Comparison of My Strengths and Weaknesses as a Writer

Natalie Fruit Dr. Matthew Horton

English 1101 08 December 2011

Comparison of My Strengths and Weaknesses as a Writer

Table of Contents

Analytical Cover Letter ....................................................................................................................1

Quality Comparison .........................................................................................................................4

Least Successful Article Response ......................................................................................4

Most Successful Article Response .......................................................................................6

“What’s the Difference?” .....................................................................................................8

Revision Samples ...........................................................................................................................11

Least Successful Article Response (with markup) ............................................................11

Least Successful Article Response (final) .........................................................................14

Most Successful Article Response (with markup) .............................................................17

Most Successful Article Response (final) ..........................................................................18

Most Successful Essay (with markup) ...............................................................................20

Most Successful Essay (final) ............................................................................................27

1

December 8, 2011 Matthew R. Horton, Ph. D. Assistant Professor of English Gainesville State College Oconee Campus 313b Oconee Classroom 1201 Bishop Farms Parkway Watkinsville, GA 30677 Dear Dr. Horton, My name is Natalie Fruit and I am a freshman at Gainesville State College. As I’ve gone back and looked through all of my assignments from this English 1101 class, it’s clear that I have showed major improvements as a writer and have also learned a lot of information along the way. This final portfolio organizes the selections of some of my best and worst writings throughout the semester. In my portfolio, my progress shows that I have developed from average, high school writings to more in depth essays full of structure and detail. This English 1101 course has taught me to analyze the authors point of view and the why it’s important to consider his or her point of view, rather than just summarizing what is discussed throughout the article. This started off as being a challenge for me because before college I was never faced with this type style of writing, but I was willing to learn and grow as a writer. As you read through my portfolio, my improvements as a writer are very clear. The criticism I received from you as my teacher on each of my assignments really helped encourage me to do better every time. You have taught me that articles don’t just consist of the topic that is presented, but that there is much more depth to be considered while reading a piece of writing. I had a difficult time trying to relate to certain articles that weren’t necessarily easy to relate to. With both these struggles and improvements, without reading my final portfolio neither of these would be able to be identified. However, there is always room for more improvements throughout all of my work this semester, and I have done the best of my ability to take the editing skills I’ve learned in this course to perfect each of my assignments. After you have read my portfolio you should have a better understanding of what information and skills as a writer I will take with me to my English 1102 course next semester. My least successful article response was “Wastefulness vs. Reality.” This article discusses the issue that Americans have this idea of limitlessness, and have become more wasteful of resources then ever before. I didn’t seem to have a difficult time with revising this article response because there was much that needed to improve including the length of the article and a better understanding of the author’s point of view. Being my first article response, I struggled to grasp what was exactly needed to receive a perfect score. It was difficult for me to actually capture what point of view the author was portraying, which gave me little room to form in depth, detailed articles. Also, instead of providing relevant information about the author’s point of view, I just added useless information to add length to my article. However, I used an equally good amount of quotes from the author, but I never seemed to describe the importance of those quotes and they weren’t necessarily placed correctly to make the sentence flow. When revising the first paragraph, I basically started from the beginning and created a more detailed

2

understanding of the author’s point of view. I also included more in depth quotes that make the paragraph easier determine exactly how the author feels. The second paragraph also needed a lot of revising due to the fact that I didn’t discuss the significance of the author’s point of view at all. I had a hard time staying on topic, and included unimportant information. I reexamined this significance and created a more informed paragraph. My revisions made ultimately reflect a better article response than before, that grade did not reflect my best work and I used skills that I’ve learned to edit this response into being more successful. My most successful article response was “Baby Doomers.” This article discussed the issue of what little efforts the Baby Boomers generation has made to our society. One of the main things I did wrong in this article response was include useless information in my topic sentence, just to add length to my paragraphs. For example, the opening sentence stated “In Michael Kinsley’s article, “The Least We Can Do” he introduces the ongoing issue on what the Baby Boomers generations have and have yet to offer to our current and future society.” The problem with this sentence is that I included the author and title of the article, this information is not important to the response and therefore not needed, also this sentence lacks detail and is a very broad statement about what the author is expressing throughout the article. In the first paragraph I appeared to go off topic and included certain information without going into detail about what I just previously described. I also made some minor changes in sentence structure as well as placement, which helped sentences make more sense. The second paragraph was difficult for me to make changes, because to be honest, putting aside a couple of mistakes, this paragraph provided a developed understanding of the important of the author’s point of view. Not implying that there is never room for any improvement, removing a few unnecessary sentences was the major editing I made to this paragraph. However, overall my revisions show that this article response now has a better opportunity to become a possible perfect score. My most successful article essay was “The Disease That Always Wins: Cuts a Life Short.” Author Ann Hulbert went into detail of her mother’s experience with cancer, and her choice to accept the fact that she was not going to survive rather than to fight the disease. As I read this article, I thought about what impact cancer has had on my life, and then I was reminded of Amanda Riley, a friend from high school who was also diagnosed with cancer. I took the writing on Ann Hulbert, and related her story to something in my life. The connection I had with her story helped me produce rich, in detail sentences about the life of Amanda Riley, which ultimately would help the reader to connect with my story as I did the original author. My revisions consist of showing how this essay wasn’t just a story, but rather what I took with me from Hulbert’s article. My stages and thesis statement also lacked some detail, so I created more elaborate sentences to help fill in the gaps. In the end, I’m satisfied with my revisions and feel as if it makes for a much better essay than before. Throughout this course, I haven’t particularly become a perfect writer but I can say that I have definitely improved as a writer from when I first began this course. It’s clear that I started off a little shaking and had a difficult time understanding what I was expected to do for each writing piece, and how I was supposed to achieve this with A and B scores. I plan to be able to take the skills that I have learned and continue to use them in my English 1102 course next semester. These skills have helped me to connect with articles and there authors, rather than just looking at the overall big picture of the writing piece. I was pushed all semester to compose writing

