Building self esteem and resilience€¦ · Web viewWhen we don’t share our feelings of anger with a trusted person, and we keep it all to ourselves, we begin to feel more and

Changing Bullying www.changingbullying.com

Building Self-Esteem and Resilience

Length: 10 weeks

Summary and aim: Building Self-Esteem and Resilience is a program designed for primary school students based on the NSW PDHPE syllabus. The program explores students’ sense of self, their value and uniqueness, how to protect their sense of identity, expression of feelings and why kids bully others. This program is designed to improve student wellbeing and, in turn, reduce bullying behaviour. This program also aims to build resilience in children when faced with difficult situations.

Organisation: The program contains 10 lessons, taught once per week. This can be used as part of circle time activities or as separate PDHPE lessons. Outcomes and indicators are included for Stage 1, 2 and 3.

Resources: Pictures of several different animals, blank puzzle pieces (pre-prepared and cut up from white cardboard), several different flowers, flashcards of helpful and unhelpful thoughts (see Resource Sheet 1), $10 note, flashcards of self-worth statements (see Resource Sheet 2), soft balls, flashcards with scenarios and feelings (see resource sheet 3, pp.34-37), feelings worksheet (see p. 42), bully/victim silhouettes (see resource sheet 4), reflection questionnaire sheet (see p. 43-44).

Assessment:Informal assessments are conducted via observation of students’ answers and work samples, along with observation of behaviours in class and on the playground.A reflection questionnaire at the end of the unit assesses students’ understanding of the content.

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http://www.changingbullying.com/


Outcomes and indicators

Values and attitudes

V1 refers to a sense of their own worth and dignity;

Accepts themselves as they grow and change Appreciates that their physical, social, emotional and intellectual development is unique Values themselves as an important member of various groups Expresses a realistic perception of their personal capabilities Appreciates and accepts the importance of developing a personal value system.

V2 respects the rights of others to hold different values and attitudes from their own

Appreciates the similarities and differences between themselves and others Shows sensitivity to the needs, rights, feelings and efforts of others Shows concern for the welfare of others

V3 respects the rights of others to hold different values and attitudes from their own.

Recognises the contribution they and others make to social living Displays a commitment to developing and maintaining positive relationships Values positive relationships

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Stage 2

COMMUNICATINGCOS2.1 uses a variety of ways to communicate with and within groups.

Shares ideas, feelings and opinions with others about issues such as bullying. Makes a complaint, states a problem or disagrees in acceptable ways.

INTERACTINGINS2.3 Makes positive contributions in group activities

Develops friendships and support networks with a range of people Displays tolerance in relation to individual differences, eg ability levels, culture Discusses personal strategies to deal with difficult situations

PROBLEM-SOLVINGPSS2.5 uses a range of problem-solving strategies.

Analyses problem situations Identifies ways to improve unsafe situations Initiates problem-solving on a group or individual basis

GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENTGDS2.9 describes life changes and associated feelings.

Explains and values differences in growth and development between individuals at different stages Identifies their own strengths and limitations Values their own abilities Identifies feelings associated with life changes, eg grief, loss, family change, new friends

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Demonstrates sensitivity to the needs, rights, feelings and efforts of others Recalls and reports about some situations, and feelings they experience as a result

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPSIRS2.11 Describes how relationships with a range of people enhance wellbeing

Identifies people from whom they can seek advice and support Recognises that families and groups have both common and different customs, behaviours, values Discusses how trust is developed in relationships Participates in group situations, showing consideration for the needs, rights and feelings of others Demonstrates communication skills that enhance relationships, eg listening, showing care, negotiating, refusing,

assertiveness Recognises behaviours that are threatening, such as bullying, and identifies people who can help

Stage 1COMMUNICATINGCOS1.1 communicates appropriately in a variety of ways.

Expresses feelings about safe and unsafe situations Shows understanding about others’ feelings

INTERACTINGINS1.3 develops positive relationships with peers and other people.

