUMAN RELATIONS


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AcknowledgementMany people have contributed to the ideas outlined in this book. Acknowledging them isabout pointing the reader in the direction of some gifted thinkers and practitioners aswell as appreciating their contribution to the final shape of the book. The work of WillSchutz stands behind a great deal of the interpersonal contributions; John Heron, theunderstanding of what it means to be engaged in any face to face relationship from a peerperspective; Mario van Boeschoten for the contributions on development and theimportance of organisations to the future of us all; Gerry Egan, whose contribution toordinary caring has been immense and who once casually remarked that the aim of mosthelp should ‘be the modest improvement in the well being of an other’ – as good a guideto practice as any.

Figures not known by the author directly but who have had great influence upon thisbook include, Sydney Jourard, Carl Rogers, Eric Berne, Bandler and Grinder.All these, withthe exception of Jourard, who was an existential phenomenologist (someone whoworked from experience), established specific ‘schools’ of thought about aspects ofhuman relations: Rogers, person-centred therapy; Berne, Transactional Analysis; Bandlerand Grinder, NLP.

Closer to home, my colleagues at Oasis have contributed immensely to the richness andthe robustness of the Seven Stage Model.Together, we have developed its capabilities andits descriptive usefulness, and taken it into many different settings with many differenttypes of practitioner. So many practitioners find Its simplicity and its ‘narrative’ accounteasily adoptable and they are easily able to recognise how and where their own practicefits.

Many thanks also to all those who contributed to bringing the book into print andespecially to Heather Tweddle who has edited it with great care and attentiveness.

Finally, the book wouldn’t be what it is without all those many folk who have tested outso many of the ideas described here in practice with me and my colleagues at Oasis. Mythanks to them and especially to those who have gone on to develop their own versionof the Seven Stage Model.



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sheer number of nations engulfed in the conflict, the numbers who were killed as a directresult (an estimated 50 million, according to EJ Hobsbawm in The Age of Extremes, 1994),and the economic cost of waging conflict for such a long period over so much of theglobe, ensured that the political map would have to be redrawn.

One of the consequences was that Britain and the Empire (the largest global empire todate) was put on notice of its demise. Liberation movements across the world began toform as people sought independence and the ‘International Community began to takefirmer steps towards developing a system of international law i.e. the United Nations.Theworld became divided into two camps:

• The free West

• The Soviet bloc

The end of the Second World War in 1945and the ensuing ‘Cold War’ that followed itsaw the beginning of a very different arrangement of international players with differentlevels of power – foremost among them was the USA. Far from ushering in an era ofpeace, we entered a new era of international tension and potential conflict, with theshadow of the ‘H’ bomb hanging over international relations. All this ensured that theimmediate post-war period was a time of dull, grey conformity that continued until thebeginnings of the 1960s.

As the psychologist Charles Tart has pointed out:'In the 1950s psychotherapists began seeing a new type of client, a type I havedescribed... as the "successful malcontent". Success doesn't mean that there is nosuffering or difficulty: some suffering and difficulty are part of a normal life and areaccepted as such. The successful malcontent knows he or she is "happy" byordinary standards but seeks therapy because he or she finds that life isnevertheless "empty". Isn't there more to life than money, career, consumergoods, social life? Where is the meaning?‘ C Tart in H Palmer, 1991.

Liberalisation of economies, occupational restructuring as new technology arrived, thegrowth in service-based industries, the decline of manufacturing and agriculture as themajor employers of adult populations all helped the changes. Cultural changesaccompanied these economic and political shifts.The creation of a ‘youth culture’ (not byyoung people we might quickly add, but those who stood to make money out of it) beganwith the advent of pop music as we know it today.Television became a social force thatopened the living room to the realities across the globe. Space travel inspired people tothink beyond the usual contours and frontiers of their small world.

Another WarThe Vietnam War was taking place in the sixties and it soon became more and more afocus for many of these separate innovations.This was the first televised war: a war foughtby a disproportionately large group of alienated black men who had few civil rights intheir own country but who were fighting to defend it from the supposed threat of


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Chapter 1The Growth of Human Relations

The Influence of ConsumerismPersonal encounters, day-to-day exchanges and opportunities to interact have explodedover the course of the last fifty years for most citizens of developed economies.The riseof consumerism, the impact of greater disposable income, the breakdown of traditionalpatterns of living, the growth of travel and leisure all serve to increase contact betweenpeople.The rise of global media organisations, the instant transmission of news across theworld, the sight of international leaders making decisions to pursue acts of war againstterrorists who themselves are using similar devices to outwit them, creates a new pictureof the possibilities not only of future communications but of the future itself. Mobilephones have become an ever-present feature of contemporary life along with a wholerange of new electronic media.