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assignments that I have never done before, and it was a struggle to connect with the author when I was always used to summarizing. In all of my pieces of writing throughout this portfolio, I had difficulty with staying on topic and not just adding unnecessary quotes and information just to add depth to my work. For starting the semester with a six out of ten on the first article response, and leaving with a nine out of ten on my second, the improvement in my writing is obvious within. I seemed to have grasped the major concept of writing that you were looking for, and hope that these skills will help me with further writing pieces not just through the educational level, but as well as socially. Overall, I am proud of the improvements I have made but I am always aware that there is always room for much more improvement. Once I chose the final portfolio option as my final grade, I knew I made the right choice. Being my first portfolio of my college experience, I liked the challenge it emphasized to criticize your own work. I had a hard time in finding some issues with some of my writing, not wanting to let go of what I thought of as perfect sentences. The fact that I was still able to complete the task of finding enough imperfections really shows that I have developed as a writer. Seeing as though my overall scores have improved, it’s clear that I have grown as a writer since when I first started. After reviewing and editing all of my work, I feel as if my final portfolio grade achieves an overall A. However, I do still see room for improvement in all of my writing, but the changes I made throughout the portfolio shows my growth as a writer and I can say I am satisfied with that. I know I am capable of receiving the A+ work that I know I deserve once I motivate myself and put my mind to it. My struggles have turned into my strong points, and that is sufficient enough to say that I have developed as a writer and I am now able to take my skills to the next level. Thank you for revising my final portfolio, this English 1101course started as a struggle but in the end, I knew I could do it. Your teachings were very helpful for my further success as a writer. Sincerely, Natalie Fruit

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Least Successful Article Response

Wastefulness vs Reality

Berry, Wendell. “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits.” Harper’s Magazine. The Harper's

Magazine Foundation, May 2008. Web. 31 Dec. 2009.

In the article "Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits," Wendell Berry's point of view

generally states that Americans are starting to become more wasteful than ever before. He seems

to be focusing on the fact that the American way of life is apparently indestructible. He mentions

that "the real names of global warming are waste and greed," which seems to be true due to the

fact that we will keep on wasting, consuming, and spending until we have none. Berry is

basically saying that we Americans are blinded by the fact that we are foolish with our use of

resources, and seem to think everything is limitless. With this idea of limitlessness, he states that

this includes "limitless growth, wants, wealth, natural resources, energy, and debt." It's also

important for Americans to begin realizing that we are "limited creatures in a limited world." It's

obvious that Berry seems to show nothing but anger towards the American way of life and how

we are continuing to a wasteful future.

Berry makes his argument very clear, and it really gets you thinking how you yourself are

making an impact on this current issue in the world. Americans need to begin realizing that now

is not the time to be wasteful and greedy, due to the continuing increase of gas prices and how

our everyday activities have a heavy impact on the global warming phenomenon. To many

readers Berry's argument may seem harsh, yet it is also extremely rational. It's important to take

into consideration that we were only blessed with one world, and this idea of an unlimited

society is make believe. Americans must begin to modify their selfish and wasteful ways, if they

have any hopes of the near future. Wendell Berry's argument seems to be hopeful that Americans

5

will take this article into perspective and help turn around the current downward spiral of the

economy.

6

Most Successful Article Response

Baby Doomers

Kinsley, Michael. "The Least We Can Do." The Atlantic. The Atlantic Monthly Group, October

2010. Web. 9 September 2011.

In Michael Kinsley's article, "The Least We Can Do" he introduces the ongoing issue on

what the Baby Boomers generation have and have yet to offer to our current and future society.

Kinsley's point of view towards the Boomers is nothing but anger and disappointment. He

mentions that this generation is viewed as a "self-absorbed, self-indulgent and just plain selfish

culture." The Boomers, being children of the so called "Greatest Generation" may have a lot to

live up to; due to the fact that their parents dealt with the Great Depression, World War II, and

overcame Communism. It's clear that the author cannot bear to watch this new generation

become such failures any longer. Boomers have yet to accomplish anything worth recognizing

besides the enormous, endless piles of debt that they can't seem to pull themselves out of and the

current never ending War with Iraq. When Kinsley mentions, "in the world that Boomers will

pass along to their children, America is widely held in contempt, prosperity looks to more and

more people like a mirage, and things are generally going to hell" he seems to show deep

concern for what Boomers are leaving behind for future generations to come. It's relevant that he

is worried about what impression the effortless Boomers are having on todays society, as well as

the approaching generations. He also mentions how frightening it is that they have realized all of

the problems that they're being faced with and still continue to let everything fall apart. Kinsley's

point of view shows that all he wants is for the Baby Boom generation to prove themselves, and

rid the "failed" impression that they have earned themselves.

7

When taking into consideration the point of view that Kinsley portrays in this article,

many, if not all Baby Boomers may feel extremely insulted. The irony of his degrading thoughts

towards the quote on quote "failed" generation is that he in fact is a Boomer himself. Although

some readers may think to themselves "how would a middle-class, average American be able to

solve this problem?" but that's not the impression Kinsley is trying to put on people. It's

important to take into consideration the point of view of the author, because if the Baby Boom

generation continues to fail in society, then it will be a domino effect for generations to come. It

may seem unfair to place all the blame on our current generation for the fail of our economy, or

the ongoing war, but the lack of effort that they have shown to turn things around is very slim.

It's clear that Kinsley is embarrassed and wants to redeem what little the Boomers have

accomplished throughout the years before things start adding up. This is important for the

numerous generations approaching, our economy, and everyone living in it. Kinsley's article

really challenges what can be done to save the Boomers from such a horrible past, and look

positively into the future. His approach for this article was for Baby Boomers to feel criticized

and realize their lack of efforts.

8

What’s the Difference?

