Text of Conflict Resolution Michele Brezovec - Coach Teaching Mediation Skills to Help a Team Work Well...
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Conflict Resolution Michele Brezovec - Coach Teaching Mediation
Skills to Help a Team Work Well Together
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2004-2005 TEAMS
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FLL History 2004-2005: Two teams, First and Second place in
States for Teamwork 2003-2004: One girls team and one boys team
2002-2003: First year
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Mechanical Engineering
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Simple Machines
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White Mountains Workshop Teambuilding activities Hiking to a
hut Helping each other make it up Mixing it up Laughing a lot
Getting to know each other All members must go
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Ready to Climb the Mountain
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A Rest Stop on the Way to Tuckermans Ravine
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Kids need to take ownership of the team and their actions.
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Team Needs Each member needs to belong (sharing and cooperating
with others) Need to have power (fulfilled by achieving,
accomplishing, and being recognized and respected) Need for freedom
(make choices in their lives and being safe) Need for fun
(fulfilled by laughing and playing)
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Students need to know that they have a voice.
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Group Togetherness: Fridays
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What to Teach to the Team What is conflict Anger management
Communications skills - active listening Feelings are important
Conflict in our lives Conflict styles Win/win agreements Building
trust Social skills
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A Contract
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Conflict Everyone has it Part of our everyday lives Will
continue to exist no matter how we deal with it
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We Grow Through Conflict Learn about ourselves, others Learn
how to communicate (listen) Learn the skills to solve problems
Empathy Understanding With practice/success we become better
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Sources of Conflict Communication Resources Needs
Values/perceptions Structural conditions
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Perceptions of Conflict Each person in a conflict will view the
conflict differently. For resolution it is important that each
understand how the other views the problem.
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Conflict Styles Confrontational/Aggressive Avoidance/Passive
Problem Solving
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Conflict Resolution Directly involves the conflicting parties
in both resolution process and outcome Proactively offers skills
and strategies to participants prior to their involvement in the
conflict Maximizes the use of negotiation and mediation processes
to resolve disputes
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Feeling Are Important Cant begin to get at the reason(s) for a
conflict until we deal with the underlying feelings
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A View to Share With All
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Anger Management Control Communicate Channel Confront
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Dont Let Anger Erupt Fear Hurt Stress Sadness Hostility
Loneliness Feelings of failure Frustration
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Peer Mediation is: A chance to work out your problem We wont
tell you what to do We will not take sides We are not judges
Everything is confidential Both parties need to want to solve the
problem
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Mediator A Mediator is a person who brings people together who
are separated by disagreement and who help them to solve the
problem so that they both win!
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Role of a Mediator Doesnt take sides Is respectful Helps people
work together Keeps information confidential Is an active listener
A good team worker Dependable and responsible
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What to do Listen carefully Be fair Ask how each person feels
Let each person state what happened Treat each person with respect
Keep what you are told confidential Mediate in private
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What not to do Take sides Tell them what to do Ask who started
it Blame anyone for the situation Ask, Why did you do that? Give
advice Look for witnesses
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Ground Rules No name calling or put downs No interrupting Be
Honest Agree to solve the problem Do you understand
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Disputants Take ownership of the problem and the solutions When
students come up with their own solutions, they feel in control of
their lives and committed to the plans of actions that they have
created to address their problems. Skills they develop while being
a part of the process may carry through to their lives
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Mediation Agreement/Contract We have reached an agreement that
we believe is fair and that solves the problem between us. In the
future if we have problems that we cannot resolve on our own, we
agree to come back to mediation.
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Defining the Problem We cant find solutions until we define it
first
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I Messages Behavior - (What event made you angry) When...
Feelings - (How does that behavior effect me) I feel Effect -
(Reason - Why do I feel this way) Because Change - (What would make
it better) What I would like is
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Active Listening Use good eye contact Pay attention to body
posture Use non-verbal cues: uh-huh, nod, etc Ask clarifying
questions: open or closed questions as needed Repeat back what you
heard them say (in your own words) Use neutral language
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A Trust Exercise
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The Treed Cat Story about a student and a cat and what is
happening. One student reads it to a volunteer. This volunteer then
repeats the story from memory to another student that was outside
of the room. Then this student then repeats the story to the second
student outside of the room.
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Active Listening Game Draw a picture on a blackboard Have one
group of students facing away and one facing the blackboard
Students facing the blackboard has to describe what is on the board
and the other has to draw it
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Descriptions
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Active Listening Students sit two circles with the inner one
facing the outer one. Each pair talks for two minutes learning as
much as possible about each other. After two minutes they repeat
what they learned. The inner circle then moves over one person to
the right until they have talked with all of the students in the
outer circle.
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Tie That Shoe
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One Fish, Two Fish, Three Team building game One person in the
front facing away from group The group of five students need to
take the object from behind the guesser and get it back to base
without the guesser finder out who has the object