More recently, the development of the Internet and other forms of e-basedcommunications have given rise to new forms of relationship – virtual relationships.Individuals may not necessarily meet one another as real existing people but have longdistance connections using fake identities. In some cases these encounters do lead to reallive meetings, sometimes with disastrous consequences.

Such forms of connection are at too early a stage for us to know just what consequencesare likely to accrue. On the one hand, they create unprecedented opportunities forindividuals to stay in touch with one another, connect to people of like mind across theglobe or to stay in touch in even the remotest places. On the other hand, they also bringwith them the danger of exploitation, the corrosion of social trust and the demeaning ofhuman values. Like so many technological innovations, in themselves they offer all mannerof possibilities to make the world a more open place. It is entirely in our hands whetherwe make this the reality or not. One observation that is indisputable is that the evolutionof these technologies has already changed our human relations and will no doubtcontinue to do so.

Social mobility, growth in cheaper and more convenient forms of transport, opportunitiesto spend leisure time in other parts of the globe, changing patterns of consumption andincreases in disposable income all made for more people interacting with more peopleabout more things more of the time. At the same time, social exclusion, isolation andfragmentation have never been greater.The cost of these changes is everywhere aroundus and even if we choose not to see those consequences then our news media remindus daily of the increasing havoc and cost of social indifference.

Political and Cultural InfluencesThese changes began to take place following the end of the Second World War. One ofthe puzzling questions for anyone interested in human relations is the observation thatwar fuels ‘progress’. In the case of the Second World War, the scale of the conflict, the



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with new ways of ‘relating’. Individuals in groups were practising new techniques thatcould lead to effective changes, new personal insights and altered states of consciousness.

At first it was little more than a minority sport, but its effectiveness and its appeal soonwidened. Techniques culled from radical forms of management development wereintegrated with eastern meditation techniques. Combined with Sufi dancing and importsfrom other traditions and practices, they were used to create a potent cocktail ofmethods that could have a useful impact upon ‘uptight’ people: people who so stressedout that they functioned largely at the level of thought and are not in touch with theirwhole internal world of imagery, sensation and feeling.The idea that people could shapetheir inner world every bit as much as their outer one was novel and was, before long,to have far-reaching effects.

Each of these movements and the world-view they promoted shared a common concern:to foster a recognition of the need for an increase in personal responsibility. Individuals were,for the first time on any significant scale, waking up to the idea that ‘others are notresponsible for what happens to me’. The erosion of trust in external authority figures,formal institutional solutions and existing forms of hierarchical power were increasinglyquestioned.The resulting ground swell of information about the deliberate withholding ofinformation by government agencies, the misuse of privilege and the pretence that peoplewere not to be trusted - a claim that so often accompanied political appeals for maintainingthe status quo - were undermined throughout the decade.

Taking ResponsibilityA succession of revelations, challenges and the recognition by minority rights groups thatno one else would pursue their cause with the same vigour as they themselves resultedin political campaigns being taken to the streets. Direct action and public demonstrationsfollowed. The self-help movement was underway in a big way. It has not slowed downsince. Pressure group politics has its limitations and its shortcomings, but the beginningsof individuals and groups promoting their own causes without need of prior approvalfrom some arbitrary authority claiming to represent them has been a major developmentin our social and political life since the sixties.

This move to take increasing personal responsibility for what happens to us has continuedunabated and without regression for the last fifty years. Individuals in modern societiesknow they are responsible in a way that their parents and grandparents never conceived.The social institutions of the early part of the century all focused upon establishing socialinstitutions that looked after people. (This arose out of the acknowledged dependency ofthe citizen upon the all-wise, all-knowing and all-providing might of the state.) The secondhalf of the century was to reverse that trend altogether. ‘I am responsible’ could be seenas the mantra, the slogan and the critical point of departure for the enormous changesthat were to take place over the next fifty years in human relations.