My most successful article response consists of the article, “The Least We Can Do.” This

article response is about an article that goes over what little of contributions the Baby Boomers

generation has made to our society as a whole. It also presents reasons on why they should clear

the “failed” term they have earned themselves, as well as ideas on what needs to be done to

become more of a successful generation before it’s too late. The response I made for this article

received a grade of nine out of ten. In the first paragraph, I discussed the frustrating opinion that

Michael Kinsley seems to illustrate throughout the article, and the concerns he has regarding

what impression the Baby Boomers lack of efforts may have on future generations. This

paragraph also included quotes made by Kinsley to provide specific examples of his particular

point of view. It’s clear that his article was written in efforts to bring into context how worthless

the Baby Boom generation has been, and what efforts they need to start making to not only save

themselves, but our economy as well. The second paragraph concentrates on why it’s important

to take into consideration the point of view Kinsley portrays through the article. His article

certainly heavily criticizes the Baby Boomers, but in a more encouraging, self sufficient way.

Kinsley’s point of view challenges readers, especially those of the Baby Boom generation, to

realize their certain faults and why they should turn their failures into success to help lead to a

more positive future. He seems confident that the Baby Boomers can undo the “Baby Doomers”

perception they have earned, with the right amount of willpower. It really gets the readers

thinking about what efforts can be made to achieve this goal. My response provided all the

information needed, but didn’t necessarily hit all the main requirements.

My least successful article response included the article, “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath

No Limits.” This article response discusses an article that focuses on how wasteful Americans

9

have started to become with our resources, and the impact this issue has made on the economy,

as well as what it means for our future. I earned a six out of ten on this article response. For the

first paragraph, I identified Wendell Berry’s point of view throughout the article and the opinion

that he reveals about Americans irresponsibility and over usage with their certain wants and

needs. I also included quotes made by Berry that helped shape his opinion towards this issue. He

seems angered about the fact that Americans are greedy, and that they will continue this trend

until there is nothing left. This article was written in means of acknowledging that this idea of

everything being limitless needs to be put to an end, also in hopes to open the eyes of these

wasteful Americans before its too late and we run out of resources. In the second paragraph, I

discussed why Berry’s point of view is even worth considering and the impact it should have on

people. I included what the future may look like if Americans don’t begin to change their

wasteful ways, and maybe start contemplating the difference between a want and a need. Berry

challenges the readers to become less of a wasteful society and much more preserving. This

article response lacked some information, major details and didn’t particularly follow the length

requirements.

After reviewing both of my article responses, I realized a significant improvement from

my first article response to the second. Not only just the three point jump from a six to a nine out

of ten, but also I seemed to be more knowledgeable about the topic discussed in my second

article response. However, just because I received a higher score on my second response, doesn’t

necessarily mean certain weaknesses aren’t present like they are throughout my first response. In

“Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits,” I seemed to be confused on the specific point of

view the author had, and rambled on for two paragraphs about a topic I wasn’t exactly

connecting with. Although both paragraphs seemed to go off topic and lack of detail, the second

10

paragraph didn’t correctly justify the importance of the author’s point of view as well as I should

have. While in “The Least We Can Do,” I hit the key elements portrayed throughout the author’s

point of view and went into greater detail about why it’s important to consider this issue. I also

included several quotes that helped support the author’s point of view. I regret not receiving help

to determine why this article response didn’t get the perfect score I thought it would get, and to

help perfect future responses.

11

Least Successful Article Response

Wastefulness vsvs. Reality

Berry, Wendell. “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits.” Harper’s Magazine. The Harper's

Magazine Foundation, May 2008. Web. 20 31 AugDec. 2011 2009.

In the article "Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits,"Wendell Berry, author of the

article “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits,” brings into context the ongoing issue of

Americans who have started to become Wendell Berry's point of view generally states that

Americans are starting to become more wasteful than ever before. Berry’s point of view towards

this issue seems to be disgusted and embarrassed of the fact that Americans have developed this

so called idea of limitlessness He seems to be focusing on the fact that the American way of life

is apparently indestructible. He states, “The dominant response, in short, is a dogged belief that

what we call the American Way of Life will prove somehow indestructible.” This He mentions

that "the real names of global warming are waste and greed," view appears which seems to be

true due to the fact that we will keep on wasting, consuming, and spending until we have nothing

leftne. Berry is basically sayingBerry realizes that we Americans are blinded by the fact that we

are foolish with our use of resources, and seem to think everything is limitlesshave this made up

belief of limitlessness inside our heads. With this idea of limitlessness, he states that this includes

"limitless growth, wants, wealth, natural resources, energy, and debt."There are many root causes

of this idea that may have first stemmed from the Industrial Revolution when unlimited resources

started to rise, or maybe it’s our heavy reliance on the never ending increase of science and

technology that has us always wanting more. Whatever the reason, it’s relevant that Berry’s point

of view is concerned about the influence this crazy idea is having on our society, and Americans

must start limiting their limitlessness if there is any hopes of a promising future. In order to

Formatted: Font: Italic

Comment [GSC1]: The topic sentence lacked detail of what the author discussed throughout the article.

Comment [GSC2]: His overall point of view needed to described in a better format, with more descriptive words that help the reader understand this view.

Comment [GSC3]: More quotes needed to be provided to get a full understanding of his point of view without just restating what he said in my own words.

Comment [GSC4]: This sentence needed to be in a different place to form a better paragraph.

Comment [GSC5]: Sentence needed better structure and more depth.

12

recover from this so called “disease” of limitlessness, Berry states that “We must learn again to

ask how we can make the most of what we are, what we have, what we have been given.”

Americans seem to confuse the definition of wants and needs by turning all of our wants into

dying, unnecessary needs. It's also important for Americans to begin realizing that we are

"limited creatures in a limited world." It's obvious that Berry seems wishes to improve how

irresponsible Americans have become with our resources before we keep continuing on to a

wasteful future. to show nothing but anger towards the American way of life and how we are

continuing to a wasteful future.