Displays cooperation in group activities, eg taking turns Uses positive talk to encourage others Listens and responds to others Shows concern for the wellbeing of others

PROBLEM-SOLVING

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PSS1.5 Draws on past experiences to solve familiar problems. When appropriate, identifies problem situations Suggests solutions to problems

GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENTGDS1.9 Describes the characteristics that make them both similar to others and unique.

Identifies specific attributes of other students Discusses things they do well, eg games, school work, caring for siblings Recognises and names different types of emotions Demonstrates ways of encouraging and carrying for others

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPSIRS1.11 identifies ways in which they communicate, cooperate and care for others.

Explains why different people are important to them Demonstrates ways to help encourage and care for others Demonstrates actions they can take when they feel frightened, lost, upset or bullied and identifies who can help them

Stage 3COMMUNICATINGCOS3.1 communicates confidently in a variety of situations

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Presents an opinion with confidence

INS3.3 Acts in ways that enhance the contribution of self and others in a range of cooperative situations Uses strategies to resolve conflict Expresses and acts appropriately on concern for others Demonstrates actions that support the rights and feelings of others, eg fair play, consideration, encouragement

PROBLEM-SOLVINGPSS3.5 Suggests, considers and selects appropriate alternatives when resolving problems.

Selects the most appropriate solution to a given problem

GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENTGDS3.9 Explains and demonstrates strategies for dealing with life changes.

Suggests ways of developing new skills and competencies, eg practice, peer tutoring, goal setting, seeking support Devises strategies to cope with life changes, eg puberty, changing friendships, commencing high school Recognises a wide range of influences on personal identity, eg peers, media, cultural beliefs Describes aspects of social and emotional growth and development

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPSIRS3.11 Describes roles and responsibilities in developing and maintaining positive relationships.

Discuss how they relate to people in various contexts Identifies their roles and responsibilities within groups Analyses the effects of actions that enhance or disrupt relationships, eg peer influences, bullying, active listening Demonstrates acceptable ways of resolving conflict Models behaviour that reflects sensitivity to the needs, rights, feelings of others Describes the factors that can influence communication, eg listening, expression, feelings, peer pressure, body language Develops and maintains a personal network of trusted adults who could provide advice and support

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Week/topic & resources

Activities Register

Week 1

We are all important and talented in our own unique way

Resources: pre-prepared blank puzzle cut into pieces.

Pictures of several different animals

Display pictures of a number of different types of animals. Ask students to order the animals from best to worst in a vertical line (best at the top, worst at the bottom). Explain their reasoning.Then ask the following questions:How would the bear feel if his whole life he wished he was a lion?What would the mouse do if he tried to be like a bird? Would he succeed?Imagine if the mouse, the giraffe, the turtle and the lion were all asked to have a running race to decide who was the best animal of all. Would that be fair?

Explain that, just like we judge which animal is the best and which is the worst, we often do that with each other. We judge who is the best, who is the coolest and who is not. Sometimes we place ourselves in order. Maybe we think we are at the top, or the middle, or the bottom of the social hierarchy.Ask:How do you feel when you wish you could be like someone else?Imagine if 3 kids did a math test to decide who was the best person in the school (not the best at math, but the best person). Would that be fair?Imagine if 3 kids had a running race to decide who was the coolest kid in the school. Would that be fair?It doesn’t matter what our strengths or our weaknesses are, we are all just as important as each other. The child that can run the fastest is not better than the child that can read really tricky books. The child that finds math hard is not any less talented than the child that finds math easy.We are all unique and we all learn in our own unique ways.

Give each child a piece of an already prepared and cut up puzzle. Have the child decorate their piece, write their name on it and write something they are good at. Display the puzzle on the wall as a reminder that each child is important and has talents and strengths. Above the puzzle, display the sentence: We are all important

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and talented in our own unique way.

