Mission: Empowering individuals to create quality conversations and thereby improve the quality of their life.

Crucial Conversations, Tools for Talking When Stakes are High written by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillian & Al Switzler

Crucial Conversations

Crucial Conversations

• Competence

• Excellence

• Positivity

Crucial Conversations

Have you ever been in deep weeds with a conversation?

• High Stakes• Opposing Opinions• Strong Emotions

Be On the

Lookout!

Crucial Conversations

Fight:ControllingLabelingAttacking

Flight:MaskingAvoidingWithdrawing

The Sucker’s Choice

Truth

vs.

Relationship

Shared Pool of Meaning(Dialogue)

Role Play #1• You ask your roommate to move her

things in the refrigerator off your shelves,

and onto hers.

• You thought it was no big deal,

simply a request to share the space

evenly, and you went to all the

trouble to label each shelf.

• You have no hidden agenda. You like

this roommate a great deal.

• She comes back with: “There you go

again, telling me how to run my life.”

• I can’t change the vacuum cleaner bag

without you jumping in and giving me

advice.”

Unhealthy Goals:To WinTo Be RightTo Look GoodTo Save FaceTo PunishTo BlameKeep the PeaceAvoid Conflict

Healthy Goals:To LearnFind the TruthProduce ResultsStrengthen Relationship

Motives Matter

Master My

Stories

Heart ProblemsWhat We

Can DoHold

Stories Lightly

Mother Daughter Video

Time to Practice!

Role Play #2• Customer calls into the service center, says he wants to deposit a

large check, then use it to buy a car. He is told to make the deposit, and a supervisor will release the money for him on the next business day.

• Customer makes a $37,000 deposit 2/19 (Friday).• He needs the funds released 2/22 (Monday) for the purchase of a

car.• He calls in irate that we can’t release his funds.• We ask for a copy of his check.• He says he doesn’t have a copy– no one told him he needed it!

Use what you have learned so far to de-escalate this call.

Our Stories are the Master Key Salomeh Diaz

05/03/2023 16

Contrasting Statements

Use “Don’t” Statements to express what you did not __________or_________.

Use “Do” Statements to confirm ________ and _____________.

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Make the Conversation Safe: • Apologize• Use Contrast• Create Mutual Purpose

Role Play #3

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Respond to the following statements with your partner:

• “You come prancing in here like you own the place.”

• “Never mind; if you think the white one looks better, I guess you

know what’s best.”

• “You’re not going to actually send that letter are you?”

• (Looking upset and discouraged.) “Don’t worry. I’m just fine.”

• “One more stunt like that and I’m going to the boss.”

• Our Stories are the Master Key

• Paths to Success

• Conversation Planner

• Mission

Crucial Conversations

• Competence

• Excellence

• Positivity

Crucial Conversations