Once individuals become willing to accept they are responsible and that what they dowill affect the outcome of what happens to them then we have a change in consciousness.


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communism. (As Muhammad Ali wryly observed, the Vietcong had never tried to hurthim, yet as a black man brought up in the Southern United States the same could not besaid for many of his countrymen.) The war was being waged by a government thatrefused to inform its people of the actions it was taking. The resulting mistrust andrepeated deception brought not only the US Government into doubt, but also allgovernments of the Western ‘democracies’. Discontent that was focused at first largelyupon the US government, was soon being mirrored around the world as young peoplestarted to question just what the ‘authorities’ knew and just how much they kept secret.Suspicion of the ’establishment’ was expressed at both extremes of action - in seriousdemonstration and in satirical humour.The forerunners of today’s satirical shows all beganin the 1960’s.

And an altogether English scandal - the Profumo affair - rocked the political establishmentin a way that undermined the popular acquiescence in the way political and social life wasconducted.That alliance between upper class background, public school networks and thepolitical groupings that arose out of such a social setting began to fail. Carnaby Street and‘swinging Britain’ was coming into its own at the same time. Along with it came a moodof anarchic indifference to the expected ways of doing things. There was a new foundfreedom reflected in attitude, behaviour and, above all, ‘style’.

It is hard for us to look back upon those days and realise so much of what we now takefor granted was being explored and fought over. Battles over gay rights, a woman’s rightto bear children or not, the issue of the contraceptive pill, a new phase in the battles offeminism all began around this period. Ecological concerns and environmental issues firstbegan to attract attention and the increasing demand for political representation ofminority groups - forcefully represented by the civil right movements in the United States- did much to radicalise every aspect of cultural, social and political life.

The Shift of PowerThe most visible demonstration of this political shift that occurred was a large minoritygroup taking power into its own hands, peacefully but determinedly. Black people werenot going to be put back into their place. Despite death and murder, despite viciousoppression and the indifference of a political establishment that said it supported suchmoves while at the same time undermining them, the civil rights movement continued itsunflinching progress. It faced brutal opposition for a long period before it began totriumph. Of course, political representation was not the end of the story; it was thebeginning of another chapter but an important chapter had been written. It was one thathas inspired minority groups the world over.

These concerns, ‘civil rights’, ‘feminism’ and ‘ecological responsibility’, were linked to anotherless public and, initially, less influential movement that had an impact upon human relations– the human potential movement. The distinctive features of this movement really beganto gain force in the sixties. Although generally regarded as an aberration caused by toomuch Californian sunshine and surfing, the ‘growth movement’, as the human potentialmovement was often known, was experimenting socially, personally and interpersonally



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Those who were part of this movement knew they were in it and those who were notknew they were not.

The invisible and altogether unspoken dividing line made a decisive distinction betweentraditionalists and what we would today term ‘cultural creatives’ 1.WEC represented thedisparate interests distributed amongst diverse groups of people: people who were busyexamining what they would and wouldn’t support in relation to the proliferation of goodsand services that made up a modern economy. Selecting out what you did not want tobe attached to became an important consideration, not only about one’s life style, butalso about one’s values.

There were those whose major concerns focused around more balanced living (theecological wing). Others’ interests lay in a more balanced diet (the vegetarian/animalliberation wing).There were still others who had a concern for women’s rights and healthissues (the women’s movement). There were those pursuing better relationships (thepersonal development and human relations wing) and there were those who wanted tofind God.You couldn’t do everything but you could choose from the range of options,and in doing so you generated something of an identity that distinguished you from thoseothers around you who pursued their own different hierarchy of values.

Gathering Forces of ChangeAll these changes soon had effects within the establishment. Organisations began to have topay more attention to the rights and needs of their staff – particularly women and minoritygroups. Undisguised discrimination was no longer acceptable.The talent of minority groupsbegan to have opportunities to demonstrate itself. Educational opportunity exploded aspolicy makers increasingly realised a more responsible population would require a higherstandard of education as a base from which to make decisions.

The emergence of a new set of ambitions, aspirations and demands in the late sixties sawthe beginnings of so many of the social and intellectual trends that have continued toresurface in different ways and at different times since. Gender issues, the rights of theindividual, the role of work, environmental concerns and the future of relationships allbegan to find expression in that period - and many of the responses have since foundtheir way into the arguments of contemporary writers.