Week 2We all learn in our own unique way

Resources:3 different types of flowers

Unhelpful and helpful thoughts flashcards (Resource sheet 1)

Display 3 different flowers/plants. Ask the students whether all the plants grew exactly the same way at exactly the same pace. Does it matter whether one grew quicker than the other? Does it matter if one took longer to blossom? Is there something wrong with the flower that took longer? No, they are all beautiful and unique in their own way. They all got there in the end. The world would be boring to look at if there was only one type of flower.

Explain that everyone learns in his or her own unique way. For some, it may only take one lesson to understand a concept. For another, it may take a week, or a few weeks or even a few months. And that is perfectly okay. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It just means you need more time on it and/or you need the teacher to explain it to you in a different way.

Go around the circle and have students name something that they feel they are good at (eg. Dancing, math, English, sport).Then have students name something they feel they need to work on.

Have two sets of flash cards on the floor. On one set of flashcards, write the following sentences:I’m not good at this.I give up.I’m going to lose.I can’t do this.Everyone else is better than me.I’m going to fail.There’s no way I can do thisThis is too hard.I’m dumb.I never get this right.If I make a mistake, I am a loser and a failure.

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On the other set of flash cards, write the following phrases:I’m going to start with the part I can doI’m going to get better at thisThis is going to be a battle and I’m going to winAll that matters is that I try my best.I am proud of myself for having a go.This might be hard, but if I keep practicing, I will get it.This may take some time and effortI’m going to train my brain.Mistakes help me to learn better.I’m going to figure out how they do it so I can try.I’m getting better at this.This is not my best subject. But I’ll try my best.If I try hard, I’ll get there.I can handle this.I am strong enough to handle this.This is an opportunity to learn new things.Everyone makes mistakes. This mistake does not mean I am a failure.I know today was hard but I can try again tomorrow.

Discuss the first set of flash cards and explain that they are unhelpful thoughts. Unhelpful thoughts can make us miserable and stop us from trying, which makes it a lot harder to learn. But imagine if the flower that took a few months to blossom gave up because it was taking too long? The world would be missing a beautiful part of nature.

Collaboratively choose an alternative flashcard for each unhelpful thought that is listed on the floor.Eg. Pair I’m not good at this with I’m going to get better at this.Have students write down an unhelpful thought that they sometimes or often have and then write an

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alternative helpful thought they can choose to think next time it happens.

Week 3

I am important, valuable and full of worth and that will never change.

Resources:$10 note

Self-worth flashcards (resource sheet 2)

Hold up a $10 note and ask how much it is worth. Throw it on the ground, tread on it and pick it up. And ask the same question. Scrunch it up and throw it at the wall. What if I put dirt all over it, put it in my mouth and pull it out. How much is it worth? It is still worth the same amount. Explain that like a $10 bill, they also have worth that will never change no matter what they do or how they are treated.

Spread a pile of flashcards on the floor with words that describe a child’s worth. For example:I am importantI am valuableI am full of worthI am loveableI am likeableI am goodI am good enoughI am worthwhileI am worth itI am deserving of attentionI am approved ofI am specialI matterI am wonderful

Have students name a flashcard that they would like to believe about themselves or that they already believe and makes them feel good.

Emphasise that I am these things not because of anything I do but because I am me.Play with some sentences to show the difference between the two (eg. I am important because I win games a lot vs I am important because I am me).

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Week 4

Threats to our sense of self

Soft balls

Self-worth flashcards (resource sheet 2)

Display the I am flashcards from the previous lesson. Have students complete the sentences as a reminder of what makes them feel good to believe about themselves.

Discuss threats to I am. Display a selection of scenarios:

Not coming firstLosing a gameGetting into troubleBeing bulliedWhen someone says hurtful words.Not understanding what the teacher is saying.When the work is too hard.When someone compliments someone else but not me.

