Crafting Sentences

  • View
    17

  • Download
    0

Embed Size (px)

Text of Crafting Sentences

  • 1

    Crafting Sentences, Constructing Paragraphs

    Emphasizing Ideas Within each sentence, emphasize your point by expressing it in the subject and verb.

    Prefer active verbs over passive verbs. Be Verb: A surge of power was responsible for the destruction of the computers CPU.

    Passive: The computers CPU was destroyed by a surge of power.

    Active: A surge of power destroyed the computers CPU.

    Choose a subject that names the person or thing doing the action. Weak: Exposure to Ms. Tapias excellent teaching had the effect of inspiring me to major in English.

    Emphatic: Ms. Tapias excellent teaching inspired me to major in English.

    Use punctuation for emphasis. Weak: The middle of the road has a white line where its the worst place to drive.

    Emphatic: The middle of the road is where the white line isand thats the worst place to drive.

  • 2

    Coordinating Equal Ideas

    To coordinate single words or phrases, join them with a conjunction or use a semicolon (;) for independent clauses.

    and, but, so, for, yet, or, nor Accompany a semicolon with any of the following conjunctive adverbs or transitional phrases:

    however, therefore, moreover for example, in other words, as a matter of fact

    Example:

    Weak: Grandmother lost her sight. Her hearing sharpened.

    Better: Grandmother lost her sight, but her hearing sharpened. Grandmother lost her sight; however, her hearing

    sharpened.

    Example:

    Choppy: The nipa huts vary in height. They measure from 10 to 15 square feet. They contain no modern conveniences.

    Improved: The nipa huts, which vary in height and measure from 10 to 15 square feet, contain no modern conveniences.

    Subordinating Minor Ideas To give unequal emphasis, express the major idea in an independent clause and place the minor idea in a subordinate clause beginning with any of the following words:

    after, although, as, as if, because, before, even though, if, since, so that, that, unless, until, when, where, which, while, who, whom, whose

    Example:

    Weak: Grandmother lost her sight. Her hearing sharpened.

    Better: As she lost her sight, Grandmothers hearing sharpened. Though her hearing sharpened, Grandmother gradually

    lost her sight.

  • 3

    Balancing Parallel Ideas

    Single words should be balanced with single words, phrases with phrases, clauses with clauses. Put correlative conjunctions and comparisons in pairs.

    eitheror, neithernor, not onlybut also, bothand, whetheror, thanas

    Make pronouns and antecedents agree. Eliminate distracting shifts in person, number, tense, mood, and voice. Example: Weak: Theft, vandalism, and test cheaters can result in suspension or even being expelled from school.

    Better: Theft, vandalism, and cheating can result in suspension or expulsion from school.

    Example:

    Weak: Mang Gusting is responsible for stocking merchandise, all store repairs, writing orders for delivery, and sales of

    computers.

    Improved: Mang Gusting is responsible for stocking merchandise, repairing items in the store, writing orders for delivery,

    and selling computers.

    Example: Weak: The basketball uniforms were not only too long but were wide too.

    Parallel: The basketball uniforms were not only too long but also too wide.

    Example:

    Weak: It is better to give than receive. It is easier speaking in abstractions than to ground ones thoughts in reality.

    Parallel: It is better to give than to receive. It is easier speaking in abstractions than grounding ones thoughts in

    reality. It is easier to speak in abstractions than to ground

    ones thoughts in reality.

  • 4

    Example:

    Incorrect: When someone has been drinking, they are likely to drive fast.

    Correct: When someone has been drinking, he or she is likely to drive

    fast.

    When drivers have been drinking, they are likely to drive

    fast.

    When one has been drinking, one is likely to drive fast.

    Example:

    Incorrect: Students who are joining the field trip must bring in a permission slip signed by his or her parents.

    Correct: Students who are joining the field trip must bring in a

    permission slip signed by their parents.

    A student who is joining the field trip must bring in a

    permission slip signed by his or her parents.

    Example: Incorrect: Either Jose or Maria is moving to the city, where they are going to attend college.

    Correct: Either Jose or Maria is moving to the city, where she is

    going to attend college.

    Jose and Maria are moving to the city, where they are going

    to attend college.

