ABIGAIL MARTINBIRDS ON THE FENCE

TensionToday, I have ink on my face,

What a disguise!

Perhaps the Devil will rise

Out of the ashes of my past

And mistake me for his own

Patron saint.

I am not I.

No longer as queer as before

I came here. I am changed

From the ashen man I once

Was. I am stronger than oxen

And far braver

Than the lions bloody heart.

And yet, with the force of angels

At my side, I cower at the thought

Of possibly releasing my mind.

So incase you look

Into the puddle of blood

And see yourself.

20 Oct. 2012

The Mask of War

I prick my fingers on splintered faces;Fingers at fault of ruination.

There are no more sounds, There are no more tears,

Just the fractures, accumulate, Hoarding the seasons of regret.

They burn. I watch the embersIgnite.

An inferno roars beneath them And try as I might,

I will never extinguish, Never rid the fury that refuses to die.

11 may 2013

Oh, Sweet Friend

My flesh faced rag doll,Torn at the seems.

Fraying at the edgesAnd the button eyes barely threaded on.

You were once so bendy,You could twist all around.

You can’t now with Holes all over you.

I stab you to pieces With a loving needle and heartstrings.

But your fluffy guts keeps leaking

Onto me as I hug you.

15 May 2013

Man Of Elysium

Face; orgasm white,Cement eyes that even I Cannot fathom.

Sterile expression,Carved featuresGranite soul.

No visage more divine,Embellished with suchArtistic vigor.

Breath of sweet candyand wilted roses,pretty.

I could kiss every thoughtOnto your face.One after another for eons.

But you’d stay cold,You wouldn’t move,Not a stone twitch.

Still lifePhotographic heartStatue lover.

19 July 2013

Atlantic Heart

The rage and the fury Of oceans lay within my body;I am born to the sorrow of salt.

I dash brains upon the shore,I fill the lungs of bastardsWith the caustic liquor of my tears.

The wet enigmaHas always been my cradle,The fount of my very soul.

Those to dare enterI claim as my children. I will not let things live within or without.

They are one with me.They are in love with me.They shall not anger me

I could destroy Poseidon,The devastation of man is effortless.An ebb of my temptation.

Save your women and childrenThe men will quench my thirst;I am a glutton.

I’ll drink until I burst. Those that look upon me With salt within their vision

May utter verse before they dieWith in my cold, wet bosom. My being is deep,

The deepest trench there is. Good counsel is avoidance For both Gods and monsters

Know what anguish thrives. Swimming,Sweet angel.

Climb between my salty bones.Remember with caution,That my soul makes a good grave.

5 Aug. 2013

Gardens

It was foolish to believeThat if I planted myself In a new garden That the thorns of other bushesWould not bleed me.

No matter how new the soil,If there be fertile life, Nor the most perfectWeather to growAs far as I could:

The insects still crawl on me. I am still eaten aliveI still feel the itch Of a million feet Walking over me.

The agony, not of root and stemBeing torn to piecesBut of the false security Of a picket fence And a drink to keep me alive.

They find me and pluck meCut me down and keep Only the good parts To show off meanwhile I decompose to dust.

13 May 2014

1:14 AM

A dragging, a heavy grindAgainst rock stars and Bowie.The carrion night vomits its diamondsAnd the dead return to life.

Voices I've never heard in human formAnd sounds outside that drive fearOut of horror movies and into meTrying to sleep on my living room floor.

Stranger stop, I am listeningTo a familiar ghost And haven't the time To be terrified.

I'll keep a light on,Beacon into the pitchCutting through the terrorAnd keeping vigil.

26 June 2014

Freak-show

I've sat in empty roomsPlanting my roots through the floorBecoming an anomaly,

A spectacle to either hate or adore. I've collected trashAnd now it fertilises the earth.

It is the only currency I know,I've only ever seen such moneyTwice.

I cannot pay, The crowd cheer and mock Though I am told

They feel real. And I? I am here and there.

Within and withoutThe audience and the showAnd my, don't they line up.

I am the puppet and master.And cannot see the strings. Cannot feel the tugs.

I am the face and the body, Life and death. I am the bank

Of many many such things. Lust and rage; A garden burning

While it rains. I chew through moneyAs if I were royal

And had ambitions toOwn the world. I haven't a grip on that dream,

I haven't a grip on anything. I chew through money And all the little people stare,

They line up to see the god carnival.Insects to watch the predator, Slaves to mock the master.