Discuss how these scenarios make students feel and how it changes their view of themselves.Eg. When I lose a game I feel angry and it makes me think I am not good enough.Have a pile of balls in the middle. Role-play an example of a day when many of these scenarios happen. Each time a scenario happens, hand the same student a ball. Eventually the student is holding more balls than they can handle and the load gets heavier and heavier. This is how we feel when we take on everything that is said or done to us.

Take the balls and role-play a new scenario where a ball is thrown at the student and is caught but then let go of. Explain that in the next lesson students will learn how to let go of the feelings and unhelpful thoughts that come in a scenario, such as not winning a game.

Week 5 Discuss the meaning of protection. Discuss how we can protect our sense of self worth even when it is threatened.

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Protecting our sense of self

Flashcards with scenarios and feelings (pp.34-37)

Soft balls

Revise the ball activity where the same student is given a ball and throughout the day and the balls get more and heavier.Then use the think aloud strategy to model how to let go of the unhelpful thoughts.Example:

“I'm walking around feeling good. I feel special and unique and full of worth and then BAM!" (have a student throw a ball at you), "I get teased. And then the thought comes into my head, 'I'm not special.' And I feel sad for a minute. But then I think, 'no hang on, I AM special. This person likes me, and this person likes me and this person likes me. I am special" (drop the ball to the ground as a representation of letting go of the thought "I'm not special”).Repeat with a new scenario, "So I'm walking around thinking I'm special and I'm unique and I'm full of worth and then BAM", (have another student throw a ball at you), "Someone laughed at me. And the thought comes into my head, 'I'm not good at anything,' so I hold onto that thought for a minute and I feel embarrassed but then I think, 'wait a second. I AM good at things. I'm good at soccer and maths. I am good at things!'" (drop the ball once again to represent letting go of the unhelpful thought).

Repeat with a few more scenarios. Have students suggest new thoughts to counteract the unhelpful ones and allow them to practice using the same role-plays that were modelled. Emphasise that students can challenge the unhelpful thoughts that come into their heads. They don’t have to accept them. Make sure students understand that their feelings are important. Feelings are a natural response and however the student feels is okay. This exercise is not pretending their feelings aren’t there. But rather, it is acknowledging how they feel and acknowledging the thought that comes into their head and then challenging the thought with a new one.

The reason for catching the ball and then letting it go, rather than letting the ball bounce straight off, is that most of the time it is not possible to stop hard feelings and unhelpful thoughts from entering. They do linger a bit. However, when the thought is challenged, then it is possible to let go of the ball.

Provide a range of flashcards with scenarios and feelings (pp.33-36). Students start with When I_______ (eg. Get bullied) I feel ________(eg. Scared) and it makes me think ___________ (eg. I’m not good enough).

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Discuss how scenarios don’t have to change their sense of self. No matter what balls are thrown at them, whether bullying or getting into trouble etc. it doesn’t change their value or importance. Their sense of self does not change even when they make wrong choices. It’s still important to take responsibility for things we have done. However, making bad choices does not equate to being a bad person.

Week 6Feelings worksheet (p.42)

Divide students into teams. Give them 5 minutes to come up with as many feeling words as they can. Display the lists of feelings and give students opportunity to ask for the meanings of new words.

Discuss how everyone has feelings. We feel different things throughout the day depending on the different things that happen to us. It is important not to be ashamed of having feelings. However we feel is okay.

Have students write down something that makes them feel happy, excited, sad, angry and hurt (see p.41 for the worksheet). Students can volunteer to share their answers.

Ask students the question: Who do you share your feelings with? How do they help you feel better?Write down students’ answers.Example: When I feel sad I tell my mum and she gives me a hug.The idea of this exercise is to start to build a bank of ideas to express feelings in helpful ways.

Week 7The importance of sharing feelings with a trusted adult.

Revisit the last lesson on feelings, showing the list of people that students feel comfortable sharing their feelings with.Ask: What happens when we don’t share our feelings with anyone?Go through a few examples.