Berry makes his argument very clear,Throughout the article, Berry’s point of view

appears to be frustrated and annoyed towards how wasteful Americans have become. It’s

important to take his point of view into consideration because if Americans don’t end this idea of

limitlessness very soon, we will become a country with nothing left. Berry states, “Where there

is no more, our choice is to make the most and best out of what we have.” Since we have already

used up half of our country’s supply of resources, Berry implies multiple times what needs to be

done in order to reserve all that we have left. and it really gets you thinking how you yourself

are making an impact on this current issue in the world. Americans need to begin realizing that

now is not the time to be wasteful and greedy, due to the continuing increase of gas prices and

how our everyday activities have a heavy impact on the global warming phenomenon. To many

readers Berry's argument may seem harsh, yet it is also extremely rational. It's importantHe

challenges his readers to recognize to take into consideration that we were only blessed with one

world, and this idea of an unlimited society is only make believe. Americans must begin to

modify their selfish and wasteful ways, if they have any hopes of the near future. His approach in

the article is to criticize Americans for their irresponsible actions by illustrating the

Comment [GSC6]: These sentences needed to be added in order to give the paragraph more length by providing quotes from the author and by providing the importance of why the reader should consider the authors point of view.

Comment [GSC7]: The concluding sentence lacked detail and needed more depth to keep the reader interested.

Comment [GSC8]: These sentences gave the paragraph more length and quotes from the author to help consider why his point of view is important.

13

consequences they will be faced with if changes are not made. Wendell Berry's argument seems

to be hopeful that Americans will take this article into perspective and help turn around the

current downward spiral of the economy.

Comment [GSC9]: The sentence gives the reader knowledge about the importance of this article.

14

Least Successful Article Response

Wastefulness vs. Reality

Berry, Wendell. “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits.” Harper’s Magazine. The Harper's

Magazine Foundation, May 2008. Web. 20 Aug. 2011.

Wendell Berry, author of the article “Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits,” brings

into context the ongoing issue of Americans who have started to become more wasteful than ever

before. Berry’s point of view towards this issue seems to be disgusted and embarrassed of the

fact that Americans have developed this so called idea of limitlessness He states, “The dominant

response, in short, is a dogged belief that what we call the American Way of Life will prove

somehow indestructible.” This view appears to be true due to the fact that we will keep on

wasting, consuming, and spending until we have nothing left. Berry realizes that we Americans

are blinded by the fact that we are foolish with our use of resources, and have this made up belief

of limitlessness inside our heads. There are many root causes of this idea that may have first

stemmed from the Industrial Revolution when unlimited resources started to rise, or maybe it’s

our heavy reliance on the never ending increase of science and technology that has us always

wanting more. Whatever the reason, it’s relevant that Berry’s point of view is concerned about

the influence this crazy idea is having on our society, and Americans must start limiting their

limitlessness if there is any hopes of a promising future. In order to recover from this so called

“disease” of limitlessness, Berry states that “We must learn again to ask how we can make the

most of what we are, what we have, what we have been given.” Americans seem to confuse the

definition of wants and needs by turning all of our wants into dying, unnecessary needs. It's

obvious that Berry wishes to improve how irresponsible Americans have become with our

resources before we keep continuing on to a wasteful future.

15

Throughout the article, Berry’s point of view appears to be frustrated and annoyed

towards how wasteful Americans have become. It’s important to take his point of view into

consideration because if Americans don’t end this idea of limitlessness very soon, we will

become a country with nothing left. Berry states, “Where there is no more, our choice is to make

the most and best out of what we have.” Since we have already used up half of our country’s

supply of resources, Berry implies multiple times what needs to be done in order to reserve all

that we have left. Americans need to begin realizing that now is not the time to be wasteful and

greedy, due to the continuing increase of gas prices and how our everyday activities have a

heavy impact on the global warming phenomenon. To many readers Berry's argument may seem

harsh, yet it is also extremely rational. He challenges his readers to recognize that we were only

blessed with one world, and this idea of an unlimited society is only make believe. Americans

must begin to modify their selfish and wasteful ways, if they have any hopes of the near future.

His approach in the article is to criticize Americans for their irresponsible actions by illustrating

the consequences they will be faced with if changes are not made. Wendell Berry's argument

seems to be hopeful that Americans will take this article into perspective and help turn around

the current downward spiral of the economy.

16

Formatted: Centered

Most Successful Article Response

Baby Doomers

Kinsley, Michael. "The Least We Can Do." The Atlantic. The Atlantic Monthly Group, October

2010. Web. 9 September 2011.

In Michael Kinsley's article, "The Least We Can Do"Throughout the article, the author he

introduces the ongoing issue on what the famous Baby Boomers generation hasve and hasve yet

to offer to our current and future society. Michael Kinsley's point of view towards the Boomers

is nothing but anger and disappointment. He mentions that this generation is viewed as a "self-

absorbed, self-indulgent and just plain selfish culture." The Boomers, being children of the so

called "Greatest Generation" may have a lot to live up to; due to the fact that their parents dealt

with the Great Depression, World War II, and overcame Communism. It seems a little

contradictory to have come from such successful parents, to end up being a complete failure of a

generation. Boomers have yet to accomplish anything worth recognizing besides the enormous,

endless piles of debt that they can't seem to pull themselves out of and the current never ending

War with Iraq. It's clear that the author cannot bear to watch this new generation become such

failures any longer. Boomers have yet to accomplish anything worth recognizing besides the

enormous, endless piles of debt that they can't seem to pull themselves out of and the current

never ending War with Iraq. When Kinsley mentions, "Iin the world that Boomers will pass

along to their children, America is widely held in contempt, prosperity looks to more and more

people like a mirage, and things are generally going to hell" he seems to show deep concern for

what Boomers are leaving behind for future generations to come. It's relevant that he is worried

about what impression the effortless Boomers are having on todaystoday’s society, as well as the

approaching generations. He also mentions how frightening it is that they have come to realized

Formatted

Comment [GSC1]: Including the title of the article was just needed to add length to the paragraph and not needed.

Comment [GSC2]: Needed to be included instead of having the paragraph lead off task.

Comment [GSC3]: This sentence flowed better by being placed here.

17

Formatted: Centered

all of the problems that they have're beening faced with and have still continued to let everything

fall apart. He makes the reader recognize that at some point the pieces need to be picked up off

the ground, and the Boomers need to take responsibility for their effortless actions. Kinsley's

point of view shows that all he wants is for the Baby Boom generation to prove themselves, and

rid the "failed" impression that they have earned themselves.