    Example: Incorrect: The contest winners, Pedro and me, were unable to attend the awards ceremony.

    Correct: The contest winners, Pedro and I, were unable to attend the awards ceremony.

    Example: Incorrect: The guidance counselor gave my girlfriend and I some good tips on courtship and marriage.

    Correct: The guidance counselor gave my girlfriend and me some good tips on courtship and marriage.

  • 5

    Incorrect: Her husband is 15 years older than her.

    Correct: Her husband is 15 years older than she.

    Example: Incorrect: Them, my neighbors, were puzzled by the dedication of we, skaters.

    Correct: They, my neighbors, were puzzled by the dedication of us, skaters.

    Incorrect: Because of his failing grades, we are fed up with him drinking and smoking.

    Correct: Because of his failing grades, we are fed up with his drinking and smoking.

    Incorrect: Everyone should buy a shuttle ticket unless you plan

    to spend most of your time walking around Subic.

    Correct: You should buy a shuttle ticket unless you plan to spend most of your time walking around Subic.

    Incorrect: In Philippine movies, a police officer is often criticized for always being there when they arent needed and

    never being there when they are.

    Correct: In Philippine movies, police officers are often criticized for always being there when they arent needed and

    never being there when they are.

    Incorrect: Andoys hopes rise and fall as Indays heart started and stopped at the emergency room.

    Correct: Andoys hopes rose and fell as Indays heart started and stopped at the emergency room.

    Incorrect: The cops advised us against allowing anyone into our homes without proper identification. Also, alert neighbors

    when going on vacation.

    Correct: The cops advised us against allowing anyone into our homes without proper identification. They also suggested that

    we alert neighbors when going on vacation.

  • 6

    Linking Ideas

    When sentences and paragraphs flow from one to another without gaps or shifts, then they are coherent. Repeat key words to gain coherence. Coherent: We Filipinos are a charitable and hospitable people: we have institutions devoted to every good cause from

    taking care of aged loved ones to celebrating town fiestas.

    But what have we done to promote the art of thinking?

    Certainly we make no room for thought in our daily lives.

    Suppose a young man were to say to his friends, "Im not

    going to play basketball tonight because I need some time to

    myself, some time to think"? Such a person would be shunned

    by his friends; his family would be ashamed of him and think

    hes gay. What if a girl were to say, "Im not going to chat

    on the Internet tonight because I need some time to reflect"?

    Her parents would immediately think shes sick and start

    looking for a psychiatrist. We are all too much like the late

    dictator Ferdinand Marcos: we fear and distrust people who

    dream too much--look what happened to Ninoy Aquino. We

    believe that almost anything is more important than thinking.

    Inconsistent: One goes about skateboarding in this manner. At the very outset one acquires an extreme sports state of mind.

    An instructional video must be watched or a beginners book

    must be read, and preferably someone with experience should

    educate the novice. Preparing for the first ride takes

    several steps. The purchase of a good skateboard is first. A

    wooden deck with grip tape, a pair of metal trucks, four sets

    of rubber wheels with bearings, and the coolest clothes and

    skate shoes capable of withstanding tears and falls outfit

    the skater for his adventure. The decision has to be made on

    just what tricks to learn and where to perform them--street,

    empty pool, or ramp. Finally, the skater needs medical

    insurance, in case he doesnt nail his first trick and

    injures himself.

  • 7

    Maintain consistency in point of view. Consistent: I went about skateboarding in this manner. To acquire an extreme sports state of mind, I watched an

    instructional video, read a beginners book, and talked

    at length with an experienced skater. Then, I purchased a

    good skateboard--a wooden deck with grip tape, a pair of

    metal trucks, and four sets of rubber heels with bearings.

    Afterwards, I outfitted myself withstanding the tears and

    falls of my adventure. Next, I decided on what tricks to

    learn and where to perform them--street, empty pool, or ramp.

    Finally, I got medical insurance, in case I dont nail my

    first trick and injure myself.

    Provide transitions to:

    Show additionand, also, besides, next, too, first, second, further, Give examplesfor example, for instance, to illustrate, in fact, To comparealso, similarly, likewise, in the same manner