Sadness. If we don’t share our sad feelings with anyone, the sadness can get worse and worse. Instead of only feeling sad for a little bit, we feel sad for a long time.Anger. When we don’t share our feelings of anger with a trusted person, and we keep it all to ourselves, we begin to feel more and more angry. Until eventually it explodes (show a volcano to demonstrate bottling up

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Resources:Picture of a volcano

anger for a long time and it eventually coming out in unhelpful ways – like hurting others).

Explain that when we try and carry all these big feelings and emotions on our own, it feels heavier and heavier and we will find it harder and harder to cope in life.

Ask students: What happens when we share our feelings with an adult but they make us feel worse?Explain that sometimes the adults that are closest to us actually hurt our feelings when we share them. This means we don’t feel comfortable sharing our feelings with them. Have students suggest other people outside the family they could trust: eg. Teacher, friends’ parents.

Display the Kids Helpline website: https://kidshelpline.com.au/kids

Tell students: If you are finding it hard to deal with your feelings and emotions, and you need help, the Kids Helpline are here to help you.

Show students how to navigate the website. There is a phone number. There is also an email address and online chat.

Week 8

Expressing feelings in helpful and unhelpful ways

Give students 5 minutes to create a role-play based on the following scenarios, demonstrating expressions of feelings that are unhelpful to others:You win a trophy and you go around telling everyone how much better you are than them.You feel angry at your friend so you go and yell at him.You feel happy that you got the answer right so you tell others that you are smarter than them.Your friend hurts your feelings so you spread rumours about her.You feel embarrassed that you lost the game so in the next game you trip someone over.

Discuss how these are unhelpful and hurtful ways to express feelings.

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Divide students into teams, giving each team the name of a different feeling. Have the teams come up with helpful ways to express and deal with feelings and emotions. Here are some examples to get the students going:

Anger: Walk away to a quiet place to cool down. Tell a teacher. Take deep breaths. Count to 10 before responding to anyone.Sadness: Tell a trusted adult what you’re sad about, journal about your sadness, draw a picture or colour in, go somewhere quiet and comfortable, allow yourself to cry with someone you trust.

Create a bank of ideas for how to express and respond to feelings in a helpful way that doesn’t hurt self or others.

Week 9Why do kids bully other kids?

Resources:

Child silhouettes (resource sheet 4)

Soft balls.

Display and discuss the following:

When someone says or does something unintentionally hurtful and they do it once, that’s rude.When someone says or does something intentionally hurtful and they do it once. That’s mean.When someone says or does something intentionally hurtful and they keep doing it – even when you tell them to stop or show them that you’re upset, that’s bullying.

Go around the circle and have students share how bullying makes them feel and what it makes them think about themselves. For example: Bullying makes me feel scared and hurt and it makes me think I am not likeable.

Ask the students: why do you think kids bully other kids? Write down their responses.Watch the following 1 minute video on why kids bully other kids: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-MP4C7xeq4

Have a student stand in the middle of the circle and give them a whole pile of balls to carry. Discuss how

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-MP4C7xeq4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-MP4C7xeq4


bullies are most likely experiencing problems in their own life. They are often carrying many hurts and may have even been bullied themselves.

Explain that the person holding the balls is role-playing the bully. The balls represent all the hurts that the bully is carrying. Have the student gently throw some of the balls to other students. This demonstrates the bully passing on some of their hurts to others.

Write on the board: When I am bullied, it does not say anything about me. It says everything about the bully.

Emphasise that the hurtful words a bully may tell you does not mean you are worthless or not good enough or unlikeable. It means that the bully is expressing his/her own hurts in an inappropriate and hurtful way. This does not excuse the behaviour (there are always consequences for bullying behaviour) but if we understand why someone is behaving like that toward us, it helps us not to take on the hurts as much. Those hurts belong to the bully and need to be expressed in a more helpful way.

Place a giant sketch or silhouette of a child next to a tiny sketch of another child (resource sheet 4). Explain that when we are being bullied, we can often view the bully as a giant compared to us. However, in reality, often the bully feels smaller than us. Change the picture to a sketch of a child and a smaller sketch of another child (the smaller sketch representing how the bully may feel on the inside).