When taking into consideration the point of view that Kinsley portrays in this article,

many, if not all Baby Boomers may feel extremely insulted. The irony of his degrading thoughts

towards the quote on quote "failed" generation is that he in fact is a Boomer himself. The issue

with this is that he seems to be ridiculing his own generation. Although some readers may think

to themselves "how would a middle-class, average American be able to solve this problem?" but

that's not the impression Kinsley is trying to put on people. It may seem unfair to place all the

blame on our current generation for the fail of our economy, or the ongoing war, but the lack of

effort that they have shown to turn things around is very It'sslim. It’s important to take into

consideration the point of view of the author, because if the Baby Boom generation continues to

fail in society, then it will be a domino effect for generations to come. It may seem unfair to

place all the blame on our current generation for the fail of our economy, or the ongoing war, but

the lack of effort that they have shown to turn things around is very slim. It's clear that Kinsley is

embarrassed and wants to redeem what little the Boomers have accomplished throughout the

years before things start adding up. This is important for the numerous generations approaching,

our economy, and everyone living in it. Kinsley's article really challenges what can be done to

save the Boomers from such a horrible past, and look positively into the future. His approach for

this article was for Baby Boomers to feel criticized and realize their lack of efforts in hopes of

becoming more of a successful generation in the future. .

Comment [GSC4]: Tense was misused.

Comment [GSC5]: This sentence gave more reasoning for the point of view of the author.

Comment [GSC6]: This sentence had better placement here, and flowed more with the previous sentence than where it was placed before.

Comment [GSC7]: The conclusion needed more depth and detail to leave the reader with a lasting impression.

18

Most Successful Article Response

Baby Doomers

Kinsley, Michael. "The Least We Can Do." The Atlantic. The Atlantic Monthly Group, October

2010. Web. 9 September 2011.

In Michael Kinsley's article, "The Least We Can Do" Throughout the article, the author

he introduces the ongoing issue on what the famous Baby Boomers generation has and has yet to

offer to our current and future society. Michael Kinsley's point of view towards the Boomers is

nothing but anger and disappointment. He mentions that this generation is viewed as a "self-

absorbed, self-indulgent and just plain selfish culture." The Boomers, being children of the so

called "Greatest Generation" may have a lot to live up to; due to the fact that their parents dealt

with the Great Depression, World War II, and overcame Communism. It seems a little

contradictory to have come from such successful parents, to end up being a complete failure of a

generation. Boomers have yet to accomplish anything worth recognizing besides the enormous,

endless piles of debt that they can't seem to pull themselves out of and the current never ending

War with Iraq. It's clear that the author cannot bear to watch this new generation become such

failures any longer. Boomers have yet to accomplish anything worth recognizing besides the

enormous, endless piles of debt that they can't seem to pull themselves out of and the current

never ending War with Iraq. When Kinsley mentions, "In the world that Boomers will pass along

to their children, America is widely held in contempt, prosperity looks to more and more people

like a mirage, and things are generally going to hell" he seems to show deep concern for what

Boomers are leaving behind for future generations to come. It's relevant that he is worried about

what impression the effortless Boomers are having on today’s society, as well as the approaching

generations. He also mentions how frightening it is that they have come to realize all of the

19

problems that they have' been faced with and have still continued to let everything fall apart. He

makes the reader recognize that at some point the pieces need to be picked up off the ground, and

the Boomers need to take responsibility for their effortless actions. Kinsley's point of view

shows that all he wants is for the Baby Boom generation to prove themselves, and rid the "failed"

impression that they have earned themselves.

When taking into consideration the point of view that Kinsley portrays in this article,

many, if not all Baby Boomers may feel extremely insulted. The irony of his degrading thoughts

towards the quote on quote "failed" generation is that he in fact is a Boomer himself. The issue

with this is that he seems to be ridiculing his own generation. Although some readers may think

to themselves "how would a middle-class, average American be able to solve this problem?" but

that's not the impression Kinsley is trying to put on people. It may seem unfair to place all the

blame on our current generation for the fail of our economy, or the ongoing war, but the lack of

effort that they have shown to turn things around is very slim. It’s important to take into

consideration the point of view of the author, because if the Baby Boom generation continues to

fail in society, then it will be a domino effect for generations to come. It may seem unfair to

place all the blame on our current generation for the fail of our economy, or the ongoing war, but

the lack of effort that they have shown to turn things around is very slim. It's clear that Kinsley is

embarrassed and wants to redeem what little the Boomers have accomplished throughout the

years before things start adding up. This is important for the numerous generations approaching,

our economy, and everyone living in it. Kinsley's article really challenges what can be done to

save the Boomers from such a horrible past, and look positively into the future. His approach for

this article was for Baby Boomers to feel criticized and realize their lack of efforts in hopes of

becoming more of a successful generation in the future. .

Fruit

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Natalie Fruit

Professor Horton

English 1101

28 September 2011

The Disease That Always Wins: Cuts Aa Life Short

Throughout the world, many people have experienced theThe sudden and unexpected news of

learning a loved one or close friend has been diagnosed with cancer, and while sadly, nothing can be

done to repair the damage that’s already been made; this may lead to feelings of helplessness and

guilt. seems to have become a reoccurring theme in millions of families’ households every year. “It

takes courage-not serenity-to accept what can’t be changed when that is the imminence of death. That

much was already clear. Battlers against cancer are always called brave, as though non-fighters

aren’t.” In the article “To Accept What Cannot Be Helped” by Ann Hulbert, she reflects back to what

she was not able to change when her eighty-year-old mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. The

news was heartbreaking for her family, but her mother seemed to be the least bit concerned with

learning her life would soon be simplified to just a few months. Although the option of chemotherapy

and radiation were available, she refused to accept any help from the doctors. She didn’t see the need

in racking up immense medical bills for someone thatwhen she was only guaranteed less than a year

to live. Ann and her family realized that arguing their dying mothers wants was unnecessaryrisky,

instead fulfilling her wishes was the best they could do to satisfy her. As each day passed, the feeling

of helplessness arose while she watched her mother desperately want to let go. It appeared that the

pain was unbearable and the struggle to fight for hera life was slowly coming to an end. After a long

six months after being diagnosed, her mother who willingly fought the battle of cancercancer sadly

lost.