The momentum of these changes faded from view from time to time, held back by thisor that social resistance, but the overall direction was unquestioningly maintained. Allthese changes, and the many, many more we could cite, illustrate the point that socialchange has been a major disruptive force upon traditional and settled ways of doing justabout anything over the last fifty years.That momentum shows no sign of coming to anend. Indeed, all the evidence is that the pace of change will continue to accelerate.Theimpact this will have upon our social, cultural and political life, let alone our economicprospects, is anyone’s guess.


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Formal educational institutions will no longer hold the same authority over whatconstitutes ‘useful knowledge’. Traditional sources of respect will no longer hold good ifthey are examined and found wanting. People will no longer be so pliable in serving thewishes of those responsible for dispensing the information that they receive. A morequestioning atmosphere develops – at least across many social groups.A more suspiciousattitude is taken to the statements made by those in power and there is a more scepticalexamination of the ways things are or should be. At the same time, there is more to do,more to experience and more to enjoy than ever before. Human beings are presentedwith something of a feast compared to the grey days of the fifties. Suddenly, beingresponsible also meant being able to choose. Now there is choice, choice, choice –everywhere.We understand and live with choice in a way that is qualitatively different.

All this was something of a liberation; a materialist liberation in many ways, but a liberationnevertheless. As the economic changes began to take hold and the resulting social andcultural changes began to take effect, individuals began to recognise that they could shapetheir own circumstances in undreamt of ways - and they did. New forms of lifestyleexperimentation took off (such as the commune movement), new forms of co-operativeexchanges and self-help groups of all types began a shift away from reliance upon socialinstitutions.

Much of what lay behind these forces and influences could be described as a yearning forauthenticity: the longing of many individuals to feel a connection with themselves and theirown experience in deeper richer ways. This was in marked contrast to the deepconformity and conventionality of the fifties and the early part of the sixties.The need tofind an authentic expression for oneself, a way of proclaiming one's identity through a'real' life has both its naive and its dark side.The search for authenticity can be little morethan a pose for self-referential narcissism, for claiming the privilege of uniqueness that isno more than a desire to be ‘different’ for no other reason than it hides a deep absenceinside.The other danger of the search for authenticity is that of separation from a sociallyconnected world. Authenticity is not a simple matter. It has its challenges and its dangers.

The Search for MeaningMany existential thinkers were all too aware of how routine and banal much of whatpasses for modern life actually is and were therefore searching for some way ofconnecting to deeper wellsprings of human feeling and response.They wished to reachout beyond the prosaic and make contact with the deeper reaches of human nature.

The Whole Earth Catalogue (WEC) was perhaps the most widely known andrepresentative publication of its kind at the time. Everything you could think of to livewithout need of the ‘system’ was brought together into a compendium, and instantlybecame a collector’s item. It wasn’t so much that the WEC was the bible for a movementthat was going to retreat into the wilderness and start all over again, it was more like amanifesto for a non-movement.You didn’t subscribe to everything in it; you picked whatsuited you. You knew there were others doing the same and you were all part ofsomething that was variously called the ‘counter culture’ or the ‘alternative movement’.

1 Cultural creatives is a term used by researchers to identify those people who are interested in new ideas, new ways of doing things

and who are not strongly influenced by convention.We might think of them as pioneers.



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reinforced by the gathering of people in social space declines, our human relations are inturmoil. One answer to that is to seek hope in some of the group activities that arose inthat sixties period and which have evolved through many variations since. More peopleare involved in one of those four movements - civil rights, women’s, environmental andpersonal development - than at any time in history. Cultural creatives now account forapproaching 25% of the population and is said to be growing at the rate of 2% a year inthe USA.

For many organisations it means that they cannot assume that staff know the basics ofhow to conduct themselves, and, in any case, even the basics of a job like tele-sales arenot something people can pick up and learn as they go about their daily life. It has to betaught and it has to be brought down to a fine art because customers will show littlepatience towards the incompetent operator. In roles involving more complex interaction,effective preparation is vital. Where face-to-face staff are required to understand andexplain varying features of the goods and services that they represent, effectivecommunication skills are essential. Even humble repair staff (once beyond the need ofhuman relations training) are now rightly seen as company representatives and rightlyrecognised as having a major influence upon the potential long-term loyalty of the currentcustomer.The consumer (rather than customer) is the new idol to be worshipped andmore and more sophisticated ways of enticing, seducing, managing, retaining and evenenslaving them to the ‘brand’ are under continuous refinement and development.