When someone feels small on the inside, sometimes they try and make others feel small so they can feel bigger.

Finish the lesson with the importance of coming to an adult for help in a bullying situation. If the student is feeling scared and unsafe, they should come to an adult immediately and get the help that they need.

Week 10

Program

Give students time to write down their answers to these questions:What is something new that you learnt?Did these lessons help you in any way? How?

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reflections worksheet (p.43-44)

What was your favourite thing to learn about in this program?What is something you will take from this program to put into action?What are some helpful things you can do if you are feeling angry?What are some helpful things you can do if you are feeling sad?Who can you talk to if you need help with your feelings?Who can you come to for help if you are being bullied?Discuss answers.

Evaluation

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There’s no way I can do this.

This is too hard.

I’m dumb.Resource sheet 1

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I will never get this right.

If I make a mistake I am a failure.

I am not good at this.Resource sheet 1

Resource sheet 1

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I give up.

I’m going to lose.

I can’t do this.

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Everyone else is better than me.

I’m going to fail.

I’m going to start with the part I can do.

Resource sheet 1

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This is going to be a battle and I’m going to win.

All that matters is that I try my best.

Resource sheet 1

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I am proud of myself for having a go.

This might be hard, but if I keep practicing, I will get it.

This may take some time and effort.

Resource sheet 1

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I’m going to train my brain.

Mistakes help me to learn better.

I’m going to figure out how they do it so I can try.

Resource sheet 1

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I’m getting better at this

This is not my best subject but I’ll try my best.

If I try hard, I’ll get there.

Resource sheet 1

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I am clever in my own, unique way.

I can handle this.

I am strong enough to handle this.

Resource sheet 1

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This is an opportunity to learn new things.

Everyone makes mistakes. This mistake does not mean I am a

failure.I know today was hard but I can

try again tomorrow.

Resource sheet 1

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I am important

I am valuable

I am full of worth

Resource sheet 2

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I am loveable

I am likeable

I am good

Resource sheet 2

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I am good enough

I am worthwhile

I am worth it

Resource sheet 2

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I am deserving of attention.

I am approved of.

I am special

Resource sheet 2

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I matter.I am wonderful.

I am unique.

Resource sheet 2

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When someone teases me, I feel ______ and it makes me think ___________________ but I am still ____________.

When I am bullied, I feel _________ and it makes me think __________________but I am still _______________.

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When I get into trouble, I feel _________ and it makes me think _________________but I am still _______________.When I am left out of a group, I feel _________ and it makes me think __________________but I am still _______________.

Resource sheet 3

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When I lose a game, I feel _________ and it makes me think __________________but I am still _______________.When the work is really hard, I feel _________ and it makes me think __________________ but I am still ____. _______________.

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When ___________________________________I feel _______________ and it makes me think __________________________________________but I am still _____________________________.

When ___________________________________I feel _______________ and it makes me think __________________________________________but I am still _____________________________.

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Resource sheet 4

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Resource sheet 4

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Name: _______________________________________________ Date: _____________________________________________

My feelingsI feel happy when ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I feel sad when ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I feel angry when ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I feel excited when ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I feel hurt when ___________________________________________________________________________Reflecting on the program

What is something new that you learnt? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Name: _______________________________________________ Date: _____________________________________________

Did these lessons help you in any way? How?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What was your favourite thing to learn about in this program?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What is something you will take from this program and put into action?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Name: _______________________________________________ Date: _____________________________________________

What are some helpful things you can do if you are feeling angry? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What are some helpful things you can do if you are feeling sad?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Who can you talk to if you need help with your feelings?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Who can you come to for help if you are being bullied?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Documents

Building self esteem and resilience€¦ · Web viewWhen we don’t share our feelings of anger with a trusted person, and we keep it all to ourselves, we begin to feel more and