Formatted

Comment [GSC1]: Thetopicsentenceofthisparagraphneededmoredepththatitwaslacking.

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As I read this articletook this article into consideration, it brought back memoriesflashbacks of a

friend from high school named Amanda Riley, who was diagnosed with cancer during our sophomore

year. Ever since I met her in elementary school, she had always been active in sports and especially

known for her amazing basketball talents. Amanda was also well known for her outgoing personality,

kindness, and beauty. I can remember sitting at lunch during sophomore year and hearing the news

that Amanda had been diagnosed with the awful terrifying disease of cancer, although at that time I

did not realize the extent of it all. Doctors classified her cancer as rhabdomyosarcoma after they

found a tumor in her bladder and pelvic area, which then lead to the lungs and bones. The chances of

her surviving were only about 30%, but Amanda was not about to give up. Although the numerous

treatments of chemo and radiation would take up to several months to help cure Amanda, she was

willing to fight as hard as she could against this disease. In between hospital visits and weeks of bed

rest, Amanda used all thenever stopped the efforts of effort she could to attending school and church

as often as she could.Her everlasting courage had an enormous influence over everyone that knew of

her Her courage and strength influenced not just the graduating class of 2011, leading but the entire

school to come together and begian to create fundraisers, charity events, and anything we that could

to help Amanda and her family. As the long months of struggle to fight slowly reduced to a matter of

days, Amanda’s battle with cancer had come to a devastating end.ended. While I sat at her funeral

with hundreds of my classmates, I had emotions of helplessness and anger, wondering why all thedo

bad things happen to good people?people. Although Amanda may not have won the fight with cancer,

but she will ’ll always be a winner to us no matter what.

Given just a 30%thirty percent chance of survival, Amanda was not going to let that stop her

from fighting. Beginning in March of 2009, she started her first rounds of several months of

treatment. Lasting almost forty-two weeks, she encountered fourteen rounds of chemo, thirty rounds

Comment [GSC2]: Structuringthissentencecorrectlygivesbetterdetail.

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Formatted: Centered

of radiation, and multiple blood transfusions. Almost a year later in January of 2010, the doctors

declared that she was cancer free, but also mentioned it still had a 70% chance of returning and it

would be nearly fatal. The news brought Amanda’s family mixed emotions of happiness, hope, and

fear all at once. In just a few short weeks, Amanda found herself back in the hospital after having

extreme pains throughout her body. Her parent’s worst fear seemed to be coming true, again. Back at

what nearly seemed like theirto be nothing short of their second home, doctors found that a tumor had

traveled to her spinal cord. With efforts of surgery to remove it and another twenty-five rounds of

radiation, Amanda and her family could only hope and pray for a positive outcome. Unfortunately,

the doctors delivered news that they were not anticipating to hear. The cancer had continued to spread

throughout her entire spinal cord, eventually leading to and covering her entire brain. Feeling

powerless as they watched their own daughter struggle for her life, her parents rested all their faith in

the Lord to do the right thing. Although However, it seemed that as hard aseven with as hard as

Amanda fought, the cancer would was ultimately going to be the winner of this never-ending battle.

While mMost teenagers dread goingstruggle with having to go to school or church, but

Amanda didn’t take anything for granted and made every effort possible to attend both while in and

out of many treatments.Amanda was determined not to be like other cancer patients who seem to

treat cancer as a major setback in their life; while she continued to treat it as a little scab in hopes of it

to heal. It was She important for her towas not allow going to allow cancer to stop her from doing

anything she wanted to do. She sat right behind me in my guided study class of junior year and by

then she was wearing a wig, but she definitely rocked it. It was always nice to see her when she had

her random spurts of coming to class. I’m sad to say I lost touch with her after middle school, and our

conversations seemed to be very vague during class. Instead of just being friendly enough to talk to

her, I seemed to be intimidated by her bravery and strength, but also scared she may have thought I

Comment [GSC3]: Thissentenceneededmorestructuretobecomemoresuccessfulofatopicsentence.

Comment [GSC4]: Addingthissentencegavetheparagraphmoredetailandunderstandingofthetopicsentence.

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was judging her by having wandering eyes. As we all found out the news of her disease, her support

team throughout our entire high school became truly inspiring to be apart of. When Amanda was first

diagnosed, one of her best guy friends created an entire fundraising event where people could

purchase baked goods, t-shirts and other items where all profits went towards Amanda’s family. Also,

guys and girls were able to pay to get their haircut, and donate to Locks of Love. Even though

Amanda had just started treatment and was fresh out of the hospital, she still made it a point to attend

this special event that was made just for her. It was heartbreaking to watch her in apale, weak body be

pushed in a wheel chair wearing her and hospital gown, but she still kept that huge smile on her face

as she watched her dad and basketball coach get their buzz cuts. As I looked around at many of my

classmates with new haircuts, I started to think if the sickness of another student was the only way for

all of us to come together. At the time we didn’t realize how high the chances were of uswe could

possibly be losing a classmate, but every time that I was able to watch her be healthy enough to walk

into class, I was definitely reassurreassured of the facting that she was thankfully still with us.

Pain and weakness was never going to be an obstacle for Amanda and she would fight until the

very end. The long days of chemo and radiation lasting weeks at a time eventually took its toll on

Amanda’s struggling body. She soon started to realize that she wouldas no longer be able to fight the

struggle for her life that had been going on for since the past year. With multiple visits to and from

the hospital, Amanda made her very last on March 27th. Even though she was given only a

70%seventy percent chance to live, she gave it 100%a hundred percent to fight against that small

chance. After entering the hospital, it became aware to her family and friends that the battle was

quickly coming going to be coming to an end. On April 9th, Amanda gave her brittle body a rest,

took her last breathes in this world, and went with Jesus to her brand new home. Cancer may have

won this horrifying fight, but Amanda won in the fact that she is finally relieved of pain and sickness.