This has given rise to a whole new industry of training and preparation; of companyservants whose job it is to ensure that those occupying key roles in dealing with theconsumer are prepared and that they are supported to do their work effectively. At thesame time, increasing numbers of individuals are willing to give up their leisure time andsome of their income in order to benefit from any one of the array of ‘services’,‘opportunities’ and ‘treatments’ that form the plethora of offerings that go under therubric ‘personal services’. Counsellor, therapist, personal trainer, dance teacher, musicteacher, aroma-therapist, yoga teacher, meditation guide, creative consultant, coach,metaphysical counsellor, life coach, astrological guide, personal advisor, reflexologist,individual consultant - the names are many, the activities enormous in their variety andtheir popularity increasing. Workshops, seminars, and training courses on all aspects ofdevelopment, training and personal growth are now widely available - often locally.Curiosity and interest abound.

The Shifting Sands of Human RelationsAs time passes, more and more people recognise they are never going to be preparedfor the world that is emerging. Only continuous forms of engagement with learning ofsome kind will help them retain the mental agility, the emotional flexibility and thesteadiness of understanding to keep pace with the way their lives are moving. No longercan anyone expect the network of friends and social acquaintances that surrounded themas they grew up to be sufficient support through a crisis. Neighbourhoods don’t provideinformal support in the way they once did. Families are often too scattered and living


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As the century drew to a close many of those issues that had first appeared on the sociallandscape in the sixties had established a significant place. Ecological concerns arebeginning to have a respected place, if not in fact then in the rhetoric put out by Westerngovernments. Whether it will be in time to avert catastrophe we will see. Human rightsare on an inexorable march in Western countries thus making the quality of life and legalprotection of minority groups a little more secure. Feminism may have lost some of itspublicity-making novelty, but it has continued to force its influence upon an enormousrange of thinking and practice.

Even the notion of individual responsibility was incorporated into the mainstream ofpolitical life with the arrival of the Thatcher years. Although it was narrowly interpretedand had an exclusive economic focus, nevertheless, the idea of individuals having to takeresponsibility for themselves in ways undreamed of before became a fast approachingreality. It became nothing less than a necessary requirement as the machinery of the stateproved incapable of delivering the ambitious social agenda that generations of politicianshad promised.

A New World was being fashioned driven by ideas that, in themselves, didn’t always seemtoo radical but yet their consequences soon refashioned the social world. Housing,education, health, the deregulation of industries – enormous and sweeping changesovertook most Western societies in the run up to the collapse of communism.When thatevent took place there were many who predicted a new world order.

Transformation of Human RelationsIn the decade and more that has passed since the Soviet Union unravelled leaving apolitical and social catastrophe behind it, we have not moved into a new era of globalorder, peace and security.We have entered an altogether more menacing reality with theadvent of terrorism on an impressively accomplished scale. And we have entered into anera when the USA is indisputably the most important power the earth has ever known.These are different times and in many ways new times for us all to learn how to manageour human relations.

One thing it does mean is that human relations is not to be taken for granted. Our humanrelations are being transformed.This can be seen all around us. It is evident as people goabout their leisure activities, and amble around the shopping malls and retail parks thatmake up a large part of our leisure pursuits. It is evident in how people now movethrough three and even more careers, take up positions in organisations that have verydifferent cultures, move in and out of different family arrangements and take on varietiesof responsibilities for children that may or may not be their own. What we owe to oneanother and how those obligations are to be met and enacted are open questions.

In an increasingly secular age that has lost the comforts of a God who has not so muchdisappeared as abandoned us, at a time when political arrangements are losing thesupport of great numbers of people, and at a time when social behaviour that is



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sources of view and understanding. If we don’t, we run the risk of becoming insulated(especially in an age like our own) believing that what we think is a more common andwidely held view than may well be the case. Surrounded only by people like ourselves,we develop a mono-cultural stance to the world and begin to ‘screen out’ those aspectsof experience and events that it doesn’t suit us to notice.

