Conflict ResolutionMichele Brezovec - Coach

Teaching Mediation Skills to Help a Team Work Well Together

2004-2005 TEAMS

FLL History

2004-2005: Two teams, First and Second place in States for Teamwork

2003-2004: One girls team and one boys team 2002-2003: First year

Mechanical Engineering

Simple Machines

White Mountains Workshop

Teambuilding activities Hiking to a hut Helping each other make it up Mixing it up Laughing a lot Getting to know each other All members must go

Ready to Climb the Mountain

A Rest Stop on the Way to Tuckerman’s Ravine

Kids need to take ownership of the team and their actions.

Team Needs

Each member needs to belong (sharing and cooperating with others)

Need to have power (fulfilled by achieving, accomplishing, and being recognized and respected)

Need for freedom (make choices in their lives and being safe)

Need for fun (fulfilled by laughing and playing)

Students need to know that they have a voice.

Group Togetherness: Fridays

What to Teach to the Team

What is conflict Anger management Communications skills - active listening Feelings are important Conflict in our lives Conflict styles Win/win agreements Building trust Social skills

A Contract

Conflict

Everyone has it Part of our everyday lives Will continue to exist no matter how we deal with

it

We Grow Through Conflict

Learn about ourselves, others Learn how to communicate (listen) Learn the skills to solve problems Empathy Understanding With practice/success we become better

Sources of Conflict

Communication Resources Needs Values/perceptions Structural conditions

Perceptions of Conflict

Each person in a conflict will view the conflict differently. For resolution it is important that each understand how the other views the problem.

Conflict Styles

Confrontational/Aggressive Avoidance/Passive Problem Solving

Conflict Resolution

Directly involves the conflicting parties in both resolution process and outcome

Proactively offers skills and strategies to participants prior to their involvement in the conflict

Maximizes the use of negotiation and mediation processes to resolve disputes

Feeling Are Important

Can’t begin to get at the reason(s) for a conflict until we deal with the underlying feelings

A View to Share With All

Anger Management

Control Communicate Channel Confront

Don’t Let Anger Erupt

Fear Hurt Stress Sadness Hostility Loneliness Feelings of failure Frustration

Peer Mediation is:

A chance to work out your problem We won’t tell you what to do We will not take sides We are not judges Everything is confidential Both parties need to want to solve the problem

MediatorA Mediator is a person who brings people together who are separated by disagreement and who help them to solve the problem so that they both win!

Role of a Mediator

Doesn’t take sides Is respectful Helps people work together Keeps information confidential Is an active listener A good team worker Dependable and responsible

What to do

Listen carefully Be fair Ask how each person feels Let each person state what happened Treat each person with respect Keep what you are told confidential Mediate in private

What not to do

Take sides Tell them what to do Ask who started it Blame anyone for the situation Ask, “Why did you do that?” Give advice Look for witnesses

Ground Rules

No name calling or put downs No interrupting Be Honest Agree to solve the problem Do you understand

Disputants

Take ownership of the problem and the solutions When students come up with their own solutions,

they feel in control of their lives and committed to the plans of actions that they have created to address their problems.

Skills they develop while being a part of the process may carry through to their lives

Mediation Agreement/Contract

We have reached an agreement that we believe is fair and that solves the problem between us. In the future if we have problems that we cannot resolve on our own, we agree to come back to mediation.

Defining the Problem

We can’t find solutions until we define it first

I Messages

Behavior - (What event made you angry) “When...”

Feelings - (How does that behavior effect me) “I feel…”

Effect - (Reason - Why do I feel this way) “Because…”

Change - (What would make it better) “What I would like is…”

Active Listening

Use good eye contact Pay attention to body posture Use non-verbal cues: uh-huh, nod, etc Ask clarifying questions: open or closed questions as

needed Repeat back what you heard them say (in your own

words) Use neutral language

A Trust Exercise

The Treed Cat

Story about a student and a cat and what is happening.

One student reads it to a volunteer. This volunteer then repeats the story from

memory to another student that was outside of the room.

Then this student then repeats the story to the second student outside of the room.

Active Listening Game

Draw a picture on a blackboard Have one group of students facing away and one

facing the blackboard Students facing the blackboard has to describe

what is on the board and the other has to draw it

Descriptions

Active Listening

Students sit two circles with the inner one facing the outer one. Each pair talks for two minutes learning as much as possible about each other. After two minutes they repeat what they learned. The inner circle then moves over one person to the right until they have talked with all of the students in the outer circle.

Tie That Shoe

One Fish, Two Fish, Three

Team building game One person in the front facing away from group The group of five students need to take the object

from behind the guesser and get it back to base without the guesser finder out who has the object

The Web

We all look at things differently.

The Web

Hand Tangle

Teamwork With Dice

The Log Rotation

Everyone Has To Move This Object A Little Further

THE END