Comment [GSC5]: Insertingthissentencehelpedgomoreintodetailaboutthecertainsituationpresentedinthesentencebefore.Insteadofjumpingtoanothertopicandleadingthereadtobecomeconfusedwithsentencetransitions.

Comment [GSC6]: Addingmoredescriptiveadjectivesprovidesmoredetailaboutthesituation.

Comment [GSC7]: Changingnumberstowrittenoutwordsismorematureinanessay.

Comment [GSC8]: Justifyingthissentencehelpsthereaderfeelmoreinvolvedintheissue,feelingmoreconnectedwithwhatwasbeingpresented.

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Sadness and anger filled the hospital room as Amanda took her last breath, but in the end no one

enjoys watching a loved one struggle for their life. Finding out that Amanda had lost her life with

cancer was very upsetting, and I wish that such awful things did not happen to the best of people.

That is one thing concept that I will never fully understand, but everything does happen for a reason..

As we threw our caps up into the air, I I wished that Amandashe could havvee been to receive her

diploma along with the rest of us at apart of our graduation day, but I know she was turning her tassel

up in Heaven with us. Amanda left an everlasting impact on so many people, and it was difficult to

see such an amazing girl leave us. However iIn the end, she was the strongesta fighter I know and no

matter what the outcome, a cancer wasn’t the winner of that battle, Amanda was. no matter the

outcome.

Sitting through her funeral, I wanted to be angry and disappointed to the fact that this had to

happen to such an awesome person, and why not the mean kids who beat up people in school

bathrooms or steal kids lunch money?? As I grow up, I’ve realized not to take life for granted and

never sweat the small stuff. Whether you’re an 80 year old with cancer ready to pull the plug, or a 17

year old fighting to survive, never give up on a beautiful thing that we’ve all been given called life.

She may not have been able to fulfill her dreams of going to the University of Georgia and becoming

a third grade teacher like she wanted, but she’s left with a much larger impact than that. It’s a

reassuring factor that I know she’ll be teaching little third grade children up in Heaven, because this

may not be the future she always expected, but this is exactly where God wanted her to be. Amanda

never seemed angered towards her disease, and during the service her mom quoted her saying “He

picked me to get cancer because I’m strong enough to handle it.” Although no one understands why

cancer occurs, it’s inspiring that she was accepting of her disease and treated it as a minor cold than a

life threatening illness. CancerCancer may have taken Amanda from her family and friends, but she

Comment [GSC9]: Thissentencewasimportanttomodifybecauseoftheemotionputintowhatisbeingsaid.

Comment [GSC10]: Thesentenceneededtobeaddedtogivemoreinsightonthesituation,andmoredepthtohelpthereaderconnect.

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left us with her courage and strength that she fought so hard with. I think about her from time to time,

wishing she could experience college life with us and ,seeing how much of a baller she would have

been, but everything happens for a reason whether we are willing to accept it or not.

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Works Cited

Hulbert, Ann. “To Accept What Cannot Be Helped.” The American Scholar. Phi Beta Kappa,

December 2011. Web. 25 September 2011.

27

Natalie Fruit

Professor Horton

English 1101

28 September 2011

The Disease That Always Wins: Cuts a Life Short

Throughout the world, many people have experienced the sudden and unexpected news

of learning a loved one or close friend has been diagnosed with cancer, and while sadly, nothing

can be done to repair the damage that’s already been made; this may lead to feelings of

helplessness and guilt. “It takes courage-not serenity-to accept what can’t be changed when that

is the imminence of death. That much was already clear. Battlers against cancer are always

called brave, as though non-fighters aren’t.” In the article “To Accept What Cannot Be Helped”

by Ann Hulbert, she reflects back to what she was not able to change when her eighty-year-old

mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. The news was heartbreaking for her family, but her

mother seemed to be the least bit concerned with learning her life would soon be simplified to

just a few months. Although the option of chemotherapy and radiation were available, she

refused to accept any help from the doctors. She didn’t see the need in racking up immense

medical bills for someone when she was only guaranteed less than a year to live. Ann and her

family realized that arguing their dying mothers wants was unnecessary, instead fulfilling her

wishes was the best they could do to satisfy her. As each day passed, the feeling of helplessness

arose while she watched her mother desperately want to let go. It appeared that the pain was

unbearable and the struggle to fight for her life was slowly coming to an end. After a long six

months after being diagnosed, her mother who willingly fought the battle of cancer sadly lost.

28

As I read this took this article into consideration, it brought back memories of a friend

from high school named Amanda Riley, who was diagnosed with cancer during our sophomore

year. Ever since I met her in elementary school, she had always been active in sports and

especially known for her amazing basketball talents. Amanda was also well known for her

outgoing personality, kindness, and beauty. I can remember sitting at lunch during sophomore

year and hearing the news that Amanda had been diagnosed with the awful terrifying disease of

cancer, although at that time I did not realize the extent of it all. Doctors classified her cancer as

rhabdomyosarcoma after they found a tumor in her bladder and pelvic area, which then lead to

the lungs and bones. The chances of her surviving were only about thirty percent, but Amanda

was not about to give up. Although the numerous treatments of chemo and radiation would take

up to several months to help cure Amanda, she was willing to fight as hard as she could against

this disease. In between hospital visits and weeks of bed rest, Amanda never stopped using all

the effort she could to attend school and church as often as she could. Her everlasting courage

had an enormous influence over everyone that knew of her,, leading the entire school to come

together and begin to create fundraisers, charity events, and anything we that could to help

Amanda and her family . As the long months of struggle to fight slowly reduced to a matter of

days, Amanda’s battle with cancer had come to a devastating end. While I sat at her funeral with

hundreds of my classmates, I had emotions of helplessness and anger, wondering why all do the

bad things happen to good people. Although Amanda may not have won the fight with cancer,

but she will always be a winner to us no matter what.