We need a range of social experiences that maintain our attention and keep our socialroles and our social interaction alive, and we need activities that fulfil us for their ownsake. The combination of these things will vary from individual to individual but we allneed some of them. In a modern society the risk is we have too few interpersonal andsocial contacts that are meaningful and have depth about them, and that our work-relatedinteraction is all instrumental and task focused and has little regard for the emotionalclimate in which our work is conducted.

Those who understand something of the make up of and pressures upon the modernindividual, and who can respond warmly and positively to people in their varyingsituations, possess both an understanding and a set of skills that will command greatinterest from other people and from organisations. Someone with human relations skillswill be seen to be more and more indispensable to the smooth functioning of anyenterprise. Whether as a facilitator of a work team, a change agent inside a companyhelping groups manage the process of change and development, a manager able to raisepeople’s motivation and commitment under pressure (without exhortation orharassment) or as a team leader who can see beyond the needs of the job, humanrelations skills will gain increasing recognition in organisations.

In personal life they will, of course, always count for a good deal, but even more so in thefuture.The value to others of the individual who can offer the good listening ear, can helpclarify someone’s concerns about their circumstances or help evaluate optionsdispassionately, cannot be overestimated.


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through their own patterns of discontinuity for them to be a safe place for people torecover from the shocks and hard knocks of the world. As a result, all forms of thehelping conversation2 are becoming more widely available and more socially acceptable.Companies often provide support of this kind to their employees in the hope that thingscan be ‘caught’ at an early stage rather than allowing a crisis to become deep rooted.

The self managed learner, the portfolio career and the increased priority of team workingin organisations ensures interpersonal difficulties, which once meant that people eitheravoided one another or resorted to low level hostilities, will no longer be tolerated.Organisations need people to work more economically and with more flexibility, both inthe composition of the work groups to which they are assigned and in the tasks uponwhich they are engaged. Conflict is bound to be a feature of such changes and managingdifference a major organisational issue. Accountability features strongly in flatterhierarchies. Employers are interested in finding effective ways to ensure people knowwhat they are accountable for and supporting them effectively in the mechanisms andstructures within which they need to be accountable. This all adds to the pressures ofbeing a responsible employee.

We live at a time when personal networks have shifted and changed and are moretransient: temporary alliances gather around job, a living space or some combination ofboth but they are rarely long lasting3.This causes great anxiety for anyone facing change.Not only are you losing a job - however much you are glad of the promotion - you arelosing the network that goes with it. Moving to another location means that, in alllikelihood, most of the relationships, however good they are, will fall by the wayside aspeople inevitably get on with their lives and the space that you once occupied is graduallysealed over.This can put an immense pressure on the individual to appear as though theyhave the resources required to make up their life as they go along. In truth, almost noneof us have or can.We need each other, but in needing each other we begin to experiencethe anxiety of risk.

Managing Conflicting ExpectationsThe ways we are prepared to admit we need each other and go on to negotiate ourneeds with one another are far from straight forward. How are we to confront thediscrepancies that are inevitable as our needs from time to time are incompatible? Whatare we to do when those incompatibilities mean the very nature of the kind ofrelationship we have comes under scrutiny and perhaps threat? All this makes managingour human relations a volatile business indeed.

A healthy individual needs a sufficient range of influences, not simply peers who reflectour own stage of life and similar concerns but a wide range of sound and challenging

2 I prefer this term to others since it indicates a wide range of possible forms of help and talk coming together and doesn’t imply thatit is only the province of some paid professional. Many forms of helping conversation go on in friendship and amongst colleagues -these are just as important for a person’s well-being as any that might go on in a more formal ‘helping’ situation.3 At this point many people will retain some of their lasting relationships that they grew up with but as they spread themselvesgeographically those relationships, whilst emotionally important, may well not survive as active forces in people’ lives simply becauseof distance and infrequency of meeting. When it comes to having people to support you through a crisis, it is not sufficient to havea really good friend who is half way across the world - you need someone across the road.


Documents

Future Together Forging the - Oasis Human RelationsOasis Press ISBN 1 871992 44 3 Cover Design by Acorn Creative Services • Printed by Biddles Ltd, Surrey Forging the Future Together