I gorge and they gawk And indignation pours out throughThe teeth.

Vomit and screams Is all that pours from my mouth, My breast.

And now, the once mighty godThat is tied to sleep

Shrinks to a shy boy.

The rose wilts, blackens, diesAnd a new girl Grows from the poison sands.

26 June 2014

Ortolan

I

My house is the universe,One with heavy walls.

The stars, I suppose, still burnBut only in my memories.

Cold idle planets still surviveAnd I as God gorge myself on them.

I grow like the last star in the skyBefore I am ready to die.

II

The oceans burn deep brown,It makes the water sweet.

Even I, the God of the seasCan’t escape the Armagnac grip.

I spread my Christ arms And ascend

But the waves beat me back,Keep me at home.

III

The devil tied down,Satan sleeps.

I am the sin amongst flames.

My skin searsAnd my liquor tears

Boil as I slumberIn Dante’s bed.

IV

Molar grip andA splintered rib cage.

An autopsy So severe all Gods are blind.

For if man can taste meThen they know all

An orgasm of sinsThat endanger the Gods.

26 June 2014

Borneo

Fondness blossoms; A poison appleRipens inside my cage,A cramped prisoner in a rank, wetPulsating pen. My organsNurture that cancer,I forsake the torment.

An innocuous game ofBlind mans bluff with I;The blind man, blind with love.But he is heedless to me! Infected notWith the same malady as I! I am tainted, a foul summerGrows in my veins,

He burns with ignorance.I die a lovesick stray, He fails to diagnose what kills me,Why bonds tear themselvesApart in frustration. He stays a friend.A lovely rejection, a contented

Dismissal, unawareness so wholesome,That it makes me melt all the more.

6 Sept. 2014

RORO

I've spoken prayer until my teeth Chewed the words through my face.

I've cried tears so salty That they've burned my skull.

I am host to emptiness, A desert, a cavern, something.

I still feel your bonesBarely pressing mine.

Your breaths the heave ofOne thousand slaves that suddenly quit.

An oncoming stormThat gives up.

16 Oct. 2014

12:35am

You were gnarled fingers and lung congestion.

A cottage castle with loyal subjectsPiled around their queenAs she abdicates.

You were emaciation and hair falling out.

A lounge room cinema With the flickering lightOf a dying film.

You were one heaving breath and death

A circle of weeping fairiesDancing around Setting somber spells.

You were rigor mortis

An aimless congregation With no god, no leader,No purpose.

18 Oct. 2014

Three legged

I walked through faith and found soft beaconing lightsThe soft rock tips on pained glass faces And the heavy heavy heavy rushes on rotting stairs.

Found between bows and whips of oak and ChristWere sullen sunken souls of cloth and trilling womenIn chant in chant against the pillared walls.

Chandeliers of scratched flowers and chinaThe only knife to cut through the rotten steakOf constant conversation, constant prayer.

I found through my aimlessness, the travels in which I was lost,That the beasts, they congregate and together they singAnd it is something I never thought.

From the north to the never ending seasIn chain linked, kept like beehives, voicesMany many tales of devotion and truth.

Perhaps, after the cataclysm, if and when, These dusty parts of memory should revive Like a dead heart in us all.

2 Nov. 2014

The Woodsman

This is no wood, a labyrinthine dreamA world metamorphosed, aching cold. The north winds blow sinister spells Following the paths, hugging the deadTrees of spirits, petrified. Through fate and the resin of sleepI echo faint friends into fears; Earth, if it is, remains mere empty village, Manse and eye. Creatures live where it would not Be true, the world is a test for me, And for you. In strained voicesFrom through the night, in warning, A shout still ringing in my ears; "I and we, the three the three, The children, the darkness and me. Trees upon village and spirits as they seemBeyond the crumbling garden wall."Now heed the trees, the snow, the seed,The dancing ambience, The slickly weeds, they all scream, Withering in the midnight carrion, Growing through the antlers, The Wendigo draws near.Stars fail me in the sky above,

Clouds in doubtful storms Whisper secrets and ghosts. Devour innocence, Deceive the weak, Find within each tiny bodyExactly what you seek. Still, through, obedient To the cataclysm, bells of the beast Still chants to me;"I and we, the three the three, The children, the darkness and me. Trees upon village and spirits as they seemBeyond the crumbling garden wall."

11 Nov. 2014

Albion

The woodlands are stagnant,I roost on branch, vigilantTo the underbrush disturbing.