Given just a thirty percent chance of survival, Amanda was not going to let that stop her

from fighting. Beginning in March of 2009, she started her first rounds of several months of

treatment. Lasting almost forty-two weeks, she encountered fourteen rounds of chemo, thirty

29

rounds of radiation, and multiple blood transfusions. Almost a year later in January of 2010, the

doctors declared that she was cancer free, but also mentioned it still had a seventy percent chance

of returning and it would be nearly fatal. The news brought Amanda’s family mixed emotions of

happiness, hope, and fear all at once. In just a few short weeks, Amanda found herself back in

the hospital after having extreme pains throughout her body. Her parent’s worst fear seemed to

be coming true, again. Back at what nearly seemed like to be nothing short of their second home,

doctors found that a tumor had traveled to her spinal cord. With efforts of surgery to remove it

and another twenty-five rounds of radiation, Amanda and her family could only hope and pray

for a positive outcome. Unfortunately, the doctors delivered news that they were not anticipating

to hear. The cancer had continued to spread throughout her entire spinal cord, eventually leading

to and covering her entire brain. Feeling powerless as they watched their own daughter struggle

for her life, her parents rested all their faith in the Lord to do the right thing. Although however,

it seemed that with as hard as Amanda fought, the cancer would was ultimately going to be the

winner of this never-ending battle.

While most teenagers struggle with having to go to school or church, Amanda didn’t take

anything for granted and made every effort possible to attend both while in and out of many

treatments. Amanda was determined not to be like other cancer patients who seem to treat cancer

as a major setback in their life; while she continued to treat it as a little scab in hopes of it to

heal. It was important for her to not allow cancer to stop her from doing anything she wanted to

do. She sat right behind me in my guided study class of junior year and by then she was wearing

a wig, but she definitely rocked it. It was always nice to see her when she had her random spurts

of coming to class. I’m sad to say I lost touch with her after middle school, and our conversations

seemed to be very vague during class. Instead of just being friendly enough to talk to her, I

30

seemed to be intimidated by her bravery and strength, but also scared she may have thought I

was judging her by having wandering eyes. As we all found out the news of her disease, her

support team throughout our entire high school became truly inspiring to be apart of. When

Amanda was first diagnosed, one of her best guy friends created an entire fundraising event

where people could purchase baked goods, t-shirts and other items where all profits went

towards Amanda’s family. Also, guys and girls were able to pay to get their haircut, and donate

to Locks of Love. Even though Amanda had just started treatment and was fresh out of the

hospital, she still made it a point to attend this special event that was made just for her. It was

heartbreaking to watch her in pale, weak body be pushed in a wheel chair wearing her and

hospital gown, but she still kept that huge smile on her face as she watched her dad and

basketball coach get their buzz cuts. As I looked around at many of my classmates with new

haircuts, I started to think if the sickness of another student was the only way for all of us to

come together. At the time we didn’t realize how high the chances were that we could possibly

be losing a classmate, but every time that I was able to watch her be healthy enough to walk into

class, I was definitely reassured of the fact that she was thankfully still with us.

Pain and weakness was never going to be an obstacle for Amanda and she would fight

until the very end. The long days of chemo and radiation lasting weeks at a time eventually took

its toll on Amanda’s struggling body. She soon started to realize that she would no longer be able

to fight the struggle for her life that had been going on for since the past year. With multiple

visits to and from the hospital, Amanda made her very last on March 27th. Even though she was

given only a seventy percent chance to live, she gave it a hundred percent to fight against that

small chance. After entering the hospital, it became aware to her family and friends that the

battle was quickly coming going to be coming to an end. On April 9th, Amanda gave her brittle

31

body a rest, took her last breathes in this world, and went with Jesus to her brand new home.

Cancer may have won this horrifying fight, but Amanda won in the fact that she is finally

relieved of pain and sickness. Sadness and anger filled the hospital room as Amanda took her last

breath, but in the end no one enjoys watching a loved one struggle for their life. Finding out that

Amanda had lost her life with cancer was very upsetting, and I wish that such awful things did

not happen to the best of people. That is one thing concept that I will never fully understand, but

everything does happen for a reason. As we threw our caps up into the air, I wished that Amanda

could have been there to receive her diploma along with the rest of us at our graduation day, but I

know she was turning her tassel up in Heaven with us. Amanda left an everlasting impact on so

many people, and it was difficult to see such an amazing girl leave us. However in the end, she

was the strongest fighter I know and no matter what the outcome, cancer wasn’t the winner of

that battle, Amanda was.

Sitting through her funeral, I wanted to be angry and disappointed to the fact that this had

to happen to such an awesome person, and why not the mean kids who beat up people in school

bathrooms or steal kids lunch money? As I grow up, I’ve realized not to take life for granted and

never sweat the small stuff. Whether you’re an eighty year old with cancer ready to pull the plug,

or a seventeen year old fighting to survive, never give up on a beautiful thing that we’ve all been

given called life. She may not have been able to fulfill her dreams of going to the University of

Georgia and becoming a third grade teacher like she wanted, but she’s left with a much larger

impact than that. It’s a reassuring factor that I know she’ll be teaching little third grade children

up in Heaven, because this may not be the future she always expected, but this is exactly where

God wanted her to be. Amanda never seemed angered towards her disease, and during the

service her mom quoted her saying “He picked me to get cancer because I’m strong enough to

32

handle it.” Although no one understands why cancer occurs, it’s inspiring that she was accepting

of her disease and treated it as a minor cold than a life threatening illness. Cancer may have

taken Amanda from her family and friends, but she left us with her courage and strength that she

fought so hard with. I think about her from time to time, wishing she could experience college

life with us and, seeing how much of a baller she would have been, but everything happens for a

reason whether we are willing to accept it or not.

Works Cited

Hulbert, Ann. “To Accept What Cannot Be Helped.” The American Scholar. Phi Beta Kappa,

December 2011. Web. 25 September 2011.