AAMC 9 Essay 1

8/9/2019 AAMC 9 Essay 1

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Consider this statement: The primary goal of every business should be to maximize profits. Write a unified essay in which you perform the following tasks. Explain what you think the abovestatement means. Describe a specific situation in which maximizing profits might not be the primarygoal of a business. Discuss what you think determines whether or not the primary goal of a business

should be to maximize profits.Essay #1: The primary goal of every business should be to maximize profits.

In this capitalistic society where people are constantly trying to succeed, many peopleadopt the idea that every business should try to gain as much money as it can. Manybusinesses try to earn as much as they can with as little as they can. They try to getmaximum profit with minimal effort.

However, there are plenty of businesses that do not mainly seek to maximize profits,specifically non-profit organizations such as the Red Cross. These businesses try togive as much as possible.

The primary goal of businesses depends on why it was founded. If it was founded tomake a profit, then it should try to gain as much money as possible. If it was founded tohelp people, then it should try to give its money away.

SCORE POINT: 1

ANNOTATIONS:The ideas in this paper are virtually undeveloped. The lack of development, in turn, negatively affectsboth clarity of thought and organization. The thinking is highly superficial, and the organization isexcessively simple. The language is basic, relying heavily on simple sentences.

Essay #2: The primary goal of every business should be to maximize profits. The primary goal of every business should be to maximize profits. Every business seeksto acquire large sums of money and profits from consumers. Every business ownerdesires personal wealth and benefits from maximizing profits. The goal in business is to

minimize costs, and to maximize what is gained. This allows the business to grow, toimprove its products, and to stay competitive.

Although most businesses follow this concept, some businesses may not choose tomaximize profits. The Boys and Girls Club is an organization that works with “childrenat risk” of joining a gang or becoming a criminal. The Boys and Girls Club is a business, abusiness that isn’t concerned with maximizing profit. The Boys and Girls Club is moreinterested in spending its money to help these “children at risk” to break free from the

8/9/2019 AAMC 9 Essay 1


cycle of violence that surrounds them. The people who run this business or are a part ofit seek only to build a better foundation for these children. They want to see thesechildren rise out of poverty and have a chance at catching the American Dream.

The main determinant of a business’s goal should come from what the business aspiresto gain in the end. A business that focuses on the quantity of their relationship with theconsumer will be a business that attempts to maximize profits. A business that sellsproducts like clothing and shoes in large quantities, for example, is an example of abusiness that seeks to maximize profits because that is the ultimate goal of theindustry. An organization or business that focuses on the quality of their relationshipwith the consumer, like the Boys and Girls Club whose principle goal is to improve thelives of these kids, are not going to be so profit hungry. Instead, they’re striving toimprove the well-being of their consumers.

SCORE POINT: 3

ANNOTATIONS:This paper is a typical three: it shows some clarity of thought, some development, and some control of language. Additionally, the treatment of the rhetorical assignment is coherent—each paragrapheffectively responds to a different aspect of the prompt—though not particularly unified or focused.The writer struggles to make effective transitions between paragraphs and struggles to use language ina manner that allows the clear and fluid elaboration of ideas.

Essay #3: The primary goal of every business should be to maximize profits.

The primary goal of every business should be to maximize profits. This statementrepresents a strong and unwavering decree. It demands profit above all other things. Itrates surplus income as its highest goal. It makes no allowances for values, ethics, orintegrity in the work of a business, only money. To make such a forthright statementnecessarily brings with it potential criticism.

Nonetheless, it is certainly understandable that the primary purpose of somebusinesses is—and should be—to make money. In fact, our current economic systemstrongly relies on the notion that each business tries to maximize its own profits,thereby breeding competition between providers of similar goods. The resultingcompetition creates a benefit for consumers: falling prices. If businesses were nottrying to make a profit, they would soon become defunct and be forced to close theirdoors. In this sense, it is absolutely vital that businesses maintain strong profit marginsin order to stay afloat so that they can provide products for their customers and jobsfor their employees.

8/9/2019 AAMC 9 Essay 1


At the same time, as alluded to earlier, profit should not be the sole goal of everybusiness. Consider, for instance, pharmaceutical companies. Certainly, they are far frombeing charitable organizations. However, profit should not be the primary goal of theirwork; producing a high-quality, safe, and effective product should be. What if, forinstance, bias were to intervene in the research of new drugs or treatment methodsbecause of financial pressure? The results could affect the health and wellbeing ofthousands. Businesses, like pharmaceutical companies, whose products affect the healthand welfare of the public are obligated to put quality before profit.

Terence said, “Lupus homo homini” or “Man is a wolf to man.” He believed that menintrinsically fought against and were hostile to one another. This attitude is certainlypresent in the business world. At the same time, since it’s already innate, it shouldn’t bea point of emphasis. For the good of humanity we need to remember—in some cases,perhaps most—that businesses need to have integrity and need to behave in a sociallyresponsible manner.

SCORE POINT: 5

ANNOTATION:This paper shows clarity, focus, and unity from the beginning to the end. Complexity is introduced inthe third paragraph, where the writer effectively demonstrates that many businesses must balance theprofit motive with other, more humane, considerations in order to be successful. The writer’s effectivediction and control of sentence structure allow for the efficient development of ideas. Though notmuch longer than many papers that earn the score of 4, the author’s ideas are more thoroughly

developed as a result of better language control and greater complexity.

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8/9/2019 AAMC 9 Essay 1


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AAMC 9 Essay 1