Lithe was the beast, Tender fawn eyes, ethereal Prey to pine for.

Only when held forth was seed,My seed to nourish, I became the hunter.

Ensnared in my clutch As I was in your eyes, Soft child of the night.

I skinned you, mounted you,Partook the flesh. Left the same fight on you as you me.

Marriage of the night to the day. I took your innocence and you took my pain.

3 Dec. 2014

Doors

I walk a corridor,Cold, pale,Hard wood floor. A chandelier here and there. Each step echoes Into the eons,This corridor is forever. The beginning is always Six feet before me, The end six feet ahead. I could quit. I choose where The door sits.I could discardMonotony,But who in their sane mindWould choose To be ordinary. It is this I labor A constant cheat,Keeping purgatory In my favour.

11 Dec. 2014

Grace

I have been cast in silverCosmic snows and African winds. Emerald fires in my eyes Noon is in the skies.All pine for prince charmingAnd I found those treesOn the French Riviera. A jewel nowTo beset my own.

Dresses have hung From my hips like men,Flowers have grown

Themselves around my ankles.I am never anchored,No roots keep meWhen royal thieves Rob me awayTo castles.

1 Jan. 2015

Driftwood

Upon backs we lay,Face down in magnolia water.Mayhaps we will drown,Dead eyes pry down through wonders. Surface stagnation Rots our skin with summer itch.Long tendril branchSwims the melancholic fruit out,A banquet Grown before my entire existence. Current by current Bastard creatures move in lurk. Hands together Meshed fingers bind driftwood bodies.

2 Jan. 2015

Rhodotus palmatus

Under the eaves of a rotten cottage Danced a girl of mushrooms. She twirled the ballets of winds and rainAlone on molded woods and mossy boards.

Her pileus freckled pink and whiteGills bled red down her porcelain face. A slight veil swept like hair

She spilled spores like dust.

Vigil forlorn to the keep, Annulus proof of marriageTo the mists and the moorsFrost nipped tiny dancer.

6 Jan. 2015

Saints Preserve Us

Holocaustic lips andRazor sharp knuckle bonesOn my cheeks, bleed me blankLike the world like the worldUtter a command.Send word to hell,Push me onto parchment,Etch my prayer onto yourBiblical crusade.Heavenly love,Ordained by what?You look to the clouds For an excuse to feelBut see only Earth’s terminal illness.Burn out the rot,Flesh makes thick smoke,Bones make thick saltAnd I make a good reason to kill.

7 Jan. 2015

The Silence

My words, my words, they are heavy dreadful things.Once, I tried to bury them, no open casket, just hidden in dirt They, however, grew a tree so honest and proud I wept.

After cutting the tree down, it's black leaves turned to dust, I cradle my intangibility like a babe fresh from the womb.How the wishes refuse to take them to disappear. The dust was flung from a cliff into the ocean, laying to restYet again, in salt, But it rained them back to me from above,Heavy artillery assault on the lonely soldier.

I brushed off what caught to me like thorns and burrs, Swept them into a fireplace, introducing them to coal,Smoke grew thick as hair and fell out into the room.

Every room every moor every sky; I am stalked like preyThese words that should have died in the abyss long agoChase me like hungry beasts. They never leave me be. In the mouths of others, throwing them like stones. In books I have never known, ghosts with echoesThey are my words and I can’t, for the life of me, lose them.

8 Jan. 2015

Don’t Trust Him

Your final words were exactly you.Those sounding echoic breaths Were everything you ever meant. Dried lips softly shookA joke out, A laugh at death.Your family by your bedsideAnd a stranger no one noticed,Black garbed and patient,Brooding in every corner of the room, In the corner of every moment,Throughout your time. We pet you like an animal,Calmed your chokingBut he still laid his handUpon your heart.The stranger was still the last to Embrace your earthly person.Those last words still echo

And ache in me – “Don’t trust him”.

9 Jan. 2015

China

We are teacups, sipped from by unseen monstrosities. Perhaps we brimmed once, full of essence and taste, Draining dry are we now, bare china skin.

Chipping, how we are, it is expected from time and again. Though a cheer to clash us together, an un-celebratory Gesture that almost destroys the both of us.

Tattooed are our porcelain, unfurling buds and promises. If the world sees fit to keep us as a toast to defeat, What youth and beauty we have will shatter.

14 Jan. 2015

Birds on the Fence is a self observatory collection Exploring love, loss, death and life.

This collection polarizes and emphasizes The gaps and trials that a year or two can bring.